Making Up Made Easy

Making Up Made Easy
By C. Michael Griswold
By Michael Griswold
C O N T E N T S
! Foreword ! Chapter 1 - What Happened? ! Chapter 2 - Great News: Your Ex Probably Wants ! Chapter 3 - How Pressure Will Kill Your Chances ! Chapter 4 - OK, So What Do I Do? ! Chapter 5 - OK, So What Do I Really Do? ! Chapter 6 - Three Weeks Later ! Chapter 7 - The Reunion ! Chapter 8 - Everyones Favorite Subject - SEX ! Chapter 9 - What if None of This Works?
ReunitedRelationships.com
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By Michael Griswold
F O R E W O R D
B
story:
reakups suck. If youre reading this, chances are you know
this first hand - So do I. Maybe you can relate, so heres the
I met this girl a few years ago. She was beautiful. And our first interaction was intense. You know the feeling Im talking about, where things just click. You feel intensely attracted, sure, but its deeper than that. Almost like it was destined, right?
This was definitely one of those meetings. I told her I would take her out the next day. Even though she was saying, Well, I dont know, I have blah blah blah to do, I knew wed be spending the day together.
The electricity continued. It seemed that we were opposite energies drawn irresistibly toward each other. But with such passion comes the opposite side as well. There was drama aplenty and loads of emotional turmoil for both of us. Then she moved back to her hometown. Ouch
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By Michael Griswold But, being a man of determination, I decided to follow her. I called and set it up. Id come visit her, win her over with my charm and dashing looks and have her fall helplessly in love with me. Shed reproach herself for ever having thought of leaving, and we would live happily ever after.
Except, it didnt exactly happen like that.
Instead, the weekend was a disaster. Heaps of fighting, and I was full of jealousy, anger and bewilderment. When I boarded the plane all that passion I had felt betrayed me.
I sat on that plane and wondered if I could sit there for the next 2 hours. I must have been clearly distressed because the airline steward (I think he fancied me) gave me a complimentary bottle of Jack Daniels to help calm my nerves. Thank God for that bottle of Jack!
When I got back home I was overcome with that same emotion, but here was the kicker:
I didnt even know what happened. She told me all the things I wanted to hear:
I love you. I want to be with you. Theres no one else.

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By Michael Griswold
But she also told me, Im just not ready.
What the hell? How can all those things be true?
You ever get the feeling that people are telling you things that arent exactly true just because they dont have the courage to tell the truth? Well, thats exactly how I felt.
The most difficult thing was that I couldnt fix the situation; I couldnt resolve it - because I didnt know what IT was. Does that sound familiar?
Thats exactly why this book exists
After that situation I decided that I never wanted to feel that way again. And, if you read this book all the way through and do what it says, you wont ever have to feel that way either.
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By Michael Griswold
Here is how to read this book.
First, read this book all the way through the first time. Take 30 minutes or so, and read it from front to back. A couple ground rules:
! Dont dismiss anything the first time through. No matter how silly, irrelevant, or off-base the ideas in this book sound, dont dismiss any of them the first time through. This will allow you to receive advice that you would otherwise be closed off to.
! Enjoy this book. Heres what I mean; try to imagine that you are reading this book after you and your ex are back together. In fact, maybe you guys are reading it together and laughing about the fact that in spite of the break up (or break ups) you are together and happier than ever. This will allow you to read the book with a little less tension and anxiety and you will get more out of it.
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By Michael Griswold
Here is what this book will do for you:
! You will be able to understand what happened with your relationship, and why it failed.
! You will regain your self-confidence, sense of worth and direction that can sometimes be lost in the emotional turmoil of a breakup.
! You will be able to decide whether YOU want this relationship again, instead of hoping and begging that your ex will have you back.
! If you decide that you want them back, you will learn how to woo them back into your arms, this time more lovingly - and to stay, without the insecurities and fears that were normal in your previous relationship.
! You will even discover how to keep your relationship healthy, vibrant and the envy of your friends. After doing the things in this book, its our aim that youll be able to say this about you and your lover:
and they lived happily ever after. !"#$

