Cruz Quiroz 1

David Cruz Quiroz

Professor Beadle
English 115
September 17, 2015
Gender Taboo
There are two important philosophies that my father instilled in me as I grew up. One, it
is always important to earn the things that I want. Two, that without hard work or dedication, the
work I produce will have no meaning. He talked a lot about respecting my elders, my mother,
and my siblings. I was the oldest of two at the time and he was very proud to call me his first
born. Every Saturday he made it a point to take me with him to all of his construction sites to
work alongside with him. He never paid me for the work I did., Instead, he bought me toys, cars,
and Max Payne(a boy doll). He knew I was a fond of action figures and teddy bears, and he
completely accepted that about me. As I grew up, my father respected my privacy and never
questioned my gender.
When I became the first person in my family to graduate high school, he knew that he
had crafted a better version of himself in me. I became a man through my own experiences, and
my father was there to accept me for who I was (and am), and to serve as a guide whenever I felt
lost.
One can see these same ideals in Rethinking Womens Biology by Ruth Hubbard and No
Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to Childrens Gender
Nonconformity by Emily W. Kane. They share the ideas of nonconforming to the gender norms
in todays society. According to Professor Hubbard, one isnt born knowing that they one is a
man or woman... this happens when one matures into an adult man or woman (Hubbard46).

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Moreover, Professor Kane explains that in order to achieve gender identity, one must learn to
accept nonconformity and allow children to express their gender as freely as possible. The
authors share these ideas with the intention of creating a dialogue on gender acceptance.
Unfortunately, that dialogue is often seen as gender taboo. While gender construction is mostly
based on principles and the environment one lived in, in the end one is not born with the
intention of being a man or woman,. Rather, one becomes a man or woman through ones
upbringing, the acceptance of ones community and surroundings, and through social construct.
To begin with, a persons upbringing will determine his or her gender identity. For
instance, cultural teachings, the type of parental nurture, and even education can impact a
persons background. More specifically, there are two methods one can teach gender identity:
traditional or nontraditional.
An example of the traditional method to teach gender identity comes down to the idea
that boys wear blue and girls wear pink. Boys are expected to be a man, to be a provider, and
must never cry (as it is a sign of weakness). Girls, on the other hand, are expected to be
submissive to men, and to aspire to marriage marriage as the ultimate life goal.
On the other hand, Professor Kane explores gender nonconformity. She argues that a
healthy upbringing, with individualism and acceptance will produce open minded and free
spirited individuals. In her study, on parental monitoring of childrens gender, she writes,
parents were reporting actions and sentimental oriented toward accomplishing gender in what
they considered a less conventional manner (Kane 91). Parents are trying to accomplish gender
through a nontraditional approach. Some of these approaches include emotional openness and
domestic acceptance. Domestic acceptance was expressed when one of her parent interviewee
said, I want my son to know how to do more than boil water (Kane 91). Another parent

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explains, I try to instill a sense of empathy in my sons and try to get them to see how other
people would feel (Kane91). The study that professor Kane conducted, conveyed a
nontraditional style of teaching, accomplishing gender in a childs upbringing. In essence, one
does not need to conform to the traditional ways of accomplishing gender. Gender is a form of
art, it needs colors, texture, and boldness. The same qualities that a child needs as they grow, to
better achieve gender identity.
In like manner, a persons willingness to accept the notion of social construct,
with the idea that perceptions are not realities, can also determine gender identity. In
contemporary society, there exist the idea that categories can be made based on social
mechanisms, a global phenomenon, or a perception made through cultural or social practices.
One of these practices is gender. Unfortunately, gender is based on social construct. As a society,
there exist a preconceived notion on how and what men and women should look like, dress like,
and act. Professor Hubbard explains that, the impression that women and are shorter than men
is enhanced by our social convention that when women and men pair off, it is considered
preferable for the man to be taller than women (Hubbard 47). Like Hubbard explained, the
impression that men should be taller only exist because it is considered preferable. However,
considering and having an impression of something is not always a true. She continues on to
saying that in some countries, height and body build are much smaller than in the United States
(Hubbard 47). It is clear that many of the perceptions society faces is based on a cultural belief.
As mentioned, social construct is based with the idea of perceptions. Social construct, however,
can have a positive impact in todays society. It is important to channel out the current
perceptions of gender, and have a different outlook that includes acceptance and equality. This

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ideal is important because there will be less violence and more open minded individuals that will
find their gender without any preconceived expectations to follow.
Lastly, acceptance in ones community can also determine ones gender identity.
Community is based out of family, culture, and friends. It is important to understand community
because essentially, that is where one develops a sense of empathy, acceptance, and respect.
These notions are very important when it comes to building gender. In order to achieve gender,
one needs to understand other peoples perspectives and preferences. One should react in a
positive way when it comes to differences and apply some sort of compromise. Kane explains
that, parents reported that they would compromise to carefully craft gender (Kane 94). This
epitome explains that in order to achieve gender, one needs to compromise to other peoples
standpoints and likings.
In the end, one can see why an emphasis on individualism is so important. My father
accepted my individualism and that helped me achieve my gender identity in profound way. I
was never questioned about my likes and or dislikes, I was never questioned about what I wear. I
was never questioned about who I was.
In the final analysis, in order to achieve gender, one must learn to accept nonconformity
and allow children to express their gender as freely as possible. A persons upbringing will help
determine his or her gender identity. For instance, cultural teachings, the type of nurture, and
education can impact a persons background. Not to mention the two methods one can teach
gender. A persons willingness to accept the notion of social construct, with the idea that
perceptions are not realities, can also determine gender identity. Acceptance in ones community
can also determine ones gender identity. Community is based out of family, culture, and friends.
It is important to understand community because essentially, that is where one develops a sense

Cruz Quiroz 5
of empathy, acceptance, and respect. These notions are very important when it comes to building
gender. While gender construction is mostly based on principles and the environment one lived
in, one is not born with the intention of being a man or woman. One becomes a man or woman
through ones upbringing, the acceptance of their community and surroundings, and through
social construct.

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Works Cited

Hubbard, Ruth. "Rethinking Women's Biology." Composing Gender: A Bedford

Spotlight Reader. By Rachel Groner and John F. O'Hara. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014. 4652. Print.
Kane, Emily W. "No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents' Responses to
Children's Gender Nonconformity." Composing Gender: A Bedford Spotlight Reader. By Rachel
Groner and John F. O'Hara. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014. 91-98. Print.