Last Victory
ii In Quest of the Last Victory
In Ques t of the
Last Victory
Navin Gulia
Delhi z Chennai z Chandigarh
This book is dedicated to my father
Narain Singh Gulia,
a retired colonel of the Indian Army, whose life too has been a story of
resilience and from whom I have inherited a never-give-up attitude
and to my Nanaji (maternal grandfather)
Rati Ram Ahlawat,
whose sincerity, honesty and dedication to his work and the quality of
helping others has been an inspiration to me always.
Contents
Foreword by Milkha Singh ix
Foreword by Vijaya Ghosh xi
Preface xv
1
Coming into Existence 1
2
Training in the Army 29
3
An Appointment with Destiny 47
4
Arduous Journey Back to Life 64
5
Aiming for the Impossible 81
6
Conquering the Death Trap 100
7
Life Thereafter 125
About the Author 131
Photographs follow pg. 32 and pg. 112
viii In Quest of the Last Victory
Foreword by Milkha Singh
Milkha Singh, the rst Indian Athlete to reach the Olympic nals, is also
independent Indias rst Gold Medalist at the Commonwealth Games.
x In Quest of the Last Victory
Foreword by Vijaya Ghosh
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Coming into Existence 9
Growing Up: Discovering New Interests
In 1980, from this small settlement in the hills, I was shifted to
one of the biggest schools in the national capital, just a mile from
the hospital where I was born. Life will keep bringing me back in the
vicinity of this hospital. This school would initiate many learning
phases in my life. There were over 60 students in my class and there
were a lot of bright students who were closer to the teacher, forming
the centre of activity and attention. It was they who were asked
questions by the teacher. It was they who answered, minded the
class when the teacher wasnt there and carried the bundles of class
notebooks for the teacher to the staffroom.
Overshadowed by the brighter students, I felt like a mediocre
student, more than ever before. As it is, I had difculty in under-
standing. While every teacher told me that my handwriting was
pathetic and at times would ask me to write some sentences a 100
times over as punishment, no one ever told me how I could make
my handwriting good. By myself I could not gure out how to make
my handwriting good. I wanted to be good but no one told me how
I could be good. Besides the regular play and study schedule, a desire
was building up gradually, wanting to be good. I wanted to be good
and likeable. At times it was frustrating to feel like an inferior and
lesser child from all quarters. More often I would use this frustration
to work harder.
Introduction to writing
When I was in the 3rd grade, the teacher asked the class to write a
poem on the colourful Indian festival of Diwali. I was able to write a
poem by myself (I was in the 3rd grade). I was able to put the joy and
colour of the festival in the form of some partly rhyming sentences
10 In Quest of the Last Victory
of equal length. The teacher appreciated my poem. This little appre-
ciation I got, coupled with the fact that I was actually able to write a
poem, encouraged me to write more often. It was very satisfying to
look at a nished poem that I had written.
I am so thankful this happened. It gave me a means to express
myself and for this I received appreciation as well. Even now I keep
returning to writing as a means of expression of my thoughts.
Though, initially it was just in the form of small rhyming poems, the
poems often got me a little of the much needed appreciation from my
teachers and my classmates. Writing gave me the time and space to
get the right words to explain my thoughts. It was an uninterrupted
expression of thoughts. It was not affected by the hesitation that
I would feel in spoken expression of thoughts. I enjoyed it.
The challenge of mathematics
When I was in 4th grade, I failed in the mathematics paper in the
rst exam of the year. I could not understand mathematics at all.
How and why the signs and numbers were behaving the way they
were? A plus becomes a minus and a multiply becomes a divide,
what is up goes down and what is down comes up across the equal
to sign and all that stuff with brackets. It was very unclear. I felt I
could do well if someone explained the basics to me. At this time
my mathematics teacher called me and another classmate of mine
who was weak in studies for extra classes and taught me the basics of
mathematics in her spare time. That helped me get good marks in
the very next exam.
I remember when everyones score in mathematics was being
announced in class, there was applause when my marks were an-
nounced and I walked up to collect my answer sheet. I had not done
Coming into Existence 11
exemplarily well, but then no one expected me to score high marks
after failing the previous exam. Had this teacher not been there
maybe I would have remained eternally weak at mathematics. I wish I
could nd her and thank her but I dont even remember her name.
Love for athletics and sports
In my 4th grade, what started as a small early morning walk for my
pet dog gradually became a morning jog. Thankfully, this duty of
walking the pet dog fell on me after everyone else had said a no to
it. I would take around two and a half kilometres walk and run with
my dog. Thanks to this one activity, I got into the habit of waking up
early and going for a jog. Gradually I took a liking to it. As I grew up
I continued running. I would run in the rain, heat, cold, morning,
afternoon, evening and even at night. I always loved running. Running
made me feel so alive.
Around this time football came into my life. I enjoyed playing
football. It was the easiest thing to do, run after a ball and kick it;
it was fun. And it was the only game in which I could make con-
tact with the ball. Football would, in due course of time, become a
way of life for me. The eleven players from the opponent team trying
to prevent you from reaching a goal is very much like the obstacles
and challenges of life that come in the way of success. To succeed, you
need to beat the toughest of oppositions and enjoy doing so. Football
would induce me with the energy of life. It would teach me to rule
inertiarun, stop, take off, change direction, throw myself and
dribble the ball around obstacles and kick. And I would always carry
this energy in every sphere of life. As I always say, Life is a game
of football. Though I wasnt very good at it in the beginning, my
enthusiasm for it usually found me a place in the team. I could not
dribble well or kick hard, but with my good running I could keep the
opposite team occupied and running.
