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by Osbert Melgar

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ENG_301_EDIT ORIAL_PAPER.DOCX (375.02K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

18-NOV-2015 11:53PM

WORD COUNT

1818

SUBMISSION ID

602863957

CHARACT ER COUNT

8701

Good start on a complex thesis.

Keep working to find a more
relevant qualifying phrase
(remember, people aren't going to
offer a counterargument about
freedom to expose themselves to
life saving bacteria, right? but
some would argue against
spending money on this). Also,

missing word

w
a
s
h
e
d
?

say how, and who will fund?

good P!

paraphrase

Great idea, but how will those swimmers know about it?

Use Purdue Owl to discover the proper way to site electronic

references.
ex:
Author, A. A., & Author, B. B. (Date of publication). Title of
article. Title of Online Periodical, volume number(issue number
if available). Retrieved from
http://www.someaddress.com/full/url/

Untitled
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

80

Instructor

/100

PAGE 1

QM

Concise
Practice our sentence revision techniques here and throughout your report (e.g., reduce
prepositional phrases, use vigorous verbs, etc.).

QM

Run-on
Run-on sentence:
T he sentence contains two or more independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a period or
semicolon.

QM

C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
"who," "whom," "whose").

Text Comment.

Good start on a complex thesis. Keep working to f ind a more relevant

qualif ying phrase (remember, people aren't going to of f er a counterargument about f reedom to
expose themselves to lif e saving bacteria, right? but some would argue against spending money
on this). Also, "any action necessary" connotes military or police f orce--is that what you mean?
Specif y exactly what you're pushing.
PAGE 2

Text Comment.

washed?

Text Comment.

missing word

Comment 1
If you're going to cite directly and indirectly, be sure to do so directly f irst.
QM

citation add
You need a citation here.

QM

citation add
You need a citation here.

PAGE 3

Text Comment.

say how, and who will f und?

Text Comment.

good P!

Text Comment.

paraphrase

Text Comment.

Great idea, but how will those swimmers know about it?

Text Comment.

Use Purdue Owl to discover the proper way to site electronic ref erences.

PAGE 4

PAGE 5
PAGE 6

ex:
Author, A. A., & Author, B. B. (Date of publication). T itle of article. T itle of Online Periodical,
volume number(issue number if available). Retrieved f rom
http://www.someaddress.com/f ull/url/

RUBRIC: EDITORIAL RUBRIC

RHET ORIC (10%)

77 / 9 5

85 / 95

Write f or a specif ic audience and purpose.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC
language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to argue a position
(65)
persuasively) isn't clear or achieved.
DEVELOPING
(75)

Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a position
persuasively) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose may be implied, but it's clear and
achieved.

ADVANCED
(95)

Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a position
persuasively) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HICAL RES (10%)

85 / 95

Find, evaluate, select, synthesize, organize, ethically cite, and present inf ormation f rom a variety of
sources appropriate to their disciplines.
ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
BASIC
marks incorrectly. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source.
(65)
Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources or relies exclusively on one

source.
DEVELOPING
(75)

A f ew errors in discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation

marks. Of ten includes sources without introduction in cases when introduction is
necessary and discipline appropriate. Sometimes relies too heavily on a single source
or uses irrelevant sources.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Usually introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is usually diverse and relevant.

ADVANCED
(95)

Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is always diverse and relevant.

PERSUASION (30%)

75 / 95

Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative merits
of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values. Integrate this evaluative work into
a persuasive argument.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with relevant reasoning and/or specif ic evidence. Objectivity,
BASIC
balance, and a controlling idea may be lacking.
(65)
DEVELOPING
(75)

Attempts to support claims with reasoning and evidence, but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking. A controlling idea may be missing or implied. Objectivity and
balance may be weak or f lawed.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Usually supports the controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough,
and insightf ul reasoning and specif ic evidence. Usually maintains objectivity and
balance in argumentation.

ADVANCED
(95)

Supports the controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough, and
insightf ul reasoning and specif ic evidence. Maintains objectivity and balance in
argumentation.

ORGANIZ AT ION (30%)

75 / 95

Organize, f ocus, and communicate ones thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.
ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic sentences,
BASIC
transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically connected. Ps
(65)
contain multiple topics or are disorganized.
DEVELOPING
(75)

Organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic sentences,

transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogically
linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Clear organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic

sentences, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together adequately.
Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED
(95)

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, headings, transitions)

f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs
are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN (20%)

75 / 95

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express and
inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.
ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Lanuage may ref lect
BASIC
a gender or cultural bias. Design may be unconventional and inef f ective.
(65)
DEVELOPING
(75)

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise

distract f rom meaning. Lanuage may occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias.
Design may be inconventional or inef f ective.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional
and ef f ective.

ADVANCED
(95)

Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence variety.

Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional and
ef f ective.