Kamlesh D.

Patel

Ka m l esh D. Pa te l

When I sought Him

in the heavens,
He was so far away.
So I sought within
and found Him here.
But tell me: Of what difference
is within and without
or near and far
when both He and I remain?
At times He is the Beloved
and at times He is the lover!
The game goes on
The goal of the Raja Yogi is to abide in
Reality. This state is generally described
as merger between the individual self and
God. In spirituality, all achievement is
only in proportion to the negation of self.
The loss of self does not indicate a physical
death, but the loss of individuality. Anyone
claiming to have achieved anything in
spirituality cannot really have done so,
due to his continued awareness of his own
existence. As such, reaching the goal can
also be described as not reaching it. It is not
that the person has fallen short of the goal,
but rather that he cannot reach it while
retaining his individual existence. Therefore,
if any person claims to have attained it, we
may ask, Who is making this claim?

In spirituality, all achievement

is only in proportion to
the negation of self.
The notion that we progress towards the goal
is only partly legitimate. In mathematics,
there is the example of the asymptote,
which is a line that is approached by a curve,
intersecting it only at infinity. The curve
comes infinitely close to the line but the two
never meet.

A highly advanced aspirant who retains

his individuality is like that curve, forever
approaching the goal without ever arriving.
The progress of such a person becomes
impossible to measure, as he remains both
infinitely close and infinitely far from the
object. While he may be highly advanced,
any measurable distance is meaningless in
comparison to infinity.
Ancient scriptures describe the interplay
between God and the individual soul as
being like water in the ocean and water
that is contained in a jug. Similarly, it can
be described as the space outside a room

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and the space inside a room. How would

you describe that same space if the walls
were removed and inside and outside no
longer existed? Those walls are your identity
your self-awareness. Just as the existence
of a room creates outside and inside, the
illusion of your existence creates God and
the individual soul.
We prefer to be near to Him than to be far
away, but even if He resides in the core of
our hearts both He and I still remain. God
and the individual soul form an inviolable
polarity in which both are eternally distinct
from one another. In this sense, both God
and the individual soul are limited, and, as
such, both must be transcended.
Our feeling of distance from God reflects
this polarity. It is because we dont perceive
the essential quality of our own soul, and
this prevents us realizing its sameness with
God. Although the soul is ever pure and
changeless, we lack its awareness because
of the numerous impurities that settle in
our consciousness and encase the soul.
Therefore, we remain unaware of the souls
existence and it does not illuminate our
consciousness as it could.
Through the practice of Raja Yoga, the
veils are progressively removed and our
awareness expands. Finally, our awareness
reaches a level of soul-consciousness where
only the bare identities of God and soul
remain. This represents a threshold that can
never be crossed so long as the soul retains
its ego-awareness. When ego-awareness is

lost, God also disappears and the polarity

is finally resolved. God and self are only
perspectives, based upon mutual limitation.
When you are there, He is not there, but
when you are not there, He also disappears.

Through the practice

of Raja Yoga, the veils are
progressively removed
and our awareness expands.
Finally, our awareness reaches
a level of soul-consciousness
where only the bare identities
of God and soul remain.
What remains? Only That, which has no
description or substance, for there is nothing
apart from it by which it may be contrasted
and understood. Neither does it exist, nor
does it not exist. It may be termed as the
conditionless condition, or the stateless
state.
The beginning of the spiritual journey
marks the onset of joy, purity, peace and
many other beautiful conditions. These are
signs that we have stepped onto the path,
but their intensity eventually dwindles.
When purity first dawns in us, we deeply
enjoy its freshness. However, what we feel is
not actual purity, but the contrast with our
previous state of impurity. As we become

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Ka m l esh D. Pa te l

increasingly pure, there is less and less

impurity from which to feel relief, so the
feeling of purity bids farewell. In fact, our
unawareness of purity becomes the proof of
our purity. In this way, we go on experiencing
less and less of every condition until, finally,
there is no experience of anything.

we go on experiencing
less and less of every condition
until, finally, there is
no experience of anything.

During meditation, we sink into deeper

and deeper levels of samadhi, getting lost
in its depths. Each time we surface, our
consciousness remains somewhat drowned
in it, and we start to become forgetful of
our individual existence. We call this the
remembrance of God, but if it still contains
the idea of God it is actually not the real
experience of God, but the individual self.
To the extent that our ego remains, the state
is defective and we enjoy that defectiveness.
This enjoyment presents a special problem
on the road to perfection. The ego, though
somewhat refined, retains self-awareness in
proportion to its continued existence. Now
it begins to enjoy the effects of being lost.
In other words, it enjoys its freedom from
itself. This subtle self-awareness represents
a paradox, becoming a bondage to further
progress. It is not completely counter-

productive, however, as it encourages us

further along the way.
Love and devotion also bring the object
nearer. Love consists of the lover, love and
the Beloved. Devotion requires the devotee,
devotion, and the Deity. Selflessness only
dawns when the self becomes extinct, so
love and devotion, being selfless in nature,
have no meaning until then.
As long as we remain lovers and devotees,
we still exist, and that is proof that there
is no real love or devotion. And once we
disappear, we no longer exist to love or
to be devoted; nor is there a Beloved or a
Deity. Therefore, love and devotion never
come to be, but in another sense they are
consummated in their negation and fulfilled
in their irrelevance.

