High Priority
Over-Attention
Under-Attention
Medium/Low Priority
#1
Spirituality
Responsibility
Privacy
Health&Activity
#2
Interdependence
Humility
Achievement
Independence
#3
ConcernforOthers
ConcernforEnvironment
Creativity
#4
Belonging
ObjectiveAnalysis
FinancialProsperity
High Priority
SPIRITUALITY (15)
It is important to have spiritual beliefs that reflect being a part of something greater than myself.
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Peoplewhoholdthisbeliefseekinnerharmonyandsalvation,maydreamofaworldofpeaceandbeauty,are
honest,andareobedienttotheirspiritualbeliefs.Behavioralmanifestationsofthisvaluearereligiousactivities
suchasgoingtochurch,synagogue,temple,ormosque,worshippingormeditating,andvoicingbeliefs.Some
peoplewhodonotsubscribetoanyofthemajorreligionsoftheworldmayalsohaveahighlyprioritizedSpirituality
value.Thesepeoplemayfeelthattheyareconnectedtonatureorthecosmosinspiritualwaysandmayworship
throughmeditation,trekstoplaceswithnaturalbeauty,orbydevelopingconnectionswithotherhumanbeings.
Spiritualitydoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervalues.Conflictwithothersislikelyiftheirspiritualbeliefsare
devaluedorifactionscontrarytothosebeliefsoccur.Conflictmayalsooccurifthedemandsofotherliferoles
interferewithactingontheSpiritualityvalue.
INTERDEPENDENCE (15)
It is important to follow the expectations of my family, social group, team or organization.
Familyorgroupsecurityisimportanttopeoplewhoholdthisvalue.Theyarelikelytoperceivethemselvestobe
helpful,honest,loving,loyal,obedient,polite,andself-controlled.Behavioralexpressionsofthisvalueinclude
concernforfamilyorworkgroup,puttingtheneedsofthefamilyorgroupfirst,andadherencetofamilyorgroup
traditions.Stressoccurswhenpeoplewhoholdthisvaluebecometotallyboundbytraditionandareunableto
adapttochangesthatoccur.
InterdependencemayconflictwithIndependence.Interdependencerequiresconformitytotheexpectationsof
otherswhileIndependencedictatesthatoneactonhisorhervolition.PeoplewhovaluebothInterdependenceand
Independencemaystronglyconsidertheopinionsofothersbutchoosetodowhattheyfeelisrightforthemselves
inthelongrun.
Helping others
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearelikelytobelieveinequality,seethemselvesashelpful,honest,friendly,and
forgiving,maystriveforinnertranquilityandworldpeace,andmayhavelittleconcernfortheaccumulationof
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wealth.However,somepeoplewhoholdthisvaluealsovalueFinancialProsperity.Rolesinwhichtheycanheal,
teach,help,mentor,orotherwiseadvancethewelfareofothersarethemostsatisfyingtopeopleholdingthisvalue.
Thisvaluecanfacilitatepersonalandprofessionalrelationshipsbecauseofsensitivitytoothers.However,agreat
dealofinterpersonalfrustrationmayoccurwithotherswhoactinanuncaringorselfishmanner.Thisvaluecanbe
asourceofstressifonefeelsunabletohelpothersorifhelpisrejected.Over-attentiontothisvaluecanresultin
burnout,feelingoverlyresponsiblefortheproblemsofothers,andalossofequityinrelationships.
ConcernforOthersmaybecomplementarywithBelonging,butmayconflictwithIndependenceifoveremphasized.
Similarly,peoplewithhighlyprioritizedPrivacyandConcernforOthersvaluesmayexperienceconflictbecauseone
valuepullsthemtowardsolitaryactivitieswhiletheotherpushesthemtowardinteractionwithpeople.Conflictmay
occurifindividualswhohaveahighlyprioritizedConcernforOthersvaluefindthemselvesinroleswithpeoplewho
placematerialrewards(FinancialProsperity)aheadofthewelfareofpeople.
BELONGING (13)
It is important to be accepted by others and to feel included.
