Volume 1, Issue 2

November 13, 2011

Team True Beauty

N O V E M B E R I S S U E

L e t t e r f r o m t h e p r e s i d e n t : B r i t t a n y M i l l e r

Hey beautiful people! Its November and I can barely believe that it is almost the end of 2011, it seriously feels like it was just January yesterday! Where has the time gone? As we have some major holidays over these next two months, I want each of you to remember that no matter what, you are beautiful, and you are loved. Spend these holidays focused on all of the good in your life, whether thats your family, your friends, your job, your education, your health, your freedom, whatever it is. I want each of you to count your blessings and all of the good things in your life, whether they are the little everyday blessings of just waking up in the morning to the big ones such as getting a job. I want each of us to remember that it is about our character and the type of person we are that make each of us beautiful. It is our attitude, our character, and how we make other people feel that truly matters. It is those things and the things we do for other people, whether it is a family member, close friend, or a stranger you come across in your daily life that truly matter. It is difficult for people to truly understand the affect one has on the people in their lives, but I have heard it said that it is all the small things that matter, and I choose to believe that. I can tell you from personal experience that those are the things that people will remember and that will remain with them. So this holiday season take the time to let your true inner beauty shine, and do something nice for someone else, to be there for a friend, because you never know the effect it may have on a persons life, or even your own. xoxo B

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Pg 2: Celebrity Corner: Daphne Zuniga, TTB Spokeswoman, Actress, and Activist Pg,. 3: Words from VP: Meriam Bouarrouj Pg 4: Beautys Bachelor: Richard Martinez Pg 5: Ambassador's Corner: Advice from True Beauty Celebrity Ambassador Shantel VanSanten Pg 6: Holiday Help Panel: Megan Nelson Pg 7: Need a Read?: Kristen Abel, Art by Brooke Toffolon Pg 8: VIP Contest Essays 1 & 2 Pg 9: VIP Contest Essay 3 & 4 Pg 10: This Months Agenda: Michelle Gray

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak. Sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. -Unknown

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C e l e b r i t y C o r n e r : d a p h n e z u n i g a Last night I participated in a radio show with a co-star of One Tree Hill, Shantel VanSanten. It was set up by Meriam Bouarrouj of Team True Beauty and we took callers questions for one hour. Shantel and I really enjoyed hearing from fans and answering their questions. We both know that just because our job means being in the public eye, we still are real people, making our way as women in the world, developing a stronger sense of self. I believe this is what life is for; knowing yourself more and more, learning to love what you find, and expressing it in the world. One of the best lessons I have learned is this: we are not perfect and we are not meant to be some idea we have of perfection. We are human, life is messy, and we are here to do our best in being good to ourselves and express what comes from that. When we treat ourselves with respect and love, instead of criticism, we automatically like others more and treat them with compassion. To get to the root of our beliefs is very important. Why is it that you judge yourself so much? Why does one girl think shes not smart, or not beautiful, or not enough? For years I tried to be perfect in my relationships and in my career. A big fear I had (from my parents divorce, and a childhood of moving from place to place) was of letting people down. I was afraid when they found out the real me theyd be disappointed and leave. Deep down inside when I was a little girl cial physical beauty and get on with things! The world needs our ideas, creativity, brain power, energy and passion, insight, capacity for team work, and solutions for the many problems in our world. One more thought on the holidays coming up: The holidays can be a charged and scary time. There is so much pressure to be happy with family and it I felt my parents divorced because I doesnt necessarily allow for whatwasnt good enough. If I were bet- ever is really going on inside us. ter in some way, they wouldve When we ignore what is going on stayed together. This belief led me emotionally, we may turn to food into relationships in which I would for comfort. Here are a couple only want my boyfriend to see a things you can do to not abandon more perfect version of me. Of yourself during these times: course I saw his flaws, and thered be plenty of em, but I let him have You can always leave a situation them, and continued to be only hard and go take some deep breaths. If on myself. This also was true as my feelings inside are making you eat career took off and I was on camera out of anxiety, you can step away, more and more. I want everyone to take some deep breaths and ask approve, my god if they knew who I yourself what you are really feeling. really was theyd take off! Then meet your emotional need in I finally chose to learn to be happy self-supportive ways: with me, all of who I am. 1) Call a friend and tell her/him what is going on for you. When I sat and faced the negative 2) Write your feelings down, ideas about myself Id developed whether you are afraid or angry or over my life, I felt how much it was lonely or whatever you are feeling. hurting me! But a beautiful compas- Getting it on paper, and out of you sion for myself came out of it. It has is very helpful in becoming been over time that I am more acgrounded again. cepting of exactly who I am. 3) Bring a book that inspires, reminds, grounds you. Now, I really wish girls and women 4) Tell yourself positive affirmaeverywhere will find their own total tions that remind you that you are self-acceptance and feel the emloved and not alone (as Shantel so powerment that comes from it. We wisely suggests). are in a time that NEEDS women to reject the crazy pressure of superfi-

