Running head: Adolescent paper

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Adolescent Paper
Cierra Aguirre
SW 3510
Jeannie Lawrence

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Abstract

This paper will describe the life experiences in my adolescent life that affected and still
affect me to this day. It will discuss issues related to sexuality, drugs, peer pressure, body image,
family dynamics, and issues of diversity. I will also be discussing different theories that
correspond with the experiences I had.

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Significant life events experienced during adolescence

When I was in the seventh grade, my parents got a divorce. I grew up with two parents
who argued over every single thing. They would sometimes go weeks without speaking a word
to each other. I hated growing up like that. I was always afraid to go home because I did not want
to hear them arguing. My father was a cheater, and he finally decided to leave my mother. The
fact that my father was a cheater made me have trust issues. I also have always had a fear to get
close to anyone. Once I seen how easy it was for my dad to walk away from my family, I was
scared that everyone was going to do the same thing.
When I was a freshman in high school, my grandfather died. This was one of the toughest
experiences that I have ever been through. My grandpa was my best friend, and I was with him
every day. He died suddenly, so I was not prepared for the loss. He was going to visit my aunt,
who was dying of cancer, in California. His heart stopped all of a sudden, and he died on the
spot. I still remember the day he died and can replay it perfectly in my head. I cried for weeks
after he died, and to this day I cry whenever I think about him.
Affect these life events and issues had on you at the time and may currently still have on
you
When I was experiencing my parents divorce, I became very isolated from everyone in
my life. I remember not talking to anyone in school, never playing outside with my friends, and
never wanting to leave my room. I was always upset and I resented my father for the pain that he
was putting us through. It still affects me today, as I have extreme trust issues with other people.
This has made having personal relationships very difficult, because I always think that other
people cannot be trusted. Since I grew up with a cheating father and parents who were divorced,
having my own relationship has been challenging. I always think that my boyfriend is somehow

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going to hurt me or cheat on me since my dad did it, even though my boyfriend is completely
opposite from my father. This fear stems from my childhood, and it is a challenge for me to
remember that just because one person did it, not everyone will do it.
Sexuality
I grew up in a heterosexual household, where I was never really exposed to homosexual
relationships. I also attended a Catholic school from first to eighth grade. While I was in Catholic
school, I began to learn that men and women should be together, and anything else was wrong. I
was also told that sex before marriage was wrong. Sex was supposed to be something between
married couples. After the eighth grade, I attended a public high school. Here, I faced something
like a culture shock. I was surrounded by teenagers who were obsessed with the idea of sex.
Everyone would hold hands and kiss in the hallways, and almost all of my friends were sexually
active. I was so shocked when I seen what was going on. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend
until I was eighteen years old. My parents had very strict rules for me. I was not allowed to
hangout alone with a boy, and I still have a curfew to this day. My mother taught me that the
most important thing was getting an education and that love would come later.
My mother has always been very open with me about sex. She had the talk with me,
explaining how everything worked and the different parts that males and females have. I was
always comfortable enough to ask her any questions that I had, or to tell her about my feelings.
She always made sure that I was educated for the day when I was sexually active. She explained
to me what a condom was, and told me that when I started to think about becoming sexually
active to tell her so she could make sure I was protected. My father, however, was never open
with me about sex, and to this day he has never talked to me about it.

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I met my first boyfriend when I was eighteen years old. My parents were very traditional
when it came to me getting a boyfriend. He had to ask my parents permission when he wanted to
date me. Also, we were never allowed to be alone. Luckily, my boyfriend came from a strict
Catholic family as well, so he had most of the same rules that I did. We have been together for
three and a half years now, and I do plan to marry him. When we became sexually active, I did
not hesitate to tell my mother. She has been open with me every step of the way, and I am
thankful that I have a reliable source for any questions or information I may need.
Drugs
The only drug that I was ever around while I was growing up was alcohol. My fathers
side of the family was really big on drinking. However, when my father and my mother would
get drunk, their arguing would get worse. For this reason, I do not like when people get drunk,
and I never get drunk myself. I do not mind having a few drinks when I go out, but I never let
myself get to the point where I am considered drunk. I am scared of drunk people, because I am
afraid that there is going to be fighting. I believe that because my parents fought worse when
they would drink, I associate being drunk with conflict.
Peer Pressure
I never really experienced any serious peer pressure. The only issues with peer pressure
were the ones that dealt with my body image. I was always a chubby person, and the girls that I
was surrounded by were perfect, tall, and skinny. I always felt that I would always stand out
because of my weight. I always tried to diet and eat healthy, but it never worked.
I also used to get made fun of because of the fact that I never had a boyfriend. My first
kiss did not happen until I was seventeen years old, and I did not want it. Someone shocked me
and kissed me out of nowhere, and I still remember that I went home crying. I was taught that

