Abstract

Group dynamics and several other interpersonal constructs are important in dealing with families in family therapy. There are several theories that explain the family and its functions and describe how the family unit copes with changes within their systems. The Emotional Strategic Theory (EST) is a model that combines important concepts from Bowen's family theory, Hayley's Strategic Approach and Bateson's communication model. The theory emphasizes the importance of communication and communication styles in family systems. It also incorporates the importance of family roles and hierarchy and how these factors are affected by the changes in each family member's life. This paper briefly discusses the core concepts of Emotional Strategic Theory and how it views the family and its dynamics.

Introduction

Communication patterns, like relational patterns, are inadvertently learned and passed down through different generations. How we encode and decode verbal and nonverbal cues have been influenced by how we communicate with our family members. People learn through constant interaction with the other family members that there are behaviors that are accepted or prohibited. As children, individuals learn how to interact with people through their parents. Through trial and error, they learn what type of communication is effective for survival and parental acceptance. Because information is unconsciously picked up, the communication patterns are rarely recognized while the cycle is inherited by the next generation. Although the environment has a significant role in the development of a system, the system also is greatly affected by its internal processes. If the members of the system cannot identify themselves as separate entities, they become more enmeshed and uncertain of how to move forward as the life cycle progresses. Relationship roles that are too complementary make it difficult for members to differentiate and distinguish its uniqueness to his or her role. These relational patterns of role fusion are also unconsciously transmitted to following generations. As an immediate intervention, families who suffer these symptoms should be given immediate solutions that can help them identify the underlying problem, understand their familial patterns and change ineffective communication approaches in working out plausible solutions for the system to develop.

Emotional Strategic Theory combines Bowen's theory of differentiation to familial roles, Bateson's communication theory on family dynamics and Hayley's Strategic approach to family

hierarchy and life cycle changes. Emotional Strategic Theory, or EST, focuses on two things: communication patterns and emotional interdependence. The theory proposes that the communication patterns are transmitted from one generation to the other. The theory looks at conflict as caused by ineffective communication strategies which is an effect of years of the family of origin interacting with its environment. Communication traditions are passed on from the generation to generation to ensure that the system will subsist on its own.

The Emotional Strategic Theory's core concept is effective communication. It proposes that effective communication is an integral part of a family's communal life and affects their relationship patterns. How a parent communicates to a child will greatly affect how the child will perceive the parent and vice versa. As children become accustomed to these patterns, they carry it with them in future interactions and, one day, their families. EST therapists facilitate the session for families to realize the communication patterns that have influenced their relationships. It sees conversations and interactions as laden with emotional signals and cues that are sometimes ignored or unrecognized by the interlocutors.

As a family, the members exchange ideas and thoughts through verbal or nonverbal messages. During conflict, these messages become convoluted and may worsen the system's dilemma because of the nature of the messages sent and the speakers approach. The nature of messages that are sent can be classified as either Clear or Ambiguous. Clear messages have purpose, direction and perceptible while ambiguous messages are the exact opposite. When individuals receive ambiguous messages they always second guess what is being communicated, whether it is negative or positive. Evidently, the ambiguous messages can usually cause anxiety

and conflict in the system. Based on Heffner's communication styles model, there are three types of approach in communication: Proactive, Confrontational and Passive. Using the proactive approach, the speaker elaborates, anticipates difficulties, recognizes challenges and allows room for improvement. Speakers with a confrontational approach would directly address conflicts and are generally aggressive to get what they want. The confrontational approach puts conflict channels out in the open and forces people to face the situation without concrete solutions in mind. Speakers who avoid anxiety-inducing situations and are prone to comply with anything that has been suggested have a passive approach to problems. These are the people who would most likely push someone to do something about it rather than take the first step forward. EST identifies four patterns of communication: Clear Proactive; Clear Confrontational; Ambiguous Proactive; Ambiguous Confrontational; Ambiguous Passive. A family then can develop depending on its dominant pattern of communication.

