HAPPY Sy Readers rd.com SHARK ATTACK! Ney ai BES STAY a: 7482 aEN ARS: IT IS THE PLASTIC PIPES, THE CHLORINATION TECHNOLOGY, THE THINGS THAT HELP MAKE WATER SAFE AND REFRESHING. IT IS AMERICAN CHEMISTRY. essentialFEATURES 106 Shark! * carnvesee When atwo-ton predator caught surfer Todd Endris in its jaws, an unlikely group of swimmers came tohis rescue. RS The Plane Truth * BATRICK SMITH & CAROL KAUFMANN Why the airline industry is on overload—and how you canmake flying alittle friendlier. Quick Study: Air Traffic Control GABRIEL SHERNAN Your car’s GPS system is more advanced than this technology (plus other surprising facts). EOD Se * Ie rorom tnt tele Tal the world’s) dumbest criminals. IARIAH TAUGER; COVER: PHOTOGRAPHED BY DAN WINT! Pea aan rea) | 41Secrets Your Doctor Would Never Share (Until Now) Peet ee Rew ielond Sen hee eueneee ty Lar eb Celt LE Vel inci 14 Cel hal Co138 Pye ur Pets 128 144 154 162 170 Escape from Burma The world’s longest-running civil war has displaced two million people. Among them are two girls who are heading here. 4Ways of Looking : ataGarden 5 Nature meets culturein NewYork, © Berkeley, Paris, and Kyoto. z Land of the Free E CARL M. CANNON Don’t let the high cost of gas ruin your summer. We found 2s historical hot spots that don’t cost acent. True Grit soir wer In Baghdad, a Marine general is ona mission to turn militants into citizens. And guesswhat? It’s working. Why We're Happy Turns out, happiness has alot todo with values—andit’s key to our prosperity asa nation. ADog?’s Life ox. wick trout This veterinary surgeon can’t talk tohis patients—but they speak to him loud and clear. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 7/082 VDGw waiting for soccer practice to finish should feel. 7 : i ge oy! re triscuit.com " a es 4G 8 KF Holdingsce oy a css it Cini” Jennifer Donovan, astronomer turned eight- wheeler. DEPARTMENTS React vou saio ir Make It Matter two nurses openeda health clinic for New Or- leans’s neediest Gait cameron WescoTT The Digest Beach reads....flag ladies ... and what kids really do at summer camp Q&A Pierce Brosnan mec crant Heroes Ahotelfire spurs three collegestudents to act sosepH TiRELLA Outrageous! Guilty until proveninnocent micast crowtey Dreamers Sheri Schmelzer filled afew holes and starteda million- dollar business marGaret HEFFERNAN @Work aici aoayv's work Off Base juno in unironn Ask Laskas seanne marie taskas Originals The dual life ofa roller derby queen Lenore sxenazy Laugh! rs te sest meoicine Health pain-free kneesand low-fat frozen treats Word Power Quotes Life in rHese uniten stares Last Laugh READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 07/08verizonwireless A phone that keeps up with you. (Not the other way around.) The easy-to-use Coupe? Designed exclusively for you and only from Verizon Wireless. It has everything you need and nothing you don’t. With a large, easy-to-read screen and keypad, plus dedicated buttons for special contacts or emergency calls. And it goes wherever you go, with America’s most reliable wireless network. Instores now. _verizonwireless.com 1800.2 JOIN()WIN FREE GAS FORA YEAR Take the pain out of going to the pump. Enter to be one of two winners who'll get a year’s worth of free gas at rd.com/freegas. No purchase necessary 10 enter or win, ARV $5,000. Sweepstakes closes 8/23/08. Open to US. res- idents ages 18 and over. For entry and official rules, 20 to rd.com/treegas. > Share Your Favorite Free Places This month, we tour 25 of the country’s greatest places to visit—for free (see page 144). Add your favorites at rd.com/freeplaces. Ask the didates If you could pose one question to the Presidential candidates, what would it be? Submit your pick at rd.com/ candidates. Look for responses from the White House contenders in an upcoming issue of RD. > Read Our All-New Blogs Reader’s Digest editors say what's on their minds: In “Loose Cannon,” Washing- ton Bureau Chief Carl M. Cannon gives inside infor- mation from our nation's capital. And in “Healthy Dose,” Health Director Julie Bain offers insights from the latest studies, Read them at rd.com/blogs. Join the Conversation What are the best tips and tricks for hassle-free air travel? Take part in a dis- cussion with commercial pilot Patrick Smith at rd,com/airtravel. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 07/08 SSELL/GETTY IMAGES, MICHAEL WITTE NicoLas RU:Finally it's all come together. Seon sme | nutrition with real protein and flavorful ingredients tsa delicous, complete meal your adult cat will love. HEALTHFUL LIFE" FROM PurINA’ Cat Crow’ [ Visit Healthfullife.comDigest Digest Editor-in-Chief Peggy Northrop Executive Editors Barbara O'Dair, Tom Prince Creative Director Hannu Laakso ‘Managing Editor Ann Powell Deputy Editor Andrea Barbalich ‘Washington Bureau Chief Carl M. Cannon West Coast Editor Meg Grant Health Director Julie Bain rector, Reporting and Research Deirdre M. Casper Features Editors Donna G. 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Spar ve, Global Communications William Adler Chief, Internati Magazine Development Frank Lalli vp, GeneralCounse! Andrea Newborn 'VP,U.S. Editor-in-Chief, Reader's Digest Peggy NorthropWS SM OVe LC Utd aed). THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS WITH PRESCRIPTION COVERAGE CAN GET NEXIUM FOR LESS THAN $30 A MONTH* If you suffer from persistent heartburn 2 or more days a week, despite treatment and changing your dict, it may be acid reflux disease. For many, one prescription NEXIUM pill ‘a day, along with dietand lifestyle changes, can provide 24-hour relief from heartburn caused by acid reflux disease. NEXIUM can also heal erosions in the esophagus that may be caused over time by acid reflux. This condition, called erosive esophagitis, can only be diagnosed by your doctor, and could get worse if left untreated. ‘You are ercouraged to report negative side etlecs of prescription drugs tothe FDA, Vist wwwcida.govinedwatc, or call 1-800-FDA-1088, “il et pact cats ray ary. Souve: Woes Kor Hash, Dyramic Cie enury - Dacor 2007 (as cessed etry 20,208) Based en monty oo phe costs for corey sued ar sic Pat Opts. Ecucingcasby oncom Medicare pans, he pace yg S29 or es par mon ranges fom 1.20% o 54.5% curing 2007 Dea cated ctams cover 4,100 ples. oe ee eect the AstaZeneca gos of companies {Zone Ataconoca Al gh esanes. 201417 308 With NEXIUM, most erosions heal in 4 to 8 weeks. Your results with NEXIUM may vary. Talk ‘to your doctor about your symptoms and find out if NEXIUM is right for you. NEXIUM has a low occurrence of side effects, which may include headache, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. Symptom relief does not rule out other serious stomach conditions. Please read the important Product Information about NEXIUM on the previous or following page and discuss it with your doctor. For information about NEXIUM, the Healing Purple Pill, visit www.purplepill.com or call 1-888-PURPLEPILL. Ifyou are without prescription coverage and can't afford your ‘medication, AstraZeneca may be able to help. Nexium. (esomeprazole magnesium) AstraZeneca PUe F Please read iis summary caetlly ‘and then askyou doctor about NEXIUM Noadvertsenent can provide athe inormatonreeded to determine 2 drug is igh for ye. Ths afvrisement doesnt tae the lace of cart discussion wth You doctor Only your doctor ashe training {weigh the risks and benefits ofa prescrition rg. WHAT 1S NEXIUM? NBKIUM is tye of mtn cle a proton pum ihe (PP) ads used t treat acd roux dias, also known as gastoesophagel rex disse (BERD), SERD is ashrone canto tht oncurs ven ai tom he sloach bcs up int te esoptegus (opp) cavsing symtoms, sch as heatum, or changes tot ining ofthe esophagus. Conmon symtoms ile eqn and paint htm, sour orbiter ast nthe mot, an fal swag For adults, NEXIUM ispescrbed forthe {resent of BERD symtoms, NEXIUM may also be prescribed tonal acireted damage tote lining the esophagus (kun as ersive ésoptagts) and to mann this heaing, Sues wih NEXIUM dna go beyond 6 montis. For adolesents 121017, NEXIUM s approved ‘ovthe shorter treatnent pte 8 weeks) cA GERD, NNEKIUM i vale into dosage reat (20mg and mg) ny your doer can prescribe the dose tha ight for you. ‘HOW DOES NEXIUM WORK? The ining of your stomach kas ions of spec el. Tey mate acid hough “cid puns.’ Tisai is produced totlp iesthe ‘ocd you eat Sometimes the cack up ito your esophagus, causa you to fa buizg seston of arthur. Overtime ai an wear avy o erode telinng othe esoptaus Ths condo, cle eosive esophagitis (ot 2), is more saous efecto! acid efx disease, an onl adetor can dtermine you have ths damage NEXIUM eantur ff sce ofthese acd pups. Ths reduces te chane of eartura and oter acd elu dseasesymstoms, For many op ‘one WEXIUM pil day cael eau symptoms for 2¢ hours Fo patents with E, NEXIUM peas ost ercsios in te esophagus wt to 8 weet Your results may vary. at AstraZeneca toll-fee at 1-800-236-9933. WHO SHOULD HOT TAKE NEXIUM? You shoul ot ae NEXIUM it you: ‘have eve han alegireacton tthe active ingen, esomeprazole magnesium triydate ‘5 have ver hada alegireacton any of the‘ollouing inci ingens in NEXIUM (incudng thecapsul stl) ghee Imorstearate 4-55, rycroaypropy cellos ypromelose,ragnesim stearate, methacrylic até copolymer type C, polsorbae suger speres, ta ttyl Cite, gelatin FDBC Ble #1, FD&C Red #40, DBC Red #2, tau doi, sel, et aloha, sopropy! cohol r-tutyl alcool, proovene dol sodium tyoxide, poli pyreidoe, and DBC Yelow #10 1m arealegicto ary PP maicaton fm areyoungertan 12 yes of age mare pregnant, tinkyou nay be pregnant, cr ae planning to become pregnant mare east eating HOW SHOULD | TAKE NEXIUM? NEXIUM should betaken onl when pesrbed bya doctor Follows or hernsuctios about hen ané ow tote NEXIUM, you ae unsure cor have questions ak your ctr (One NEXIUM pl stould be ten one ger day, 2 prescied by your dot. Take tt east ‘ hour fore a mea. Salo te pil woe you havea ard tine svaling the pil, you can éempy itt a tabespoon of anes. Be sue toeatit ght away Never chew or crust it Never stor ifr ter use WHAT SHOULD I TELL MY DOCTOR BEFORE TAKING NEXIUM? Bor king your mediat, el your doctor ify are tkng anyother medcaton, nding ay overte-oune (TC) medicaon 1m have utr any alegireacton any mication 1m have or have td severe er damage ‘mace egret, ink you nay be pean, or planning to becom pregnant mace eat eaing ‘mace akng a bod thine (suchas Counadin® o warara) ‘mate akng adit teator prevent fungal infetions (uth as ketoconazole) wm arelaking a dg for HV treatment caled atau Vs wor gurplepl com. call the Information Center WHAT ARE THE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF NEXIUM? Inaults, ie etfecs wit NEXIUM may include heatace,ciarhea, and abdominal pain, Inaolescents 12-17, se etets wth NEXIUM ‘mayingude headache, darrea, abdominal ain, andnausea NEXUM may cause ote sie ete besides ‘hose sted hee. you rave any sde tects ‘or smptoms tat you ae conoered about, takwith you doctor. ‘Syrotom reli with NEXUM does not mean ote serious stomach codons donot exist HOW SHOULD | STORE NEXIUM? NEXUM shoul be store at room emperature (25°, 77) Nap your ils in thebotl they came, Keep he oils vay fom cure, yur doctor ‘ls you tostop treatment how cute ils, Do ol take your pil ler the de epiration onthe bot has pass WHERE CAN | GET MORE INFORMATION ABOUT NEXIUM? Talkto your dector about NEXIUM. You can ‘obtain fll prescribing information and other detals by vsitag ww purpepil.com or calling 1-800-236-9933. GENERAL ADVICE itisimportanto tke NEXIUM as rescibed anda cscussany chances you enerince ie tang NEXIUN with your doctor Yeu sould ety use NEXIUM fra conitn for which thas ben presrbed.Donot give NEXIUM tooher pple, ever thy hare the sare medial anion you have, Keep NEAIUM and al medicines out of he reat of chien, NOTE: This summary prvdes important infomation abut NEXIUM. For mare infomation, please askyour heal cae rokessional or doctor abut he fl prescbngitormation and discuss it with him or her, saree aa ee Ase pp divans sa asi oat Bis Aes Su Cay, CRT emaamards LAs st tale Prasat. Wing DTS Fear 86 Nexium: (esomeprazolemagnesiu) A AstraZeneca” ——JPHOTOGRAPHED BY WYATT MCSPADDEN Best of America are proud to be on Eric Wills’s postal route (“Best Special Deliv- ery”). Every time we ask him how he’s doing, he answers, “Oh, I’m just having too much fun!”— even while delivering mail in the heat of the Florida summer. He may not mow our lawn, but he always makes us smile. Maresi Brown, St.Petersburg,Florida React) LETTERS ON THE MAY ISSUE Asa direct descendant of Francis Scott Key’s, I couldn’t be happier with Dayna Steele’s efforts Tm a high school student who gets up at 5:40 a.m. to get ready for the 6:30 bus. Tcan barely keep my eyes open in first period. Not surprisingly, my grades in that class are slipping. I try to go to bed by 10, but I can’t fall asleep eas- ily. “Best Wake-Up Call” confirmed my thinking—schools need to start later. Allyson Becker, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Get What You Pay For y computer was a lemon from the start. The manufacturer’s tech support team was unable to help, so I took the PC to an expert at my own expense. I needed a soft- ware patch, something the tech staff should have known. After I fired off READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/oe to honor “The Star-Spangled Banner” (“Best Patriotic Pitch”). I'm thrilled that Dayna (above) is taking our national anthem toa great new level. Hoekstra, newsanchorlreporter, NBC 25, Clio, Michigan aletter to the CEO, the company agreed to pay my bill. The trick—as you stated in “Satisfaction Guaran- teed!”—is to get past the clerks who have no authority. Jill Es nbaugh, Silverdale, Washington APlace to Talk hank you for writing about National Students of Ailing Mothers and Fathers Support Net- work in your awesome publication (Make It Matter: “Grief Relief”). I've been getting 10 to 15 e-mails a dayHorror Hucksters hy didn’t the impostors, who've lied about surviving various atrocities, write their juicy tales of valor and call it fiction (Outrageous! “Tragedy Tricksters”)? At least they'd get to stay out of prison. K, Rodane, vialnternet Loving Life t's 2 a.m,, and I’ve been up most of the night because of my stomach. I feel lucky, a se though. At 42, [ama three- year survivor of pancreatic from young people all over the cancer. Like Randy Pausch, I'm in United States (and one froma stu- _ the minority. Thank you for sharing dent in China) who read the article his story (“A Father’s Farewell”). and wanted to share their own Anything that helps drag this killer stories or wish me luck. This article cancer kicking and screaming into is going to do so much—in fact, it the light is a good thing. And with already has—for the organization more pieces like this, maybe one day and for me asI do my best to honor _ there will be more survivors. Please my mom, Anne Marie. tell Randy I will see him on the David Fajgen founderandexecutive other side. Kenneth Stokesberry director, National Students of AMF Support Network Rigby, Idaho How to Reach Us >> Customer Care Subscriptions, renewals, >> Lettersto the Editor >> Submissions gifts, address changes, letters@rd.com Forshorthumoritems,please payments, account 1 React, Reader's Digest, seepage6s.Weregretthat __information, and inquiries: Box 200, Pleasantville, wecannotacceptoracknowl- —_® rd.conyhelp New York 10572-0200 edge unsolicited artwork, © 877-732-4438 Include yourfullname, address, _ Photographs, or article- ® RD, Box7825,Red Oak, ‘e-mail, and daytime phone length manuscripts. Jowa 51591-0825 number. Wemay edit letters >> Reprints and use them in all printand = rd.comyreprints Digest electronic media. (min. 500copies) Digest 2 READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7jo8i CEO, SC Johnson Cleaner. Greener. Windex? At SC Johnson, we believe you shouldn’t have to choose between a product that works and a product that’s better for the environment. With our products you get both. Like Windex® For years it’s been formulated our Greenlist™ process. It’s better for the environment, and it really works. So when you reach for Windex® — or any SC Johnson product — you can feel good about it Johnson A FAMILY COMPANY ©2008 SC. Johnson & Son, Inc. All rights reserved sejohnson.cenAdvertisement ARE >> You know how important it is to use a facial moisturizer with sun protection to shield your skin from the harmful rays of the sun. But did you know that it's just as important to provide the same protection for the rest of your body? Now, it's easy. LUBRIDERM? Daily Moisture Lotion with SPF 15 provides the daily moisture you need plus sun protection in a non-greasy, fastabsorbing formula. Sun-smart SKIN You get essential moisturizing nutrients with UVA and UVB broad-spectrum sun protection that feels great on your skin, leaving it softer, smoother—and healthier. It's the same great skin care you expect from LUBRIDERIV? plus daily sun protection for your skin. Recommended by dermatologists... ©© LUBRIDERM® Daily Moisture Lotion with SPF 15 gives patients the broad spectrum protection they need, in a formulation that feels good on the skin and is easy to apply. 9 Dr. Ken Howe, Board-Certified New York Dermatologist Lubriderm = The Healthy Skin Experts = To learn more, go to www.lubriderm.comee at Alice Craft-Kerney (left) and Patricia Berryhillstarted a badly needed clinicin their neighborhood. Two nurses lost everything to Hurricane Katrina—and still found a way to give back BY GAIL CAMERON WESCOTT lice Craft-Kerney watched from her brother's New Orleans house as Hurri- cane Katrina split trees, broke win- dows, and swallowed cars, including her own. A few miles away, her best friend, Patricia Berryhill, a registered nurse like Alice, was supervising patients in the high-risk OB-GYN unit of University Hospital when the levees broke. For the next six days, Pat and her crew lived there until a rescue boat picked them up. Alice, 48, and her family were evac- uated to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Pat, 56, went to El Paso, ‘Texas. Weeks 15Are You Making seamless Inspired by stories like this one, the Reader’s Digest Foundation will donate $1 millionto charity this year. In honor of Alice Craft-Kerney and Patricia Berryhill, the RDF will award a $100,000 grant to Share Our Strength Relief and Recovery Fund for New Orleans, specifically for the city’sunmet health-care needs. a Tell us how you or someone you know is making it matter, and your story may appear here. Go to rd.com/foundation. later, they, like thousands of others, returned to find their homes unin- habitable, their jobs gone. The following spring, as she was rebuilding her life, Alice contacted Common Ground, a grassroots relief effort that had become a hub of information for returning residents. When Michelle Shin, the coordina- tor in the Lower Ninth Ward, learned that Alice was a nurse, she asked if she would spearhead a desperately needed clinic. Alice said she’d do it, but only with Pat. It took Pat less than five minutes to say yes. And after consulting with her children, she offered her dam- aged home as the new clinic. As word spread, help poured in. A group called Leaders Creating Change Through Contribution raised $30,000 and donated medical equipment, exam tables, and labor. 