Maranaw Courtships and Marriage

Traditional Maranaw

Maranaw is one of the Muslims Tribe of the Philippines. To understand this Tribe better, many
writings and articles related to the said Tribe can be source out in the internet and related books. It
is not the intention of the writer to trace more on its origin and other related discussions, rather
concentrate on the courtships and marriage.
To be specific, Maranaws are people who live and originate around lake Lanao or are the people of
Ranaw of Lanao, Island of Mindanao, Republic of the Philippines, Asia. They belong to the
Bangsamoro and considered minority to the entire population of the Philippines. Maranaw Tribes
discourage inter-marriages to non-Muslim believers particularly women. The reasons for this
practiced is so deep which the Author allow her readers to go further through another works and
writings. But the men are permitted for this purpose.
Maranaw Tribe are fond of migrating, hence we can found them in every corner of the country and
abroad. Though they live away f...

COURTSHIPS

Kapanganakan
“Kapanganakan was still practiced in 1970’s and 1980’s. This term is
defined by the author as the “serenading”. In serenading, boys used to
sing a song in group, that in general. The same is true to kapanganakan. A
group of boys will formally come to serenade a girl. One unique scene in
this practiced was the unity of both the girls and the boys to be in group.
The girls will know that a group of boys will come to serenade in a certain
time. They will group too. Mostly, this group of boys and girls seems to be
successful in marriage. This came as the other will develop a devoted
feeling towards another.

This common practice was very popular. Most boys hail from far away
places and came to search girls in group. The practice was observed at
night time for both have to earn a living at day time. The group of boys
will say goodbye before dawn. To a certain extent, the group of girls and
boys must have speaker. But there are some groups that did not bother
and they themselves speak for the purpose. It is because the flow of
conversation was handled by ancient Language not mere Maranaw
vernacular. Any plain Maranaw listeners cannot comprehend with this kind
of conversation if they were not verse in ancient language. We were very
interested to listen as they debate philosophically, until the boys will be
accepted as official suitors.

1.) Kandaonga

This “ kandaonga” is one way of conversing which the boys are able to
explain their purpose. This is done in the form of introduction, which the
official member of the group who came for the purpose will be exposed.
Speakers of both sides will clarify as to the status of the serenading boy.
This will include a place of origin, its ancestors; may be a Sulutan or any
other Maranaw dignified family. This one of the reasons why only sons of
Datus qualify for this practiced. If the group of girls knew that a group of
boys do not descend to any well-known clan, they feel cold in handling the
group.

The practiced on tracing one descendant is still observed these days. This
gives way to intermarriages of sons and daughters of Datus. This resulted
to the most popular society of Maranaws; the pat a” pahangampong sa
Ranaw”, the “sapolo a go walo ambabaya ko Taritib” and other ancestral
origin which the author regrets to include in this writing due to some
limitations. To educate ourselves on these different branches of origin
among Maranaw Society, we can scan on related books and related
writings about these matters.

To be exact, through “kandaonga”, the purpose and the descendants of

both groups will be exposed. We can observe, that the conversations run
very monotonous and after-like ego. The boys will accept a challenge of
going into this relationship.

2.) Pananaroon

The “pananroon” will highlight the “kapanganakan”. The groups will sit
together, encircling each other in a “Lemba” ( Maranaw Traditional beds
and beddings) because a receiving room is not provided in the ancient
time. It is common that a night will be sleepless for the whole family. It is
through pananroon that both groups can express their ideas and can
better understand each other. The pananaroon is pronounce poetically.

Example of Pananaroon
Girl…

“Go phoon den khagabi na mizamber-samber saya ro rininto magayoong a magawa sa

mawatan anggatan sa pikilatan, na dita maphaka anged ka amay bo ka masokat na pribonen
ta nyan ka ditanyan kon lolot”.

This laterally means…Every afternoon, a wind blows far from a distant, coming glowingly,
which I cannot heartily accept for it might be disregarded as the relationship is still light.

Boy…

“Diyako tanto khawan sa kinikarang ko wig ka minsangko di baogen I moraon sa sanggibo

na langganangko a omor, minsan di balebegen I mombos sa salaksa na dagangko a kapatay
odi ko mitindos rabaw so datumanung ko inged.”

Meaning…
“I do not fear to find my name in a flowing water for even if my life will be a thousand times
threatened, I will lay my life; Though, its unbearable a million times but I will gamble my life
just to win the wonder of the place.”
This will give the listeners a clear picture of how each group win the heart of the other group.
This pananaroon will be rolled a number of times depending on the interest of the boy for a
formal proposal. Each group will answer the pananroon of the other according to the
meaning and message employed.

3.) Maranaw Love letter.