Aside from communication, Emotional Strategic Theory acknowledges the importance of family structures. It asserts that families with ambiguous structures tend to meet problems as they move from one lifecycle to the other (Carr, 2006). When the structure is clear, members can interact with more flexibility since their interactions cease to be complementary or symmetrical therefore the communication process can develop as the family move on to the next stage. Following Strategic Family Therapy, Emotional Strategic Theory asserts that directing the family to a more congruent and structured hierarchy is one of the key elements in helping families cope with life cycle transitions. This also helps in differentiating the relationship roles of 'You' and 'I' to create a clearer system of interaction and responsibilities.

The Family The family is an inter-relational system that carries a generation of inherited communication and relational patterns. It is a multigenerational outcome of its continuous interactions with the environment. The family relies on interaction to survive. It needs to know what is around it for the system to adapt accordingly and at the same time it needs to have a concrete internal structure for the system to keep itself intact in the face of unexpected situations that may threaten the system. Following the concept of the feedback loop, the system receives the stimulus from the environment and decides whether the information is useful for its survival or not. It is, therefore, a system that moves towards change and adaptation as they progress to the different life stages. It is a system that prides itself of its history and fortitude.

On the other hand, the family seeks to become a self-sustaining system that will no longer be affected by environmental processes. The family, as much as it aims to develop, is also resistant to the changes influenced by environmental change. It receives and sifts through the environmental feedback as well as denies all forms of influence and maintain status quo to prevent the system from becoming agitated. It forces the system to be static and resist any outside influence from perturbing its internal process. It then permits internal recursive patterns to escalate to neurotic patterns that can cause the family to seek help. Symptoms of the neurotic and stymied family may become manifest in one member or in the whole family.

Inconsistent family structures, undifferentiated roles and ineffective communication patterns are the underlying causes of the problem which lead to conflict. These are problems that have been passed on from one system to the other. They are called family heirlooms, problems
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that have been passed on from one generation to the next to seemingly help the family keep together. They are classified into two: Communication and Structure. Communication heirlooms are unrecognized communication patterns that help worsen new conflict as each new system faces challenges. Structured heirlooms refer to the unstructured family system where, more of than not, parents are overpowered by their children. Regardless of which heirloom it is, both contribute to the negative relationship patterns. These heirlooms form a bigger problem once it is reintroduced to the system. A series of events will lead to Entrapment where the family forces every member to become and remain the same to lessen the anxiety.

When children are uncertain of the family structure, they start to ask who is on top of the food chain. As they grow up, the fight for control becomes worse. Similarly, when roles are undifferentiated children will grow up with misconceived notions of familial responsibility. Take for example a child that grew up to take care of his siblings. As his siblings grow older, the parents will no longer be considered the head of the family. Instead, the other members will consider them a liability to the family and, in extreme cases, are blotted out from the system.

When problems crop up, systems would tend to handle it on its own. Since the system becomes closed to outside influences, it cannot recognize that the solutions it has made in the attempt to confront the problem are ineffective and are further aggravated by its communication patterns and approaches. The system closes itself from the environment and tries to fix the problems on its own. When the system's solutions are unsuccessful, the family tries other learned processes to attempt to solve the problem. If the cause can't be uncovered, the system identifies symptoms and attempts to solve it. Over time, the system realizes that the problem helps keep it

together and continues to allow it to revolve as long it serves its purpose. Once the pressure builds up within the system, it will eventually self-destruct.

Families sometimes don't notice that how they communicate, or the absence of which, matters a lot in solving its problems and improving their relationship patterns. When members of the family are in conflict, how the members react to it and how they communicate to each other is very important. The nature of their messages and each member's approach in delivering these messages can improve or worsen the problem. The more they interact and the more symmetrical their interactions are, the worse it becomes. A pattern of blame, incrimination and justification strengthen the already negative relationship between members. Most of the time the family would look for help but would cover it up by presenting a symptom. Because the system is proud, it will choose a scapegoat to exonerate it from its inability to solve the problem. These are the people who are often identified as the reason why the family is burdened or teetering to break. Healthy families have members that are proactive communicators. They talk about their concerns as a system and make the members understand the course of action that has been taken. They also create solutions as a system, asking each member to contribute to the decision making. It does not always rely on what has already been learned from its family of origin. The messages that they send to each other are clear and purposeful. The system realizes that they are an outcome of the previous system but they are not the same system. Similarly, the members understand that they are part of the system but they do not exist as parts of the system alone. They are future parents that will help enhance their inherited system by creating their own families.

