Lents 1

Elena Lents
Ms. Gardner
English Period 6
10 May 2016
Making a Change: Divorce Reform
Before no-fault divorce--in which the spouse initiating the divorce does not have to prove
their reason for it--72 percent of adults were married, while that rate is just below 50% today
(Willett). The divorce rate is only continuing to grow, and many of these divorces can be
prevented with divorce reform. According to the National Marriage Project, the divorce rate
doubled between 1960 and 2009 (Vrouvas). Divorce has become much easier to acquire in the
past fifty years, and many people believe that it is beneficial; however, it leads to numerous
pointless divorces. The goal of reform is to decrease the amount of unnecessary divorces,
especially among couples with young children. By slowing the process of divorce, educating
couples about the negative impacts of it, and providing expertise to help them better their
relationships, reform could save marriages and guarantee more children are raised in a home
with both parents. Divorce is a complicated and unpleasant experience for the couple and the
people around them. It can separate families and is sometimes financially devastating. Divorce
should be made harder to obtain because many married couples have a salvageable relationship,
it is extremely expensive, and children are negatively affected by it. Going through the trouble
and inconvenience of a divorce is unnecessary if the couple is able to repair their relationship.
Many might argue that divorce should be as simple as possible because they believe that
making the process more complex is only cruel and inconvenient to hopeless marriages.
Admittedly, studies show that around 40% of married couples looking to get a divorce have a

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high conflict relationship and have a lower chance of managing a happy marriage (Doherty and
Sears). It is true that marriage should provide the couple not only with stability but also with selffulfillment and personal satisfaction. If these goals are not being achieved, divorce is an
acceptable solution. However, if 40% of divorcing spouses have a high conflict relationship, that
leaves about 60% of couples who have a chance to mend their marriage. When one considers the
countless amount of marriages that would be saved by divorce reform, it is clear that it is more
beneficial than not. Even without reconciliation, reform could defuse tempers and reestablish
some balance to the procedure.
Granted, there are some marriages that are truly hopeless and in need of a divorce as fast
as possible, such as abusive relationships, or couples that just do not function together anymore.
However, the number of divorces that are a result of extreme reasons such as abuse are very low
compared to other reasons. Brigid Schulte, a researcher and expert on divorce, conducted a
survey to find the most common reasons for divorce. The percentage of divorces that were
because of abuse is a mere 14%. The most common reasons for divorce were arguing (45%) and
lack of preparation for marriage (29%), which are both minor problems that can easily be solved
with many couples. In addition, William J. Doherty and his team of researchers asked 2,500
divorcing parents in Minnesota whether they would consider mending their marriage. In over
10% of these divorce cases, both spouses were willing to attempt to reconcile. In another 30%,
one spouse was open to reconciliation. This research shows that the majority of couples deciding
to divorce have the possibility to spare themselves and their children the pain of an unnecessary
divorce. If such a large amount of divorcing spouses have potential to restore their marriage, why
not use divorce reform to do so?
Moreover, divorce is known to be extremely expensive and financially devastating.

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Studies show that the former couples standard of living may decrease almost 27% in just the
first year after divorce (Willett). Similarly, another study by Michele Vrouvas found that poverty
is common after divorce, especially for women and children. Between 77% and 83% of mothers
and their children live in poverty in the first eighteen months after divorce. Because of these
financial struggles, most children of divorce experience disruptions changes in child care,
living arrangements and schools that create turmoil in their lives (Vrouvas). No couple should
do something that affects their financial state this drastically unless it is absolutely necessary.
David Schramm provides the estimated costs of divorce to individuals, communities, and state
and federal governments in his article on The Family in America: $33.3 billion annually. The
cost of divorce has become ridiculously high. Divorce can be difficult financially for many
people, and is a complete waste if the couple has potential to reconcile. Divorce reform would be
an effective way to ensure that spouses are not spending their hard earned money and negatively
affecting their lifestyle on something unnecessary.
Lastly, the spouses children bear the brunt of divorce, and the more children that do not
have to deal with the effects of divorce, the better. Research shows that children of divorce are
more likely to experience poverty, drug and alcohol abuse, and mental illnesses than children of
intact families (Willett). The psychological impact on children is evident from this research and
is affecting the future generations of America. Judith Wallerstein, a researcher of divorce and its
harm, found that "many of these children forfeited their own childhoods as they took
responsibility for themselves, their troubled, overworked parents, and their siblings (qtd. in
Medved). Children are still learning about responsibility and how to deal with stress as they
grow, and it is unfair for the detrimental effects of divorce to be thrown on their shoulders. A
divorce should only be between the two spouses, but in almost every divorce between parents,

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the children are negatively affected. Wallerstein also mentions that the trauma peaks in
adulthood, undermining love, intimacy, and commitment (qtd. in Medved). Children are
greatly affected by divorce, and divorce reform would lower the number of children that have to
go through it. It is unfair and unnecessary if the marriage is able work out.
Divorce should be made harder to obtain because many married couples have a
salvageable relationship and are divorcing for fixable reasons. Additionally, divorce is
ridiculously expensive, and can have a permanent psychological effect on children. Experiencing
the inconvenience and critical effects of a divorce is pointless if the couple can mend their
relationship. Children need educational, financial, and emotional support in order to live to their
best potential, and an intact family does just that. Divorced adults and their children can become
mentally and physically drained without this support. Divorce separates families, mentally
devastates children, and is not fun for anyone involved: divorce reform would prevent these
issues and if not that, it would at least create friendly relationships between divorced couples.
Divorce cannot be ended completely, but divorce reform would help limit the issues that come
with it.

Works Cited
Doherty, William J., and Leah Ward Sears. "Giving Troubled Marriages a Second Chance."
Washington Post. 21 Oct. 2011: A.25. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 25 Apr. 2016.
Doherty, William J. "The Case for Divorce Reform | Family Studies." Family Studies The Case
for Divorce Reform Comments. IFS, 24 Apr. 2014. Web. 03 May 2016.

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Medved, Diane. "No, You Can't Have a Good Divorce." USA TODAY. 24 Oct. 2013: A.9. SIRS
Issues Researcher. Web. 25 Apr. 2016.
Schramm, David G. "Counting the Cost of Divorce: What Those Who Know Better Rarely
Acknowledge." The Family in America. N.p., 10 Nov. 2009. Web. 04 May 2016.
Schulte, Brigid. "Till Death Do Us Part? No Way. Gray Divorce on the Rise." Washington Post.
08 Oct. 2014: n.p. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 25 Apr. 2016.
Vrouvas, Michele. "The Effects of Divorce on Society." LegalZoom: Legal Info. Demand Media,
n.d. Web. 05 May 2016.
Willett, Beverely. "Divorce Reform Would Benefit Marriage." Deseret News. 07 May 2014: n.p.
SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 25 Apr. 2016.