Dear . . . . . .

Thank you for this well-organized essay which has a clear claim,
thorough analysis, and well-written conclusion. The title reflects the
content of the essay. I wish you identified the audience and
elaborated more on the two cartoons' ethos and logos. Here are
some points I would like you to pay attention to as well:
-It's important that one learns when to break a paragraph and start
a new one, to achieve coherence. A paragraph should have one
controlling idea. If there are two central ideas, then one needs to
break this paragraph.
-Let's avoid repetition.
-It's good to revise the rules of using the semi colon.
-To avoid abrupt transition, we need to make sure that the ideas are
related to and support our thesis statement.

Sincerely,
Ayah

Dear . . . . . . .. ,
Your essay is well written and well organized. It has a clear claim,
purpose and an intended audience. You did a great job when
providing your reader with a brief historical background of the
Syrian crisis and supporting it with in-text citation. You also gave a
strong, convincing analysis of the two image texts, drawing on
Aristotle's appeals. To make this essay stronger, the claim needs to
be more specific. You mentioned that the surrounding countries
should give help, but there is no mention of which countries.
Surrounding countries like Jordan, Lebanon, and Turkey are
overcrowded with Syrian refugees. Also, more elaboration on the
audience and the purpose of the two image texts is needed.
Moreover, the conclusion must be connected with the claim.
-Your paper is grammatically well written. Here are a few points to
pay attention to:
-Let's be careful to the Subject-Verb-Agreement Rule.
-A paragraph should have one controlling idea. If there are two
central ideas, then one needs to break that paragraph. If two
paragraphs have one controlling idea, why don't we join them?
-Let's careful to pronoun reference as a vague reference interrupts
the meaning of the sentence. For example, we refer to "pictures"
using "they", not "it".
-Revising the comma rules we discussed in class will lessen our
punctuation errors in writing.
-It's necessary to avoid abrupt transition by using sentence
connectors and by shunning irrelevant ideas.
Sincerely,
Ayah

Dear . . . . . . . . .,
Your analysis of the two image texts is thorough and convincing. To
make the essay stronger, it is important to write a clear claim and
have an intended audience. And to make it more organized, we
must try to get rid of sentence fragments, vague pronoun
references, and irrelevant ideas. Also, to build our ethos as writers,
we must document the information we searched for.
Here are other points I would like you to pay attention to:
-To achieve coherence, it's important that one learns when to break
a paragraph and start a new one. A paragraph should have one
controlling idea. If there are two central ideas, then one needs to
break this paragraph.
Sincerely,
Ayah

Dear . . . . . . . . ,
Your essay has a clear claim and purpose. You gave a strong,
convincing analysis of the two image texts, drawing on Aristotle's
appeals. To make the essay stronger, we need to identify the
audience, review the organization and placement of the paragraphs,
and connect the conclusion to the claim. Here are other points I
would like you to pay attention to:
-In academic writing, we must distance ourselves from our text to
make it more objective. Using the personal pronoun "I" or "we"
makes one's writing subjective.
-Revising the comma rules we discussed in class will lessen our
punctuation errors in writing.
-It's necessary to avoid abrupt transition by using sentence
connectors and by shunning irrelevant ideas.
-Let's be careful to pronoun references, for a vague pronoun
reference interrupts the meaning of the sentence.
Sincerely,
Ayah

Dear . . . . . . . . ,
Your analysis is thorough and convincing, and it appeals to my logos
and pathos as a reader. Your claim and purpose are clear, and your
quotes are strong. Also, you draw on the relationship between the
image and the text and connect the conclusion to your claim.
Furthermore, you built your ethos as a writer by documenting the
information you searched for. To make this essay stronger, we need
to identify the audience and elaborate on Aristotles appeals.
Here are some points I would like you to pay attention to:
-Revising the comma rules we discussed in class will lessen our
punctuation errors in writing.
-It's necessary to avoid abrupt transition by using sentence
connectors and by shunning irrelevant ideas.
-Let's be careful to pronoun references, for a vague pronoun
reference interrupts the meaning of the sentence.
-One way to avoid sentence fragment is reading aloud and making
sure that the sentence is grammatically and semantically complete.
-A paragraph should have one controlling idea. If there are two
central ideas, then one needs to break that paragraph. If two
paragraphs have one controlling idea, why don't we join them?
Joining them would help us avoid repetition.
-Repetition interrupts the smooth flow of ideas; therefore, avoiding it
is necessary.

Sincerely,
Ayah