Connectednessandinclusioninworkandsocialgroupsarevalued.Inclusioncanbethebasisforpositiveselfevaluation,andacceptancemaybesoughtinavarietyofwaysincludingbeinghelpful,polite,and/orloyal.
Stresscanresultwhenothervaluesarecompromisedforthesakeofharmonyorhavingotherslikeyou.Being
assertiveordealingwithconfrontationcanalsobeasourceofstress.Transitionstonewenvironmentscanbehard
untilasenseofbelongingisfelt.Independence,PrivacyandAchievementmayconflictwithBelongingtothe
degreetheyinterferewithfeelingconnectedtoothers.Conflictmayoccurifthereislittleacceptanceorrecognition
givenwithinarole.Conflictmayalsooccurifotherrolesinterferewiththetimenecessarytodevelopmeaningful
relationships.
Over-Attention
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1Itmaybethattheenvironmentisdemandingustoactonthesevalues.Attimes,thisincongruenceisacceptableandwecanmanagethe
stresswell.Butongoingperiodsofactingonvaluesthatarelessimportantcancausestrainandleadtoburnoutorillness.Lookforopportunities
thatmayallowyoutoadjustyouractionstoactlessonthesevalues.ThearticleonStress&EmotionalManagementinStep5maybehelpfulin
managingsituationswheretheenvironmentisforcingthistypeofbehavior.
2Thesevaluesmayhavebeenofhighimportanceinthepastbutarestartingtoshiftforyou.Theymaybeshiftingtowardlessimportancein
yourlifebutyouractionsarestilloncruisecontrol.Byfocusingyourattentiononothervaluesthataregrowinginimportancecanhelpalignthe
valuesinthiscategorywithafrequencyofexpressionthatismorecongruentwithimportance.Thetimingofthesechangesisanimportant
considerationandevenifyourenvironmentdoesntcurrentlyallowformuchchange,developingaplanforthefuturecanbeahelpfulwaytocope
withcurrentstress.
3Theremaybeavalueinthiscategorythathasbeentooimportantandhasfelttoointense,causingmorestressthanfulfillment.Atsome
level,weknowthatwereactingonthisvaluetoomuch.Butitsemotionallydifficulttobackoff.Thisisanexampleofwhenavaluehasshifted
towardaneedstateandisoutofperspective.Thereasonitcausessomuchstressisthatweareover-expressingthisvalueatthecostofunderattendingtootherimportantvalues.Bycourageouslyfocusingonexpressingothervaluesandinternallychallengingthemyththatonevalue
sufficientlydefinesyoucanhelpputthisvalueinabetterperspective.Thisisadifficultshiftbecausethereareusuallypowerfullifeexperiences
thathaveshapedthisvalueintoaneed.Conscientiousattentiontoamorebalancedexpressionofvaluesandadditionalsupportmayfostera
healthierperspective.
RESPONSIBILITY (14)
It is important to be dependable and trustworthy.
Being reliable
Being trustworthy
Meeting my obligations
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvesasbeingresponsible,honest,helpful,logical,self-controlled,
andtrustworthy.Theyareviewedbyothersasreliableandareseenasthedependablepersonforimportanttasks.
Beingresponsibleisveryfulfillingifthereisalsoperceivedequityandfairnessintheircommitmentoftimeand
energy.Longperiodsofperceivedinequityorunfairnesscanresultinburnout.Accountabilityisimportantandcan
resultinholdingotherstohighstandards.Excusesfromotherscanbefrustrating.Becausebeingtrustworthyis
important,trustiscriticalandbrokentrustcanbefeltdeeply.
StressoccurswhenpeoplewhovalueResponsibilitybecometooother-orientedatthesacrificeofself-careand
maintenance(responsibilitytooneself).Stressisalsoexperiencedwhenroleoverloadoccurstothepointthatit
precludesorreducestheopportunitytoactinadependablefashion.ApersonwhoprizesbothCreativityand
Responsibilitymayhaveaconflictbetweenthedesiretoinnovateandthemotivetobereliable.
HUMILITY (8)
It is important to be humble and modest about my accomplishments.
