Ashley's Drama!

TRUE STORY There was a small town girl named Ashley, who came from a bad background. Ashley had no one to trust but her oldest sister Rose, which was in her twenties. Rose had two kids and lived with her twenty-eight year old boyfriend Dwayne. Ashley lived in small town Virginia. She was the youngest out of five. Two brothers and two sisters. All which she thought she could trust. Ashley and Rose were so close. They spent almost every minute together. Ashley could go over Rose's house every weekend and she felt safe. She would go watch Dwayne race at a dirt rack close by so Rose wouldn't have to go alone. Rose and Ashley told each other their deepest secrets. The only thing Ashley didn't know was that Rose would soon take a turn neither you or Ashley would expect. Rose started taking Ashley out on weekends and tried to get her to drink alcohol and smoke. She would leave her kids at home. One Saturday night Ashley and Rose were at a guys house that she partied with and Rose tried to get Ashley to have sexual contact with another male while she was doing the same with another one in another room. Ashley was shocked that her older sister would tell her to do this stuff. Ashley didn't do what her sister told her to do she just talked to the other guy and watched the television. That night when Ashley and Rose were headed home Ashley couldn't look at Rose. She was ashamed at her. Ashley was also ashamed at herself. When Ashley and Rose got home they unloaded the blazer because they had been to super Wal-Mart to get layaway. It was December the 12th. After putting everything away Ashley went and got on the computer until everyone went to sleep. Well at least she thought everyone was. Ashley fell asleep in her sisters bed with her niece, Dwayne was on the coach, Rose was in her sons bed with him. Around 12 or 1 Ashley felt someone rubbing on her. She pushed the arm off and dozed back off to sleep. Later on around 3 or 4 when she awoke Dwayne was on top of her and he had no clothes

on. He had taken Ashley's pants and underwear off of her while she was sleeping. While this was going on her niece awoke and he told her to go sleep with her mother and to Ashley's surprise she just went on and never said a word. Ashley wanted to scream so loud for Rose. She was scared that Dwayne would hurt both of them and the kids. After a while he got his stuff and told Ashley not to tell anyone or he'd F****** kill her. Oh and she believed him too. She knew he was very capable of something like that. After Ashley put her clothes on she felt weird in the bed and she didn't want her sister to find out so she went to sleep in the chair. Dwayne slept on the couch. Ashley barely slept. Then on Sunday Rose kept asking Ashley what was wrong with her, while she was taking her home. Ashley told her nothing she was just tired. Rose knew there was more than that to it but she just left it alone. Ashley kept hearing Dwayne telling her that if she tells anyone he'd f****** kill her. So for two whole days Ashley kept away the secret and kept to herself as well. Finally on Wednesday it finally busted out. Not exactly the way it should of came out. Ashley called a mutual friend and told him that Dwayne had made her sleep with him because she knew that he'd tell Rose. When Ashley got home that night Rose had called like twenty times or so and so had Dwayne. A little later that night Ashley's mother came home and saw how upset she was and saw there phone numbers on the caller id. Ashley's mom tried talking to her but she wouldn't and couldn't stop crying. So she went and called Rose to ask her what was wrong. Rose told her to ask Ashley that she was the one accusing Dwayne of sleeping with her. Ashley's mom hung up then ran to talk to Ashley and she told the whole truth. Ashley's mom told her to get dressed that she was going to the hospital. They got ready and went to the hospital. At the hospital Ashley didn't know she would have to talk to so many different people about what had happened to her. I think she felt relieved to finally tell someone about it though. Rather than to be

scared. Ashley felt safer knowing that she finally told someone. Especially her mother and everyone in her house. That night at the hospital Ashley talked to a detective from Waynesboro. She told him and many others her story. But that wasn't the end. That was barely a start for her. Ashley had to go to the UVA emergency room to get a follow up exam done by a forensic nurse two days later. Then following that she had to have a female exam. Ashley was so emotionally damaged. She was stressed to no end; all she ever did was worry. Late one night she got really upset and took a razor knife and carved pain in her arm. Ashley was so upset that it didn't even hurt until after she did it. The first time she met the detective in person and told him her story he called her a liar. He tried to get Ashley from going on with the case. The detective got Ashley so upset so she tried walking out the station. Well he wouldn't let her. Ashley told him she would find someone who would believe her. The detective had already went and got the clothes Ashley thought she was wearing on December the 13th. That night when Ashley got home she was pacing the floors and all of a sudden she went flying down the steps and she came flying back up them with paints and her underwear that she was wearing that night. Ashley called the detective and said "you wont find anything on them clothes because I have the clothes here that I wore that night." Ashley felt good to feel she had power over the detective and Dwayne. Because one day soon she knew she was going to prove them wrong that Dwayne wont that innocent. Ashley was headed to her therapist session when her mother informed her that she has a sexual transmitted disease called HPV. Ashley was checked like three weeks before she went to Rose's just as a normal female exam. Then the other one was checking for things like this. Ashley and her mother both know its from him because Ashley has only had sexual contact with one guy and that was over a year ago. It never showed up before and now she was rapped so it makes since it had to be from Dwayne. On February 4th Ashley was informed that the detective has still not sent her

clothes off for DNA. Ashley has also started smoking since she found out she has this disease. She figures why not die sooner. Ashley doesn't want to live through all this mess. Ashley has tried to commit suicide but then she decided what her destiny was. Her destiny was to live to see that Dwayne got justice for what he did to her, and also that the detective got pay back for messing with evidence by not sending the clothes off. Ashley and her mother never got along too well but with all this it made it twice as worse. Ashley felt embarrassed to even try and talk to her mother. Ashley loved her mother don't get me wrong, she was just ashamed about what had happened to her. Ashley pushed all her friends and loved ones away. She was going through this alone. Although she knew she didn't have too. She chose to as of right now. She had to make her own decisions about a couple of things right now. Like if she felt safe with herself or if she wanted to even try to trust anyone again. Ashley figured shed make due by herself until she could trust again. If she ever could. Ashley and her mother made a little bit of progress when Ashley found out she had the sexually transmitted disease. Ashley and her mother looked it up and did research on it. They started spending time together and talking more. Although there seemed to be more arguments. Ashley was getting in way too much trouble at school. Her mother was scared for her and her education. Ashley needed to let someone else help her and not be so independent. While Ashley was being so independent, she was changing dramatically. She seemed more like those people on drugs who don't care no more about what happens to there education or life. But she wasn't on drugs it was just the amount of stress and pressure and drama she had been through. She was also still facing twice as much stress, pressure, and drama now then ever. Ashley even had thoughts of going out and getting pregnant. She couldn't do it because she knew her mother loved her and she needed to prove the same to her mother. So that's what she did. Ashley thought that if she had a kid it would calm things down a tad. But deep down and the more

