Amirah Arafat

English 101
Essay 4
Amira I loved reading your paper! The topic is important, the solution is clear and common
sense and should reach an audience far more influential than your English teacher. Do you have
a student newspaper or community newspaper that you might consider submitting this toor
even consider submitting it as an OpEd to the Baltimore SunI could help you figure out how to
do it.
Healthy Bites Alternative Solution 121/130
On October 26th 2015, just a couple of weeks ago, the World Health Organization
officially declared that processed meats such as bacon, sausages, and hot dogs can cause cancer
or increase ones chances of getting the illness (World Health Organization). Cancer is a disease
in which abnormal cells divide uncontrollably and destroy body tissue (Cancer Overview). As
of 2007, about 1,444,920 cancer cases were expected to be diagnosed, and about 559,650
Americans were projected to die, which is more than 1,500 people a day (Cancer Facts &
Figures 2007). Recent 2015 statistics have even gotten more terrifying, 1,658,370 cancer cases
are expected to be diagnosed, and about 589,430 Americans are expected to die, which is about
1,620 people per day (Cancer Facts & Figures 2015). Cancer researchers and scientists have
not been able to successfully discover a cure for this despicable sickness; however, they have
been able to narrow cancer-causing factors down and educate the public. While we anxiously
await the cure everyone must do their individual part in protecting themselves and educating
those around them of this disease. With this newly released information we are able to take the
right precautions. Healthy Bites Co., a company that provides the finest in-store demonstrations

of food products throughout California, has made this process of cutting and eliminating
processed meats out of ones diet easier (HealthyCompany). Public Schools in Baltimore
County should follow Healthy Bites solution and have all of their students, starting from middle
school, create this journal and practice making healthy decisions regarding their food and meat
choices.
For most people living an average life it will be extremely hard to immediately stop
eating a large part of ones diet. Healthy Bite Co. has slowed the process down and created a
journal to track the amount of processed meat one is eating each week. By doing this they hope
one makes goals to eat less processed meat like bacon, hot dogs, and deli meat every week. Dr.
Christopher Wild, who directs IARC, said in a statement that a part of the problem was limiting
the intake of meat (World Health Organization). By implementing the journal into a ones life
one will be able to track ones processed meat intake each week and hopefully one will be able to
cut it down substantially over a long period of time. This solution does not cost anything, to
create a journal all one needs is a piece of paper, pen, and about ten minutes a week.
Baltimore County should make an effort to educate their students because in public
schools processed meat is the only option, by having students complete these journals they will
be able to make smarter and healthier choices by themselves both at school and at home. The
journal allows students to recall how many times they have eaten processed meat that week, what
their goal is for next week, who will help them achieve this goal, and last but least what their
reward will be if they accomplish this goal. The effect of using this journal is that eventually the
student will be able to plan steps to reduce the amount of processed meat daily. Support is the
best thing schools can offer their students when making healthy food choices, in addition to the
journals, schools can also academically teach students about the list of foods to keep in a

students diet and to eliminate. Healthy Bites has also provided a fun way to teach students this
information. On their website they have multiple charts, they recommend one eliminates foods
such as bacon, sausage, and hot dogs and replace them with Chicken or Turkey breast, fish, or
Plant proteins such as beans, legumes, and soy (How to choose...avoid). However, ultimately
limiting the amount of meat usage and eliminating processed meat from a students diet will
enable that student to follow the right nutritional track.
The World Health Organization officially declared that processed meats such as bacon,
sausages, and hot dogs can cause cancer or increase ones chances of getting the illness. (World
Health Organization) The issue of processed meats is extremely serious, the WHO now classifies
processed meat in the same category as smoking and asbestos based on its certainty of a link
with cancer. (World Health Organization) Children should be aware of their food choices and
start working towards limiting processed meats from their diet altogether. This is going to be a
long process, the journal alternative that was provided by Healthy Bites helps student improve
their lifestyles. Public Schools in Baltimore County should take the first step and follow Healthy
Bites solution and have all of their students, starting from middle school, create this journal and
practice making healthy decisions regarding their food and meat choices.

Work Cited

Briggs, Hannah. Beef me up: The healthy alternatives to cheap processed meat. BBC. 7 Mar.
2013. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.
Cancer Facts & Figures 2007 American Cancer Society. American Cancer Society, Inc, n.d.
Web. 5 Dec. 2015.
Cancer Facts & Figures 2015 American Cancer Society. American Cancer Society, Inc, n.d.
Web. 5 Dec. 2015.
Cancer Overview. WebMD. WebMD, LLC, n.d. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.
Healthy Bites Demo Company. Healthy Bites Demo Company. n.d. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.
How to choose a healthier lunch meat, and 6 key ingredients to avoid. Chateline. Rogers
Media, 27 Oct. 2015. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.
World Health Organization. "Processed meat can cause cancer." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 27
October 2015. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.
Your guide to eating less processed meat. The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer
Center. Jun. 2014. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.