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearemodestandmaybeself-effacing.Theytendtobeuncomfortablewhentheir
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accomplishmentsarehighlightedandmayattempttopointtotheaccomplishmentofotherstodeflectattentionfrom
themselves.Also,theyarelikelytobeobedient,polite,loyal,andself-controlled.
HumilitymayconflictwithAchievement,particularlyiftheresultisindividualachievementthatdrawsattentiontothe
person.StressislikelyifthepersonwhoholdsahighlyprioritizedHumilityvalueisplacedinapositionofhavingto
promoteherorhisaccomplishments
Under-Attention
PRIVACY (12)
It is important to have time alone.
Peoplewhoholdthisvalueseekpersonalfreedom.Behavioralmanifestationsofthisvalueincludereading,taking
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longdrivesorwalks,listeningtomusic,andothersolitaryactivities.Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearenotlikelytosee
themselvesasentrepreneurial.StressoccursforpeoplewhovaluePrivacywhentheyareforced,becauseofrole
demands,tospendextensiveamountsoftimewithpeopleattheexpenseoftimealone.Privacyiscompatiblewith
IndependencebutmayconflictwithInterdependence.
ACHIEVEMENT (11)
It is important to challenge myself and to work hard to improve.
Improving my performance
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayviewthemselvesasambitiousandcapable,andtheymayenjoyactivitiesthat
requiretakingrisks.Thisvaluecanserveasasourceofmotivationtoimproveanddoyourbest.Satisfactionofthis
valuemaycomeinmanywaysincludingtheaccumulationofknowledge,helpingothers,performingphysicalfeats,
settingchallengingpersonalgoalsandworkingtoachievethem,workingtoimproveperformance,puttingforth
extraefforttoaccomplishagoal,andthroughsuccessinbusiness.
PeoplewhovalueAchievementexperiencestresswhentheyareunabletoactontheirachievement-orientedgoals,
whentheyfeelunchallenged,orwhentheybecometoofocusedonresultsoroutcomeatthesacrificeof
satisfactionabouttheirperformanceoreffort.BelongingmayconflictwithAchievementwhenacceptancebyapeer
groupisdependentuponmaintainingrelativelylowlevelsofperformance.Conflictmayoccurbetweenpersons
whohaveahighlyprioritizedAchievementvalueandpeoplewhoacttolimittheiraccomplishmentsordonotshare
theirAchievementvalue.Conflictcanalsooccurwhenthedemandsofoneormoreotherrolesprecludethepursuit
ofcherished,achievement-orientedgoals.
Preserving nature
Protectingthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironmentisofutmostimportantforpeoplewhohighlyprioritizethisvalue.
Theymayalsoholdotheraltruisticbeliefssuchasequalityandworldpeace.Peoplewhoholdthisvaluetypically
actonitbyengagingingoodenvironmentalpractices,readingabouttheenvironment,andengaginginactivities
suchasfundraisersfororganizationsthatadvocateforenvironmentalimprovement.
Peopleholdingthisvalueexperiencestresswhentheyperceivethatthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironmentisbeing
permanentlydamaged,andwhentheyarenotadvancingtheirgoalofimprovingtheenvironment.Conflictislikely
betweenpeopleholdingthisvalueandpeoplewhoareeitherapatheticabouttheenvironmentorwhodeliberately
engageinactsthatharmordetractfromthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironment.Conflictmayalsooccurifpeople
whohavedeep-seatedconcernsabouttheenvironmentbecomeengagedinroles(e.g.workorleisure)that
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precludeorrestrictthemfromactingonthisvalue.
Being analytical
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvestobelogical,intelligent,analytical,critical,curious,and
precise.Theymayperceivethemselvestohaveanalyticabilityandengageinscientificoranalyticalactivities.They
mayenjoylearningaboutscienceortechnology,workingwithcomputersorothertechnicalequipment,orsimply
talkingaboutscienceortechnology.Stressoccursforthesepeoplewhentheyhavetofunctioninnon-orderly,nonanalyticalways.ObjectiveAnalysistypicallydoesnotconflictwithothervalues.However,stressmayoccurifa
personwhoprizesObjectiveAnalysisisforcedintorolesthatrequireleadershipandpersuasiveactivities.
