What do you want to be when you grow up?

stories about the power of dreams

Of all the stereotypes circulating about the Roma, the one that they do not want to go to school is perhaps the most pervasive. There are no statistics and no arguments, never mind alternative explanations poverty, discrimination, ethnic segregation in schools, all commonly written off as excuses that can convince some people otherwise. But it is not these people we are addressing. The project What do you want to be when you grow up? aims to reach Roma children who have to grow up with such denunciations ringing in their ears, and to encourage these children to disprove them. Secondly, we are also speaking to the people, whether Roma or non-Roma, who are already disproving them to urge them to keep doing so. And, last but not least, were reaching out to those prepared to challenge the clichs that have become received wisdom. For our entire audience, the project What do you want to be when you grow up? brings to the fore the stories of several Roma people who have a job because they went to school who pay taxes and who are neither dirty nor beggars, nor even quaint. We chose to chart the life stories of those Roma who, though many, do not seem to register on the public radar. We interact with them every day and sometimes even trust them with our lives; they are doctors, nurses, lawyers, magistrates, social workers, bus and taxi drivers, firefighters, soldiers, but also journalists, professors, teachers, priests, economists and more. It is these Roma about whom, people often say, with what they see as the best intentions, you wouldnt think they were gypsies, would you? Were talking about those Roma who fail to conform to the stereotypes perpetrated by the media, by ignorance, even by the dic2

tionary, and who are therefore ignored by the righteously indignant. They are the socalled invisible Roma: invisible to most of society and sadly also invisible to the great majority of children from their own ethnic group, whose dreams and life chances are drastically curtailed by what most people are convinced is a Roma childs lot in life. My mum left school at around 15. I asked her why she didnt stay in school longer and she said that it wasnt an option it was about as likely as me working for NASA. (Marian Ursan, sociologist) Through its three components book, film and photographs the project What do you want to be when you grow up? aims to show these children that, with the combined efforts of society, school, family and themselves, such limiting stereotypes can not only be ignored, but also refuted. The message holds equally true for adults, especially for those willing to accept the challenge to question ready-made ideas about the Roma and to make the effort to see the people around them the way they are. Invisible Roma are not the exceptions to the rule which is based on lack of acquaintance and lazy stereotyping and through this project we argue that they can function both as role models for the former, and counterarguments to the prejudices of the latter. Please dont sit this gypsy child next to my child! (Mdlin Mandin, actor)
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To this end, we should add that it is not by chance that most of the projects contributors are not of Roma ethnicity themselves, even though our Roma colleagues are the authors of the conception. Aside from the educational component of our endeavor, we thought it was important to give a mainstream, non-Roma perspective, drawing on the views of people active in the Roma movement, supporters of this movement and the merely curious. Because an important aspect of our project is getting acquainted with the other, we paved the way for this process, of which being confronted with ones own prejudices is a part, to take place. We benefited, especially in terms of the written material, from the freedom granted by life-story interviews. We expanded on this freedom by including our own reactions, both immediate and following reflection, with which we hope any honest reader can occasionally identify. Moreover, we hope that we can convey some of the impact to our readers, who didnt have the privilege to look into the eyes of our interlocutors to see the expression on their faces change as they told their story. In terms of our approach, the life-story interview and the narrative research associated with it depend greatly on the context in which the discussions take place and the subjective reception of the spoken material. This subjectivity undergoes multiple refractions: on the one hand, that of the narrator, who reconstructs his/her life in accordance with their own values and perceptions, but also while seeing him-/herself from the outside, anticipating the expectations of the other, and, on the other hand, the subjectivity of the receiver, necessarily empathetic, open like the diaphragm of a camera set to maximum exposure, who at the end of this exploration comes to realize he/she has learned more not just about others, but also about him-/herself. There is also a third role, one that is often overlooked by similar studies: that of the wider audience. In our project, the audience is very important, because we didnt want to produce a dry academic study of limited use, but a vivid collection of life stories and our responses to them. As a result, we like to think that regard4