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By Michael Griswold Thats what we all want, isnt it?
One more thing before we get started. There are a couple exercises to do in this book. These are absolutely essential. If you really want to feel better, to have control of your relationship with your ex (and others) - then do them. You will thank me for it. You can even send me a Christmas card, unless youre Jewish. Then you can send me a candle. I will accept either, both or any other item you wish to provide.
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By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
WHAT HAPPENED?
W
anything point in
hat Happened? Understanding is the key to doing At life, some you your
well.
drooled all over yourself and anyone around you. Then you learned that this wasnt acceptable or very suave, so you stopped. Or at least I hope you did. The same thing applies to relationships. The first thing to do when recovering from a relationship is to figure out what happened. As the old quote goes, Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it.
This is the question that most people have the hardest time answering. And its not made any easier by a breakup thats caused by drastic actions such as infidelity. I mean, you could say we broke up because he cheated on me, but that still doesnt answer the question, does it? Why did he cheat? What happened to make him do it? At the end of this chapter you will know the answer to that.
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By Michael Griswold Remember when you two were totally into each other? Maybe you did everything together; maybe you had inside jokes, special date spots, and fun activities that were never as fun with anyone else. Maybe you had mind-blowing sex, passionate kisses, and maybe even strangers told you how good you looked together. Where did that go?
And this is where we get to the good news! It didnt go anywhere. Its still a part of their memory as much as it is yours.
(Of course, if you never had any good times to remember, please email me for a prompt refund. I have no interest in helping people to torture themselves needlessly.)
For everyone that is still reading, heres the deal. You see, what is true, though hard to remember sometimes, is this: at the root of the issue are two people who once felt immensely passionate for each other, their hearts swelled when spending time with each other, but along the way, something went a bit amiss. And never having been corrected, it kept going amiss until one person couldnt see the things that originally brought you together - painful indeed, but thankfully, not final.
Its true isnt it, that sometimes its easier to get mad at someone, store it up inside and try to overlook it, than it is to confront the situation. What happens next is typical. Those little hurts build up, and not having an outlet, they explode into a breakup. Most people dont like confrontation. Dont you find that to be true? Isnt it easier (at least in the short term) to
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By Michael Griswold let things go, not cause a fight and become slowly bitter? But you dont notice most times, right?
The breaking point comes when those little hurts outweigh the good that you get from the relationship. This is where it gets a little different for men and women.
or Men You see, men love to be pursuers. We love to be conquerors. And
we love to be admired and respected for what weve pursued and conquered. This is why some men will cheat on their girlfriend, boyfriend or
wife. You see, we want at our core to be respected. And when the person a guy is with doesnt communicate that well, he is easily swayed to find this satisfaction elsewhere.
What does this mean for you? At the beginning of this chapter I told you that understanding is the key. If your breakup was with a guy, understand this: a man wants to feel like Leonidas from the movie 300. He wants to pursue - and conquer, and then be admired for the courage and confidence it took for him to win. Its too early to go into how to do this. At this point, simply understanding this to be true is great.
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By Michael Griswold
or Women If your interest is in women, heres a secret: women LOVE to be loved. They love to be adored, chased, desired and wanted. Here is
the great compliment of the sexes. Men love to pursue and capture, women love to be pursued and captured. And the effect of neglecting this basic intimate desire of a woman is disastrous. A jaded woman is not lovely to herself or to her mate. When a woman feels ignored, part of her shine as a woman is lost. And her actions show it. It becomes easier for her to be offended, to nag, and to be generally unenjoyable to be with. But you see, she is fighting to be given what she desires most - the adoration of the one she adores.
What does this mean for you? If you are interested in women, understand this: a loved woman becomes more beautiful every day. She is more passionate, more trustworthy, and more vulnerable.
Quick note: ! Most women consider the most attractive quality in a man to be confidence. ! The most repulsive? Arrogance ! Most men consider the most attractive quality in a woman to be vulnerability. ! The most repulsive? Neediness
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By Michael Griswold
The thing about this is the difference between these qualities is razor thin. You can begin to see how little unsettled hurts over time can shift a person from exhibiting the desirable quality to the undesirable one. Lets move on to the next chapter where Ive got great news for you
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By Michael Griswold
CHAPTER 2
GREAT NEWS! YOU EX PROBABLY WANTS YOU BACK AS WELL!
ound ridiculous? Or does it sound like the best news youve heard all week?