16 Home Depot and GE kicked in supplies. A local air-conditioning business did free ductwork. Con- tractors transformed bedrooms into exam rooms and Pat's living room into a waiting room. On February 27, 2007, the Lower 9th Ward Health Clinic opened, with patients lined up around the block. “The people who came in that first day were very sick,” says Pat, the clinical director. “They had chronic problems—high blood pressure, dia- betes, asthma—from not taking their medicine for a year after Katrina.” Over 1,200 people have made their way to the clinic, whose decor passes what Pat calls the mama test: “Would your mama feel comfortable here?” Until recently, it was the only health-care facility in the Lower Ninth Ward. “It’s a relief to have a clinic right here in the neighbor- hood where I can check my pres- sure,” says Latoya Owens, 30, who suffers from hypertension. “We operate on a wing and a prayer,” says executive director Alice cheerfully, “but we operate.” Since opening, they’ve been able to hire a medical director, a registered nurse, and a clerk, all part-time. “This is the most rewarding thing T've ever done,” says Alice. Adds Pat, “Tm alleviating some suffering in an underserved population. I listen to their stories, and I tell you, I cry a lot. People outside New Orleans think things are back to normal here. We are far from being back to normal. But we're making a dent.” @ READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/08Advanced nitening Dazzling white meets germ fighting healthy. Advanced Whitening 12 Hour Germ Fighting Upgrade toDigest THE WHO THE HOW/THE NOW y Zi Cape Codand the Islands (Rizzoliy$17.95)1s a different kind of beach book—one that lets you feel Puente ee aO area Cis -e a ae Sm aut ea Antu Deed ney Gera ace ead Cem Cue gO Ree te uct ee aa es eke Cel ne lg Rese us cis cee etic) photos from the book at rd.com/capecod.= The Digest SOCIETY The proteins in alligator Scientists may one day | retrieve carbon dioxide blood may provide clues “that would otherwise tothe next generation of pollutethe atmosphere, | human antibiotics. While usingits carbonatomsto | the unprocessed blood form hydrocarbons. These | itselfcan be dangerous, SO couldthen be used as ve drugs andointments that | om clefuelorasafeedstock | mayone daybedeveloped to make plastics and other materials wenowderive | fightopportunistic infec- fromoil.So couldthe tions, diabetic ulcers,and © at epardingcdoudsof carbon [MeNaeennea Menaees dioxide in ouratmosphere | Biochemist Mark Merchant | | reallyhaveasilver lining?” | saysthatalligator-blood ouneanGraham-2owe, | products could be ready in newsortst | Seven to ten years. from these proteins can In the season of barefeet, beaches, and backyards, remember thattetanus shots are effective for only about tenyears.Rustitself | > While you’re waiting | for new fuels ike this, you can find cheaper gas by looking at websites like gasbuddy.com and | | i a gasprices.mapquest.com. > Youcanalso goon | To get back in touch with actual human beings, not their iPhones, go to volunteermatch.organd plugin your zip codeto | | doesn’t causethecondi- {search opportunities with tion, butit can providea | dozens, even hundreds, of indexcreditcards.com perfectenvironmentfor | charitable organizations. tofind cards with good thetoxinthat does. Teen- | You canchoose onebased deals on gas rebates. agersandadultsmayneed | booster shots after punc- ture wounds. onyour skills and interests, your proximity, and the time you can spend. 20 READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 07/08BEST OF AMERICA aa ted Pees bs Freeport, NEE Main Streetin a coastal Maine village. Atrioof retired housemates—Carmen Footer, Elaine Greene, and JoAnn Miller— wear coordinating outhts, wave American flags, and accept supportive honks from passing drivers. What began as aspontaneous act of patriotism in the days following 9/11 has turned into a way of life for the Freeport Flag Ladies, as they call themselves. When troops went to Afghanistan and then Iraq, the women expanded their mis- sion. Almost weekly, they drive more than two hours to the airport in Bangor to send off soldiers or greet those returning home, snapping pictures all the while. The photos are uploaded to freeportfiagladies.com and | thappens on Tuesdays from to 9am. on WORD OF THE MONTH — = Liquid revulsion (“hate” +“Gatorade”) “Stop drinking so much Hatorade. | don’t know what you have against the upper class.” From left: Elaine Greene, Carmen Footer, and JoAnn Miller treasured by relatives across the country. “The grateful e-mails we receive from families are what gives usthefaithto meet, greet, and goon,” Greene says. photograph Thethreewomen _troopsin Bangor, forgo vacations, movies, Maine. and dinners out and use their money to buy presents for the troops: toiletries, candy, and whimsical toys (Hot Wheels area favorite). Soldiers stationed in Afghanistan also ask for school supplies they can hand out to local children. “We like to send things that make them smile,” Greene explains, “and show them that Americacares.” Bridget Nelson I Online commenter,The Digest ... Your Kid’s Camp Counselor Won't Tell You Sending the kids off to camp this sui THIRTEEN THINGS lassachusetts, New York, ermont, and Wiscon: so they'd share some of the secrets of their For the first week, the cries of the HOMIGSIEK are almost unbearable. After that: “Mom? Who’s Mom?” Your kid is alot less shy anda lot more eempetent than you think, Your son will shun elothing: and may well go without showering for weeks. “It’s like a frat youjoin when you're ten.” Don’t bother with the IabEIS—everything’s going to get hopelessly mixed up anyway. As longashe or sheis eventu- ally found, we're not going to tellyouaboutallthe times we had to calla SareH=anid fescue for your child. Some of us are|HUinBOVEF every morning and rigidly enforce afternoon naptime not because the kids need the rest but because our heads hurt. Evenifit’snota coed camp, your tenis going to learn more about the @ppOSiEe (5@X (accurate or not) than " youwant to know. If they want to eat peanut butter'anid jelly for weeks in arow, there’s really nothing we can doaboutit. We confiscate the llegar” candy yousend and eat it | ourselves. For thekid’s own | good, of course. | Your kids willbe plunged into icy water, submitted to exotic SHORES? and | scared witless countless times—just because we think it’s funny. ». Oh, and they'll love it. | According to the American CampAssociation, the typical camper FEtUFAIFa#@ is about 60 percent, and 92 percent of campers surveyed say the people at camp “helped me feel good about myself.” For weeks after coming, | home, your child is going to | speakin incomprehensible (ampeslangand pine for | people named Lunchmeat, Fuzzy,and Ratboy. | We actually do this because and we'll probably do itagain next year. (According to the ACA, the average return rate for staff is 40 to 60 percent.) © Campis worlds more fun as acounselor than itisasa camper. Interviews by Adam Bluestein What do you think of these secrets? Post your comments at rd.com/camp. ARGUMENT STARTER | In the world of online dating, a five-foot-eight-inch man | | has to make $146,000 more a year than a six-foot-tall : man to get the same number of dates. 22 Source: Wired | READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/o8 WAGES DORLING KINDERSLEY/GETTYTON SPARKS; CHIP SOMODEVILLA/GETTY IMAG courtesy Mi Storyteller Minton Sparks. oO Her DVDs and new novel (White Light- yl ning) have people talking. “Imagine, if youwill, Flannery O’Connor and the MO ‘ghost of Hank Williams having an affair. If [Minton Sparksisntt] theghost _ i child of the woman who wrote Wise Blood and the man who sang ‘I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive) then cotton doesn’t grow inacotton field” Marshall Chapman, Garden & Gun Anew way to X-ray. Swiss scientists have developed silicon grating thatincreases the accuracy of traditional machines. That’s good news for airplane wingsand human bones, accordingto Popular Mechanics, since hairline cracks will soon be easier to detect. Researchers also say the newtechniquewill make it easier to distinguish between healthy and cancerous tissue. The Reverend Jeremiah Wright isn’tgone and he won't be forgotten, buthe has retired. The pastor, famously disavowed by Barack Obama, willsoon move intoa10,400- squere-foot home in Chicago’s Tinley Parksuburb. Wright, who has been accused of demonizing white people, will be livingina neighborhood that is 89 per- cent white and 4 percent black. The Survivors’ Fund in Washington, D.C., “the last major September 11-related charity,” is shutting down almost seven years aftera hijacked plane crashed into the Pentagon, writes Philip Rucker in The Washington Post. The charity raised $25 millionand provided professional casemanagers to “work with families one-on-one to help them move beyond their grief, heal their bodies, and return to work.” THE MONTHLY CHALLENGE Doan Internet search on goodsearch.comand the site will donate a penny toa charity you choose. Go through searchkindly.org and all advertising proceeds get funneled toadifferent, user-chosen charity each month, Sources: The WallStreet Journal, The Financial Times Donate your frequent flier milesto any number of good causes. Look for specific charities on your airline’s website, or Googlea favorite charity and see ifit canaccept them. Bet on who wins the election, whether the United States will capture ‘Osama bin Laden, or if Iran will be invaded before January 20, 2009. On betagive.com, you bet actual dollars (yours) and the winnings go to acharity youchoose. Take the Weekly Challenge at rd.com/challenge. 23The Digest THE MONTHLY READER ADD, SUBTRACT Alo The shooting came in October of 1984, abrupt and rash, a qui silver bang. The day it happened, Mason Hunt had spent most of his morning settled into the afghan- covered recliner at his mother’s house, watching a non- descript black and brown and white thrush fly against the big den window again and again as it tried to punch through the glass, the bird evidently sickly or a bona fide lunatic, remaining behind while its kin aban- doned Virginia and migrated farther south. THE LEGAL LIMIT SY MARTIN CLARK (ALFRED A. KNOPF, $24.35) Use refillable stainless steel bottles from Klean Kanteen (kleankanteen.com). The US. government is beginning to acknowledge that bisphenol-A may alter human development (the draft report from the National Toxicology Program was recently released), so it makes sense to avoid the nearly unbreakable polycarbonate bottles that contain the compound. 24 When I'd entered kindergarten, the teacher proudly told us we were going to learn to read. Iraised my hand and explained that since I could already read and write, I saw no need to prac- tice those skills anymore. Instead of trying to find out my reading level, the teacher told the class I was a liar and made me stand ina corner, PS CHILD BY JANISIAN on too long, and the average American is too maxed out, overworked, and overspent to have anything left to take. SOC Re Sen aa ee ua BARBARA EHRENREICH (METROPOLITAN BOOKS, $24) Stop using plastic beverage bottles. Rather thantryto memorize which plastics may be safe, avoid them altogether. Besides health concerns, there are environmental ones: The bottles require huge amounts of oil to produceand transport, andit takes 700 years for them to begin to break down inalandfll, READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 7/08 The looting has goneIF YOU HAVE OSTEOARTHRITIS KNEE PAIN, HERE'S SOME COMFORTING FREE Knee Pain Relief Packet Call toll-free 1-866-766-3145 or visit www.SYNVISC.com/readers Please see additional important Patient Information an the next page. 22008 Genzyme Corporation. Al rights reserved, SYIVISC and GENZYME are regis rademarks of Genzyme Corporaien §-00430.4 03/2008 00708 Get up to 6 months of osteoarthritis (OA) knee pain relief with SYNVISC? Don't let OA of the knee control your life, SYNVISC is, an OA treatment that’ really different. SYNVISC: © LLubricates and cushions the joint, which can help you move more feely. ‘© Provides up to 6 months of knee pain relief to help get you back to the activities you've been avoiding, © Relieves your knee pain without the side effects ‘of many pain plls* ® \scovered by Medicare and most insurance plans. Learn more about SYNVISC. Call us or mail back the attached card today for a FREE Knee Pain Relief Packet. Important Patient Information SYNVISC is used to relieve knee pain due to osteoarthritis (OA). It is for patients who do not get enough relief from simple pain Killes such as aceta- rminophen, orfrom exercise and physical therapy. SYNVISC is generally well tolerated. However, it ‘may not work or everyone. The side effects most com- monly seen when SYNVISC is injected into the knee were pain, swelling and/or fluid build-up around the knee, Cases where the swelling is extensive or painful should be discussed with yout doctor. Other side effects such as rash have been reported rarely. Before trying SYNVISC, ell your doctor f you are allergic to products from birds—such as feathers, eggs, or poultry—orif your legis swollen or infected Talk to your doctor before resuming strenuous weight- bearing activities after treatment. SYNVISC has not been tested in children, pregnant women ot women who are nursing. You should tell your doctor if you think you are pregnant or if you are nursing a child. “Treatment with SYNVISC may not eliminate the need for other OA medications, SYNVISCSYNVISC HYLAN G-F 20 PATIENT INFORMATION Be sure read the folowing importantinformaten carey. This information oes Dot take the place of your dota’ avi If you éo not understand this information or want to know mere, ask your doctor WHAT Is syNVIsc? Sytvisc isa gel-tke mitue fat is made up of tylan A fud, hylan B gel, and salt ‘ater Hylan A and tian Bare made fam a substance called hyalurenan [pronounced hiye-aoo-ROE-tan, als xnawn as sodium Hyaluronale that comes from chicken coms. This fs a natural substance found in he body ands present in very high amouns in joints. The bod’s wn haluronan ats tke 2 lbricant and a shock absorber inte nt and is needed forthe joint to work propery. Osteoarthvits (prorounced o:-TE-o-ar-THR-ts) (A) is a ype of arts that involves te wearing down of cartilage the protective covering on the ends of your bones. n OA, here may not be enaugh nyauranan, and there may be @ ‘decrease n the quay ofthe hyaluronn in the jit. Synise comes in syringes Containing 2 mL (ha @ teaspoon) of preduct. Sync is ected drt into your ke WHAT Is SYNVISC USED FOR? Sytvisc fused to love knee pan du to OA. is used or patients who do ot get erough rel from sinpe panies, such as acetaminophen, or fom vecise and physical therapy. WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF SYNVISG? Two medical studies involving a total ot 132 patients were done in Germany. The patients in these studies were at least 40 years ald and had knee pan due to OA. The patents were laced In an of two groups. One group was ge an injecon of Syrvisc nto one or both knees once a week far three weeks The second group was given aninjecton of saltwater once a week for three wees. As part of fie study, eo jlnt pan was measured fer 26 Wools, Aso, patints and doctore were asked fo judgete success ofthe Featment ir 2 weeks. Paes with O& ‘nee pain, who didnot get pn rele vith other medicines, got pain ei wit Syme. The patents given Syvise hac mare pan reli han the paents given Saltwater Some paints started to fel pain rele after the st week of Syrise treatment The mos! pin rele and the greatest amauntofteatment success was seen 8 to 12 wooks after SynviscYeatment started. ‘A medical study done inte United States involved 90 patents. The patients were at least 40 years olf and hadknee pain due to OA. Patients were placed into one of two grcups. One group was given Synvsc once a week for three weeks. The Second group had needle inserted inb the knee to have any uid removed (his procedure scaled arthroceresis [prosounced AR-thro-ser-TE-sis) once a week for thee weeks. Palen improved after Syrvisc treatment, but not more than Datients who had artrocentess. This study was ferent fom the German sludies because the ast time the two groups were compated was ony two weeks after the st Syrvisc injection. The stidy was aso offerentinoter ways, Incaing lenge ome that patents nas to stop taking medicines betore they ‘oul stat treatment. The leg of time patients nad to stop taking medicines vas to weeks in the German stules and four weeks inthe. tu WHAT OTHER TREATMENTS ARE AVAILABLE FOR OK? Ifyou have OA, thee are othe things you can do besides getting Sywvise. Thase incu Non-drug treatments * avoiding activites that caute knee pain * physica therapy + emavalof excess fluid from your knee rug therapy * ain elevers such as acetaminophen and narcotics * drugs tat reduce inflammation (signs of inflammation ae sveling, pain or redness}, such as asprin and other nosteridal ant-niarmatory ‘rugs (SAlDs) such as lboroten an naproxen «steroid that are jected drecty into your knee ARE THERE ANY REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT RECEIVE SYNVISC? + You shauld not ge this product Ifyou have had any allergic reaction before to Sys o hyaluronan products. Sgr of anallrgi eaction may include ‘wel of your face, tongue, o throat; icy breathing or swallowing, ‘sores ot breatn; wheezing chest pana Ugntess in your throat ‘Seepinss; rash itching vs; fusing; andr fee. You shuld call your ocior immedatety tyou develop any ofthese sies of an alergic reaction. ‘ou should not be given Sys if you fave a knee jon into or skin " In the chaos of a late-night fire, three students on spring break risked : Anatomie dread gota j CS ao me \ t would be dawn in less than an hour. For a wee! Daniel Moreno, Bri and 23 other juniors and seniors from Westfield State College in Massachusetts had relaxed on white- sand beaches and club-hopped around Acapulco, M On their last night, Moreno and Stanley, who'd been friend: d workout buddies for years, partied until after 4 a.m. Now, back in the room they shared at Best Western Playa Suite: they figured it was time to turn in. 43But as Stanley’s head hit the pillow, he heard glass shattering and bolted upright. From the bal- cony of their fourth-floor room, Moreno and Stanley saw black smoke pouring from the hotel’s adjoining tower. “We watched one window blow out, and then “I was screaming at the top of my lungs,” says Moreno. “I hit every door in the hall.” another, and heard people shouting,” says Stanley, 21. Students were throwing ropes made from twisted bedsheets off their balconies, and acouple of them were trying to climb down. Moreno, also 21, ran out into the corridor and began pounding on doors and shouting, “Westfield!” and “Fire!” “Some people thought we were joking,” says Stanley, a criminal- justice major who is a volunteer firefighter in his hometown of Thomaston, Connecticut. “But after they saw the smoke, they didn’t think it was funny anymore.” Almost all the hotel’s 502 rooms were filled with college students from across the United States. “Peo- ple were yelling, ‘What the hell is going on?’ and trying to get out,” says Ryan Senccal, a 21-year-old junior who had a room on the sec- ond floor. “It was pure chaos.” 