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you." - James Allen

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W o r d s f r o m t h e V P : M e r i a m B o u a r r o u j the time. Confusion, fear, pain; all of those words have their antonyms and over time they reach us. While we take away amazing memories from the happiest times of our lives, we also take away valuable lessons from the most difficult times. We smile from the good and we learn and grow from the pain. And we can take those joyful memories and those lessons learned from our struggles and allow that to give us what we need to move forward in our lives. Something good can always come out of something bad if you allow yourself to choose how you want to react to it and not let it react for you and determine your life. Think about all the charities, organizations and movements that were started by people because they were able to connect on a personal level to the cause. Unfortunate situations can lead us to live our lives in a way that will positively impact others and that's the most fulfilling thing. During the tough times the hope and cure is in caring about other people. I'm only 26 so I obviously don't have or assume to have all the answers or a grand perspective on life. But I've had my challenges and have learned from them and still am learning. And I anticipate there will be more challenges for me to face in the future. Life is full of them.

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Live your life with a dedicated purpose. Do something you love and that you're passionate about. Life is too short not to. And make sure you help other people along the way as well. Life is too short to not do that either. Everyone has a special light and the ability to shine it on the world! Even if you're going through something difficult and struggling to see it right now, it's there and will eventually resurface even brighter. There's a quote by Leonard Cohen that pertains to this: In the broken places the light shines through. I believe we learn from every experience we go through, and sometimes (or a lot of times) I think more from the negative than the positive. It's like life's way of helping us to make some sense of the bad things that happen to us. Not that the sense justifies it, but that it doesn't allow us to be swallowed up by whatever dark cloud has been cast over us at

And that's okay because how else will we continue to grow into the people we are meant to be? It's almost like college. The classes that always seemed the most challenging to me that first week were always the ones I learned the most from at the end of the year. Our experiences and our challenges make us who we are. The people who inspire us, love us and hurt us all contribute to who we become and to the heart we reflect on to others. So this is what I say: if your heart needs healing, don't isolate yourself, try to heal someone else's too. After all a broken heart can never stay broken for too long when it's opened for someone else. And if you've been inspired and loved, spread that inspiration and love onto others. It's bound to make a difference. And that leads me to my final thought: know that there is no such thing as too much kindness. You never know how much one kind word or gesture can impact someone's day. No matter how busy we all are there's always a second to show our true beauty. Use your heart until it stops beating! The best thing you can do is be a blessing to somebody! Meriam

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Timo Cruz (Rick Gonzalez) Coach Carter

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Sing it with me Its the most wonderful timeeeeee of the year Or is it? Halloween ushers in the holiday season and it is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Most get a little more bounce to the step and a little more cheer in the voice. But for some, the holiday season starts off a very trying time that turns into the most not so wonderful time of the year.