she thought about it she knew that was all a lie she was telling herself. Ashley wished one day soon that this mess would be all over. Well she had a doctors appointment soon about the STD. So she hoped it would be evidence to take to court. Ashley was so stressed but anyhow she knew what she needed was a job to get away from everything. She knew it would be hard because she was only 15. Ashley wanted to get a job to make it easier on her family. Ashley had animals to pay for and if she wanted to drive she needed to have a car. So she needs money for that also. Ashley felt rushed to grow up because of what happened to her. Ashley wanted to work but there was something else inside her that didn't want her to work. She was all confused about that as well as everything else in her life. Ashley decided to give up dating and everyone said that was the best thing for her right at this point in her life. At least until she straightens her biggest problems out. And learns how to handle them. Then try dating again so she wont hurt herself again. Since December Ashley couldn't see her niece or nephew. It was tearing her apart too. Those two kids meant the world to Ashley. She wouldn't do anything to be away from them. Although that's not what Rose is saying. Rose is saying Ashley is lying on Dwayne and she doesnt believe Ashley love's the kids as much as she says she does. But she's wrong, Ashley adores them, they are what kept Ashley out of so much trouble, not just the kids, Rose too. Every time Ashley looks at their pictures she breaks down into tears. She kind of wishes she would of never of said anything and just of started having the kids come over to her house. Ashley can't even email the kids or instant message them so it kills her to no end. Ashley was there to protect the oldest one from her real father from day one. Poor Ashley couldnt protect neither one of them now and it was killing her so bad. Ashley's whole life has turned upside down. She don't dress, talk, smell, act, or even behave the same. She now smokes and dresses like she could give a crap if her clothes came from a dumpster around the corner. Ashley was letting her hair grow in

these awful shapes. She almost looked homeless with a home. Ashley didn't want to live at her home. Her mom's boyfriend was getting pretty violent in words and he was starting to throw, kick, and punch things. Ashley wanted out. There was only a couple ways she could think of. Death, or to get pregnant and run away or just run away. Ashley knew she had to get rid of her STD to do any one of these besides the first one. Ashley knew it wasn't going to be soon before she had to get the heck out of there. She had a couple guy friends who might have let her come down but who knows. Ashley felt like going crazy but she knew there was someone worth keeping it together for. Ashley had lost all hope for finding a nice guy to be with all because of one jerk. Not only that but he ruined her whole life. Ashley will never be the same no matter what. Not even if she gets the best counseling. Ashley goes out places with her nanny and everyone. But constantly she's watching her back. She doesn't trust anybody. Ashley barely trusts her own mother anymore. Ashley met this woman in CVS pharmacy. Her name was Helen wood. She said she had teenagers none going through this but Ashley could always call her when she needed to talk. Ashley thought Helen was trying to get her to meet her 17 year old son but Ashley told her she wont ready to date just yet, so Helen was aright with that. And of course Ashley still wanted to run away so she didn't want to get close to him. Helen wasn't a mother type to Ashley she was more like a best friend type. Ashley really needed that at this point in her life. Not someone to yell at her every time she messes up or makes a bad move. Two weeks later Ashley's friend Harold asked her out and she said yes to him. He could always make her laugh. One day Ashley was really upset although she didn't know why. So she called him up and asked him to pick her up after school that lonely Wednesday. He came and got her and they went to a friends house and talked about everything that was bothering her. Ashley told him about the disease and how she was rapped and how it had affected her life and he understood. He looked at her and told her

"and you expected me to dump you for that?" "I'm still here and will be for a very long time". After a couple of hot days of attitude and fights with her mom about him they decided to meet him. Ashley knew they would all like him. Her mom told him he could come out one day during the week and one day during the weekend right now until things settled down. A couple days later he got laid off his job so Ashley learned she could have the choice of what days she wanted him out there. She was just so happy. But then again she knew he was already looking for another job. She knew she had to let him have a job to buy her things and be able to buy him things and support himself. Instead of his dad supporting him his whole life. He got a job. He started acting funny and she suspected things. But on the night of the 29th she found out he had been lying to her for a while. He told her he wanted to end the relationship. Ashley really loved him and it killed her deeply. She went into her room on that night and cried for hours on that lonely night. She never cried without Harold to comfort her so it hurt. Ashley still wanted him after she knew he had lied to her about a couple of things. That's all because she loved him though. Ashley didn't know how she was going to sleep, eat, drink, or even breathe without Harold. Ashley and Harold talked about what happened and he promised it would never happen again. Since she loved him so much she believed him. Ashley told Harold he only got one more chance though. Harold claimed he was never really mad at her. He just wanted to be alone because his dad had made him mad. That's why he lied to her and said he was coming out to her house and never showed. Ashley knew he loved her but she kept asking herself to what point does he love me. Meaning would he actually not lie to her again. Ashley knew seventy - five out of eighty percent he wouldn't lie again. That is how much she trusted him. On the 3rd of March Ashley found out that she made a big mistake by forgiving Harold. He was supposed to go to her nanny's house and he never showed up. When Ashley finally got in touch with him he was at a party with a bunch of girls. There was guys there

too so it didn't bother her until a girl answered his phone and asked her who this was and when Ashley said Harold's girlfriend the girl hung up on her. That's when Ashley suspected something was up. Ashley had not been able to sleep or eat at all. She felt totally empty inside. After all this she still wanted him back. Why, she had no darn clue as to what so ever. When Ashley called Harold he told her that he found him a real woman. She knew what that meant. Ashley wouldn't have sex with him and he acted and even said he would wait until she was ready. But he lied about that too. Ashley didn't know how she was going to do without him now that she knew she could actually be happy with him. She knew it would be a long, hard and lonely road to recover from the broken heart. She had to do it just to prove him she wasnt a sucker. Which she knew she really was a sucker in love with him. Ashley was so scared to cry and let everyone see how bad he hurt her. But it was a tad bit late for that. Ashley was stuck in between two bad things happening to her and she felt trapped. Ashley's mother was supposed to get a lawyer and go to Waynesboro and find out why her clothes had not been sent off for DNA test. Ashley felt betrayed by the police and then she went out and found a nice guy she could trust or thought she could. He made her laugh, feel good about herself, and feel like she belonged. Then he turned around and lied to her. Then that mad her feels completely the opposite. He was only lying the whole time and she was so blind she didn't she know he really was. She still blocks out how he really is because she wanted him to be the one. Well as for Harold ever coming back over to Ashley's house, well that would never happen again. Ashley's mother told her he was not allowed back over to her house or even to call there. Ashley had tried to get over Harold for a week. She couldnt do it, it was impossible. Sometimes Ashley wished she would have kept on driving that night with Harold that way today they would be together. Ashley said she knew it was meant to be because the first time they split up they got back together and they say if you get back together its true love. Ashley was really mixed up in a lot of emotions and now

