The Cask of Amontialldo

The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could [bear it]; but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You [subject of will not suppose], who [subject of know] so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. At length I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled but the very definitiveness [subject of precluded] with which it was resolved, precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but [I must] punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.

Oconomowoc
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, Before we order, could you [subject of could settle] please settle an argument for us? Would you [subject of would pronounce] please pronounce where we are? Very slowly? The counter helper leaned over the counter and [he] said, Burr gerrr Kiing.