Anda di halaman 1dari 32

Potsdam, June 26th 2009

A DEFINITION OF COACHING

Julie Kennedy Dianastrasse 9 14482 Potsdam Germany jkvano@hotmail.com

Word count: 7,978

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

INDEX

A. B. C. D. E. F. G. H. I. J. K.

Introduction What is Coaching? Where did it come from and why? Who is Coaching for? What does Coaching do? How does it work? Coaching skills, qualities and mindset What Coaching is not Areas to address Conclusion Biography

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

INTRODUCTION

Discovering Coaching at the age of forty, as a client, student coach and self-coach I was immediately bowled over by its simple yet transformational power. It came therefore as a surprise to realise that not everyone thought as I do. The term Coaching is relatively new, lacks as yet official defining standards and means different things to different people. What better topic for me, as student coach, than to probe deeper into defining what Coaching is, in order to further communicate my enthusiasm for the topic, not only based on my profound inner conviction but also on a broader, more factual base of knowledge. It would be impossible, in the frame of this thesis to cover everything in depth so I have opted instead to touch lightly on a wide spectrum of topics. I will start with examining a definition of the Coaching concept, naming the main categories of Coaching and some of the main schools, before moving on to where did Coaching come from and why did it come about. I will then shortly define who Coaching is for, before attempting to summarise what Coaching can do and will then show some different processes for the different schools of Coaching and provide an example of a Coaching session. Which skills and abilities are essential for the good coach will be examined next, followed by a specification of what Coaching is not before ending on some areas to be addressed in the Coaching arena. I would like to stress that this essay should not be read as a scientific paper but as my personal understanding, interpretation and views on Coaching derived from my reading and practice.

WHAT IS COACHING?

The term Coaching literally comes from an old Anglo-Saxon word for a carriage, which is something that takes you from where you are now to where you want to be. In a nutshell: Coaching is a vehicle to transport a client from where he is now in his life to where he wants to be. Others have defined Coaching as:

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

The art of facilitating the performance, learning and development of another.1 Helping you do your best.2 Unlocking a persons potential to maximize their own performance.3 Coaching closes the gap between thinking about doing and doing: Curly Martin.4 Coaching is about performing at your best through the individual and private assistance of someone who will challenge, stimulate and guide you to keep growing.5 Coaching is about GETTING RESULTS and helping clients understand their way of generating problems. Coaching will assist a client in defining what they want, removing obstacles, setting goals taking into account values and purpose, striving for balance and fulfilment. There are many categories of Coaching such as: Life Coaching (determining and achieving personal goals) Business Coaching: (providing support to an individual or group in order to improve the effectiveness of their business.) Personal Coaching (an agreement between coach and client based on the clients expressed interests, goals and objectives) Health Coaching (health and illness management) Sports Coaching (improving technique and performance) Relationship Coaching (improving success in dating and relationships) Conflict Coaching (matrimonial or other where client learns to improve Project Coaching (management of teams) Situational Coaching (improvement of performance within a context) Transitional Coaching (between jobs or roles) Educational Coaching (improving academic success or family relationships)

conflict management skills and abilities)

1 2

Effective coaching: Myles Downey Fish sticks, Stephen Lundin, Harry Paul, John Christensen 3 Coaching for performance: John Whitmore 4 The life coaching handbook: Curly Martin 5 Gerard Donovan, Founder and CEO of Noble Manhattan Coaching

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

For the sake of this thesis and the broadness of Coaching topics, I will be concentrating on one on one life/personal Coaching. There are many schools of Coaching that have evolved over the years though the distinctions between them are not always clear-cut as they build on each other as the discipline and our knowledge evolves. I have briefly named a few of those which seemed to me the most significant to give an overview and will expand on some in the section on Coaching history and present their methodologies in the section on how Coaching works. Schools of Coaching: The inner Game: Timothy Gallwey. Self One is the ego mind, the self-consciousness and the urge to control; self two is our unconscious, reflexive, wisdom of the body6. The coach helps the player program the two selves to work in the best way. Co-active Coaching: Laura Whitwort, Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl Involves the active and collaborative participation of both the coach and the client as equals. GROW model: Graham Alexander A structured methodology: Goal, Reality, Options, and What will you do Integral Coaching: Ken Wilber Cultivates body, mind and spirit in the individual, as well as in culture and nature. Neuro-Linguistic Programming: John Grinder and Richard Bandler Studies the structure of subjective experience, in particular how language affects the way we think and act. Symbolic modelling: James Lawley and Penny Tompkins Facilitates individuals to become familiar with the symbolic domain of their experience so that they can discover new ways of perceiving themselves and their world. Positive psychology Coaching: Based on the power of positive thinking, it researches how we have positive emotions and how we can get more of them.
6