Either way, in study after study, its proven to be true. And its not hard to understand, is it? I mean, you two have a history. You have inside jokes, special date spots, great memories of laughs, road trips, memories with mutual friends. You have, I hope, great sexual compatibility, similar morals and outlooks on life. And, you were clearly attracted to each other at one point, right? You ever notice that some people order the same thing over and over at a restaurant? I have a friend named Taylor, an otherwise great guy. He has varied interests, and hes very smart and successful in his career. But if I ask him, Hey man, lets have lunch. You have a preference? He will ALWAYS say Chipotle. (Chipotle happens to be a burrito shop in Denver). Why would he do that? Does he have burrito deficiency syndrome? You ever notice that when you were in school, even if your seats werent assigned, you would tend to take the same seat every day? You know why? Well, this sort of human behavior tells us why your ex wants you back as much as you want them. The reason is this: we are creatures of habit. We love the routine. We love knowing what to expect, even if what we teach ourselves to expect is the unexpected. Are there exceptions? Sure. But these exceptions prove the
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By Michael Griswold rule. And chances are that your ex is a normal person that loves what she knows as much as you do. In addition to the pleasure and comfort we get from routine, there is another issue that you have on your side. You and your ex have (presumably) done the hard work of getting to know each other. Youve gotten past all the weird phases of the initial part of a relationship. All of the heavy lifting, so to speak, has been done. You both know what the other likes, and how to accommodate it. It just makes sense, doesnt it? Even if its hard to agree with because you think your situation is unique, this fact is true. People like routine. People like the familiar. And what this means is this: Your ex likes you. Remember the ground rules we agreed to? It might sound ridiculous. But before you dismiss it, give it a chance. You just might find that the thing you want to be true really is true. So if thats the case, why arent you two getting back together? Lets look at the next chapter to find out.
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By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
HOW PRESSURE WILL KILL YOUR CHANCES
ressure is a killer.
You know the look. You can feel yourself cringe as you see that guy standing there, getting ready to give you the hard sell. You know that in just a minute hes gonna go on and on about how great the new miracle cure for your life is and how you cannot possibly live without it. How does it feel as you imagine that? Good? I didnt think so
You see, we dont like being pressured, do we? I remember when I had a job selling car repair services to dealerships. It was my job to go to various car dealerships and sell them on hiring my company to do the reconditioning work, you know, taking out dents, fixing scratches, and repairing tears in the interior. Well, I had no idea what I was talking about, but I had plenty of eagerness. That eagerness got me a lot of Sorry, Im busy responses. Not quite the result I had hoped for. It wasnt until a friend took me aside and said, Hey man, you might want to lighten up on the intensity. Then I started to get it. The people I was calling on could hear my desperation and even though they might not have been able to articulate it, it made them nervous and feel that I wasnt trustworthy. You may be seeing the parallel.
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By Michael Griswold
As you begin to see the effect of pressure, you can understand what repeated texting, calling, stalking, emailing, facebooking, etc will do. What effect would that have on you? Can you begin to imagine what it feels like to be in an uncomfortable situation (and all breakups are uncomfortable for both parties) and have one person adding more pressure to it? Doesnt really help, does it? Remember when I talked in the first chapter about things going amiss? And remember that at one point you two were infatuated with each other, happy and in love? But now youre hurt, angry, and want the other person to know it, right? You also want them to know that in spite of that, you still care about them, maybe even love them. But whats the effect of adding that much weight to an already sinking ship? You guessed it - the ships sinks faster than Leonardo Di Caprios love in the Titanic. Now youre beginning to understand more of what has been happening. And, youre beginning to understand how your actions help or hinder your chances of getting back together with your ex. This brings us to our first decision point. Here it is: Do you want to vent your feelings, tell the other person to screw off, and just get it off your chest? If so, do so understanding the effect. The effect will be more distance, more brokenness, less love. If however you want to make things work between you two, you will have to do something else with those emotions so you can act in a way to woo them back. You will have to control your emotions (Im giving some tips on how to do this in the next chapter) and act in a way that will relieve pressure, not add to it.
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By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
OK, SO WHAT DO I DO?
O
whenever
kay, So Really, What DO You Do? In the last chapter I told you I would give you some advice on ways to help control the fury of emotions (guilt, anger, anxiety,
depression) that you may be feeling. Have you ever noticed that you start something new it seems a lot harder than it really is? For example, the first time I went snowboarding I had a terrible go at it. As a matter of fact, I ended up in the hospital with a broken back. Yikes! Now that Im almost the best snowboarder in the world (in my head anyway) I look back on my start and think how big a deal I made of it. It seems so much simpler now - and it really is. Whats the difference between then and now? Practice The following exercises will help you. Practice them. ________________________________
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By Michael Griswold