44 Because of the hour, the students were on their own; only a minimal staff was on duty. The smoke was attributed to a fire in a laundry chute, say authorities. And while a spokesperson for the hotel—which suffered smoke damage and was closed for several days—asserts that the fire alarm system had passed inspection just two weeks earlier, sev- eral students have in- sisted it was not working that night. “I pulled an alarm and nothing happened,” says Drew Nalewanski, 22, a business manage- ment major. As the smoke thickened, Moreno raced upstairs to where other West- field students were rooming. “I thought of all their parents back home,” he says. “It motivated me.” eanwhile, Stanley was downstairs helping people get through the smoke-filled lobby. There he joined forces with Nalewanski, who comes from four generations of firefighters. Just back from his own night out, Nalewanski had come across the first group of students to get out, who were milling around outside the hotel’s entrance. Many were wearing only shorts and T-shirts and were clutching their passports. “Let’s go,” Nalewanski said. He and Stanley wet their shirts in the lobby bathroom and wrapped them around their mouths and noses so READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/08ore play OFF! or At SA ane ay xe? ron entire patio—up to Thy ” oy : are Alan hg ae " KS r. Pou Colac) Cena a) eT] Lan, Poo BUGS Ce Visit OffPowerPad.com for money-saving coupons. ©2008 S.C. Johnson and Son, Ino. All rights reserved.they could breathe. Then they charged up the stairs. In the meantime, Moreno had made it up to the eighth floor before turning back. “Kids had no idea what was going on,” he says. “I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I made sure I hit every door.” Nalewanski and Stanley found Moreno on the fourth floor, vomit- ing and struggling to breathe. After making sure he could get back down on his own, they continued upstairs, down the corridors on every floor, slamming their fists on every door. Protected by their makeshift masks, the two fought their way to the top, then turned around and began their descent. By then, says Stanley, “there wasn’t any air. My throat and lungs just burned.” In the end, while a few students were treated for smoke inhalation, no one was seriously hurt. Even more incredible, all the Westfield students made it back to Massachu- setts later that same day. ‘The trio have become local he- roes. But Stanley didn’t crow to his friends. “I told a couple of them. Then I started getting calls from other people, asking, ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’” he says. “But I didn’t think it was that big a deal.” Westfield president Evan Dobelle disagrees. “I have a great deal of pride in these young men and how they were able to react in such an emergency,” he says. How much danger were they in? “My roommate thought I was stuck inside,” says Nalewanski. “They all thought we were dead.” Trying to describe how he found his courage that morning, Moreno says, “You run on adrenaline, and your instincts tell you it’s the right thing to do. There were hundreds of people in the hotel. It was our obligation to help them.” 46 MIGHT WE SUGGEST A SAFER SPORT, LIKE CHECKERS? Wonder why former boxing champ George Foreman namedall his children George? Here’s howhe explained it to CBSNews: “You try getting hit in the head by Muhammad Ali and then | te see how many names you can remember.” Submited by Max Cohen Peter O’Toole does not work out. “My only exercise,” the actor told Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, “is walking behind the coffins of friends who exercise.” Submittedby Naomi Gray READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/o8 FILLERS ILLUSTRATED BY LEO ACADIAAdvertisement PlasticonPaper WHY PLASTIC BAGS ARE BETTER emcees Recycling of plastic bags and film has Peed Maternal ec eeee errs uP ts) ‘comes from recycled plastic bags, | and 2006, enough to build 1.5 million enue Reus feo kel ace Last year, The ULS Report, a newsletter devoted to conserving resources and reducing waste, reviewed data on the environmental impact of grocery bags. They found that plastic bags: * USE 70% LESS ENERGY TO PRODUCE THAN PAPER BAGS * GENERATE 80% LESS WASTE ~ TAKE 91% LESS E IERGY TO RECYCLE PI * GENERATE 79% LESS GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS THAN BIODEGRADABLE BAGS American PLASTICS. TOO VALUABLE cy TO WASTE.™ RECYCLE. Many retailers have plastic bag collection programs. To find a plastic bag recycling program in your community, visit PLASTICBAGRECYCLING.ORG.CRESTOR sa registered trademark and I'S TME ia trademark of the AstraZeneca group of companies, ©2008 AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals LP llrightsreserved. 260576 408 IS SOMETHING BUILDING IN YOUR ARTERIES? If you have high cholesterol, it's time to get smart about plaque buildup. Atherosclerosis is, the progressive buildup, of plaque in arteries over time. Important Safety Information about CRESTOR In adults, CRESTOR is prescribed along with diet for lowering high cholesterol. CRESTOR is also prescribed along with diet to slow the progression of atherosclerosis (the buildup of plaque in arteries) as part of a treatment plan to lower cholesterol to goal. CRESTOR has not been determined to prevent heart disease, heart attacks, or strokes. CRESTOR is not right for everyone, including anyone who has previously had an allergic reaction to CRESTOR, anyone with liver problems, or women who are nursing, pregnant, or who may become preanant. Your doctor will do blood tests before and during treatment with CRESTOR to monitor your liver function. Unexplained muscle pain and weakness could be a sign of a rare but serious side effect and should be reported to your doctor right away. The 40-mg dose of CRESTOR is only for patients who do not reach goal on 20 mg.Get a FREE Take Action Kit and find out how high cholesterol and other health factors may affect plaque buildup in your arteries. Go to TakeAction.com as While you've been building your life, plaque may have been building in your arteries. It's a progressive disease called atherosclerosis (also called “athero”) that can start in early adulthood. If you have high cholesterol, athero is something you may need to be concerned about. Other health factors, such as family history of early heart disease, diabetes, or high blood pressure may also play a role in the progression of athero. Soit's important to talk to your doctor about athero. Our free Take Action Kit can help you prepare. It explains how high cholesterol can play a role in the formation of plaque buildup, and offers healthy lifestyle tips. It also includes a 30-day free trial offer for CRESTOR” (rosuvastatin calcium), approved to help slow the progression of atherosclerosis in adults as part of a treatment plan to lower cholesterol to goal. Order your Take Action Kit, including a 30-day free trial offer for CRESTOR. Fill out and return the attached card, or order online at TakeAction.com Be sure to tell your doctor if you are taking any medications. Side effects occur infrequently and include headache, muscle aches, abdominal pain, weakness, and nausea. Please read the important product information about CRESTOR on the adjacent page. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. If you can't afford your medication, AstraZeneca may be able to help. IT'S TIME: CRESTOR 800-2-CRESTOR CRESTOR.COM rosuvastatin calcium Astrazeneca? ssLURE Tel eT SS) ead (eee lcm CULL) Please read this summary carefully and then ask your health care professional about CRESTOR. No advertisement can provide all the information needed to determine if a drug is right for you. This advertisement does not take the place of careful discussions with your health care professional. Only your health care professional has the training to help weigh the risks and benefits of a prescription drug. WHAT IS CRESTOR? CRESTOR ‘s a prescription medicine that belongs to a group of cholesteol-lowering medicines called statins. Along with diel, CRESTOR lowers “bad” cholesterol (LLC) and increases “good” cholesterol (HDL-C). CRESTOR also slows the progression of atherosclerosis in adult with high choles- terol, a8 pat ofa teatment plan to lower cholesterol to goal WHAT IS CHOLESTEROL? Cholesterol is a fatty substance, also called a lipid, normally found in your bloodstream. Your body noeds a certain amount of cholesterol to function properly. But high cholesterol can lead to health problems. LDL-C is called bad cholesterol because if you have too much in your bloodstream, it can become a danger to your health and can lead to potentially serious conditions. HDL-C is known as good cholestercl because it may help remove excess cholesterol. Common health factors such as diabetes, high blood pressure, smoking, obesity, family history of early heart disease, and age can make controlling your cholesterol even more important WHAT IS ATHEROSCLEROSIS? Atherosclerosis is the progressive buildup of plaque in the arteries overtime. One major cause is high leve's of LDL-C. Other health factors, such as family history, diabetes, high blood pressure, or if you smoke or are overweight, also play a role in the lormaticn of plaque in arteries. Often this plaque stats building up in arteries in early adulthood and gets worse over time. HOW DOES CRESTOR WORK? Most ofthe cholesterol in your blood is made inthe live. CRESTOR works by blocking an enzyme in the liver. Block- ing this enayme causes the liver to make less cholesterol CRESTOR helps the liver 2bsorb and use more cholesterol from the blood WHO SHOULD NOT TAKE CRESTOR? Do not take CRESTOR if you * have had an alleigic reaction o CRESTOR or are allergic to any ol its ingredients. The acve ingredient is rosuvestatin calcium. The inactive ingredionts aro: microcrysaline cellulose, lactose monohydrate, (continued) tribasic calcium phosphate, craspovidone, magnesium slearale, hypromellose, triacetin, titanium dioxide, yellow ferric oxide, and red terri oxide * have liver problems ® are pregnant or think you may be pregnant, or are planning to become pregnant, CRESTOR may harm your unborn baby. If you become pregnant, stop taking CRESTOR and call your health care professional right away © are breast-feeding. CRESTOR can pass into your breast milk and may harm your baby The safety and effectiveness of CRESTOR have not been established in children. HOW SHOULD | TAKE CRESTOR? © Take CRESTOR exaclly as prescribed by your health are professional. Do not change your dose or stop CRESTOR without talking to your health care proies~ sionel, even if you are feeling well © Your health care professional may do blood tests to check your cholesterol levels during your treatment with CRESTOR, Your dose of CRESTOR may be changed based on these blood test results © CRESTOR can be taken at any time of day, with or without food © Swallow the tablets whole Your health care professional should start you on a cholesterol-lowering diet before giving you CRESTOR Stay on this diet when yau take CRESTOR © Wait at least 2 hours after taking CRESTOR to take an antacid that contains a combination of aluminum and magnesium hydroxide © If you miss a dose of CRESTOR, take it as soon as you remember. However, do not take 2 doses of CRESTOR within 12 hours of each other * If you take too much CRESTOR or overdose, call your health care professional or a Poison Control Center right away 07 go to the nearest emergency room WHAT SHOULD | TELL MY HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL BEFORE TAKING CRESTOR? Tell your health care professional it you «have diabetes, thyroid, liver or kidney problems * are pregnant or think you may be pregnant, or are planning to become pregnant ° are breast-eeding * havea history of muscle pain or weakness © drink alcoholic beverages * are oj Asian ancestry Tall your healthcare professional about all medicines you take or plan to take, including prescription and nonprescription (continued)medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Some medicines may interact with CRESTOR, causing side eects, Itis particularly important to tell your health care professional if you are taking or plan to take ~ cyclosporine (used after organ transplants) — gemfibrozil (used to lower cholesterol) ~ ibrtes (used to lower cholesterol} ~ niacin (used to Lower cholesteral) — warfarin (used for thinning blood) — lopinavir/itonavir combination (used to treat HIVIAIDS) birth contro! pills that contain ethinyl estradiol or norgestel — antacids containing aluminum and magnesium hydroxide (used for heartburn) Knowall ofthe medicines you take and wheat they lock like. It alvay a good idea to check thal you have the right prescription before you leave the phaimacy and before you take any medicine, Keep a lst of your medicines with you to show your health caro professional, you nood to go tothe hospital or have surgery, tll ll cf your health care professionals about all medicines that you ate taking WHAT ARE THE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF CRESTOR? CRESTOR can cause side effects in some people. Serious side effects may include: Muscle problems. Call your health care professional rightaway if you experience unexplained muscle pain, tenderness, or weakness, especially with fever. This may bo an carly sign of a rare musolo problom that could load to serious kidney problems. The risk of muscle problems is greater in people who are 65 years of age or older Cor who already have thyroid or kidney problems. The chance of muscle problems may be increased if you are taking certain other medicines with CRESTOR. Liver problems. Your health care professional should do blood tests before you start taking CRESTOR and during treatment to check for signs of possible liver problems. The most common side effects may include: headache, muscle aches and pains, abdominal pain, weakness, and nausea. This is not a complete list of side effects of CRESTOR. Talk to your health care professional tor a complete list or it you have side effects that bother you or that do not go away. HOW SHOULD | STORE CRESTOR? ‘Store your medication at room temperature, in a dry place. If your health care professional tells you to stop treatment or if your medicine is out of date, throw the medicine away. Keep CRESTOR and all medicines in a secure place and ut of the reach of children. WHERE CAN | GET MORE INFORMATION ABOUT CRESTOR? Talk to your health care professional, Full Prescribing Information is available on www.CRESTOR.com or by calling 1-800-CRESTOR GENERAL ADVICE itis important to take CRESTOR as prescribed and to discuss ary health changes you experience while taking CRESTOR with your healthcare professional. Do not use CRESTOR for a condition for which it was not prescribed. Do not give CRESTOR to other people, even if they have the same medical condition. It may harm them. Keep CRESTOR and all medicines away from children. This summary provides important infermation about CRESTOR For more information, please ask your health care professional about the full Prescribing Information and discuss it with him or her. (continued) Visit www.CRESTOR.com. Or call the Information Center at AstraZeneca toll-free at 1-800-CRESTOR. NY, CRESTOR rosuvastatin calcium (CRESTOR was licensed by AstraZeneca from Shionogi Co. LTD, Osaka, Japan. (CRESTOR isa registered trademark ofthe AstraZeneca group of companies. (©2008 AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals LP Allright reserved. AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals LP Wilmington, DE 19860, Rov: 01/08 258865 4a AstraZeneca 2$30,000! Enter. Yeah! Go to Rup owerhouss: com ba TRY RatPHOTOGRAPHED BY KAREN BALLARD/REDUY USTRATED BY TIM BOWER Outrageous MICHAEL CROWLEY Trial by Media For modern pundits, “presumed guilty” has more entertainment value than “presumed innocent” fter his fourth wife wait for a thorough investigation, vanished, former police much less a trial, anymore? officer Drew Peterson Last March a video surfaced on was deemed a “person of interest.” YouTube showing a U.S. Marine When a pathologist determined tossing what looked like a puppy that Peterson’s third wife had been over a cliff to its death. Before it forcibly drowned in her bathtub, could be determined if the puppy Illinois authorities reclassified him was still alive or was sick—or was a as “clearly a suspect” in the even a real dog—hundreds of cyber- disappearance. By the time CNN host Nancy Grace finished rolling her eyes and mugging for the cam- era, Peterson had become “the prime suspect.” A relatively fine point, to be sure, and certainly mild compared with what was being said on the Internet. On the website rottenneighbor.com, Peterson. was a “murderer” and a “sick, sick animal.” No charges had been filed—and still haven’t, as of this writing. But who wants to Michael Crowley isa senior editor at The New Republic. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/oepundits had announced their verdict (guilty) and proposed various pun- ishments, including “making his life a living hell.” The incident is still under investigation. After a roadside bomb destroyed a Humvee carrying Marines through the town of Haditha, a firefight left “Accusations and headlines have become papers, on television and radio, and now on the Internet, pundits and politicians treat accusations as truth and make sweeping declarations of guilt—shattering lives without waiting for the legal system. The “presumption-of-guilt culture,” Washington attorney Lanny J. Davis calls it. “Accusations and headlines have become surrogates for facts and presumptions surrogates for facts,” of guilt.” he says, “to the point where repu- says one lawyer. tations can be ruined 24 Iraqi civilians dead. As a probe began, Congressman Jack Murtha appeared on MSNBC's Hardball. The show’s host, Chris Matthews, won- dered if the case echoed the 1968 slaughter of over 300 Vietnamese in the hamlet of My Lai. “Was this My Lai?” Matthews asked Murtha. “You have got some civilians sitting in a room [or] out in a field and they’re executed.” “That’s exactly what happened,” replied Murtha, a Pennsylvania Democrat and a vocal critic of the war. In other remarks, the Congress- man accused the Marines of “cold- blooded murder.” Ultimately, a more complex picture emerged, of soldiers in tense house-to-house searches with uncertain rules of engagement. Of the four Marines originally charged with murder, only one defendant remains—a squad leader who staunchly asserts his innocence. Not that you'd know that. In news- 54 beyond repair.” ‘The infamous Duke “rape” case is a prime example. After an African American stripper claimed she'd been gang-raped at a lacrosse-team party in March 2006, the press vili- fied the well-to-do white accused, The media took weeks to find the huge holes in prosecutor Michael Nifong’s case. Factual inaccuracies repeated in the press contaminated the commentary. So did ludicrous notions about guilt and innocence. On CNN, one on-air pundit, New England School of Law adjunct professor Wendy Murphy, flatly called the Duke students rapists, adding, “I’m going to say it because at this point [the accuser is] entitled to the respect that she is a crime victim.” After the charges were thrown out, Nifong was disgraced and dis- barred. But there were no penalties for the media commentators who had condemned the young men. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/08One factor underlying the current rush to judgment is the craze for cable TV shows that treat true crime as a subject for opinionated argument. MSNBC recently debuted a program hosted by legal affairs expert Dan Abrams. The name of the new show: Verdict. After all, who really needs a courtroom? The most notorious offender may be Nancy Grace, who, according to her own CNN colleague Larry King, “represents a kind of thinking—and it might be true in 60 percent of America—Ithat] if you're accused, you did it.” Sometimes a person need not even be accused. Looking last year at a photograph of Paris Hilton with what appeared to be a hand- rolled cigarette, Grace confidently pronounced it marijuana. Or take Grace’s approach to the 2002 disappearance of teenager Elizabeth Smart. When a handyman was arrested on an unrelated parole violation, Grace insisted that the man—who turned out to have no connection to the crime—was guilty. alse accusations don’t just taint juries. They ruin lives. Ask Francis Evelyn, a Brooklyn elementary school janitor accused last year of raping an eight- year-old student. Cameras filmed Evelyn's arrest. With the girl's credi- bility in doubt and no evidence, police dropped the charges, but not before Evelyn’s life had been trashed. ‘Just kill me,” the weeping 58-year- old said after a judge cleared him. Journalist Stuart Taylor, Jr., an early skeptic during the Duke farce, points out that Evelyn’s fate wasn’t entirely the media’s fault. Too often, law enforcement uses the press as a prosecutorial tool. Good reporters are taught to be skeptical. The prob- lem with judge-and-jury commenta- tors is that they aren’t trained as journalists at all. Even those who are can be lazy. The one-two punch of overzealous prosecutors and slack journalists ruined the life of Richard Jewell, the man falsely accused of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics bombing. Jewell, who died last year, should have been remembered as a hero. Instead his obituary was a reminder of a culture gone horribly wrong. é Outraged? Tell Michael Crowley about itat rd.com/crowley. 554 INSTINCTIVELY Goon. Planters NUT-rition Energy Mix provides a natural source of energy with a sweet and savory mix of almonds, honey roasted sesame sticks, peanuts, dork chocolate-covered soynuts, walnuts and pecans. On your mark, get set, enjoy! ©2008 Kraft Foods, nutnutrition.comPHOTOGRAPHED BY TODD LANGLEY DreamerS In the kitchen with her kids, Sheri Schmelzer got crafty—and lucky—with her Crocs BY MARGARET HEFFERNAN ome people look at a hole and see empty space. Others sce opportunity. That’s what Sheri Schmelzer spotted a few years ago when everyone—including her three children—started wearing Crocs, the colorful resin clogs dotted with holes. “My kids and I were clowning around, and my eldest daughter, Lexie, got the sewing kit out. I grabbed one of the Crocs, pulled some buttons, rhinestones, and fabric out of the kit, and stuck them in the holes. Lexie said, ‘Mom, I love that!” Sheri and Lexie, then seven, spent the rest of the day filling holes in the family's 12 pairs of Crocs. Every } look-alike shoe was suddenly unique. eg When her husband, Rich, a sea- Tey soned entrepreneur with two tech- hd nology start-ups under his belt, came RTUNCES home later that day, says Sheri, “I READER'S DIGEST Fd.com ox/oe 57could see the lightbulb go on over his head.” Crocs had sold millions of pairs of shoes; the couple figured they could create a business simply by riding the wave. Rich refused to let a decorated Croc leave their Boulder, Colorado, house until he’d filed a patent. But first they needed a name. Filling those holes wasn’t easy. It took six prototypes to get a Jibbit that fit every shoe size. “Rich and Ihad seen a movie where Meg Ryan says to Tom Hanks, ‘I’m such a flibbertigibbet!’ That became my nickname, so I called the busi- ness Jibbitz.” While Sheri designed, Rich strategized. They decided to sell the charms through a website, jibbitz.com Six months later, in February 2006, Sheri was doing so well that Rich left his business to work with her full- time. She was making hundreds of Jibbitz to order, by hand, by herself, in their basement. And filling those holes wasn’t as easy as it looked. The bigger the shoe, the bigger the holes; it took six prototypes before Sheri figured out how to make her charms one-size-fits-all. Rich soon found a way to get plastic Jibbitz manufactured in China, but Sheri hated giving up control. Already she was spending much of her time sending out 58 replacements or refunding money for broken Jibbitz. Late one night, Rich found her crying. “Do you think Microsoft had the perfect version the first time around?” he said. He persuaded her to hire help and move the operation out of their home. Someone at Crocs was bound to notice the charms— after all, the company was headquartered just ten miles down the road. Duke Hanson, one of Crocs’ founders, spotted Lexie and her Jibbitz at the local pool, handed her his business card, and said, “Have your mom call me.” Sheri and Rich met with Crocs execs, but no one suggested buying the company. Sheri was actually relieved because she wanted to see if she, not Crocs, could make it big. Biding her time allowed Sheri to develop over 300 designs and sign up 4,000 retail outlets. Having more products, more customers, and better distribution boosted the company’s value. In December 2006, Crocs bought Jibbitz for $20 million, with the Schmelzers staying on board. As president, Rich has been able to strike licensing deals. Spider-Man and Bugs Bunny have joined the collection of more than 3,000 Jibbitz. And Sheri is branching out into messenger bags and cell phone cases. The diversification turned out to be a good thing when Crocs stock fell sharply earlier this year. As popular READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/08as the shoes are, it’s not yet clear if they’re a short-term fad or a long- term business. Today Sheri si What did you learn while building the company? Patience. Asamomanda wife, | wanted everything done my way. | was unwilling tolet go of any part of it until itwas perfect. So I’ve had tolearnto slow down. After a fewyears, | finally get it: Nothing happens overnight. Did you have abusiness plan? No. Rich saysa business plan takes solongto develop and isso tedious and not fun that if you spend all your energy on that, there’s nothing left. You've lost your creative drive, Was it difficult having to hire people? We have an amazing crew, but itwas hard at first. wantedto be around the cor- ner listening to their calls to customers, making sure they were saying the right thing, But after doing that for about 48 hours, |had to let go. s in bright new digs, the chief design officer of a global business. Even she is amazed by how Getting Ahead with far you can go with one simple idea. “All I heard from family and friends was ‘Gee, there are holes right there! Do you ever wish you'd had formal training in design? There are times when | want to get on my laptopandsee my idea right away. ButI’ve gotall these talented designers around me, so I'd rather focus my energyon coming up with the next cool thing. What shoes are you wearing today? They're lace-up sandals by Crocs, but they don’thave holesin them! So decided to express myself onmy purse— I designed aleather tassel, braided with 12 grommets for Jibbitz. SHERI SCHMELZER Why didn’t I think of that?” Margaret Heffernan hasrun five businesses and is the author of How She Does It. Has money changed anything in your life? Now I can relaxabout paying forthe kids’ education. We didn’t go outand buynew cars or anew house. The money means security. And validation. Isthere anything you won’t turn into a Jibbit? We laugh at some of the suggestions we get. We've beenaskedto design Jibbitz with body parts and guns. |won’tdo that. What do you hope your kids will take away from this experience? That if there’s something. they want to do, to get up and do it.And!wantthem to know that work is some- thing to be passionate about. How do you balance work with your family? Isabout time management. Rich won't let me bring my computer home. Do you havea Dreamer we could profile? Write tous at dreamers@rd.com. 59People with COPD breathe better with SPIRIVA. If you have a history of smoking and breathing problems, it could be COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). COPD includes chronic bronchitis, emphysema or both. Ask your doctor about SPIRIVA, because it: a Is the only once-daily, inhaled maintenance prescription treatment for both forms of COPD 4 Significantly improves lung function by keeping airways open « Helps you breathe better for a full 24 hours 4 Is not a steroid SPIRIVA does not replace fast-acting inhalers for sudden symptoms. Do not swallow the SPIRIVA capsule. The most common side effect of SPIRIVA is dry mouth. Others include constipation and problems passing urine. Tell your doctor about your medicines, including eye drops, and illnesses like glaucoma, urinary and prostate problems. These may worsen with SPIRIVA. If you have vision changes, eye pain, your breathing suddenly worsens, you gel hives, or your throat or tongue swells, stop taking SPIRIVA and contact your doctor. For more information: 1.877.SPIRIVA or SPIRIVA.COM You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Please see brief summary of full Prescribing Information on reverse, & SPIRIVA HandiHaler’ Make a habit of breathing better AS (tiotropium bromide inhalation powder)SPIRIVA Handitaler (tiotropium bromide inhalation powder) Spiriva’ HandiHaler* opium bromide inhalation powder) Brief Summary of Prescribing Information FOR ORAL INHALATION ONLY DO NOT SWALLOW SPIRIVA CAPSULES INDICATIONS AND USAGE SPIRIVA HanchHaler ttropium bromide inhalation powde) is indicated for ‘ne long-term, once-daly, maintenance treatrent of bronchospasm assco'= sted with chron ebstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), including chronic ‘bronchitis and empyema. CONTRANDICATIONS SPIRIVA HandHaer ¢totropium bromide inhalation powder) is conta- Indicated inpatients witha story of hypersensitivity toatropine ots deriva tves, including ipratropium, orto any comporent ofthis product. WARNINGS SPIRIVA Handler (itopiur bromide inhelation powde) is tended as 8 once-daily maintanance teatment for COPD and isnot indicated forthe hia treatment of acute eptodes of bronchospasm, le, rescue therapy. mediate hypersensitivity reactions, Including angiosdema, may cour after administration of SPIRIVA, It such a reaction occurs, therapy with SPIRIVA should be stopped at once and altemative teatments should be ‘onsiered, Inhaled medicines, includirg SPIRIVA, may cause paradoxical broncho- spasm, Ifthis occur, tretinent with SPIRIVA should be stopped and other ‘reatmerts considered. PRECAUTIONS General ‘san anticholinergic drug, SPIRIVA tiotroptum bromide inhalation power) ‘may notentaly wersen symptom and signs associated with narrovw-angle laucoma, prostatic hyperpasia or Dadder-neck obstruction and should be Used with caution in patients with ary of these conditions. As a predominartly renaly excreted drug, patients with moderate to severe reral mparment (erathine clearance of <0 mUmin) ated wth SPIRIVA should be monitored closey’ (see CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY, Pharmacokinetics, Special Populations, Renaly-imosired Patents). Information for Pationts Fis important fr patients tounderstand how to correct administer SPINA ‘capsules using the HandiHdler inhalation device (ae Patient’ Instructions. {or Use), SPIRIVA capsules should only be acministeed via the HandiHaler device and the HandlFaler device should not be used fer administering othe medications. The contents of SPIRIVA capsules are for oral inhalation only and must not be swallowed. Capsules should alvays be stored in sealed pisters, Remove only one capsule Immediately befor use, cr its effectiveness may be reduced. ‘Additonal capauies that are exposed to aire, not intended for immedate ne) shoud be sieearded. Eye pan or discomfort, blured visin, visual halos or colored images in association with red eyes fom conjunctival congestion and comeal edena may be sans of acute narow-angle glaucoma. Should any of these sions fand symptoms develop, consulta ptysician mmediataly, Miote eye drops lone are not considered to be eflectve treatment. Care mus be taken not to alow the powder toenter int the eyes. tis ay ‘cause During of vsion and pup alton. SPIRIVA HandiHaler isa once-daly maintenarce bronchodilator and should rot be used for immediate reef of breathing problems, Le, a6 a rescue Imeceation Drug interactions: SPIRIVA has been used coxcomitanly with other drugs commonly used in COPD without inceases in adverse drug reactions. These Include short= acting and long-acting sympathomimetic (beta-agonsts) bronchodilator, mmethybxanthines, and oral an inhaled sterods, However, the co-administa- ‘ton of SPRIVA with other articholinegic-containing drugs (e.g, ratropium) tas: Not been studied and i therefore not recommended, Drug/Laboratory Test interactions None krown, Carcinogenesis, Mutagenesis, Impairment of Fertility No eviderce of tumorgenicty was dacerved a 104-week inhalation study in rats at iotopium doses up to 0.059 mg/kg/day, in a 83-neek inhalation study in female mice at doses up to 0.145 mg/kg/day, and in @ 101-meek inhalation study in male mice at doses up to 002 mgixa/day. These doses correspord to 25, 35, and 0.5 times the Recommended Human Daly Dose HOD) on a mgin® bass, respectively. These dose multiples. may be tverestimated doe to dfeuities in measuring deposted doses in ania Inhalation studies. Tlotropium bromige demonstrated no evidence of mutagenicity or clas ‘ageniaty in the folowing assays: the bacterial gene mutation assay, she \V79 Chinese hamster cell mutagenesis assay, the chromosomal aberration ‘says in human Iymphoeytes in vito and mouse mieranueleue fermaton in vivo, and the unscheduled DNA synthesis in primary rat hepatocytes vito assay. Ih rats, decreases inthe number of corpora Istea and the percentage of implants were noted at inhalation totoplum doses of 0.078 maka/day or ‘greater (aparoximately 25 tines the RHDD on a mg/né basis). No such feflects were observed at 0.009 mg/ko/day (approximately 4 times than the HOD on a mg/m basis). Tre ferlty index, Powever, was not affected at inhalation doses up to 1.689 mg/kg/day (approximately 760 times the RHDD ‘ona mg/n basis). These dose mules may be overestimated due to fulton in measuring deposited desea m anima inhaaten ates, Pregnancy Pregnancy Category C. No-evidence of strctural alierations was observed in ats and rabbits at inhalation totropium doses of up to 1.471 and 0.007 mg/kg/day, respec- thely. These doses conespond to approximately 660 and 6 times the ‘recommended human dally dose (RHDD) on a raj basis. Howeve in rats, {etal resorpion, ite oss, decreases in the numberof ine pups ai bith and the mean pup weighs, and a delay n pup sexual maturation were observed at inhalaten tiotopum doses of 20.078 mg/kg (approximately 25 tines the RHDD on a mgit? bask in cebbta, an retease In post implantation joss was coserved at an inhalation dose of 0.4 mg/kgiday (approximate {30 times the RHDD on a mg/m bass). Such effects were not observed Aatinhalaton doses of 0.009 and up to 0.088 mg/kg/day in rats ard rabbits, respectively. These doses corespond to approximatey 4 and 80 times the HDD on a mgim basis, respectively. These dose muitibles may be oler-estimsted due to difieuies in measuring depasted doses In animal inhalation stuckes, Trere are no adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnart women. 'SPIRIVA should be used during pregnancy only if the potental bene ust fies the poterial risk to the fetus. Use in Labor and Delivery ‘Tre safety and effectiveness of SPIRIVA has not been studied during labor ard dave. Nursing Mothers Glnical data trom nursing women exposed to tiotropium are not available. Based on lactating redert studies, tiotopium is excreted nto breast milk 5 net known whether tottopium is excreted in human rik, but because mary drugs are excreted h human milk ard given these findings in rats, caution should be exercised SPIRIVA is administered to a nursng woman Pediatric Use 'SPIRIVA HardiHale is appreved for use in the maintenance treatment ot bronchespasm associated With chrenie abstuctive pulmonary daca, incding chronic bronchitis ard emphysema The disease does net normaly, ‘occur in cildren. The safely and efectveness of SPIRIVA In pedatre patients have rot beon established, Geriatric Use Othe tota number of patierts who received SPIRIVA inthe 1-year clinical ‘tale, 426 were <65 years, 375 were 65-74 years and 105 were >75 years of ‘age, Within each age subgroup, there were no differences between the pro- Prion ot patents intn adverse events n the SPIFIVA Rotroplum DromG= inhalation powder and the comparator groups for most events. Dry mout increased with age n the SPIRIVA goup (diferences from placebo were 91096, 17.1%, and 16.2% in the aforementioned age subgroupe) A higher ‘frequency cf constipation and urinary tract Infectons with increasing age Was ‘observed inthe SPIRIVA group inthe placebo. controled studies. The df= lerces from placebo for constpation were 0%, 1.896, ard 7.8% for each of the age groups. The dlerences from pacebo for urinary rac infections were 06%, 4.69 and 4.596. No overal dlifecerces In flectveress. Were Cctuerved among these graups. Based on avalabe data, no adjustment of 'SPIRIVA dosage in gaviac patients is warranted. ADVERSE REACTIONS: (Othe 2.663 patents in the for 1-year and two 6-month controled clinical tale, 1,908 were treated wth GPIRIVA af the recommended dose of 10 meg force a day, Patents with narow angle glaucoma, or symptomatic prostate hypertropty or bladder outlet obstructon were excluded fom these tals. ‘The most commonly reported adverse drug reaction was dry mouth. Dry mouth wae Usually mid and often resolved during continued treatment. (Other reactons reperted in rdidual patients and consistent with possiols anticholinagie effects included constpation, increased heart rat, blured ‘sion, glaucoma, unary cffeuity, and urinary retention Feur mutcenter, 1-year, cortoled studies evaluated SPIRIVA in patents wth COPD, Table 1 shows aladverse events that occured with afequercy (12396 inthe SPIRVA group in the t-year placebo-contoled tals wher the rates in the SPIRVA group exceeded placebo by 2196. The frequency fof conespending events in the ipratrepium-contolled tials is included forToble 1 Adverse Experience incidence (%s Patients] in One-Year-GOPD Clinical Trials Body System (Event) Placebo-Controlled Tals Ipratropium Controlled Tals Placebo SPIRIVA Ipratropium In= arn Ins 173) Body as a Whole ‘Acciderts 13 in ‘Ghest Pain (non-spectic) 7 5 Edema, Dependent 5 Gastrointestinal System Disorders ‘Abdominal Pain 3 6 6 Gonstisation 2 1 4 Dry Moth 16 3 2 6 Dyspepsia 5 1 1 Vomiting 2 1 2 Musculoskeletal System yaa 4 3 4 2 Resistance Mechanism Disorders Infection Monitasis 2 3 Respiratory System (upper) Epistaxs 2 1 1 Pharyneltis z 7 2 Rhintis é 3 2 ‘Sinusitis i 8 3 2 Upper Respiratory Tract Intecton a a 43 35 ‘Skin and Appendage Disorders Rach 4 2 2 2 Urinary System Urinary Tract Infection 7 5 4 2 ‘thts, coughing, and influenza-like symptoms occured at arate ot 239% inthe SPIRIVA treatment goup, but were <1% in excess ofthe placebo gun. Other everts that occurred in the SPIRIVA group at & frequency of 1-39 In the placebo-contoled tials where the rates exceeded that inthe placebo group include: Body as @ Whole: alerge reaction, leg pain; Central and Peripheral Ner/ous System: dysphonia, paresthesia: Gastointestina! System Disorders: gastrointestinal disorder not otherwise specried (NOS), gastroesoptagea! reflux, stomatitis (reluding ulcerative stomats); Metabolic and Nutritional Disorders: hypercholesteolemia, hyperglycemia; Musculoskeletal System Disorders: skeletal pan; Cardiac Events: angina pectors (ncluding ‘aggravated angina pectors; Psychiatric Diserder: depression; Infections: herpes zoster, Respiratory System Disorder (Upper: lari; Vision Disorder ttaract. In adlten, among the adverse everts observed inthe clinical vials withan incidence of 1% were ara Hilaton, supravertculartachycarda, fngioedema, and urinary retention, Inthe 1-year tras the incidence of dy mouth, constipation, and urinary tract infection increased with age (see PRECAUTIONS, Geriatric Use). “wo muilzenter G-north, controled