that Harold was gone for good probably, she had no one to talk to. On the weekend of March 5th Ashley was with her mother shopping and ran into Rose and she broke down in the middle of the store. Ashley kept hearing Rose call her a liar and a whore. Ashley felt like she couldn't breathe for about 10 minutes. Then she saw her niece Kacie and she knew she couldn't talk to her because of the on going investigation. That part really killed Ashley. Ashley loved her nice and nephew very much. It killed Ashley one day when Kacie told her she hated her because she made her daddy go away. Ashley knew she was too young to say anything more. Ashley told Kacie it wasn't her fault that what Dwayne did was his fault and he should be punished. Ashley couldn't get herself together from that little scene for a while. She even thought of suicide again. Thank god she found ways to out smart the urges to cut on herself. On March 9th Ashley and Harold talked for about 20 or 30 minutes. They started dating again. Harold told Ashley he still loved her and he never lied about loving her. He also told her he never cheated on her and she believed him. Ashley didn't think she could get her mom to except him back into there home but that would be okay. She loved him enough to see him in between. At least he said he loved her enough too to try and see her in between too. But there is always that possibility. Well Ashley never wanted to even start to turn the direction where the possibility laid. She loved him and wanted to be with him too much to even think of it. All she could think of was having his kids one-day and wearing his ring and having his last name. He kept telling her this was going to come true very soon. To tell the truth the very first day that Ashley met him she thought he was going to kill her. It was he and Mike Finch and Ashley. She was scared to death. Then they talked and she realized after about two months that he was a real sweat heart. Everyone could tell there was that bit of fear there still. Everyone told her to smarten up and get away from him. That he was nothing but trouble. Ashley wouldn't listen to them though. She was a stubborn child when it came to taking others advice.

Ashley couldn't wait to hear more on the case because she hopes the DNA comes back and they nail Dwayne. Then they nail the detective for tampering with evidence by not sending the clothes off and doing his job weather he believed her or not. The Dr. she went to about the STD told her she had to come back. Ashley couldn't help but worry and wonder why. She was only supposed to have one appointment over there. Ashley saw her mom go out on the porch to tell someone about what the Dr. said about the results. She knew they were keeping something from her but it was killing her about just what. Ashley even asked her mother what the Dr. said and her mother wouldnt tell her anything. That scared her more than knowing that the Dr. and her mother knew more than they were telling her. Ashley knew it was something she wasnt going to be able to handle and she was kind of glad they weren't telling her at this point. Because she was trying to bring up all her grades and improve her life. She didn't need anything pulling her back down because she was improving. Ashley had come down a long and rough road to be even in the state of mind she was in after what had happened to her. Ashley still had a long road a head of her to travel too. Ashley was having major thoughts of having Harold's kids but then again she knew she was only 15 and he was 19 and her mom could put him in jail. Ashley didn't want him in jail. She loved him too much for that to happen. Ashley was stuck with two rough roads right now. She was going through three actually. She had to deal with all the heart breaks and aches to deal with Harold and then the STD and then the other crap with the detective and Dwayne. Ashley didn't know where she would be in three days from now. Let alone two minutes. She was scared she might never wake up or she might have a nervous break down. Ashley knew Harold said that if she got pregnant he would be there for her and the baby. He said he'd never leave her any ways. But Ashley was scared of her mother. She didn't want her putting him in jail or killing her or hating her. Ashley thought of a plan. She would get pregnant and not tell anyone, but Harold. Then tell her therapist

she cant take all the stress. Then why she's in hospitals figure out a way to tell everyone. Then she can talk to her mother about not putting Harold in jail because the baby will need its father. Also Ashley cant go to school, work, and be a single mother all on top of that. Ashley and Harold should stay together if they decide to make this baby. Ashley and Harold have an odd relationship but people are starting to let Ashley be with him. They're tired of trying to help her make choices only she can make and she knew that. Ashley really missed Harold laying with her on her bed and her trying to wake him up and him saying he wont asleep. Ashley was writing poems for Harold. She didn't care if he liked them or not because they are to let him know how she feels about him and the way he had been treating her up to now. She didnt know that when she would be able to give them to him, but she would she knew she would. She just had a feeling she would. Ashley was really pissed because she found out that on the past weekend her sister Jessica had been with Harold without her knowing. She wasn't going to tell her either until Ashley asked her herself. Ashley said its pathetic these days that you cant trust anyone. The bad thing about it was her sister was over her boyfriends house with her boyfriends sister Heather and they went to mess with this other boy. Then Harold was there, Jessica tells Ashley she didn't do anything but everyone knew she is a big time well four-letter word. But no one believed Ashley over Jessica. They said Ashley was the one who would sleep around. When Ashley hadn't even been with as many guys as Jessica can mess with in one week. She even messed with them while she had a boyfriend. Ashley knew what she had to do. Ask Harold to tell the truth and tell him that Jessica had already said everything. She had to mess with his mind a little. Jessica's too. A couple days later Jessica's boyfriends sister Heather called Ashley from Harold's cell phone. Ashley tried to play it off like it didn't bother her. When deep down inside she knew it killed her that Heather was around him, knowing she was a two-faced girl who would sleep with anyone.