Heres what were going to do - Im going to guide you through a meditation. This is simply going to be a meditation to relax you, and settle your anxiety, allow you to look at the situation with more objectivity and optimism. First, just get comfortable. Now, read through the exercise. Get the idea of what to do, then put it into practice. Just try to do it for 5 minutes. And then see how you feel. Okay, start to breathe deeply through your nose. Count to 5 as you inhale, then exhale through your nose as you count to 5. Do this 3 times. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now, closing your eyes, say the word OM as you breathe in. OM as you breathe out. Feel your chest rise and fall, feel yourself becoming more relaxed. Allow the feelings to come and go with each breath. _______________________________ Now that youve done this, you will feel a bit more relaxed. If this was your first time practicing a meditation, the result may not be drastic. Its the same as anything else. You probably werent a pro at reading the first time you tried it either. But if you do practice it daily, you will notice a significant difference. Start your day with this mediation. Take these 5 minutes to dedicate to yourself. The research shows over and over that regular mediation has
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By Michael Griswold innumerable benefits. The one we are focusing on is relaxation. Because you cant be anxious and relaxed at the same time, right? The next thing to do is this: After you have spent your 5 minutes in meditation, open your eyes, and say - I LOVE YOU, Michael Griswold. Of course, youll use your name, instead of mine. If you do love me (like if youre my mom), feel free to use my name also. But your name is most important. Heres why: Research shows over and over that telling yourself that you love you has powerful benefits. Not just to hype you up and make you feel better, but actual neurological (brain) benefits. It seems that your brain (and mine) responds to the things we tell it. And if we tell it good things, it will begin to believe us. And it will send out chemicals that support this way of thinking. All sorts of feel good chemicals are released and the brain actually forms new pathways based on this way of thinking. This has benefits far surpassing the outcome of whether you and your ex get back together or not. As you continue to practice the meditation and the affirmation of love, you will find that you become more confident, more loving, more trusting, and more self assured. Do you think these qualities would help you in your love life? Now for the coup de grace! This one exercise alone has been responsible for the healing of many hearts and the renewing of confidence and faith in the hearts of the ones who have done it.
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By Michael Griswold Lets say you and I were to go to a movie, how about Braveheart? The particular movie isnt that important. So, do you remember when his wife has her throat slit in the beginning? Now lets say we left at that point. Walked out. The movie stopped. The end. What would you think of that movie? Well, if youre like most people (myself included), youd think that it sucked! Why? Because there was no resolution. We didnt get to see the problem resolved. But now, lets say that we stayed to the end of the movie. Whether you like the particular film Braveheart or not, you can see that the story at least makes sense at the end. And doesnt the beginning make the rest of what happened all the more powerful? All the more moving? All the more inspiring? Your life is no different. You see, if we stop the film of your life at the low point and analyze it there, we might say the same thing we said about watching Braveheart the first time together: That sucks. But, the film isnt over for you either. No one watches a movie that starts off with:
Once upon a time there was a beautiful rich prince and he met a beautiful rich princess and they lived happily ever after.
Why? Because its BORING!
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By Michael Griswold The point is this - your story is in the middle. When the rest of the film is shown, this part WILL (just like in every good movie) make the ending so much sweeter. The fact that you experience this low allows you to experience a greater high. Okay, so how do you use this juicy bit of film trivia? Heres how: Imagine the ending of your story the way you would write it. Not the way youre afraid of it happening, but the way you want it to unfold. See the two of you together, laughing, holding hands, undressing each other, whatever. Now, while youre in that scene, think back to this situation and how good it feels knowing that you worked through it and are now together again, closer than you ever were before. And, if you make a movie about it, Ill be sure not to walk out at the breakup part of the story. In the next chapter well discuss some practical steps to take that will help you to arouse the desire in your ex and have them wanting you back.
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By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
OK, SO WHAT DO I REALLY DO?
understood where you are in your relationship (what happened), that your ex still wants you back, and that pressure is a killer, its time to figure out what to do with this knowledge. How do you use it in your interaction with your ex? First, chill out. This means to be in communication silence. After a breakup the tendency is to call, text, beg, plead, threaten, make fun of, etc. DONT DO THAT. One, it makes you look desperate, and two, it makes you lose respect for yourself. Instead, do this: Get a pen. Find a calendar. Find the date that is three weeks from now. Got it? Now circle it. Do you know what this date represents? This is C-Day. No, its not Christmas. Its Communication day. This is the next time you will initiate communication with your ex. What is the significance of 3 weeks?
kay, so what do I really do to make this happen? Now that weve
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By Michael Griswold
Your brain learns new habits after three weeks. Right now, you may be reactive, anxious or desperate to get your ex back. As weve discussed, this is not the state of mind that works, nor is it a state of mind that is enjoyable. But marking this date on your calendar gives you a goal. It gives you direction, and it gives you time to allow the pressure to relax a bit. The benefits of this cannot be expressed in words. Combined with the simple exercises we discussed earlier, this puts you in a frame of mind that is confident, healthy and self-assured. This puts you in the position to be the one in control of whether this relationship goes forward or not.
But I cant wait that long!!!