Timothy Gallwey: The inner game of tennis

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

Psycho-cybernetics: Maxwell Maltz Studies the goal-oriented behaviour of mechanical systems, which sees the unconscious as a goal striving servomechanism consisting of the brain, and the nervous system, which is used and directed by the mind. Behavioural Coaching: Shifts the focus from the clients inner goals, values and motivation to their external behaviour assuming that behaviour is learned and can be unlearnt, re-learnt or modified. Ontological Coaching: Studies the clients way of being, the dynamic interaction of language, emotions and physiology, which together need to be altered in order to change your way of being. Developmental Coaching: Recognizes clearly defined stages of development, where what you learn and how you learn depends on your development stage (how we construct the world from our experience, culture and language). We learn in a horizontal way, adding each time to what we have and we develop vertically defining what we are at each higher level. The Integrated model: Where a non-judgemental, non-directional trust is set up between the two equal partners coach and client, plus the methodology based on questions raising awareness, showing new perspectives and stepping back from the issues, deciding what they want and taking responsibility for setting and achieving goals whereby the client arrives at his own solution.

WHERE DID COACHING COME FROM AND WHY

Maybe Socrates, the classical Greek philosopher (469 399 BC) could be seen as the first coach. The Socratic method, instead of arguing, asked a series of questions which lead to examining assumptions and changing the thinking of those he was interacting with. From that point of view, priests, professors, philosophers and parents have always been coaches.

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

At the beginning of the 20th Century, Coaching centred on sport. The breakthrough came in 1974 with Timothy Gallweys book: The Inner game of tennis and the concept that the biggest opponent is not on the other side of the net but within. Around the same time at the ESALEN Centre for humanistic psychology, Werner Erhard developed an awareness-training program but Thomas Leonard probably did the most to found the discipline of Coaching in the 1980s starting with his 1988 course: Design your life. Until the 90s Coaching developed principally in the USA though ontological Coaching was well developed in Spain and Latin America. Graham Alexander first brought the Inner game and GROW model to Europe in the 1980s and Sir John Whitmore provided the breakthrough when he used them for Coaching for Performance in the UK during the 1990s and applied them to business. And 1999 saw the first Coaching academy in the UK. There are many cultural influences within Coaching: On the one hand the Western practical and utilitarian approach (Gallwey & Leonard), but Buddhism and Eastern thinking, the being as well as the doing also particularly influenced Tim Gallwey. Why did Coaching come about? Richard Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist, describes Coaching as a meme which is a unit of cultural information that can be transferred from one mind to another. Memes spread like biological mutations: if they fit with the cultural mores and values, they flourish, if they are at odds with the times, they wither and become extinct. They are like seeds that will grow if they are given the right environment.7 Coaching arose then by a cultural need of society. With most basic needs fulfilled, Western society had the luxury of looking to how well or not we were fulfilling our interior needs. The disciplines at the heart of Coaching can be defined as: 7

The Humanistic psychology and human potential movement of the 1960s

How coaching works: Joseph OConnor, Andrea Lages

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

The western large scale interest in Buddhism and Eastern philosophy which can also be traced to the 1960s Constructivism and the notion that we construct our world and actions Linguistic studies in the past 30 years, in particular Neuro- Linguistic Programming with the notion that our use of language reflects our personal reality.

The interest in these disciplines originated with societys concerns with: Social isolation (urban migration, decline in traditional family structure, global world, decline in organised religion) The sovereign individual meaning (desire to find meaning in ourselves and not just in our achievements) The Internet and accelerated social change. Corporate uncertainty as the business world became more global A rapid need for constant innovation to keep up with competition Increasing time pressure A need to develop people and curb replacement A need for new skills to answer new demands Coaching moved from the sports to the business world mainly due to:

Now Coaching is increasingly present in the personal development area. In the UK in 2003 Coaching was the second fastest growing economical area after I.T. By now Coaching has past the fad stage and is becoming self- sustainable and integrating many aspects of society.

WHO IS COACHING FOR?

Anyone can be coached if they are willing8. Maybe I would add, anyone mentally sound can be coached.

Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

In section H, I will develop what Coaching is not but for now will limit myself to saying any person with normal mental facilities, who is committed and willing to step outside their comfort zone can be coached. It is never too late to change, equally, though Coaching on values etc may not be appropriate for younger children, as their personalities are not fully formed, Coaching works wonderfully with children: for example establishing a trusting rapport, boosting self confidence, accelerating and improving learning and much more as mentioned in David Miskimin and Jack Stewarts book: The coaching parent. Personally I do not accept children under 18 without parental consent Now that we are getting a better idea of what Coaching is, why and where it came from and whom it is for, lets move on to what Coaching actually does:

WHAT DOES COACHING DO?

Coaching implies results, a change for the better but how to define changing a life? I should maybe start with what for me are emerging as the main things Coaching does: 1. It builds awareness and responsibility 2. It removes the interference so we can perform at our natural best Coaching builds awareness: Awareness of who we are, recognising our values, defining what we want but also awareness of how we as social beings fit in to society, our impact on others and of the differences between our individual perceptions of reality. We go through life with varying quantities of hurts and scars; many of our frustrations come from feeling hard done by. One wonderful thing Coaching can do is make us aware that even though we cant change the events that happen to us, we can change how we choose to interpret them and let them affect the rest of our lives. It is not the events of our life that shape us but our beliefs as to what those events mean9. Coaching makes you more awake.