Overview of Therapeutic Process

Since the Emotional Strategic Theory sees ineffective communication patterns as an main underlying reason for families to be unable to solve their problems, one of the goals of the Assessment Phase is to uncover the dominant patterns. Although hierarchical structures are also important in understanding the system's dynamics, it is a secondary concern to the process because it more often than not complements the patterns of communication. In therapy, the theory has a collaborative and directive approach; collaborative in creating goals because it recognizes the clients' capabilities and directive in leading the clients away from the patterns that they are used to.

Clients would usually approach the therapists with a problem or a scapegoat and the therapist, in the form of an interview, would map out dominant patterns in the family relationship and check out any observable family heirlooms. Following the tradition of Strategic Family Therapy, the therapist shows the clients their relationship and communication patterns in relevance to the client's problem. They also discuss each member's underlying needs for a concrete goal to be set. Therapeutic goals are then discussed by the therapist and the clients. After the goals have been set, the therapist creates a treatment plan that he shares with his clients. Assessments would take about three to five days depending on how cooperative the family is.

During the Middle Phase, the therapist slowly works on each goal employing techniques that will allow them to improve their communication lines and talk more freely about the problem. They are encouraged to admit ownership on the decisions and actions they make and

moving on. Blame is slowly pushed out of the system's thought and replaced with accountability. The goal of the Middle Phase is not only to ensure that the goals are met but to also stop any negative communication patterns from persisting. They are made to realize that patterns are not indispensible they only serve as a guide when a similar problem arises and they are modifiable.

Once accountability of actions and communication has been set and the goals have been met, the therapist and the clients look back on the treatment plan and review it. The therapist and clients talk about techniques they have learned and assess how well they did in the course of the therapeutic relationship. Therapists direct clients to create their own treatment plan once a similar problem arises. The therapist encourages them to modify existing problem solving patterns by creating action plans as a family. The therapist follows up on the clients' progress with less supervision, ultimately leading to the termination of the therapeutic relationship.

Techniques

The Emotional Strategic Theory uses the following techniques: The Genogram is a useful assessment tool that can help families understand transmitted relationship patterns and familial hierarchies. The Communication Map is similar to the genogram but it highlights the communication style of each member and the communication pattern each on has in a specific problem. It is a supplement to the genogram in psycho-educating clients. Paraphrasing is a useful tool to help clients understand what is being said by the other. The client is tasked to listen to what the other person is saying and relay what the person
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had just said in his own understanding. The initial speaker is tasked to explain his thoughts until he and the client can reach a point of agreement. Nonverbal Omission is a technique when clients are asked to say what they want to say without any non-verbal cues. The therapist discourages them to move their facial muscles and body and just say what they want to say as a plain statement of fact. They are asked to start with an 'I' statement to express how they feel as something that is simply fact. In Verbal Omission, the therapist discourages clients to use words to express what they feel. They are encouraged to use gestures to explain their feelings. Both Verbal and Nonverbal Omission techniques are designed to exercise control. In Coaching and Feedback, clients are coached on how to create Positive Scripts when delivering messages to the other person. As part of the feedback process, the receiver of the message tells the sender of the message if he or she said it in a positive manner. In Positive Scripting, the therapist discourages the clients to use negative words such as 'no, can't and never.' The therapist coaches them to create statements that have a way forward. From "I can't do it" to "I am meeting challenges with the task." This will create a different impression of the task and influence the way of thinking. When initiating Breaking Even, therapist lets one family member speak and explain what his bottom line is while the other listens and vice versa. Once reasons have been laid out, the partners will discuss how they will adjust to the situation and agree on a work around. Owning Statements require clients to share accountability for what they said and did. In the therapy session, when clients start blaming each other, either directly or indirectly, they are asked to change the 'you' or 'him or her, she or he' statement into an 'I' statement.

