Khalid Nagib

Mr. Wilson
Writing 2
June 3, 2016
WP3 Revised Draft
Part I
Script for Infomercial GoFatGo weight loss solutions
Phone rings
Man in bed picks up phone
Phone Call: Sir, I regret to inform you that we cannot accommodate you for a skydive because
you are over our 650lbs weight limit.
Man hangs up phone and looks in desperation turning on TV
Model Anna Hutchinson appears on HSN in skimpy clothing with a smile not leaving her mouth
Anna Hutchinson: Do you have problems losing weight? Do you want to fit into those skinny
jeans you bought years ago? I have the solution for you! GoFatGo weight loss pills are the
solution to your problem. Based on research done at the University of Geneva, the pills use
special green tea extract which is proven to enhance fat oxidation in the human body. Check it
out yourself.
Scene changes onto a new character
CALL 1-800-FAT-GONE NOW! $2099.99 INCLUDING SHIPPING
Character 1: I tried GoFatGo and I lost 180 pounds in 10 days! It completely transformed my
life, my children are happier and my wife is more confident with me being around her in public.
Images of before/after appear
New character appears

Character 2: OMG! What can I say? I used these pills and got to my ideal weight of 120lbs. I can
say that because of GoFatGo I met my rich husband and now we live a fairy tale ending.
Images of before/after appear
Scene changes back to Anna Hutchinson
Anna: These are some of millions that transformed their lives with our product. Are you not
convinced yet? We have Dr. Phillipe Chantre, one of the researchers that discovered the great
abilities of the green-tea extract that makes our GoFatGo product work. Welcome Dr. Chantre!
Short Swiss man appears wearing lab coat
Dr. Phillipe Chantre: Merci Anna, bonjour to everyone.
Anna: Dr., can you explain what your team really discovered?
Dr. Phillipe Chantre: It is simple, we found out that green tea has thermogenic properties that can
lead to burning fat. We discovered that the green tea was more effective than caffeine in
stimulating thermogenesis, production of heat, in the human body. Under clinical trial, the
extract provided long term weight loss for the people that took it. It was an aim for us to find a
rational and quick solution to stimulate weight loss amongst obese patients. It was a success!
Anna: Well, there you have it folks! GoFatGo, a scientifically proven product to provide
weight loss! Get rid of the parts of your body you don't want! Call 1-800-FAT-GONE and get
yours today! Only for $2099.99! Free shipping provided!
Scene changes on images of bikini clad women checking out their curves and before/after images

Part II
In WP3, I had creative control to transform and translate a journal article into a new genre
with different conventions, audience and purpose. The basis of the translation is a Nutritional
academic journal article. It describes a research study testing the fat oxidation characteristics of
green tea extract. I chose to translate the article into a a satirical informercial about a weight loss
product. In order to demonstrate how the credibility of academia becomes manipulated, I added
the infomercial pathos conventions of images and testimony to create a silly critique.
It is important to understand the role of ethos, pathos and logos in an argument. Ethos is
defined as the credibility of the rhetor (Carroll 54). The satirical infomercial draws upon the
ethos of the journal article to convince the audience of the product credibility. The main appeal,
however, is to pathos, or emotion to persuade (Carroll 47). The before/after images and
customer testimonies are examples of that. There is no element of logos, argument from reason
(Carroll 52). In the translation, it is a genre switch and a change of appeals from ethos and logos
in the academic article towards ethos and pathos in the satirical informercial.
The satirical infomercial was intended to appeal to consumers struggling with their
excess weight searching solutions. In the translation, the beginning involves a scenario in which
a man is unable to skydive by surpassing the weight limit. There is a personal connection created
by the intended audience with the man in the advertisement, an appeal to pathos. They both share
the burden of excess weight hindering lifes opportunities. The journal articles intended
audience is within the field of Clinical Nutritionists amongst other scientists. The terminology
used is uncommon to the general public. It would only be understood by academics within the
field of Nutrition, Medicine or Chemistry. Phosphodiesterase-induced degradation of

intracellular cyclic AMP (Dulloo 040) is one example of such terminology that would dictate
the specified audience.
The choice of the genre was personal. Infomercials make me laugh. Some of the claims
they make are ridiculous. It appears to be so fake that any scientific legitimacy for the product
would lose its credibility. In the translation, I exaggerated the conventions of the infomercial
genre. The customer reviews of the product are a testament. I tried GoFatGo and I lost 180
pounds in 10 days! Who would believe that? Another reason why I chose the infomercial genre
was due to its purpose. Infomercials convince viewers to purchase a product. The academic
research journal articles purpose is to describe research finding. Why not employ that research
onto a product and try to sell it to customers through an infomercial?
Integrating information from the primary text was challenging. Most of the factual
elements of the journal article had to be excluded. The audience, recipients of the rhetorical
message (Carroll 49) did not have the background knowledge needed. phosphodiesterases,
adenosine (Dulloo 1040) would only be understood by academics within the field. The aim of
the infomercial is to incentivize purchase. It has to show the results of using the product. The
results of the research green tea extract resulted in a significant increase in 24-h
EE-40% (Dulloo 1040) were put in the infomercial through the customer testimonies, I used
these pills and got to my ideal weight of 120lbs. The testimonies served as an emotional appeal
because they personify the results as opposed to the logical appeal of fact in the research article.
The results are exaggerated in the satire as it provides a comical aspect and makes it completely
unbelievable. I included one of the scientists involved in the research, Phillipe Chantre, as an
expert opinion in the infomercial. His role was explain the purpose of their research. It was an

aim for us to find a rational and quick solution to stimulate weight loss Most of the journal
article was not included in the infomercial though.
Most elements of the infomerical were authored by me GoFatGo was completely made
up. The phone call the man receives in the beginning was to create a pathos appeal with
overweight customers whilst introducing the product. We cannot accommodate you for a
skydive because you are over our 650lbs weight limit. The beautiful fitness model in a sports
bra Anna Hutchinson was an imaginary character to create eye-candy for viewers based on a
real life example such as Brenda Dygraf. The inclusions aimed to form the piece into an satirical
infomercial script ready for Saturday Night Live adhering to the genres conventions.
The challenges of the genre translation were choosing what to use from the article. I
realized that most of the content would not be used. I felt that I was doing something wrong.
However, with contemplation I recognized that I fulfilled the expectations of this genre (Dirk
251). Satirical Infomercials do not need much logical information. They only need to use small
portions to try and gain creditability from their audience. My authorial presence created the
emotional appeals in the infomercial which I exaggerated to adhere to satire conventions. The
satirical translation helps prove the belief that academic authority can be abused. The
exaggeration proves that what is considered sound academia can be discredited. It can be
manipulated through switching logos with pathos into a state where its claim are no longer
believed. Nobody believes the research after watching the infomercial that used the findings.

Works Cited
Dulloo, A. G., J. Seydoux, L. Girardier, P. Chantre, and J. Vandermander. "Green Tea and
Thermogenesis: Interactions between Catechin-polyphenols, Caffeine and Sympathetic
Activity." Int J Obes Relat Metab Disord International Journal of Obesity 24.2 (1999):
1040-045. Web.