less of the audiences current opinions on Roma, they will read about how we got to know the other and perhaps find aspects they recognize. Similarly, we like to think that young people of all ethnicities, to whom these stories are addressed, who are at the age of making life choices, will recognize something in the stories of those depicted and dream more freely of what they want to be when they grow up. At my school the majority of pupils were ethnic Romanians, and I was the only Roma in the class. Children discriminate against you. You learn to discriminate from kindergarten, from primary school At the beginning you dont understand why the other kids look at you and then start to imitate a crow or something I really studied hard; I was among the top five in the class, just like I was in high school and elsewhere. I wasnt just an average child, I was good; I was picked to compete in the Olympiad. I was a very good athlete I was captain of the football and handball teams throughout secondary school. And when they see that a Roma is more intelligent than them and has better results than them, many people are jealous. And you knew it when they were organizing a party and you werent invited, or when they were talking about you, or gossiping and that sort of thing. But if you are a strong person and you get through it all, you have won. (George Lctu, journalist) Despite this optimistic message, we should say that these stories are not entirely happy, even if they end well. They are stories of discrimination and deprivation, hardship, frustrations, fears and sometimes precarious situations. But they are also stories about the power of each of the protagonists to get through it, sometimes, with unimaginable effort. Or stories about the power some of us have to make the human, natural, and normal gestures from which most of us are separated by a wall of prejudice.
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I knew from the second grade that I would study medicine. Unfortunately, my decision was prompted largely by bad experiences of the medical system. I suffered from ill health as a child and was always in and out of hospital. At some point I realized that things were not as they should be, because every time we went to the hospital, my father gave me to my mother who is not a Roma to hold, and she took me inside. I did not experience discrimination directly, but my father must have been so scarred by it in his youth, that when he had children, from the beginning he tried not to expose himself to it, both at school he never came to parents evening and at the doctors, because he didnt want them to find out that we were Roma children in order that we were treated as well as possible (Corina Stanciu, student at the Medicine Faculty) Some of our interviewees remember their encounter with an open-minded teacher, who was able to look beyond the skin color or assumptions about the Roma, and managed to see the person in front of them and support him/her. We should add that, although the sole criterion on which we selected the participants in this project was their educational background, not their negative experiences, we discovered in the process, that the vast majority of them had endured all these things. But they managed to get through it: sometimes through their own efforts, sometimes with the help of a benevolent character, like in fairy tales. Hence the heartening tone of their stories. At high school, I met someone who had a profound effect on me: my Romanian language teacher. He had also been my fathers teacher and when they met again, my father told him a little about our lives. I think it touched him to learn that my mother was sick, that my parents had five sons and that we were always
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struggling to achieve something. He tutored us in grammar, and as a result I got over 9 in the university entrance exam. But apart from this, this teacher taught me to ask a lot of myself, to be polite, to have respect for people. He showed me the joy of reading and in-depth learning. He treated me like an intellectual, although I was only 16 or 17 years old. I would visit this gentlemans home, sit at his table and if he realized I was hungry he would ask his wife to bring me some food. It was a privilege for me to be part of his circle. (Daniel Gang, orthodox priest) The main difficulty that the people whose stories we feature faced was poverty. Some would argue that poverty is not about ethnicity. However, while 23% of the Romanian population lives in poverty, among the Roma the figure is 80%. For many of the commentators who assume a lack of interest among the Roma in learning, it is impossible to imagine what it would be like for a Roma teenager to go to school in his mothers high heels, because not all the children in the family have their own pair of shoes a point made by one of our interviewees. Mum pawned her wedding ring and earrings so I could go to school. I cant forget that. (George Rdulescu, sociologist) It is equally hard to conceive of how motivated a Roma child must be to go to school and try to be the best student for fear of ending up as a brick maker, like his disadvantaged relatives, then going on to win the Romanian Press Clubs Grand Prize for the Print Press:

Every time I didnt get a good mark at school my mum threatened that if I didnt do well in school she would pack me off to make bricks. And I didnt want to make bricks. People from my neighborhood are still making bricks now, and its very tough. Its a very hard and poorly paid job, where you are dependent on others, and they wont pay the price you want Its not reliable money, you are not respected its like youre the lowest in society. (George Lctu, journalist) And how can those who have never experienced such conditions or tried to empathize envisage the lasting effects that would remain for a child whose parents had made such great sacrifices just to make sure his or her basic needs were met? Dad used to take out a loan every autumn to buy things for the children. To support us, Mum used to sell sunflower seeds. She took a sack to the football matches, the factory, wherever she could sell any. Our parents struggled very hard for us to have the basic living conditions... books, shoes; sometimes they would forgo their own needs. Dad would have to wear substandard shoes in winter so we could have winter boots. (Marian Duminic, border guard) Other times, the parents remained behind, and the children determinately followed their own path, even without parental support, thus showing that everything can be overcome if you believe in your dream:

