The Guardian G2 05.11.2012

Monday 05.11.
12
Cycling is a sport that levels people

Bradley Wiggins Exclusive extract from his autobiography
Plus! From the Rolling Stones to The Nutcracker: arts critics pick the Christmas highlights
12A
Shortcuts
Ahmadinejad an Netanyahu as im d agin by Alison Jackso ed n to promote the Ch annel 4 documentary
War studies
What would happen if Israel bombed Iran?
rans President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is moaning that missile strikes havent hit Israel hard enough. The Americans say they support Israels military attack on Iran the previous day, but wont actively engage in this war. And the Israelis are counting their countrys civilian deaths and wondering if they should launch a second strike on Iranian nuclear facilities, to nish the job. This is all part of a war simulation game staged by an Israeli thinktank last month, to which a British lm crew were given sole access. The result is a game-time enactment of what would happen if Israel does attack Iran. For some time, Israeli prime minister Binyamin Netanyahu has been escalating talk of a military strike, to prevent Iran from building its rst nuclear weapon. The prospect of war, and recent disaster drills to prepare for it, have terried his own people, and the rest of the world. Israeli military and intelligence chiefs say a strike is a bad idea, while the Obama administration has told Israel to back o and wait for sanctions to work. If Israel hit Irans nuclear facilities, would Hezbollah, Irans allies in Lebanon, join in to retaliate? Would America step in to help its best friend in the Middle East? This lmed simulation shows a group of Israeli ex-spooks, former politicians and military ocials split into teams to role-play the consequences. I have not seen the full lm, but was in the cutting room for a couple of days helping with translation and the scenes I saw were compelling. Team Israel, taking stock of Iranian missile at-
tacks on civilian targets, makes the operational assumption that the situation wont spiral totally out of control. Is that a reasonable prediction, or totally delusional? The documentary has an interview with an Iranian former nuclear negotiator and foreign policy adviser, who returns the simulated salvo by saying that Israel has grossly underestimated Irans capacity for retaliation. Iran, he says, would assume American complicity in any Israeli attack and take aim at US targets in the Middle East.
When the US staged their own simulation of this same situation, in March, it predicted that an Israeli strike would lead to a wider regional war. Now, the UK is thinking about putting warplanes in the Persian Gulf as tensions rise. And American military commanders have warned Israel that an attack on Iran could stunt US action, by cutting o key logistics support from Gulf countries that host US bases. Watching scenes from Nuclear War Games, the bit that struck
me most was a clip in which the Israeli role-players, having achieved their attack goals, are talking about a UN resolution wondering if they should launch a nal strike before ceasere, and whether the US can be persuaded to make the resolution state regret rather than condemnation over Israels actions. Listening in, you cant help feeling that this conversation has played out before in real wars; in real life. Rachel Shabi Dispatches: Nuclear War Games is on Channel 4 tonight at 8pm.
Shorter cuts
2 The Guardian 05.11.12
If lost
Obamas response to Hurricane Sandy was praised but why was he wearing a jacket with his name on?
Mitts Brit
Who is Mitt Romneys British female singer of choice? No hes not an Adele man, its Florence Welch. Her cover of You Got the Love has been blaring out at campaign rallies. Oh dear.
Crime
The greatest gangsters moll of them all
COVER PHOTOGRAPH SCOTT MITCHELL; PHOTOGRAPHS CHANNEL 4; JUSTIN HILL; REX FEATURES
angsters molls appear mainly in ction these days, but a new memoir reminds us of a genuine real-life queen of the underworld. Born in 1925, Gypsy Hill so called because her mums Gypsy friend decided that she must be of Romany stock was the common-law wife of gangster Billy Hill, the so-called boss of the underworld in the 1950s. A striking beauty, Gyp attracted Hills attention by belting three women with a high heel after she had seen them mocking a deaf mute in the street. When Hill masterminded the famous 1952 Eastcastle Street robbery of 230,000 from a Post Oce van, Gyp insisted on being one of the getaway drivers and they counted out the money in a suite at the Dorchester. In 1955, the couple tried to move to Australia but, by the time they reached New Zealand via the Pacic, it was clear Australia would not admit them. It makes you sick when you think we have
come this far, Gyp told the Daily Express. If only we had known sooner, we could have got o earlier in Tahiti. The actor Diana Dors became a pal and, in Cannes, Gyp met Picasso and Aristotle Onassis, who made a pass at her, according to Billy Hills son, Justin, author of Billy Hill, Gyp and Me. Justin says of his father that there was no shortage of girls auditioning to be his moll but Gyp was his criminal muse. (Justin is Hills son by a dancer, Diana Harris, who killed herself when he was a baby; Gypsy became his adoptive mum.) Gyp spent time in prison awaiting trial for smashing a table-lamp into the face of a man who made a mocking reference to her fur coat look at her, in her rabbit in a nightclub in Paddington in 1957. But was later cleared after witnesses suered mysterious memory losses. She moved to Tangier, where Hill had a club called Churchills, kept a chimpanzee as a pet and eventually moved back to Britain and retired from the fray. Justin remembers her enjoying a spli while watching Widows, the 1980s ITV series about gangsters wives who carry out a robbery. Gypsy died in 2004. Surely a lm of her life must be on the horizon. Duncan Campbell
Pass notes No 3,275 Javier Bardem

Age: 43 Appearance: Murderous, weird-nosed, attractive. Is this that Spanish actor whos the villain in the new Bond lm? Yes. Funny blond hair, but everyone still fancies him. Thats right. Almost everybody. Name one exception! Well, I think Rafael Hernando, a senior deputy in Spains governing Peoples party, has probably gone o him now. More of a brunet man, is he? Perhaps. Mainly I think he doesnt like what Bardem had to say about the governments employment law reforms. Imagine this chair is somebody whos interested while I go make a cup of tea. OK. So the Spanish newspaper El Pais has published an interview with Bardem in which he says that the countrys high unemployment rate suits the government so that labour conditions can be made terrible, adding that it, wants to pay o the countrys debt with the pencils and notebooks of schoolchildren. Im back. Did I miss anything? Bardem got cross with Spains government. Hernando got cross back on Twitter. Arguing can be a veiled form of irtation, you know. In this case, I dont think it is. You have to be a big villain, and not a lm one, Hernando wrote, to say that high unemployment suits the government. Nice. Do you see what he did there? Yes. He made a joke about Bardem being a villain in real life, which is ironic because I said I get it. Is he a villain in real life? No. Hes a nice lefty actor and married to Pnlope Cruz. Blimey! That couple must be about Spains fourth-largest export! They do all right. But employment means a lot to Bardem because his mother is also an actor, and she raised him on her own despite spending long periods out of work. Is that why he wants to kill Judi Dench? Again, in real life, I dont think he does. Do say: We meet again, Mr Bond. I must say I admire your pension and annual-leave entitlements. Dont say: No Mr Bond! I expect you to do an unpaid o placement! u pa d work pl
IN NUMBERS
29%
Of British households (7.6m) consist of one person, an increase of more than a million in 16 years
Source: Oce for National Statistics
Gypsy Hill in Tangier in 1965
Rum deal
A new Haiti travel guide dispels cliches of voodoo and Haitian herbs over birdwatching and the e healing properties of f local rum.
In remembrance
A rediscovered musical composition osition ge written by A Clockwork Orange ng author Anthony Burgess during the second world war will be r performed at the Imperial War Museum North in Manchester on Remembrance Day.
One to watch
Marion Cotillard is impressive in Rust and Bone. Surely a second Best Actress Oscar beckons?
05.11.12 The Guardian 3
Alok Jha
It used to be the opposite of entertaining, but now a new army of geeks, comedians and academics is putting the fun back into science
ichael Faradays lectures at Londons Royal Institution in the early 19th century were so popular that the carriages dropping people o to see him used to choke Albemarle Street in Mayfair as a result, the street was designated the rst one-way road in London. Faraday was a master communicator who thrilled audiences with the latest discoveries in chemistry and electricity. He was as much a great scientist as a brilliant entertainer. Somewhere over the course of the 20th century, though, the idea that entertainment could be a vehicle for science faded away, even as the fruits of scientic endeavour became more important and relevant to peoples lives. As scientists became more professional after the second world war, the discipline grew up and lost its fun. For those who werent experts, and didnt have time to learn the often complex basics, it also became dauntingly dicult. Science was too serious, too important, to make entertaining. For anyone who cares that science should be a central part of our culture, this is clearly a disastrous conclusion. Fortunately for us, an emerging army of geeks, comedians and scientists is bringing back the Faraday-style spectacle. At the head of this re-emergence of science as entertainment is the comedian Robin Ince his standup shows have incorporated elements of science for a decade but he has gained more attention as the driving force behind the Uncaged Monkeys show, which features Simon Singh, Ben Goldacre, Brian Cox and a string of celebrity guests and academic scientists. A spin-o from Inces hugely successful Radio 4 show, the Innite Monkey Cage, the live show treats audiences to o songs and laughs, interspersed with mini-lectures ures on cosmology and evidence-based medicine. The last tour, which ended earlier this year, played to thousands of people every night at theatres across the country. The Uncaged Monkeys are the kings of the scene ene and Ince has paved the way for a rapidly growing ng ecosystem of scientic entertainment. In the Festival of the Spoken Nerd, comedians Helen Arney and Matt Parker and broadcaster Steve Mould use tools of the scientic lecture including ing PowerPoint and overhead projectors to comic c eect, adding songs about physicists falling in (and out) of love and setting the audience mathhematical puzzles for the intermission. What started as a few people in a room above a pub just a couple of years ago has transformed into a sell-out UK tour. That attitude that science is a good source of ideas for entertainment and discussion (even n if youre not a scientist) will reach its biggest audiences yet this week as the science-savvy comedian Dara Briain unveils his new show
The Infinite Monkey Show treats its audience to songs and laughs and minilectures on cosmology
Brian Cox: a the contributor to aged successful Unc Monkey tours
for BBC2, Science Club. The rst episode features celebrated geneticist Professor Steve Jones on sex interspersed with laughs, demonstrations and debate. Much of the audience for Ince, Briain and others are those who come with an interest in science. But the science-as-entertainment crowd are moving beyond their typical audiences: Guerilla Science started as volunteers giving talks at a music festival in 2008. Four years later, they work with the Wellcome Trust, National Portrait Gallery and Secret Cinema to embed science into interactive shows in unexpected places. The goal of founders Zoe Cormier and Jennifer Wong is to move people using scientic ideas, with the same emotional colour they might get from theatre or art. At the more high-brow end is the success story of the Wellcome Collection in London, a place for the incurably curious that opened ve years ago to collide medicine and art. Its founders hoped it might attract 100,00 visitors a year; last year, almost half a million people wandered through the exhibitions, which have centred on everything from dirt to identity and events such as watching and talking to surgeons during a heart operation. Last week, the venue announced 17m plans to expand its galleries and the scope of its exhibitions. The audiences that might go to see Uncaged Monkeys or the Festival of the Spoken Nerd overlap with another, more grassroots, movement around the country. There are Skeptics in the Pub meetings in Sheeld, Cardi, Nottingham, Bristol, Edinburgh, Winchester and scores of other towns volunteers organise guest lectures in back rooms on science or philosophy or whatever else oats their rational boat. And it is not always about entertainment: it was at a Skeptics in the Pub enter meeting in Holborn in 2008 that Simon Singhs meeti campaign to ght the British Chiropractic Associcamp ations charge of libel took o. With the support and ation momentum provided by UK skeptics, the Libel mome Reform campaign has had a big impact, with comRefor mitment to update the UKs outdated libel laws mitm appeared in the manifestoes of all three major appea political parties during the 2010 general election. pol A few years ago, scientists would moan about an error they had seen on TV or when a ab minister made some incompetent statement m about science. Nowadays, they act. A sociala media-enabled army of rationalists has m stepped up to ght a scourge of anti-vaxxers, s homeopaths, politicians, companies and, h frankly, anyone else who misuses evidence. f Ince plans to continue using science in his shows: his next tour will be based around the sh work of Richard Feynman and Charles Darwin. wor Does he worry he will turn o a crowd who want to jus be entertained? The public are constantly just underestimated, he says. I do believe that if you under give people interesting things, they will rise to it. p
PHOTOGRAPH KATHERINE ROSE FOR THE GUARDIAN
Winning the 2012 Tour de France catapulted Bradley Wiggins to global fame Photograph: Scott Mitchell
I had not guessed how big the whole thing would be

