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Isabel Perry

Herzog
AP Lit Period 4
POV Assignment Rewrite Cover Letter
My main goal of this rewrite was adding tags in order to show instead of tell.
Its been a while since Ive been able to do a creative piece such as this one because I was in
Lang last year, so it was nice to get back to assignments that I have a lot of fun doing (throwback
to my slam poetry piece). I enjoyed the challenge of choosing an offstage scene, creating
blocking, inner thoughts, and dialogue, rather than just the inner thoughts. I think that my ending
could still be better; Im still struggling with how Blanche would react before sitting down to
read calmly and coldly. Knowing me, Ill probably think of an amazing ending two weeks from
now. I also had to work on creating that quality dense-passage imagery, especially with the
constraint of two pages, but I think with more practice Ill get there. The strongest aspect of my
paper was the Blanche voice. I tried to use fragments in order to show her arrogant and sassy
personality, and it ended up working really well. I also think I improved the transitions in this
piece. Transitions are usually something I struggle with, but they seemed to come pretty
naturally. This stemmed from clarifying my sentences and quotes, providing more detail and
adding action tags. Overall, I really enjoyed this assignment, and with the new changes, I think
this scene is more specific and flows better.

The Old Bat and The Angel Girl

Shes ready now, said the footman. She wishes to know who will be her first visitor.
I smoothed my skirt and patted some stray hairs. As I uncrossed my legs, Colonel Dent left to
look in upon the gypsy woman. The martyr. I raised an eyebrow toward Mother to make sure she was
well aware that I was not pleased. I was, after all, the angel girl; I waited for no one.
With a sigh, I admired the plush chaise I was lounging in. How elegant and refined. And soon,
mine. I found myself stroking the arm rest when Im sure I heard that insolent governess let out a giggle.
How dare she? And why wasnt she getting me a cup of tea? She would be the first thing to go when I
marry Mr. Rochester. Speaking of which, where
Colonel Dent returned. At last.
I go first.
Silence. My eyes darted to my mother until she cried out many compliments. I smirked and
strolled down the hall past the mahogany dining table, mine, past the ivory frames, mine, until I reached
the library, lit only by the soft glow of the fireplace. I tried to examine the gypsy womans face, but it
was concealed by a large black hat. Pity. How would she know that my angelic features were destined
for expensive jewelry to enhance them?
A chair slid out from the other side of the table.
Sit, Miss Ingram, barked the gypsy woman, her voice cutting through me like a knife.
I attempted to mask my surprise, sitting with a huff.
Yes?
Well?
Youre not married.
It does not take a gypsy to deduce that. You asked for single women. Am I supposed to believe
youre genuine? I smiled. No one could make a fool out of Blanche Ingram.
I am not asking you to believe anything, she stated plainly, thinking she won.
Is there marriage in my future? I demanded.
Are you in love?

I scoffed. That was a rather personal question, and shouldnt she know the answer?
That was not an answer, she sung arrogantly.
I was not used to being treated in this matter. The truth was, I did not really know how to answer
it. I might as well be honest with this wench.
He has a rather large sum of money, I muttered.
Ah, the gypsy replied. I see. So you wish to know of your future wealth.
Evidently.
Her pause was almost unbearable.
Finally, she stated matter-of-factly, Well I can tell you, you will be sorely disappointed.
That awful girl! I exploded. I saw the way she looked at him. Did she think she could win
him over me? She wouldnt even know what to do with his wealth. What an absolute waste!
The gypsy woman seemed to almost laugh.
Oh dear, thats not it at all. It is Mr. Rochester you seek, is it not?
How do you know that?
The old bat ignored my question.
You are wrapped up in this illusion, my dear. He hasnt a cent to his name.
I leaped from my seat.
Youre lying, I shouted.
And you are going to have a loveless, impoverished life. Goodbye, Miss Ingram. She plucked
a book off the shelf and buried her face in the pages.
HOW DO YOU KNOW? ANSWER ME!
I boomed. Silence. She would rue this day; just wait until my mother heard about this. Thrusting
open the mahogany doors, I heard crystal smashing behind me. I rushed into the light; the doors slammed
behind me. I found a mirror, smoothed my skirt, and patted my hair.
Blanche Ingram will find wealth.