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ok, to be that kid. Family and friends were always making sweet treats and demanding that I eat them because it was the holidays. Yet they would make fun of how fat I was? I did not understand it. Thanksgiving was the ultimate moment for all of this. So much food of all kinds and a lot of family members there piling it on my plate then talking about how fat I was under their breath. I could not make heads or tails of it. It got Many of us have issues of some to the point where I would fake bekind with food. As you notice I said ing sick so I could skip the meal us. I am someone who has a then I would sneak food into my love/hate relationship with food room so I could eat without ridiand this time of year is really tough cule. due to all the holiday treats and that big Thanksgiving Day dinner Going through something like this that looms in the distance. So I can burns a certain way of thinkam going to speak to you as some- ing about yourself that is hard to one who has experience with this get past. I learned how to hate myissue because I have lived with it self and I learned that I had no my whole life as well. For most, value. Growing up being the food issues start when we are funny fat kid damaged my self young. There are usually points esteem and self value. The holiday you can look back to that will indi- season was no help with this way cate when that started. I grew up of thinking. It was the not so wonas the fat kid. I heard that word derful time of the year for me. to describe me in every aspect of my life like my home, my school I wish I could tell you that there is and on the playground. It was a a magic pill or instant cure to get word I got use to hearing. I did not over this way of thinking. There is know what it meant to be fat. I not. But how did I get over it? Well did not see that when I looked in a to be honest, I did not get over it, I mirror and I did not see it on my got past it. It took my sixth grade plate because I ate the same reading teacher, Mrs. Garrett, sayamount as my brother and friends ing you know what? You have and they were skinny. value. It may be hard for you to understand this right now but you Looking back on it now that I am do have value. I hope you will see older I can see the harm that was that one day. At the time I done when I was so much younger. laughed in her face because it was Harm to how I saw myself and how the furthest thing from my belief others saw me. There was a point system. Shortly after I left middle where I embraced it. I embraced school Mrs. Garrett passed away being the fat kid. The other part from cancer. I started to rememof this story is that I was the funny ber over and over what she said to kid too. So it was ok to be the me. I remember how much she acfunny fat guy right? Everybody tually believed it. As I got older I likes that guy. There was a lot of started to appreciate what she said embracing for me back then and and I started to appreciate myself what I really embraced was food. as well. I started to believe that The holiday season seemed to be there was value looking back at me the time where it was ok, but not in that mirror. It was hard to

do. It was through a lot of tears. You know those eye burning and bitter tasting tears. Those that come from so deep down inside you that they are filled with pain and self pity and self hatred, not the sad movie watching tears. I am talking about those that needed to be cried out a long time ago but the ego would not allow. For me now the holiday season is a joy. There are trade offs now. If there are holiday treats around I will still have some but I will walk an extra 10 minutes on the treadmill the next day to make up for it. When turkey day comes around I will still eat a nice meal but I will be reasonable on the portion sizes. I want the season to be about giving thanks for what I have and who I am. I still look in the mirror every single day and remind myself that I have worth and I have value. Food does not control me, I control it. Someones perception of me has nothing to do with my perception of me. I will always be the funny fat kid but now I am fat in worth and value and I am pretty darn funny too! Everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Be thankful for YOU! You have worth and you have value. Richard Martinez Feel free to contact me with any questions or comments at richard@teamtruebeauty.com

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. -Confucius

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A m b a s s a d o r ' s C o r n e r : A d v i c e f r o m T r u e B e a u t y C e l e b r i t y A m b a s s a d o r S h a n t e l V a n S a n t e n

Hi, I'm very worried about Christmas as I have to spend the day with all the adults in my family, and I will be the only 'kid' there. I always feel like I'm going to be judged for all my mistakes. I always feel like I'm letting my family down, and it will be so much worse when EVERYBODY is in one room together. But there's no way I can get out of it but I'm so nervous. Thanks, Rachael xxx

