Dartagnan Brik

English 4
Problem and Solution Essay
November 13th, 2015
Domestic Violence Problem Solution Essay
Why dont they leave? A frequent question asked by those who witness or hear about
abuse that are too ignorant to see the unescapable prison those abused can find themselves
chained inside. Guilt, sadness, promises, family, love, and hope can keep those abused stuck
inside a relationship of false promises. Domestic violence has been a prevalent problem
throughout all of history and to really understand why domestic violence is still current in our
society we must look at the broad ideology of sexism.Leslie Morgan Steiner author of the
novel Crazy Love recounts her experiences in an abusive relationship with her ex husband;
Steiner begins by questioning the statements made above.Throughout the entirety her novel she
offers reasoning to why those being abused stay with their abusive partners. The biggest and
most chilling answer she gave in defense of those who stay, was that most women or men in the
relationship don't realize they are being abused but instead in her words think that they are in
love with a very troubled person and that they are the only person on earth that can fix and make
them better(Steiner.) This ideology lead Steiner to stay with this man for years while suffering
from countless beatings, death threats, and psychological abuse. Steiner discusses the
psychological manipulation that the man she fell in love with subjected her to and the thoughts
she had before abuse started and her feelings afterwards. She ultimately leaves the audience with
the end of her survivor story in which she explained she literally told everyone, the police,
friends and even strangers what was going on inside the closed doors of her so called home
(Steiner.) This act of bravery Steiner conjured up was powerful and did change her life for the

better. Through Steiner's story one of the clear ends to domestic violence is to break the silence
and educate those of the silent demon that is domestic violence.
Abuse is considered to be a very complex issue; most that are experiencing abuse have
trouble understanding exactly what they are facing. Abuse leaves scars to the physical body in
most cases but can also leave scars to the human psyche that sometimes never repair.
Psychological abuse will always hit harder than physical, those that target the human psyche seek
to destroy the fundamental pieces to what makes their partner or child an individual capable of
independence. Leslie Steiner recounts, The pain evoked onto my body eventually healed, but
the scars left on my mind from the person I became and the manipulation I was to blind to see,
remain to this day (Steiner). The quotation above helps to show the long-term effects that the
mind will deal with after leaving an abusive relationship. The emotional bond formed by this
broad idea of love leads those that are being abused to blind themselves to the realities they are
tangled inside. They blind themselves by common statements like it will be better this time,
he/she didnt mean what they said or did and finally the last and most convincing of all they
still love me (Howard). These statements only bring a false hope to a better future for those
facing abuse. The only way to truly ensure a better future is to realize that abuse is prevalent and
is escapable.
Sexism is one of the many things that contribute to the justification of domestic violence.
To further explain let's look at the gender role of a man throughout history, a man has always
been told that they are the protector and are built to financially support and love there family at
all costs (Gender Roles and Gender Difference). Strength is often used as a word to describe a
man as a whole. These stereotypes lead males that are facing abuse from their female partners to
stay silent in hopes of keeping their idea of manhood intact. Over seventy five percent of

psychological abuse cases are female to male (CDC). Elizabeth Garcia assistant facilitator of an
anonymous support group in the San Diego area commented stating I have only seen a handful
of men ever show, I believe it's because men are to afraid of the social backlash they would
receive over admitting they are facing abuse (Garcia). Not only men fear of this backlash when
admitting to abuse because among society abuse is viewed as a social taboo. Garcia continues,
If people are still afraid to discuss abuse and even acknowledge it as a problem then it will
never be extinguished. The only way for men and women to understand what abuse is and how
to escape it is for it to be spoken about and taught as something to avoid when building a healthy
relationship (Garcia). The community in order to take steps towards a future free of abuse must
educate the younger generations of what abuse is. Education on the matter would hopefully
generate a society in which men and women are not afraid to speak out in regards to the abuse
they may be facing inside their homes.
Ana Maus a survivor of domestic abuse and leader of a support group for women in the
San Diego area spoke on the matter stating, that all those abused have a voice, I have heard
many stories and heard the many voices of those trapped in an abusive household, they all share
one thing in common, power(Maus). Maus continues to explain that power in its rawest form is
demonstrated by those who do find means of support because it shows developing independence
(Maus). While reminiscing on her own story Maus claims that she lacked power, that she didn't
seek help but instead ran with her child and lived off the streets for months (Maus). Running was
the only escape she found until she found herself in a new country where she discovered
education was the best way she could build independence to become singularly strong. Maus
explains this newfound education gave me the strength I needed, to be a mother and a women, I
learned a great deal about self worth and eventually became an architect in a foreign country I

now consider my home (Maus). Maus believes that her escape from abuse made her stronger and
did not make her resent men. Maus claims a common misconception of women who escaped
from an abusive past is that they will resent all men, men are not the problem the problem is the
perception the world has about abuse as a whole. Abuse can happen to anyone and those who are
victims should not be shamed, they should be supported. Those who are not victims should be
educated, in order to end abuse among men children and women we must work to educate and
create a new perception for our society (Maus). Ana Maus escaped from abuse and continues to
support those facing abuse each day, in hopes those women, children and men will see their
potential as an individual.
The biggest problem rising from domestic violence is it gives a fabricated idea of a
healthy relationship. Today there are many movements and survivors of abuse like Ana Maus,
Elizabeth Garcia, and Leslie Morgan Steiner speaking to the masses through literature,
gatherings, and speeches about the importance of understanding abuse as a whole. Domestic
violence is a prevalent problem because it is universal across all ethnicities, genders, and ages.
Any human being can experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetime. The only way
for a victim of domestic violence to escape from their abusers grasp is by having a voice. The
first step is accepting the situation you have fallen into, the next is having a voice to combat the
memories you will one-day defeat.

Cited Research
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 02
Dec. 2014. Web. 27 Feb. 2015.
"Domestic Violence: Statistics & Facts." Safe Horizon. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Feb. 2015.
"Gender Roles and Gender Differences." Gender Roles and Gender Differences. N.p., n.d. Web.
11 Feb. 2015.
Steiner, Leslie Morgan. Crazy Love: A Memoir. New York: St. Martin's, 2009. Print.
Jackson, Howard. Domestic Violence and Its Impact on Children's
Development (n.d.): n. pag. Web.
Nunn, Alicia. "Our Children Can't Learn Because They're Terrified." The Huffington Post.
TheHuffingtonPost.com, n.d. Web. 06 Oct. 2015.