Medium/Low Priority
Being athletic
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Peoplewhoholdthisvaluetendtolikeclean,healthyenvironments,enjoyexcitingactivities,andarecommittedto
theirhealthandwell-being.Theymayseethisvalueasapowerfulwaytomanagethestressintheirlives.Overattentiontothisvaluecanresultinbeingoverlycriticaloftheirappearanceorleveloffitness,andcanresultinan
unhealthyformofcopingifnotmanagedappropriately.Stressmaybefeltwhenthedemandsofothersrestrictthe
timedevotedtobeingphysicallyactive.StressmayalsobeexperiencedwhenpeoplewhovalueHealth&Activity
seeothersengageinunhealthyactivities.HealthandActivitycanfacilitatetheattainmentofothervaluesanddoes
notnecessarilyconflictwithothervaluesunlessitisoveremphasized.
INDEPENDENCE (11)
It is important to have a sense of autonomy with my decisions and actions.
Being independent
Giving my opinion
Peoplewiththisvaluestriveforpersonalfreedomandautonomousactionofspeechandmovement.Theymay
perceivethemselvestobeambitious,capable,pleasureseeking,andmayliketoberegardedbyothersas
independent.PeoplewhovalueIndependencemayaccepttemporarypositionsofrestrictedautonomybutitwillbe
importantforthemtoseeaclearfutureopportunityforincreasedautonomy.Itisalsoimportanttofeelasenseof
equityinthattheyarereceivingafairrewardforwhattheyarecontributing.Stressoccursforpeopleholdingthis
valuewhentheiractionsarelimitedinsomefashion.Whenthisvalueisoveremphasized,otherpeopleare
disregardedinthedecision-makingprocessand/ortheindividualoverreactsemotionallytoattempts,realor
imagined,atrestrictingtheiractivities.
IndependencemayconflictwithInterdependenceandBelongingbecausebothofthesevaluesrequirefairlyhigh
degreesofconformityforsatisfaction.ConflictmayoccurwhenpeoplewhovalueIndependenceareinvolvedwith
peoplewhostronglyvalueBelongingand/orInterdependence.
CREATIVITY (9)
It is important to have new ideas, create new things or be creatively expressive.
Being creative
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearelikelytoperceivethemselvesasimaginative,intelligent,expressive,capable,and
broad-minded.Theyarealsolikelytobeconcernedaboutbeautyintheworld,althoughthismaynotberestricted
tonature.
Creativitycancomplementmanyothervaluessinceitfacilitateslookingatthingsinnewanddifferentways.Stress
canoccurwhenCreativityisoveremphasizedattheexpenseoforderlinessthatmaybenecessaryfortheproper
managementoftheirlivesandrelationships.Theyarelikelytoexperiencestresswhentheirabilitytousetheir
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imaginationtosolveproblemsisrestricted(e.g.iftheyworkinaroutine,repetitivejob).
ConflictmayoccurwhenpeoplehaveahighlyprioritizedCreativityvalueaswellasahighlyprioritized
Responsibilityvalue.Dependability,whichisthehallmarkofapersonwithaResponsibilityvalue,maymeanbeing
orderlyandpredictable,responsesthatmaynotbehighlycompatiblewithcreativeexpression.Conflictisalsolikely
toresultifthepersonwhoprizesCreativityisexpectedbyotherstofollowaroutine.
Making money
Being wealthy
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvestobeambitious,capable,intelligent,andlogical.Theystrive
toaccumulatewealthandliveacomfortablelife.Thisvaluecancomplementorfacilitatetheattainmentofother
importantvalues,suchasIndependence.StressoccursforpeoplewhoholdFinancialProsperityasahighly
prioritizedvaluewhentheyareunabletoaccumulatewealthataratethattheydeemappropriate,orwheneverthey
experiencelossofwealth.Stresscanbefeltwhenthereisperceivedinequityintheamountoffinancialreturnone
receivesfortheamountofenergyexpended.
FinancialProsperitydoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervaluesunlessitisoveremphasized.Over-attentionto
thisvaluemayresultinplacingtoomuchimportanceonmaterialthingsatthesacrificeofrelationships,aswellas
spiritual,emotional,andphysicalwell-being.
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Work/Academics
Interdependence(15)
Spirituality(15)
Responsibility(14)
Belonging(13)
ConcernforOthers(13)
Health&Activity(12)
Achievement(11)
Independence(11)
ObjectiveAnalysis(11)
Humility(8)
FinancialProsperity(7)
Relationships
Interdependence(15)
Spirituality(15)
Responsibility(14)
Belonging(13)
ConcernforOthers(13)
Health&Activity(12)
Achievement(11)
Independence(11)
ObjectiveAnalysis(11)
Creativity(9)
FinancialProsperity(7)
Leisure/CommunityActivities
Spirituality(15)
Responsibility(14)
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Belonging(13)
ConcernforOthers(13)
Health&Activity(12)
Privacy(12)
ConcernforEnvironment(11)
Creativity(9)
Humility(8)
Other
LimitedorNoExpression
We express our values through our life roles . Since it is rare that one
life role satisfies all of our values, we often devote time and energy
to several roles. From your results, reflect on the following:
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Forexample,itmaybeimportantto
Forinstance,yourleisurerolemaybethe
Whatrole(s)willbethebestformof
expressBelonginginyourwork,leisure
onlytimeyouexpressyourHealth&
expressionofthatvalue?Howwillan
andrelationshipsroles.Theseusually
Activityvalue.Itisessentialthatyouallow
increaseintimetowardthatvalueaffect
reflectvaluesthatarecentraltoyour
enoughtimeforthatrolesinceitisthe
yourtimeandenergyinotherroles?
identityandrequiremultipleformsof
onlytimethatvaluecanbeexpressed.
expressioninordertobefulfilled.
Use these results to gain a better understanding of how stress is manifested in your life.
Therearetwoformsofrole-relatedstress,inter-rolestressandintra-rolestress.Inter-rolestressisthestressyoufeelbetweenroleswhenthe
timeandenergyyouspendinoneroleisinterferingwiththetimeyoucandevotetootherimportantroleswhereothervaluesareexpressed.Intrarolestressisthestressyoufeelwithinarolewhenthevaluesyouwantfulfilledinacertainrolearenotbeingrewarded.Thestrategies
discussedinthesupplementon"Stress&EmotionalManagement"inStep5canhelpyoumanagetheseformsofstress.
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STRATEGY 1
Oneofthecornerstonesofhealthyself-esteemisintegrity,behavingcongruentlywiththevaluesthatareimportanttoyou.
Peoplewithhighself-esteemroutinelymonitorhowwelltheirbehavioralignswithwhat'simportanttothemanddevelop
actionstepstobringbehaviorandvaluesclosertogether.InSteps1-3,youclarifiedyourcurrentvaluesandmade
adjustmentsforthenearfuture.Nowyouneedtodevelopspecificactionstepsorgoalsfortheseadjustments.Keepthem
realisticandtotallywithinyourcontrol.
Whatspecificactionswouldprovethatyouarebehavingaccordingtoyourvalues?Forexample,ifyoudecidedyou
wantedtoincreasetimeandenergyinyourSpiritualityvalue,youmaychoosetocommitaspecificamountoftimeeach
dayformeditation,prayer,reflectionoranaturewalk.Yourvalues-basedgoalsshouldbelessaboutoutcomes,whichyou
can'tcontrol,andmoreaboutactionsthatyoucancompletelycontrol.
Youshouldhaveonlyafewactionsteps.Besensitivetowhenyoufeelthatyouractionstepsareexceedingyouravailable
timeandenergy,orwhatyourenvironmentwillallow.Assumeyouarealready100percentcommitted,soifyouaregoing
todevotemoreenergytoonevalue,youmustreducetimeandenergyforanothervalue.