In this exclusive extract from his autobiography, Bradley Wiggins recalls the rollercoaster ride of the Olympics that came hot on the heels of his Tour de France triumph
he moment when I walked in through the front door of the house, having just won the Tour de France, was emotional, and strange. It was the point when my wife Cath and I had to start dealing with it, and we were both a little stressed out. I was simultaneously trying to come to terms with the fact Id just won the Tour de France and trying to get myself organised with only ve days before the Olympic road race. There were things to sort out: have I got a bike here yet? Where was the one that had been dropped o last week? Id won the Tour de France, but I felt as if I would be the last person to take it on board; it reminded me a little of how I felt when I won the Olympic pursuit for the rst time in 2004. Its almost a kind of disbelief that this is happening; its little things such as seeing the front page of lEquipe with my picture on it in the yellow jersey. You dont realise its you on there. And there are messages like the one I had from Sir Chris Hoy, who said he thought the Tour win was the greatest achievement ever in British sport: its humbling to hear praise of that kind. The biggest accolade is respect from your peers, people I look up to. Id insisted on going home. It was what I had wanted and looked forward to throughout the Tour, but in spite of all the thought we had put into it, being back in Lancashire wasnt
TOMORROW IN G2
Lance Armstrong, doping and why I would never take drugs. It feels like Lance has dumped on the sport
quite what I expected. The very next day people started knocking on the door. That Monday morning, there were cars parked for half a mile down the road. We woke up to nd a mass of press and other people outside, so it felt as if we were under siege. On my rst day home, we went to Wigan. The photographers were all taking pictures of us as we drove out, which felt very strange: what were they all doing? What do they want? It was all bizarre, coming back four weeks later to what Id left. All of a sudden a lot had changed. I had underestimated quite how big the whole thing would be. By the evening I was saying, Ive got to go out on my bike for an hour, so I went for a quick spin, but at rst I couldnt get through the mass of people, and I had to give the journalists a few minutes. There was a line of cars following me as I rode, people taking photographs, people wanting me to sign things some of them piles of pictures that they were going to sell on eBay, I suspect and the next day, when I went out to the Co-op for a pint of milk and a loaf of bread, I was mobbed. The same thing happened when I took my son Ben to a rugby league training day. Cycling is a sport that levels people out. When you go on a club run, if you puncture you repair it yourself. You dont get someone else to do it for you. I still wash my own bike when Im at home and it gets covered in shit I did that the Monday after the Tour. I spent
When we got to the stadium, I asked: Im not going to get booed or something, am I?
several years getting laughed at and called names when I was a kid wearing Lycra, which wasnt the thing to do in the 1990s. As cyclists, we become famous in our own little world, but we dont usually become celebrities. It all takes a bit of getting used to. During the week before the Olympics, Dave Brailsford from British Cycling rang me from the track teams holding camp in Newport and said: Look, they want you to ring the bell at the Olympic opening ceremony. Its massive; you know you cant say no to it. I would, he told me, be on every television channel around the world. It was kept very, very quiet: no one else knew other than Dave and head coach Shane Sutton. Even now, looking back, I havent quite gured out how big it was. That whole period was very surreal. It was one high after another; winning that time trial in Chartres, the next day the Champs-Elyses, drinking champagne in the Ritz, private-jetting home back to Lancashire, then down to Surrey in
Celebrating at Hampton Court Palace after winning the Olympic mens time trial
a helicopter. We had a taste of how big it all was when we went out training as a team before the Olympic road race, with people who were just going about their daily business saying: Bloody hell, there go Great Britain. The support was massive in the villages around the team hotel, and on Box Hill there were people everywhere looking for a glimpse of us and all the others. You could feel the buzz. That Friday evening we drove across to east London; just being in the Olympic Village was incredible. I love that atmosphere, the feeling you get from being in the village with all the other athletes; I wasnt going to get it at this Games, as we were staying in Surrey, so this was my only chance to experience it. The minute I got inside, there were people coming up to me, athletes asking to have their photo taken with me. Dave came with me; Id arranged to meet Chris Hoy to have dinner in there. I hugged Chris and we had our meal together, with all kinds of people looking at us. Chris was carrying the ag that night for Great Britain in the opening ceremony parade, and after he went o to join the team, Dave and I walked over to the stadium. So I stood backstage, wearing the yellow jersey that they gave me, with these things going over my ears and into my earholes; I was wired up in the way that bands are on arena tours, so they can hear the backing tracks. Someone said: OK, Bradley, on in two seconds. They opened the door: Go. I walked to the front of the stage, stopped at the cross marked on the oor; waved to the crowd. All I saw was a wall of ashing lights, because everyone was taking photos and I couldnt hear anything except the type of sound you have when you have earplugs in when you are going to sleep; all I could register was the sound of my breathing in my ears in the middle of this wall of ashlights: All right, Bradley, turn around, go up to the bell, stand at the bell, and wait for your command to ring it. I rang the bell, walked down the steps and out of the stadium. Someone threw a jacket over me and I was whisked straight out; within two minutes I was in a private car with a police escort all round me, and we were going through the streets of London, uniformed motorcyclists stopping trac all the way. I was on stage at two minutes past nine, and by half past I was back in the hotel at Hyde Park Corner with the Great Britain boys. As soon as I walked into the hotel, Rod who is team manager for GB road teams as well as working at Team Sky said to me: Right, weve got a meeting in 10 minutes, so in no
On the web To win a signed copy of Bradley Wiggins: My Time, go to guardian.co.uk/bradleycompetition
time I was changed into team kit to talk through the next day and work out how we were going to do everything we could to win the Olympic road race for Mark Cavendish. Then I had to go and shave my legs, pin my numbers on and go through all the pre-race routine for the next morning. Stu that would have seemed completely bizarre to me, that you cant even dream about, was becoming the norm and it was all happening in a blur: nipping in and out of the stadium to be the opener at the Greatest Show on Earth and driving back with an escort that made me feel as if I was the president of the United States. Maybe in 20 years time Ill look back and tell my grandchildren: Oh yeah, the Olympic Games in London, I was there, I did the thing with the bell. It was fantastic to be asked. It was denitely special to play a part in some way. But I had no idea what public opinion was about what Id done at the Tour. I hadnt been anywhere in public other than the Co-op in the village. I hadnt stood on a station platform, or been through an airport, or gone anywhere in the world outside the Tour, my home and the team hotel. Id been in a bubble. That might explain what happened when I was waiting to go out into the stadium to ring the bell. When we got there, the volunteer at the entrance said: Its quite good in that stadium, you know. So I asked: Im not going to get booed or something, am I? Trust me, he said. No, you wont get booed. Right after that we were doing the road race, with the whole country expecting us to produce a gold medal in the rst event of the Games. The minute that was done, my thoughts had to turn to the time trial. That time trial has to rate as my greatest Olympic moment, more than the pursuit nal win against Brad McGee in Athens, and maybe even more than the team pursuit world record in the nal in Beijing along with Geraint Thomas, Ed Clancy and Paul Manning. To win that gold medal in that setting, in London, in front of Hampton Court, with all the history going back to Henry VIII; it was about as British as you can get. The time trial lasted an hour, whereas the track races Id done in the previous Olympics had been only four minutes long. There was so much time to savour it. Every athlete has a dening year during their career. Sir Chris Hoys was 2008, when he won his three gold medals at Beijing, and 2012 is probably mine. I remember when I was a kid Chris
PHOTOGRAPHS AFP/GETTY IMAGES; CORBIS
Wearing the yellow jersey during the Tour de France in July; ringing the bell to start the 2012 London Olympics
Boardman talking about his hour record in Manchester in 1996; he reckoned nothing would ever top the feeling of going round that track to the roar of the crowd for one whole hour. For the best part of an hour that Wednesday in Surrey, I was able to savour that feeling, of being at my best, with a massive crowd deafening me with their support. I am not saying it is the end of my career by any means, but nothing is ever going to top that. And thats a poignant feeling. I dont know if it was better than the Tour de France. I still havent come to terms with the fact that I have won the Tour, so at this stage I dont know. In my eyes, the Tour will always be phenomenal because of what the team did for me: the whole race, all 22 days of it, was about the team putting me in a position to win the Tour de France. After the Tour, I struggled to work out quite how to thank them. I didnt speak to any of the riders who helped me win the Tour, other than Cav, for a fair while, because I didnt know what to say to them. I didnt want to send them some cheesy email saying, Guys, I cant thank you enough, because I dont think that was quite what was needed. Its got to come from the heart and not just in an email. What I do know is that I will never forget it. During the Games, there was speculation about whether I might end up with a knighthood in the same way that Sir Chris Hoy did after his great year. People asked me about it, so I did wonder whether I would accept it if it were to come my way. The point is that I can never see myself being given a title like Sir Bradley Wiggins. I have never considered myself above anybody else. I have always struggled with hierarchy and status. I dont know what it is maybe just my upbringing, the area Im from but Im quite happy to play second ddle. I understand my physical capabilities sometimes give me status but, when its all done and dusted, I struggle with that kind of thing. Its not what happens to kids from Kilburn. My late grandad George was the father gure, the role model in my young life, from the day when my mother Linda and I moved in to my nan and grandads at in Kilburn after my father Gary had walked out on us. After the Games, I remember saying to my nan: So if I get oered a knighthood or whatever, what do you reckon George would make of it if I turned it down? She came back, quick as a ash: He would never have spoken to you again. So if it comes my way, I just might have to take it. Bradley Wiggins 2012.
THE DETAILS
Extracted from Bradley Wiggins: My Time, published by Yellow Jersey Press on 8 November. To order your copy for 14 (rrp 20) with free UK p&p visit guardianbookshop. co.uk or call 0330 333 6846. Bradley Wiggins a Year in Yellow, is on Sky Atlantic HD on Wednesday 21 November at 10pm.
Health
oor sleep as anyone who suers from it knows can make life a misery. And it is taking its toll on the nations health. According to the recently published Great British Sleep Survey, more than 51% of us now struggle to get a good nights sleep, with women three times more likely to be aected than men. Evidence collected from 20,000plus adults between March 2010 and this June shows that 93% of insomniacs report low energy levels and 83% complain of mood swings. Some 77% nd it hard to concentrate, 64% say they are less productive at work, and 55% report relationship diculties. Even worse, persistent poor sleep can increase the risk of developing conditions including diabetes, depression, high blood pressure and strokes. Research at the University of British Columbia suggests every hour of sleep lost at night may cost us one IQ point the following day. And it is often a long-term issue: a quarter of people with insomnia have suered from it for more than 10 years. In Britain, overwhelmingly, we treat poor sleep with medication: the NHS spent a staggering 50m on sleeping pills last year, with 15.3m prescriptions dispensed across England, Scotland and Wales (up 17% in three years). But many pills have undesirable side-eects and the surveys ndings suggest they do not solve long-term sleep problems: 42% of people who have taken them on and o have continued to have poor sleep for more than a decade. So how can we do something about poor sleep without pills? Most people focus rst on what Colin Espie, professor of clinical psychology and director of the University of Glasgow Sleep Centre, calls sleep hygiene: our pre-bed routine, and the physical environment in which we try to sleep. Espie believes these factors account for a mere 10% of sleep problems: most people with insomnia have better sleep hygiene than easy sleepers. But most sleep experts concur that the following do make a dierence. Light. A dark room is important to a good sleep. Also try to avoid blue light less than two hours before bed: research by the Lighting Research Centre at the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in New York State suggests light from laptop, tablet and smartphone screens tricks us into thinking it is daytime and keeps us alert, although this has been disputed. Bedrooms should be a comfortable temperature (around 18C), quiet and well-ventilated, with comfortable beds and pillows
repaid by getting up and going to bed at your normal times rather than disrupting your body clock. Save sleep for bedtime: naps are recommended only if you are too exhausted to function. Sleep hygiene alone, however, will not determine whether or not we sleep well. Ninety per cent of the battle is in the mind, which is why talking therapies and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) are coming to be seen as perhaps the most useful solution. Espie helped launch Sleepio, a pioneering online CBT programme that has won praise from the medical press, including the Lancet and the peer-reviewed journal Sleep. In a full clinical trial, it helped 75% of people with long-term poor sleep. So, get your head right, and you will usually sleep. But how? These are Espies top tips:
Sleep easy
Lack of sleep can blight lives and ruin health, and more than half of us suer from it. Jon Henley reports on the latest advice for getting a good night
Food, drink, exercise. Anything that stimulates the system such as caeine (although some experimental studies show a cup of coee may lengthen the time taken to drop o by just three minutes), alcohol, chocolate, tobacco, a heavy meal or strenuous exercise will make it harder to get to sleep. Indigestible foods are obviously best avoided; carbohydrates can promote serotonin, which aids sleep. Aim for a regular, balanced diet and no late-night excess. Twenty minutes a day of exercise will make a big dierence to your sleep, but avoid it just before bed. Sleep debt. A weekend lie-in or afternoon snooze can do more harm than good. According to research at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Centre, sleep debt is best
Pillow talk
1. Recognise that sleep is not a lifestyle choice, it is a biological inevitability. It is very, very powerful, and we need to get it working for us: a person not sleeping well has rst and foremost to allow sleep to do its work. Sleep is a process of letting go. 2. Sleeps achilles heel, however, is our world. Most sleep problems are psychological obstacles that we put in sleeps way. Like all things we should do automatically, when we deliberately try to do them we screw up. Adopt a relaxed, condent approach to sleep, not a neurotic, panic-stricken one. Recognise theres a right and a wrong kind of eort. Your role model is the careless sleeper. 3. Go to sleep only when you feel sleepy and, if anything, shorten the time you try to sleep: A lot of people put good sleep beyond the achievable simply because they are so worried about not sleeping. Their sleep becomes frayed, even more broken. If I try to read a book in bed, its never very successful because I go to bed when Im ready to sleep. Its counter-intuitive, but a shorter sleep often means a better quality of sleep. 4. Put the day to bed long before putting yourself to bed. A racing mind what happened today, whats on tomorrow, what will the future hold? is a huge obstacle to sleep. So take time before bed: go through the day, think about tomorrow, put things in their boxes, make a list. Set your mind at rest. 5. Learn to value relaxation, and if necessary learn specic relaxation techniques. Above all, Dont try too hard. But, of course, for some that is easier said than done.
Adopt a relaxed approach to sleep, not a neurotic, panicstricken one
PHOTOGRAPH TONY STONE
Dr Dillners dilemma Should I take sh oil supplements?

