Mira Desai

UWRT 1103
Peter Blair
Inquiry Paper #3
What My Soul Cant Live Without

Thae Hut Thae He, Thae Hut Thae He, Back Bang Di Di Thae (Unnithan, 2016).
These are some of the words I grew up with while looking in the mirror watching myself dance
as my guru (dance teacher) sat on the steps counting the beats and telling us what moves we
needed to do. Growing up I never knew what I was interested in, whether it was from soccer to
karate, to cheerleading to what eventually led up to dance. Bharatanatyam (Indian Classical
Dance) has taught me about myself, my culture, and about performing all by learning the dance
form and dancing from my heart. Bharatanatyam was originated from Madras in South India.
The women/men who performed this kind of dance were dedicated to the temple and danced as a
part of many rituals within the temple. (Puri, 2010). When I was five years old I started dance,
but soon after my mom and my teacher realized I was too young to be learning. So, in the mean
time I started hobbies like soccer, karate, and cheerleading. I stuck with those hobbies for awhile
and then joined dance again when I was seven years old. A few years later, dance was the best fit
hobby for me and thats what I committed to for the next 10 years, it soon became a second
discourse to me.
Throughout the years dance taught me a lot about myself. I learned about how much of a
leader I had become, how much of a people person I was, and much more. On my first day of
dance, I was put into a class with three other girls; Jessica and Jennica Maisuria and Sunaina
Patil. Jessica and Jennica were twins, both one year younger than me, yet taller than me, they

Mira Desai
UWRT 1103
Peter Blair
Inquiry Paper #3
came to be so close to me that they practically became family. Sunaina was a friend from school
as well as dance. We were both the same age and went to school together which brought us very
close, but unfortunately that friendship stopped in the first few years of high school. In class, I
was always the one who cared most about dance and always put my 100% effort towards
everything I did, because of this the three of them always looked up to me. My guru, Radhika
Auntie always put me in charge when it came to rehearsing outside of practice or even practicing
before she came into the studio. Because I had this responsibility on my shoulders I became
somewhat of a leader to my peers around me and I met many other dance girls. When I was
younger, I had friends, but of course not as many as I have now. Being in dance really helped me
meet new people, some people that are very close to me now. Dance also helped me expand my
horizons to new things, especially things that helped me become more involved within in my
culture and community.
I was always the little girl that would go to Indian festivals and holidays with my mom,
but would never really participate. I remember being around the age of ten and going to Garba
(Indian festival that lasts for 9 nights) with my mom, but just sat on the side and never danced
with the rest of the Charlotte Indian community. I would watch all these other girls that I
recognized from dance out in the big circle dancing with everyone else, but I was always so
scared to go because I didnt know anyone. After getting a little older and meeting a lot more
dance girls, I would go to Garba and dance my heart out all night because I knew many more
people than I did a few years ago. I started to go to Holi (Festival of Colors) every year during

Mira Desai
UWRT 1103
Peter Blair
Inquiry Paper #3
the start of Spring because I knew others going and it always ended up being a lot of fun. Being
apart of my dance school Nrityam helped me get connected with my culture, something that
wouldve never happened otherwise, even though my mom tried her hardest. Going to these
events taught me about the meaning behind them and the religious value they have. Not only did
these events teach me about my religion, but also dance taught me a lot as well. Bharatanatyam
is a classical form of dance, so in India these dances tell a story about the gods and goddesses
mainly through facial expressions and also hand and feet gestures. Each dance told a different
story, for example the dance Shabdam told a story about the god Krishna and how he was
admiring a girl and watched her bathe in a lake, while he watched her, he stole her clothes and
threw it in a tree. Later, in the dance you see Krishna breaking into a house and eating all of the
butter in the house (butter was his favorite) (Unnithan, 2016). Stories differ from love stories,
battles, to much much more. Going through my years of training, I learned multiple dances, so
many I cant even count, but each dance told a different story and this is what taught me about
my religion and where it originated from.
After learning so many dances, we had to show off all of our hard work somewhere. Each
year Nrityam would host an annual recital, anyone was welcome as long as they bought a ticket
to the show, and the money received through tickets/donations would go to a specific charity, for
example March of Dimes. I had never performed before until my very first recital. I wore a very
simple all white outfit with jewelry and heavy eyeliner and bright red lipstick, once I was all
ready my heart started to pound. I only performed in one dance that year because it was my first