Clarifyingandtryingtofollowtheseactionstepsincreasesoursenseofintegrityand,inturn,increasesoursenseofselfesteemandresilience.
STRATEGY 2
BalanceWITHINValues.Tofeelasenseoffulfillment,youmustdevotetimeandenergytoimportantvalues-uptoa
point.Yourvaluesarelikeadouble-edgedsword.Theyareaprimarydeterminantoflifesatisfaction,buttheyarealsoa
majorsourceofstress.Ifyouover-expressavalue,youwillfeelthecostorstressassociatedwithitbecauseitisbecoming
apsychologicalneed-a"haveto,"orperhapsacompulsion-attheexpenseofotherimportantvalues.
Oneofthemostimportantfactorsinfosteringsuccess(asdefinedbyfulfillment,productivity,andresilience)istocommitto
abalancedexpressionofeachvalue.Inthefirstsectionofthisreport,youfamiliarizedyourselfwiththedescriptionofeach
valueandlearnedhowyourvaluescancausebothfulfillmentandstress.Usethisinformationtolearnwhenexpressing
yourimportantvaluesmovesyoufromfulfillmenttostress.Acommitmenttobalancedexpressionofyourvaluesresultsin
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morefulfillment.
ManagingtheInteractionBETWEENValues.Reviewtheprimaryvaluesthatfrequentlyguideyourbehavior.Youwill
noticethatsomeofthosevaluesarecomplementary-theexpressionofonehelpstheexpressionofanother.Weusually
experiencethisinteractionaseitheramplifiedfulfillmentorsynergybecauseoneactioncanfulfillmorethanonevalue.For
example,thesensitivesupportyoumayprovideafriendinneedcanfulfillbothConcernforOthersandBelonging.
However,youmaynoticethatthereareconflictingvaluesamongyourtopvalues,suchasIndependenceandBelonging,
orIndependenceandInterdependence.Youwillfeelthisconflictintheformofstressortension.Decisionmakingcanbe
stressfulwhenoneopportunityfulfillsonevaluewhileanotheropportunityfulfillstheconflictingvalue.Whenyoumakea
decisionthatfulfillsonevaluebutconflictswithanother,you'llfeelacertainambivalenceorperceived"wrongness"
associatedwithsacrificinganimportantvalue.Notacceptingormanagingthisambivalencecanleadtochronicindecision.
Toeffectivelymanageconflictingvalues,youmustrespectwhythesevaluesareimportanttoyouandstrivetoexpress
theminamannerthatcorrespondswiththeirrankings.Yourdecisionsandactionsshouldreflectbalancedexpression
insteadofanall-or-nothingapproach.Thisbalanceisanalogoustoseeingtimeandenergyasweightsthatyoucarefully
addtobothsidesofascaletokeeptheminbalance,asopposedtoaseesawapproach,inwhichyoualternatebetween
completeexpressionofonevalueatthesacrificeoftheother.Forexample,ifBelongingandIndependencearetwo
importantvalues,findseparateactivitiesthatwillcurrentlyfulfillbothvalues.Don'tdevoteexcessivetimetoBelongingat
thesacrificeofIndependence,thenshiftwhenyoufeeltheurgentneedtocompletelyreversetheexpression.Balanced
expressionhelpsyougainanappreciationandemotionaltoleranceforthehealthytensionthatexistsbetweenyour
conflictingvalues,ratherthanperceivingthistensionasaproblem.Thiscannotbedonepassively,butwithactive
management,youcanbecomeveryskilledatmaintainingafulfillingbalancebetweenconflictingvalues.
STRATEGY 3
Tomakethebestdecisions,committogivingyourselfa24-hourpausebeforeyousay"yes"toanyopportunity.When
opportunitiesarisethattouchourvalues,wearevulnerabletosaying"yes"toallofthemwithoutmuchregardforour
currenttimecommitments.Wealsotendtounderestimatetheadditionaltimerequiredfornewopportunities.