If I remember right, during the year 1970, Maranaw love letter was still practiced by the
Maranaw ladies, and their suitors. We shall give a wink on its nature. Love letter could either
be "kapangoba", a letter from a frustrated sender or ex-boyfriend or girl friend. Other letter
can be "kapranon", a letter from a new suitor, feeling lonely and longing to share his feeling
to his prospect. The later is mostly done by boys, send as a friendly letter. Upon receipt of the
said letter, the girl would acknowledge, reminding the boy whether the girl is available or not
negotiable. It is more on a story with a redundancy of words.

When the said letter is received by a lady, the family would group themselves and the famous
reader within the family will read it aloud. One sentimental letter could bring the listeners to
cry. This scene can move the family and may reunite this departed relation. On the contrary, if
the writer is new suitor, it will give him a chance to come and court the girl. Since, personal
courting is not allowed in this society, this letter serve as the passes of the boy.

We will post an example of Maranaw love letter, written 1970, pages from the collection of a
maranaw lady as anonymous. Let us note of the body, the comma and he period is represented
by "na" and "ka"

The letter read as:

Alamataya ranon a pizoratana gagaw a pikhaat a rangkono a paka

paphanogoden ke tawangko diko bethon. a saya pephakaganat ko
ladangko riniwada, na inao ala kirim na obaka pkhadanon ko manga
bantoga a tawo na zizino zinowangka o da a rampana a dar na salamangka
rinao na gokabo zandoa ayan sa mabaloya tadman na mawita panginogon
a makalimogaw sa dar. N o amay ka masokatso alongan lomalangkap a
senang mangongorangka ko katasangko boklod a gopen ngganat ko palao
a pezalindao i salega rangkaniyan ko kapenggiginawai na oman midar
mipangkat na mapasa panggao sa walo na masapidao sa pat na somigay
mangangarig sa orogana kiblat na mendod na zando ayanko balibeto
iranon na gonian panogoda so lad laino kaparan na mama mindo
malondong a artawang gonawan na lagido gopn kidar apemangidansalian
na oda kalalansaye a pagalongan so laod na morog na thaman taman i
salgo sindaw niyan na asar bo ka minidar i tanda aken ko lalag na
ipananayan aken sa aoga-gaog a ganding a sengkoana ronokan a sariato
lalakho ka oba ako arangen sa phamanen dezen a dapat a orgis sa ginawa
a bimban sa taginepen ka riwara bimban sa dar ka daaken mipagenong sa
alongan tanan aya ka oman raken lomimbo so kapenggiginawai na o aya
romba aken na baaken midederang a ginawa ko a rasy ko olona man so
gawn na oman raken lomimbo so iroy ago so tadem na manako den a
ponay a somengko kagagawan sa daden a borodanon na dikoden
kapantonan na pekhasaodan aken sa dalaana maminar ka bakopen da
borodi a aloyo so damo-aw na daa biyorodanon na adaw rintanga pikir a
tangkeda lolotaken namawatan sa ginawa i baakongka lembae sa oragis
ago dapat a tadman sa tonganay na inao na maregen na aya ola-olako na
marinao di marinao raraprap ko wig na diko maphaka anged

i ba adempen a ragat a salakaw ko kalodan ka diko maphaka anged ka

soden so ranonaken sa romba a ladaneka a oba sagona madiwang i
kapenggignawai ka rongko pakakelasa i iniliboteng sa darem ka toba ako
maribon na asara pimbitakan a lomalan sa tadman na oso kakhondalia na
malo ko kondaraan ka minikarangaken den so inisomaringeno wig a dita
kaphanarigan ka lalayon di tanggongen na oso lad o ladangko na diden
simbaran sa tig ka osa imnatowaya na pezeleg sa madiris ko lapal o
bilanga tawo na pegondaya ko alam so botoon ko otowan ka pelangkap ko
maklok so kakasi o alongan ka pezinta somalindaw ko belangan ko
dangaday na osa imantow aya na tiyalingoma rasay so da malayam sa
dindang na inadil so bolawan sa ropa katonganaya . aya katanodanon na
na diman mkambinentay sa ba makapayandeg ka so simalawn o ganding
na mindaog sa kakasi a ipekhasirang o tawo ko mawatan go marani na
pezengko ko pagiridan sa panogodana bantog na mitho manto kargan i
ola-ola kargan.

Na lengenan ta sayaden i giyagaw sa kanggaring ka makabolotha ribon na

ditaden makatimbang ko mga bantoga a tawo. Inao ala sorat na o amay ka
marinaw na balingangka sa rinaw na sowi ka sa rangkono ka bataden
maka alang sa ko tawo a makadadaya. Tamat.

