COUNSELLING WITH TEENAGERS BY ROBERT A.

BLEES In this book the author has presented a library of pastoral care covering the major topics and problems that most pastors, counselors and parents will face in trying to understand the young adolescent. He has provided a wide understanding about adolescence, the stages of adolescents, the different counseling methods which are apt in dealing with the adolescents and the various problems that they face in regard with their environment, culture, family and peers. In the various chapters mentioned below he has given us a clear understanding about what they go through and how the counselor, minister and parent deal with them and provide the right care and help when they need it the most. In the first chapter the author gives us an understanding about the adolescent. He shows us how the adolescents behavior changes in these years and how patents are unable to cope with these sudden changes. He also gives us an idea about how some of the adolescents express themselves through antisocial behavior. At this stage he is no longer a child but not yet an adult. He shows us the real problem which lies in the shift of attitudes and expectations in the behavioral patterns from childhood to adult hood. He explains how teenagers rebel against their parents and how the church youth programs must be aimed at helping the adolescent through his own self awareness to explore his need for relationships and to realize his own potential within his own culture. In the second chapter the author gives us an understanding about counselling and the different methods of counselling. He helps us understand that no two persons are the same regardless of the environment to which they belong. Here he gives us a list of primary concepts by which the rights of an individual should be recognized and respected. He explains how within the framework of the church program and parent study groups in the church we can help the adolescent learn the laws of human relationships and there by he can be free to develop his own unique personality.

In the third chapter the author shows us how we can use various types of group and youth programs to provide effective counseling for our adolescents. Namely, The Content Oriented Group, The Discussion Group and The Structured Group. He explains how these groups can provide an environment which will make the adolescent comfortable enough to express himself with the understanding, genuineness and respect of the pastor and of the other members of the individual groups. In the fourth chapter we can see how the author has divided this chapter into three parts. In The Early Teens: he explains to us how a young person may be comfortable only within a one on one frame work of counseling. He goes on to explain that this happens with the adolescent is so scared by the environment in which he has been brought up and therefore the usual group process of the church program will be ineffective in helping him. Here the average age of 12 to 14 years find themselves unable to express their feelings so the counselor has to provide an environment in which the counselee is made comfortable enough to express his feelings. In this kind of situation activity relationship will work which will enable the counselee and counselor relax and establish trust and mutual respect thereby helping the counselee express his inner conflicts. In the first part of this chapter which is The Middle Teens: here the author gives us an in-depth understanding about behavior and its affects not only on the adolescent but also how his behavior can have an effect on his parents, peers and everybody around him. He states that the number one health problem is behavioral disorder which could be sociopathic or psychopathic in nature and he goes on to explain what it means and its affects on the adolescent. In the last part of this chapter The Late Teens: the author helps us realize the need of self awareness and the ability of the adolescent to make his or her own choices. He explains how the parents should create an environment for the adolescent in which he can express his in born potentials. The counselor can provide effective counseling and help the adolescent to find his identity and he can do so only if he has enough faith in the teenager by giving him freedom to make his own choices whatever is the outcome. In the next chapter he explains how the young adolescent is often confused and unsure as he attempts to discover what love is, how it can be obtained and expressed. While he is going through these conflicts he is afraid to openly ask for help. In this chapter he also states some of the healthy attitudes about sex and its fundamental 2

concepts. He states the three counseling situations based on which the church can provide awareness and leadership in the area of sex education namely Facilitating communication, Handling anxiety and Developing inner controls In each of these areas the minister can help the adolescent deal with their feelings through open communication in an honest open and more relaxed manner by which they become more aware of their own capacities and thereby becoming emotionally healthy adults. In the sixth chapter the author expresses how parents usually question themselves weather they are good parents and weather they are doing a good job in raising their children in the best possible way. Many parents feel responsible for the behaviors exhibited by their adolescent even though their behavior may be only normal at their age. The behavioral problems faced by adolescents are due to an imbalance in their environment which could be due to many factors and may not be necessarily because of their parents. He goes on to explain that an individual should be responsible for his problems and the minister being aware of the situation should not fall victim to feeling that somebody else is responsible. In order to deal more confidently with teenagers parents have to realize a reality of life that children will inevitably go through periods in their life in which they will hate their parents and since this feeling is normal for the adolescent the pastor should help them understand that their feeling of guilt will not enable them to deal with their child in an effective manner. In the last chapter the author gives us a summary about counseling and adolescence. He also points out the various principles that must be kept in mind while helping the young adolescent move through this stage of his life. This book had helped me better understand the problems that adolescents face and how as a counselor by better understanding their feelings with respect, care, genuineness and a sense of acceptance and through the various methods, techniques and principles I can better equip myself in dealing with the adolescent who at their stage require an understanding in order to function more effectively within their family setup, environment and culture. By helping them have a better understanding about themselves we can equip them to lead a more fulfilling and productive life. This book had also helped me understand not only what the adolescents go through but also what 3

their parents go through while trying to handle the problems they face in regard with their adolescent. We can also better equip their parents to understand them so that with their help and understanding, the adolescent can live a happier and healthier life within his own environment.