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Abdullah Zaid Khalil Prof. Edmundson Literary Ideals 04.12.10 Erotic Love: The Pursuit of Wholeness Erotic love attracts me far and above the other four soul ideals considered in this course. Admittedly, the lack of an agreed upon sense of what it means to be in love, or what exactly is erotic love, forms the basis for my attraction. In the realm of the self, love, eroticism, and erotic love constitute a popular and captivating subject that individuals pick at from afar. These properties and manifestations of erotic love are routinely mistaken for the idealized erotic love; they are, however, tools used to augments ones life, not an ideal that envelops ones life. An idealized life of love, as with any other life dedicated to one of the other four soul ideals, must transform one to a higher form. But if this life were to be achieved, the mystifying and timeworn question of what is love? must be answered. Platos Symposium is a dialogue among the guests of Agathons dinner party, who agree to each give a speech about love. The consortium accepts, after five eulogies on love, that philosophy is love and the philosopher is one who loves (Plato 8). Although the discussion results in an amalgamation of love and contemplation, erotic love is succinctly captured by Aristophanes, one of the dinner guests. His conception of erotic love is of a soul ideal that, if employed as a way of life, would lead to a unity of being that our course has venerated as the result of a life of soul. It is important to note that the dialogue at Agathons is introduced as one on Lovean ancient and important god, who has been ignored by poets and thinkers (Plato 8). The ethereal being Love serves as a stepping stone into the meat and potatoes of this discussion: the relationship between love and humans. Phaedrus says that Love is the oldest and most honored

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god, and the most helpful to men in gaining virtue. Pausanias says that Love himself is neither honorable nor disgraceful, but that his character depends on his manifestation in our actions. Eryximachus says that Love is everywhere in the universe and that his role is to direct everything that occurs. Aristophanes believes that Love will guide humans back to an original state of wholeness (Plato 26). Agathon says that Love is a beautiful god and praises him for his ability to facilitate togetherness and foster the best traits in people and in gods. Socrates claims that Love is something in between god and man, a mediator between the mortal world and the realm of the gods. The descriptions of the being Love by each speaker mirror the relationship each speaker believes humans have with love. Thus, any definition of erotic love from this text must include both an apt characterization of the personified Love and the parallel description of the love as it relates to humans. With regards to the being Love, Aristophanes portrayal matches the ideal of erotic love discussed in our course: that of something that brings about a transformation into a higher form. The being is not the creator of this form, but the impetus that gets humans to that desirable form a state of wholeness. Celestially, Aristophanes Love serves as an excellent descriptor for an idealized life of erotic love; the celestial bleeds into the human as Aristophanes develops a picture of erotic love1.A life of erotic love ushers in wholeness that, ironically, humans had from the outset of their existence. Aristophanes notes that a physical completeness, through the coming together of two bodies, is paramount to erotic love. Initially, humans were rounded whole with back and sides forming a circle, with a doubling of every appendage and external feature (Plato 22). Arms, legs, genitals, and even the face were all doubled in each of these beings. Physically, these ancestral humans are equated to a perfectly symmetrical geometric shape: the circle.

For the remainder of the paper, only Aristophanes speech on love will be used as a textual backing for answering the question what is love.

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Aristophanes portrait of the original physical state of humans is one of complete physical wholeness that, like the circle, is both proportional and continuous. Interestingly, these humans were gendered in a manner similar to that of the contemporary human: they were either male, female, or a combination of the two termed androgynous. Rolling around the earth, these humans were terrible in their strength and vigor; they had great ambitions to bring down the gods of Olympus (Plato 23). Physical completeness brings about a god-like transcendental intensity that, coupled with an uncountable number of impulses and desires, makes these past humans something otherworldly. Zeus feared them, and consequently split each whole human into two half humans broken parts of a single whole. Strikingly, Aristophanes definition implies that common humans, of both his day and today, are only one part of the original human nature of the past (Plato 22). The nature of humans is that of physical completeness; what was, however, is no more, for humans cannot be fused back together. Sexual intercourse, however, allows humans to rediscover the physical completeness of yore. The separated human parts died off as they were incapable of adjusting to their new situation. Sexual intercourse came in to rescue humanity: if a man met a woman, and entwined himself with her they would reproduce and the human race would be continued. Also, if two males came together, they would at least have the satisfaction of sexual intercourse, and then relax, turn to their work, and think about the other things in their life.(Plato 24). Aristophanes recognizes the biological value of sexual intercourse, which allows for the creation of a new member of the species. Men and women must have sex, if only for the sake of ensuring that there will be a future for humans. Sexual intercourse also provides a measure of pleasure; two men, though not capable of reproducing, still benefit from a sexual encounter. Regardless of its reproductive aspect, sex is pleasurable and nonintrusive with regards to ones life. It allows one to relax, bringing about a physical calm and fulfillment that intensifies every aspect of