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Taking turns require the clients to remain quiet and listen to what the other is saying as the therapist encourages them to discuss their thoughts and experiences. This is to give family members a glimpse of what one member understands and is seeing.

Mirroring is similar to paraphrasing only that you change what the speaker said to something more positive and workable. For example, someone says "I am incompetent" the other will mirror the statement and say "You need to learn more skills."

References

Anonymous. (1997-2010). Jay Hayley: The Strategic Therapist. Retrieved March 10, 2010, from Jay Hayley on Family Therapy: http://www.jay-haley-ontherapy.com/html/strategic_therapy.html Anonymous. (2010). The Bowen Theory. Retrieved March 10, 2010, from The Bowen Center: http://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/theory.html Arreola, R. A., & Theall, M. (2005-2010). Communication Styles. Retrieved March 8, 2010, from The Meta-Profession Project: http://www.cedanet.com/meta/communication_styles.htm Becvar, D. S., & Becvar, R. J. (1988). Family Therapy: A Systematic Integration. USA: Allyn and Bacon, Inc. Borchers, T. (1999). Relational Patterns. Retrieved March 8, 2010, from Interpersonal Communication: http://www.abacon.com/commstudies/interpersonal/inpatterns.html Carr, A. (2006). Family Therapy: Concepts, Process and Practice. SSQ, England: John Wiley& Sons Ltd.
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Dale V. Wayman, P. D. (2005). Lecture Documents. Retrieved March 11, 2010, from Building Lasting Relationships: www.drwayman.com/documents Emile. (2010). Styles of Communication. Retrieved March 8, 2010, from Emile's Webenglish: http://www.angelfire.com/az2/webenglish/commstyles.html SAMSHA. (1998). Communication Patterns of Family Members. Retrieved March 8, 2010, from Parenting IS Prevention: http://www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov/publications/prevent/parenting/r_communications.html Vardigan, B. (1999-2010). Lifestyle and Wellness. Retrieved March 8, 2010, from A Healthy Me!: http://www.ahealthyme.com/topic/verbalabuse

Sample Case

The Leighton's family descended from a long line of doctors and lawyers. The father, William J. Leighton, is the head doctor of a prestigious hospital and is the only child from his family; the mother, Sabrina Kaye Leighton is the only child of a well known lawyer in town. She also studied Law before she got married. The Leightons have two male offspring: the eldest, Shawn, is a painter with nomadic tendencies and the youngest, William II or Willy, is a troubled high school student. Based on the Genogram that was drafted, only Shawn has a different profession from everyone else. He has married a model and was living in Geneva. He was not part of the therapeutic session.

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The family is seemingly supportive of their sons' career choices. The family contacts an EST therapist to help them understand their problem. During the initial phase, the parents told the therapist that there was open communication at home. The parents said that they always talk about their children's plans and help them achieve their goals. They laid out their main concern as their youngest son who is skipping school, going out with shady people and coming home late. They even theorized that the youngest son was jealous of his older brother because of the attention that was given to him. The mother defends that they talked to him and made him understand that they were just trying to help his brother. After a series of interviews, the therapist found out that the main problem wasn't really Willy but it was how their parents communicated their wishes and aspirations to their children. They wanted to keep the family tradition going and unconsciously placed pressure on their children to take courses related to medicine or law. Whenever the issue of college came up, tension would always be apparent between the parents since they have different opinions. After the communication map was drafted, it was found out that the dominant communication pattern was Ambiguous Proactive while the sub-pattern was Ambiguous Passive. The assessment also showed that the mother tended to be the more vocal of the two parents whereas the father allowed her to do what she wanted. It has been established that the Father serves as the bridge between Mother and Son.