Awaken the giant within: Anthony Robbins

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

Coaching builds responsibility Responsibility for who we are and for what we do. We become pro-active and not reactive, we decide. We are a culture of blamers and by not taking responsibility we place our potential to be happy in the hands of things, events, people outside our circle of influence, which makes us vulnerable and dependent. Coaching makes us take responsibility for our own happiness, balance, and peace of mind. We learn to take responsibility for who we are, how we feel and think about things and empower ourselves through controlling our decisions. It is your decisions, not your conditions that determine your destiny10 Coaching removes the interference limiting our performance In the Inner Game Tim Gallwey gives the following definition: Potential interference = performance. This implies that we have that greater potential already in us but are limited by the interference. Coaching will then help detect the limiting beliefs we have about our capacities, question them, replace them with empowering beliefs, boost our self confidence and help clear away the interference to listen to the still small voice within.11 Coaching has many different dimensions but fundamentally operates on two levels: Transactional Coaching which is making something we do better, doing it in a more efficient, productive, fulfilling way. A wonderful metaphor is that of transactional being compared to re-doing your apartment, changing the furniture, re-decorating. The other is transformational Coaching where you radically change how you see and act and could be compared to moving up a floor in the building to a better, bigger, apartment.

10 11

Awaken the giant within: Anthony Robbins Coaching for performance: John Whitmore

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

10

From these central achievements of Coaching derive very many specific things Coaching can do in order to help a client move forward. Sometimes a client will come with a specific transactional issue and through working on it will open up other areas of their life and end up with a larger transformation than initially intended. It is hard to separate the different achievements as they are frequently linked but Coaching can for example help clients: Find their personal values Many people know what they want to have but not what they want to be12. By taking time, in a trusting environment to discover your core values, what you really need for you to be you, and also maybe your relationship, education, career values. Etc; Coaching will unveil your guiding map making decisions clearer, so you can check on your personal compass if you are headed in the right direction. Re-scripting ourselves so that the paradigms from which our behaviour and attitude flow are congruent with our deepest values and in harmony with correct principles.13 These core values will provide the fuel for our life journey. Discover their vision, life journey and purpose: We have the means but not the meaning said Dr Frankl.14 Man is by definition a future orientated person and needs a sense of purpose, a mission that gives meaning to his life covering the need to: live, love, learn and leave a legacy. The deep burning yes that empowers us to say no to the less important things in our lives.15 For coach Stephen Covey, happiness is found in the gap between stimulus and response and how we use that gap, recommending filling it with our values and mission and living a life true to our deeper selves. Striving to find a meaning is the primary motivational force in man. 16 From our values and the roles we fulfil, coaching can assist a client in wording a personal mission statement, which will act as a grounding element, that deep satisfying feeling of being on
12 13

Awaken the giant within: Anthony Robbins The 7 habits of highly effective people: Stephen Covey 14 Mans search for meaning: Viktor Frankl 15 First things first: Stephen Covey 16 Mans search for meaning: Viktor Frankl

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

11

purpose. From that mission statement, that beginning with the end in mind17 approach, a client will then be able to evaluate where he stands now and set goals to keep moving in the right direction. These are transformational aspects of Coaching however not all clients come with a crisis of meaning; some have straightforward areas they wish to improve on. Coaching will help them: Choose, set and achieve goals: Coaching helps the client specify the desired results, set guidelines, identify resources, define accountability and determine the consequences in line with their values and mission and consciousness to what is in their circle of influence (performance goals) and within their circle of concern (end goal). Coaching has a whole set of tools to ensure the goals are S.M.A.R.T 18; P.U.R.E 19, C.L.E.A.R20 with an array of methodologies, charts and creative and motivational tools. Increase self- esteem Everything you attract into your life is a reflection of what you feel you deserve.21 Coaching will help boost self-confidence and self-reliance. Our feeling of self-esteem comes from the feeling we control our lives and are not drifting, letting people and events decide for us. Coaching will help increase pro- activity, positive thinking about oneself through various exercises, affirmations, mental picturing. Once we are happy with ourselves, we are then in a position to reach out and make others happy. I was surprised the other day by someones comment that coaching was egocentric all about getting richer financially or emotionally. I would say what that person failed to understand is that we cannot reach out to the outside world till we are strong inside. It is only once we are fully grounded and at peace with ourselves, that we love ourselves enough that we can then move to the more gratifying step of sharing with others.