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ones life, including banal aspects such as work. Sex tries to make one out of two and to heal the wound that unites us in our common defeat: we can never get back to our original, physically whole nature (Plato 24). Humans can rediscover the physical completeness through sexual intercourse, bringing two individuals together into one couple. But this bringing together, physically, does not heal the wound of separation, it merely tries to heal the wound. Sex, by itself, cannot bring the human parts together into the human whole, it is only a start .Erotic love, as a soul ideal that transforms one into a higher state of being, must involve physical completeness through sex. In order to be considered a soul ideal, erotic love must also have something else in addition to the sexual. A physical connection fosters an all-encompassing, connection between two matching human parts. The humans died from hunger and inactivity because they didnt want to do anything apart from each other upon being separated (Plato 24). Literally every aspect of human life stopped as a function of this separation. They did not eat, denying themselves the nutrients necessary for life to continue, thereby committing a form of delayed suicide. Furthermore, they did not do anything active, becoming the polar opposites of the whole human, whose desiredriven ambition terrified the gods. Sexual intercourse brings two parts together, but, as mentioned above, does not make them whole. A host of sexual experiences with a host of sexual partners brings no one human part any closer to the original, idealized state of wholeness. Because each of us is a matching half of a human being and each of us is looking for his own matching half, there is only one other part roaming this earth that can complete us (Plato 24). Sex is the spur that drives human parts to look for their missing half; the physical satisfaction and completeness of sex bring about an intense urge to find the matching half that makes the part whole. Aristophanes introduces the idea of two people, completely compatible with each other,

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who, in being together, complete each other. Ones matching half can be of ones gender or of the other gender: it depends on the gender of the whole human separated to form each of the parts. The idea of two complementary parts is akin to our contemporary idea of soul mates, who, in addition to having a physical and romantic connection, have some sort of sublime relation to one another. If one were to find their soul mate, he or she would be transformed into a higher form of being that of harmony. One is overwhelmed, to an amazing extent with affection, concern, and love when he (or she) discovers his (or her) soul mate (Plato 25). Discovery of the matching half elicits a reaction of awe, as if it were some miracle that, by virtue of its sheer magnificence, exceeds the realm of possibility. The soul mate transfixes not only the gaze of his or her matching part, but also the longing for that person who brings out, amid all the external showmanship, the internal goodness that one desires to bequeath on another. Love flows forth from soul mate to soul mate, and they live on and on, not a moment apart from each other. Aristophanes unites the idea of wholeness, through finding ones matching half, with the concept of love. The two soul mates are in love, and, as they have found each other, have become one. The pair couldnt say what it is they want from each other although they could very well spend the rest of their lives together (25). In becoming whole, the wants and desires of each soul mate are removed: they have reached the zenith of human nature, and are wholly fulfilled in being with one another. To be in love with ones soul mate, places one firmly in the realm of soul, away from the world that, according to Wordsworth, is too much with us. But the odds of finding ones soul mate are very slim: with over six billion people in the world, finding the soul mate is, mathematically, near impossible. Thus, a life based on the soul ideal of erotic love cannot be equated to a life of in which one is in love with his or her soul