ENGL 101
M. McCampbell
Fall 2015

ESSAY 4 - PROPOSAL
SCORING RUBRIC

Topic
Introductio
n
0 15
points
>15 weldone;
engages
the
reader

Thesis
0 10
points>1
0

Analyze
solution
and how
to
implement
it
0 15
points>
13 good
clear
directive
s and
connecti
ons;
however,
your
projectio
ns time
spans
should
be
clarified.
Evaluate
the

Does not meet C

0 7 points
States the
problem; vague
reference to
solution.

Meets C standard
8 - 12 points

0 4 points
Identifies the
solution; flat
statement about
the solution.

5 7 points

0 7 points
Flat statement of
how solution will
address problem
Does not include
affected group
Does not describe
the process of
implementation.

8 - 12 points

State the problem,

situation or enterprise;
support your reasoning
with researched
information to show how
there is a problem, a
needy situation or a worth
enterprise.

Identify the solution,

judges it, and shows its
relationship to the
problem, situation or
enterprise .

How it should address the

problem or fix it. At least
one verifiable statistic or
examples or detail and
cite it
Shows how affected group
will benefit(or not)
Describes the process,
costs and materials for
implementation

Exceeds C paper
13 15 POINTS
States the problem;
clear background;
clearly shows who
/what is affected;
comments about
available initiatives;
Specific appeal to the
audience.

8 10 points
Cites reasons for the
solution.

13 15 POINTS
Provides several
specific
examples/statistics/d
etails how solution
will address the
problem.
Gives specific
examples/evidence of
how the affected
group will benefit(or
not)
Clearly explains
implementation, cost,
materials and other
relevant detail.

0 7 points
Reports on
outcomes

8 - 12 points
Clearly stated judgment of

13 15 POINTS
Comments on the
quality of the solution

solution
0 15
points>
14
mostly
great;
some
niggling
clarificati
ons
indicated
in the
margin
notes.
Conclusio
n
05
points>5

Not
recommendation
Does not address
the affected
group or the
feasibility/practica
lity

solution
Projects effectiveness and
impact on affected group
Comments on the
practicality/feasibility of
the implementation
Support with researched
evidence.

and supports with

specific evidence
Comments on the
level of
feasibility/practicality
of the solution
Gives specific
details/examples.

0 2 point

3 4 points

5 points

Flatly summary of
problem, solution,
and whether is it
acceptable or not.
Brings up a new
subject.

Restates the final

judgment and connects
with the problem and how
well the solution will work.

Refers to topics
brought up in the
intro; indicates the
degree of challenge
the problem poses
and how the solution
can address it.

In-Text Citations
0 -10 points>10 Bravo!

Work Cited Entries

0 -5 points>3 one
citation is not included
in the essay
Quality of sources
0 -5 points>5

Paragraph Structure
0 -10 points>10

0 4 points
Material is not cited
correctly or
appropriately at least
three times; does not
follow MLA format.
0 2 point
MLA format is
haphazardly followed;
entries are not
alphabetized; uses URL
instead of citation.
Sources include
questionable credibility
or are personal sites
0 4 points
One or two topic
sentences missing;
Paragraphs lack unity

Coherence
0 -10 points>10

Paragraph not related to

topic;
Organization does not
follow a clear pattern;
Abrupt changes;

Diction
0 -10 points>10 Kudos

Wording is vague;
Words are confused

5 7 points
Most material is
correctly and
appropriately cited;
MLA format is correct

8 10 points
All material is correctly
and appropriately cited;
follows MLA format
without errors

3 4 points
Three sources are
on Work Cited list; list
is mostly correct; all
entries are
alphabetized
Sources are relevant
and credible; some
sources are not
clarified in the essay.
5 7 points
Clearly stated topic
sentences;
Paragraphs clearly
related to thesis
Paragraphs arranged
in logical order;
Ideas follow logical
development
Employs transitions
when necessary
Uses appropriate
pronouns;

5 points
All work cited entries are
correct.

All sources are relevant

and credible and clearly
identified in the essay
8 10 points
Topic sentences are
specifically worded and
link thesis and all
supporting material
Transitions move ideas
clearly throughout essay;
Ideas build on each
other to emphasize
thesis
Writers voice is clear
and authoritative;

for some nicely

phrased assertions!

with other meanings

Grammatical
conventions are
infracted;
Uses second pers prn;

Avoids redundant
wording;
Uses words correctly
Avoids slang and
worn out cliches

Errors (prorated / 500 words) 9+/2=4=16/20

TOTAL POINTS___>_________/130

Employs specific words;

employs active voice
and specific verbs;
Wording is concise