17 18

The 7 habits of highly effective people: Stephen Covey Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, Time related 19 Positively stated, Understood, Relevant, Ethical; 20 Challenging, Legal, Environmentally sound, Appropriate, Recorded 21 Be your own life coach: Fiona Harrold

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

12

Harness motivation: Coaching will help understand how we motivate ourselves, enabling us to take action consistently and decisively. Attaining balance: Balance of roles: Man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any other department. Life is one indivisible whole (Mahatma Gandhi22). Coaching will help provide the big picture and synergise the various elements of a clients life around the values and goals to provide a more balanced position. But also inner balance: As Viktor Frankl said Mental health is based on a certain degree of tension between what one has already achieved and what one still ought to accomplish, or the gap between what one is and what one should become.23 Helps to learn: This is in particular true for non-directional Coaching. Once the client has resolved an issue in one area of his life, he will be able to use that knowledge to resolve others without depending on a coachs guidance. For coach Myles Downey: The coachs primary job is to help the player (client) learn and not to teach. The client will learn about themselves, how they think and how to make that thinking more empowering. Here is how some renowned coaches define what Coaching does: For Joseph OConnor and Andrea Lages, Coaching: turns everyday life into selfdevelopment, helps people to become more themselves, enriches society, helps us tolerate ambiguity in ourselves and others, make new distinctions and live a happier, richer life.24 And Coaching helps the client build the future they desire and activate the resources they need, as clients become more proficient with each tool, they can progressively use them by themselves and for other issues. For Myles Downey: The goal of Coaching is to establish a firmer connection with an inner authority that can guide vision and urge excellence and discriminate wisdom
22 23

Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948, political and spiritual leader of India Mans search for meaning, Viktor Frankl 24 How coaching works: Joseph OConnor and Andrea Lages

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

13

without being subject to an inner bully that has established its certification from external dictates and imposes them on you without your authority to do so25 Part of why Coaching works is because, in that moment when the player communicates to another and is understood, the thoughts are externalised and a certain distance is achieved between the player (client) and their thoughts and emotions26 In summary, Coaching helps discover who you are, where you want to go, what you are willing to do to get there, how, and accompanies in making the changes and moving on. It can be transactional where the behaviour changes or transformational, where the habits of thinking are changed. Coaching is about RESULTS and moving forward. It is about change. It is about becoming more aware of ourselves and of others and taking responsibility for our lives. Coaching can be applied to any issue. The most frequent ones have mostly to do with: Work/life balance Career choices Time management Health issues (in particular weight, fitness and smoking) Suffering from overwhelm Relationship challenge Achieving success at work Inability to focus

HOW DOES COACHING WORK?

Coaching offers many different approaches, methodologies and tools. The various schools of Coaching I mentioned in section B use different methodologies to move the client forward.

25 26

Effective coaching Myles Downey Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

14

Some are more directive than others but all are linked by their desire to help the client make a difference and treat the client as a whole. Inner Game: Potential minus interference = performance. Through the means of objective, non-judgemental feedback, the coach will help the client become his own coach and will guide him to finding what he wants and program self Two by way of images, then step aside and let it happen by accessing the natural inner flow. Co-active coaching: Works from the inside out and is based on the following four corner stones: The client is naturally creative resourceful and whole, the agenda comes from the client, the coach is open and flexible, and the coaching covers the clients whole life. Then by the coachs listening skills, intuition, curiosity, action approach and his own self -effacement, the client will find his own solutions. GROW: Works from the outside in. G is the end goal, the inspiration and is accompanied by a performance goal that is within the clients circle of influence. R is for reality (objective and specific), O is for Objectives (measurable and specific), W is for the way forward (with action plan and timeline). An example on this further down. Integral coaching: Operates from three perspectives: I, You, He / She. The aim is to balance the cognitive, moral, emotional, interpersonal and psychosexual areas. This approach will work with the client on the levels and states where they have the most potential to make happier, more complete and fulfilled human beings. Neuro-Linguistic.Programming: Uses a set of models, skills and techniques for discovering how we each subjectively think and act and learning to do it in a more personally effective way. Symbolic modelling: By using Clean Language27 this form of coaching explores with the client the symbols and relationships between the patterns of their representation of reality and by continuous

27

Clean language: developed by David Grove has as aim to acknowledge and reflect the clients experience exactly as they describe it with no contamination from the coach.

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

15

questioning, discovers resource symbols they can use to transform their perception into a more empowering one. Positive psychology Coaching: Will help the client identify and cultivate their basic strengths and values so they can use these in their personal and professional lives, recognize and dispute limiting pessimistic thinking and help the client find flow and gratification. Psycho-cybernetics: Operates from the premise that our goal striving servo- mechanism works on the information and data we feed it so a coach will help the client find the real self and rehearse the role then relax and let the creative machinery run free. Behavioural Coaching: Uses a six step methodology to generate awareness of a need to change and builds motivation and commitment to the desired goals. Ontological Coaching Listening and making sense of what is being said is essential to the process to determine what sort of a life conversation you want to have and developing capacities to be a better observer and question our own ideas. Developmental Coaching By helping the client clear the obstructions that prevent them from achieving and developing all they can. The integrated model: Deals with raising awareness (becoming objective to something they were subject to) and taking responsibility. It helps the client get in touch with their authentic values, and from them define their life purpose and the goals needed to journey towards it examining any limiting beliefs. All Coaching methodologies have in common that they are outcome oriented rather than problem oriented with an emphasis on both the task and the relationship. They focus on the solution, promoting the development of new strategies for thinking and acting as opposed to trying to resolve problems and past conflicts.