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mate. Aristophanes, having defined the role of the god Love, and having described the happy state of those in love, has provided manifestations of the love. Erotic love is the name for the desire and pursuit of wholeness that is accomplished through the soul mate (26). Firstly, one must want to become whole, recognizing that without his or her soul mate, he or she is incomplete. Secondly, one must lead a life looking for this soul mate, singularly focused on finding the being with which he or she will become one, complete entity. Although someone from without the soul mate is involved in the process of wholeness, erotic love is independent of said being. By virtue of this definition, one can go through an entire life guided by erotic love and not find the soul mate. The transformation into a higher form occurs through an intense drive for the wholeness, regardless of whether said wholeness comes to fruition. This characterization of erotic love agrees with the aforementioned views on physical completeness and the connection it spurs on: sexual intercourse stimulates the search and provides physical gratification, leading to an all-encompassing connection between two human parts. A life of passionate intensity will result if one lives by the ideal of erotic love. There is just something magnetic about the idea of erotic love that draws people, nesting itself into some deep part of their minds, constantly touching them from within. Erotic love makes up a large part of modern day life: it serves as a popular subject for all the forms of media that entertain, it sells various goods, and it keeps individuals talking about it with anyone and everyone who will listen. February 14th Valentines Day exists to both celebrate and remind individuals of their love for erotic love. However, very few people live their lives with erotic love as the basis and essence. It is not feasible, in this day and age of self-serving pragmatism relating to ones place in the world, to focus solely on a soul ideal that provides next to no tangible, worldly benefits of money or power. A pervading commitment to self, as championed

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by Freud, retards erotic loves transformative ability, for to follow this ideal, one would have to sacrifice the great many benefits provided by the realm of self. It is ironic that the manifestations of erotic love play a magnanimous role in the way people live, and yet people abjectly choose to not live up to the virtue of erotic love. Many of lifes stresses, its little lies and feelings of regret, and its multitude of surrogate distractions, such as short romantic flings and substance abuse, would fade into the darkness as erotic love lights lifes way. A movement into the world of the soul, from that of self, would mark a transformation into something higher: a unified state of being. Paramount to a life of erotic love is an active, exciting sexual life. This does not mean that one needs to slut themselves around, constantly looking for partners to help fill the void that the matching part is to fill. Recognition, however, that pleasure in the physical paves the way for unilateral pleasure and hopefully -- lead one to find his or her matching half. The way of life is nothing special or rare; many people, including college students, have active sexual lives that involve many partners. However, the way that this type of life is viewed, and acknowledgement of the ultimate goal, transforms this life from one of transient gratification to one of dreamy satisfaction. Every individual one shares a sexual experience with physically completes them, bringing him or her back to their natural state; thus, every individual one shares a sexual experience with can potentially be the matching half. Nonsexual interactions with said individual would mirror those one has with his or her soul mate, for this person could be that very soul mate. A certain intensity of feeling would flow out of one towards said lover, loosening the grip that erotic love has on that arbitrary point in the back of our minds. If the sexual partner also lives in a state of erotic love, the intentions and mutuality of ideas of the two would stimulate a loving relationship that would augment each lovers life. No issue arises if the two are not soul

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mates: each would recognize this reality, and move on, jumping headfirst back into the search. If the sexual partner lives in the world of self, the two would part (hopefully) sexually satisfied, and would continue on with their lives as each one views as fitting. The idealist would suffer no ill consequences; on the contrary, he or she would benefit from this interaction. It would be a confirmation of their commitment to erotic love, a rediscovery of the physical completeness so necessary to erotic love, and a chance to grace another with ones own human magic. Erotic love amplifies and expands the other four soul ideals discussed in our course. It does not, however, alter ones nature, impelling one to do what he or she would otherwise not do: it merely brings out hidden vigor that has lain dormant for so long that it becomes forgotten. Additionally, erotic love does not bring about a life based on the other four ideals, but makes each ideal a bigger, more noticeable part of ones life. Erotic love serves as the groundwork for a great deal of art, whether song, prose, visual, or a combination of all three. Erotic love stimulated the imaginative capabilities of an uncountable number of artists, from the Romantics to the Victorians to the Modernists, and its inspiration will continue on into the future. Erotic love stimulates an unwavering compassion for all others, both because one recognizes the similar state of incompletion the others have and because one recognizes the benefits of mingling with others. One dedicated to erotic love will act more courageously in this world; often, these actions are regarded as silly, for there is a pervading belief that love makes people do stupid things. The reluctance of accepting these actions is a function of the rarity of said actions and the risky nature of being utterly courageous in the world of self, not an intrinsic ridiculousness of said actions. Erotic love brings about intense contemplation of various ideas with regards to the world, as exemplified by Platos Symposium. Each speaker has clearly thought about love, and willingly provides the fruits of the deep thought erotic love inspired. Though each speaker has a