For example, Mum didnt know that in my first year of university, I survived on bread and milk one week, and bread and apples another week; if I ate spam wow! I went with my friend and we bought spam and sat on the bench we had our bench in Cimigiu Park and we sat on the bench in Cimigiu, and we never felt happier than when we were eating spam. (Oana Parnic, social worker) We dont need to add that everyone we talked to was already working while they were at university, even while they were in high school, because the family situation did not allow them to devote themselves entirely to studying. Despite all this, they never gave up. I come from a modest family, which had to deal with some unusual problems: my father had an accident at work he was a crane operator by trade when I was very young, just 6. It was a very tough time for our family, as dad was permanently disabled and could never work again. I dont have great memories from my time at university either, because they were difficult years. I had to work and help my family as my brothers were younger and still in high school. On top of that I had to study for university. (Ion Sandu, history teacher and school inspector) Aside from the financial difficulties and perhaps even harder to bear was the discrimination they endured from childhood, both in wider society and also in school, from their classmates, their classmates parents, even the teacher.

There were two types of kids when I was little, the kind whose parents let them play with me and the other kind whose parents didnt dont play with gypsies, as the saying goes (...) I wondered what was wrong with me. I washed what I should wash, I ate what I should eat, I didnt have nits. Why did they say that about me? (Oana Parnic, social worker)

My maths teacher was supposed to come four times a week but he only came twice, and arrived late. Instead of teaching us maths, he would ask us about our lives. How do you wash, with rain water? Do you herd the goats? And how do you live? Do you live in a tent? And so on. This gentleman came from Bucharest I understood he was the son of a university professor, so what can you do? With the other children the Hungarians and Romanians he had no problem. The discussion was about us, the Roma. He would circle around the class, saying lame this, lame that this was the word that stuck with me, lame. Until then I had never heard this word, nor did I know what it meant. I ask my colleagues: hey, what does it mean? They dont know, because in the countryside we dont know such things. I go home and I ask my mum: Mum, I heard the maths teacher saying lame in class; lame, what does it mean? It means something bad. Okay, something bad, what does the teacher think is bad? I didnt know what he thought was bad, I just didnt get it (Mioara Ganea, primary school teacher) Even knowing that all these stories ended happily and that the protagonists achieved their ambitions and even more, its impossible not to be struck by the outrageous injustices they were subjected to because of the ignorance and
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spite of those around them. On top of that, no child should grow up knowing that to provide them with the bare minimum, their parents had to walk around with holes in their shoes. But since, in these stories, which are traditional in their narrative, good overcomes evil, regardless of its form, the stories remain inspirational. Their purpose is to make up for the lack of young peoples role models and life chances and to give inspiring real-life examples of how they can escape from an often hostile reality. There are children, adolescents and even adults for whom these stories the more powerful because they are true can take the place of the fairy tales that they didnt encounter when they were needed. And even if they did, it is important to remember one simple fact that is often overlooked: its never too late to dream, as long as you give it your all.

These children, who have potential, who feel marginalized, discriminated against, who feel in a way that life is stacked against them, should not despair. When you least expect it, you can find a way out of the situation. The main thing is not to give up and think you have no chance. The chance will come when you least expect it. (George Lctu, journalist)

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Our gratitude goes to all people below, who have generously trusted us with their life stories within this project:

Claudia Bulat, accountant Marian Duminic, border guard Aurelia Dulgheru, student at the Dental Medicine Faculty Mioara Ganea, primary school teacher Daniel Gang, orthodox priest Dezideriu Gergely, jurist Flori Ancua Gheorghe, canto high-school graduate Georgiana Gogor, lawyer Mihaela Ion, Psychology Faculty graduate Gheorghe Iorga, public gardian Elena Iorga, medical nurse George Lctu, journalist Mdlin Mandin, actor Roxana Marin, English high-school teacher Lefter Nicuor, jurist Oana Parnic, social worker George Rdulescu, sociologist worker Sorin Sandu, actor

Corina Stanciu, student at the Medicine Faculty Nicu Ion Stoica, jurist Ioan Stoica, history teacher and school inspector Luis Turcitu, journalism student Marian Ursan, sociologist Daniela Vduva, medical nurse

Our special thanks go to Graldine Areteanu, photographer, to whom we are indebted for having volunteered to produce all the photo materials used in this project, including those in the present brochure. Our special thanks go also to Debbie Stowe, to whom we owe the voluntary translation of this text into English.

This material has been publish in 150 copies as part of the project What do you want to be when you grow up, included in the School Attendance Campaign promoted by UNICEF.
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