Running head: THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT LIFE WITH A SPECIAL NEEDS

CHILD

The Perfectly Imperfect Life With A Special Needs Child

Following the American Psychological Association
Ellie Knox
Samford University

Running head: THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT LIFE WITH A SPECIAL NEEDS

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Abstract
While every special needs childs story is different, Jennifers is especially
unique. Her story is not only full of hurt and devastation but of grace and improvement.
While none of this was expected for Jennifer, her parents appreciate her for who she is
and strive to give her the best life. Jennifers life is completely different now at age nine
then from what the doctors first said at birth, and I think this change is a result of her new
mother, Kim. Her life improved after a correct diagnosis and proper medicine, and she is
able to live a fairly normal life.
What Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?
Jennifer was a normal baby in the womb, and she never showed any signs of
distress or warnings for future issues. Her mother had a completely normal pregnancy,
and her water broke at 31 weeks. During delivery, she started to struggle, and Jennifer
began to code. The doctors rushed for a C-section, because Jennifer was in distress. After
delivery, Jennifer suffered two strokes and a brain hemorrhage, which resulted in brain
damage. Her Apgar test was a score of 1, and she was taken to the NICU. Doctors are
unsure of Jennifers brain while in utero, so they are unsure if she would have born with
these damages regardless of her birth. Kim is thankful that the doctors saved Jennifers
life, and the rest of the family places no blame on the doctors. The doctors warned the
family that early intervention would be key, but the odds of Jennifer walking or talking
were very slim. Jennifers grandparents really struggled with her condition, and they
constantly wondered what could have been done differently during this process that could
undo the damage. Jennifer had mild cerebral palsy, but she was undiagnosed for other
needs that arose. Around the age of six, Jennifers father and Kim, his girlfriend at the

Running head: THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT LIFE WITH A SPECIAL NEEDS

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time, took her to one of the best-known neuropsychologists in the area. Jennifer had
never had a full evaluation, and her new mother wanted to know everything about her
specific needs. The scans revealed brain damage in areas that autism also affects. The
doctor gave Jennifers parents the choice to either accept or reject the label of autism
because either she had autism or her brain damage resulted in autistic qualities. Jennifers
parents decided that they would choose the label of autism, because they could receive
more services for her. Whether or not Jennifer would have had special needs had
everything gone perfectly in delivery was not a question her family chose to ponder, so
they learned how to live with autism and cerebral palsy. As Kim said, a child must have a
label for an IEP, so Jennifer now could receive these benefits that she would have been
unable to without the label.
Early Stages
Jennifers family learned to cope with her needs, and they began early
intervention at birth. She received OT, PT, and feeding help. These services stop at age
three, and the family must find more help on their own. She showed signs of
developmental delay, but she had not been diagnosed with a specific need. Everything
came later for Jennifer, but she was able to walk and talk. She began to walk at age three.
She spoke words between the ages of three and four, but she did not use sentences until
age five. Her family knew that she had mild cerebral palsy, but they had no other
diagnosis. She was able to go to school, and she had an aid with her to keep her focused
and functioning. Jennifer did well in school and was great at math and reading; however,
she struggled with the emotional and social aspects of school.

Running head: THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT LIFE WITH A SPECIAL NEEDS

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Life Hurts
Life with a special needs child was not easy for Jennifers birth mother. After
Jennifers birth, her mother began to battle deep stress and anxiety. These worsened over
the years and turned into a deep depression. She began to self-cope through substance
abuse. She was very sick with mental health issues and slowly turned into a completely
different person. When Jennifer was five, her mother committed suicide. Jennifers
family hoped that she was unaware of her mothers situation, but they learned later that
she was aware of more than they knew. Now, she will sometimes say that her mother
drank too much or was very sick. In the midst of this chaos, Jennifers life began to
change for the worse. Her negative behaviors that had once been pushed aside began to
show. Jennifers once fairly steady life came crashing down.
Hope and Improvement
Kim told me that if she were told ten years ago that she would marry into a
special needs family, she would have been incredibly anxious. As she was talking to me,
she displayed Gods grace and love. She went into the relationship with a peace that can
only be from God, and she truly was able to change Jennifers life. After Kim and
Jennifers father married, Jennifer was able to switch schools to a school with more aid
for special needs students. Along with starting a new school, Jennifer started a new
medication. Kim said that this new medicine was life changing and has enabled her to do
so much more than ever expected. Now, Jennifer can work through sensory overloads
much quicker and can adjust. The new medicine also helped her stop her biting, and she
is weaning off a chewy toy now. Jennifer can now engage more in social situations, and
while some might claim that she is inattentive, she really mentally obsesses over

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something she previously experienced. Kim said that many times Jennifer will seem to be
disinterested, but she is intensely focused on something else. She is very smart at
manipulating, and she is fully aware of her behavior. Kim said that Jennifer used to test
her by relieving herself in the dining room or on the floor just to see a reaction. Kim
learned the correct response to Jennifers poor behavior, and she said tantrums are
significantly less.
Looking Forward
Jennifer is now nine years old and is surpassing all of the limitations the doctors
originally gave her. Her parents goal for her is to allow her to be as independent as
possible, although they do not know how that will look in the future. Jennifer is a happy
child who brings joy to those around her. While she still has tantrums every once in
awhile and will struggle with sensory issues, she has improved more than doctors ever
predicted. She loves going to church, and she is very involved in the special needs
program there. Kim said that the church has gone out of its way to help Jennifer, but she
is very open about her needs. She refuses to be the parent who complains if her child is
not allowed to participate in activities, so she openly tells the church to let her know if
they do not think Jennifer can participate in different activities. Jennifer is involved in the
community through several special needs ministries. Her favorite is the Red Barn
ministry, which helps improve her OT skills all while Jennifer thinks she is helping the
horses. She also is involved in Over The Mountain Baseball which partners special needs
children with a buddy on the field. She loves baseball, and her mother said that she
mostly enjoys the fanfare. She is also involved in summer activities including Camp
Briarwood and the Summer Show Offs. Besides community involvement, Jennifer is

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doing well in school. She still has an aid in class to help her come back when she begins
to think about other things not pertaining to class. Rewards are necessary for work, so she
does five minutes of hard work in class and then has five minutes on the iPad. While life
is far from perfect, it definitely is improving. Jennifer has more good days than bad, but
she will always have to live with autism and cerebral palsy. Life is moving forward for
her family. Kim is now pregnant and is trying to prepare Jennifer for life with another
baby. While Kim sometimes wonders how life will be with Jennifer and a new baby, she
is so grateful to be a mother to two now. She said that before medicine, another child
would be no option; however, Jennifers medicine has improved her life so much that
another child is now in the picture.

*The names have been changed to ensure the privacy of those involved.