Hi ! My name is Clara N'Diaye and I'm 15 , I'm French so i do a lot of mistakes but I try to improve my English ! First of all, I wanted to thank you because what you do is amazing! Well, I have a question for the person who inspire me the most in my life : Shantel Van Santen : how would you do if you had a dream and your family did not believe in you ?and some people make fun of your dream? That's what I live right now and that's very hard! I feel alone ... THANK YOU SO MUCH ! Clara, First of all, Its ambitious and admirable to be learning a second language... I am jealous and proud of you! (its quite the accomplishment) Now on to your question.. I know its hard to not feel supported by your family; maybe you could reach out to a friend or find a good support system. More importantly, its time to believe in your self because only YOU can make your dreams come true. Know your strength and be proud that you accomplish things against the odds! Have faith in yourself and trust that the life you are destined for will be amazing and probably more than you could have EVER dreamed of! MOST OF ALL... You are NOT alone. We all feel this way, if it wasnt a struggle the reward wouldnt be as gratifying! Now go believe in yourself EVERY day because I believe in YOU! Xo Shantel

Rachael.. Im so grateful to be answering this because that was ME at holiday gatherings. All my cousins were either adults or babies, NO one was ever my age; so I know exactly how you feel. First of all, if you are younger and the best part is you are allowed to make mistakes (we all are). In fact as hard as it is to make mistakes, we learn the MOST from them. Families can be judgmental, I understand, but know that it comes from a place of LOVE. They want the best for your life and are trying to help guide you! Think of it as loving advice not judgmental criticism! I think the thing to do is to be proud of where you are in your life RIGHT now, the accomplishments you have made and the woman you are becoming! Let the light shine from you heart ... Remember the holidays are a celebration of love; BE THE DEFINITION OF LOVE TO THOSE AROUND YOU! Hope this helps! Xo Shantel

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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When we're younger we always say "Sticks and Stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me." What a cute but totally inaccurate saying. Sticks and stones could break your bones, but words will slice right through you. Words do hurt, and they leave lasting impressions. It's hard to hear people calling you "fat" or "ugly" or any other sort of degrading term, but its even harder when those people are your family. And it's so much harder when you are forced to spend the time with them during the holidays. The Holidays should be a time for happiness and joy. Spending time with your family and enjoying the things that you have been blessed with, not worrying which family member is going to say the next insulting comment toward you. I don't talk out much about my story, but I understand the pain. My grandmother told me I wasn't pretty like my sister, that I was just cute. This was over six years ago, and it still stings to think about it. I've had family members tell me I could "stand to lose some weight" and while it may be true, it still hurts. I've even had my family members shush me in the middle of a story because I was talking "too much" or "too loudly." And I've had my parents say extremely hurtful things (that I won't repeat here) in the heat of an argument that damaged my will to continue for days. I understand the tension, I understand the pain, we all have our "survival" stories to share. Your family should feel like a safe zone, but instead you sometimes feel like you are moving to the front lines of battle. I can't emphasize this enough...YOU are NOT alone! Just recently, Daphne Zuniga, one of our Team True Beauty Spokespeople, came up with an amazing idea. Since the holidays are such a time for mixed emotions and can bring up some stinging memories, what if we answered questions from our supporters and give them advice about how to still feel beautiful and to overcome some of those feelings during this holiday season? An idea was born, and it turned into "TTB's Holiday Help" We have a panel of some amazing Team True Beauty Spokespeople ready to answer YOUR questions and concerns about the holidays and give you some advice on how to not let your inner beauty fade.

