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Jerry Hernandez
Prof. Deadrick
ENGL 102
4/11/16
Gender Miscommunication
Miscommunication is a common challenge between men and women. It can often lead to
disagreements, hurt feelings, and even end relationships. Gender miscommunication is an
important social topic to explore because it is something everyone will experience in their life. In
many instances men and women have suffered from miscommunication throughout history.
Whether it be with a significant other, coworker, or friend it can happen to anyone.
Miscommunication can occur for a variety of reasons, but often times it happens when one
person misinterprets the meaning behind what someone says. The way something is interpreted
can often mean the difference between remaining close with someone or severing ties with them
forever. While it is a common problem between men and women in todays society, there are not
many solutions since it is such a normal part of life. Miscommunication between genders can
reach far beyond being just a disagreement, but can also result in gender inequality as well.
Exploration of this topic came across different sources pertaining to it, some of which are from
renowned authors. Recent research and studies have proved to highlight causes of
miscommunication between genders and how to respond in certain situations. Gender
miscommunication stems from natural brain function and is prevalent in social media,
relationships, and work environments.

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In order to understand why gender miscommunication is so prevalent around the world, it

must be understood why it happens in the first place. The first source that appeared was an online
article from 2013 by Elizabeth Bernstein titled, Bonds: On Relationships: Relationship Talking
Points: Speak Your Spouse's Language. Bernstein is a writer for the Wall Street Journal who has
earned many awards in her career. She begins her article by discussing a recent study conducted
by the University of Pennsylvania that may answer why men and women have different social
behaviors. The study presented visual support to what most people already thought, that
women, in general, may be better wired for multitasking and analytical thought, which require
coordination of activity in both hemispheres. Men may be better wired for focused linear tasks
that require attention to one thing at a time (Bernstein, 2013). The study explains why it is that
women are able to communicate their emotions better than men. The article is a critical piece of
information to know since I learned that different gender behaviors arent always learned, but
instead are wired into the brain. Because of the study, I was able to better understand what it is in
our bodies that cause men to not always react to certain emotions the same way that women do.
Men will often times show small amounts of emotions as it could be how they were raised or
they may feel uncomfortable doing so. Bernstein states that although men dont express as much
emotion verbally, that doesnt mean they dont care. She advises both genders to "Try to speak
the language of the other person" (Bernstein) as a way to help communicate better.
Understanding the science behind it led me to question the different ways men and women
interact on social media.
Gender miscommunication is also conveyed through social media. Today, Twitter is one
of the most used social media networks. Twitter involves people posting about what is going on
in their daily life. An article found on, Why men are retweeted more: how the sexes behave

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differently on Twitter by Jessica Bennett, a writer for The Atlantic, is an article written in 2015
that analyzes the use of Twitter between men and women and why men are more likely to be
retweeted. Bennett exclaims that the reason men are retweeted more is because of their use of the
hashtag in order to tag their tweets. A research study conducted by Alison Shapp, a doctoral
student at New York University, on the use of hashtags by men and women showed that, The
men in Shapps sample seem to be prioritizing function over expressionusing tags to try to get
their tweets seen. The women's hashtags, by contrast, appear more playful (Bennet, 2015). Men
use the hashtag as a way of starting a conversation, meanwhile women use it to express emotions
and show emphasis as they would in person. When examining the different types of hashtags
used by men and women, it proves the idea that women are more expressive than men. This
could explain why it is that men often have the bigger influence when it comes to social media
sites as compared to women. The article relates to the topic of gender miscommunication since it
examines the way both genders use social media to interact with others. While men and women
use their hashtags differently, it does not mean that it creates any kind of miscommunication
between the two. The source didnt help me understand how men and women interact with each
other on social media, but instead helped me understand the ways each gender uses them alone.
After finding out about their interactions on social media, I decided to look towards
relationships.
Experiencing communication issues in a relationship is inevitable. Men and
women will often disagree on a variety of things that can range from minor things to important
life decisions. An article by David Hoffman, a journalist for Men Magazine, The Conversational
Styles of Men and Women discusses some of the common reasons why these disagreements
happen. In a lot of cases, a mans lack of expression can be a problem in the relationship.

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Hoffman mentions that because women are naturally more emotional than men, they may
consider their partners lack of emotional help as them not caring. So when men do try and help
they will often try to solve the problem rather than simply be understanding. As Hoffman points
out, Men often don't understand that when women talk about a problem, they may be more
comfortable being met with affinity than a proposed solution (Hoffman, 1992). The different
ways in which men and women communicate are what usually causes problems to occur. This
ties in with the last two sources as it shows how the different expressions of emotions by both
genders are shown not only on social media, but can create conflicts in relationships. The article
explains why communication is so important in a relationship with your significant other and
proposes different solutions to the problem of miscommunication between genders.
While most would refer to relationships as common examples of gender
miscommunication, miscommunication amongst colleagues is just as common. In her essay But
What do You Mean, Deborah Tannen, a professor at Georgetown University on linguistics,
examines some of the common forms of miscommunication that occur between men and women
in the workplace. Tannen has written countless books on the different ways men and women
communicate with each other and how to better understand the opposite gender. She breaks
down each form into different categories and provides real life examples in which she has
experienced or observed miscommunication between colleagues. She states that men and women
have different communication styles as Many of the conversational rituals among women are
designed to take the other persons feelings into account, while many of the rituals common
among men are designed to maintain the one-up position, or at least avoid appearing one-down
(Tannen 327-328). The different communication styles between the two genders can often create
problems as men will often attempt to show dominance or act tough rather than show too much

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emotion. In one example, Tannen explains the different forms of humor between men and
women by saying that the most common form of humor among men is razzing, teasing, and
mock-hostile attacks, while among women its self-mocking(Tannen 332). The different types
of humor can be misinterpreted by both genders. Men can see a womans self mocking as putting
themselves down while a woman can feel attacked or uncomfortable by a mans teasing. While
being able to work together and communicate can come easy to a lot of men and women, every
work environment has its share of gender miscommunication. I found this source to be very
informative in showing the different ways that men and women miscommunicate at work and
how it can be prevented.
Gender differences in communication have been an ongoing discussion for many years.
As I began to do my own research I came across many articles explaining why it occurs and the
different ways it occurs as well. Through these four articles I was able to learn about the topic
from different viewpoints. I came to understand that different forms of communication and
behavior are wired into each of the sexes brain. I learned that the way men and women act is
reflected on their social media posts as men use hashtags to start a conversation while women
use it to express feelings through reading Bennetts article. Furthermore, I gained a better
understanding of what causes men and women to have disagreements in their relationships and at
work. The issue is much more than just men and women saying the wrong things to each other,
but an issue that prevents men and women from progressing and achieving equality between
each other. As long as men and women communicate differently, miscommunication will always
be present amongst the two genders.

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Works Cited
Tannen, Deborah. But what do You Mean? Brief Bedford Reader. Boston, Bedford/St. Martin's., 2014
Hoffman, David. "Conversational Styles of Men & Women." A Men's Magazine 1.1 (1992): 8. ProQuest. Web. 11
Apr. 2016.
Bennett, Jessica. "Why men are retweeted more: how the sexes behave differently on Twitter." The Atlantic 2015:
22. Literature Resource Center. Web. 11 Apr. 2016
Bernstein, Elizabeth. "Bonds: On Relationships: Relationship Talking Points: Speak Your Spouse's Language."
ProQuest. 13 Dec. 2013. Web. 11 Apr. 2016.