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Maria Lopez
UWRT 1103
Professor Blandford
11/19/15
Final Reflection: Convicted Survivors
Throughout the composing process of my final essay, my topic slowly
evolved as I gained information. At first, my subject of extended inquiry was
too broad and shallow. As I began to research, I realized that I needed to
narrow my topic, and women in prison evolved into convicted survivors of
domestic abuse, which later transformed into why do some battered women
kill their abusers while others do not? Having the freedom to pick my own
topic to explore was an empowering experience. In the past, my research
assignments have not been so flexible. Because I chose a topic that I
genuinely enjoy learning about, it was easy to stay motivated while
researching my inquiry. I liked reading articles and interviews of convicted
survivors, and I often found myself thinking about my topic while I was at
work, or the movies, or sitting in my programming lecture and struggling to
remain focused. For the first time, I felt engaged with a topic that I was
writing about. Learning about convicted survivors did not feel like a chore,
which, sadly to say, was a change of pace for me after years of formulaic,
high-school essays.
I approached my inquiry with many questions in mind. Originally, I wanted
to the answers to such varied questions as: what life is like for the average

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woman in prison, why prison sentences for women are getting increasingly
longer, and if there is any connection between the War on Drugs and the
overall increase in female inmates. The more research I did, the better, more
specific, questions I was able to ask, such as: why do some battered women
kill their abusers while others do not, and what resources are available for
battered women? I learned to stop looking for concrete interpretations and
answers. Battered women serving prison sentences for killing their abusers is
a complicated social problem with no one cause or solution. When a source
claims to have a definitive solution, that source is looking at the problem
from a one-sided perspective. Instead of trying to decipher the issue, I
focused on gaining a new viewpoint. In this way, my extended inquiry on the
Other gradually unfolded into an exercise on how literacy allows the reader
to step into another persons shoes and empathize with their unique
situation.
The source that gave me the most insight into incarcerated battered
women was, without a doubt, Convicted Survivors by Elizabeth Dermondy
Leonard. Convicted Survivors explores the lives of over forty women serving
prison sentences for killing their male abusers. The book, which is available
for free on Project Muse, contains exhaustive studies and analysis on what
drives some women to kill their victimizers. I appreciated Leonards clinical,
fact-driven approach. At the same time, it was obvious that she was deeply
passionate about helping the women she interviewed. The government
surveys I found on the Bureau of Justice Statistics website were helpful

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because they gave me concrete numbers and evidence about the
demographics of convicted survivors in prison, but Convicted Survivors
provided the context I needed to comprehend this social problem.
I am very glad that Convicted Survivors included so many interviews,
because my original plan of interviewing female inmates through letters did
not formulate. I sent several letters to inmates, but received no replies (as of
today). I suspect that I simply did not have enough time to complete this
plan. Even if one of the women did respond in time, it is unlikely that she
would want to immediately discuss personal details about her case with me.
Most people to not feel comfortable divulging information about traumatic
events to a stranger they do not trust. I am still interesting in writing to
female inmates, but I will not be able to include any letters in my final essay
or portfolio. Fortunately, there was no shortage of first-hand accounts from
convicted survivors in my sources. Convicted Survivors and Psychological
Self-Defense both included fascinating statements from imprisoned survivors
of domestic violence.
Once the research component of my inquiry was complete, writing the
essay was a simple, if frustrating process. For me, the most difficult part of
writing is remaining patient with myself. Before this class, I always rushed
through the drafting process, but reading Shitty First Drafts inspired me to
slow down while I wrote, edited, and re-wrote. In order to get a finished
product that I am happy with, I first have to crank out a few versions that I
absolutely hate. Like the researching aspect of this inquiry, the writing

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aspect was one of trial and error. There was no way to rush through it,
because I needed considerable time to digest facts, formulate thoughts and
organize information. In the end, I think that taking my time was worth it,
because with each completed draft, my ability to reflect on the process grew.
Every time I came back to my essay, I was more familiar with it, and I had a
better grasp of how the topic related to my literacy.
I learned very much from my extended inquiry. In addition to gaining a
greater understanding of the social problem of battered women serving
lengthy prison sentences for killing their abusers, I also discovered valuable
writing skills and practices. By the middle of the semester, I finally
understood the purpose of the daybooks. Around this time, my entries went
from vague observations to concrete details, notes and ideas about my
inquiry. By altering my outlook towards the daybook, I was able to record the
daily changes in my thinking towards my topic. Perhaps the biggest change
in my thinking is towards my sources. Before this class, it never occurred to
me that I could question my sources. Recognizing that I am in a discourse
with my sources was a personal revelation. For the first time, I was able to
see that my sources were not perfect. For instance, The Bureau of Justice
Statistics tracks many things in the surveys they release every few years,
but there is no centralized database detailing exactly how many women are
currently imprisoned for killing their abusers. I wish that more specific data
existed regarding convicted survivors and their pasts. For instance, how
many times does the average woman seek outside help, such as a

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restraining order or other police intervention, before she kills her abuser in
defense of her life? Furthermore, how many women are in prison because
they were coerced into crime by an abuser?
Overall, writing an extended inquiry has changed the way I think about
writing. Being interested in my topic makes a huge difference, as does
learning to question and engage with my sources. My attitude towards
literacy has changed. Writing has become more personal and enjoyable for
me. In the past, I often tried to write what I thought my teacher might want
to read, which could become very frustrating, and also made me feel
disconnected from my writing. As a rhetor, it is important to remember your
audience, but I specifically wrote for my audience, and for the grade I wanted
to receive. I regurgitated facts, and treated my sources like they were
infallible. Now I understand that writing is always equivalent to partaking in a
conversation. Learning to be a critical reader and reflective thinker will help
me as I continue my college education. I am thankful that I ended up in
UWRT 1103, because it has been a very different experience from other
English classes I have taken. For the first time, I have slowed down enough to
examine and reflect on my writing process, and what literacy means to me.