Welcome our Panel: Daphne Zuniga: Actress & Activist. Most famous for her role as Jo on Melrose Place & Victoria Davis on One Tree Hill. Daphne has been a proud spokeswoman for Team True Beauty since we launched and is very passionate about helping young women stand up for what they believe in and feel beautful and confident just the way they are. Shantel VanSanten: Actress & True Beauty Ambassador. Known for her role as Quinn James on One Tree Hill. Shantel shared her story with TTB's Meriam and has touched many lives through her strength and inspiring advice. She continues to spread TTB's messages via Twitter always telling girls their voices matter and that they are 'beautiful, capable and loved'. Richard Martinez: Author: He's written TWO books available on Amazon and is a proud advocate of Team True Beauty and speaks out in his tweets regularly about how to feel special and wonderful. Emily Grace: Singer: Former member of the Ballas Hough Band and background for Demi and the Jonas Brothers. She has a heart for Team True Beauty and a heart for YOU! Dallas Lovato: Singer/Actress: Appeared on MANY Disney Channel shows, Speaks with such passion for helping young women (and men) realize their worth and their beauty. Mykell: Singer: Just had his first CD drop on iTunes! The first celebrity to join Team True Beauty, and is willing to do whatever he can to make sure the message gets across that you are worthwhile. Josie Loren: Actress: Famous for being Kaylie Cruz on Make It or Break It. Her character struggles with an eating disorder and she's a gymnast. Josie is so happy to be a part of the panel and lend her advice. Amy Paffrath: Actress/Comedian/Host: Famous for being the host of Jersey Shore After Hours and MSN's Last Night on TV. Amy loves Team True Beauty and is excited to be able to help you feel your worth this holiday season. Make sure to send in your questions and concerns about the holidays to teamtruebeauty@gmail.comand we'll send them to our panel, who is ready to do whatever they can to help you radiate your beauty and feel your worth this holiday season!

Article by: Megan Nelson

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. -Norman MacEwan

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Ever feel down? Like no matter how hard you try, its not enough or that there are too many obstacles standing in between you and your goal, your dreams? We all do. Rich, poor, thin, overweight, famous, average we all struggle with the day-to-day trials and tribulations of wanting to be more, do more, have more. Sometimes, we have to step outside of who we are and whatever situation were dealing with and look at the bigger picture. Sometimes, we need to take a walk or a read in someone elses proverbial shoes. The author of this months book recommendation has some rather large shoes for us to fill metaphorically speaking, anyways. The synopsis for Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist by Michael J. Fox is as follows: Always Looking Up is a memoir of this last decade, told through the critical themes of Michaels life: work, politics, faith and family. The book is a journey of self-discovery and reinvention, and a testament to the consolations that protect him from the ravages of Parkinsons. With the humor and wit that captivated fans of his first book, Lucky Man, Michael describes how he became a happier, more satisfied person by recognizing the gifts of everyday. I own this book, Ive read it cover to cover more times than I can remember; its pages are lovingly worn, my notes are crammed into every available margin space. Its an incredible book, written by an incredible man (and Im not just saying that because I was mad crushed out on Alex P. Keaton back in the day) about an amazing life that he lives day to day. He has his struggles more struggles than some but he faces them with such bravery, strength and happiness. I would recommend this book to the happiest of people and the saddest; it is guaranteed to reenergize your soul and bring a warmth and newfound happiness to your heart. As always, in the words of the great Levar Burton, you dont have to take my word for it. Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist by Michael J. Fox is available wherever books are sold. Happy reading, Kristen

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. Its the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion she shows, and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years. Audrey Hepburn

Life isnt about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. -George Bernard Shaw

