How to Fend Off a Hippopotamus

By Bryce Simpson

Problem:
Hippopotami are extremely territorial herbivores. Their
territory usually includes entire rivers and the banks around them,
and because of this, it's not safe to be near them at anytime.
In 2012, Hippos killed 3,000 people. This is more people
every year than fatal bear and shark attacks combined according
to livescience.com. An example of how deadly a hippo can be
was found in Niamey just 3 months ago, when a rogue hippo
flipped a boat full of 13 people,12 being children, and drowned
and mauled them all.
Hippos are also dangerous because of their size, typically
weighing 3,000 to 10,000 pounds, but still able to go 18mph in or
out of water. Another weapon in the hippos arsenal are their tusks
or their two large canine teeth, growing anywhere from 8 to 20
inches long. With a bite force of 1900 pounds, anyone facing
them is most likely going to have a bad day.

Hippos can be commonly found in any sub-Saharan area

such as Chad or Ethiopia. Hippopotami attack literally anything
they see as a threat: lions, cattle, deer, crocodiles, boats, even
elephants aren't safe.

Solution:
Now what do you do if one of these goliaths happens to get a hold of
you? In all honesty there isn't much you can do, but here is a step by step
guide to help:
Step 1: Asses the situation: Is the hippo opening its mouth wide? This is a
common act done by any hippo who feels threatened.

Step 2: Stay calm: The more noise you make the more threatened a hippo
will feel. The more threatened a hippo feels, the more likely it is to attack.
Step 3: Try to slowly move away: If you are on land or a river bank and
you see a hippo, just back away. Once you get to the point where you can't
see the beast, run. If you happen to be in a boat or swimming when you
see one, immediately look for the closest land. Slowly move towards land
until you are out of the water, but don't take your eyes off the hippo. Once
on land, do as before, and run.

Step 4: Last resort: If all else has failed and you are unable to get out of a
hippos deadly embrace, fight with all you've got. This will most likely not
work and is a technique only if all else fails. This is an all last stand strategy
because hippos typically fight to the death over territory. So, unless the
particular hippo attacking you is not in the mood to fight, you will die.
Step 5: Last last resort: If the fourth step has worked then immediately get
out of the area, most likely there are more hippos on their way. If there was
only one and your wounds aren't fatal congratulate yourself, be proud, you
have just faced one of the most deadly animals on this planet and survived.

Extra Facts:
Hippos are cute but terrifying animals that are not to be ignored.
There are roughly 150,000 hippopotamuses left in the wild putting them in the at risk section
on the endangered animal chart.
They can be in groups anywhere from one hippo to 200 hippopotami.
These groups always have a dominant male or leader.
Hippopotamus babies start out 50 to 110 pounds.
Hippos only have one baby at a time according to the San Diego Zoo.
The babies stay with their mothers for 18 months.
Hippos, being herbivores or plant eaters, eat any form of leaf or grass.
Although they only eat at night, every night they eat roughly 80 pounds of food.
When two hippopotami are fighting over territory it can go to the death.

 One way they show aggression is opening their mouths as wide as they can - up to 180
degrees.

Sometimes babies get caught in the middle of this and can get crushed.

Since hippos are in the sun a lot they secrete this pinkish, reddish fluid to prevent sunburns,
some tribes believed hippos sweat blood.
The only predator of hippopotami is the Nile Crocodile and even the croc has to be careful of
these giants.

Sources Cited:
"Hippo Chases Down A Boat In Terrifying Encounter." The Huffington Post UK. N.p., n.d.
Web. 11 June 2015.
"Thirteen People, including 12 Children, Killed in Hippopotamus Attack." ABC News.
N.p., 19 Nov. 2014. Web. 11 June 2015.
"Rogue Hippo Attack." Nat Geo WILD. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 June 2015.
"Man Swallowed by Hippo Lives to Tell the Tale." NY Daily News. N.p., n.d. Web. 11
June 2015.
Zijlma, Anouk. "Africa's Most Dangerous Animals (Hippos, Lions & More)." Africa's Most
Dangerous. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 June 2015.