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different opinion and the state of each ones lifestyle with regards to the ideal of erotic love is unknown, it is clear that the idea of love, not necessarily the love itself, stimulated reflection. As all ideals are brought up in a life of erotic love, the transformation it sparks is one of supreme unity of being. Particular care must be taken to avoid the endemic dangers present in a life of erotic love. Overestimation of the erotic object, as discussed in class, will lay siege to ones life and casts a dark cloud over the ideal of erotic love. A sexual partner, with whom one enjoys an intense experience of an overwhelming sensation of pleasure, must not be attributed with missing qualities nor have the negatives in his or her character overlooked (Freud 33). If this were to be done, than a self-serving burlesque of the sexual partner, not the actual partner, would serve as the reservoir for all of ones bottled up love. This relationship will inexorably lead to tragedy, thoroughly affecting ones life in a negative manner. Disappointment in the caricature one has created impedes ones drive to find the matching part as one becomes timid, untrusting, and selfconscious. They briskly enter the world of self, and raise all the defenses that simplify life; in so doing, they are devolving into a selfish being, and only distance themselves from wholeness. Honesty with oneself, and openness with others, would prevent this pitfall from happening. Viewing sex as a means to achieve a goal, rather than the goal itself, would prevent one from overestimating any erotic object; it would simplify the breaking up of one back into two that could not complete each other. The biggest mistake one who is afraid of loneliness can make is to fall into a romantic, loving relationship with another. During the relationship, insecurities and fears melt into feelings of security and elation. The best, happiest, and energetic version of the person comes out in an awesome wave, and he or she persists in a life of dreamy bliss. But this type of person is

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defenseless against suffering during a loving relationship (Freud 33). Any moment spent apart from the lover is wrought with an intense loneliness that dwarfs the loneliness of not having a lover. Erotic love, and the goal of wholeness, is morphed into a insecurity-driven longing for another; it amounts to nothing more than a self-serving quest for a shape to fill a lack (Faulkner 172). One becomes helplessly unhappy when one loses either the lover or the love, and descends into a state of utter disillusionment and sadness (Freud 33). By attributing ones happiness to anothers presence and latching ones entire being to the other, one effectively prevents erotic loves transformational capability. Finding the soul mate is impossible if ones void is so deep that any person one can find fills said void. Thus, relations with others, and with the world at large, do not carry the intensity that unifies ones being and places one in the realm of soul. The queerly termed self-love, a euphemism for accepting oneself for what one is and what one is not, prevents this pitfall from materializing. In order to be transformed by erotic love, one must recognize who he or she is and be okay with that recognition. Defining erotic love, and mulling over the benefits of a life of erotic love, has in no way augmented my attraction to erotic love as an ideal to live by and for. I am still just as far from the topic, just as curious, just as hopeful, and just as nave as I was before writing this paper or taking this class. That, above all else, is why erotic love is such an attractive soul ideal it can never be comfortably defined, and its benefits can never be accurately ascertained. Though I take great pleasure in each and every manifestation of erotic love, the ideal itself sits squarely in the back of my mind, pushing and pulling at my desires and actions. And yet, an idealized life of erotic love remains at a distance that I do not want to see; it seems so at odds with what I am doing now that I cannot comprehend that type of life, nor myself in said life. Nevertheless, of all the soul ideals we have looked at, erotic love is the only one that I would be willing to take a

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proverbial leap of faith with, continuing my life desiring and pursuing the wholeness I once lost. The idea of the soul mate seems farcical to me, for people are not unchanging collections of emotions and desires, but ever-changing fusions of everything they are, were and will be. Believing in the existence of a matching part that will make me whole , regardless of the adolescent hopefulness, both excites and scares me. The search for a potential matching part, however, greatly excites me; looking for wholeness, rather than attaining wholeness, establishes erotic love as my soul ideal of choice.

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Works Cited Faulkner, William. As I Lay Dying. New York: Vintage International, 1990. Freud, Sigmund. Civilization and Its Discontents. Ed. James Strachy. New York: Norton, 1961. Plato. The Symposium. Ed. Christopher Gill. New York: Penguin, 1999.