Lopez 1!

Cindy Lopez
Jennifer Rodrick
English 114B
March 30, 2016
Societies Control on Identity
In our society where conformity is important, all individuals way of being is shaped
according to others and what they have to say. The idea of fitting in is put into everyones head,
where at one point in life they are forced to deal with this situation of fitting in with the people
they are surrounded by. This situation is ordinary in our society and can happen multiple times,
even as one gets older, we may often find ourselves conforming to others lifestyle. Being
different is not necessarily ideal because people have the impression that one must follow the
social norms and not ever challenge them. One must be and look a certain way to please others
rather than please ourselves. The reassurance and acceptance of other people is important to
many so that they determine who they are and alter their identities. Even if one does not have to
change, society and social surroundings certainly drive people to conform and with their power a
persons self-identity is significantly shaped.
Social surroundings are a vital part in the shaping of identities, the environment and who
we are surrounded by has a huge relevance to the results of who we are as person. Also, during
our youth it is when we are especially integrated by society and their ideas of how one should be
and not be. The social norms that are set for us are seen as a must to live up to. Everyone wants
to fit in and by living up to certain expectations, you are accepted by to the rest of society.
Following what others define as wrong and right has essentially became a custom. No one really

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hesitates to question why one must be a certain way and opts to just follow along. What other
people have to say about one is taken seriously. If people think one is wrong for being different
then we would want to change to accommodate others and meet their standards to be considered
normal.
With teens this issue can certainly be spotted, at this stage in their life I would say that
just about everyone is all ears on how they should look and be; to be cool and accepted. If one
was any different they will stand out and be seen as odd. In The Norton Reader: An Anthology of
Nonfiction, What Is a Homosexual? by Andrew Sullivan, we see this situation where he as a
homosexual defers his real identity because of what other people would think of him. Sullivan
does not want to step out of the norm everyone lives in so instead he controls who he is to
operate in that environment. The story of him living as a gay adolescent in high school shows
just how much affect society and his social surroundings had on him. Sullivan states how the
homosexual learns to make distinctions between his sexual desire and his emotional longings
not because he is particularly prone to objectification of the flesh, but because he needs to
survive as a social and sexual being. The society separates these two entities, and for a long time
the homosexual has no option but to keep them separate (128). He shows just how he learns and
follows certain standards set by society that are not fit to who he is. His sexuality was not all
figured out, he might have not known what he was, but he was certainly aware of what he was
not able to do which is rightful in the eyes of society.
Doing the normal things any normal heterosexual teen did was something Sullivan was
not capable of. Instead, he found ways to get away of those situations and deferred his real
identity by hiding it and getting more involved in his school work. This method of opting to hide

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ones real identity is a commonality and a way of coping for some. Being able to fit in is all that
matters because there is a fear of being different and weird. There is a constant fear of rejection
and the existence of such ideas being public for everyone to know of creates an understanding of
what is right and wrong in society.

People conforming to please others is a huge part of seeking acceptance from society.
Our way of being is shaped by certain situations and people that come along in our life, whether
it is positively or negatively. In The Norton Reader: An Anthology of Nonfiction, Black Men and
Public Space by Brent Staples, a Black man, talks about his experiences to being seen as
dangerous because of his appearance. Staples shares that he has had encounters with others as he
is simply walking or crossing the street, where people become frightened and cautious of him
and what he would do to them. He states my first victim was a womanwhite, well dressed,
probably in her early twenties. I came upon one evening on a deserted street in Hyde Parkas I
swung onto the avenue behind her, there seemed to be a discreet, inflammatory distance between
us. Not so. She cast back a worried glance. To her, the youngish black mana broad six feet two
inches with try jacketseemed menacingly close. After a few more quick glimpses, she picked
up her pace and was soon running in earnest.Within seconds she disappeared into a cross
street (188). Staples referred to her as his first victim, as it was the first time this situation

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happened to him. People he came across with become worried for ultimately nothing, when he
was not even dangerous and had no intentions whatsoever. As a result of these reoccurring
situations, he had to accommodate and change his behavior when around people. He became
more wary and kept more of a distance in order for others not to fear him. These situations
occurred because of the stereotypes that exist about Black people which others are very aware of.
Conformity here is seen, as he did change his way of being for the sake of others and his own
image. He did not want to continue being seen as this dangerous man just because he was
Black. Our image is an essential part of our identity and definitely has an affect on how others
see us and how we see ourselves, and here we see Brent Staples having to overcome that issue.
There is always a part in us that wants to be continually accepted and liked by others, and
that is never really the case. We will not always fit everyones ideas of being perfect and
normal, so to fit in we attempt to go by the book. Changes are made in accordance to what is
common in our social surroundings, what other peoples lifestyles, looks, and personalities are
like all influence our conformity. It is essentially as if society and our social surroundings control
us, they have the power to shape ones identities. The invisible strings tug on us everyday, urging
us to fit in with the crowd and follow all these ideas put into our heads by society.

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Societies shaping in our identity, for the most part, is negative. We get the idea that we
have to be someone else rather than ourselves to be liked and to fit in. Our true selves are then
hidden or buried, and sometimes never really found again. There are so many aspects of us being
changed to conform with our social surroundings and our real identity is no longer existent. In
Wings: Distinguished Student Essays, Identity Crisis in the Space of Conformism by Jasmine
Ruffin, we see just that. Ruffin shows how the space we live in alters our behavior and brings
changes upon our identity because of our desire for acceptance. She also mentions how this
alteration in behavior and identity is a part of conformism. Conformism or conformity, is an
important concept that is carried out by many people just to please others and feel right in the
space they are in. Ruffin states that conformity isan issue in the majority of spaces because of
the need to escape the judgment of others. The fear of being judged for being different is a
constant factor in ones head. Usually when one does something that is not right or common in
society, we think and consider what others would say. There is reliance on others judgment,
positive or negative, one always cares what others have in mind about us.
Our society is detrimental and our identities are a huge target that is affected. Ones selfidentity is definitely shaped by the space around us, and society as a whole is the most impactful.
Many ideas flow around, carried out by society which influence us to change and conform
according to them. Altering our identities for the sake of being like the rest and having
acceptance from the people surrounding us, is really what matters to many. No one ever wants to
be judged and wants to live a life being fully accepted. Society makes us think we must be and
live a certain way to fit in, and that is all it takes for us to change aspects of our identity and
ultimately conform.

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Works Cited
Staples, Brent. Black Men and Public Space. The Norton Reader: An Anthology of Nonfiction.
Ed. Linda H. Peterson, John C. Brereton. Joseph Bizup, Anne E. Fernald, and Melissa A.
Goldthwaite. Shorter 13th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 127-131.
Print.
Sullivan, Andrew. What Is A Homosexual? The Norton Reader: An Anthology of Nonfiction.
Ed. Linda H. Peterson, John C. Brereton. Joseph Bizup, Anne E. Fernald, and Melissa A.
Goldthwaite. Shorter 13th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 188-190.
Print.
Ruffin, Jasmine. Identity Crisis in the Space of Conformism. Wings: Distinguished Student
Essays. Ed. Melissa Malvin-Middleton, Emily Olson, Rachel Dulaney, and Jennifer E.
Lee. 22nd ed. California State University, Northridge, 2016. 44-47. Print.
Society Killed The Teenager. Tumblr. n.d. Web. 25 Mar. 2016. (photo)
Society Controlling You. Tumblr. n.d. Web. 25 Mar. 2016. (photo)
Society Art. Google. n.d. Web. 25 Mar. 2016. (photo)