Stress Management

What is stress? While I think that the causes of stress can be somewhat relative
depending on the person, I believe most people define stress the same: A state of
mental tension or worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc. 1 In this paper I will
examine some of the major causes of stress and how to cope with it. I will do this by
explaining results of stress tests that I took, showing new things that I did to cope with
that stress and how those things affected it.
The first of the tests that I took was called The Traditional College Student
Stress Scale. This test has a rating system for different things that could be going on in
a college students life including contracting an STD, having a boyfriend/girlfriend cheat
on you, ending a steady relationship, serious illness in a close friend or family member,
sense of overload in school or work, etc. The test assigns a score to each item and the
higher your score the higher your vulnerability to stressors.
I found this particular part of the test interesting: Notice that it doesnt necessarily
say the higher your score the more stressed out you are, but rather the higher your
vulnerability to stressors. You could be going through a highly ranked stressor, but due
to your low vulnerability, handle it very well, or possibly not even be stressed out. This is
an important distinction to make about stress. First of all, in order to properly deal with
stress, we as individuals need to take a step back and determine what exactly is
causing the stresswhat is the stressor? A stressor is defined as something specific
that causes stress.2 For instance, if you are stressed out about work, the stressor would
be because you have a heavy work load.

Another interesting thing about this test is the psychology that can be observed
about the average college student. For instance, some of the lowest scoring stressors
are attending an athletic event or getting sick, while some of the highest scoring
stressors are death of a close friend or ending a steady relationship. I think that is why
this tests title includes Traditional College Student. Perhaps at other stages of your
life, you the ratings would be different.
My score on this test was in the upper numbers, scoring higher than 60% of other
students. Ive always known that I was a higher-stress individual, but this test gave me a
chance to analyze why, to find the stressors. Personal success is my number one
stress. It has always been important for me to feel successful, and for this to be
validated by other people. The stressors: My job: I am the General Manager of a caf
responsible for over 2 million dollars worth of sales each year; School: While most of
my friends are graduating with Masters Degrees right now, Im still in my freshman year
of college. To me, these two things are a trade-off. I would not have been as successful
in my career if I would have focused on school. Unfortunately, while my job pays well,
its a high-stress position, which is a separate stressor from personal success.
Relationships have also always been very important to me. My relationship
status and my ability to charm other people have taken a huge effect on the rest of my
life. If I am in a relationship, fighting with my partner or ending the relationship will stress
me out. When things are going well, or more importantly I get to spend a lot of time with
my partner, it makes me happy and even reduces stress. It seems to me that my job
can also have an adverse effect on my relationship.

The second test determined whether I have an Internal or External Locus of

Control. Locus of control is an individuals viewpoint on whether they have control over
stress or not.3 It came as no surprise to me that I have an Internal Locus of Control. I
take a high amount of accountability for things, even when they might not be directly my
responsibility, and I have a can-do, anything is possible attitude.
The third test is what surprised me. The test was titled Coping with Stress
Inventory. This test showed me that most of the ways that I handle stress are
somewhat avoidant. Probably one of the most damaging ones that I noticed was I
ignore my own needs and just work harder and faster. I think that I could attribute that
the highest quantity and merit of stress comes from my job; and my reaction at my job is
to take the bullet every time. If someone calls in and no one else can cover the shift, I
work 5 more hours on top of the 12 that I already did. There was an entire month last
year that I did not have a day off. While some of this gave me purpose and success in
my job, it was incredibly unhealthy for me as an individual. The test results showed that
more than 50% of the ways I handle stress are unhealthy.
I took some time to determine three habits that I could change to better my
management of stress in my life. The first one started off before this class, and took a
little fine tuning to turn into a good idea. Some of the stresses in my relationship were
coming from my partner not wanting to spend as much time with me as Id like. My
solution was to fill my own free time so that I wasnt alone while he was out not
spending time with me. I signed up for classes, joined a gym, started volunteering at the
Humane Society, overbooked my schedule with meetings and social events, and of
course, took on more responsibility at work.

Filling my time did keep me from feeling alone when my boyfriend was off doing
other things. However, this was the classic unhealthy response of ignoring my own
needs and working harder. The result of this solution was more stress; perhaps not on
my relationship, but on me as an individual. After doing this for a while, I decided that a
better idea would be learning to be okay with being alone. As I began to spend time
alone, but not necessarily always doing something, my anxiety about it went away and
reduced stress on my relationship and my own life.
Getting used to spending time alone was difficult. I seem to have developed
some sort of an anxiety about being alone. Pushing through the anxiety is difficult, but
when I do, Im fine! Im usually doing something productive or relaxing and doing
something that I like, and even though Im alone, I dont feel anxious like I do when I
think about being alone.
The second thing that I tried to cope with stress was seriously focusing on an
exercise program. Exercise has always been something that Ive had trouble committing
to. So this time, I put my money down. I signed a contract and hired a personal trainer
for four months. The results were amazing! Not only was exercise helping add a more
organized schedule to my day and get me in better shape, but it gave me more
confidence and was a great outlet for stress. It seems like making and breaking habits is
difficult, even when you can logically determine that a habit is helpful to your stress
management. Having a personal trainer helped get me in the habit of working out.
The last technique I tried was a little more biological. I seem to have trouble
sleeping, especially when there are things on my mind. Over the years Ive developed
night-time rituals or little habits to help trigger my mind that it is time to go to sleep. I

tried meditating a little before bed. Though it didnt seem so at the time, there was a lot
more to it than I thought! I went and bought a Stress Relief candle (it was wonderfully
scented with lavender, chamomile and other relaxing aromas. I also got a similarlyscented body oil. Every night about twenty minutes before bed, I would light the candle,
rub some of the oil on my chest, and then just sit and think about the day. Most days my
boyfriend would be there to chat with. I big part of our discussions was usually things
that wed learned about school.
Some nights, especially if I was very tired, it was hard to convince myself to do
this. Some nights I just didnt. I can honestly say that the nights that I did, I slept better;
and if you can believe it, sleeping better has made a lot of things a lot better. Its all
about creating that habit and sticking to it.
As life goes on I suppose well all make choices to change behavior and ease up
our personal stress. Ive had to make some tough decisions over the last few months.
Over the years Ive made a lot of commitments to keep myself busy; and Im in the
process now of letting some of those go. The biggest decision was made just two weeks
agoIm quitting my job. As fulfilling as running a restaurant has been, Ive made the
decision that the time involved, and more-so how easy it is for me to ignore my
concerns and just work harder, it is not worth the amount of stress that it creates. Ive
been fortunate to be offered a position in another field that is more relaxing, with less
hours, less demands, and will give me the opportunity to continue my education, get
more sleep, continue the gym, and have some free time for myself.
So you can see from this, stress is an everyday part of life! While our stressors
may matter less or more depending on age and circumstance, our vulnerability and the

methods that we use to cope with our stress is what will make or break us. Throughout
this class and project, I have learned that the best things for me to do are to get a good
nights rest, continue exercising and make sure not to over book my schedule to avoid
certain things.

Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 27 Apr. 2016.

Meyers, Kimberly. Stress and Health. Psychology Class. SLCC-Redwood Campus,

Taylorsville. January 26th, 2016. Lecture.
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Schacter, Daniel L. Psychology. 3rd ed. New York: Worth, 2009. Print.