Asopportunitiespresentthemselves,taketimetoreflectonwhetheryourdecisionismorealignedwithyouradjusted
valuesrankingsoryourcurrentrankings.Trytotakeadvantageofopportunitiesthatcomeyourwaytoshiftyourbehavior
tobemorecongruentwithyouradjustedrankings.
Considerthebalancewithinandbetweenyourvalues.Willtakingonthisnewopportunitycauseyoutolosebalancewithin
avalueandresultinover-expressionofonevalueattheexpenseofotherimportantvalues?Willyoulosebalance
betweenconflictingvalues?
Committoopportunitiesthatarecongruentwithyourmostimportantvaluesbutalsocommittomanagingthemwitha
realisticappraisalofyouravailabletimeandenergy.Thebasisforgooddecisionmakingisvaluescongruencyandenergy
management,notwhetheryourdecisionresultedinagoodoutcome.Ifagoodoutcomeresultsfromyourvalues-based
decisions,it'stobeappreciated,butnottobeusedasthecriterionforevaluatingyourdecision.
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STRATEGY 4
Thefollowingisafive-stepprocessthatincorporateswhatyouhavelearnedaboutyourvaluesintoadailyplan.Please
refertothesupplement"OptimalSelf-Leadership"foradescriptionastowhythisplanishelpful.
Step1:Values.Atthebeginningofeachday,askyourself,"Whatisthemostrightwayformetodevotemytimeand
energytoday?"Theword"right"isintendedtotapintothevaluesyouhaveclarified,butinthecontextofaday.The
answerononedaymaybeaboutbalance,doingsomethinginallthethingsthatareimportanttoyou.Onedayitmaybe
moresingularandfocusedonanimportantproject.Onanotherdayitmaybeaboutrest.Whateveritis,usetheconceptof
"rightness"totapintoyourvalues.Thisprocessdoesn'thavetobelongandstructured.Itcanbeshortandintuitive,while
youaregettingreadyforyourday.
Step2:Acceptanceand"Can."Usually,youwillreacttotheanswerfromStep1withuncertaintyastowhetheryoucan
getitalldone.Ifyoufeelatwingeofdoubt,you'reprobablyright.Reducetheactivitiesuntilyoufeelasenseofconfidence
andamindsetof"Icandothis."
Step3:ExpressionandEngagement.Onceyouhaveyour"cando"listofvalues-basedbehaviors,youfocuson
expressingthoseactivitiestherestoftheday.Thedayisaboutbeingfullyengagedintheexpressionofyourtalentand
energy,withcourageandcommitment.
Step4:Appreciation.Atsomepointneartheendoftheday,spendacoupleofminutesappreciatingwhatyoudidand
why.Thismaysoundalittletouchy-feelyforsome.However,thereisaverypracticalreasonfordoingthis.Attheendof
theday,wemostnaturallythinkofthethingsthatdidn'tgetdoneandwhatweneedtodotomorrowtomakeupforit.This
triggersanoverlyevaluative,orjudging,mindsetandnegativelyaffectsourmotivationandstresslevel.Takingacoupleof
minutestoappreciatewhatyoudidandwhycountersthisnegativeprocess.Wealreadyknowwhatdidn'tgetdone.In
addition,thisstepallowsustoseehowunexpectedeventsprovidedopportunitiesforvalues-congruentbehavior.For
instance,wemayhaveplannedtodevotetimetoanimportantprojectbutendedupdevotingtimetoafriendwho
unexpectedlycalledincrisis.Itisimportanttoappreciatethevaluesthatarebehindthatbehavior.Thisisnotintendedto
beaself-lovefest,butamomenttotaketimetoappreciatethecourageyouexhibitedbycommittingtovalues-based
behavior.MartinLutherKing,Jr.oftenspokeoftheheroismassociatedwithlivingcongruentlywithourvaluesonadaily
basis.Thisstepisintendedtobeaformofself-managementandself-encouragementforourdifficultefforts.