Sexual Healing
Pamela Stephenson Connolly
Most people dont eat much sh, unless it is smothered in batter and comes with chips. The National Diet Nutrition survey found that, on average, we eat less than the recommended one portion a week of oily sh (salmon, tuna, trout), the type with the most health benet. But the advantages of eating oily sh, thought to be due to their omega-3 fatty acids, are by no means conclusive. A review of the evidence in 2009 by the Cochrane Collaboration, which reviews results of all relevant goodquality studies, found no clear evidence that omega-3 fats reduce the incidence of strokes, heart attacks and cancers in either the general population or those at risk of heart problems. Last week, the BMJ published research that found eating oily sh two to four times a week may reduce your risk of a stroke by 6%. But if you dont like sh, sh oil supplements are no substitute. The study (which added up results from the largest number of studies on sh oils and strokes so far), showed they had no benet. So is this enough to convince you to eat more oily sh? Or are you more likely to avoid strokes and heart attacks through regular exercise, eating a healthy (low-fat, high-bre) diet, not smoking and sticking to recommended levels of alcohol consumption?
The solution
The study showed that those who ate sh ve times a week had a 12% reduction in stroke risk. However, the authors say their research cant show for sure that this is linked to eating
sh. People who eat more sh may be healthier anyway, and it is hard for studies to take into account all the ways in which they may be dierent from other people for example, they may also eat less meat and exercise more. The researchers are clear, however, that supplements dont do as good a job as whole foods, something other studies have found too. Oily sh also contains vitamins D and B and amino acids, which might be needed to work with the omega-3 fatty acids to reduce the risk of stroke. You may need all the constituents of a food for it to be good for you. Fish oil has excited many research groups who have looked at its benets in reducing asthma symptoms (based on the hypothesis that Inuits eat lots of oily sh and dont get asthma), relieving Crohns disease, stopping weight loss in people with cancer and improving the symptoms of schizophrenia. None of the studies found that sh oil works, although most tested supplements instead of omega-3 fatty acids in whole foods. Since we eat more red meat than sh at it wouldnt hurt to redress the balance. he The mechanism by which it is meant to s reduce strokes and heart attacks is acks unclear, but omega-3 fatty acids are cids thought to reduce triglyceride de fats, reduce inammation and nd blood clotting. We cant make e our own omega-3 fatty acids so a bit more oily sh, rather than supplements, would probably be good for most of us.
WRITE TO US
Send us your own problem for Sexual Healing, by emailing private.lives@ guardian.co.uk or writing to Private Lives, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU
A traumatic childhood memory was triggered at the end of a very stressful year. When I was a child, my sister and I used to masturbate with each other. I have found this memory troubling and cant forget about it. I have been having panic attacks, broken up with a boyfriend with whom I was living, and have not been able to think about sex in the same way. I also feel responsible as I was the elder child and instigated it. I cant talk to anyone about it as it is such a taboo. I have started seeing a counsellor, but Im worried that people will judge me for being a bad person. Is this something that I should talk to my sister about? Im worried about rocking the boat and bringing this up after 15 years. It sounds as if you have not yet shared this in therapy, but I urge you to trust your counsellor so you can receive the help you need. This kind of sibling childhood sexuality is pretty common, so try to be kind to yourself. You were acting on normative desires you did not understand how to appropriately manage at the time. I understand that this recovered memory is causing you considerable distress, but it does not have to aect your adult sexuality for ever. Consider addressing it with your sister too. Perhaps you could both discuss it in a joint therapy session. It is very likely that she will ultimately welcome the chance to resolve her own feelings about it.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist specialising in sexual disorders
Private lives
A problem shared I wish bad things on my ex and his partner. How do I move on from this?
My marriage of 15 years fell apart two years ago and Im nding it hard to get over the hurt, anger and betrayal that I feel. My husband started a new relationship before he left me and our seven-year-old daughter. I obsess about him and his new partner, wishing terrible things would happen to them. Ive chosen not to date anyone, so when Im not with my child or at work, I spend a lot of my time alone, isolated and sad. What can I do to help overcome my grief and feel free? new partner are emotions that are actually hurting you. If you could begin to focus some of your emotional energy on good things for you and your daughter, bit by bit, you may begin to feel happier. This is not to say that I am suggesting you forgive and forget. Rather that you dont become a double victim hurt by his behaviour and then sentenced to punishment by your reaction to it. CrowBlack
Hideously Diverse Brita Culls at the Equ in ality Commission
Counselling could help Two years is nothing

