Guidelines For Editing

ENGL 4008/5008
Dr. Wickliff
20 October, 2015
By: Garland, Katie, Chelsea
Cover Page: The group proposal we analyzed is clearly on track with their
work. The cover page is essentially finished, but there are a few things that could be
added to make it more appealing. A graphic or logo could make the cover letter
more attractive to the reader. Also, the Program Solicitation: NSF 15-588 at the
top of the page could be placed somewhere else. Emphasis should be on the title of
the proposal, so a centered title IBSS-S: Developing a Workshop to Formulate a
Business Peak Energy Efficiency in Regards to Employee Performance is
appropriately placed.
Table of Contents: The TOC has a few improvements that could be made. The
overall content is fine, but perhaps it should be reordered according to relevance.
Budget and Current and Pending Support could be placed higher in the TOC and
earlier in the proposal in order to highlight importance. The table of contents also
needs page numbers, in order to incorporate some type of organization.
Summary: We have not been able to find out what company they are asking
for the grant, which should be an easily accessible fact. We edited it for clarity, for
grammatical errors, and structural errors. It is a great summary once the changes
are made. Resembles ours a bit, so we know that both of our groups are on the same
basic page about the project. Comment examples include: In the first paragraph I
circled the word hotly because its informal diction, and I recommended using the
phrase average Americans instead of most Americans to clarify the statistic. In

the rest of the body I circled sentences in need of clarification and made comments
asking questions about certain statements.
Biographical sketch: Lack of clear information because of a lack of
communication about it from Dr. Brentrup. We dont know as a group if we can use
this in the grant proposal because of that reason. They gave an overview of Dr.
Brentrups professional career and background and the topic of environmentally
efficient building structures