Meaning…

This is a sample love intended for a girl who has many inquiries in a certain relation. It
could be a jealousy for another girl, forming an angle of breaking with boys. If the boys
will know their relation is uncertain due to triangular assumption of the girl, this love letter
will be delivered to the family of the girl. The introductory part of the letter is an
instruction of the writer to the letter to display a beautiful mode of the recipients, as a
common man pleading in front of prestigious parsons, since the letter will be read in
public. After the introduction, the writer will portray his longing for a faithful and true
relation. He will try to convince the reader that any suspicious act with regard to other
relation is denied. His strong denial is express by elaborating his sleepless nights, the tears
and his promise. A well decorated word that breaks the heart of the reader and the
listeners.
Usually, a love letter would run from 5 pages to 10 pages or even more than that,
depending on the deepness of the letter and the capacity of the writer. This letter is read
with rhyme and the reader is an official reader of this kind with a melodious voice. The
voice would vary according to the meaning of the words with in this letter. If the letter
seems sentimental, we expect audience crying while reading this letter.
The group of the girls will decide to answer the letter if it requires to be answered. If non of
the group knew better how to compose a letter, they will hire a composer. The writer will
follow every line of the letter so that he will not misinterpret the meaning intended by the
sender. A very familiar trouble in this relationship occurs when a boy or girl is betrothed to
another. This practice is common among Maranaw. The merriment for courtship is
meaningless when one is betrothed. The other will be married to another which he/she
don’t even meet.

A girl will reply:

Pzambesamber pman s Pzamber o inodara magaog a makapokaw sa pikir

ka oman raken lomimbo na dikoden kapantunan na kasaudangko sa lo ka
awga pindo iyan a kiyarendana raken ka aden kon a salakaw a maka
biraye sa dar, na inao ala kirim na obaka phadanon ko tawa malambata
tawn na oba kidar mipangkat na bolayokangka rinaw na lengi angka a
gagaw na dikapman prondan. Amay ka minayongka ko mawatana
salinding a aya kadederangan o tantowa lolotaken na aloyo angka pindo,
na perinarinawingka na gongkawn panothola a soden so kyatangked a
mithinampiri so wig sa salalaw a legawan na mana koden a tikaw a
rinadongana torog, ka kagiya si maregen a romibon ka romibon na obabo
piragatan a kabsaran so insan na go bo rangkono mawog sa makarampana
sa dar,na kiyabagowam pman so kapenggiginawai a dita masangkaya dar
na daandorangan tawon.
Ino saken maregen a minsan orimpay so wig ka ana manayo sa dar, na
katigangkoron a pakapepenogoden sa ginawnagka ranongko a thalenda
ka inalang a biyolawangko sa dar baaken mambo ngaran a karenda renda
aken ko kayo mering bolawan na birai sa mawatan na lengengka inantara
a maregen sa ginawa ka mathakho patogina a kandadilagaken ko kayowa
pata romaging na di ta kaphagimanan ka bimban sa sakaingud na inao
bolawangko na odaka zarog maganatang sa romangkono so pandang na
manganon so kanggaring na obako minikopor a sekabo i kawgan a
kataman sa ranon na kagiya sa imanto na sansara imantawn ka inalangako
niyan sa inikasawanga dar.
Inao ala kirim na o amay ka marinaw na goka makambalingan na
zanaangka ko gadong so panyolam masaleg a pimbogabonga dar a
daraken pethorogen a kinidakatengkoron ko ingaran di matembo na oba
kelas so sigay na mimbalingan ki ladan ka apiya di manayo ka ba kilasan
gagaw na pagadimaten aken a tadman ko kanggaring ka dibo tatap sa
pikir na matag pephaka alang ko kanayo initangkap a ipzorota iman.
Marendan so inzana sa ginawangka a kirim na paladangkawn layok so
toladang kamanisan ka bankari di katawi a pito barang so borok a
inikhanayoon ka ba aya koron sabot rendanen ta niyambo sa daa kasidan
tawon. Na Lengenan ta sayaden e ranon gagaw sa lolot ka bataden
tatangkeden a tawa malamba tawon...Tamat

Meaning…

Upon receipt of the letter, it will be known to the entire family. Possibly
the cause of the break-up is that the boy betrothed to another girl. There
is really place for jealousy especially if another girl, is influential than the
other. The introductory part of the girl’s letter is heart-breaking. The
letter will have some reminder of the broke-up. It will consist of narration
and story about their belongingness and the feeling of the girl about the
relation develop. Another touching point is how a girl survived with
loneliness knowing the relation is impossible. Letter like this usually
accompanied by souvenirs returned to the boy. A promise will be made by
the girl not look for another boy, hence breaking the heart of the boy. The
letter will be instructed to get back some souvenirs given by the girl, if
she provided. Included in the contents of this letter is the hardship of the
girl in trusting the boy, yet it turns out to be impossible.