You do not need to forgive your ex and his partner. By thinking about them, you are allowing them to have power over you and your life. At some stage, you have to draw a line under all of this and forgive yourself for the things you regret about the relationship, for perceived failures, for what you may consider to be naivete. After a 15-year relationship, two years is nothing. Take as much time as you need. apatheticzealot If youre feeling stuck in a place of grief and anger, unable to get over it by yourself, then counselling will probably help. I would not actively seek to date at the moment, if I were you, as it sounds as if you are at a point where you need to focus on yourself for a while. However, dont be closed o to the prospect of a relationship if something comes along. You have waited two years, so I dont think youre the sort of person to jump into the arms of the rst man who comes along. But make sure that any relationship is giving you what you want for yourself, not just validation or a reaction against your ex-husband. thegirlfrommarz
It takes time become single again

I once heard a wise woman on the radio say that during a divorce or separation, one cannot go from being a couple to being single overnight. It took time for her to rediscover herself as a person, after having lived as a couple for so long. Perhaps one does so physically, but mentally it takes a long time to make the transition. gotet
Set a date to move on

Be practical about this. Set a date, next week perhaps, to call an end to your mental torture. Draw a line under your suering; realise it is self-inicted. On your set day, do something positive: set up an account with a dating site, get your hair done, buy a new outt, prepare a special meal, buy your daughter a gift. You want to move on, you know you can, now prove yourself right. Speakingforme
I am a 20-year-old female student and have never been kissed. I have liked many guys and have no diculty irting with them, but when they try to touch me it makes me feel uncomfortable. I know I am young, and many people will say I should hold on for the right person to come along, but I am tired of waiting and want to be proactive. How can I feel more relaxed around men and nally nd someone that I can have a relationship with?
IM 20 AND HAVE NEVER BEEN KISSED. HOW CAN I FEEL MORE RELAXED AROUND MEN?
Next week
Try to focus on good things

What strikes me is that the feelings of anger and the desire that bad things happen to your ex-husband and his
Email us at private.lives@guardian.co.uk or write to Private Lives, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU
trange goings on at the Equality and Human Rights Commission. Older leaders being denounced; pictures turned to the wall; Year Zero. What do we know about the body charged with ensuring we handle dierence fairly? Well, we know there is a new chair, crossbench peer Baroness ONeill, and we know she is seizing the opportunity to freshen up her team of commissioners. We know that some have been automatically reappointed but that at least two have had their photos turned to the wall: Simon Woolley, the only black commissioner, who was praised by the commission itself just a few months ago as an outstanding leader; and Lady Meral Hussein-Ece, Liberal Democrat peer and vice-chair of the parliamentary allparty group on race and community. Presently she is the only Muslim commissioner. How were they culled after three years of service during a dicult time in the commissions history? Neither will tell, but these things will out. Having been requested to reapply by the coalition government, both apparently received emails from a private headhunter thanking them for their application, and telling them they were unsuccessful. So whats going on? Well, maybe it is indeed time for some fresh faces though both were brought in as new brooms but we also know the commission is facing startling cuts in its budget and plans to drastically slim its workforce. We know that both Woolley and Hussein-Ece raised concerns about impact the impa that would have on the commissions work. Woolley, we hear, commiss already had alrea been making a fuss about the lack of diversity among the upper echelons echelo of the commission itself. With Wit both out of the way, the creation of a new normal for our equalicommission may be easier to ties co achieve. achiev New commissioners will be appointed; some black, some Muslim, appoint for we are told there is much diversity new on the ne shortlist. But will they raise against the downsizing? a voice a And An heres the fun bit. How much muc do ministers know about the cackhanded way the changes being handled? Not much, are b apparently. But they are, we are appa starting to take an interest. For told, s ocials ocials can make a mess, and they often do, but come the restorm, the minister always gets the blame. Muir Hugh Mu
Film
By Peter Bradshaw
Life of Pi Yann Martels Life of Pi was one of the most commercially successful novels ever to win the Booker prize; now it has been turned into a keenly anticipated movie by Ang Lee. Pi Patel is the son of a zookeeper who decides to transport the family, and their entire menagerie, to Canada by sea. But a shipwreck leaves him and assorted animals on a single lifeboat, ghting for survival. Early lm festival sightings have been hugely enthusiastic. 20 December. Boxing Day An intriguing and cerebral work from Bernard Rose, the maker of Mr Nice. This is the third of his Tolstoy adaptations, following Ivans xtc and The Kreutzer Sonata, all starring Danny (son of John) Huston. The source is the 1895 story Master and Man, and it follows a landowner and a peasant lost in snowy Colorado the day after Christmas. 21 December.
Below, classic shocker Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? is being re-released; right, Life of Pi
Seven Psychopaths As a followup to his hit In Bruges, Martin McDonagh has now created a bizarre postmodern LA thriller about a screenwriter (Colin Farrell) who somehow gets involved with the kidnapping of a tough guys precious shih-tzu dog, and has to confront the unstable individuals of the title, played by Tom Waits, Woody Harrelson and others. 7 December. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Some Hobbit fans are bemused by Peter Jacksons desire to create a lengthy epic out of what is quite a
modestly sized book. But if anyone can do it, Jackson can. Martin Freeman is on the verge of global fame in the role of Bilbo Baggins, who goes o with some dwarfs on a mighty quest to reclaim lost treasure from the dragon Smaug. Benedict Cumberbatch is the necromancer and Elijah Wood is Legolas. 13 December. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? In this re-released classic from 1962, Joan Crawford and Bette Davis are still big; its the psychological thrillers that got small. They are Blanche and Baby Jane, ageing
The Hobbit battles a dragon, the Nutcracker goes Weimar, and Simon Russell Beale turns
Winter w
Theatre & family shows

By Michael Billington and Lyn Gardner
Merrily We Roll Along Stephen Sondheims musical famously opped in 1982, but has since been revived to great acclaim, and is here directed by Maria Friedman. Starting at a swish showbiz party, it travels back in time to show its now-disillusioned characters as student idealists. A show that gets better with every viewing. Menier Chocolate Factory, London (020-7378 1713), 16 November to 23 February. My Fair Lady Dominic West returns to his native Sheeld to play Professor Higgins in the eternally popular Lerner and Loewe musical. It may be more sentimental than its source material, Shaws Pygmalion, but its refreshingly literate and tuneful. Carly Bawden is Eliza Doolittle. Crucible, Sheeld (0114249 6000), 12 December to 26 January. Privates on Parade Peter Nicholss 1977 hit, kicking o Michael Grandages ve-play West End season, follows an army troupe as it tours variety shows around Malaya in the late 1940s. The real treat is the prospect of stately Simon Russell Beale as the camp acting captain who specialises in impersonations of Marlene Dietrich, Carmen Miranda and Vera Lynn. Noel Coward, London (0844 482 5141), 1 December to 2 March. Hansel and Gretel A new take on the eerie Grimm fairytale about two children lost in the woods and inexorably drawn towards a house made of sweets. From the team behind The Cat in the Hat stage show. Suitable
for seven to 10-year-olds. Cottesloe, London SE1 (020-7452 3000), from 7 December to 26 January. Rats Tales Melly Still, the director who had big hits with Coram Boy and Beasts and Beauties, collaborates with poet Carol Ann Duy to bring folk tales from around the world to the stage using live action, puppetry, music and animation. Royal Exchange, Manchester (0161-833 9833), 29 November to 12 January. The Mouse and His Child The RSC should score a Christmas bullseye with this staging of Russell Hobans heartbreaking story about two clockwork mice, joined at the hand. Discarded by children on Christmas Day, they decide to return to the toyshop they call home. Royal Shakespeare theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon (0844 800 1110), 17 November to 12 January. Peter Pan Yes, there will be adventure, pirates and a boy who never grew up, but there is also likely to be an emphasis on the absence of mothers and the role of Wendy. Sally Cookson, whose Cinderella at the Tobacco Factory last year was a thing of beauty, directs this version of the JM Barrie classic. Bristol Old Vic (0117-987 7877), 26 November to 19 January. 59 Minutes to Save Christmas The elves are throwing things, the Christmas trees are behaving oddly, and the presents have gone missing. Will Christmas be cancelled? And who is behind it all? The brilliant Slung Low take families on an interactive journey around the Barbican. A great a te at e eat alternative to panto. Barbican, n London EC2 (0845 120 5 7511), 15 December to r 6 January.
Above, Rats Tales by Carol Ann Duy; below, Gollum in The Hobbit
sisters who live together in a hell of faded fame and bitter sibling rivalry. As their goading, sniping and mind games get worse, something has to give. 14 December.
PHOTOGRAPH ALLSTAR/CINETEXT
Hue and Cry A beguilingly innocent and gloriously high-spirited picture from 1946, made at the beginning of Ealings golden age. Harry Fowler leads a bunch of feisty kids foiling the plans of robbers in Londons East End. Part of the BFIs two-month Ealing season. 8, 16, 29 December at BFI Southbank, London SE1. Details: b.org.uk
into Vera Lynn our critics pick their must-see Christmas shows ws
armers
Visual art
By Adrian Searle and Jonathan Jones
William Kentridge: I Am Not Me, the Horse Is Not Mine This brilliant draughtsman from South Africa has brought animation into modern art: his video installation, sited in Tate Moderns great new space the Tanks, is a meditation on the dreams and failures of the Russian revolution. Tate Modern, London SE1, 11 November to 20 January. The First Cut Cutting up paper has been part of modern art ever since Picasso stuck newsprint scraps to his paintings and Matisse made merry with the scissors. Here, 31 artists
use it to create imaginative, bizarre and fantastical forms. Manchester Art Gallery, until 27 January. Hollywood Costume This glimpse inside the moviemaking machine is a must-see for all the family. Not only does Indiana Joness Nazi-battling outt make an appearance, the show also features dresses worn in Some Like It Hot and Breakfast at Tianys. There are even costumes from, er, Fight Club. Is that a bloodstain? V&A, London SW7, until 27 January. Alex Katz: Give Me Tomorrow Sizzling with sophistication, the paintings of Alex Katz show him to be a deceptive and uplifting artist. His work from the 1950s to today focuses on friends, family, light and colour. Theyre like looking at daydreams.
Turner Contemporary, Margate, until 13 January. Jonas Mekas This poet, artist and lm-maker is a pioneer of the avant garde, basing his art on his own life and those around him. His often joyous incidental movies are a kind of diary. At 90, the Lithuanian-born American recently released a lm a day for a whole year. Serpentine Gallery, London W2, 5 December to 20 January. Jane and Louise Wilson A haunting exhibition of sculpture, photography and video taking in everything from the Ukrainian man who gave his life to lm Chernobyl in meltdown to the strange architecture of Orford Ness in Suolk, where Britains nuclear weapons were tested. Whitworth Art Gallery, Manchester, until 27 January.
Clockwise from below, Alex Katzs Give Me Tomorrow; Steps, who feature in the Hit Factory Live; Mick Jagger of the 375-a-ticket Rolling Stones
For the fallen When Thomas Keneally came across the diaries of Australian nurses who served in the rst world war, he knew he had found a novel. Hear him talk about The Daughters of Mars in our books podcast
guardian.co.uk/books
Pop
By Caspar Llewellyn Smith
The Rolling Stones The cheapest tickets (95) sold out in three minutes and the rest (375) within another four. So, lets just hope that the band will follow their two warmup gigs in Paris with an appearance at a cosy British venue. According to Ronnie Wood, look out for an outt called the Cockroaches. O2, London, 25 and 29 November. London Community Gospel Choir The rst concert gospel choir in Britain celebrates its 30th anniversary: sing gloria in excelsis! The Stables, Milton Keynes (01908 280800), 23 November. Then touring. Details: lcgc.org.uk The xx The band didnt change much with their second album, but have honed their sound to the smoothness of a jet stone, and will sound all the better as the nights grow longer. Brighton Dome (01273 709709), 6 December. Then touring. Details: thexx.info Orbital As long as theres a place on Radio 2 for Dave Pearce, there will be a place for an Orbital tour. But the brothers Hartnoll arent trading in rave nostalgia: their rst album in eight years, Wonky, is one of 2012s best. Warehouse Project, Manchester (0161-832 1111), 1 December. Then touring. Details: orbitalocial.com Hit Factory live Inclement summer weather forced the postponement of this celebration of Pete Watermans glory years. Check out these names: Steps, Rick Astley, Bananarama, Pepsi & Shirlie, Sonia, Sinitta, Hazell Dean, 2 Unlimited, Brother Beyond, Princess, Lonnie Gordon. Dead or Alive and Jason Donovan are on the bill, and its even possible that Kylie might turn up. O2, London SE10, 21 December
PHOTOGRAPHS VAGA, NEW YORK; DAVE J HOGAN/GETTY
Dance
By Judith Mackrell
Scottish Ballet: The Nutcracker In contrast to the seasonal pink and tinsel Nutcrackers, this version by Ashley Page is set in the Weimar Republic. More German expressionist than Biedermeier, its traditional magic is infused with 1920s glamour. Theatre Royal, Glasgow (0844 871 7673), 829 December. Then touring. Details: scottishballet.co.uk Matthew Bournes Sleeping Beauty The latest collaboration between the choreographer and designer Lez Brotherston is this retelling of the Tchaikovsky classic. Reaching from the 19th century to the present day, its a gothic fantasy that addresses some of the p puzzles in the original fairytale. Theatre Royal, N Norwich (01603 630000), 20-24 Novembe . Then touring. Details: 20-24 November new-adventures.net new-adventur Birmingham Royal Ballet: Birmingh Cinderella Cinde David Davi Bintleys setting of the Prokoev classic is nothing if not dramatic, n especially in the opening e act a which sees Cinders languishing in a kitchen la convincing bleakness and of con misery before being elevated to b magical destiny. Birmingher mag Hippodrome (0844 338 ham Hip 21 5000), 2 November to December. 9 Decem Royal Ballet Mixed Programme B The centrepiece is Jerome Robcen
Below, The Wind in the Willows; right, rehearsals for Matthew Bournes gothic Sleeping Beauty p g y
bins rarely seen In the Night, with its subtly nuanced portraits of the erotic and the romantic but the evening opens with the colourful exoticism of Fokines Firebird and closes with the regal crackle of Raymonda, act three. Royal Opera House, London WC2 (0207304 4000), 22 December to 11 January. The Wind in the Willows Will Tucketts staging of the Kenneth Grahame classic has rightfully become a Christmas staple. Text by Andrew Motion and a great cast including Will Kemp, Luke Heydon and Clemmie Sveaas. Linbury Studio, Royal Opera
House, London WC2 (020-7304 4000), 12 December to 5 January. English National Ballet: Sleeping Beauty Kenneth MacMillans 1987 production of the Petipa-Tchaikovsky classic has proved impressively durable: its designs achieve a rare balance of the gothic and the exquisite, while the story is told with exceptional clarity. This is also a chance to gauge what impact newly appointed director Tamara Rojo has had on ENBs dancers. Manchester Opera House (0844 871 7627), 28 November to 1 December. Then touring. Details: ballet.org.uk
Become a member of Extra, the membership scheme for readers of the Guardian and Observer, and take advantage of our great oers, events and competitions. Enjoy a pre-show meal at Wagamama, a stalls or dress circle seat to see Loserville at the Garrick Theatre plus a signed poster from the show, all for 35.
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Classical
By Andrew Clements
La Bohme John Copleys aectionately detailed re-creation of 1830s Paris may be heading towards its 40th anniversary, but its becoming a Christmas xture in the Royal Operas season. As usual, lineups change frequently during the extended run, but Mark Elder conducts the rst tranche of performances, and Rolando Villazn and Maija Kovalevska head the rst cast. Royal Opera House, London WC2 (020-7304 4000), 17 December to 12 March. Messiah Among the abundance of professional and amateur yuletide performances of Handels oratorio, those by the Dunedin Consort stand out for their combination of musical scholarship and exhilarating stylishness. As ever, John Butt conducts, with members of the Consort taking the solo parts. Kelvingrove Museum, Glasgow (0141-353 8000), 8 December. Then touring. Details: dunedin-consort.org.uk Der Fliegende Hollnder A one-o concert performance of Wagners rst great opera, with the cast of Zurich Operas new production led by Bryn Terfel as the itinerant Dutchman, with Anja Kampe as Senta and Matti Salminen as Daland. Alain Altinoglu
PHOTOGRAPHS MIKAH SMILLIE; JOHAN PERSSON
conducts. Royal Festival Hall, London SE1 (0845 875 0073), 15 December. The Little Match Girl Passion I Fagiolinis latest boundary-crossing project gives a theatrical packaging to David Langs haunting choral work, based on Hans Christian Andersens fairytale, with shadow puppets by Matthew Robbins. German and Danish carols as well as Bachs great motet Jesu, Meine Freude provide the musical context. Shoreditch Church, London (020-7377 1362), 14 December. Then touring. Details: ifagiolini.com The Truth from Above The Sixteens Christmas programme follows on from the groups 2012 choral pilgrimage, which was built around the great Flemish composers of the Renaissance. Seasonal works by the same composers Josquin, Mouton, Lassus form the framework, interspersed with 20th-century British settings. Town Hall, Reading (0118960 6060), 9 December. Then touring. Details: thesixteen.com Birmingham Beethoven Cycle Birminghams season-long celebration starts up again in the new year with the latest instalment of Andris Nelsons symphony series. This time, he conducts the CBSO in the Fourth and Fifth, separating them with the composers opus 65, Ah Perdo!, with soprano Carolyn Sampson as soloist. Symphony Hall, Birmingham (0121-345 0600), 9 and 10 January.
Comedy
By Brian Logan
David Hoyle and Richard Thomas: Merrie Hell The last time Richard Thomas hooked up with a comedy performer (Stewart Lee) and dabbled in matters religious, all hell broke loose. That was Jerry Springer: the Opera. Now hes collaborating with David Hoyle (aka cabaret artist The Divine David) on a trashy, meaty buet of festive lth and sick songs. Soho theatre, London (020-7478 0100), 29 November to 5 January. Pappys: Last Show Ever The sketch troupe Pappys were pipped to the Edinburgh comedy award this summer for their terric show, which imagines the trio assembling as old men to reect on their last ever gig. Now embarking on a national tour, its fabulously silly and weirdly moving. Met, Bury (0161-761 2216), 22 November. Then en touring. Details: pappyscomedy.com The Boy with Tape on his Face Without a strip of gaer tape across his is mouth, Sam Wills made a ne living as a street performer and circus act in his s native New Zealand. With tape, he has s become one of the hottest acts in comedy: a lovable silent clown ringleading a night of crowdpleasing physisical comedy. Duchess, London (0844 412 4659) 17 December to 5 January. Nine Lessons and Carols for Godless People Improbably enough, Robin Inces annual bash for unbelievers has become as much a yuletide xture as plum du. This years celebrants of science include Josie Long, Joanna Neary and Richard Herring, with special guests Stewart Lee, Isy Suttie and Tony Law. Proceeds to the Rationnalist Association. Bloomsbury, London n (020-7388 8822) 16-23 December.
Clockwise from above Merrie Hell, with David Hoyle and Richard Thomas; The Boy with Tape on his Face; La Bohme
Theatres London
Adelphi Theatre 0844 579 0094 PREVIEWS FROM TOMORROW Criterion Theatre 0844 847 2483 Londons Funniest Comedy
THE BODYGUARD
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pm www.thebodyguardmusical.com Aldwych Theatre 0844 847 1712
The 39 Steps
Mon-Sat 8pm, Wed 3pm, Sat 4pm
DOMINION 0844 847 1775
LYCEUM 0844 871 3000 book online www.thelionking.co.uk Disney Presents
PALACE THEATRE 0844 412 4656
SINGIN' IN THE RAIN

singinintherain.co.uk PHOENIX THEATRE 08448717629
Savoy Theatre 0844 871 7687 Will Young as Emcee Michelle Ryan as Sally Bowles
THE LION KING

Tue-Sat 7.30, Wed, Sat & Sun 2.30 For Group/Education rates call 08448717644 / Disney 02078450949
CABARET
Shaftesbury Theatre 0207 379 5399
TOP HAT
"A musical like this comes around once in a lifetime." Sunday Tel Tue-Sat 7.30, Tue,Thu & Sat 2.30 www.tophatonstage.com Ambassadors 08448 112 334
WE WILL ROCK YOU

by QUEEN & BEN ELTON Mon-Sat 7.30, Mat Sat 2.30 Extra show last Wednesday of every month at 2.30 www.wewillrockyou.co.uk
LYRIC THEATRE 0844 412 4661
BLOOD BROTHERS FINAL WEEK-ENDS SAT

Piccadilly Theatre 0844 871 3055
ROCK OF AGES
THE SMASH HIT MUSICAL St James Theatre 0844 264 2140
THRILLER LIVE!
Tue-Fri7.30, Sat 4&8, Sun 3.30&7.30 www,thrillerlive.com GIELGUD 0844 482 5130
VIVA FOREVER!
Based on the songs of the Spice Girls Book by Jennifer Saunders From 27 November | 20-67.50 www.VivaForeverTheMusical.com PINTER 0844 871 7622 ALAN AYCKBOURNS A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL achorusofdisapproval.com Prince Edward 0844 482 5152
DADDY LONG LEGS

A new musical Directed by John Caird www.stjamestheatre.co.uk St Martin's 08444 991515 60th year of Agatha Christie's
STOMP
Mon, Thu-Sat 8pm Thu, Sat & Sun 3pm, Sun 6pm APOLLO THEATRE 0844 412 4658 TWELFTH NIGHT RICHARD III In repertoire Shakespearewestend.com APOLLO VICTORIA 0844 847 1696
CHARIOTS OF FIRE
DRURY LANE 0844 871 8810
SHREK THE MUSICAL

Duchess Theatre 0844 412 4659
***** 'A magnificent triumph' Mail on Sunday Mon-Sat 19:45, Wed & Sat 15:00 chariotsoffireonstage.com
HER MAJESTY'S 0844 412 2707 THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL
New London Theatre 020 7452 3000 / 0844 412 4654
WAR HORSE
Warhorseonstage.com NOVELLO 0844 482 5115 'ABBA-Solutely Fabulous' D.Mail
THE MOUSETRAP
Evenings 7.30 Mats. Tues 3 Sat 4 www.the-mousetrap.co.uk Vaudeville Theatre 0844 412 4663
WICKED
WickedTheMusical.co.uk Mon-Sat 7.30pm Wed & Sat 2.30pm CAMBRIDGE 08444124652 Roald Dahls
OUR BOYS
Garrick 0844 412 4662 book online loservillethemusical.com
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30 www.ThePhantomOfTheOpera.com
MAMMA MIA!
Mon-Sat 7.45, Thurs & Sat 3pm, www.Mamma-Mia.com OLD VIC 0844 871 7628 SHERIDAN SMITH
JERSEY BOYS
Winner Best Musical! Oliviers Tue-Sat 7.30,Tue&Sat 3pm, Sun 5pm QUEEN'S 0844 482 5160
UNCLE VANYA
Mon - Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30 Wyndhams Theatre 0844 4825120
MATILDA THE MUSICAL