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those things were to be saved for someone you love. My friends, however, always wanted to
have boyfriends and to go out and drink and have sex. I also used to get made fun of because I
had a curfew. I was never allowed to go out, I could not get in the car with a boy, and I could
never spend the night anywhere. My parents had a very authoritative parenting style where they
accepted my feelings and opinions, but they placed their own limitations on my actions (Ashford,
334).
Body Image
When I was growing up, I was a chunky girl. I was short and I weighed a lot. Since as
early as I can remember, my paternal grandmother would tell me that I was fat and ugly. I always
tried to look pretty and get a compliment from her. She would not take me anywhere because she
would tell me that she did not want me to embarrass her in front of her friends. All of my
childhood memories of my grandmother are of her telling me that I was fat. I used to cry in my
room for hours, hating myself. She would always tell me that I was an embarrassment to the
family and that I needed to stop eating.
Since I dealt with this the whole time I was growing up, I had major body issues. I was
always chubby, no matter what I did. I have suffered from Bulimia twice, and those were some
of the lowest times of my life. The first time was when I was fifteen. The second time I had it
was just because she got into my head and I started to hate myself and the way that I looked. I
would barely eat anything and the little amount that I did eat would be thrown up shortly after.
This went on for about four months, and I remember crying and being so hurt that my own
family could make me feel this way. I finally told my mother what was going on, and she worked
with me to get myself out of this low point. She put me on a healthy diet and made sure that I ate

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every day. I ended up losing forty pounds in a healthy way, and then my grandmother finally
approved of me. However, because of how she treated me, I do not like to be around her.
To this day, I am still extremely self-conscious about my body. I am constantly dieting
and exercising. Every time I feel bad about the way I look, I have to face the temptation of
making myself throw up. There are some days where this is easy, and other days where this is
really hard. I am slowly getting to the point where I can accept myself for the way that I look. I
hate the fact that I am this way, but I know that it is because I was traumatized from experiencing
this hate my entire childhood. I also always worry about what others think about the way I look.
If someone tells me that I look nice, I think that they are just saying this because I look fat and
they feel bad for me. I always think that people are staring at me and judging me. This relates to
the idea of adolescent egocentrism as according to David Elkind. This idea states that a person
becomes obsessed with another persons opinion and takes it in a self-conscious way, which is
exactly what I do when I receive compliments (Ashford, 441).
Family Dynamics
When I was growing up, both of my parents worked. However, my father worked during
the week, and my mother only worked on Saturdays and Sundays. My parents made sure that my
sister and I always had one parent to be with. My father was also the main provider for my
family when I was growing up. He had a great job and we were well off as a family. We would
go on vacations every summer and always had new clothes to wear. When my parents got
divorced, however, things changed. My father moved out, and left my mother trying to take care
of two children and a house on her own. She ended up having to go back to school and starting a
new career.

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My mother was always there to help me with schoolwork. Education was always first in
her eyes, and she wanted me to be successful. However, she was so strict with school that if I did
not receive all As, I would feel as though I disappointed her. I would be grounded if I got
anything lower than an A. I grew up thinking that I had to be perfect. This has led to issues of me
being compulsive and a perfectionist. I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder, Anxiety, and Depression. Although I am thankful for my mother and know that if she
was not there to help me with my schoolwork I would not be where I am today, I do feel as
though this immense pressure I felt as a child has carried into my adult life.
Issues of Diversity
Since I am Mexican, I have darker physical features. When I attended Catholic school, I
was the only non-white student. I used to get made fun of all of the time. People used to tell me
that my back was wet from swimming across the border, or that I could not find a crayon dark
enough for my skin color in my self-portraits. I never understood why the children were so mean
to me, because I thought I looked the same as them. However, I was made fun of for many years
for being different.
When I finally understood why I was being made fun of, I was very sad. I did not
understand why the children were making fun of me for something that I could not change. I
relate this to the idea of social cognition, which is how much you are aware of others feelings or
thoughts. When I was a young child, I did not fully understand why they were being mean to me.
However, as I grew older, I knew what they were trying to do. This shows that over time, my
social cognition developed and I was able to understand that they were being rude to me because
of their own ideas and prejudices (Ashford, 441).

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I thought that because I could speak two languages, I would be able to make more
friends. However, in reality, I made fewer friends. Everyone though that I was this weird
Mexican girl who spoke a weird language and did not want anything to do with me. This made
me appreciate being different even more. Instead of being sad, I would be proud that I was
different from them, and not let their rude comments affect me.
Since I have many cultures in my family including German, Mexican, Native American,
and Irish, I have been exposed to many different traditions and lifestyles. I am thankful for this,
because it has allowed to me to be a better-rounded person. I love and accept diversity, and I
think it is amazing that so many people believe different things. I have never felt any feelings of
hate or disgust towards another person simply because of their skin tone. All of the
discrimination that I experienced in my life has allowed me to gain a better appreciation of
diversity.

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Reference

Ashford. & LeCroy, C. (2013). Human behavior in the social environment : a multidimensional
perspective. Australia Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning