MyTreasure

Saba,locatedintheLeewardIslandsismysenseofplace.TherelationshipIhavewithitisspiritual.
Sabaisasmallislandsurroundedbyanendlessocean.Itisoneofthelastremainingislandsthathasa
coexistingrelationshipwiththeocean.Surroundedbymarinereserves,theoceanlifeisrichandthecoral
reefsshinebrightwithsomuchbiodiversity.Itisaplaceofpurelife,simplebeauty,andwondrousawe.I
traveleddowntoSaba,alongtosomeotherislands,todovolunteerandoceanpreservationserviceinthe
summerof2014.OnemajorproblemintheCaribbeanisthatofcoralbleaching.Inthemid1980s,there
wasamassivecoralbleachingand75%ofallreefsintheCaribbeanfelltothegraspinghandsofdeath.
Coralbleachingiscausedduetorisingseatemperatures.Iftheglobalseatemperaturescontinuetorise,
thebeautifulreefscouldfallvictimtothecatastropheofcoralbleachingandwewouldloseoneofthe
onlypristinereefsleftintheCaribbean.Istandfirmthatglobalwarmingistherootcauseofcoral
bleachingandhumaninterferencewithnaturalhabitatsissignificantlyimpactingourwildworld.Sabais
aplacethatisveryspecialtome,itholdssignificanceinmyheartthatcannotbereplicated.My
environmentalethicistoprotectandpreservethenaturalbeautyofSabaandtobringawarenesstowhat
ishappening.

SabawasoneoftheonlyplacesintheLeewardislandswherecoralbleachinghadntreallyaffected
thecorals.Iwatchedthevibrantcolors,fulloflife,swayingbackandforthtotherhythmofthe
waves.

Iseethewaveslapatthesurface,grainsofsanddisappearunderthewhitebackwash,thewaterandland
coexistforonesecondatatime,untilthetidepullsbackintothedeepoceanblue.Shellslitterthebeach,
creatingindentationsinthesand,amaptothetreasuremarkX.

XformeisinSaba.ItisasmallislandlocatedintheLeewardIslands.Itraveledthereinthesummerof
2014todosomecommunityserviceandtostudythecoralreefsintheirreserve.Surroundedbyavast
ocean.Atfirst,theislanddoesntlooklikemuchbesidesalusciousgreencanopywithstark,pointrocks
surroundingit.Littledopeopleknowthough,thatthisislandisspecial.Becausebeneaththose
intimidatingtowers,thereliesanareathatholdsasimpleoasis.

IhaveaspiritualconnectionwiththeoceansurroundingSaba.Myrootsextendlikemangrovesfromthe
seafloor.Thecolorsextendoutwards,illuminatingthesurfaceofthetranquilripples.AsIdivebelowthe
calmdwells,thebreathescapesfrommylips.Bubblesfloattothesurface,breakinguponimpactwiththe
dense,terrifyingair.Iswimeffortlessly,lettingtheflowofthewatercarrymethroughthecavernous
echoes.Seeingthedecadentwalls,remindingmetocherishlife.Thecolorsbounceandreflectoffthe
raysofthesun,reachingmyeyes,changingmyperceptionforever.MyearsringwithwhitenoiseasIdip
belowthecrestingwave.Asmallsergeantmajorpassesinfrontofme,curioseyesshiftingnervously
backandforth.IlovethewaterbecauseitismysafehavenandthewatersurroundingSabawasthere
whenIneededsomethingtoholdonto.

TheWednesdaybeforetheSaturdayIleftiswhenIheardaboutAustin.Myfriend,Cara,calledmeat
4amsayingsomethinghappened.Iwasaskingheroverandoverwhatwaswrong,buthertrembling

wordsmadenosense.Irememberhurriedlypackingmybagandwakingupmymomtotakemeoverto
Carashouse.WhenIarrived,Ididntseeanythingbuttears.Austinwasgone,hermomtoldme.Austin,
whossillyadventuresbroughtmesomuchhappiness,hiscookysmile,hisperseverance,andhis
inspirationwasrippedfromusinonlyasecond.

ItwasabrightsummerdaywhenIlastsawAustin.IwaswithCaraandwewerewalkingdowntownand
bumpedintohim.Heactedsocasual,madeajoke,gaveusahiandabye.LittledidIknowthat
merelyaweeklaterhewouldnolongerbehere,tomakejokes,tobemybigbrotherashereferredto
himself.Inthatmoment,mymindwentblank,notears,noemotion,justemptiness.Ididntbelieveit,
Austincouldntbegone.Ienteredthehouse,whichseemedjustasemptyasmymind.Everythingwas
silent,youcouldhearapindrop.Sittingonthesofa,comfortingCaraassilenttearsslippedfromherface
ontothedarkpillowonmylap.

CallingKate,Carassister,wasoneofthehardestthings.Hermomandsisterwereinnoshapetotell
her,soIwastheonetobreakthenews.KatewasinDenverona4Htrip,completelyunawarethatherlife
wouldchangeforever,withasinglephonecall.WehadalreadycalledBrenna,CaraandKatessisterto
headoverandconsoleKate.Herscreamwillringthroughmymindeternally.Justtheexpressionofpure
agony.Kate,outofallofus,wasprobablytheclosesttoAustin,Ialreadycouldntimagineloosing
Austin,butIcouldntIcantevenimaginewhatitmustvebeenlikeforKate.Hewasherbestfriend.
Austinwasmyfirstexperiencewithclosedeath.Before,nothinghadreallyhappenedinwhichI
experienceddeathinthesameway.Itseemssodistant,death,untilitsnot.Ithinkwhatimpactedmethe
mostwashowithappened.
Driving
.Iveheardofterriblecrashes,butdrivingissocommon,thismade
merealizethatitcanhappentoanyone.Adeerjumpedoutinfrontofhimandthatwasit.

Austinwasoutgoing,ifanythingeverstoodinhisway,hewouldfindawaytopushpastitandcontinue
alonghisownadventure.SchoolwashardforAustin.Hewassocurious,lovedtolearn,buthisteachers
sawnopotentialinhim.Everyday,hisdreamswouldbecrushed,oneafteranotherashisteacherswould
sayyourenogood,youwillgonowhereinlife,yourenevergoingtograduate.Itwasheart
wrenchingtoseehimstruggleeveryday,topushthroughallthosehurtfulwords.Oneofmyfavorite
thingsaboutAustinwashistendenciestoprovepeoplewrong.Inthiscase,heprovedeveryonewrong.
Hegraduatedhighschoolin2014,Iwassoproudofhim.Hewassuchaninspirationtome.Austintaught
methatcriticismshouldntstopyoufrompursuingyourdreams,thatnomatterwhathappenstheres
alwaysaselfdeterminationwithinyousoyoucanperseverethroughanychallenge.Onlyameretwo
monthslaterwaswhentheaccidenthappened.

Hewasthekindestpersonyoucouldimagine.Onetimewewereallwalkinginthepastureandwecame
acrossaninjuredbird.ThewingwasobviouslybrokenandAustinpickeditupandcarriedittothehouse.
Wemadealittlecribforitwithblanketsandsetitgentlyintotheblankets.Acoupledayslater,weletit
flyoutintotheopenbluesky.Hissmileashesawthebirdfilledmewithjoy.Thelookofpurehappiness,
knowingthathehelped.

Thefuneralwaseverythingthathewouldvewanted.Therewerelaughs,tears,pain,buthewas
rememberedinthewayhewouldhaveloved.Hisbrothertoldastory.Adayofhiking,Austinwas8

yearsold,sawabuckandchasedafteritasifitwasagame.Hedidntrealizethathisbrotherwasnt
following,butwasabletofindhiswayback.Hewasecstatic,helovedtheoutdoors!Iwasonan
adventure,hesaid.Ilaughed,becausethatwassoAustin,somethinghewouldsay.