Ashley knew what had to be done after the way she was treated. She needed to tie Harold down by having a kid. That way he had a responsibility to take care of and would attend to before he spent his nights with his girlfriends. Ashley knew if he didn't she could get child support and lots of it. Ashley was positive that Harold would take care of the baby and be with her but she wasn't sure if he'd quit his lying. That's what bothered her the most about the choice she had to make. Every since Ashley and Harold broke up the first time her grades have been awful. Although she was trying her hardest and with all the strength she had left to improve them. Ashley had a feeling about hurting herself again but was scared to tell anyone because she didn't want to be sent away. Although she knew she might not have much choice about it if she hurt herself again. Ashley and Harold were happy for about a week. Then just Ashley was happy. She thought Harold was happy because he was lying and saying he was and telling her he loved her. Ashley thought he loved her like no one ever did before. All because of a bunch of lies. Ashley started seeing his lies but still kept him. He even told her at times he didn't love her and then he'd say he was joking. Which was also a lie. But Ashley couldn't let go of him till this day. Ashley told everyone how much she loved him. And meanwhile he was probably seeing other girls and feeding them the same lines he fed her. And telling people he never really loved Ashley. But still no matter how many times you told her to get rid of Harold she'd tell you they were happy and he had changed. Yeah well we all know how that goes don't we now. Harold even told Ashley he didn't have a way of coming to pick her up. Well Ashley found out that was a lie too and she still won't get rid of him. Ashley started pushing herself to exercise and she even stopped eating. She thought that would make Harold see her clearer. She was hoping to loose weight so that all the people who called her fat would feel fat when they looked in the mirror. She knew that would take some time though. Ashley wanted to know how it felt to turn someone down. She knew if she kept her mind

set on her goals she could get there and one-day know how it felt. Then all the guys who turned her down because she was a tad bigger than other girls will look like rejects. But that will be just fine with Ashley. Because that's exactly what she wants. She's tired of being the beggar. She wants to be the choosier. All the boys treat her like dirt because she's a little bigger than your normal sized girl is. But it's supposed to be the insides that count anyway. Ashley will not get rid of Harold because he didn't turn her down. But she loves him so much. He brought a red cavalier when he lied to Ashley and told her he brought a black bronco. But she wont get rid of him. She still says he loves her after she caught him with her own eyes with that lie. No one knows how to help Ashley because she wont even offer to help herself. She wont get rid of him and she knows she needs too. Ashley sits at home and all she does is think of Harold and cry. While he's probably out with another girl and has forgotten all about her. Around the beginning of February Ashley tried to commit suicide and told her mother she needed help. She went to a hospital in Lynchburg, Virginia. There she got all the help she needed. Or at least she thought she did. Two weeks later, in the hospital she felt like killing herself again. She told the Dr.'s she would too if she went home. So she stayed there for two more days then went to the state hospital in Staunton, Virginia. Ashley decided that she had to end it with Harold. So she did finally, in the middle of April. Ashley still thinks of him all the time, but she knew deep down inside she did the right thing. Ashley wasnt sure shed ever find a good guy ever again. All the guys she had met or knew were jerks. At the state hospital Ashley got to go on weekend passes home. On one Saturday her mom, her, and step dad went to a party. Ashley gave a guy there her phone number. She said if he called then good but if he didnt oh well. Ashley was at the state hospital for a whole month. On the last week there she found out a big surprise. Ashley found out she not only liked guys but also girls. Ashley didnt know how she felt about that. She told this girl she liked that she liked her and they started dating. Not like the rest of

her relationships, there was no arguing or fussing. They got along just fine until the day Ashley had to leave. Neither one of them wanted to be separated from each other. Ashley promised Ann Marie she would call and write her. Ashley meant it too. Ashley couldnt imagine why she liked girls. But I can tell you just why she does. Its because all her relationships with guys had been so terrible, so she had been forced to liking girls. Ashley wasnt planning on telling anyone about her and the little surprise she had encountered. Ashley got released on April 30th. She wasnt planning on going back to school that year. Ashley thought she would do home bound for the rest of the school year. That way she could focus on other things beside the stress at school. Ashley was hoping and praying she could just live and lead a normal life, but she knew that was not possible at all. Not after everything she had already been through in her fifteen years. She was scared to death of failing the 9th grade. She didnt want to fail. She wanted to pass and go to tenth. Ashley didnt know if that was possible any more. Ashley and her ex boyfriend Mike Finch had started talking again, but only as friends. Ashley didnt know what she wanted to do anymore. At one time in her life she wanted to be a Vet. Now she had no darn clue because she couldnt even tell if shed make it that far. Ashley was thinking of becoming either a rape detective or a rape counselor. She wanted to help those who were going through what shed already been through. Ashley knew she had more things to do to make her life normal again. Some things I dont think she can do. She knows she cant do most of them alone. Ashley was scared to try anything she needed to do because the biggest thing had to do with what happened in December. Its now May the sixth and she still has nightmares of what happened that night. Theres still nights when she cant even get to sleep. She can only sleep in the day. No one knew why this was. But everyone said she was scared to even sleep. We all believed that. Ashley was finally getting nice guys to ask her out. Still she didnt want to date at this point and time.

Ashley had a friend named Cameron; they have known each other for about three and a half years. Cameron lately told Ashley he liked her more than a friend. Ashley realized she felt the same way, but instead of dating him she turned him down. He even offered to take her to the movies and out to eat. She still turned him down. He was also a sweetheart, which she knew. She wanted to tell him how she felt about him, but the words never came out when they talked. Ashley was scared that she was going to loose him if she didnt speak up soon. Her whole family loved him and she loved him. She was thinking about all the things they have in common and how much they liked each other and how sweet he was. She realized something. She wondered if he could be the one. Then tears started flowing down her cheeks and she hated herself for thinking that because she knew thered never be a guy out there for her no matter what she did or said. Ashley was so scared to love or be loved and it was very obvious. Ashley still chose not to have any friends. She thought it was definitely the best thing at this point and time. She said she already had enough to worry and stress over. Ashley knew she needed someone to talk to about her problems but she couldnt trust anyone enough to talk to them. There was someone she could trust a lot but not yet enough to open up to talk about her problems. Ashley could only trust her friend Cameron. They talked about what was always bothering her. He even offered to take her places to get her mind off of things. Ashley sort of pushed him away and told him maybe. She knew she would probably regret saying maybe. A couple weeks later their relationship started fading and Ashley tried so hard to get rid of him. She didnt know why she was trying to ruin things between them but she was. Ashley left some horrible messages on his phone. She told him she didnt want anything to do with him, and sure enough they stopped talking. Ashley felt horrible for doing what she did to him. She knew she couldnt take her anger at one guy out on him. Ashley realized she liked him more than a friend and it scared her. She also felt that