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

16

I guess my personal Coaching approach could be defined as integrated as I strive to integrate the best of all the above-mentioned models. One tool I value in particular is the TGROW model I shall expand on it here as I present an example of how I work as coach: Coaching sample: In the initial meeting, the in-take session I would: Explain what Coaching is, how it works and provide a rapid overview of my background Ask the client to explain their needs, we would usually do a wheel of life exercise to determine where they stand today in the various areas of their life, and where they would like to start. During the whole session I aim to build a relationship, a climate of trust Establish ground rules (amount of sessions, length of sessions 30, 60, 90 minutes or whole days, confidentiality, boundaries, payment) Seek commitment from the client

Session One: Unless the client has a specific short term goal they want to work on, I would normally start with a value elicitation exercise where I will help my client identify the main roles in their life and their core values and, if seen as useful to them, assist in writing a personal mission statement to use as a guiding map in how they live their life. If not, we would go straight into the first area of concern as found in the wheel of life and identify specific goals within a timeframe. I would normally use the TGROW Model in this way: First a few greetings and housekeeping issues such as having pen and paper available and I will generally check which style of coaching best suits their actual mood (gentle or challenging).

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

17

Topic:

What would you like to focus on today? The client sets the agenda at each session. In most cases, I would benchmark their commitment and confidence in order to understand the territory, the scale and the importance to the client of the topic.

Goal:

Based on the topic, what specifically would you like to achieve by the end of this session? Identify and agree the desired outcome. Make it Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, determined by a Timeline. I will also seek their motivation.

Reality:

The coach needs to understand what is happening and by explaining the situation the magic arises when the client becomes aware and understands for himself. This is basically the fact-finding section, which would include questions such as: What is the present situation? What have you tried? What has stopped you? Who else was involved? When did you experience this? Where exactly? Which specifically? How much exactly?

Options

Letting the creative juices flow freely with no conscious judging or evaluating, brainstorming: What are your options? What if money / fear / age were not an issue, what would you do then? What have you seen others do?

Way Forward: The client will choose which options appeal the most and I will then nail them down:

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

18

Which option will you start with? When? Who needs to know? What support do you need? How will you let me know? To ensure commitment to letting me know the outcome at a specific time in whichever method of communication best suits them. If the topic is bench-markable I would check and see how their commitment and confidence have progressed during the session. This wrap up is crucial as it converts the discussion into a decision. This model is simple, practical, gives structure and clarity to the session and I have found it an invaluable tool in moving the client forward in an open, respectful and efficient way, as it grew out of best practice and not out of theory.28 I also include the T-Model approach29 where you expand the conversation before focussing on the details to make sure you get as much information as possible. The horizontal (expand) bar is driven by noticing questions and the vertical (focus) bar by interest. In the Subsequent sessions: I review the previous session and action points accomplished Move forward

I do a mid-programme review on how we are doing and if need be adjust our goals or methodology. There will then be a final review on completion of the Coaching relationship where the client not only assesses his accomplishments but also, very importantly, what he has learned and will be able to use to help himself in the future.

28 29

Effective coaching: Myles Downey Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

19

Coaching comes with a wide basket of tools and techniques to facilitate the client in his change process: anchoring, scrambling, understanding our sub-modalities, transformational vocabulary, SWISH to name only a few. It is important to note that each client and issue is unique. A good coach will be flexible in which approach is best suited to move that client forward in a way where the tool itself becomes invisible. Myles Downey cleverly said: There are no rules, but youve got to know them30. G COACHING SKILLS, QUALITIES AND MINDSET:

Many people would have the capacity to coach but it takes skills, a deep understanding of oneself and a mastery in certain areas to become a powerful coach. Here are some of the skills, qualities and mindsets essential to an excellent coach. In my mind skills are something you learn, qualities are more inherent but however need to be strengthened and deepened and mindset is the frame of mind from which a good coach will operate. The line between the three is fine and qualities can be acquired or unveiled or strengthened, some qualities can be skills. The list is not exhaustive but here are some of the most essential: SKILLS: Listening to understand: Our educational system teaches us to read and write and talk but very rarely are we taught to listen. To listen entirely to what the other person is saying, understanding from their point of view without evaluating and judging. In some instances the client will leave a session feeling relieved and less frustrated just because he has received genuine interest. It is less obvious than it seems. There are in effect three levels of listening: At level 1 we listen but are thinking of what it means to us and what we will answer which is normal listening.