One day, we sink so deeply

into nothingness
that we never return,
though we remain alive and active
in the world. This represents
the dissolution of our individuality
and our submergence
in the whole.
The attempt at love and devotion is extremely
beneficial to an aspirant because it orients
him towards his object and away from

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himself. Love and devotion also promote a

state of resignation to Gods will. This state
prevents the formation of desires, which is
beneficial as desires increase individuality.

in That, of which there can be neither

awareness nor experience. This distinction is
both tiny and immense.

One day, we sink so deeply into nothingness

that we never return, though we remain
alive and active in the world. This represents
the dissolution of our individuality and our
submergence in the whole.

After the ego dissolves,

there is nobody to know or
experience, nor is there anything
to be known or experienced.
This is why no one
has ever known or experienced
God.

Without the ego, we do not exist to experience, know or be aware. Like love
and devotion, experience requires an
experiencer, experience and that which is
to be experienced. Knowledge requires a
knower, knowledge and the known. Only
the ego can know or experience. Because
the ego has no access to Reality, experience
and knowledge can only be that of illusion.
Therefore, such experience is false. After
the ego dissolves, there is nobody to know
or experience, nor is there anything to
be known or experienced. This is why no
one has ever known or experienced God.
Even if we become perfect saints, it cannot
happen.
Although neither the saint nor the regular
person experiences God, it is for entirely
different reasons. A normal person does
not experience God due to his remoteness
from Him, while the perfect saint cannot
experience God due to his own non-being.
A normal person experiences unreality,
which is impossible for the saint. We live in
unreality, of which we have false awareness
and experience, while the saint abides

There is a lot to learn about love. When a

person said, I have fallen in love, Master
used to make fun of it. He would say,
Look, you have fallen, as if some major
accident had happened. When we say, In
love I have fallen, then it makes a lot of
sense, since here the I-ness has fallen. This
also explains why most love marriages fail,
because the I is too busy loving. Here the I
dominates; it is I who is in love. And in the
process when love demands consummation
of the self, for the sake of love, where is the
question of I?
That is the moment when we start rebelling:
Oh, now I am going to dissolve and be
annihilated in this relationship. Then we
become protective, and then limitation
starts and the so-called love fails. So loving
means going beyond self, and transcending
this I that we are so busy with.

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In the Gita, the Lord says to Arjuna,

Kaalosmi, meaning, I am time. When we
utilize time more effectively, trying to finish
things in shorter and shorter periods, it
means we are utilizing the Lords resources
very effectively. The same Gita talks about
existing in this world like the lotus in the
mud, unattached to the mud but blooming
beautifully. When we master this lifestyle,
going beyond the surroundings like the lotus,
we tend to become eligible for liberation. In
reality, however, mastering this means going
beyond time transcending time, finishing
things before time consumes us at the final
moment. To my understanding, when we
finish our business, reaching the destination
before the end comes, that is going beyond
time.

Surrender is the key.

In surrender, the openness of
the heart of the lover is able to
resonate with the Beloved
In love, the pressing need
to understand the other bids
farewell. When you are so
absorbed in love, where is
the time to analyze the other?
Surrender is the key. In surrender, the
openness of the heart of the lover is able to
resonate with the Beloved. This is why these

two lovers understand each other so very

differently from two individuals who cannot
even see eye to eye. In love, the pressing
need to understand the other bids farewell.
When you are so absorbed in love, where is
the time to analyze the other?
Does it make any sense to surrender to some
unknown person, or to a book, or to a place?
What became of the great Bhishma, the
lover and protector of a mere place called
Hastinapur? What shall I gain by having
an attitude of surrender towards a book on
philosophy? I may get some knowledge,
but will I become in the process? It is
this becoming which is very important to
the lover, to become in every way like the
Beloved. We become more and more like
the Beloved, where there is less and less of
oneself, culminating in zero-ness of oneself !
We dare to move towards nothingness.
This way, in love we transcend, and ultimately we go beyond our lower self, only to
find and realize the Higher Self.

In love we transcend, and

ultimately we go beyond our
lower self, only to find and realize
the Higher Self.
This article was compiled from an article written by
Kamlesh D. Patel earlier in 2015 and a talk given by
him at the Molena Ashram in Georgia USA on the 16th
of June 2015. The text has been edited for publication.

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