Cameron was only trying to do things for her because he felt sorry for her. She wanted him to do things for her because he liked her not because he felt sorry for her. Ashley called and called Cameron to apologize for being a you know what. He never returned her calls. She felt so miserable. Ashley knew she had really done it this time. Ashley wanted to fall off the face of the earth. She knew he probably was the right guy and now she had ruined it. Ashley was scared to drop by his work and try to talk to him about what she had done and said. Ashley had traveled a long, hard, and lonely road. She didnt want it to be like that anymore. She wanted Dwayne to pay for what he did to her and probably her niece too. Ashley really didnt want to find out he had already did this to her niece. She would probably go off on him and the detective for not doing anything about it. The last thing she needed was more trouble in her life right now. Ashley didnt want to face reality that if he had rapped her he has and probably do it again. If he did she would feel guilty because the cops didnt believe her. She knew she had to get the truth out there some how and some way. Ashley had written the newspaper a letter. She held on to it for about three days before she finally decided she was going to give it to them. She didnt know that if going public would help but she sure hopped it would. Ashley knew she couldnt give up hope that one day Dwayne would pay for what he did to her. She was tired of trying and trying to explain to people that what she was saying was the truth. Everyone kept telling her they believed her but she wasnt so sure they did. She knew she wasnt lying but it seemed everyone was against her and calling her names. Yeah everyone lies once in a while and so has Ashley. But she wouldnt lie about something this big. Ashley was going to be home bound for the remaining of the school year. She just found out when she will start. Ashley also found out she knows the boy teaching her. His mother is a teacher at her old school. Ashley and his mother got a long great, kind of like best friends. She was kind of glad she knew him already so she

can not worry about getting to know her teacher and go right to work. Ashley was a little nervous about getting back to school and studying. Even though she will be at home. Ashley was tired of dealing with everything that was going on. She couldnt loose weight. She couldnt even feel happy about the life god had gave her. Every skinny girl she would see she would wish she looked like her. Ashley wanted to actually starve herself because she couldnt loose weight. Ashley was 15 and weighed 198 pounds. Lately her weight had been increasing especially since she was rapped. Ashley felt ashamed every time she saw a boy she liked and she knew deep inside shed never have a chance with him. She hated herself with a passion. A very, very, very, very deep passion. No one was there to help her with all her problems and to guide her through all the bad times. She needed someone to be there for her. But she felt all alone. Ashley felt like she was loosing hope for herself. Although she never really had much hope for herself any ways. It was Memorial Day weekend Ashley and her family was going camping on the James River. Ashley was hoping to have a good weekend, but around six or seven oclock she walked to the vehicle to go to the store and she saw Dwayne. Now Ashley felt like she was completely trapped. It was like he was everywhere she was. She didnt feel safe anywhere, with anyone. She didnt even trust herself anymore. Ashley was at the point she wanted to kill Dwayne. She felt it was worth being in jail for the rest of her life. At least shed feel safe. She was getting to the point where she thought no one believed her about what happened. The way she was acting and the thing she was doing wasnt helping that out much either. She couldnt talk about the feelings she was having and how she felt about the whole mess. On the following Tuesday Ashley made a huge mistake. She slept with her best friend. Ashley didnt know why she did it. She just had all these mixed feelings and didnt know what to do with them. The weekend didnt help her feelings and emotions at all. That weekend played a big part in what happened that Tuesday.

Ashley was ashamed of herself because of what had happened in December and she was doing more things to be more ashamed. It hit Ashley real fast and hard that she forgot to take her pills the night before and that night. They also didnt use protection. Ashley was wondering if her life could possibly get any worse than it already was. Ashley was making everyone hate her because she hated herself. What had happened and still was happening mentally to Ashley was affecting everyone in her family not just her. Her step dad had started drinking again. Her mom on the brink of insanity. Her sister Jessica wouldnt talk to her or go anywhere with her anymore because she was ashamed of the way Ashley was acting. All this was hitting her at the same time all her mixed feelings were. Ashley was scared of what everyone thought about her. She didnt really care about herself anymore. She actually felt sorry for herself because of the way she was acting. Not only was she making a fool of herself and giving herself a bad name but also she was pushing the ones whom cared most about her and who wanted to help her away. Ashley blamed herself for what had happened in December. Her mom wasnt going to let her go that weekend but she just had to beg to go. Now look at what happened to her. She blamed herself tremendously. Every time someone would ask Ashley how she was her response was always Im tired. She would say that so she wouldnt have to tell the truth about how she really felt. Ashley wanted to keep her feelings to herself. She was scared to talk about them with anyone because she was worried they would judge her by what she feels. Although she didnt have suicidal thoughts anymore didnt mean they were gone forever. Ashley was scared that bringing up the past might cause problems in the future. When she thought about the past it caused a lot of problems so thats why she was scared to talk about what she was feeling and thinking. She also didnt want anyone to feel sorry that she had been through all the things she had been through. Ashley was starting to learn things werent always going to go wrong for her. She was learning

people actually cared about her. Ashley was falling in love with her best friend Anthony. Anthony promised Ashley that if anything happened he would be there for her. Well she was about to find out if he was telling the truth or not. She thought she was pregnant. She had been having cramps and she hadnt started her period yet. She was so scared to tell her mom. She knew she couldnt tell her mom because she would go off on her. She also knew she had to tell someone because she needed to take a test to find out for sure before she goes and tells Anthony she is. Ashley was scared that he would just ignore her and act like he never messed with her. Ashley knew thats all guys was worth is just to tell lies. She knew almost every lies and tricks guys could say or use. Shes heard them all and heard them all too much. Ashley was tired of hearing the lies and excuses guys would give her if she didnt do things their way. Ashley was very convinced that Mr. Right would never come for her. She was looking for him for so long she knew that shed never find him either. She wanted to give up, but there was something theyre stopping her from giving up. Everyone thought it was because she was lonely and really needed someone to be there for her. Everyone who was helping Ashley wasnt sure if shed ever heal from all her battles. She knew the truth though. She knew she would never heal. There would always be scares from all her battles. Thats not what she wanted though. She wanted them to heal and wanted no one to tell how bad her life had been screwed up. She looked at everyone else and would always ask god why couldnt she be as happy and or pretty as that person couldnt. It hurt a lot of people that cared for her when she asked these kinds of questions. They would always tell Ashley she was pretty, but she wouldnt believe them. She figured they would say that to make her feel better about herself. That never helped though. The hottest guy in the world could tell her that and she wouldnt believe him. She would just figure he felt sorry for her. Ashleys family was tired of her acting out and causing problems, but they knew they