stuckes evaluated SPIRIVA Inpatients with COPD. The adverse ever and the Incidence aes were similar to those see Inthe 1-year contaled tna. The folowing adverse reactions hive been identied during worldwide post-approval use of SPIRIVA: application ste iit tion (glossitis, mouth ulceration, and pharyngolaryngeal pair, dizziness, dysphagia, epistax's, hoarseness, intestinal obstructon including ileus paralytic, Intraccular pressure increased, oal candilasis, palpitations, pruritus, tachyearda, throat iiation, and urticaria DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION SPIRIVA capsules must not be swallowed as the intended effects on the lungs will not be obtained. The contents of the capsules are for oral [nhalation only (s20 OVERDOSAGE section). The recommended dosage of SPIRIVA Hancliale (tlroplum bromide Inhalation powder fe the Inhalation ef the cartents of ane SPIAIVA capsule, once daly, withthe HarelHaler halation device (see Patient's Instructions for Uso. No dosage adjustment is required fer geriatric, henatically-impaied, or ronaly-Impaired patients. However, patlonts with modorate to severe renal impal- ment given SPIRIVA shoule be montored closely (see CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY, Pharmacoknetics, Special Populaticns ard PRECAUTIONS). HOW SUPPLIED The folowing packages are avaiable: carton containing 5 SPIRIVA capsules (1 unit dose bistor card) and ‘'Handitaler inhalation desice (NDC 0597-0075-75) carton containing 30 SPIRIVA capsules (@ unt-dose bister cards) and ‘ Handitaierinhabtion desiee (NDC 0597-0075-41) carton containing 30 SPIRIVA capsules @ unt-dose bister cards) and ‘'HandiHalerinhaation desice (NDC 0597-0075-47) sv.2s (12-07 ese20sa Reonly my, f)) Boehringer yawonenepinantpatendcte (CPA) puesto z Be carnuasiicn tat ias) opeomgpmey SST Pract ane ill Ingelheim sPuoodst Consright ©2008, Boehringer Ingotm Pharmaceuticals, Inc Alriaks reserve. (9/08) systear@Work ALL IN A DAY’S WORK was admiring a picture on my design client’s wall when she came up from behind and men- ¥ tioned, “That’s my mother and her dog.” “She's very attractive,” Tsaid. “She was more like a friend, really. I miss her.” “She's no longer alive?” Iasked. “No. But my mother is.” Sandra Boletchek nattorney I worked \with at a personal- injury law firm deeply resented the term ambu- lance chaser. “It’s not right to call us that,” he told me. “Besides, we usually get there before the ambu- lances do.” Brian Mayer i e heard every excuse from co-workers for missing a day of work. But this one actually sounded legit. “What's wrong?” I asked a woman who called in. “Are you sick?” “No,” she said. “I can’t find a cute pair of shoes to wear.” Joshua Donalds 64 “Mind if light up?” y co-worker Byron rubs me the wrong way. So when he decided to take a couple of extra days off over the July 4th weekend, Iwas only too eager to complain. “It is his wedding anniversary,” a colleague said in his defense. “That explains it,” I said. “His wife knew that the only way she'd ever see fireworks on their wedding night was to pick a day when she could leave the curtains open.” Darlene Williams READER'S DIGEST Fd.com USTRATED BY MARY NADLER hwHELP WANTED Private school has a position open for science teacher. Must be certified or certifiable. From The Daytona Beach News-Journal, submitted by Vilma Cook Ifyouneedareliable, contentious cleaning lady, call Josephine... From the (Prescott, Arizona) Willow Creek newsletter, submitted by Louise Baribeau Experienced cooks specializing in Italian cuisine & waitresses. From the (Berlin, Maryland) Bayside Gazette, submitted by R.B. he topic in the office break room was the high price of divorce. “I should’ve taken out a home improvement loan to pay for my at- torney,” said one disgusted woman. “Can you do that?” I wondered. “She got her bum husband out of the house, didn’t she?” said a friend. “T’d call that a home improvement.” Marti MeDaniel hen our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, “Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?” The third grader opined, “Because she’s read all our books?” scorr Muir Aree patient of mine, an frican American, was lying on the exam table as I removed several layers of bandages from her leg. The last layer was a roll of cotton, which needed to be removed slowly, one tuft at a time. “Well, this is a first,” she said. “What is?” I asked. “A white man picking my cotton.” Joseph Snodgrass ‘Typo’ Is Not a Blood Type Proofreading an instruction manual for a hospital ventilator, I did a dou- ble take when I came across this questionable troubleshooting tip: “If the problem persists, replace patient immediately.” Adrian Urias Linput a junior manager’s self- evaluation, which said in part, “I have been on the job for three months, and I finally feel as if I’ve accomplished something.” I made one mistake, however. I replaced the word job with John. Jane Fox for the funny true stories we print in Life, @Work, and Off Base. We pay $100 for jokes, quotes, and other material used in Laugh!, Quotes, or elsewhere in the magazine. Send ’em to us! Here’s how: IE Gotord.com/joke to submit original materi IB Mailfunnyitems clipped from other sources to: Humor, Reader’s Digest, Box 100, Pleasantville, New York 10572-0100. Pleaseinclude source, date, and page number plus your name, address, phonenumber, and e-mail. BH Rates are subject to change; for termsand details, visit rd.com. 65Takes a beating like a champ. But never a mark on it. GarageGuard is the heavy-duty, fast-drying, semi-gloss B23 garage floor finishing solution that goes on easily and is dry enough to walk on in 24 hours. With 23 colors to choose from and 2 variations of decorative flakes for added depth and character, GarageGuard is available in convenient one-gallon kits—the perfect amount for a, Wah Redes se ei one-car garage For more information or to order a color card, visit us on the Web at www.insl-x.com or give usa call at 1-800-225-5554,ILLUSTRATED BY CLIFF MOTT OffRase HUMOR IN UNIFORM y friend’s son, serving in TRUE ’TOON Special Forces overseas, amy OKAY.TIME AIM CALISTHENICS | RESERVE | | PS ry was wounded in action and evacu- ated to a US. military hospital in Germany. My friend rushed over to see him, arriving in record time, and was by his bedside when he groggily regained consciousness. His first words when he spotted her sitting there: “Oh, darn! I must have really fouled up. My mother’s here!” Karen Dietrich \, ff ot too long ago, my wife and I toured the Normandy beaches where the Allies went ashore on D-day. A history buff, I had read that U.S. forces at Omaha Beach landed in the wrong spot but still managed to drive the Germans back. As my wife and I tried to find Omaha, we first arrived at Sword and Gold beaches, where the British army landed in 1944. Spot- ting two elderly British veterans, Tasked them if they knew how to get to Omaha Beach. The old Tommies smiled, and one of them said, “Sixty years later and you Yanks still can’t find the right beach, can you?” Albert May 8 Your favorite new joke or one-liner » might be worth $$$. Go tord.com/joke or see page 65 for details. Truestory submitted by Pete Crosetti READERS DIGEST rd.com o7/o8 67) Ask@Laskas mn® MARIE LASKAS > Pve always gotten along with my neighbor. No more. Recently, he installed security cameras on his home. Fine—he can do what he wants. But they’re pointed toward my property. I have a young daughter and feel that our privacy is being invaded. I have repeat- edly asked him to point his cameras elsewhere, but I end up getting cursed at. What can I do? Dear On, Check with a lawyer about the legal recourse you may have for what seems to be an invasion of privacy. If the lawyer says you don’t have a good case, ask him about installing strong spotlights and aiming them right at those cameras. > My friend’s three-year-old is a brat. I've grown used to her grabbing and pushing other kids, but on the playground the other day, she slapped my young daughter when she wouldn't get off the swing. I'd stop the playdates, but what would Tsay to my friend? Troubled Dear Troubled, You'd say, “Hey, your kid slapped my kid!” Grabbing and pushing? Okay, three-year-olds do that stuff. Slap- ping? Now she’s crossed the line, Jeanne Marie Laskas is the author of Growing Girls (Bantam). 68 On View and her mother needs to know. Wouldn’t you want to know if your child was displaying seriously trou- blesome behavior? Be a friend and tell her. b> Our friends often comment that my husband and I have a solid marriage. After all, he’s thoughtful and once in a while even brings me flowers. But other than about bills, pets, and kids, the man just doesn’t talk—especially pillow talk. Some- times I feel like I live with a room- mate or a business partner. Going out to dinner together is painful. He eats in silence. He pays the check. ‘We go. Don’t I deserve more? Sound of One Hand Clapping Dear Hand, Start clapping, girlfriend. And snapping and swirling and singing. Hubby needs some spice in his life, and you're gonna have to shake on READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/o8 PHOTOGRAPHED BY FRANK VERONSKYthe chili pepper. Do something crazy. Come home with tickets for a weekend getaway. Or surprise him with a pair of cowboy boots, a surf- board, or a parachute jump. Your man needs to rediscover his inner child. Lead him there and enjoy the ride. > After years of trying, I am pregnant with my first child. My husband’s cousin was also having problems conceiving, She eventually became pregnant (her first too), but Dear Confused, Back way off, don’t take it person- ally, and let time heal the rift. Your husband’s cousin is going through a profound loss, compounded by plummeting hormones and intense frustration. You may have tempo- rarily become a symbol of that loss. All you can do for now is reassure her that you remain committed to being her friend. She may not respond, but she'll hear you. Mean- while, concentrate on your baby, and rejoice in your good news. sadly, she had a miscarriage. I've tried to reach out to her, but now at > Does this happen to you: You're family gatherings, she ignores me. I talking to friends and just as you’re feel terrible that I’m pregnant and coming to the point, someone inter- she’s not. Any advice? rupts? Well, it happens to me all the time. How do I get people to let me have my say? cu Confused Off in Mid... ee at taco N Coy are teas y, Dear Cut Off, Forget competing with them and work on your timing. Here’s how: Be silent while your “friends” blab on. Sooner or later they'll need to breathe, and that’s when you jump in. If anyone interrupts, lift your index finger as if to say “I’m not finished.” Important: Once you have the stage, don’t be a dullard—you may not get another chance for a while. ‘Should we respond with athank-youto an e-mail, to let the sender know it’s been received, or do we spare her from having to read anunnecessary note? Save the keystrokes, people. Listen, if you get ‘an e-mail from a depressed friend or onefrom your boss saying, “Youare brilliant, and I want to promote you to vice president!” you'll want to hit Reply. But if you've been going around and round with 12 colleagues hitting Reply All as you figure outwhat color Post-it notes to order, do not further congest cyberspace by thankingall 12 for coming up with mauve, then thanking them again when they all write back, “You're welcome.” Gott? Sure youdo. No reply necessary. Questions about manners, parents, partners, or office politics? Ask Jeanne Marie Laskas at rd.com/laskas. Sending gives us permission to edit and publish. 69STOP YOUR ITCHIN’ When sunscreen alone is not Quickly wash away the itch before Quickly relieve the itching. Try one enough! Try our clinically proven, _it has a chance to spread. Try our of ‘our sprays or cream. Trusted barrier skin cream highly effective scrub or soap. treatments for over 50 yearsBRUSsO PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANDREW iginals A Galaxy Apart Dr. Jekylland Mr. Hyde have nothing on Jennifer Donovan BY LENORE SKENAZY ennifer Donovan is sit- ting at her desk in the astronomy department at Columbia University in New York City. With the aid of a super-high-tech VLA radio tele- scope, the fifth-year PhD student is fixated on a blue-green com- puter screen showing stars that are hundreds of millions of light-years away, It’s a violent galaxy out there, with explosions and implosions creating a colorful array of swirling action in the dark heavens. “Did you ever see that movie with Jodie Foster, where she goes out with headphones and she’s listening to the intergalactic static as it comes through the satellite dishes?” asks the 27-year-old. “That's crap. Great oe Thisastronomer androller derby queen share the same mother, father, fiancé... READER'S DIGEST Fd.com ox/oe 7Live well. LiveActive. PRUE CLLR U RAL) her from whole grain wheat to help ive system. Plus, each serving has lin. Research suggests eating as Ge US CLL Ue Cm NC Cm PU CR CRC MUR Ca aCe ae rca It tastes great! * Visit LiveActiveFoods.com (©2008 Kraft Foodsmovie. But that part? Uh-uh. Any- way, that’s the telescope I use.” She picks up a knitting magazine, leafs through it quickly, and then tucks it in a drawer. It’s time to go. CUT TO:a former cigar factory in Queens, two hours later. Luna Impact is at the back of the pack—that’s where jammers start— but she’s ramming her way through like a raging bull. With a braid. Bam! Buh-bye, Daizy Chainz. Hip thrust! Tough cookies, Kandy Kakes. Zoom! Watch out, Beyonslay, here comes Luna—whoa! Impact! Luna slams into the wall, and an old mattress topples over. So much for fancy padding here where the Gotham Girls Roller Derby League practices. Soon Luna’s back on her feet, body leaning forward, arms tight at her sides, ready to fly around the track again. hey may call themselves Auntie Christ, Tankerbelle, Bluebonnet Plague, and even Surly Temple. But when they take off their skates, some 60 women from this league head off to jobs as commercial producers, graphic designers, accountants, and lawyers. And then there’s Luna, aka Jennifer Donovan. Black-and-white TVs and Frankie Avalon are long gone, but roller derby is back, and a new breed of woman is strapping on the gear and dishing out the blows. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 7/8 RB UE 3 HEALTH, THIS A EGS aa Se NUIT Mibcadstatcag Seriously, water is essential for a healthy digestive system and so is Lee re SC MUN ACen eg A RS ac OC RCs do more for your digestive system. Live well. LiveActive. Visit LiveActiveFoods.com *3y fiber is 12% of the Daily Value for fiber. Find Livedcive ee earn d Pern CaryIn its heyday in the ’50s and ’60s, the sport was staged—more of a spectacle. Donovan embodies the modern derby diva: empowered rather than exploited. “We're not pinups,” she insists, in her tight red shirt and black short shorts with checkered trim. “We're athletes.” “We're not pinups,” insists Donovan, in her tight shirt and short “We’re athletes.” So what's a nice scientist like Jennifer Donovan doing trading elbows with someone named Surly ‘Temple? It goes back to those exploding stars. It also goes back to when she was 12 years old. Back then, when she wore roller skates, she also wore chiffon and sequins. ‘That's because she was a competi- tive roller figure skater—think Michelle Kwan on four wheels. Falling in love with astronomy in college ended that career. Then two years ago, Donovan went to her first roller derby bout. Rowdy fans rooted for young women like her, women who wanted nothing to do with tutus. “[d never seen people so excited about roller skating,” she recalls. She contacted the team. A hun- dred women tried out for the league. Donovan and 1] others made it. “My first bout, we played—and beat—the reigning league champi- 74 ons, the Queens of Pain,” she says. “It was scary but wonderful!” Just like that, her inner demon was unleashed. Although only a second-year player, Donovan now occupies the prized position: jammer. As jammer, she’s charged with getting to the front of the pack any way she can, usually by whamming and slamming her way through four opposing players who are busy using their teammates as human battering rams. Once she’s accomplished that, she has to do it again and again. Each time she passes a blocker, her team gets a point. “She’s thorough and calculating,” says her friend and teammate Murder City Mandy. “And since she’s quiet all day, she brings that energy to the track.” Roller derby today is a do-it- yourself sport. Whenever the team goes off to a bout, they pick up their derby floor—a jigsaw of about 8,000 plastic squares—load it onto a truck, and reassemble it on-site. At the end of the match, they do it all in reverse. It's a long day, but the rewards? “Have you ever hit anyone?” asks Luna, her eyes shining. “You should put skates on. You have a bad day, you go to practice, and it’s just great.” Especially if you don’t mind seeing stars. shorts. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/084 a Sa —e Dr. Scholl’s® Pain Relief Orthotics. VIR he ees een een) Pog oC aS aCe eC keg iy ‘with Shock Guard” technology to absorb jarring impacts. They're clinically proven Ce eee es es ee eee Cer Ray Cee ee et eee ee ee ee enLaugh!:) IT’S THE BEST MEDICINE Mi: refuses to get out of bed. “I can’t go to school,” she wails. “The kids make fun of me, the teachers hate me, and I have way too much work!” “Megan, you have to go to school,” her mother says. “You're the principal.” ‘Submitted by Suzannah Woodward Lor down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken. “No,” he replies. “Iused to take my wife to all the games, but ever since she passed away, I’ve gone “at least yours looks something like you.” alone.” “Run! Run!” the manager screams. “Why don’t you invite a friend?” “Run?” says the horse. “If I could “T can’t. They're all at the funeral.” _ run, I'd be in the Kentucky Derby.” Submittedby Joel Branscome Submitted by Charles Leerhsen talking horse shows up at wo kids are on their way to Dodger Stadium and persuades Sunday school when one says the manager to let him try out for the team. Tn his first at bat, the horse rips the ball deep into right field—then just stands there. 76 to the other, “What do you think about this Satan stuff?” “Well, you remember Santa? This could turn out to be your dad too.” —submittedby Pat Ruzsbatzky READER'S DIGEST Fd.com ILLUSTRATED BY BILL & BOB THOMASTRICK QUESTIONS Q. Do they have the Fourth of July in England? A.Yes, but they don’t celebrate it. Q. How many months have 30 days? A. Allof them, except February. Submitted by Loren Wrigley Mf I were to die first, would you remarry?” the wife asks. “Well,” says the husband, “I’m in good health, so why not?” “Would she live in my house?” “It’s all paid up, so yes.” “Would she drive my car?” “Tt’s new, so yes.” “Would she use my golf clubs?” “No. She’s left-handed.” Submitted by Harold Hess he pastor decides to use one rich parishioner to set an example. “John,” he says, “you're a successful businessman; surely you could con- tribute more to the building fund.” John replies, “But my mother is in anursing home, my daughter just lost her job, and my son is starting college ... If I can say no to them, I can say no to you too.” Submitted by Louis Apostol guy finds a sheep wandering in his neighborhood and takes it to the police station. The desk sergeant says, “Why don’t you just take it to the zoo?” The next day, the sergeant spots the same guy walking down the street—with the sheep. “I thought I told you to take that sheep to the zoo,” the sergeant says. “I know what you told me,” the guy responds. “Yesterday I took him to the zoo. Today I’m taking him to the movi Submitted by Tamara Cummings na tour of an old European castle, a young American visi- tor becomes very nervous. Finally the elderly guide, noticing how jumpy she is, tries to reassure her. “Don’t worry,” he tells her. “I've never seen a ghost in all the time T’ve been here.” “And how long is that?” asks the tourist. “About 400 years.” Submitted by Michael Knigge Got a good joke? We want to hear it. Literally. Enter our Tell Usa Joke Contest and you couldwin big bucks. It’s easy: All you have to dois pick | up the phone and tell us your family- | friendly joke. Get rules and prize details at | rd.comjokeline. Contest ends | June 30, 2008. | Soplease hurry. We're waiting ! foryour call. yy Your favorite new joke or one-liner 2) might be worth $$$. Go to rd.com/joke or see page 65 for details. 7Advertisement iving in the Circle of Life Wary Peterson's decade-long journey behind the scenes of THE LION KING. I n order to make the entire African Serengeti come to life on stage, someone would have to have an incredible list of talents and skills. That someone is Mary Peterson. Mary has been an integral part of Director/Designer Julie Taymor’s vision of Disney's THE LION KING since it began development over a decade ago. As someone with an art and textiles background who'd worked in regional theatre and on Broadway in such capacities as a dyer, a knitter, a weaver, a cutter, a stitcher and tailor, Mary found herself looking for the next big challenge. She wanted to work on a show that would put all of her skills to use. She got even more than she was looking for; more than a job, she found her passion. “From the very beginning the creative development of the show was fascinating,” Mary remembers,“1'd get swept along with an idea and forget that I was sitting at a folding table in a chilly loft on 27th Street and believe for a moment that I was | on a vast dusty savannah, or standing at the foot of a temendous waterfall.” Far from being daunted by the enormous task of working on over 300 costumes — none of which can be purchased as is and all of which must be individually hand-dyed, beaded or painted — Mary found that THE LION KING was changing her life. “Something happened in those months at the 27th Street loft. After a year of development, design work, and rehearsals, on opening night I felt more like I owned a part of that show than Td ever felt before.” Since then Mary has traveled with THE LION KING all over the world, across Asia to Australia and Africa, and all over North America and Europe. The show still has a profound effect on her.“Cliché as it sounds, this has certainly changed my life, and * continues to bea life changing experience for people.” And watch- ing it all come together again, she’s still touched by how moving the shows.” believe that our work ethic, passion, and obvious drive to give everyone their best theatrical experience is infectious and inspi- rational, It remains one of the most fulfilling and emotionally accessible shows in modern musical theatre.” After more than a decade, traveling over five continents, some- one may ask why Mary continues to work on the show. She doesn’t hesitate for a second, “Just sit behind a six-year old at their first show, a jaded thirteen-year old, or a seventy-five-year old grand- parent and watch them as the show unfolds. You'll know the answer.” \2bisrey Photo ot Wallace Smith by Lois Groen“Disnep PRESENTS CELEBRATING 10 YEARS ON BROADWAYADVERTISEMENT Sophisticated Italian Herb & Cheese Crusted Chicken Rolls (Serves 8) 1 can (141 ounces] diced tomatoes, drained | 1. Preheat oven to 375°. Mix tomatoes, cheese and 1 cup shredded Italian cheese blend or Italian seasoning in medium bow. mozzarella cheese 2. Place about 2 TB of the tomato mixture in center Yatsp McCormick® Italian Seasoning of each piece of chicken, Roll up to enclose filling, 2 pounds thinly sliced boneless skinless Brush with oil. Coat with Crusting Blend. Place chicken breast halves chicken rolls, seam-side dow, in foil-lined shallow 2 TBoliveoil baking pan. Discard any remaining Crusting Blend 2h cup MeCormick® Italian Herb & Cheese 3. Bake 30 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Crusting Blend TheTaste ou Trust RO OEE eeeCreme ‘The Taste You Trust™ Cag cer With new, restaurant inspired MeCormick® Pak breaderu ., Whole wheat Panko breadcrumbs. We combine tunch © chien, ® with the finest herbs and spices to add a delicious 1 Pork or beef. So they're perfect for your menu athome. ki 0k for Crusting Blends in the spice Dawn Jackson Blatner, a spokeswoman for the |Kitchen? American Dietetic Association, offers this advice: | There’snoharm intry- | | | > Scan labels for the term cold-, slow-, or double- | ing these health food churned. It’s code for a manufacturing process that | staples, which claim evenly distributes a small amount of fat, giving lower- | t@ boost immunityand fat ice creams a rich, smooth texture. | Bulle thutele; says Tara > Look for ingredients you know; skim milk and | Gidus, RD. Beaware, sugar taste better than things you can’t pronounce. | though theemert: > Skip fat-free products, which often use chemical have 109 t0 150 calories a ; | aserving and deliver additives to make up for lost flavor. They’re also less | gotoéopercentofthe | ee i satisfying, so you may cat more. , | sto 65 grams of pro- > Avoid sorbitol and sucralose, which create | tein weneed each day. an artificially sweet taste. | That’s plenty—and may > Pickabold flavor | betoo much: Excess _«@ like mint, caramel, or | protein canleadtokid- | ~ mocha; you won’t miss the fat < as much. : ney problems. The pow- | a. “~ Janis NR « ~ Graham cither.“If you have | to hold your | nose to downit, | don’t bother,” | says Gidus. Deli turkey, eggs, and cheese areall good proteinsources. ders don’t taste great Bottom line Few of us, including vege- tariansand athletes, actually need protein powder. But adding ascoop to yogurt or a | smoothie canhelpyou | feelfulllonger. 7.6. READER'S DIGEST rd.com 07/080069-00 € z 3 2 3 ie Your motion sickness medicine shouldn't be one of them. Peete ne tn Ch eu ee ue en ee ee an In clinical studies, 5 out of 6 people reported no drowsiness with Transderm ScOp, the Travel Patch. Transderm Scop is a simple-to-use patch placed behind your ear to prevent motion sickness for up to three full days. A prescription is needed. Not for children or people with glaucoma, difficulty urinating, or an allergy to scopolamine or other belladonna alkaloids. Most common side effects ate dry mouth, drowsiness and blurred vision. Don't use alcohol, drive, operate dangerous machinery, TRANSDERM SCOP ee ues ee Caer eae eer as « If you are elderly, your physician should exercise care in prescribing Transderm Scop. The Travel Patel Please see patient product information on adjacent page. © .] © =] Re LumaInformation forthe Ptiont Transderm Scop® Generic Name: scopolamine, pronounced skoe-POL--meen ‘Transdermal Therapeutic System The Tansderm Sof syste helps to prevent fe nausee and voting of min sickness for upto 3 days is around adhesive patch that you lee behind your several hours before yu travel Italo helps to prevent the nausea and wining assonated vith te Us of anesthesia and ertain analgesics used during or atte many tybe of surge the pach i to be used in conjunction with scheduled supe. itis anced the evening before sumer For cesarean secton, te atch sapped one hour pir surgery ® minimis exposure of the unm chit the uy. Wear oly One path tar me, Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water immediately after handling the patch, so that any crug that might get on your hands wil notcome into contact with your eyes. Adin ato hes Taste cmp. be cared abating or cpa ary actin hie srg he ste ease te cg ight make you one ‘DO NOT USE TRANSDERM SCOP IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO SCOPOLAMINE OR TO OTHER BELLADONNA ALKALOIDS. TRANSDERM SCOP SHOULD NOT BE USED IN CHILOREN AND SHOULD BE USED WITH CAUTION IN THE ELDERLY. How the Transderm Scép System Works grup of ene ers deep irsie he ea hebs people keep the tetano, For some peopl the motion o ships, aliplanes tains, autonobies, ard buses increase the avy of hase nore bers. This nereaoad actly cauogs the dizi, naueaa,cnd voiirg of mot cicknas.Poopla may have ne, come, al of ese symtoms. Tansderm S.0p conti the rug scopolanine, which helps reuce te acti ofthe nerve fers in the ner eas When a ance Sp this placed onthe shir behind ane ofthe ers, scopolamine pesees through the skn and inthe bloocstream. One atch may be Fest in pacefor 3 days i eed thas heen sugested that Fans Sop, when used to relioe ruses anevemiting asockaed wih sical anesthe rags, ets. on the same Tere bers thatare ffeced when he products tken ‘or motion sickness. Precautions Before using Tanslerm Sep, be su 1 tlyour doctor your ‘Are regnantor nursing (opin tobecome pregnant) ‘Have (or rave ha) glaucoma (creased pressure in the eyeball or a predisostion tb glaucora, ‘= Have fo have had) any metabolic heat, ve kidney, rohersofous medcal condos ‘Have a history of sures o psychosis ‘© Have any obstucton ofthe stomach or intestine ‘+ Have any trouble urinating due to postataenargemert or any badder obsructon Have any alley or have had a reaction suchas skin rash or recess to any rug, especialy scopolamine, or chanical rod substance Any ofthese codtions coud make Transderm Soop unsuitable fr you. Also tl your chctr if you are tary any her medicines Inthe unlkely vet hat yu ‘patie pain in he eyeand reddened whites ofthe ee while earng the path, wich may be accompanied by widening ote pupand blued sion nave ‘he ptchimmedtely an consult your docto As indeed Delow under Side Effects widening ofthe pups and bred vison without gino ened ites ofthe ee is us.aly temporary and ot serious. Transderm Soop should nat be used in chen The safety of fs use n children has not been determined. Chiron andthe eldely ay be patil sense tobe elects of sogpdmine. Sain Dum fave been epote te pal sien several pallets Weathng a lined ‘ranscenmal sysems durrg a Magnetic Resorance imaging scan (MD. Because Tensderm Sctp contains aluminun, is reoammend to remove the syst before undergoing an MRL Side effects ‘The ost conon side eect exerence ty people us Transce Sop yess of he mouth. This soos in cout vo fds fe pele semen Side eects crosinass, which occur in les han one sh of he pel. Foray ouina of ision and ato vienna) ofthe puns may coat, especaly ithe ug on oer Fis and cores in cnt wth he ees. On inet occas, clsorettn, memory isurbances, zines. restessess, tallcratons, cots dficuly unating, sn rashes redness, tempor changes in heart such spans, cy, chy or edened whites ofthe es, and epi hae been epated hes effects do occur, remove he path and cal our coco. Since cosines, steno, and cnfsion may occur th ‘he us of scoprlamine be caret caning or eating any dangerous machinery especialy we you fst start using te ugsystem. action you plant arco in Undewater sports utils wearing he pach, Jou shoud cuss your doctor the potently csrientng effects of scaplaine. Eye Effects: Temporary bluring of tion and lation (ering) of he pupiismay ooo especialy the ug ison yur fingers or hands and comes ito contact vith the eyes. Dy ity, or reddened whites ofthe eye and ee pan have been reported infrequent: ntheunlikly went tat you expeiene pan the eyeand Tedened whites the ey, wich may be aocompanies by widening ofthe pi an tured vison, remove the path anc consult your ctr pron, Widaing ofthe puns and bred sion witha pan, of ecBened whites ofthe yes usualy temporary and not seus. ‘Drug Withdrawal Post-Removal Symptoms: Symotoms such as dizdness, nausea, vaiting, headache, and sturbanoes af equiv have been reported by soe people foling cssontruaton of use the Transderm Sop patch. These symatoms have occured most often in poe who hae used te patches fo Tore han 3 days, and fequenty donot appeer unl 24 hous or moee afer he patch nas been removed, These symptoms may be asscrated wit adaptation from 2 motion enironmert to a moton-feeesionmet ts recommended that you consult with your doco i these symptoms pers “Thiet presents a summary of ntormatin tout Taser Sop. you would ke moe ntti of yoU hae any estos, ask your doctor phamadist A mee fecal leaflets available, unten tx your dct. f you would ike to read te left, ask your pharmacst to show you a copy You may eed the help olyour doctor or hams to understand some ofthe infrrtion.Avalable by presctpon on Mit: ALZA Caporation Mourn View, C8 94043 Distituted by: Novartis Consumer Health, In. Parsany NJ C7054-0622 ©2008 420140 Printed inUSA. fe. 2/06) (ons 320088,KANTOR/STONE/GETTY IMAGES => Health > Season’s Pick: Ber at your fill of fresh ¥ 1 4 E reeabeaics, é blueberries, blackberries, and at their peak right now, and they’re heart healthy. Adults who ate about a cup of berries a day lowered their blood pressure and raised their HDL (good) choles- terol after eight weeks, according to anew study from Finland. Berries (fresh or frozen) are a highly concentrated source of polyphenols, disease- fighting antioxidants also found in red wine, grapes, chocolate, and nuts, says Paula Quatromoni, RD, an assistant professor of nutrition. at Boston University. She tosses handfuls in cereal, salads, smooth- ies, and pancakes. She also likes puréed berries spiked with onions, garlic, and spices served alongside poultry and meat. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/oe Feed Your Skin What you put inside your body eventually shows on the outside. More than 100 dermatologists . analyzed the skin of about 4,000 women ages 40 to 74. Then they looked had hit menopause. Antiaging diet uncovered: Cintake, mostly from foods like orange juice, citrus fruits, and toma- toes (as opposed to Cis key inthe formation of collagen, which repairs dam- age and keeps skin strongand elastic. > Linoleic acid is protective. Those who ate plenty of this nutrient had skin that was less dry and fragile. Known to help skin maintain moisture, it’s found in green leafy vegetables, nuts, and plant-based oils. > Excess carbohydrates and fat speed the aging of skin. ‘Women who consumed more carbs and fat had more wrinkles. at eating habits, weight, history of sun exposure, and whether the women secrets the doctors > Vitamin C counts. Womenwith higher supplements), had sig- nificantly fewer wrinkles, 1G. 91= Health Getting Tough with Lyme yme disease is on the rise, and so is the L controversy surrounding it. While about 20,000 cases are reported in this country each year, some experts say that many times that number may go undiagnosed, misdiagnosed, and undertreated. The basics of the Lyme war: > It’s tough to diagnose. Not all who are infected get a “bull’s-eye” rash, and the commonly used test is only about 50 percent accurate in early stages. > Noone agrees on treatment. More research needs to be done. While many people are cured after taking antibiotics for several weeks, fatigue, headaches, and muscle and joint pain can still linger for some. > Itcan become persistent. As many as 15 percent develop neurological problems that are misdiag- nosed as anything from multiple sclerosis to [gi Alzheimer’s. Evidence suggests that many of these patients respond to long-term intra- Nymph venous or higher-dose oral antibiotics, sometimes for a year or more, but it can be hard to find a doctor who will administer this treatment, as it's not standard. > Patients may need to push. In her book Beating Lyme, Constance Bean tells her own story of dealing with chronic Lyme disease and advises patients not to be afraid to ask for antibiotic treatment early, even if their doctor doubts it is Lyme. “If you could have been exposed to ticks,” she says, “consider Lyme disease first, not last.” The risks of short-term antibiotics for prevention are far fewer than the symptoms and treatment of persistent illness. Julie Bain 92 ‘Adult deer ticksare about apple-seed Deal with a tick Deer ticks are tinyand hard to spot. The longer the tick is attached, the greater the risk of Lyme. Get it out Use fine- tipped tweezers pressed into the skinaround the head and pull gently straight out. If you pull only on the body, the head will remain inside, wherethe saliva can cause infection. Don’t use alcohol, Vaseline, nail polish, ora match. Save it If the tick comes off, place it ina plastic bag and saveit forthe doctor. If the head remains, goto your doctor for removal. Treat it Askyour doc- tor about takinga week or more of the preven- tive antibiotic doxycy- cline, While there’s no consensus on howlong the antibiotic should be taken to avoid the dis- ease, arising number of experts think it warrants two tofour weeks of preventive medicine, AMACOM BOOKS READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/o8 GETTY macesee ener. rT en) ae NC ad PUTA eat BU ARI ESOL OU AMUN Vatu UaL eco LC CaS Ua Lag Cag Rf 1 ye~ RD SPECIAL REPORT el ee A (- ets flight’s RON mer ter tire =a Our insider’s guide explains why. eoeed totate cope with the hassles—and maybe even @hjoy your downtime. = :This Is Your Captain ... What one pilot would really like to say from the cockpit BY PATRICK SMITH aboard. Our flying time ‘rnoon, not counting ground s and holding patterns, will be urs and thirty minutes. e take off, I would like to ‘on behalf of this and every r the hassle you just endured at the security checkpoint. As is patently obvious to any reasonable person, the humiliating shoe removals, liquids ban, and pointy-object confis- cations do little to make us safer. Unfortunately, the government in- sists that security theater, and not ac- tual security, is in the nation’s best interest. If it makes you feel any bet- ter, our crew had to endure the same screening as the passengers. Never mind that the baggage loaders, clean- ers, caterers, and refuelers receive only occasional random screening. You can rest easy knowing that I do not have a pair of scissors or an over- size shampoo bottle anywhere in my carry-on luggage. Just a moment. 96 Okay, well, as expected, we've re- ceived word of aground stop. Our new estimated departure time is 90 min- utes from now, subject to change arbi- trarily, without warning. And while we’re waiting, let me explain that these sorts of delays (and it’s not your imagination—late arrivals and departures have doubled since 1995) result not only from our anti- quated air traffic control system but also from too many planes flying into and out of overcrowded airports. Pas- sengers demand frequency—you want lots of flights flying to lots of cities. But this can be self-defeating, because many of these flights will be late—in some cases, very late. At airports near major cities like New York and Wash- ington, D.C., the proliferation of small jets has added to the congestion. They make up nearly 50 percent of planes at some of our busiest airports yet carry only a fraction of overall passengers. This inefficient use of air and ground space is one reason we will be sitting here for the next hour and a half. Once we're airborne, flight atten- dants will be coming around with food and beverages for sale. I know many of you are irritated that an in-flight Patrick Smith is the author of salon.com’s “Ask the Pilot” column and a book of the same title, He also fies planes for a living.America’s Busiest Airports You'd think the New York terminals would’ve made the list. Not even close. Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Chicago/O’Hare International Dallas/Ft. Worth International Total takeoffs and landings in2007 Cosa TIE) Crean Los Angeles International Denver International Las Vegas/McCarran International uston/G. Bus! Hot intercontinent Improved Safety There hasn’t been alarge-scale crashinvolving a major carrier since November 2001 9 "97 99°01 °03 US. pi meal now costs $7—on top of the $25 you just paid for an extra checked bag. Un- fortunately, with oil prices skyrocket ing and jets requiring as much fuel as ever (a coast-to-coast flight takes 8,000 gallons), it’s impossible for us to provide luxurious service and rock- bottom fares at the same time. We know that most of you are mis- erable and that you long ago learned Cs *02/'04 |'06 | Inmilons: 466 SOURCES: EDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION (AIRPORTS), [NATIONAL TRANSPORTATION SAFETY BOARD 05 07 senger fatalities per 100 million boardings to despise every aspect of air travel. But try, if you can, not to take your frustra- tions out on other passengers or the crew. The overall surly vibe is unpleas- ant for us too. And ridiculous as this might sound, look on the bright side. Yes, there is a bright side: more choices and surprisingly reasonable fares. Domestically, you can now fly between almost any two airports in 7 More Travelers Than Ever By 2014, U.S. airports will need to handle 1 billion passengers per year. 701919dawaiian Aloha Southwest Delta ‘Skywest, the country with, at worst, a single stopover. Internationally, transoceanic routes have fragmented, allowing peo- ple to fy direct from smaller hubs in the United States to points in Europe, Asia, Latin America, and elsewhere. Nobody enjoys holding patterns or sitting on a tarmac, but in earlier days, the overall journey would have taken longer—and cost more. It’s true that fares have risen sharply of late, but if they seem especially pricey, that’s partly because they re- mained so cheap for so long, with many carriers selling tickets below cost. Fares in 2006 were averaging 12 percent lower than in 2000, despite a 150 percent rise in jet-fuel costs. 98 United North- American Comair. west Southeast Current fares cost about what they did in the 1980s. And let’s not forget that flying is much safer than it was in the past. Globally, there are twice as many planes carrying twice as many people as there were a quarter century ago. Although the raw total of crashes has risen, accidents are way down as a percentage of total flights. T am well aware that airlines have become pariahs of the postindustrial economy. But it’s rarely acknowledged that despite recurrent fiscal crises, major staffing and technology prob- lems, and constant criticism from the public, our carriers have managed to maintain a mostly reliable, affordable, and safe transportation system. Hang in there, and our crew will let you know if and when our plane might actually take off. In the meantime, those $7 sandwiches are actually pretty good. a Join an online discussion with Patrick Smith at rd.com/airtravel. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 07/8Pilots with Problems. ANS Shortly after 10a.m.on “Itused to be you'd February13,asGo! Airlines dooneinternational trip Flight1002madethe214- per week,” says John milehop from Honolulu Prater, president of the to Hilo, Hawaii, airtraffic Airline Pilots Association. controllerswerebecoming “Nowit’snot uncommon frantic. Getting no re- todosixofthoseamonth. sponse from the captain There is never time to and copilot, theybegan catch up.” Thissummer, yelling over the radioas the FAA is conveninga con- thes0-seat jet overshatthe _ ference of pilots, doctors, airport by 15milesat 2,000 —_andairline representatives feet. Finally, the pilots to discuss the fatigue fac- responded. The FAAis torand potential solutions. nowinvestigating whether Another issue: Pilots theyfell asleep. (Oh, and havelessexperiencethan theairline fired them.) they used to. “When got The episode broughtto _ hired with Continental in lighta hidden danger inthe January 1978, |had over More than cockpit: pilot fatigue. The 5,000hours.Atthispoint, 590,000 problem beganaftero/n, _theindustryishiringpilots pilots made whendemandforairtravel with 2g0to soohours,” th plungedand many pilots’ _saysPrater. Thisisparly ™MOre than salaries were cutby30per- _ because fewer pilotsare 61 million cent. Pilots are paid for beinghiredfromthemil- — takeoffs and every hour they fly, so tary, where historically la di last they've taken on more they gained thousands of naings flights to compensate. hours ofexperience.(The Yar. SOURCE FAR Financially squeezed air- military has fewer pilots linesarealso pressuring nowanddoesabetterjob 2020 tokeep up with de- pilotstoflymorehoursso __of retaining them.) But mand, according to Air Inc., theycanemployfewerof _withlowstartingsalaries _acompany that tracks pilot them. Under currentregu- (from $18,000ataregional _ hirings;this exceeds the lations, pilotsarepermit- _airlineto$4o,coowitha _—_ current capacity of flight ted to fly 100 hours per majorcarrier),it’stoughto schools. “Thejobseren’t month; manyarereaching _recruitanyonebut recent —_attractive anymore,” says thatnumber.“Youneedre- _flight-school grads. Juergen Haacker ofthe In- cuperating time, and now The bottomline: Apilot —_ ternational Air Transport peoplearepushingittothe shortagelooms.Theairline Association. “Beinga pilot limit? says MarkSeal,a industry willneedtohire _islike bus driving now.” pilot for United Airlines. 100,000 new pilots by SQuick Study Air Traffic Control BY GABRIEL SHERMAN The sky is one giant chessboard for air traffic controllers. In 314 control towers and navigation centers across the country, they hunker downin windowless rooms, staring at color-coded radar screens that show air- craft moving through thousands of square miles. Radio headsets crackle nonstop with pilots requesting course changes, asking for higher or lower altitudes,and, ona bad day, declaring emergencies. Each controller communicates with as many as 30 aircraft atatime, issuing commands that dictate each plane’s movement. Ahalf century ago, flying wasamuch simpleraffair, Pilots navigated by pointing their > Early 1900s planes where they wanted to go, andit was up tothe captain to steer clear of other aircraft in the sky. But with the surge in air travel following World War II, the Federal Aviation Administration stepped into regulate commercial flight paths around major airports,and the responsibility for navigation shifted from pilots to air traffic controllers. Remarkably, navigation technology has changed very littlein theso years since its debut. Despite flying modern planes stacked with computers, pilots lack the capability to “See” the trafficaround them and must rely on ground-based controllers for directions. The controllers,in turn, usea patchwork quilt of ground-based radar and radio transmitters to keep planesaway fromone another. The truth is, your car’s GPS system has more precision thanthe air traffic control technology in use tod: CORBIS 6 H) Bi AVAL OFFICERS) BETTMA\ (PLANE) UN After the Wright brothers? first poweredflightin1903, { of 1926 ushersinairlinereg- ulation, In 1929 the city of St. Louis hires Archie League, the country’s first airtraffic controller. He uses two signal flags to. | direct planes. Red means hold; black-and- white means go. aviation technology takes off. With the advent of air- mail in 1918, the number of flights (and concerns about in-air collisions) soars. In 1921 the Post Office creates asystem of rotating bea- cons, ortransmit- gp. ters, ontowers to guide pilots. The Air Commerce ActAnatomy of a Delay © Hold! Delayed on tarmac by air traffic control to. maintain proper distance betweenplanes. OFlight1463 from Newarkto Chicago isnow boarding. plane pushes back from gate andtaxis torunway. +65MINS. @ Plane on runway to refuel and wait © Buildup of weather. Airtrafficcontrol changes route while planes airborne. +45 MINS. © storm worsens. Plane diverted to Indianapolis and lands there. outstorm. | +90 Lia Plane takes off for Chicago. ve @. © Plane placed in . holding —— 5 purcccinindor’ Plane Oop aren. S nlytworunmays landsandis Satupieg, ___ +35MINS. © instead of three. ite = Planecircles, ene @puie = wattingto . taxis to gate. = . : Passengers & +20MINS. pene deplane. 2 DELAY: Scurce: Bob Richards 4HRS. author of Secrets from the Tower 15MINS. > 19305 >1940s >1950s and 1960s > Airlines begin putting | World War llbringsradar | Congress radios in planes; andthefirstwomentoair | createsthe radio transmitters traffic control. FAA to over- are installed at airports. Ground-to-air communication is now possible. W. L. Smith flew in rain and fog totest newradio = technology in 1929 (left). y seeairtraffic. With new computer systems that canpinpointa plane’s posi- tion, speed, and altitude, controllers cannowsee air trafficin 3-D. 101Quick Study Flash Points > The worst staffing crisis tohitaviationin a generation isnow plaguing the FAA, which employs 90 percent of the nation’s air traffic controllers. Thousands of controllers hiredto. replacethose fired during the 1981 strike are reaching retirement age (for this industry, it’s mandatory at 56) and leaving. > Contract negotiations have stalled between the FAAand the controllers’ union. The sides haven’t The Back-and-Forth ¢What you're doingis beenable to reach an agree- menton salaries and work conditions since 2006. > Inexperience abounds. ‘Twenty-five percent of today’s controllers are trainees; the number has doubled inthe past year. The remaining controllers are working longer hours: Overtime increased 50 percent from 2006 to 2007. > Some airports are understaffed tothe point that only one controller monitors aircraft at a given time. When Comair Flight 5191 took off from the wrong runway at Lexington, Kentucky's Blue Grass Air- port on August 27, 2006, one controller was on duty and hadn't seenthe pilot steer ontoa runway that was too short. Forty-seven people died when the plane overran therunway and crashed; critics say the accident could have been avoided ifasecond controller had been monitoring the plane’s ground movements. ¢Controllers are tired, putting together a jigsaw and they make mistakes. puzzle that’s moving They don’t want tobe at 1,000 miles per hour. put in a situation where Your decisions have to be they’re going to kill right all the time. people.? Scott Conde, Oakland Center Patrick Forrey, headofthe airtraffie control specialist National Air Traffic Controllers Association > 19905, After Congress passes the Airline Deregulation Act of 1978, fares drop and air traffic increases. This leads toa strike by the air traffic controllers’ union in 1981, On day three, President Reagan fires 11,000 strikers. The FAA hires new workers. AR TRAFFL a immaiteee | Color displays replace monochrome screens in the control towers.Forward Thinking > Better technology isin the works. The FAAis seeking $14 billion in funding from Congress to launch NextGen, a program that would replace ground-based technology with navigation satellites by 2020. (Similar systemsare already in use in Europe and Australia.) Usinga powerful GPS-like device (called Automatic Dependent Surveillance- Broadcast, or ADS-B) installed on all aircraft, pilots would be able to track every plane intheir airspace instead of waiting for con- trollers to warn of nearby traffic. The goal: to enable planesto fly closer together and more directly to their destinations. > Recruitment is now a priority. Last year the FAA hosted seven job fairs across the country to attract new controllers. Italso increased the number of colleges that train new controllers by nine, toa total of 23. > Training time is down. Withthe latest computer- simulator training pro- grams, controllers learn the necessary skills faster. Itused totake three to five years to earn full certification; nowit’stwo anda half. » Financial incentives are up. Money talks: The FAA is paying $24,000 bonuses to veteran air traffic controllers who stay in the industry, $20,000 to controllers with military experience, and $10,000 signing bonuses to new controllers. ¢Everyone except the FAA acknowledges there is aproblem with staffing, and the most experienced controllers are leaving. The agency is in denial. Rep. Jerry Costello (0-IN), head of the House aviation subcommittee OnSeptember 11, 2001, controllers can’t prevent planes from crash- ing in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania— but they do guide 4,500 planes Ped Te EU ret Cory os ¢We’ll have times when staffing will be a lot tighter than we’d like. I think the hiring is going very, very well.? Robert Sturgell, acting administrator of the FAA >2002 to the present By 2003, sales are back upand planesare go percent full. The number of passen- gers reaches a record high in 2007—the same year the number of fully certified controllers (11,140) hitsa 15-year low. carrying 350,000 passengers to safe landings (75 percent within the first hour). In the months afterward, air travel plummets and five airlines declare bankruptcy. 103,Flight Plan Smart steps for the best travel experience BY CAROL KAUFMANN Fly early in the day. At airports scheduled to capacity, any delay in the morning means there will be at least that much of a delay for every flight thereafter. @ Depart a day in advance for cru- cial trips, such as business meet- ing or a wedding. Check the delay statistic for your flight—how often that flight is more than 15 minutes late on a scale of 1to 9 (the lower the number, the more often it’s late)—before you book your tickets. Airlines are required by law to give you the stat if you ask for it; many post it on their — Air Rage Consumers filed 13,168 complaints in2007,up 58% from 2006. What’s the problem? Flights* Other “includescancellations, delays, ardmissed connections **includes fares and discrimination 104 > Refunds websites. If the number is 5 or below and time is of the essence, consider another flight. Sign up for the registered trav- eler program (tsa.gov/approach/ rt/travelersshtm) to take some of the pain out of the preflight experience. ‘Travelers who pass a voluntary back- ground check can use special lanes to whisk through security at nearly 20 U.S. airports, including in Denver, Oakland, Orlando, and San Francisco. Makea call. If you get to the gate and the airline says you've lost your seat, contact the Coalition for an Airline Passengers’ Bill of Rights at 877-359-3776. Kate Hanni, the group's founder, says stranded Customer service SOURCE DOT, ARTRAVEL Infographics reporting by Tepassengers have told her that seats were suddenly found for them when they called CAP- BOR from the airport and let airline personnel know they’d done so. If your flight is can- celed, the group’s volunteer staff will help you book hotels, research your flight status, offer alternative routes, help with car rental, and relay weather information. Understand your options. When you're stuck on the ground for hours after boarding, there's a reason. “If the airlines lock the doors, they don’t have to provide re- funds, credits, lodging, and _Welcome Arrivals. It’s inevitable that you'll get stuck in an airport somewhere, sometime, so why not relax while you're waiting? Get pampered At Detroit Metro Airport, you can geta facial, a massage, anda shower in McNamara terminal. Listen to Chopin Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport hasa pianist to serenade irritable would-be passengers. Tee off At Dallas/Ft. Worth International Airport, you can play 36 holes of golfon airport property—if you've got the time. Up your culture quotient Fort Lauderdale- Hollywood International Airport has spent millions on its world-class art collection. Sample the Chardonnay At Baltimore/ Washington International, a wine bar serves food expenses,” says Paul Hudson, executive director of the Aviation Consumer Ac- tion Project. You can circulate a peti- tion demanding to be let off the plane and take it to the cockpit. An airline can’t hold people against their will un- less there’s a safety reason, and the captain has the authority to let peo- ple off. If the situation worsens, call the police or a local TV or radio sta- tion from your cell phone. CAPBOR hotline volunteers can also put you in touch with the media. Don’t let it drop. If you have a truly terrible experience, write a reasonable letter afterward to the airline CEO, explaining what happened and asking for compensation. Refer to the contract of carriage listed on the airline’s website; it explains the com- pensation policies. It's up to the air- flights of wine during delays. line whether to remedy a passenger’s bad experience. If you used plastic to buy your ticket, your credit card com- pany can challenge the airline for vi- olating its contract with a customer. Join the fight to enact an Airline Passengers’ Bill of Rights, federal legislation that would mandate, among other things, that passengers be al- lowed to deplane when they’re held on the tarmac for more than three hours as well as require airlines to pro- vide delayed passengers with food, water, sanitary facilities, and medical attention. The major U.S. carriers are dead set against the bill, arguing that cockpit crews should make these calls. Decide who's right after you learn more at flyersrights.com. 7 105,TODD ENDRIS KNEW HOW, TO HANDLE HIMSELF IN THE WATER. STILLIT WAS ANIMAL INSTINCT THAT SAVED HIS LIFE. Shar By Cathy Freevisible in the bay. Endris paddled strenuously and caught a wave in, then headed out to find another. Resting on his board 75 yards from shore, he turned to watch his friend Brian Simpson glide under the curve of anear-perfect wave. Suddenly Endris was hit from below and catapulted 15 feet in the air. Landing headfirst in the water, he felt his pulse quicken. He knew only one thing could slam him with such force. Frantically paddling to the surface, he yanked at the surf- board, attached to his ankle by a leash, climbed on, and pointed it toward shore. But within seconds he was hit again. An enormous great white shark had him in its jaws, its teeth dug into his back. wilderness known erey Bay National Marine stretches from Marin th of San Francisco, to the bria coastline south of Big assing 5,322 square miles ne of the most diverse pro- tected ecosystems in the world, it in- cludes the Red Triangle, an area that earned its ghoulish nickname for its history of shark attacks, particularly in the period from late August through November, when great whites come to feed on young seals and sea lions. Almost every surfer who visits Cal- ifornia’s wild coastline has heard the horror stories: In 1981 a surfer was found just before Christmas south of Monterey, his body bearing bite marks from a great white; in 2004 an abalone diver was killed by a great white near 108 Fort Bragg; and in 2006 a 43-year-old surfer was dragged underwater by a great white off a beach in Marin County—and escaped without seri- ous injury when the shark spit him out. Just last April, a 66-year-old man died after being attacked by a great white while swimming far south of the Red Triangle, in waters north of San Diego. “It’s always in the back of your mind—you know they’re out there,” says Endris. Shark-human encounters make head- lines, but they're rare; fewer than 50 people were attacked in the Red Tri- angle between 1959 and 2007. Humans may be mistaken for prey, but some experts say that great whites just don’t care much what they eat. “Anybody who surfs or dives where seals and sea lions are prevalent could be asking for trouble,” says George Burgess, direc- tor of the International Shark Attack File in Gainesville, Florida, a group that tracks shark incidents worldwide. “You wouldn’t walk through a herd of antelope on the