4.) K Kapaniwaka

As the courtship developed, the boy will give gift to a girl but in a form of
friendship. The relationship is still unofficial hence the gift should be
treated as for friendship only. This part of the courtship requires the boy
for unconditional surrender. He has to satisfy every member of the family
including the relatives. It is possible too that the gifts are not only meant
for the girl but to the entire family. By doing this, any member of the
family who disagree on the relation can give way and allow the boy for a
formal relation. The relation will be known to the public by involving the
relatives of the boy.

5.) K Kapangilay-lay

The boy will reveal this relation to his parents. If the family of the boy is finically ready for the
formal relation, they will visit the family of the girl. This for them to get familiarize with girl.
Many angles have to be considered in this way. They will judge on the way the girl entertained
visitors and the financial status of the girl. Sometimes, if the girl is aware of this visit, she will
not personally meet the parents of the boy. This is advantageous than giving an inch for
comments about the beauty of the girl.

This visit did not seal the formality of the relationships. After this visit, the parents will discuss
on the possibility of the formal proposal. The formal proposal will be base on the capacity of
the girl. The dowry is the major factor that is why they will weigh on lowest possible amount to
propose. The family will start to find a possible mediator.

B.Kapanoksam

After a boy passed a major task in courting the girl, the parents will be
ready for a formal proposal. Finding for a possible mediator is the key.
Sometimes if a mediator is not intelligent in handling the proposal, it will
cause the two parties for a serious break-up. To find a perfect mediator,
the family of the boy will for an influential and closely related to both of
them. He must be a Datu or a Bae, or any person from a well-known family
with financial capacity, able and willing for the said purpose.

The importance of a perfect mediator play an important role in the

propose marriage. It is this person who will carry the voice of both
families. To arrive at healthy negotiation, the mediator will come to the
family of the girl for preliminary talks. This is to clear the negotiation
possible.

1.) Kapanok-tokao

“Kapanoka-tokao” is one way of securing permission to access serious

talks. The official negotiator will find it himself as to the availability of the
girl. It is because, any serious talks for marriage proposal is totally
banned on girl who has a pending other family’s proposal. To make it
possible, the previous proposal must have a formal break-up before new
proposal. If everything is clear as to any other pending or previous
proposal, the mediator will touch on the dowry.
The proposal on the dowry is the determinant to the proposal. Sometimes,
if the family of the girl is not satisfied with the proposed dowry, they will
merely advise the mediator to keep it secretly and go back to the family of
he boy. This is how the mediator played an important role. A good
negotiator will not go home empty-handed. He will try all possible ways.
An influential and financially able negotiator is highly recommended for
this purpose. If the amount previously agreed by the family of the boy is
not enough, he will find ways and means to make it possible. In a related
instance, the mediator will supply his own asset just to perfect his tasks.

The role of the negotiator will progress as all possible ways has been
agreed by him and the family of the boy. As it developed, the mediator
will set a schedule for public appearances of the two families. This is to
announce the relation publicly.

2.) Kandialaga

A series of preliminary talks have been done. The two families will be
ready to see each other publicly. All interested relatives and friends of
both families will be invited for the formal announcement of the proposal.
The settled amount of dowry will be announced too in this affair. Series of
talks will be made in public, announcing the ties-up of the two families.
The hosts (family of the girl) will formally opened the program, by asking
the guest of their noble purpose of visit. Any representative from the boy
will answer and announce their interest for the proposal. The host will
again answer and asked for an amount that will enable the boy for such
proposal. Another representative from the boy will announce the highest
possible amount that the boy can have for his noble intention. This time,
the boy will announce a higher amount which turns to be sky is the limit.
This is possible since both families know the limits as revealed by the
negotiator.
With regards to this affair, the groom must bring wit them an amount
which is 10% of the total agreed dowry. This amount is excluded from the
principal dowry. The family of the girl will have a festivity of foods to
serve the guest. If the agreed amount is higher, the same will reflects on
the preparation of the foods. The observing public will know how much
amount is agreed by just estimating the foods being served. On their way
home, they will have a live discussions on the affair, may be positive or
negative feedbacks.

The relation has been made in public. The boy can visit the girl anytime he
wanted. He is a official visitor, and can even talk to her, if the girl allows
him.

3.) Kapaniwaka

“Kapaniwaka” as mentioned in this writing has two stages. One for the
start of the courtship as the relation has not been announce in public and
another after the formal announcement. The “kapaniwaka” in this stage is
formal and publicly done. To be sure, this affair is a big one and needs
more preparation. This is to give gifts to the concerned family that
included the friends of the girl. Usually the groom will bring native
Maranaw foods and cosmetic products. The later will be afforded to the
friends and family of the girl who are single. Any amount spend in this
purpose is not a reduction to the principal dowry.
The boy will be faced a major issue in balancing the official relationships.
The expenses will be unaccounted just to stabilize the said relationship.