To put it simply, you have two choices: Either back up, regroup, and take these next 21 days to sort your own heart out. OR Go on feeling anxious, scared and depressed until your relationship finally dies forever. Unfortunately, people who take this option usually do the same thing in the next relationship, and the next, and the next. Its totally your right to choose it, but I personally dont think its as enjoyable.
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By Michael Griswold If you chose to go with option 1, here is some advice. First, we as people can do almost anything if we have an end in mind. So although you might feel like its impossible, you can endure it with the end date in mind. It was said of concentration camp victims during the holocaust that the ones who survived were the ones who could see the end of the torture and a return to a better future. My guess is that you arent being burned to death in your breakup, or watching your family go to the gas chamber, however, a little perspective is sometimes helpful for giving us that extra courage we hope to exhibit. __________________________________ Heres what to do to help: First, do things you like. Action is the key to making changes. So get up! Here are some ideas of things to do to get you started Although I can help with ideas, its you that must take the action. And I can assure you that if you do, youll be glad you did. A quick note about the following activities: At all points possible, schedule the events that youre practicing at the same time every day. This will help you mentally to break up your day into bite sized chunks, so that instead of wondering how youll get through the entire day without talking to her, youll only have to make it through a couple of hours until (fill in enjoyable activity here). ! Go to the gym - whether you enjoy working out or just want to make sure youre looking super sexy for the next time you see your
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By Michael Griswold ex - give your body a workout. Youll enjoy the release of endorphins, and tighter abs! Schedule your trip to the gym at the same time every day. ! Schedule in yoga class everyday - yoga is simply superb. ! Having practiced now for about 6 months, I can tell you it makes me calmer, more focused and more loving. It may do the same for you. ! Take a pottery class - never done this myself, but it just sounds cool. I mean, getting your hands on a lump of clay and making it into something tangible is hot. Not to mention you get to use that wheel thing. ! Go onto Craigslist and look under the activities section - loads of people are looking for partners to do fun/weird/cool things with. A recent search brought up everything from a sailing expedition to the Bahamas to a monthly book/beer club at the local watering hole. Think about how freeing it can be to widen your circle of friends and enjoy experiences with other people. ! Find a tennis partner - I put this in because I think tennis is fun. If its not for you, you should probably skip this one. ! Take a guitar lesson. ! Go horseback riding.
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By Michael Griswold ! Go snowboarding (if youre in Denver, come out with us). ! Go on a speed date - Im sure youve heard of this. It was made famous by Will Smiths movie, Hitch. If you can go into it with a sense of humor, it could provide you with loads of laughs, that night and afterwards. Speed dates are held in major cities, and you can find the ones closest to you with a simple Google search of speed date + your city. ! Volunteer at a retirement home - sometimes getting perspective on your life is just what you need to get your mindset back to the way you want it. Not to mention, old people are often hilarious with their decades worth of stories to tell. Very entertaining! ! Or you can get a big tub of ice cream and/or a 12 pack of beer and gorge yourself. Sometimes that can help, but not usually.
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By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
THREE WEEKS LATER
but lets play the imagination game). How do you go about reconnecting? And what do you do if your ex calls you between now and then? We will answer both of these
ome Time Has Passed So here we are, three weeks later. (I know we arent really,
questions here So there you are, doing your thing. Its been a week, and although its been tough, youre starting to feel better, and more confident. Youre starting to see some of the things that contributed to the breakup and youre starting to feel like the challenges arent impossible to overcome. And you miss her, right? What do you do? Lets explore both answers so you dont feel like Im feeding you a load of rubbish.
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By Michael Griswold
First, you could let her text send you on a spiral of desire. You know this feeling, Im sure. Like a crack addict that just caught a whiff of some pipe smoke, and wants a hit really bad. But is that what you really want? Because we can predict what will probably happen, cant we? If you take her (or his) text and run with it, your ex is still in control, arent they? And if theyre in control, that still makes you the needy one, doesnt it? The one thats waiting for their ex to change their mind, but whos never quite secure in their decision, right? So, if you get back together on their terms, what will keep that from happening again? (A quick note here I am not suggesting that you have a power trip in any way, and Im certainly not advocating that you make your ex come begging like a miscreant for your forgiveness until you strike them with the scepter of mercy.) What I am saying is this: you want the respect of whoever you are getting into a relationship with, right? Well, if you answer to your exs beck and call, how much will they respect you? In other words, you want them to wonder if youre still interested. Thats what youve been doing, isnt it? And what has been the effect on you? When you wonder if they still love you does that make you more eager to have them? It does for everyone. We all want that which is hardest to get. So, lets look at another option. I think this one will sound more attractive both to you and your ex. Because the fact is, your ex doesnt want you to be wrapped around their finger. They want you to be your own person.
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By Michael Griswold If your ex texts you, here is what you do: you make a short reply that is kind - keep it short. You want to convey that youre moving on (even if you arent) and things are going well. Here are some examples: They text you,
Hey, whats up?