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I think it is important to have an organization such as this because there needs to be more awareness about these issues that people have with themselves. I, myself, being included in this group of people. My first year of college, I was diagnosed with anorexia. I was at a point in my life where I did not want to be where I was, I did not want to be doing what I was doing, and I struggled with feeling 'not good enough', 'not beautiful enough' and 'not perfect enough.' Therefore, I ate three carrots a day, nothing else, to feel a sense of control in my life since I could not control anything else around me. I struggled daily in every aspect of my life and this disorder took a toll on my physically and mentally. My first year of college included me attending various sessions with a doctor, therapist, nutritionist and psychologist at a hospital every Friday afternoon. This took a toll on my social life, I lost friends that I had made in my first year of college, and I did poorer in school because of my struggle with my eating disorder. Not only did I struggle externally, but internally as well. Today, I have recovered from my eating disorder. I graduated from a different college with two degrees in Journalism and Political Science, have an incredible fianc and a supportive and loving extended family. But it was not an easy battle to pass this disorder. I sometimes fear that I will relapse, but I make good choices and find inspiration through quotes, music, books and hobbies. I also find the celebrities involved within this charity inspiring. Not only am I a fan of Shantel VanSanten, Lisa Goldstein and Daphne Zuniga as actresses, but I find these women to be truly beautiful and inspirational and I am grateful that they stand for a cause that I would love to be more involved in. It would be wonderful to attend this event because I could become more involved in a cause that truly DID impact me in my life. No one should have to struggle or feel alone in their fight against an eating disorder or inner beauty issues! These are important issues that affect many people who feel not good enough or not beautiful enough. Personally, I would be honored to be a part of this organization so I could feel as though I am making a difference and helping people who are struggling with the same issues that I struggled with. At times, it has been rough for me to find who I truly am and I have struggled with inner beauty issues along with my eating disorder. For me, this may have stemmed from being raised by a single mother and never knowing my father, not having any siblings and not having many friends that I can turn to in a time of desperate need. It was a battle of fearing rejection, hate, pain and betrayal. The issue of inner beauty has effected many aspects of my life for a long time, and I still struggle sometimes with it, but it has gotten better. While I do not feel bad for myself for having these issues, I am thankful that I have recovered and all of these things have made me into the person that I am today. I would love to be considered by you to attend this event; I feel that it is an important organization that I would love to be actively involved in and I would be honored to attend. Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

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First off, I like to ramble, especially when I'm devoted to something like Team True Beauty. TTB means so much to me, it truly does. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin. I always feel "awkward", like I'm not pretty enough, or smart enough. I have plenty of good friends but when it comes to people who I don't know or who don't know me, I'm shy or not myself at all. I've never felt pretty, I've never felt like I've been a good student. Then, one day I was on Twitter, and I hear about "Team True Beauty". The name immediately sparked my interest. I read what it was all about, and I started to cry, because it meant so much to me and it was such a fantastic organization. I know/knew there were other people like me out there, and I knew that TTB would be sending the exact same emotions to them, too. I'm not lying when I say that Team True Beauty makes me feel beautiful. It makes me feel worthy, something that's new to me, and something I've never felt before. I love it. I'm embracing it with open arms. I don't even know if I can express how much Team True Beauty means to me besides "a lot". It's made me realize how unimportant looks are when it comes to TRUE beauty. I'm always reciting, "Beauty is the size of your heart, not your waistline." and it always makes me comfortable. I was always so obsessed with looking bad. I mean I worried about it. I'm not somebody who coats her face with makeup, never have been. But it didn't change the fact that I felt self conscious going to school in my comfy clothes, sweats, uggs, tshirt, hair pulled up . Now, I walk into those doors, and I flaunt it, because it doesn't matter. It doesn't change who I am as a person. And I have TTB to thank for that. Obviously, I would love to attend this event. It would mean so much to me to be able to meet all the supporters, and thank them from the bottom of my heart for inspiring me and keeping me going everyday. I'll have to remember tissues and waterproof mascara, because I can guarantee there will be tears from my end. I want them to know, or hear from me in person, how much they've changed my perspective of myself, in such a positive way. How much they have helped me through these tough times of feeling insecure and unworthy. There are so many things I want to be able to say to them face to face, so many thank yous for so many different things. Team True Beauty just means so much to me, I wonder how many times I've said that, but I don't care because it does. And I'm so happy that there are other people who are most likely feeling the exact same way, because nobody should be convinced into thinking that beauty IS the size of your waistline, or the amount of makeup you wear. It's all in your heart, and the way you treat people as well as yourself. It would mean so much to attend this event. But I feel like I have that message across. :)