4.) Kapamaton sa Tamok

“Kapamaton sa Tamok” means the presentation of the dowry. Mostly, the
affair is formal. Other did not bother for the formality, especially if the
amount seems incomplete. If it is incomplete, the mediator will just bring
the said amount to the family of the girl. In this manner, the bride’s family
can have preliminary expenses for the purpose. The basic needs will
include bridal dress and expenses for invitations. Others will be for
decoration and mobilization of the incoming affair.
The relations of the two have been tied-up, so that the boy can even sleep
to the house of the girl. This will be time that the two families will
schedule the wedding.

5.) Leka sa Dolang

Theses are samples of Maranaw Traditional Dolang

It is mentioned above that after the dowry is presented, the boy is

allowed for any visit and can even sleep to the house of the girl. “Leka sa
Dolang” which laterally means, opening of the Dining table. The dining
table will be officially opened for the two. This affair will be made formal
to the families of the two and their friends. In the formal opening, both
friends will be made available to bring the two together in the dining
table. Classical Maranaw girl is very shy even if the relations have been
made official. It is the friends who will initiate effort to bring the two
together. This is the unique role that friends can to the bride and the
groom. They will break the gap.

There is a specified amount that the boy has to pay for this affair. The said
amount will be divided accordingly to the friends of the girl. But the said
friends will exclude male friends of the girl. The rest of the night will be
merry making. This will serve as the night for their unmarried days.
Today’s generation consider this as shower party.

II. MARRIAGE

A.) Kambityara

As everything has been settled, the two families will schedule the
wedding. There are tasks to handle before the formal wedding. Other
influential family will have the “kambityara separate from the wedding
ceremony. Kambityara is a family affair, which the family will feast two to
three days before the wedding. Other hurdles will be encountered in this
stage. Sometimes, this will cause the family of the boy to back-out. The
expenses incurred in this manner exceed to the principal dowry. If the
groom is not ready for the other trials, they will withdraw the proposal
including the dowry. The mediator will enter the scene and come for
another negotiation. If the mediator even found it too much, he himself
will withdraw, thus causing the official break-up. This is the worse of all
the stage because the boy has already incurred major losses. The money
that will suppose to be returned is less down expenses and other major
expenses related to the affair. Mostly, only a portion of the dowry will be
returned or as high as 25% of the principal dowry.

As this stage progress, the official mediator will come to find another man
who can support his fight. Both families who favor on the success of the
marriage will come to mediate. Any additional expense incurred will be
divided accordingly by the mediators. Any losses on the side of the
mediators might be acknowledge by the family of the girl, thus giving
them chance for a return of the said amount.
If the affair seems successful, the organizers will form the program, thus
providing the two family equal parts. As to speeches, it requires the two
to have equal representatives. Speakers will have a minimum of four
speakers excluding the guest of honor. This will bring the program to
another stage.

B.) Kaidang

“Kaidang” will come almost simultaneous with the ‘katahro sa Lalag”. As

the program progress, the Baes or any intelligent women representative
from the side of the girl will come and bring foods to the family of the boy.
If the wedding require for a Carabao meat, at least a ¼ portion of it will be
brought to the groom’s family. This will enable the groom’s family equal
sharing of the food preparation as the wedding is pending, waiting for the
related ceremony. Other will just give an amount to compensate the said
affair. Few families did not bother depending on the agreement of the two
families. While “kaidang” is done, the program will continue depending on
the length of the program. Mostly, the ceremony will be shortened and
the rest will be arranged locally. This will make the program to run within
one day affair only instead of two or three days. But the hurdles before is
non-negotiable. Generally speaking, the additional expenses of the groom
are fixed.

C.) Katharo sa lalag

“ Katharo sa lalag” has two stages too. If the ceremony require two to
three days affair, the katharo sa lalag on the “kambityara is separate
from the “kataharo sa lalag” an hour before the wedding. The Katharo sa
lalag is a historical speech which the speakers will trace ancestral lineage
of both the families. This time, both families will have at least four
speakers. The two speakers will be responsible for the mother side of the
boy, another two for the father side, while two again for the mother side
of the girl and lastly , two for the father side of the girl, thus making them
equal to eight speakers. If the affair seems to run in this manner, the
program will run for two days before the formal wedding.