Takingahandfulofdirtandspillingitoverthegrave,thesmallpebblesspreadingoverhiscoffinmy
lastgoodbye,Ithought.Thesoilslippingthroughmyfingers,justasheslippedthroughmine.Thereone
second,gonethenext.ThatsthefirsttimeIcried.Itwassohardtoleave,Ialmostcouldntgo.Toleave
feltsowrong,likeIwouldntbetherewhenhecameback.Itfeltlikehewouldjustwalkthroughthe
door,goofygrinonhisface,readytocrackajoke.Today,itstillfeelslikethat,butivegottenmoreofa
grasponit.

LeavingDurango,leavingeverythingthathadhappenedbehindwasreallydifficult.Itwasrainingthat
day,theskywascryingandIthoughtforamoment,Austinwaswithmeagain.AsIwatchedthetears
flowdownthecompactplanewindows,Irealizeditwashistimetogo,andnowitwasmytime,but
throughadifferentway.OnceIwasontheboatheadingtowardsSaba,allIfeltwassadness,bottledup
insideofme.Iwasonaboatfullofstrangers,soIcouldntopenuptoanyoneabouthowIwasfeeling.I
knowIwouldnthavebeenjudged,butpartofmefeltselfconscious.IcouldalmosthearAustintelling
methatthiswasjustaphase,thatIwouldgetthroughit.

SabawasthelaststoponourjourneyaroundtheLeewardIslands.ThisiswhenIfeltthemostpain,so
closetogoinghome,butitfeltsofaraway.IwasexpectinghimtobetherewhenIgotback,butIknew
thatwasntgoingtohappen.ThemomentthathelpedmethemostwasunderthewaterinSaba.Itwasthe
lastdayontheisland,spentdiving.ItwasbyfarthemostbeautifulandpristineplacethatIhadeverbeen
to.Islippedbelowthewavesandsmiled.Isurprisedmyself,smilingwasntthatcommonfollowing
Austinsdeath.Ifelthimlookingoverme,heknewhowmuchIlovedtheocean,itwasallItalkedabout.
HealwaystoldmethatIcouldchasemydreamsandheknewmydreamwasintheocean.Iremember
talkingtohimaboutthemasscoralbleachingthatwasoccurringaroundtheworld.Hewasjustasangry
asIwas.Thebeautifulcoral,dyingatourhands.Makingplanstochangethewaypeopleperceivedthe
oceanwasourthing.HesaidIwouldbethebrainsandhewouldbethesocialatthetimeIwas
incrediblyshy.Wewouldspreadtheknowledgetogetherandbringaboutanentiremovementthatwould
changethewaypeoplethinkabouttheocean.Thatwasourplan,anyways,butshithappens.Hewouldve
lovedSaba.Itsrollinghills,thebrightyellowflowerslitteringthecrevices.Thebrightcorals.Icouldsee
hiseyeslightingupwithcuriosity,hissmileshiningbrightashescannedtheexpanseofthebeautiful
landscape,bothaboveandbelowthewater.

Austinwassopassionateabouttheenvironment,helovedeverything.Wewouldtalkforhoursonend
abouttheoceanandthehorriblethingsthatarebeingdonetoitandhowitwasbeingtreatedmerelyasa
resource.

Fishingindustries,valuemarkets,whalehunting,tourists,oilrigs,trash,plastic,thelistcouldgoon
eternally,butIdontwanttooverwhelm.Austinknewthattheoceanwasmyplaceandhewaswilling
todoanythingtoprotectit.Anythingyoueverneed,Imrighthere,heusedtotellme.

Abouttwoweeksbeforehedied,IcouldntstopthinkingaboutthemasscoralbleachingontheGreat
BarrierReef.Ihatedhearingaboutit,becauseitjustremindedmehowarrogantweallare,notwillingto
admitthatthesecatastrophiceventsarecausedbyus.Austingavemehope,Theresyouandme,ifno
oneelsewillmakeadifference,wewill.

SabaisoneoftheonlyplacesleftintheLeewardislandswherecoralbleachinghasntreallyaffectedthe
corals.There,Iwasabletowatchthevibrantcolors,fulloflife,swaybackandforthtotherhythmofthe
waves.IsawAustininthosecolors,fulloflife,light,inspiration.Itbroughtmeasenseofcalmness,that
everythingwouldbeokay.Iwashappy,inthatmoment,underthewater.Itwasme,theocean,and
Austin.