Serengeti, knowing you could be attacked by a lion.” Despite the warnings, Endris rou- tinely surfed in such waters. From the time he was a toddler in San Jose, he’d looked forward to weekend excursions to the beach with his parents and older sister, Julie. As soon as he was big enough to straddle a board, he took up surfing. More than once over the years, he'd been called out of the water when someone thought they'd seen a shark. “But it wasn’t something I dwelled on,” Endris says. “As a surfer, if you did that, you'd never go into the ocean.” READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/08' Teed dean one dris’ clamped down on Endris’s "back with three rows of razor-sharp teeth. nterey Bay that August morn- he great white dragged Endris the surface. Attempting to force ark to release him, the surfer ed it on the snout over and over. s like punching a Chevy Subur- ered with sandpaper,” he says. “I was getting nowhere.” The 16-foot shark had clamped down on his back with three rows of razor-sharp teeth. Endris felt no pain, only a tremendous pressure as the shark dipped him beneath the roiling water and shook him back and forth in its powerful jaws. ‘A few feet away, Joe Jansen, a 25- year-old college student from Marina, was relaxing on his board when he heard a loud splash. Glancing over his shoulder, he spotted a gray creature rising 12 feet out of the water with En- dris and a blue surfboard in its mouth. At first, Jansen thought the creature ‘was a whale, “the biggest thing I'd ever seen.” Then he heard Endris scream. “My immediate thought was to get the hell out of there,” he says. He paddled as fast as he could to- ward shore, looking back every few seconds. When he made eye contact with Endris, he paused. “Help me!” yelled Endris, disappearing beneath the water again. The shark now had the surfer by the right thigh and appeared to be trying to swallow his leg whole. ‘Another 20 feet beyond the chaos, Wes Williams, a 33-year-old Cambria bar owner, stared from his surfboard in disbelief. Six bottlenose dolphins were leaping in and out of the water, stirring up whitecaps. When Williams saw Endris surface, he believed the dolphins were attacking him. “He was shouting like he was being electro- cuted,” he says. “I thought, What did this guy do to piss off the dolphins?” Williams watched as the dolphin pod circled Endris, slapping their flukes in agitation. It was then that he saw the bright red ring of Endris’s blood staining the water. Witha burst of adrenaline, Endris thrust his head above the surface, gasping for air. The great white still had a hold on his upper thigh. “I fig- ured my leg was gone,” Endris says, “but I couldn’t think about that right then.” He used all his strength to kick the shark repeatedly in the face with his free leg. The great white shot out of the water, thrashing Endris like a wet towel. The surfer swung his fists, 109Brian Simpson thought, Who’s ain to call this : rénts and tallthem he’s dead? hoping he’d get lucky and hit an eye. “Let me go!” he shouted. “Get outta here! Somebody, help me!” He barely noticed the dolphins leap- ing over his head. Suddenly the shark released him. Fighting to stay afloat, Endris thought he saw the dolphins form a protective wall between him and the great white. Jansen had paddled only 15 oward shore in his panic when cided he couldn’t live with him- he didn’t go back. He entered ol of bloody water, half expect- be attacked. “Quick! Get on your rd!” he shouted to Endris. “C’mon, pal—it’s behind you. Let’s go!” Less than a minute had passed since the shark had taken its first bite. Endris pulled his board close and crawled onto it. His skin was shredded to the bone. Jansen was horrified but stayed calm. “You can do it,” he said. “There's asmall swell coming. Let's take it in.” Williams had also swum back to help; as soon as they reached the beach, they were joined by Simpson, who had been in shallow water when he saw his friend attacked. The three lifted Endris under his armpits and dragged him onto dry sand. 10 “That’s when the pain hit,” recalls Endris. He cried out as the men posi- tioned him facedown on a slope so that more blood would flow to his heart and head. While Endris’s blood spurted from the gashes in his wet suit, somebody dialed 911. Simpson tried to reassure his friend. “It’s okay, buddy. You're going to make it,” he said, though he feared Endris wouldn’t last until the paramedics got there. “I thought, Who's going to call this guy’s parents and tell them he’s dead?” As it happened, Simpson, an X-ray tech at Salinas Valley Memorial Hos- pital, had witnessed his share of trauma cases. Working quickly, he wound a six-foot surfboard leash tightly around Endris’s leg to help slow the bleeding. There wasn’t much he could do for the 40-inch gash on his friend’s back. A flap of skin was hanging from his body, exposing his spine and internal organs. When Endris craned his neck to see his injuries, Simpson and the others shielded his eyes. “His entire back was filleted,” says Jansen. “It was hard to look at. We just kept saying, ‘Take deep breaths. It’s not that bad. Hang on.” Endris, raised Catholic but an infre- READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/08quent churchgoer, closed his eyes and said a silent prayer over and over: Lord, Ineed you, now, It took ten minutes for a beach pa- trol crew, traversing the steep dunes in a four-wheel-drive pickup, to trans- port Endris to an ambulance. He was Joe Jansen (left) and Brian Simpson with Endris’s destroyed surfboard, at the spot where they pulled him onshore. helicoptered to a trauma center in Santa Clara, where surgeons spent six hours putting him back together. “He looked like an emery board,” 's Maria Allo, MD, who oversaw En- dris’s care. “We used a couple of gal- lons of saline to get the sand off hismuscles and skin.” The shark’s teeth had nearly punctured one of Endris’s lungs and had missed his aorta by two millimeters. He had lost half of his blood and required more than 500 stitches and 200 staples to close the deep gashes. “His muscles were completely sev- ered,” says Dr. Allo, “It was hard to tell what belonged to what. It was tedious work, like doing a jigsaw puzzle.” 2 During hi: days in the hospital, Endris, often in a painkiller-induced fog, thought about the ocean. When he was 12, his parents—Michael, owner of a company that distributes micro- processors, and Kathi, a labor and de- livery nurse—had signed him up for lessons at Davey Smith’s Surf Acad- emy in Santa Barbara. By age 16, he was an expert, teaching surf camp kids what he knew. Wes Williams wassurfing near Endris when he saw the shark‘shake him like arag doll—sixfeetin one direction, thenten in another” READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 7/08After high school, Endris, wanting to be close to the water, enrolled at California State University, Monterey Bay. He launched a business taking care of large saltwater aquari- ums owned by wealthy clients after he graduated. He enjoyed keeping his own hours— leaving time for daily surf runs and for hanging out with friends on weekends. Endris lived for the adrena- line rush that came with out- racing a roaring wave, the cold salty spray stinging his face as he barreled underneath the curving white water. “You're in perfect sync with an actual moving force of nature,” he says. “There's no other feeling that even comes close.” Endris replayed the attack in his mind as he recuperated; he wondered if he’d ever surf again. After his release from the hospital, he retreated to his par- ents’ San Jose home so his mother, who retired from nurs- ing in 2001, could care for him. “As a nurse, I’ve seena lot,” she says, “but never anything close to this.” She changed his bed- ding, helped clean his wounds, and managed his medication. “But mostly I was there for Dolphin Encounters Dolphins have ahistory of comingto the rescue of human beings. Their ability to help humans fight off sharks can be attributedin partto their skill at working with other dol- phins, according to Regina Asmutis-Silviaof the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society in Plymouth, Massachusetts. “They'll communi- cate with each other and coordinate their movements to rama shark with their long, bony snouts,” she says. Other examples of dolphininterventions: > In2004< lifeguard was swimming with his 15-year-old daughter in Whangarei, New Zealand, when a great white approached. A pod of seven dolphins surrounded them and circled protectively until the shark finally swam away. > ALos Angeles marine biologist wes in the Caribbeanin 2003 to study dolphins. One day, while swimming with ayoungfemale who'd lost apectoral fin ina shark attack, she spotted a tiger shark looming below. She burst into tears. That’s when the dolphin doveat the shark. “tt threwa popping sound in its direction to disorient it,” she says. > Adolphin dubbed Filippo by locals in Man- fredonia, Italy, helped rescue a 14-year-old boy drowning in the Adriatic Sea in 2000. The teen, who could not swim, fell off his father’s sailboat and was struggling to stay above water when Filippo swam underneath him and pushed himto the surface. The boy grabbed the dolphinand rode him to the edge of the boat, where his father pulled him to safety. emotional support,” she says. “I just loved him.” Once Endris was back in his Ma- rina apartment, he began having a re- curring nightmare: the great white shark plowing through the water, about to knock him off his board. At the moment of impact, he would wake in a sweat. “I would have this feeling of dread and panic in my ngthere are shark attack victims around every corner.” Endris took to focusing on the pos- itive from that August day. “A lot of things came together to pull me through,” he says. “The guys who rushed to help, the dolphins—they all saved my life.” He had heard about a common practice in Taiji, Japan, where dol- phins are herded into small coves and 4 Bey pee Beta ea CEU sane eC na slaughtered to be sold at fish mar- kets. Hoping to do his part to protect them, he joined several organizations dedicated to their preservation. “I tell my story now to anybody who will listen because I want people to know how truly remarkable dolphins are,” he says. “They’re as smart as humans, and I believe they’re capable of em- pathy. When I was being attacked that day, maybe they were trying to pro- tect their young or acting on instinct. But they drove the shark away. If they READER'S DIGEST Fd.com o7/o8 <<hadn’t, there’s no doubt in my mind it would have come back.” Endris also signed up to head an advisory committee in Monterey for the International Shark Attack Re- search Fund, a group of wildlife vet- erinarians and marine biologists who have teamed up to design an attack- prevention system. (A portable de- vice that uses electrical pulses to repel sharks was developed in 2002 by an Australian company, but it’s not cheap, costing about $650.) “Our idea is to create a compact, affordable system that will protect me and my friends,” says Endris, “with- out harming the sharks. They’ve been on earth millions of years—a whole lot longer than we have.” Six weeks after the attack, Endris stood at a mirror and checked out his scars. One snaked its way across his back and the other up and down his right leg. Even before he got a close look, he knew that he would return to the water. “I had to get on with it,” he says. “I love the ocean too much.” ‘That day, he climbed into his Toy- ota Tacoma and drove to Marina State Beach to try out a new surfboard. Though Joe Jansen now avoids the area, a handful of other surfers met Endris there. The water was murky with algae, but rays of October sun poked through the clouds as Endris paddled his board out to the same spot where the shark had slammed into him. He scanned the surface of the bay until he spotted a huge swell building be- hind him, curling with white foam. It was an ideal wave, smooth and cylin- drical. Jumping to his feet, Endris caught his balance and soared into the glassy tube. WE STAND CORRECTED Want to find real laughs in your newspaper? Skip the comics and turnto the corrections page. “The picture in Wednesday's issue was inadvertently identified as a taxi bandit. The gentlemanis actually the prime minister of Greece.” “alan Frank Keiser’s name was misspelled in Thursday's listing of marriage licenses. He will marry Liduya Demyanovna Savchenko.” “tt was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Apprecia- tion Day, It isactually Teacher Appreciation Day.” “1 originally wrote, ‘Woodrow Wilson’s wife grazed sheep onthe front lawn of the White House. I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word sheep.” From The Revenge of Angushed English (St. Martins Press) ty Richard Lederer nS“Don "t try’ this at home!” Te By Andy SimmonsPick the Right Equipment! Bringing a weapon to a crime causes more grief than it’s worth. But if you do decide to arm yourself, it ought to be with something that will actually scare someone. Earlier this year, 19-year-old Justin MacGilfrey allegedly ma entered a Daytona Beach, Florida, store, pointed his index finger—yes, his index finger!—at the clerk, cocked his thumb, and demanded all the money in the register. The clerk assumed it was a joke, But MacGilfrey, who has pleaded not guilty to robbery, was serious. After determining the finger wasn’t loaded, the clerk emerged from behind the register. ‘That’s when the finger-slinger hol- stered his digit and ran from the store. He was later arrested and, presum- ably, fingerprinted. Remember! The police don’t care for criminal types. So don’t initiate a relationship. Vv Phillip Williams was an unhappy consumer. So he stopped two Tampa, Florida, police officers, handed over his crack pipe, and asked if they wouldn’t mind testing the crack co- caine that he'd bought earlier, just to make sure it was the real deal. Good news! It was. Bad news! They arrested him. v A 17-year-old suspected arsonist approached a car in Lambertville, Michigan, intending to siphon gas from it. What he forgot to do was ask permission from the detective sitting in the front seat. The Alias The best criminals all have colorful aliases. Names like Jimmy Nostrils and Joe Bananas really liven up a crim- inal’s résumé. Look what happens if you don’t have one prepared, v When Sheboygan, Wis- consin, police pulled over a car for not having proper registration, a passenger did what many crim- inals do—he supplied the cops with an alias. Bad move. Turns out, that particular alias was wanted for ve- hicular homicide. V Steve Lent was pulled over in Peekskill, New York, for a traffic vi- olation. Since there was already an outstanding warrant for his arrest, police say, he passed himself off as his brother, Christopher. Too bad he didn’t remember there was an arrest warrant out for Christopher too. Remember! Whether your crime calls for aliases or an elaborate fraud, do your homework. v Alexander D, Smith walked into an Augusta, Georgia, bank and tried to open an account with a $1 million bill. "7Great idea—except there is no such thing as a $1 million bill. v Two machete- wielding men barged into a Sydney, Aus- tralia, bar demanding money. Because they didn’t know the club was hosting a bikers’ meeting, one ended up in the hospital, the other hog-tied with electrical wire. Make the Cops Work for a Living In general, broadcasting one’s where- abouts is a bad idea. Convicted of receiving stolen prop- erty, James Wombles, 37, had to wear an ankle bracelet as part of his parole. The bracelet came complete with a GPS monitoring system that let cops track his every move. Over the course of a few weeks, the Riverside, Ohio, man allegedly broke into six homes. ‘You know where this is going—just as the cops knew where Wombles was going. Following the signals from his bracelet, they tracked him to his car, where they found him sitting on the stolen booty. Remember! There are these people called lawyers. They help people who have been arrested. If you are ever ar- rested, get a lawyer, and let him or her do all the talking for you. Vv When Ellis Cleveland was a rested in Honolulu, a detective in- formed him he was suspected of robbing four banks. “Four?” re- sponded Cleveland, accord- ing to the detective’s affidavit. “I didn’t do four; T only robbed three banks.” Lie Low Publicity is great for star- lets, But criminals really should shun the spotlight. Robert Echeverria, 32, scammed. a Rialto, California, Del Taco by call- ing up and pretending he was a local CEO whose order had been botched. Echeverria was so pleased with the $15 in free eats, he and two friends shot a short movie called How to Scam Del Taco and posted it on YouTube. It proved popular, especially among cops, who watched it and promptly arrested the would-be executive. Remember! Try not to focus attention on yourself. v Consumers in northern Alabama became suspicious when they re- ceived recorded messages urging them to go to a website where they could “update” their bank account records. How did victims know it was just a “phishing” expedition? Their caller IDs read “This is a scam.” Have a Plan If the past few years have taught us any- thing, it’s this: No matter what venture you undertake, have an exit strategy. READER'S DIGEST Fd.com 7/08Receiving a report of a man banging ona door at 3:30 in the morning, po- lice responded to a mini-mart in Os- sining, New York. When officers arrived, they chased Blake Leak, 23, through the streets and down an em- bankment. It looked bleak for Leak, until both cops took a tumble. Seizing the opportunity, he sought refuge on the grounds of a large building. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a well-known local landmark, the Sing Sing maximum security prison, where he was nabbed by a guard. Remember! Make a plan, and don’t deviate from it. ¥ Scottish shoplifter Aron Morrison was picked up after pinch- ing a bottle of vodka from a liquor store. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to find Morrison, espe- cially since he'd left his name and phone number with the clerk after asking her out on a date. Beware of Witnesses Good criminals arrange it so no one is aware that a crime has taken place. Last year a German psychologist was accused of taking advantage of three of his patients. He had sex with one, named Kathrin; convinced an- other, Finja, to buy him some shoes and shirts; and conned the third, Leonie, into cleaning his house and paying for his vacations. This all came to light when a fourth patient, Monika, became suspicious and called the police. Why would she do that when the three victims hadn't? Be- cause the four are one person: Kathrin, Finja, and Leonie are Monika’s multi- ple personalities. When Monika con- fronted the psychologist, he refused to discuss the matter, saying it would violate therapist-client confidentiality, something he owed all his clients, in- cluding alter egos. Remember! Don't leave incriminating evidence at the crime scene. v A convenience- store robber in Des Moines, Towa, got away with $115 but left his coat. Inside: his W-2 tax form. v A Target store in Au- gusta, Georgia, agreed to take back a printer from a dissatisfied customer. Then the clerk noticed some property the customer had left in the machine: counterfeit bills. V After getting into an argument with a woman at a bus stop, Justin John Boudin of St. Paul, Minnesota, punched her in the face. He then at- tacked a Good Samaritan with a folder, which fell to the ground when Boudin fled. But cops tracked him down, thanks to what was inside that folder: his anger-management homework. i 19