D.) Kakhawing
“Kakahawing” is the formal wedding ceremony. The boy will dress
properly, as the father of the girl will turned all his responsibilities to him.
Everything has been settled except for the other hurdles intended for this
affair. “Kakhawing is simply the point which the father of the bride or the
nearest kin in the absence of the father, will turn over all the
responsibilities of the later of the girl to the groom. The groom will accept
the said responsibilities and deemed accountable in any manner in case
the groom failed to comply. The caring, the loving, including a total
commitment that a father has to a daughter will be turned over to the
hands of the groom.
In another instance, this requires the boy to educate if possible the girl.
This prohibits the man for gambling, drinking wine and other illegal
activities as he take an oath not to do so. Any misconduct found out after
the marriage will entitle the girl to secure a divorce. Under Islamic Law,
only the boy who is capable of divorce, but if the society concerned found
that the man broke his promise on the wedding, he cannot decide for it
but the Law will prevail. This will break the marriage, thus the girl can
have another man as lawful husband. The second husband may or may not
follow the stages mentioned, for the girl is matured enough to decide for
herself. In short, a divorced wife can suggest a man to be his lawful
husband. On the contrary, the man can have another wife, though the
man is not prohibited to have another wife, with as many as four wives
because it is provided in the Islamic Law.

Before the turned over ceremony, which is the “kakhawing”, another

hurdles to test the security of the man awaits.

1.) Lantong

“Lantong” in its lateral meaning is the “gate pass” to be secured by the

groom before entering the Ceremonial Rites. Usually the ceremonial rites
will be held in the bride’s residence or in any place provided by the bride’s
family. It simply a ceremony controlled by the bride’s family. The
“Lantong is an amount of money provided by the groom to unmarried
male relatives of the bride. This will serve as a pay for missing this bride.
The groom will have a total control of the bride hence they will demand an
amount to compensate their rights being taken by the groom.

There was an instance where both relatives of the bride, mother and
father side will demand equal amount. The family of the boy will be
financially unstable, so the relatives will compensate the said “gate pass.
If not, the mediator will come to neutralize the demand, or else, the
groom will back-out and it complicates the ceremony.

2.) Katharo sa lalag

The “katharo sa lalag” in this portion is done if ever the “kambityara”

takes a period of time. It is understood that the two are separate affair,
and the organization of the program is different. We can expect a series of
speech again from both families. We find it really monotonous to listen.
The speech will again concentrate on family of origin. It will make the
affair very boring especially for those who cannot understand ancient
Maranaw Language. The repetition of terms and history about their
ancestors will dominate the program. Both sides of the groom and the
bride will be given chance to speak. There is no limit for any number
delivered, thus making the program gloomy. The katharo sa lalag in this
part is an hour before the turn over ceremony of the father of the bride
and the groom. The listeners are completely trapped in this affair. They
cannot decide to go out since the ceremony is on its climax.

Example of katharo sa lalag:

A Traditional Maranaw with each Traditional Maranaw Attire-in Katharo sa
lalag

" pitowa sa kasapaat sa tawo. ( speech when you are serving foods in a
formal affair)

Magodasako rekano a langon a datu na aya samporna iyan na sekano wa

langon a bae, Aya kiya odasi ko rekano ko lalag na maphakalangkap aken
rekano a idin a panduan raken a sulutanaya, a phakisabotan ami rekano
langona bangsa mi a makamamasa imanto a alongan, sabap sa kiyatiyagar
a langona bangsa niyo, ko sapangkat ko kormat ami rekano a langowana
mapiya a tawo sa ranaw na aya mapipikir a sulutanaya na zapaatengkano
niyan sa halal a pangenengken a soti a pindiyakatan sa odi makatalakep
sa makaisa isa mikalap na obakano ziyanta ka oba so kiyatiyakapi ami
rekano na lambalambaan,ogaid na ana ibaratiyan, ka apiypen so mikail a
makatatngan ko muntia a iningaranan sa masjod a oran aipekoyambet
iyan ko alang manaot na da makaperengan rengan ka pembaloy a bagyaw.
ogaid na aya kibegay aken rekano a kasarigan na diyako ron matag
mananamokan odi niyo mauna matarima so balasiyan. Na aya mapiya
manga ngongoda na kararwi niyo siran.

Welcome address or kapakaingoma sa tawo

Na so paganay a kiyapayag o lalakho, na ipeza lingganata akaen ko lapal o

Jalallah, a tampat o iman a phoon a bekas a ingarano ALLAH, subhanahu-
wa-tallah, sabap sa katawiko sa so ALLAH (s.w.t.) na sekanyan i
makambabaya ko langon o kaaden iyan ka inaden yan so langit ago so
lopa a sarta o mandadalemeyan na initondog akenon so salam a sasartaan
naken a niyat a pangningko ko ALLAH (s.w.t.) a mambagian niyo so
sapangkat ko maana nyana kalilintad ago kapipiya ginawa a giyanan den i

babaloyin aken a pada adat ago panabiya rekano langon a mapiya a tawo
sa phangamponga ranaw ka aya saratiyan na aya kakhapayag o lalakho na
sabap ko katatademi ami ko dii kanggiginawai na go so dii kazezelai
makaiibarat ko kipezaboten ko dowa pandang a maliwanag a benar ko
madodowa so lapal

iyan na isa-isa so maana niyanna kagiya miyaka talingoma kano sangkaya

inged na aya mapipikir a

sulutanaya phakaingomaan ami sekano sa kalilintad na go kapipiya

ginawa a taros a likaan ami rekano so pito a pinto a panirowanga o
maliwanag sabap ko katatanto o atoran a biyaloy a bitikan a
pembethowan sa taritib na go igma a minipaginged sa ingeda ranaw na
aya karinawn na so pinto ago so kitala na dapen migadongka katotoosan
pen o tanod sa imanto na iphalad ami rekano angkaya a kalilimod sa
ingoma kano langon.