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The opportunity to be a VIP at this event would be a dream come true. Like so many others, I admire all those who are coming together to be involved in this organization and this event. I cant express in words how thrilled I would be thrilled to enjoy the VIP perks. I would enjoy early entrance to meet some of my favorite celebrities and the chance to stay late. I am in major need of a vacation. I have been working my butt off, working 9-10 hours day for free. Okay, so maybe, I am getting credit for school necessary to graduate however, this would have been much easier had I gone this route to pursue a career in education the first time during my undergrad years. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I am completing a semester of student teaching and one last class to graduate with a Masters degree in Elementary Education next month. I bought tickets and I am looking forward to this trip because it has been a while since my sister and I have been able to get away. She is my best friend and always has my back. She has been unbelievable this semester, making my lunch for me, doing the grocery shopping, buying all most of out meals out (since she has a paying job) because I have been so busy and exhausted. I dont know what I wouldve done without her. Team True Beauty also has a special place in my heart, especially now. Just as I appreciate and admire the celebrities that have donated their time and support to this organization, the children I continue to work with look up to me, perhaps because I want them to understand that they are special, capable, and loved. We dont always know their home situations or messages they are receiving from others including the media. Just a few weeks ago, I was speechless to learn a kindergarten had told another she was fat. Shes five and this caused concern when she apparently stopped eating as a result. This is unacceptable. It is no wonder kids are feeling bullied and influence by others. We must be positive role models that share these messages with those who are struggling. Its important to be an advocate that true beauty comes from within. Instead, young women continue to be presented with images and ideas of what is beautiful from television and magazines and if they dont, they are worth less. We should speak of the joy that comes from other accomplishments. I found mine in those who love me for me family and friends, as well as the happiness I experience working with children. They bring a smile to my face and are the constant reminder when I feel anything less than satisfaction. I am not perfect, but I dont need to be. My faith is a reminder of that.

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I have been suffering from an eating disorder (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified: binge-purge sub-type) for the last four years, unlike with other people, I cannot pick out a 'starting point' from which this problem started - it just happened. I knew about things like this growing up which saddens me because I believe it shouldn't be able to influence young children and teenagers - or anyone for that matter. At the age of twelve, my cousin and I used to partake in doing 4000 crunches at midnight to shed weight and then we'd make a vow to not eat a single thing for the whole of the next day--just to ensure that we could be super skinny. I first purged when I was seventeen. I still remember it like it was yesterday; what I ate, how many bites it took to finish the food, what I was feeling, what I thought to myself, how I convinced myself purging was the right thing to do. In my mind, it was the only thing to do. I'd tell myself "I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry" whenever food popped into my mind. In the past four years, I've met so many people suffering from all kinds of eating disorders--some in eating disorder facilities and others not. I've spoken to sufferers with ages ranging between 13 and 52 which makes me think, Is there ever, really, an end? Where's the point where you tell yourself "no more"? DOES it ever end? I have a friend who had an unhealthy BMI of just 14 and although I know this isn't right, we all have moments where we still congratulate each other on their weight-loss. I remember my friend, who is 42, was so happy that he finally crossed the threshold of the 16 bmi and we were all so happy. That night I was thinking about it and how wrong it was that even for a moment I was happy for him. For a moment, I was jealous of him. Its a crazy place to be and I would never wish it on anyone. One time, I starved myself for three days - hadn't eaten a thing, it felt good but on the third day, I figured that I should probably eat something just to save my body. So I had half a cup of 100cal sorbet - which I thought I could sensibly handle. In the middle of eating it, my Mom came home and saw me eating it and said: "all you do is eat" with my brother shadowing her with "yeah, you've gained weight". Of course, this knocked my confidence out at the first round, so I went to my bathroom flushed down the rest of the ice cream and did some damage control. I always thought that my eating disorder was something I could easily fight against but it just keeps getting harder the more I think about it. It's as if I'm stuck in a hole, which has gotten too deep for me and I'm trying to get to the top but then I get knocked back and end up starting from a deeper position. I'm at the point where I'm considering recovery. I've grown really close to my friends with eating disorders but I know that the one thing that will help me is if I separate myself a little bit from them. Many of them have gone now - most are on the recovery path to a healthier life, and the others, well I'd like to think that they are somewhere eating a bag of chips laughing with their families and friends--happy. I know that I have a long way to go yet, the long road to recovery as they say, but Team True Beauty really inspires me. I know that I'll struggle from time to time and fail at keeping food down, maybe I'll never recover, and maybe I'll be happy with myself at some point. Just knowing that Team True Beauty exists gives me hope. It gives me hope that if I can get the support and be in the right frame of mind that I can beat this. I'm still so close to older people who still suffer and they weaken my hope in therapy and recovery each time I see them. It took me all this time to find the courage and realise that just maybe, none of this is worth it, and none of this is worth risking my sanity, my health, and my life. It's took me all this time to accept the fact that when I binge and purge, I'm not going to wake up just skin and bones. Is it worth the upset? I just think I need that reminder that I'm allowed to be myself and that I can lose the weight I want to lose in a healthy way without risking my health. I think meeting people involved with Team True Beauty would inspire me further and would encourage me to look beyond the eating disorder and to believe in myself again. Team True Beauty is the one who have instigated me into wanting to recover. Who knows, without them, maybe I wouldn't even be thinking of going into recovery. I think it's an amazing organization which should have much more recognition than it already has, even if it helps just one other, its still a really big deal. If my story was to help somebody else step into recovery, it would encourage me even more to help myself which I guess is the whole point of Team True Beauty--to discourage people's positive feelings towards the likes of eating disorders. Thank you for taking the time to read my entry.