You might respond with something like:
Hey, things are good. Been doing (whatever youve been

doing - if youve been crying and eating ice cream, make up something else)
. Hope all is well for you.
You should wait a of couple hours before you get back to them. What you want to communicate is that you arent waiting for their every communication. You can see what the effect is, cant you? You come across as looking okay, adjusted, moving on. In effect, you come across as: Desirable. If they continue the conversation, let them know something like this:
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Hey, its good to hear from you. Sorry, I cant talk right now. Im in the middle of (whatever). Well catch up soon.
By Michael Griswold Now, if someone you wanted said this to you, my guess is that you would want them some more. The reason for this is we love to want what is difficult to get. When I was a kid, I wore turf cleats to school. You know, those shoes with about 100 little rubber cleats on the bottom? While the cool kids had Air Jordans or Reeboks, I had those lame shoes. Do you think I was showing them off? Why would I? Because anyone can get those sorry shoes. But the people who got the Jordans right when they came out, they were showing them off to whoever would listen. You see the parallel, right? Be the one who is desired. It feels good, and you give the satisfaction of giving something of value to the person who pursues you. Taking the approach that makes you desirable takes courage. I know that you have it in you, even if its buried under 30 years of cowardice. Keep digging. Youll get to it. Now that the three weeks have passed, and you want to get in touch with your ex and make something happen on your terms, here is what you can do: Call them up. Dont text them - thats lame, and in situations where the relationship is not fully defined, its too easy to read into things. So call them. Try to call sometime when you dont think they will answer. Youre not really wanting to talk to them as much as you are continuing to
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By Michael Griswold build your desirability. When the voicemail comes on, leave a message that is light-hearted, fun, and focused on them. You might say something to the effect of:
Hey, youll never believe this, but I was over at Urban Outfitters and they are having this massive sale on womens jeans. Since youre a jean connoisseur, thought youd be glad to know. Hope all is well.
You will have to adjust it of course to the appropriate situation for whoever youre talking to. Though this sounds a bit technique-ey (made that word up), when combined with an understanding of why you are doing it, it becomes very powerful. Heres what you are communicating: You are telling them that you have been thinking about them, without telling them this. And youre doing them a good turn, arent you? Youve done them a favor and thought of them, without going on and on about how much you want them back. Without going into the background of the psychology behind all this, Im sure you can see that it will have a positive effect and, if done in the proper tone, it will have them thinking great thoughts about you, and as a result, youll become more desirable.
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By Michael Griswold You know how sometimes telling someone something bluntly has the opposite effect, especially if youve told them the same thing over and over? We kind of get conditioned to it, dont we? Sometimes its better to take a sneakier route. So instead of engaging their conscious mind, you are engaging their subconscious. That is what the message above allows you to do. You can think of it as a back door approach to communication; one that is far more effective than the normal way. If it feels like this is a bit of cat and mouse, it is. This push-pull element is fundamental to attraction. Again, these arent tricks or spells, just normal human psychology mixed with regular common sense. In every healthy relationship there is a certain amount of tension. Most often that tension is created by this push-pull element, even without people knowing it. By being aware of it, you can keep that tension (and as a result, that attraction) going even long after the butterfly stage is gone. If youve done this really well and the attraction is strong, you may find that your ex actually asks to see you again. This is very positive (duh). If not, after they return your call, (and they will, just give them time to do so) offer to meet up for a bit of catch up. The way you phrase this is extremely important. Something like this:
!"#$
''&
By Michael Griswold They call you back. (Small talk small talk, blah blah blah). In this small talk, be prepared. Have something to say. Not just, Well, you know, same old same old. Or even worse, Nothing going on here, what have you been doing? You want to portray yourself as the one who is desirable. So even if you think your life is more boring than the latest rerun of Hogan Knows Best, talk about something, anything that is going well for you.
Hey, guess what? You know that puppy that I got? Hes starting to go potty outside!
You see, the content of what youre talking about is WAY less important than the enthusiasm with which you talk about it. ! Did you know that 93% of our communication with others is nonverbal? What that means is this: when you talk to someone, how you say what you say has a far greater impact than what you actually do say. Does this make sense? Re-read that last sentence again to make sure you understand. So, the important thing to communicate (through your enthusiasm, upbeat disposition and sunny personality) is that you are desirable. We all like positive people, dont we? I can just hear some people saying No, I think positive people are annoying. Well, that might be part of the reason youre reading this book.
