Having known about Charlie and Raymonds background, the

followings are features of the photo album which make it the most
suitable gift for Charlie.
First of all, it will be a well-organised photo album in which I will stick
photos of Charlie and Raymond and make sure that in everypage
the size of photos is the same. The edges of the photos are exactly
one inch. This is because Raymond has a very special behaviour
making everything neat and tidy, also the symptoms of having
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. When Charlie first bring Raymond to
hotel, Raymond is dissatisfied about this and said he didnt want to
sleep there. It shous that Raymond is very straight-forward. It can
represent Raymond and make Charlie remember special
characteristic of Raymond. In the first few page of the album. I will
stick the childhood of Charlie and Raymond photos, some childish
sticker so as to create a wonderful atmosphere and write funny rain
man, funny teeth to be the description of the photo. During the
journey, Raymond said Funny Rain man funny teeth, Charlie
suddenly remember Rain Man is his secret friend when he was a
child and he was Raymond. Because of this sentence Charlie
remember the most memorable thing and realize Raymond is his
lovely brother.
The message behind the photo album is to record their precious
moments. They have been separated for many years and Raymond
lives in special hospital at the end. They live far away from each
other (PLEASE IMPROVE YOUR WRITING! IT IS WAY TOO MESSY.) so
that they cannot see the face of Raymond usually.
As Charlie realizes that familial love is extremely valuable in his life,
????. (you have to write the second part for the sentence
pattern As xxxx, xxxxx. xxxxxxxxx or xxxxxxxxxx)
Although Charlie is a selfish person in the beginning and he try to
kidnap Raymond who seems to behave ridiculously. Charlie has said
I took Raymond and Im keeping him until I get my money. He is
very concerned about money, finally he knows family (WHY DO YOU
KEEP REPEATING YOURSELF? THIS IS MEANINGLESS. YOU SHOULD
SEPARATE AND GROUP YOUR POINTS.)

1. Handwriting - this is unacceptable. No marker would be able

to read your handwriting if the paper is scanned and marked
on computer. Either you write the words BIGGER or you write
NEATLY.
2. Paragraphing the reasons are not separated in POINTS. I can
see FIRST OF ALL but where is the SECOND and THIRD? You
put all your points and explanation (which is the money and
familial love part) in every paragraph. Are there any points
you can separate from that? Or do you have new points?
a. The structure should look something like this:
i. Introduction
ii. Summary
iii. 1st reason (I cant see 3 reasons, there is only one
which is not clearly explained)
iv. 2nd reason
v. 3rd reason
vi. Conclusion
3. Proofreading we have been practising proofreading for quite
a few times by now. PLEASE PROOFREAD EVERY SINGLE TIME
after you have finished your work(even if the work is to be
marked by me because it is a GOOD PRACTICE FOR YOU).
Sample:
Having known about Charlie and Raymonds background, here are
the features of the photo album and the reason why I prepared this
gift.
First of all, it is going to be a photo album full of memories. (put your
most important point as the first point, what we have come up with
in brainstorming cannot be copied down directly. You HAVE TO
RESTRUCTURE and REORGANISE.) I am going to stick photos of
little Charlie and Raymond when they were playmates if they still
keep some. I will secretly make copies of those pictures and prepare
them nicely for the photo album. I am sure that this period of time
must be the most treasured memories between them. After the
childhood section, I am going to put in some photos when Raymond
is staying in the special hospital. This will allow Raymond to have a
better understanding to Charlies life when they were separated.
Lastly, it will be the section for the times they spent together after
Raymond picked up Charlie from the hospital. This journey helped
Raymond recall their relationship and realize the importance of life

is not all about money but love for family. Surely, a photo album
would be the best gift for Charlie to look back on the things
happened while they were together and also while they were
separated.
Secondly, there is strict requirement as to the layout of the photo
album. The caption must align with the photos neatly and the
margin on every page would be the same. When Charlie first bring
Raymond to hotel, Raymond is dissatisfied about this and said he
didnt want to sleep there. It is because Raymond has specific
requirements for the place he stays in, for the thing he uses and for
the food he eats. This is because Raymond has a very special
behaviour making everything neat and tidy, also the symptoms of
having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Therefore, the style of the
photo album is going to be clean, neat and simplistic. I am sure this
would remind Charlie of Raymond, making it the best gift ever.
Thirdly, I will try to ask Raymond to write a short note to Charlie at
the back of the photo album. Perhaps Raymond is not very good at
words, but Im sure that this will still be heart-warming for Charlie
even if it is only a few words. This also concludes the photo album in
the best way, giving weight to the album and making it more
special. I think that Charlie would love such a gift, over any other
materialistic and luxurious gifts, after realizing that it is the family
and love that matters in life. So that is all the reasons why I think a
photo album would be the best gift for him. Thank you!