Step5:Analysis.Afterspendingtimeappreciatingwhatyoudidduringtheday,askyourself"WhatisonethingIcan
learnfromtodaythatwillhelpmetomorrow?"Thishelpsuscontinuetogrowandimprove.Thisprocessisanalysis-which
isnotthesameasevaluation.Analysisisanauthenticwaytolearnandself-improveevaluationistoopersonal-we
processitasgood-badorsuccess-failure.Forexample,wemaylookbackatthedayandrealizethatwefellshortofa
particulargoal.Evaluatingouractionsmaycauseustoconcludethatwewerelazy(orsomeotherverynegative,personal
label).Thisprocessonlyservestonegativelyaffectourmotivationandmakeusvulnerabletorepeatingthesame
behavior.Thinkinganalytically,wecanlookatthesituation,trytounderstandthefactorsthatinfluencedourbehavior(e.g.,
wetookontoomuchtoday,weletfeargetintheway,somethingunanticipatedhappenedthatwasmoreimportant),andtry
tolearnfromtheexperience.Afteryouhaveappreciatedandlearnedfromyourday,youcanmentallyflushthestressof
thedaywithaclearconscience,helpingyousleepbetterandfullyrestoringyourbodyandmind.
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STRATEGY 5
Fromthisvaluesclarificationprocess,wehopethatyouhavediscoveredanimportantpointaboutstress.Muchofthe
stresswefeelisconnectedatsomeleveltothethingswebelieveareimportant.Wecan'tfeelanxiousaboutthingsthat
areunimportanttous.Ifweviewstressasaproblemthatneedstoberemovedfromourlives,thenwemayalsobe
removingareasthatarecentraltoourfulfillment.Forexample,youcouldgetyourfeelingshurtlessifyoucaredless,butif
youvalueBelongingorConcernforOthers,youwillfeelthelossofnotexpressingthatvalue.
Wearenaturallyinclinedtowardphysicalcomfort.Thiscanalsoleadustoplaceprimaryimportanceonemotionalcomfort.
Iftheprimaryguidetoyourlifeisemotionalcomfort,youwillmakedecisionsandacttoreduceanyuncomfortable
emotions,suchasfear,boredom,hurt,oranxiety.Butthismayalsocomeatacost:lessmeaningandfulfillment.Ifyou
placeprimaryimportanceonmeaningbycommittingtoactonyourvalues,thecostmaybeperiodicstressanddiscomfort
associatedwithhavingtomanagethosevalues.Weallhavetimeswhenweneedabreakfromstressanddiscomfort,but
there'sadistinctionbetweenprimaryversussecondaryfocus.Fulfillment,productivity,andresilienceareoptimizedwhen
commitmenttoourvaluesisprimaryandemotionalcomfortissecondary.Thisconceptisfurtherexploredinthe
supplement"OptimalSelf-Leadership."
Dedicatingyourselftoavalues-centeredlifeprovidestheopportunityforexcellenceandfulfillment.Butitalsomeansyou
arededicatingyourselftosomethingthatishard.It'snotcomplicated,justhard.That'swhypositivechangerequires
courageandcommitment.Youhavetocrossthatemotionalhurdleofacceptingthefightofdoingsomethinghard.
Fortunately,ifyouacceptthefightandseektointentionallydevoteyourtimeandenergytoyourvalues,youremotional
reactiontothefightdecreasesandfeelslesspainful.
Whilepositivechangeisultimatelyourownresponsibility,supportcanhelpusfromfeelingaloneinthefight.Growth
comesfromabalanceofchallengeandsupport.Helpfulsupportforpositivechangetendstocomeintheformofpeople,
faithandstructure.Thesupportoffriends,lovedones,and/orprofessionalscanprovideencouragementandperspective.
Youmayfindthatprayer,meditation,orreflectionconsistentwithyourspiritualbeliefscanhelpyoumaintainfaithand
hope.Youmayalsofindthatacertainleveloforganizationorstructuretoyourdayhelpscreatearhythmandroutinewhen
youaretryingtointernalizechange.Whatevercombinationofsupportfeelsmosthelpful,itisimportanttodevelopthat
supportbeforeyoubeginyourpersonaldevelopmentprogram.
Tocontinuelearningvalues-basedstrategiesforspecificlifeissues,proceedtoStepFive.
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