!"#$
'(&
By Michael Griswold
The key is to make the conversation short. No more than about 5 minutes. In that time, see how they are doing, tell them one good thing going for you and then say, Hey, I gotta go, but it would be fun to get together and catch up a bit. You wanna grab a cup of coffee next week? The exact meeting location is not that important, but there are some things to shy away from. Dont do dinners, family events, weddings, etc. You want the feeling to be lighthearted and fun. Go for lunch, coffee, or a drink after work. These are low-key settings that allow you both the freedom to not feel pressured. And its that low-key, no expectations mindset that you want to take with you when you meet up together. For more on this, lets see chapter 7.
!"#$
')&
By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
THE REUNION
the top of your lungs, Reunited and it feels so good! No. Dont do that. If youve gotten to this point, the rest is all boomps-a-daisy. Youve given your relationship room to breathe, gotten yourself under control, and begun to make strides toward loving yourself. It should be apparent that if you and your ex are getting together to hang out, however briefly, its a good sign. They are still interested in you, and, based on the fact that theyve agreed to get together, they are interested in repairing the breach in your relationship. However, the fat lady isnt singing yet.
he Reunion You should go into wherever you are meeting and start singing at
!"#$
'*&
By Michael Griswold Youve done most of the hard work, and since you two have a history, if you keep just a couple things in mind, your time together should go swimmingly. Now that youve gotten to this point, youll want to make the most out of the effort that youve put forth. So, when you go to meet up, have something planned. A story, a funny story about something thats interesting to you both. This will kick things off with a low-key, fun kind of mood. Then just let things flow. For ideas of what to start the conversation with, go to Digg.com or Delicio.us, and do a search for most talked about items. Usually, there is plenty to choose from there. Choose something good, and then just let the conversation flow. Before you meet up, set yourself this goal: That if things start to get weird or uncomfortable, or you want to recite a Shakespearean sonnet to declare your love, be sure to leave Immediately. The reason is this: you dont want to have any reminders for yourself or for your ex of things being lame, uncomfortable or clingy. So, if things start to feel not quite right, just leave. Now if things are going well, when you get up to leave they may offer to see you again. Let them make this request - dont you be the one to do it.
!"#$
'+&
By Michael Griswold The next time you two get together it will obviously be more relaxed, more normal, and more like it used to be. If the time you two spend together that first time is a drag, then really consider, what is it that you want out of this? What is it that youre chasing in a situation that seems to have nothing good in it? There is more on this in the last chapter. For now, lets take a moment to talk about the birds and the bees
!"#$
',&
By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
EVERYONES FAVOURITE SUBJECT
there on this subject. This chapter wasnt one that I was planning on including at first, but after reading a book by a guy named T Dub Jackson, I thought it was a good idea. He brings up some good points that are definitely worth discussing here.
ex When doing research for this book, I read a few books out
or Women Okay, ladies. This might be a
shocker, but guys really like sex. (GASP!) - Not only the physical aspect of it, but the chase, the conquering, and the winning. In fact, this is far more satisfying than the physical act, since we all know there are other ways toahem, achieve that feeling. So what does this mean for you? A lot. To start off with, youll want to this a bit already, but with regards to sex, its even more heightened.
!"#$
'-&
understand the effect that a chase has on a guy. We have talked about
By Michael Griswold Essentially, if youre looking to get back with your ex and make it last, dont have sex with him straightaway (sorry guys). Heres why: The desire you can arouse in a man by having him wait for you sexually is very powerful. I mean, weve all read some of that old school poetry right, or seen the fables about men going off to battle to win the ladys hand? I dare say there were other parts of her anatomy that he was more interested in winning. The parallel is clear, isnt it? Not only did this ritual make the guy put forth the most possible effort, he appreciated what he won. Its basic psychology. Have you ever worked really hard for a goal? Tried to get a certain job? Tried to get to a certain weight? Tried to achieve a certain amount of money? Whatever your goal, most times the amount of effort you put in will directly affect your appreciation of achieving it. A necessary caution for you women: do not use this as some sort of power technique. There is a fine line between persuasion and manipulation. Persuasion is used to benefit both parties, while manipulation benefits only you. For example, we might use persuasive tactics to stop a friend from using heroin. But if we use persuasive tactics to get our friend to give us loads of money just to benefit us, thats manipulative. Heres the rub: if you try to use sex as a power tool, youll only build resentment and you still wont get the commitment from him that you want. If you engage in a battle of wills, you might be outwitted and then feel used and betrayed.