had to be patient and hope for the best. When Ashley would go to sleep she would wonder why she is still a live and why cant god help her loose weight. She was starting to believe there wasnt really a god. She was also starting to think her family didnt want her around anymore. That really wasnt the case though. The truth was that they were just worried about her tremendously. Every hour of every day she would ask herself and sometimes ask other people how could someone rape another person and still run free? Ashley was scared he would do it again to another girl and they would be worse off than she would. Ashley was scared all this crap was going to go to court. The thing she was scared of is her sister could pay those guys to lie on her again. She knew she would do it again to. She was also scared they would use the fact that shes been hospitalized against her. Ashley was most depressed about the fact she probably wouldnt ever get to she her niece and nephew again. She loved them kids to death. She would put her body in front of a bullet for them kids. She found out her niece was doing terrible in school and was catching a bad attitude. Ashley wanted to be there for her and help her out through the whole thing. She knew she couldnt though. Ashley knew shed never she her niece or nephew again. She missed them terribly. She found a picture of her and her niece together and she cried for hours. Ashley wanted her and her niece and nephew to be able to talk. She wanted to be there for their whole life not just the beginning. Ashley was moving around from place to place. She had a lot on her mind and she needed time away from home to get things right. She didnt even know if she wanted to live at home anymore. She felt like she was ruining everyone elses life. She didnt know what to tell anyone anymore. She also knew she had to talk about what happened in December but it was too hard to talk about. Ashley thought it would be easier on everyone if she was never born. Ashley and her sister Jessica got along but they fought every other day. Both of them would start the fights and Ashley would

end them. Ashley was also getting a little better at expressing her feelings to her sister Jessica. It was extremely hard to open up to Jessica because shes scared she might betray her like Rose did. Ashley wished there were more hope for her. She didnt believe there was any hope for her to recover from what happened to her. She knew she still had a long road in front of her yet to face. Ashley almost wished there wasnt anything up a head but a different life as a different person. Ashley still felt bad about the way she looked. She would go with her sister and cousin when they went shopping for there boyfriends and she would wonder to herself if shed ever be the one shopping for her boyfriend. She kind of knew that answer all along. She had a feeling deep inside shed never have a boyfriend again. Not only because of her looks and her trust issues but also because of her betraying her mothers trust. Ashley wanted the life and body of every skinny girl with a boyfriend. She didnt appreciate her life at all. Ashleys mom told her she wasnt responsible enough to get her drivers permit. Ashleys cousin Sarah was trying to get her to date her boyfriends little brother Jamey. Ashley wanted to date him but she never actually said yes. Everyone wanted her to be able to date again. They especially wanted her to be able to trust the person that she dated. But no one knew if that would ever be possible again. Ashley even wondered the same thing every minute of every day. Ashleys mother informed her that the detective had contacted her and told her that the evidence had come back and he wanted to ask her some questions. So Ashley and her mother had to be at the police department the following morning at 10 oclock am. Ashley was glad the evidence was back. But she was also nervous about going back over the mountain and talking about what happened. Ashley was scared because she didnt know if she had to face Dwayne or not. She knew if she had to face him she would fall a part and all her progress she had made to start healing would all just disappear. She was trying so hard to start healing and she didnt want all that progress to disappear in a snap. Ashley

knew that would be what would of happened if she had to face that jerk Dwayne. When Ashley walked into the station the detective introduced her into the commonwealth attorney. Ashley, the detective, the attorney, and her mother all went back to a small room. They all talked for a little while and then the attorney asked her mother to leave the room so he could get the exact facts about what happened that night. Then he started asking Ashley question that the defensive lawyer might ask her on the stand. There were lots of questions she didnt know how to answer. Then there were ones she couldnt even understand the words to. She thought oh my god, how do I answer that one or this one?. Ashley got confused a lot by the questions. The attorney said that was what the defensive attorney was going to try and do was confuse her and try to get her to answer the questions wrong. The commonwealth attorney said he would call Ashley and her mother on Monday or Tuesday. He never called and all Ashleys hope for actually proving what happened had all disappeared. She didnt understand why they were dragging their tails on this. Ashley started to feel herself going back to that very depressed and suicidal person again. She wanted to be away from everyone and she felt like she was dealing with this whole mess alone. She was also scared because her stepfather had started drinking again really bad. She was scared of what he would do and also his kidney failing on him. He had diabetes really bad and alcohol could cause his kidneys and other organs to shut down on him. Ashleys old friend Brent had started t contacts her again after like 11 months of not talking. She was kind of curious as of to why he was starting to contact after so long. She blew him off when he wanted to talk to her the first couple of times he had called. Then she thought over it and decided to give him a chance and find out what he wanted and why he ever stopped keeping in touch. Well Ashley came to find he was looking for a friend to depend on like she was. They both felt the connection between

each other after 11 months. It shocked them both. Ashley knew she still loved Brent with all her heart and soul but she also knew he was going trough a bad time like her so she couldnt tell him that. She knew it would be too much for him to handle. Ashley and Brent were both really happy they could be there for each other. Ashley was actually shocked that she could trust him because of what happened to her, especially him being a guy and everything. Well about two weeks had went by and Ashleys mother had been playing phone tag with the commonwealth attorney. When she finally got in touch with him, he kind of acted like he forgot about the case. Then he told Ashleys mother that Dwayne had already been arrested and he was supposed to go in front of the judge next week. So that meant Ashley would probably be in court within two to three weeks. Ashley felt weight lifting off her chest but she knew it was only starting. Ashley knew that if he was convicted she still wouldnt have her innocence back but she could start all over. She also knew he would pay for taking her innocence too. Ashleys mother was also going to be away when she went to court so that made her a little more nervous. She didnt know how she would handle all the stress and pain with out her mother being there. Her mom had been there throughout the whole mess and knows she was leaving when the big part came up. Ashleys mother would have stayed if she would have asked her to but she didnt mention anything about it to her. She knew her mother needed a vacation so she wanted her to go and get rid of some stress. Ashley wished she could get rid of all her stress. One night really late Ashley kept hearing Dwaynes voice telling her he was going to kill her if she told anyone. Ashley couldnt sleep a wink for the next few days. Ashley never went to court like the attorney said she would. She was so nervous about everything. Ashley had decided to go back to Monticello instead of going to Murray. Ashley met a guy named Philip, whom she thought she was in love with. But evidently she was but she wasnt sure he was. A couple of days