V I P C o n t e s t : E s s a y 4

THIS MONTHS AGENDA

N O V E M B E R B A B I E S

Wishing a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our November babies:

Cody Linley - November 20 Cherie Johnson - November 21 Kaley Cuoco - November 30

N O V E M B E R N E W S We would like to give a huge CONGRATULATIONS to our own THE BAND PERRY for winning 3 Country Music Awards this past week. Their song "If I Die Young" won Single of the Year, as well as, Song of the Year and the band also took home the award for Best New Artist! Congratulations to you all! A huge CONGRATULATIONS to all of our TTB supporting People's Choice Award Nominees: KALEY CUOCO - Hosting. Also nominated for Favorite TV Comedy Actress and Favorite Network TV Comedy along with her Big Bang Theory co-stars. TIA MOWRY - Favorite Celebreality Star BETHANY HAMILTON - Favorite Book Adaptation for Soul Surfer LUCY HALE and HOLLY MARIE COMBS - Favorite Cable TV Drama: Pretty Little Liars Congratulations on your nominations and best of luck to all of you! Voting is now open at the Peoples Choice Website. The show will air live in January.

After 9 amazing seasons, One Tree Hill wraps up filming of their "farewell season" this week in Wilmington, NC. The little show that COULD, became the little show that DID! We've laughed, we've cried, our lives were changed, we've grown up with and grown to love this cast and this show for the past 9 years. We want to thank our slew of amazing OTH supporters: Shantel VanSanten, Daphne Zuniga, Bethany Joy Galeotti, Lisa Goldstein, Kate Voegele, Jana Kramer, Allison Munn, India de Beaufort, Amanda Schull, Michaela McManus, and Sharon Lawrence for all of your support and for standing up with us to fight for this great cause! We love you ladies and best of luck to you in all your future endeavors! Don't miss the finale series of One Tree Hill starting in January on the CW! Don't miss our own SAVANNAH OUTEN perform at the prestigious Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on Thursday, November 24 from 9am to 12pm only on NBC! Best of luck Savannah! It's Here!! Volume 2 of the inspirational peice "Word of the Day" by our very own RICHARD MARTINEZ! Available now worldwide on Amazon for the free Kindle app on any SmartPhone or PC! Richard has dedicated Volume 2 to his close family friend and fellow TTB supporter DALLAS LOVATO. It's a MUST have!

If you missed Daphne Zunigas Twitter Chat yesterday, you can find it all here!

One-Year Event Information

*All quotes and lyrics were thoughtfully gathered and chosen by TTBs Chief of Communications, Kristen Gray.

Optimism is the foundation of courage. -Nicholas Murray Butler