30

Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

20

At level 2 we are starting to understand what the person is saying from his point of view. At level 3 we are on an intuitive level, fully receptive to not only the words but also the meaning of the whole message where we are aware of breathing patterns, body language when visual, and all the unspoken words between the lines. This is the level where powerful coaching occurs. It is always important to reflect back to check our understanding, to acknowledge, repeat, summarise and paraphrase. Questioning: As you will have noticed from my transcript of a Coaching session, Coaching is about questioning, raising awareness, and showing different perspectives. This questioning occurs from the coachs side from an attitude of curiosity and interest, for clarification and not knowing, then leaving room for the answer, with as much silence as necessary. These questions will be open, broadening the scope of the topic and the horizon of the understanding. They will probe deeper and deeper: what else? The most efficient are simple, short, powerful questions involving no judgement and without leading, descriptive rather than evaluative. Clean questions31 will always start with and and repeat verbatim the words of the client before asking more. In this way the client does not have to consciously check we have understood since we are using their own words, and can then stay in a deeper state to receive more unconscious data. Self effacement This is both a quality and a skill as this state of internal stillness of not knowing can be acquired. The coachs primary function is not to solve, heal, fix but to understand () if you (the coach) hear yourself giving instructions, chance is you have lost your way.32 I always take time before a session after having thoroughly read the clients file, to meditate, wipe my slate clean of all my personal thoughts and emotions and prepare myself to fully welcome my client

31 32

Metaphors in mind: J Lawley & P. Tompkins (on Clean Language: David Grove) Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

21

with respect, optimism, energy and care. Considerations such as differences in opinion and gender related distortions also get reduced in this way. In NLP it is managing your own state and being aware of the ideal Coaching state which is non-judgemental and non-directional. I personally found this one of the most difficult skills to acquire at first, coming from a genuine desire to help. But whatever experience or ideas we have as coach, they will never be as suited to the client as their own ideas, relating to their issue, they have ownership, will sustain them and be able to use what they have learnt again. Structure

A good coach will need to master a structured, focussed, goal orientated approach, holding the clients agenda in trust yet leaving room for the client to dance in the moment33 and make connections with other issues or occurrences. This is quite a skill, especially if you are doing a 30-minute session. Rapport:

Though rapport, that feeling of bonding, of understanding, of being on the same wave lengths may be something you feel naturally or not, it is in effect a skill you can cultivate by matching, mirroring, identifying your clients sub-modalities and reflecting them back in a natural fashion. Observation of patterns

As a coach you need to be able to make connections between the patterns you observe in the clients thinking or behaviour. You need to be able to observe and identify strengths in one area, which could be used in others. The aim being to get the client to think differently or even just to accept that it can be different. Feedback

33

Co-active coaching: Laura Whitworth

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

22

Providing descriptive, constructive feedback is essential. Our body mind is a cybernetic system and requires feedback from its environment to function properly.34 It is finding the balance between being the clients champion but also his challenger. And being open as coach for constructive feedback from client. Development stage and credibility:

It is also necessary as a coach to know where you are personally in your development stage. This does not mean having the answers and imposing them on the client but a coach cannot make a client free of anything that enslaves the coach themselves35. This skill goes hand in hand with: Sharpening the saw

Which is an expression used by coach S. Covey to indicate the need for the coach to keep moving up the spiral of growth and renewal in the spirit of continuous improvement. I have included this in the skills as it is something that needs to be learnt and applied rigorously.

QUALITIES: Caring Coaching must be learnt mostly from experience. In the inner game approach Coaching can be defined as the facilitation of mobility. It is the art of creating an environment, through conversation and a way of being that facilitates the process by which a person can move towards desired goals in a fulfilling manner. It requires one essential ingredient that cannot be taught: caring, not only for the external result but for the person being coached.36 Effective Coaching is empathetic but does not hide from reality, rather it raises awareness of it and leaves the responsibility with the client37. You need to genuinely care.
34 35

Effective coaching: Myles Downey How coaching works: Joseph OConnor and Andrea Lages 36 Tim Gallway: The Inner game 37 Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

23

Respect

The coach needs to respect the client, his opinions and ways of thinking but also respect the fact he is resourceful and will find his own solution. In Coaching, the coach and coachee are equal partners; the coach is not the rescuer. Intuition Is primordial to a truly effective Coaching session. If you are focused and interested, your natural ability to coach will provide the appropriate question38. This insight will help you guide the client to the next level. Sincere The coach keeps promises, is genuine and sincere and also acknowledges if he is out of depth and assists the client in finding alternative therapy. Reliable Does not provide false expectations but delivers what is agreed. Is constant and dependable. Trust The client must be able to trust the coach, knowing his confidentiality will not be betrayed but also trust that the coach will listen with respect and understanding to whatever the client needs to disclose. Discretion This ties into trust. The client needs to rely on the coachs discretion regarding any private information or even the fact he is a client. Committed and supportive To helping the client move forward by being a support and a champion, believing in the client before he does himself, but also to be challenging at times and support the client out of his comfort zone. Optimistic Honest Believe the client can and will change. If the coach is honest, the client will be honest too and the relationship will move forward more efficiently.
38

Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

24

Good role model Transparency

A good coach walks the talk too. All cards should be on he table to cultivate an atmosphere of trust. A coach must question his intent at each question: will it raise awareness? Will it leave responsibility and choice with the client? Is the relation strong enough? Patience The patience to let the client find his own solution. Specialist knowledge is not necessary since the coachs solution was in the past and the client is in the present. A client would not come to Coaching if he already knew he knew the solution. Detached The coach needs to be sufficiently detached from the issue and the client to get a realistic view of the situation, to stay clear of his own interference and help the client get that same detachment in order to look at things clearly and not be so submerged that he has no view of the whole. It is again a matter of balance between being professional and caring yet emotionally distant.