later he told her he lived with a gay guy but he promised her he wasnt gay. Well the gay guy never wanted them talking or seeing each other. Well the gay guy told Philip he had to tell Ashley he was in a gay relationship or else he wouldnt have a place to live. Philip lost his job because of the gay guy. When Ashley called Philip a couple days later he told her he was going to kill his self. Ashley told him to call the cops or they couldnt be together. Well he said he didnt want to call the cops. So Ashley called them for him. Ashley had strong feelings for him and was scared he would hurt himself. So thats the only reason she called the cops. Ashley knew she had to move on really fast before she fell for him again. So her and her ex started talking just as friends and then they started to become more as a couple. Ashley didnt really want to be in a relationship at this point and time. Although she didnt want to be alone either. Ashleys home life was getting worse by the hour. Everyone was fighting. Her mom would always let her boyfriend curse Ashley out for no apparent reason. Ashley wanted to just runaway and she might of still. Ashleys counselor would always give Ashley bad advice. Ashley knew it was bad advice too. She just couldnt make her own decisions so she was allowing her to make all her decisions for her. On a dark, cold, Friday night Ashley had an appointment for family therapy. When he got there her mom was telling her she needed to be sent away. Ashley couldnt believe what her mom was telling her. She had just gotten out 6 months earlier. Ashley felt like her mom was trying to throw her away. Ashley loved her mom, but when she got mad she got really mad. Ashley broke the mirrors on her mothers vehicle. She didnt mean to but she was so upset that her mother was throwing her away. Well they went to the ER and the therapist there told her mother she couldnt send Ashley away because nothing was wrong with her. The therapist suggested changing counselors. Ashley received some really good news. Dwayne had confessed to everything. That was good for Ashley but then again

not. Because she figured if he talked theyd bargain with him. She knew he wasnt behind bars yet, that he was still with her sister Rose. Ashley knew shed never see her niece or nephew again and it still kills her till this very day. Ashley really loved those kids with all her heart. She missed them dearly too. Ashley was missing a big chunk out of her life and it was those kids. Ashley didnt know what to do about never seeing the kids again. Ashley loved them kids more than she loved herself and everyone knew that. Ashley always put the kids before her. She was even thinking about starting her own baby-sitting job on the weekends. Thats how much she missed them. She would get a job with kids around to make sure she would never ever forget them. She cried herself to sleep every night. She had pictures of them everywhere. When people would ask her who they were she would say There two very special kids Ill never see again. Ashley was still thinking of getting pregnant, but now for a whole different reason. She was hoping her kid would be just like either her niece or her nephew. Deep down inside she knew that wasnt possible. Although she wished it could happen. Ashley was never going to be herself again. She hated that too. Ashley was very anxious because November 8th was rolling up faster than she thought it would. She wanted to pretend nothing had ever happened. She knew she definitely couldnt. Ashley was scared that if she got pregnant then her mother would hate her along with everyone else she knew. She wanted to be reminded of her niece and nephew every minute of every waking day. Ashley knew she had to find a way to be with her nice and nephew again. The only problem was that, that would never happen. A few days before the 8th of November, Ashley's mother received a phone call saying that the court date wasn't November the 8th, but that was when the sentencing would return. Then they told her mother that the actual court date would be in January sometime. Ashley couldn't think of anything but that she would have another Christmas in hell. Not only that, but her sweet 16 would be a crappy one. Knowing how crazy the courts was they

would probably have the actual court date on her birthday. Ashley started her new school on November the 16th. She didn't think she liked it very much, but she figured she could complete all her work and finish her next three years of high school there. She knew a lot of people who went there. Ashley still didn't feel like she fit in there either. It was a lot easier than Monticello though. Although she didn't exactly know if she liked it being as easy as it was. She always liked hard work. Now everything seemed so easy and there was less work to do. Ashley liked Ivy Creek so far, but she was scared she was going to be rejected by the kids there as well as she was at MHS. Ashley thought two boys were cute, but she also knew she needed to focus on her work not boys at the time. Although that was sort of tough because she felt lonely and wanted as well as she needed a companion. On the 17th of November, Ashley's sister Jessica had run away from home. Ashley felt like it was all her fault. No one knew where she was or if she was alive. I don't think it got to anyone as much as it did to her. Ashley prayed for her sister to be safe and warm. She also prayed to god that if he would bring her sister home she'd never fight with her again. It put a lot of stress on her. Ashley and her boyfriend had just broken up and she was upset about that as well. That made her more anxious and upset. Ashley wondered if there would ever be a Mr. Right for her at all. She was scared to even try to ask someone out because the fear of being rejected. Also on the 17th Ashley's mother lost her job. Now everyone was going through a tougher time. Ashley was scared because she thought they were going to loose everything they had. There was absolutely no money coming in the household at all. Ashley felt poor, and she became suicidal again. She didn't want to feel like that, especially during Christmas. She got to where she couldn't sleep at all and she kept getting these migraines in the middle of the night. Ashley was scared because if she didn't kill herself then the migraines and the stress would. Ashley wished she could get a

job to bring money in and take some of the stress off of her mother. That was near impossible. She was only 15, but she didn't have long to wait because she turned 16 in January. She didnt want to wait because she needed the money now. Ashley was scared her life was going back down the same road she had just gotten off of. Ashley had written her newest crush a note. His name was Chris York. He was 17 and he went to her new school. She knew she probably never had a real chance with him. On that same day there was going to be a Thanksgiving lunch at the school. Ashley had invited her step dad along. She hopped they would have fun eating a nice lunch together. Little did Ashley know that when she left and decided to call her mother that there would be an argument awaiting her. Ashley and her mother got into an argument about her mother not having a job. Ashley hated arguing with her mother so she just hung up the phone. Ashley had called about a couple of jobs and she hoped she would get one, so she could help pay the bills. Ashleys new crush was just like the others. Chris told her one thing on the phone and then completely ignored her during the school day. When he called he had told her she needed to stop calling herself fat, because she wasnt. Well two days later she over heard him talking to a boy at school and the boy was cracking jokes about Ashley being fat and she heard Chris agreeing with him. Ashley almost fell out in the floor; she didnt know what to think. Chris had told her that he had a girlfriend in Richmond and when they broke up he would start talking to her about dating. Well the next day in school she found out he never even had a girlfriend in Richmond, it was a girl at their school. Ashley couldnt believe what she was hearing and seeing Chris say and do. She thought he seemed nice, but just like all the others he turned out to be a big disappointment. Ashley was tired of his games so she decided to start ignoring him, which no one would really notice because they never talked in school. She stopped calling him and writing him notes. She knew he didnt mind it at all. Ashley had gotten so mad she carved the word death into her