The identified goal of the therapeutic session was for clients to send clear messages, to listen and understand them and to create way forward strategies to help the family come to an agreement in the decisions. In the previous session, the therapist assigned each family member to interact in the house without using words (Verbal Omission). The script below is the outcome of the ninth session.

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Therapist: (directing to the family) How was your week? Mother: It was very difficult. We were too used to talking to each other that saying nothing at all was difficult. Therapist: (addressing to everyone) Does everyone feel the same way? The family murmur softly. Mother: I'm sure everyone felt the same way, right? (looks at her kids and husband) Father: Right. Therapist: (addresses father) How was it for you? What did you feel? Father: It was silent. A little awkward but it was something that I liked. Even if we had difficulty expressing ourselves, we were 'talking' more than we did when we actually talked. If you understand what I'm talking about. Therapist: I understand. (Faces the family) Did you feel that you communicated more when you didn't talk? Willy: I did. I liked it better because I could understand what everyone wanted to do for once. Therapist: Does that mean that you've never understood what everyone else wanted before? Willy (nods) Mother: Willy, sweetie, don't say that. We always made sure you understood what we wanted you to do. Therapist: Mrs. Leighton, please excuse me for cutting you off, but let's go back to one of the goals on listening. One of the things that we have discussed in our previous meeting is to listen carefully to what others are saying and understanding their point of view. Now, let's allow Willy to talk about his experience this week.

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Mother: All right. Willy: Well, that was it really. I sort of had fun. For once mom and dad weren't complaining about me playing videos. They'd just tap on the screen and tell me that it's time for bed. That was enough for me. I mean, why'd they have to keep on telling me what to do when I already know what to do. I don't mind being reminded but if they'd keep telling me what to do every single time I do something then I'd feel like a kid. Mother: But you're our son! Willy looks down and doesn't say anything. Therapist: What do you have to say to that, Willy? Willy: I'm not a kid. Therapist: Can you direct that to your mother. Look at her and say "I'm a grown up." Willy: (looks at mom) Mom, I'm a grown up. Mother stays silent Therapist: (talks to the mom): Now, Mrs. Leighton. What do you want to say to Willy? Mother is silent for a couple of moments. Therapist: Mrs. Leighton? Is there anything you want to tell Willy? Mother starts crying. Father places an arm around her. Therapist waits for the mother to calm down and offers her a box of tissue when she does. Mother: (looks at Willy) Willy, I can never see you as a grown up. For me, you will always be my son. It's hard for me to admit it but yes, you are grown up. I don't want to let go of that. Willy: Mom, I'm grown up now. I can make my own decisions. I don't run to you when I have problems. You told me before that I have to be responsible, right? I haven't forgotten that. Therapist: (looks at father): What do you think about the situation?

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Father: I'm seeing that my son knows what he wants to do and that Sabrina is having a hard time letting go. Therapist: Can you tell Willy and Sabrina what you think? Father: (facing Willy) Son, you are now responsible for your decisions. (turns to mother) Sabrina, we need to let go. Mother starts crying again. Therapist waits for her to calm down. When the mother calms down, the therapist proceeds: Therapist: Today, we have established a more honest communication line. Willy has expressed that he is grown up and is capable of making his own decisions and Mr. and Mrs. Leighton have discovered that they need to let go of the child in Willy. As homework for Mr. and Mrs. Leighton, start talking to Willy like how you would an adult. Mr. and Mrs. Leighton, start giving him responsibilities in the house that Mr. Leighton is used to doing, like washing the car, mowing the lawn any daily tasks that Mr. Leighton does at home. Next week, we will discuss your experiences and thoughts on this exercise. (sets next appointment with clients)

In the script above, the therapist utilized taking turns to allow the passive Willy to speak up, coaching and feedback to allow the Father to gain control of the situation and reinstate himself as the head of the family. The therapist aimed to make the mother listen to allow her to realize what she has been saying.

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