MINDSET; For me a mindset is the larger frame of mind within which these qualities and skills can operate: All people have within them a huge potential We each have a unique view of reality People are fundamentally good We are each responsible for the results we get in life

All that and so much more from the coachs side knowing that it will only work if the client is committed to change, they are the motor, they take the action.

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

25

WHAT COACHING IS NOT? Since the boundaries to Coaching are still so vaguely defined there is a lot of

confusion about what Coaching is. Coaching is so much it is hard to define in an exhaustive way, however some things it definitely is not: Coaching is not Consulting: In business consulting, the consultant deals with the business system as a whole. He uses his knowledge to give a diagnosis and recommend a course of action. The client can agree or disagree but will not be generating the solution himself whereas in Coaching the client whose awareness is raised, will come up with his own sustainable solution. Coaching is efficient as a support and followup to training, applying the recommendation to the clients situation. Coaching is not Mentoring: The assumption in mentoring is that the mentor comes with superior knowledge and experience, which he then transfers to the client. A mentor would usually set the agenda. In Coaching the client and coach are equal partners. Coaching is not Therapy: This is a very important distinction. Coaching is about mental development and not mental health. Therapy is remedial based on the past. Coaching deals mostly with exploring the present and designing the future39. Coaching focuses on future possibilities, not past mistakes.40Carol Kauffmann (Founder of Coaching Psychology Institute):In contrast to clinical therapy, Coaching involves following the trail of dreams and co-creating a journey towards optimal life satisfaction and performance. Healing often occurs along the way but its a side effect of discovering strengths, feeling more joy and falling back in love with ones work, ones life and ones self.

39 40

How coaching works: Joseph OConnor and Andrea Lages Coaching for performance: John Whitmore

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

26

Coaching is not Counselling As John Whitmore says: Coaching is proactive, counselling reactive.41 Counselling examines past experience and aims to explain and justify them. Coaching is about the present and the future, accepting we are who we are, shaped by our past history and deciding what we want now. The emphasis is on action and not just coping.

It is ESSENTIAL to note here that some clients may have suffered severe traumas, which prevent them from operating normally. Coaching is for people who are performing normally and want to do better. A client who is not performing will first need to be treated by a psychologist or analyst to bring him to the normal level. It is CRUCIAL for a coach to recognise when a client may be in real need of psychological help and refer them to a professional in a caring and respectful way.

AREAS TO ADDRESS Measurement

Coaching is based on a result- orientated approach, so how do you measure the benefits of Coaching? In life Coaching it can be the level of client satisfaction on the issue based on subjective internal evaluation (questionnaire, happy sheets or benchmarking). It can be through changes in knowledge and skill from learning (tests). It can be through the changes in individual behaviour, as actions from learning (observation / tests). For business Coaching: it can be measured by changes in company culture and morale and increased efficient and effective functioning (return on investment or return on expectations).

41

Coaching for performance: John Whitmore

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

27

Coaching is an indirect profession where a coachs effectiveness is measured by the success of the person being coached42. Results need to be measured in many different ways to get a complete picture and remain an area of concern in Coaching. For example how long afterwards should one measure? The more a client internalises what he has learnt and uses it on different issues, the larger the success of the Coaching. Ethics Good ethics are essential. The higher the standards, the better the reflection on the coaching profession as a whole. Items such as transparency and clarity upfront concerning issues like: boundaries, confidentiality and disclosure, a clear agreement or contract laying down conditions and payment. Also honesty concerning the coachs expertise and experience and the reality of the promised outcomes; integrity, accountability, professionalism (such as acknowledging when not in a state to coach). - Accreditation and regulations Sadly government bodies have not found it as yet necessary to provide a regulatory standard for life Coaching and anyone is entitled to call himself a coach. However, there are a number of internationally recognised entities such as the European Coaching Institute and the International Coach Federation that provide recognised accreditation based on a thorough training program and a minimum amount of Coaching experience. Cultural differences Personally I operate in an expatriate environment where it is crucial to be aware of, and sensitive to, cultural differences, in terms of methodology to be used, rapport, values and morals, ways of thinking and expectations. The honour, dignity and integrity of the client need to be respected at all times. Coaching method: Which can be face to face, by telephone (Skype enables quality telephone sessions free of charge all over the world). In some cases it is also possible to do Coaching by email or chat.
42

Effective coaching: Myles Downey

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

28

Initially I was adverse to telephone Coaching, finding it too impersonal. However, with experience I have come to realise some clients feel more at ease over the phone to voice issues they havent said aloud before, and it guarantees more anonymity when working in a small community. An experienced coach will pick up a wealth of meaning through the choice of words, the tone, the pitch, the breathing and all in between making very powerful sessions, untainted by possible preconceptions due to appearance. Life Coaching is usually one to one, but Coaching can also take place in couples, families, teams, and communities. Etc Coach supervision and own level of development It is essential for the coach to be aware of his own level of development, to constantly strive to develop further by continuing to take courses, read books, stay up to date with developments in the profession and have contact with other members of the profession through for example Coaching circles.