lower left arm. Then on the next day she really regretted it because she was scared someone would see it and turn her in and then she would have to be hospitalized again. Ashley knew she couldnt be hospitalized again because she needed to stay in school. She wanted to have a guy to be there to help her with all her emotions. She needed to learn how to trust again, as well, but she didnt have anyone to try and trust. So it would be a while before she trusted again. Ashley wished for a boyfriend for Christmas. Which she knew shed never get. She thought shed give it a shot anyhow. Although she really wanted Chris, but she didnt know why. She didnt think he was really cute and she knew he was a big time liar. So she was always wondering why she liked him so darn much. Chriss girlfriend was going around school telling everyone she was pregnant by Chris. When he was telling everyone that he never even seen her outside of school. So Ashley didnt know whom to believe. Ashley didnt even know if she believed his girlfriend was pregnant or not. She knew if she was it wouldve had to been by someone else. Ashley wanted to go back to Monticello already, even if she had to put up with all the namecalling. She was tired of putting up with lies and stupid people. She didnt feel better at this school because everyone was still calling her names and stabbing her in the back, so she didnt see where Monticello was any different. Ashley only had one friend at her new school. She didnt even know if this friend was faithful or not. She hoped she could trust her, but something was telling her she couldnt. Ashley and Chris continued to talk, on the phone that was. He wouldnt talk to her in school. It wasnt until a couple days later she found out just why he wouldnt talk to her in school. All along it had been what she figured, he was telling people he wouldnt never in his life mess with her. Ashley cried the entire weekend that she found out what he was telling people. She didnt know what to do, although she thought she shouldve because she had been through this many times before. Ashley stopped eating and when she did eat something she would gag herself and make it come back up. She

couldnt believe god was being so cruel and making her go through life being rejected by everyone she liked and loved. She decided she was going to starve herself and if she ate she would make it come back up. Ashley read a couple of books that her school therapists had recommended for her. She liked both of them because she could relate to them in so many different ways. She wanted someone to be there for her every time she felt down. Which was almost every five seconds. She wished she could just go to sleep and never wake up, because she knew she didnt have the guts to commit suicide. She had attempted it so many times before but she couldnt do it because she always thought of her family and backed out. Ashley prayed to god every night to not be able to wake up the next morning. That way she wouldnt have to endure the pain she was always feeling. She felt like shed reached her limit again. This time she couldnt even afford to try and take her own life. Ashley started to date a guy at her new school, his name was Chris. Chris was so sweet to her when they werent in school. In school her ignored her terribly. She wished she could just die. Or at least she wished he would realize how much she loved him. He didnt like her and her best friend being together. So she talked to a few people about it and everyone told her that she needed to get rid of him. She couldnt though because she thought he was all she could get and she had strong feelings for him, so she thought. Well the ended up breaking up and their friend Mike was trying his hardest to make Chris see how much Ashley really loved and that she might just be the one for him. He told Chris if he kept treating her like crap another guy was going to sweep her off her feet and treat her like a woman should be treated. Ashley was going to invite Chris to her sweet 16 party. She did and he was supposed to come but his mother called his friends phone and told him he had to go to work or she was going to call his parole officer. Ashley was going through an illness. The doctors couldnt figure it out but she was ill. She couldnt move her neck, she could

barely swallow, she had a constant migraine, and her lower right back and stomach was killing her. The doctors just said it was a virus. Then weeks later the pain in the throat was back and she went back so they decided to send to an ear, nose, and throat doctor. Ashley went to court on February 18th. She shocked herself as to how well she held herself together. Dwayne got 5 years with 4 shaved off. He had to serve a year behind bars and then when he got out he was to be on hard parole. Ashley wasnt happy with what the judge gave her but she knew she couldnt change that. The judge asked Dwayne if he had anything to say and he looked at Ashley and her mother and said he wanted to apologize for what he had did. Everyone knew he didnt mean it because of his tone of voice. He had no feelings while he was saying those words. Ashley has been doing a lot better every since court. Her grades are improving and shes allowing herself to open up more to her family. Ashley still needed a lot of counseling because of the rape and she knows shell never be able to forget it totally. She just hopes to be able to move on with her life and be happy that he got his punishment for what he did to her. Ashley knew she could move on and put everything behind her and learn to love herself again. She also knew that she had to continue to learn how to love others as well. Ashley is still under going counseling for the rape. Ashley hopes all her dreams will come true and maybe she could become a rape counselor to help others whom have been through what she went through. Ashley is still looking for that perfect guy. She is set to graduate in June of 2007. Then she wants to go to college. She hasnt decided which one but shes considering Virginia Tech, Bridgewater, James Madison, and her community college Piedmont. She hopes to have a family that consists of her, a husband, two kids, a girl and a boy, and lots of animals. Lets all wish her the best. GOOD LUCK!

Dedications:
This book goes out to all the teenagers and women in general that have been raped and need something to turn to for the last time. I hope my experience can help you get through this tough ordeal. I also would like to send a thanks out to my mom for always being there for me through the whole mess. I found out who my real best friend was and it was you mother. I love you and cherish you for helping me be so strong even when I wanted to give up on everything. Thanks mom. I love you dearly and hope I can do for you what you have done for me one day. * Ashley Rosson*

A Letter From The Author!

Dear Readers, Hi my name is Ashley Rosson and I was 14 years old when I was rapped. I am 16 now and its 2005. I was rapped in 2003, and it took a long time to bring my rapist to justice. It was hard yes, but with my familys strength and hope I knew I had to pull it together and be tough. I had a long hard road to face with all my problems and I needed to talk about them. I was too stubborn and didnt talk about them and I think that caused me more pain. You need to talk about it if it has happened to you. I know its not easy and you might be ashamed that everyone would think its all your fault, but they wont. They will believe you all the way. If you have just read this book then you know exactly what just happened to me. I told the story as a third party. I couldnt put the words like I was writing them because it felt like I was talking about it and it hurt. I found to ease the pain I could read, write poems, write a book about the situation, talk to a close friend, or even just choose a hobby and do it every time you get down. My hobby was being around and cuddling with my five cats and two dogs. I owe many thanks to my counselors, teachers, my family, my friends, and last but definitely not last my mother for always being there when I needed her. My mom was my best friend through the whole ordeal. I cherish her for that. Maybe you should think what your mom can help you with. Sincerely, Ashley Jean Rosson