12 In Quest of the Last Victory
In cricket, I did not have a good beginning. I rarely got to face
a ball and when, by some good chance, I did get an opportunity, I
would get bowled out on the very rst ball. I would get really nervous
on the crease, and the more nervous I was, the easier it would be for
the bowler to bowl me out. When facing a ball, I kept repeating in
my mind, I should not miss it, I should not miss it; yet, I would
invariably miss the ball. Probably for this reason, I was not kept in
the team, and if on rare occasions I was, the rst ball would seal my
fate. At times I wondered how come the bowler never bowled a wide
delivery to me. The other players used to get wide deliveries and such
chances. For me, the very rst ball used to be right on to the stumps
always. I remember both teams ghting over mefor not keeping
me in their teams. I couldnt catch a ball, I couldnt stop it, I couldnt
throw it well and I couldnt hit it. Would things on the cricket eld
ever change for me?
One important aspect which I had noticed in my behaviour during
that period was that when someone said things like this cannot be
done or that this is too difcult, I felt motivated to try out such
tasks. Especially, if the mathematics teacher would say This prob-
lem is too difcult. You can leave it, then I would denitely solve
the problem. Was this behaviour inherent in me or was it somehow
related to my desire to be good or my desire to be appreciated?
Another aspect about my behaviour and thinking was that I wanted
to do a lot of things. I wanted to paint and draw, I wanted to sing
and dance, I wanted to perform on stage, and I wanted to do well in
studies and sports. I wasnt even good at any of these. I only had a
desire to do everything and to do them well.
Tibri Days: Close to Nature
From this big school in the national capital I was shifted to a very
small school in a rural area of Punjab, a small army camp in a small
Coming into Existence 13
village called Tibri. There were about 30 students in my class. I was
no longer a weak student. Studies were no longer a pressure. I knew
what was going on in the class and very rarely needed to do any
additional study when I paid attention in the class. Life was fun, full
of playing around and making mischief. In our spare time we played
and explored the countryside. We would try to catch shes, on
very rare occasions successfully, from the canals and rivers and even
the ponds we used to wade into. We would go for long swimming
sessions in the swimming pool and get stung by yellow wasps.
The yellow wasps shared and dominated most of our places of
activity. Gradually the enmity between us and the yellow wasps grew.
After being stung several times, we started hunting the yellow wasps
with sticks. If the stick hit the ying wasp, it became our prey, else
we became victims of its anger. The yellow wasps, in contrast to bees
(bees sting only if they are hurt), got instigated by anyone who came
close or anyone who passed by and would attack. We had lost count
of how many times we got stung. The wasps and we became sworn
enemies. They were present wherever we played. They were in the
classrooms, corridors, playgrounds and even in the swimming pool.
At any given time, one or two boys from the group had a swollen eye
from a wasp sting. We fought pitched battles with the wasps. We
took the battle to them. We would plan and attack their hideouts
armed with sticks. On one occasion, we killed over 200 wasps in a
single day. Gradually, over a period of time we were able to wrest the
control from the wasps in most areas although some attacks from
lone survivor wasps still took place.
We used to make hideouts in the jungle, devise codes and con-
sider ourselves ace detectives. Bicycling, catching small animals,
snakes, lizards, rodents a group of twelve-year-olds enjoying being
naughty, mischievous and adventurous. I made a couple of good
friends here. In fact, I made friends I would remember and be in
14 In Quest of the Last Victory
touch with for a lifetime. These two years remain among the best
years of my life. A ve-kilometre jog in the morning became a routine
for me. I also took to a lot of swimming and some exercising. Gradually
I started gaining tness and strength. I wasnt tall; this was a dis-
advantage, but gradually I overcame the disadvantage. Well, at least
now I was not among the weakest anymore.
Another thing which gradually boosted my condence and
aggressiveness towards life was my exercising and boxing regimen
for one year. My boxing instructor told me If you want to improve,
work in the direction which is the toughest and also If while exercising
you put in less effort, it means that you are not doing it right. This
daily exercising regimen made me realize what hard work meant and
that aggression was required to do it successfully. I used to enjoy
exhausting myself by running and exercising. Running and running
and watching the road pass below me as I ran was a good feeling! I
just enjoyed running and gradually I was getting better. There were
a lot of my classmates who could run faster than me although they
didnt even practice. At times I wondered how it could be so.
When you have to take decisions, always take the
toughest one.
Cricket, however, still continued to be a Waterloo for me and it was
always embarrassing because cricket was an important and popular
sport. Nearly everyone played cricket. One ne day we were having
a match with our senior class and I had fortunately found a place
in the team. I was the last batsman in. As I walked in swinging my
bat, everyone was sure that they were about to witness the last ball
of the match. I was in a carefree mood. I did not have a reputation
to live up to. I was no longer scared to miss the ball. So, I decided
to swing the bat hard instead of having the usual cautious approach.
The best bowler of the opposite team ran up to throw a very fast ball
Coming into Existence 15
and I swung with all my might. A roar went through my team mates
watching me play as I saw the ball fall over the boundary for a six.
It was exhilarating. Another ball and another mighty heave and
the ball rolled over the boundary line for a four, to roars and cheers
from my team mates. I had hit two boundaries in two balls. Every one,
except the opposition, was enjoying it a lot, laughing and cracking
jokes. The third ball and another heave from me had me caught out
just inside the boundary. The three-ball stay in the centre was fun. It
was invigorating. It was self-discovery. Maybe, it was the beginning
of my discovery of the aggression needed for success. It would be a
lesson I would have to learn many times in my life. The three-ball
stay in the centre did not improve my reputation as a cricketer too
much but it denitely boosted my condence and my fear was gone
substantially. I remember myself as being much more aggressive
whenever I got a chance after that. I will always remember it as a
signicant event in my life. It was a milestone.
Fear of failure is usually the prime reason for failure.