KATHARO SA LALAG KO KA KHAWING(wedding)

Bismilla irrahman irrahim,wasato wasalamo ala nabi Muhammad,

mizagipoon ako ko ingaran o kadnan a maporo na siyalawatan aken so
rasul a giyanan so tihaya a sindao a maliwag, na indawag aken rekano
angkai a SALAM a kalilintad a gii mikekenala o langowan a Muslim sa
dalma donya , Assalamo allaikum warahma tulla hi wabarakato,

Oriyan a giyanan a Salam na mbalowin ko a giyanan den I panabia akun ko

langwan a mga ala I kadatu sa ranaw, so manga panorogan so manga
sulutan ago so gii governo ko kapepa laolad o ompia sa inged a ranaw, ka
siran na sii kiran matatago so atas tanggongan ko kaphaginged na go
siran I koma kapet ko egma ago so taritib sa Phangampong a ranao,

Sabap san na pagodas ako daan ko kapaka dadarepa o Sulutan sa Unayan

a kapapantagana (position)kataya a makamamasa a giya kababantogan a
(position) a sekaniyan I kapapantagan a Datu a cabugatan sa Masiu,
Sabap sa da kamasai ko Sulutan sa Baloi na pagodasan akenpen, na aya
mala a pagodasan aken na giya babai aken a potri maamor a darodopa o
Sulutan sa Bayabao. Na pagodasan aken sukano langon a lokes pagari ko
wata aken a makamamasa imanto a kalilimod a kandiamonga.

Giyangkai a masa tano a kandiyamonga, na masa a kapakalaba, na

kalilimod a kapakadair, na oras a katagompiya, sabap sa maphakarani
niyan so miyakawatan a kathotonganaya, na maphakaloto iyan so
miyakalogao a kambata-bataa na kailot iyan so miyakaloag a
kathatabanga na aya mala na mapakagarang iyan so kiyatepolan a dii
kanggiginawai,

Mipantag san manga lokes pagari ko balowin tano a giya I a kiya kamonga
angkai a dowa kambala na makaselang sa maliwag a angkai a dowakatao
a piyakatapi tano na rizkiyan siran o kadnan sa halal na pakapemoriataon
siran o Allah sa Salih, Saliha, manga Dr, Kaningkir, Engineer Abokado,
Atty, maetro maistra Teacher, na rakes a mamakasoled siran ko sorga o
Allahu ta Allah.

Ayakaposan ang kai a lalag ko na panalamatan aken ang kai a mbala a

mindiamonga sa dairan kapakandarainon sa kiya paka tokawa iran rekami
ago giya darodopa aken sangkai a kalilimod, Na pamangni ako rekanopen
sa maaf oba aden a dako katarotopi ko kiyapayag o sariat o lalag ko sabap
sa kangodaan akopen a gopen gii sinanad, sa ayamala na sobo so kadnan I
daa pawing iyan. Wassalam

3.) Sikawing
The ceremony seems to be in its final stage. The female folks of both the
mother and the father side of the bride will demand a separate amount
before the turn over ceremony. They will enter into the scene, bringing a
bedding to be use for the turn over ceremony. Some fin this to be asking
too much but he other considered this to be interesting. The folks looked
really funny, carrying with them the bedding to be paid. If the other
scenes seemed irritable, rather, this portion is very funny. The folks
feasted like catching for a last trip. The support of grooms relatives never
last. They will again provide an amount for these folks.

4.) Kaidin

“Kaidin” is the heart of this ceremony. The long winding road for progress
ended in this portion of the ceremony. The father of the bride will be
called to turn over his responsibilities to the groom. In the absence of the
groom, the next kin will do the same. The groom is considered clean, have
washed his body in an Islamic manner and dress properly to respect the
sacred ceremony. An Imam (equivalent to priest) will administer the
turnover rites. The father of the bride and the groom will hold their rights
hands together, wrapped with plain white cloth, the rites will formally
opened. The Imam will have some Islamic values for the grooms and the
father of the bride will start the turn over by mentioning the name of the
bride in tree consecutive times and so the groom will answer “yes”
consecutively too.
The rites will be followed by Islamic prayer, asking, ALLAH (s.w.t.) for
more blessing and children. The wedding has been made official, thus
requiring the groom to find his bride. The bride is in a separate place
guarded by her unmarried relatives and friends. The groom will seek for
the place, together with his escorts. The audience waited patiently as the
groom will bring with him his bride out side. Cheers and chants will echo
inside.
 5.) Leka sa Gibon