Tue7Wed-Sat7.30Wed&Sat2.30Sun3 www.matildathemusical.com
LOSERVILLE the Musical

Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 3pm Tickets from 10.00 - 49.50
London Palladium 0844 412 4655 TOMMY STEELE in THE SPECTACULAR MUSICAL
HEDDA GABLER
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Wed & Sat 2.30pm Final week
LES MISERABLES
WINNER! 2012 Olivier Audience Award Eves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30 www.LesMis.com
DREAMBOATS
& PETTICOATS
SCROOGE
Entertainment
Television
seem to be nding it harder to get over the death of Sybil than everyone at Downton Abbey (ITV1, Sunday) is. Well, theyve got other things to worry about such as the snowballing momentum of social change. It was so much easier when upstairs meant upstairs and downstairs meant downstairs; but now there are all these landings and mezzanines, people barging their way upwards, others sliding down, or being pushed down, its like a game of snakes and bloody ladders. Mrs OBrien is chief snake obviously. Sssss. Then youve got women the few who havent died during childbirth wanting to vote. And work. And huh! write newspaper columns. (I do like the way that went in those days though; when Ive nished this, Im going to take the train up to London, to discuss my copy with my editor, then maybe well go out for dinner ... well I would if I wasnt already in London, in the oce, and my editor didnt have about 17 other columns to deal with.) Jazz has arrived, at The Blue Dragon club in Soho. Its like the outer circle from Dantes Inferno, says Matthew on entering. Not a jazz man then. Nor am I, to be honest, but in 1920 it must have felt as if a window had nally been opened and a blast of fresh air let in to the stiing stuness of it all. Matthews just boring. And theres this other new plague, homosexuality, which Thomas probably caught during the war, o a Frenchman. Its obviously foul and unnatural and ungodly etc, but theres also a new kind of tolerance creeping in (probably from France as well). As Lord Grantham or Robert, as hes increasingly known as says, everyone at Eton is at it, so maybe its not such a big deal after all. Mrs OBrien, icking her forked tongue in and out, isnt feeling any of this new tolerance though, and its not looking good for Thomas, who could
Its like the outer circle from Dantes Inferno Downton Abbey posh frock on. This series has reached new heights of melodrama, absurdity of storyline and cliched writing. And at times say some people who know more about these things than I do just plain wrongness. Would Lord Grantham really have called someone a big girls blouse in 1920? (Im not too fussed about that, actually, but it gets other peoples goats). Downton is still undeniably fun, just so long as you realise thats all it is fun and nothing more. Right then, to the village green for the annual cricket match. Sup bro, Lord Grantham greets the opposing captain ... ha, only kidding. The cricket is splendid, Thomas plays brilliantly, hits boundary after boundary, in spite of his gayness. Tolerance wins the match, and the day. And the covers come over for the season. For the next series, Id like to see a bigger leap forward in time, around 92 years, say, to the present. So this lot will just be portraits on the staircase, except most of them will have had to be sold, to pay o debts. Lord Grantham will be the son that Matthew and Mary havent yet conceived, but by then will be an old man in a baseball cap rattling around in the crumbling remains of the house. Therell be lm crews there, from Channel 4 probably, rescuing the house, searching for antiques to sell, making a y-on-the wall documentary about an endangered species (the English aristocracy, who by then now will be nothing more than a source of entertainment for the rest of us). Yes, I think that works. And it will be like a whole new genre of TV documentary, and docudrama, within drama (well, soap opera then). And television wont just have eaten itself, it too will have entered at least the rst circle of Dantes Inferno.
Last night's TV Downton Abbey goes to Soho and encounters jazz and homosexuality
By Sam Wollaston
well end up in Reading jail. Until Bates comes to the rescue. Urrgh, Bates, I think Im even less over his release from prison than I am over Sybils death. They should have hanged him when they had the chance. I dont care if he was innocent. At least OBrien is a snake. Bates is a snivelling, sanctimonious little worm of a man. To be fair, he does save the day, and Thomas, simply by whispering three words her ladyships soap in OBriens ear. Its blackmail hes referring to the time she made Lady Grantham slip getting out of the bath, slip and miscarry, remember? Its a double entendre though, hes also (unknowingly perhaps) referring to Downton Abbey itself, the programme in which he appears. Downton is her ladyships soap, Emmerdale with a
AND ANOTHER THING
PHOTOGRAPH NICK WALL
Did anyone else think that Carrie was going to waterboard Brody in Homeland, when she got that bottle? Brilliant episode, because its back to being about the two of them, against (and a little bit for) each other.
TV and radio
Film of the day The Illusionist (9pm, Film4) Neil Burgers nely crafted lm plays a few tricks of its own, with Edward Nortons magician confronting Rufus Sewells haughty Austrian prince in turn-of-the-century Vienna
BBC1
6.0pm BBC News (S) (Followed by Weather.) 6.30 Regional News Programmes (S) (Followed by Weather.)
BBC2
6.0pm Eggheads (R) (S) 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two (S) Zoe Ball hosts the fanzine. 7.0 Great British Food Revival (S) (AD) Monica Galetti champions British asparagus, and Tom Kerridge champions the UKs traditional cured ham.
ITV1
6.0pm Local News (S) (Followed by Weather.) 6.30 ITV News And Weather (S)
Channel 4
6.0pm The Simpsons (R) (S) (AD) With the guest voice of Beverly DAngelo. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S)
MasterChef: the Professionals, BBC2
Watch this
MasterChef: the Professionals 8.30pm, BBC2
The kitchen is as brutal a place as ever as 10 professionals compete for the title of MasterChef, and its straight down to business for the rst ve hopefuls: a skills test. Gregg Wallace looks on with a mixture of admiration and lust as tellys greatest woman, Monica Galetti, butteries a sardine and whips up a pommes dauphine. No ones heard of it, so what chance have they got to cook it with the pair looking on with their critical eyebrows? Just when they think the hard bits over, they must then poach chicken in front of Michel Roux Jr. Hannah Verdier opportunistic Mussolini sent 80,000 troops in an attempt to carve out an African empire, the conict lasted for nearly three years, as British and Axis forces swept back and forth across the desert. Hitler sent in General Rommel and the Afrika Corps with orders to push the British out of Egypt, while Churchill became fanatical about saving the Middle East. Dimbleby pops up around the region to narrate a punchy history. Martin Skegg
7.0 The One Show (S) Presented by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. 7.30 Inside Out (S) Stories of interest to the region. (Followed by BBC News; Regional News.)
7.0 Emmerdale (S) (AD) After visiting Chas in prison, Moira confronts Cain. 7.30 Coronation Street (S) (AD) Gloria celebrates when the Rovers wins the Pub of the Year competition.
7.0 Channel 4 News (S) Including sport and weather. 7.55 4thought.tv (S) In the week leading up to Remembrance Sunday, members of the public reect on war heroes.
8.0 EastEnders (S) (AD) Masood frets about money. 8.30 Gambling Nation Panorama (S) Sophie Raworth explores the darker side of the British gambling industry.
8.0 University Challenge (S) Lincoln College, Oxford takes on Lancaster. 8.30 MasterChef: The Professionals (S) Gregg Wallace, Michel Roux Jr and Monica Galetti return with the culinary challenge. 9.0 The Road To El Alamein: Churchills Desert Campaign (S) (AD) Jonathan Dimbleby tells the story of the campaign for North Africa during the Second World War.
8.0 Little England (S) Amanda Moore makes the best of a tiny kitchen to prepare a French lunch for tourists. 8.30 Coronation Street (S) (AD) Maria worries about losing Marcus. 9.0 Monroe (S) (AD) Nicks stag party is cut short when a trac accident brings a slew of new patients to St Matthews. Last in the series.
8.0 Nuclear War Games: Channel 4 Dispatches (S) Documentary exploring the possibility of an Israeli attack on Irans nuclear facilities. 8.30 Food Unwrapped (S) 9.0 999: Whats Your Emergency? (S) The Blackpool crews deal with 999 calls about a range of nonemergencies.
9.0 Richard Hammonds Miracles Of Nature (S) (AD) New series. Richard Hammond discovers how animals abilities have inspired scientic inventions.
Nigel Slater: Life is Sweets 9pm, BBC4

Sweets, says Nigel Slater, are like a roadmap through my life. Its the starting point for a documentary that, in other hands, could easily be a dull exercise in Chopper-bikesand-Grange-Hill-yay! reportage. Instead, the food writer, while delighting in retro packaging and adverts, movingly uses his nostalgia for confectionery past as a way to explore the relationship between taste and memory. Followed by Toast, a welcome re-run for the dramatisation of Slaters acclaimed memoir. Jonathan Wright
Richard Hammonds Miracles of Nature 9pm, BBC1

Miracles of Nature is boys toys meets nature, pointing out where science has taken its cues from the animal kingdom. Richard Hammond its from one impossibly exotic location to the next, diving in a submarine driven by technology inspired, oddly, by the ight of the vulture, and looking at a ghter pilot suit that is designed to mimic the way giraes control their blood pressure. Its fascinating, despite its charmless, postPartridge host. Ben Arnold
10.0 BBC News (S) 10.25 Regional News And Weather (S) 10.35 Have I Got A Bit More News For You (S) Jeremy Clarkson hosts the comedy news quiz. Guests include Canadian stand-up Tony Law. 11.20 MOBO Highlights 2012 (S) Highlights from Saturdays awards ceremony in Liverpool, featuring Emeli Sande, Labrinth, Conor Maynard, JLS and Dionne Warwick among others.
10.30 Newsnight (S) Jeremy Paxman reports from Washington DC on the eve of the US presidential election. (Followed by Weather.)
10.0 ITV News At Ten And Weather (S) 10.30 Local News/ Weather (S) 10.35 The Agenda (S) ITVs political editor Tom Bradby presents a discussion.
10.0 8 Out Of 10 Cats (S) Jimmy Carr hosts. 10.50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (R) (S) With X Factor judges Gary Barlow, Nicole Scherzinger, Tulisa and Louis Walsh. Paloma Faith performs her new single. 11.50 Random Acts (S) A short lm that encourages viewers to imagine their whole life while in a handstand. 11.55 Shameless (R) (S) (AD)
11.20 Obama: What Happened To Hope? (R) (S) Andrew Marr looks back at President Barack Obamas term in oce, assessing if his administration has lived up to the huge expectations.
11.05 The American President (Rob Reiner, 1995) (S) (AD) The US president becomes romantically involved with an environmental lobbyist. Smart comedy, starring Michael Douglas and Annette Bening.
Mendelssohn (1809-1847), starting with his 1841 appointment to the post of Royal Prussian Kapellmeister in Berlin. (R) 7.30 Radio 3 Live In Concert. The Kungsbacka Trio performs live as part of the Sound Festival in Aberdeen, featuring new music by Huw Watkins alongside core classics by Beethoven and Rachmaninov. 10.0 Free Thinking. On the eve of the US election, Michael Ignatie, former Leader of the Opposition in Canada, gives a talk on enemies in politics at the Radio 3 Free Thinking Festival 2012. 10.45 The Free Thinking Essay: New Generation Thinkers. Charlotte Blease, one of Radio 3s New Generation Thinkers, gives a talk that questions
Radio
Radio 3
90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30 Breakfast. With Sara Mohr-Pietsch. 9.0 Essential Classics. With Sarah Walker. Including the Essential CD of the Week: Virtuoso and Romantic Encores for Violin, performances by Frans Bruggen and this weeks guest, physicist Athene Donald. 12.0 Composer Of The Week: Mendelssohn. Donald Macleod explores the nal seven years of Felix Mendelssohn (1809-1847), starting with his 1841 appointment to the post of Royal Prussian Kapellmeister
Churchills Desert War: the Road to El Alamein 9pm, BBC2

Jonathan Dimbleby tells the story of the battle for North Africa during the second world war. Starting in September 1940, when an
Nigel Slater: Life is Sweets, BBC4
in Berlin. 1.0 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. Mezzo Angelika Kirchschlager and pianist Julius Drake give a recital of Schumann songs, live from the Wigmore Hall, London. Presented by Fiona Talkington. 2.0 Afternoon On 3. Louise Fryer presents concerts focusing on Dutch orchestras, ensembles and period instrument groups. The rst includes music by Stravinsky, Gershwin, Mozart, Strauss and Handel. 4.30 In Tune. Sean Raerty welcomes Italian contralto Sonia Prina, pianist Francesco Piemontesi and students from the Guildhall School of Music and Drama. 6.30 Composer Of The Week: Mendelssohn. Donald Macleod explores the nal seven years of Felix
the relationship between doctors and patients, recorded at the Free Thinking Festival. 11.0 Jazz On 3. Jez Nelson presents Jim Harts Cloudmakers Trio in session with guest saxophonist Antonin-Tri Hoang. 12.30 Through The Night. Including music by Beethoven, Dvorak, Grainger, Vivaldi, Elgar, Gabrieli, Bach, Liszt, Chopin, Rozycki, Farkas, Enescu, Selma y Salaverde, Leclair, Salzedo, Falla and Scarlatti.
Radio 4
92.4-94.6 MHz; 198kHz

