Issue #499
May 2016
dockets for my lawsuit, and have found local courtrooms to be gunked up with countless lawsuits almost every
weekday filed by banks and insurers against individuals. On most days, theres numerous suits filed by the same
business.
Even Kentuckys stated policies are stacked against us. For starts, theres actually a statute on the books
that explicitly exempts corporations from having to obey entire chapters of the voluminous Kentucky criminal
code. Whats also stunning is the differing standards regarding filing a lawsuit. Under Kentuckys stated rules, a
person may file no more than 25 suits in a calendar year. But a business is entitled to file up to 25 suits for each
location in the judicial district. Since many companies have locations in more than one district, they can file more
suits in other districts. If youre a major restaurant chain that has, say, 4 locations across the county, you can file
100 suits a yearnearly 2 per week. But if youre a persona lowly peepyou get 25 and thats it, and I cant
imagine why youd use all 25 anyway.
A person might not file 25 suits a year, but banks and insurers sure as shit do. After skimming the dockets,
it looks like some of these companies are way over the legal limitso even the stated rules dont seem to apply to
them. When you file a suit, you must affirm that youre not over the limit. I dont think the judge or anyone else at
the courthouse verifies it. What this means is that banks lie. They commit perjury when they claim theyre within
the limit.
What surprises me is that judges dont figure it out. It seems like eventually some intelligent and wise
judge would get suspicious after seeing the same banks in their courtroom over and over again.
At minimum, judges ought to rule that these banks and insurers are vexatious litigants so they cant keep
clogging our courts. It would be not just fair but the very epitome of justice. Even if these companies are by some
miracle just within their legal number of permitted lawsuits, its hard to see why theyd file so many.
Justice. People have fought and died for itonly to have the 0% steal it back from them.
was a prescription drug, but I didnt think much about it until another family member saw the pack of pink
Freshen-Up and uttered 2 words that sent me into a helpless fit of laughter: Bubble gum. Why would a dentist
prescribe bubble gum?
I have a knack for solving problems. To cope with losing the ability to read text, I thought it would be
nifty if there was an invention that combines the very best features of bifocals and sunglassesall in convenient
glosses-like form. Like bifocals, it would let people see again. Like sunglasses, it would look like sunglasses
and it would protect peeps peepers from damaging solar rays. This invention could have a cool name like
bipfocals.
A few spectacle
skeptics will scoff at this
idea. Theyre not keen on
bipfocals, becauseto put it
in
their
wordsyoure
gonna wear regular glasses
and youre not gonna argue
about it. Thinking outside the
box is not allowed. (Ooh, an
Allowed Cloud!) Yet notice
how my biggest failures in
life were because I did as I
was toldso tough toilets.
No revolution has ever been
won by good behavior.
Much to my delight,
I discovered bipfocals had
already been inventedbut
nobody had ever told me. So
I buyed the best damn pair of
bipfocals Ive ever seen.
(Thats because theyre the only pair Ive ever seen!) They look like sunglasses but eat like eyeglasses. But
theyre neither. Theyre bipfocals.
It is poor etiquette to wear sunglasses in certain settings, such as courtrooms and schools. So dont wear
bipfocals there either. On second thought, wear them at school. If they make you take them off, fart real loud.
Thats what everyone does at school anyway.
May my vision loss never be mentioned by anyone again.
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