CONCLUSION

Coaching is frequently referred to both as an art, because when practiced with excellence, there is no attention on the technique and it requires high levels of inner awareness and outer commitment; but also as the science of understanding the human mind. Coaching arose to fulfil societys needs, and needs there are. In the West nowadays we are twice as rich as 40 years ago but 10 times more likely to be depressed. Our basic needs are fulfilled and we now have to look for our purpose. Coaching is a meme but all signs point out that it is not dying yet! On the contrary, Coaching is becoming so common and integrating so many areas of society that it is becoming intrinsic. Coaching as a practice is now here to stay though the word itself might disappear as its associated values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviours, become the norm for everyone43 For Sir John Whitmore: Coaching is the first and only profession that fully embodies the principles by which we will all live in the future leaders must not only be clever but conscious, maybe one of the reasons for President Obamas tremendous appeal.
43

Coaching for performance: John Whitmore

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

29

I believe in our technological society, Coaching responds to a profound need for people to be listened to, to be stretched and shown other ways of viewing situations, of being made aware of who they are and how they fit in to the whole, of being made responsible for taking their own lives in hand and finding inner happiness and balance to be able to reach out to others. Some say, but cant they do that on their own? Yes they probably could but very often dont, whether from lack of distance or space for reflection, time or whatever other reason. Sometimes all we need is a little safe haven to explore, together with a professional armed with skills, qualities and a positive mindset, in order to re-situate ourselves before moving with focus and motivation along our path again. My aim in this thesis was to more clearly define: what Coaching is, where and why it arose, who it is for, what it does, how it works, what some of the most important skills and qualities are, the mindset needed by the coach, what Coaching is not and refer to some of the ethical issues as well as tools for measurement From my point of view the mission is accomplished and my understanding of what Coaching is greatly improved, enabling me to pursue my crusade with also facts, not only helping my individual clients be their personal best but by empowering them inspiring those around them too and playing my small part in helping Coaching reach out to society as a whole. We all strive for happiness; Coaching responds to societys need to find a meaning and purpose for our existence, to move forward to becoming our personal best in whichever area is frustrating us, we all have our individual paths, which if based on principles and values, lead to the general well being of the whole. Coaching is the single most powerful process ever devised for releasing individual human potential: dixit The London School of Business.

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

30

BIBLIOGRAPHY Direct reference has been made to the following books: Joseph OConnor and Andrea Lages, How coaching works, A & C Black (ISBN: 9-780-7136-8261-8) Myles Downey, Effective coaching, Cengage learning (ISBN: 13-978-1-58799-172-1) John Whitmore, Coaching for performance, Nicholas Brealy publishing (ISBN: 10- 1-85788-303-9) Stephen Covey, First things first, Simon and Schuster (ISBN:0-684-85840-1) Stephen Covey, The 7 habits of highly effective people, Free Press (ISBN:-13: 978-0-7432-6951-3) Curly Martin, The Life Coaching Handbook, Crown House Publishing Ltd (ISBN: 9781899836710) Anthony Robbins, Awaken the giant within, Simon & Schuster (ISBN:0-671-79154-0) Stephen Lundin, Harry Paul, John Christensen, Fish Omnibus, Hodder Mobius (ISBN: 978-0-340-92458-7) Viktor Frankl, Mans search for meaning, Beacon Press Boston (ISBN: 978-0-8070-1429-5) Fiona Harrold, Be your own life coach, Coronet books (ISBN: 978-0-340-77064-1)

The following books have contributed to my understanding of the topic: James Lawley & Penny Tompkins, Metaphors in mind, the Developing Company (ISBN:0-9538751-0-5) Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-cybernetics, Pocket books (ISBN: 13 978-0-671-70075-1)

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

31

Sabine Asgodom, Die Frau die ihr Gehalt mal eben verdoppelt hat, Kosel (ISBN: 978-3-466-30788-3) Richard Bandler, Using your brain for a change, Real People press (ISBN:0-91126-2605) Hyrum W. Smith, What matters most, Simon & Schuster (ISBN: 0 7435 1007-0) Spencer Johnson, Who moved my cheese? , Vermilion (ISBN 9780091816971) Joseph OConnor and John Seymour, Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Mandala (ISBN 1 85274 073 6) Laura Whitworth, Karen & Henry Kimsey-house, Phillip Sandahl, Co-active coaching, Davies Black Publishing (ISBN: -13: 978-0-89106-198-4) David Miskimin and Jack Stewart, The coaching parent, Bookshaker.com (ISBN: 1-905430-09-4) Eckhart Tolle, The power of now, Namaste publishing (ISBN 1-57731-480-8) Rhonda Byrne, The Secret, Simon & Schuster (ISBN: -13: 978-1-84737-029-7)

Thesis: A definition of coaching by Julie Kennedy

32

Anda mungkin juga menyukai