The unmarried female relatives will guard the room strictly. As the groom
and his escorts knocked on the door, the speaker of the ladies will publicly
expresses their demand. The amount demanded is equals to the demand
of the boys in Lantong. The attendance inside is participated by both the
mother and the father side of the bride. It is anticipated that before the
said affair, prior arrangement for the relatives of the groom who are
willing to share an amount is done. This well-organized affair will make
the ceremony more interesting. We can observe these relatives willing to
blow-off their pockets just to make the ceremony successful. This is where
closeness of ones relatives is tested. If the relatives are not organized,
this caused an instant break-up of the two families.
If everything is locally arranged, the bride and the groom will go out
together with their escorts and friends. Both old and young cheered for
the new couple.

The audience will be divided according to their desire. Some will returned
home while few will stay overnight. It is because the ceremony has not
ended for the interested one. Two hurdles remain unsolved on the part of
the groom.

6.) Boka sa Igot

“Boka sa igot” is laterally defined as the loosen of the belt. After the first
supper of the bride and the groom together with their friends and
relatives, the male married relatives will ask for the last time. The groom
will pay an amount to the said folks to compensate them his intention of
loosening his belt. After supper, usually the newly wed will come to bed.
The male relatives have to complain and ask for an amount. Any relatives
or friends for this purpose will give the desired money. More cheers
surrounded the house and the groom will be ready to sleep with his bride.
In other instance there is no actual first night for Maranaw newly wed
couple. It is because the first night is a merry making of the entire family.

7.) Leta-igaan

The “leta-igaan” is an amount or in kind that the bride demanded to his

husband. It is this time that she can ask freely for the relation has not
been consumed. It may be a set of jewelries or in the form of furniture.
This stage is the last hurdles for the groom. If the bride can wait for
another time, then the groom is a bit lucky. But most brides do not give a
chance for postponement because this is the only portion she has in all
those forms of festivity. This amount will be individually distributed, thus
depriving her all the chance to have one.

Some intelligent parents have to leave a percent of the principal dowry to

provide the couple a saving. This amount will help them to start a living.
But if the parents do not mind the newly wed, they will be walking in the
dark to start their living.
 8.) Kapogad

The parents of the boy will prepare for the next couple of days. They will
visit the couple with rice complete with all the spices that couple need in
the kitchen. “Pogad” would mean, to keep them away fro the hatch. The
new couple seems like in a hatch that waits for a mother bird to help
them. With this visit, the couple can start independently without asking
from the parent

GENERALIZATION AND ANALYSIS:

The Maranaw of today lost some of the stages in courtships. To be fair

with this tradition, the marriage did not lost its value. The stages of
marriage still exist on the Maranaw society. However, due to relevant
Islamic values and teaching, the requirements are lighter. Just like the
merry making made from “kambityara”. It will take two to three days for
the families, just to celebrate, but rarely can we hear an affair like this.

In courting, the stages almost vanish from this society. The

“kapanganakan” or serenade was replaced by mobile texting and on line
chat. We still have the pananroon because some Maranaw school
protected this tradition as culture. Every “Buwan ng Wika” or the month
of language for Filipino, which include culture is activated. The
“kandaonga” for this matter only exist to Barrio people which the up-
bringing is more on a Maranaw way Serenade is nowhere to find. With
strong impact of on line chatting and friendster, every inch of this practice
has gone, and only a history can tell.
With regards to Marriage, all stages of this practice exist. The
“kambityara” for this matter is made popular by the Politicians. The very
reason for this is there financial capacity and to gain more votes. The
popularity they can have in this practice can gain more votes from the
majority. Their name will be known to the to the public, that is why inspire
of the financial risks, they will combat for it just to increase their
popularity rating. For the rest of this society, they will not sacrifice their
time and skip required time for prayers. In as much as possible, they will
shorten the time to minimize absences in praying.

Though, some hate for this kind of practice, but is very advantageous for
some reasons. Just like in Marriage, which series of hurdles remain
untouched even with the modern society, the closeness of both the
relatives of the bride and the groom is preserved. With the principal
dowry alone, the groom will spend from 150-500 thousands or even higher
depending on the influence of the families involved. But through the
closeness of both mother and father side of the groom, everything is
possible. This one unique value of the Maranaw, they will not allow their
relatives to cry in front of others. This is because of the essence of
“Maratabat”. What somebody has to say about them or how will
somebody think of them and how shall somebody see them. All of these
phrases and line touch their ego. Their relatives are their wealth. Money is
just an amount that can be gained back if you try, but a foregone pride is
kept permanent which can never be recovered.