!"#$
(/&
By Michael Griswold Think of it this way: in the fables, when the hero comes back from the battlefield having conquered the task, the woman doesnt retract and withhold herself from him and give him another task. Make sense? If you try to exploit this good desire in a man, it will likely backfire. Instead, set in your mind that you two will be intimate once he has established that he is interested in being with you only. And when he does, reward him with the best sex he has ever had. (Youre welcome guys).
or Men Fellas. Heres the deal for you. First, the advice, then a caution for
you as well. The advice. Have sex with your ex as quickly as you can. Women associate physical touches and intimacy with emotional intimacy. Even when a girl sleeps around a lot (hopefully this doesnt describe your ex) she has some emotional connection to the act. So, if you want her back, close to you again, youll want to properly seduce her as quickly as possible. Think of it as reconnecting. Not only that, but she will not likely brush off such intimacy as casual. A word of caution here guys - while you should re-establish your intimacy with your ex as soon as possible, this does not mean in any way that you are to force, coerce or make your ex have sex with you. In addition to making you liable for crimes that are devastating in their consequences, you will lose her respect.
!"#$
(.&
By Michael Griswold
Instead, do this: begin by arousing her imagination. As many of the people Ive worked with before have heard me say, If you can capture a womans imagination, she will give you any other part of her you want. So, capture her imagination. Read old school poetry and then rework it into your own words. Tell her things that you know please her. For example, if you know that one of the things she wants to do is ride down A1A on the California coast in a convertible with big sunglasses and a scarf around her neck, talk to her about that. Tell her the things that please her emotionally. Women are far more into connection and imagination than money, looks and whatever else. Then, when you guys are alone, take your time. Begin by just being close to her, smelling her, kissing her gently on the neck, shoulder, ear. You want her to want you. You dont want her to feel like you just want to do your thing. Instead, build her desire up by moving slowly and passionately. Talk to her gently, telling her that you find her irresistible. Women want to feel wanted, remember? Not just because they have vaginas. They want to feel wanted for who they are. Connect with her emotions, and then wait for her to tell you she wants you. Then make love to her more passionately, more slowly and more lovingly then you ever have. Shell be glad you did. And so will you.
!"#$
(%&
By Michael Griswold
C H A P T E R
WHAT IF NONE OF THIS WORKS?
parting is such sweet sorrow. Weve gone over how to get yourself relaxed in the aftermath of a breakup, the basic psychology of attraction, some tips and techniques to apply that basic psychology and then how to keep them around once you have them. Alas, with the number of people who are going through this daily, not every situation is going to work out the way we hope, is it? What do we do in that situation? The aim of this book is to focus on you. Because really, when you boil it down, this situation is significant because it affects you. Throughout, weve talked about ways for you to become more self-aware. The fact is, you life. You just hadnt realized that you already instinctively knew. Armed already know what to do about your ex, about your love life, about your
o, what if all this crashes? So here we are at the end. And
!"#$
('&
By Michael Griswold with what youve read in this book, youre now several steps closer to a conscious understanding. The fact is this: the breakup that precipitated how you feel now is one of many challenges throughout your days. This wasnt the first challenge, and it wont be the last, but if you can take from this a greater awareness, you will approach the next situation with more grace, confidence and pizzaz; and eventually discover an outcome that will undoubtedly make you happier.
Michael Griswold
" Relationship Expert " Author " Speaker Find out more at ReunitedRelationships.com
!"#$
((&

Making Up Made Easy

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Making Up Made Easy

reakups suck. If youre reading this, chances are you know

this first hand - So do I. Maybe you can relate, so heres the

Except, it didnt exactly happen like that.

I love you. I want to be with you. Theres no one else.

But she also told me, Im just not ready.

What the hell? How can all those things be true?

Thats exactly why this book exists

Here is how to read this book.

Here is what this book will do for you:

and they lived happily ever after. !"#$

By Michael Griswold Thats what we all want, isnt it?

or Men You see, men love to be pursuers. We love to be conquerors. And

kay, so what do I really do to make this happen? Now that weve

But I cant wait that long!!!

Hey, whats up?

Hey, things are good. Been doing (whatever youve been

. Hope all is well for you.

or Women Okay, ladies. This might be a

o, what if all this crashes? So here we are at the end. And

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