Mira Desai
UWRT 1103
Peter Blair
Inquiry Paper #3
year performing, yet I was still very nervous. Next thing you know, it was our turn to go on
stage, Jessica, Jennica, Sunaina, a few other first performers, and I all walked onto the stage
together. We got into our formations, mine being front and center with bright lights shining down
on us, but I couldnt help but smile the whole time all though I was a nervous break down inside.
Once the music started, I calmed down, danced my heart out, and enjoyed the experience this
was when I knew dance was my passion and when I had a whole new appreciation for the art of
dance and all the hard work that goes on behind the scenes. As I got older, I started to wear the
traditional Bharatanatyam outfit; a pant sari with a short blouse and other fabric that help cover
you up. Each piece of fabric was embroidered with shimmering silk, gold, and different colored
thread. In addition to the outfit was all the temple jewelry we had to wear consisting of
armlets, wristlets, bangles, necklaces, earring, a bindi, and big bells on our ankles that
emphasized each movement. Our hair was also a huge portion of our costume, we put our hair in
a bun and attached a long braid to it, then we wrapped flowers around our hair and put hair
jewelry on each side of our head that consisted of a moon and a sun that symbolized heaven. It
took approximately 2 to 3 hours to put on the full costume which takes up most of the time
before big performances. After doing it so many years, it becomes easier and easier, so after
awhile it became routine.
Years went by, nothing was really different except for our dances of course, but I will
never forget the one time after my first performance where I was so nervous performing. It was
the day of our annual recital, I was about 14 years old, so I wasnt nervous at all, I was excited

Mira Desai
UWRT 1103
Peter Blair
Inquiry Paper #3
more than anything. I was performing with my usual group, Jessica, Jennica, and Sunaina, and a
few others. I was front center in this dance and Sunaina was my partner; we basically mirrored
each other throughout the whole repertoire. It was an hour before the show and Sunaina hadnt
showed up to the venue yet, so I started to get worried. Time went by and there was still no show
of her, by the time I knew it I was smack center stage and I had no partner; Sunaina never
showed up. I was so nervous because everyone had a partner, but me and I was going to look so
odd, but I had to go out there a perform my best. I smiled throughout the whole dance, but I kept
looking at my guru through my peripherals, but all she did was smile at me because she knew I
would be fine. At the end of the performance, I realized it wasnt bad at all, I gained a lot from
that one experience, especially performing semi-solo.
After dancing for 9 years, I was finally ready to have an Arangetram (Dance Graduation).
Ultimately, the goal of training under a Bharatanatyam guru is to be able to have an Arangetram,
completing this certifies you to teach the dance form. About five months prior to March 9, 2013 I
practiced everyday for about three hours each in the studio and another two hours at home in my
garage. It was very stressful, but also the best workout/experience I have ever had. Being able to
go through this process took a lot of mental and physical strength, but also it had to be a second
discourse to you. There is no possible way you could complete five months of practice without
knowing the language used in practice or the slang used for certain steps. Before I knew it, the
big day was here. I got up around 8am, so I would have enough time to get ready. It took about
3-4 hours to do my hair and makeup and then another 45 minutes to put on my costume. Hours

Mira Desai
UWRT 1103
Peter Blair
Inquiry Paper #3
went by and then next thing I knew I was on stage performing solo for my very first time. My
debut was about 3 hours long, with 3 costume changes, a few speeches in between, and an
intermission. It flew by quicker than a blink of an eye. That day I grew a huge appreciation for
performing arts as well as all the work put into making a show run smoothly. My Arangetram
was the best experience I have ever had, not only because I worked so hard, but because I had
never felt more alive than I did on that stage. Smiling my heart out and dancing so gracefully not
only made me happy, but my guru, my parents, and all 500 people watching me.
After all these years and everything I have experienced, dancing became a second
discourse to me. The language learned throughout practices eventually became fluent to me, the
costumes, jewelry, and makeup are now normal and easy for me to do. Not only did I learn a
lot about myself, my culture, and the appreciation of performing arts; I became a part of a whole
new family that I wouldnt trade for the world. I will always be thankful for the art of
Bharatanatyam and the skills I have learned. Because I learned the art of classical Indian dance I
am now able to do any other type of Indian dance, including, Bhangra, Bollywood, Garba, and
much more. Dance will always be something so special to me and will always have a place in my
heart.

Puri, Rajika. "Bharatanatyam Performed: A Typical Recital." Visual Anthropology. 17.1

(2004): 45-68. Print

Mira Desai
UWRT 1103
Peter Blair
Inquiry Paper #3

Dance Language [E-mail to R. Unnithan]. (2016, April 13).