6.0 Today. News headlines and sport, presented by Evan Davis and Sarah Montague. 9.0 Start The Week. A debate on political division from
Full TV listings For comprehensive programme details see the Guardian Guide every Saturday or go to tvlistings.guardian.co.uk/
Channel 5
6.0pm Home And Away (R) (S) (AD) Harvey rekindles his relationship with Mel. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 (S) 7.0 Cowboy Builders (R) (S) Dominic Littlewood and Melinda Messenger visit a Berkshire couple who remortgaged their house to pay for an extension. (Followed by 5 News Update.)
BBC3
BBC4
More4
6.20pm Come Dine With Me (R) (S) Warwickshire is the setting for this edition.
Atlantic
6.0pm House (R) An injured baseball player on the verge of returning to the game breaks his arm.
Other channels
E4 6.0pm The Big Bang Theory. Leonard and Raj take a heartbroken Howard to Las Vegas. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory. Penny makes a surprising revelation. 7.0 Hollyoaks. Mitzeee returns to the village to nd herself homeless. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother. Lilys journey home from Seattle is disrupted by a blizzard. 8.0 New Girl. Schmidt tries to win Ceces aections. 8.30 Suburgatory. A croquet match results in a misunderstanding. 9.0 Derren Brown: Apocalypse. The showman concludes his two-part special. 10.0 Made In Chelsea. Jamie continues to pursue Binky after being turned down for a second date. 11.05 The Work Experience. JJ and Zoyia help market a brand of fake fur. 11.40 Fresh Meat. JP invites the gang to stay at his country house over Easter. Film4 6.55pm The Wedding Planner. Romantic comedy, with Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey. 9.0 The Illusionist. Mystery thriller, starring Edward Norton. 11.10 Tiny Furniture. Comedy drama, directed by and starring Lena Dunham. FX 6.0pm Leverage. Nate engages in a battle of wits against his father Jimmy. 7.0 NCIS. The team investigates the murder of a Navy pilot. 8.0 NCIS. Tonys father is linked to an attempted assassination. 9.0 Burn Notice. Michaels search for information on Anson leads him to a meeting with an old foe. 10.0 True Blood. Sookie and Jason visit the site of their parents deaths. 11.05 Family Guy. Stewie plans a trip to England. 11.35 Family Guy. Three stories inspired by viewers letters. ITV2 6.0pm The Jeremy Kyle Show USA. The host takes his successful talk-show to the US. 7.0 The X Factor Results. Featuring performances by No Doubt and Rita Ora. 8.0 The Xtra Factor Results. Behind the scenes of The X Factor. 9.0 The Vampire Diaries. Damon gives Elena a lesson in choosing a victim to feed from. 10.0 Switch. Grace decides to leave the city after she is mugged. 11.0 Girlfri3nds. The girls Weird Tales 1.0 The Saint 2.0 Count Arthur Strongs Radio Show! 2.30 Life, Death And Sex With Mike And Sue 3.0 Lost Empires 4.0 Married Love 4.15 Loose Ends 5.0 Like Theyve Never Been Gone 5.30 Safety Catch
7.0pm Dont Tell The Bride (R) (S) A professional wrestler takes sole charge of planning his wedding to ancee Becky. Last in the series.
7.0pm World News Today (S) (Followed by Weather.) 7.30 Timothy Spall: Back At Sea (R) (S) (AD) Tim and Shane sail from the Cumbrian port of Whitehaven to Portpatrick near Stranraer. 8.0 Natures Microworlds (R) (S) An exploration of ecosystems around the world. 8.30 Only Connect (S) Three teachers take on a trio of writers in the third quarter-nal of the series. 9.0 Nigel Slater: Life Is Sweets (S) The food writer charts the origins of British sweets and chocolate.
7.30 Hughs 3 Good Things (S) New series. Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall provides an array of tips to make things easy in the kitchen.
7.0 House (R) A 12year-old patient claims that his mysterious illness is the result of a curse placed upon him by a ouija board.
Under Capricorn, TCM

spend 24 hours with their favourite men. Sky1 6.0pm Futurama. Bender considers a radical upgrade. 6.30 The Simpsons. Homer gets a new assistant. 7.0 The Simpsons. Homer fears the apocalypse is imminent. 7.30 The Simpsons. Homer becomes the Grim Reaper. 8.0 Arrow. A lone gunman muscles in on Olivers patch. 9.0 A League Of Their Own. With Chris Hoy, Rebecca Adlington, David Walliams and Neil Ruddock. 10.0 Game Of Thrones. The Lannisters try to seize power. 11.20 Fringe. The team revisits Walters Harvard lab. Sky Arts 1 6.0pm Songbook. Albert Hammond reveals the inspiration behind his songs. 7.0 Hay Sessions 2012. With Julian Clary. 8.0 Frank Lloyd Wright. Part one of two. The life and career of the architect. 9.0 In Dreams: The Roy Orbison Story. Prole of the singersongwriter. 10.0 The Songs Of Roy Orbison. The singersongwriter performs some of his greatest hits. 11.0 Rory Gallagher: Rockpalast. A German TV performance by the Irish guitarist. TCM 6.45pm Under Capricorn. Alfred Hitchcocks period drama, starring Ingrid Bergman. 9.0 Tequila Sunrise. Thriller, starring Mel Gibson and Kurt Russell. 11.15 Murder At 1600. Political thriller, starring Wesley Snipes.
8.0 The All New Gadget Show (S) New series. Jason Bradbury and Pollyanna Woodward return with the hi-tech series. (Followed by 5 News At 9.)
8.0 Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands (R) (S) Lucy struggles to tackle the demanding workload on the night shift.
8.0 Grand Designs (R) (S) (AD) Kevin McCloud follows the progress of two architects who are planning to build an eco-friendly subterranean house.
8.0 Seinfeld (R) (S) George masquerades as a marine biologist to score with a former classmate. 8.30 Seinfeld (S) Jerry falls out with his girlfriend when she refuses to share a piece of pie with him. 9.0 Dont Sit In The Front Row (S) Phill Jupitus, Sue Perkins and Josh Widdicombe lampoon the lives of members of the audience. Hosted by Jack Dee. 9.30 BrandX With Russell Brand (S) 10.0 Girls (S) Hannahs new boss is a bit too friendly for her liking. 10.35 Nurse Jackie (R) (S) Grace learns the truth about Jackies stay in rehab.
9.0 Revolver (Guy Ritchie, 2005) (S) A gambler is helped by two enigmatic loan sharks to exact revenge on his former boss. Pretentious crime drama, with Jason Statham and Ray Liotta.
9.0 Border Wars: Stacey Dooley In The USA (S) (AD) The host follows young South Americans who risk their lives by hiking for ve days in ferocious heat to cross illegally into the US. Last in the series. 10.0 Russell Howards Good News (R) (S) The comedian oers his perspective on stories dominating the media. 10.30 EastEnders (R) (S) (AD) Masood frets about money.
9.0 Grand Designs Australia (S) (AD) Edd and Amanda Williams build a bunker property in Victorias Yarra Valley in the aftermath of the Black Saturday Bushres of 2009. Last in series.
10.0 Toast (R) (S) (AD) Drama about the childhood of food writer and cook Nigel Slater, based on his autobiographical novel of the same name. Freddie Highmore, Helena Bonham Carter and Ken Stott star. 11.30 The Late Show (R) (S) Historian Eric Hobsbawm, who died last month, is seen here talking to Michael Ignatie about his book The Age of Extremes: The Short Twentieth Century.
10.05 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings (R) (S) (AD) The series exploring the world of modern British gypsies and travellers examines the importance of fashion to members of the community.
11.20 Lock Up (John Flynn, 1989) (S) A convict falls foul of a sadistic warden with a grudge against him. Sentimental alphamale thriller with Sylvester Stallone and Donald Sutherland.
11.0 Family Guy (R) (S) The Grins gain superpowers. 11.25 Family Guy (R) (S) A Jewish accountant helps the Grins with their money problems. 11.45 American Dad! (R) (S)
2.15 Afternoon Drama: Everything. Drama, by Oliver Emanuel. (R) 3.0 Round Britain Quiz. A contest between teams from the North and South of England. 3.30 The Food Programme. The culinary fascination with lard. (R) 4.0 Justice Between The Covers. Helena Kennedy examines the relationship between law and literature. 4.30 The Digital Human. The potential impact of advances in technology on the human character. 5.0 PM. With Eddie Mair. 5.57 Weather 6.0 Six OClock News 6.30 The Museum Of Curiosity. With donations by Sara Pascoe, Marc Abrahams and Buzz Aldrin. Last in the series. 7.0 The Archers. Fallon steps
11.10 Embarrassing Bodies (R) (S) Dr Dawn Harper and Dr James Logan visit Thailand to investigate the health problems that Britons may be susceptible to in that country.
11.10 Flight Of The Conchords (R) (S) Comments by Murray make Bret insecure about his body. 11.45 Seinfeld (R) (S) George masquerades as a marine biologist in an eort to impress a former classmate.
2.0 South Riding 2.15 Laurence LlewelynBowens Men Of Fashion 2.30 Born Brilliant: The Life Of Kenneth Williams 2.45 A Kestrel For A Knave 3.0 Lost Empires 4.0 The 4 OClock Show 5.0 Like Theyve Never Been Gone 5.30 Safety Catch 6.0 A Collection Of Bones 6.15 The Matrix 6.30 Weird Tales 7.0 Beyond Our Ken 7.30 Steptoe And Son 8.0 The Saint 9.0 Married Love 9.15 Loose Ends 10.0 Comedy Club: The Museum Of Curiosity 10.30 Count Arthur Strongs Radio Show! 11.0 The News Quiz Extra 11.45 Creme De La Crime 12.0 A Collection Of Bones 12.15 The Matrix 12.30
Roy Orbison, Sky Arts 1

World Brieng 3.30 Outlook 4.0 News 4.06 HARDtalk 4.30 Sport Today 5.0 World Brieng 5.30 World Business Report 6.0 World Have Your Say 7.0 World Brieng 7.30 Discovery 7.50 From Our Own Correspondent 8.0 News 8.06 HARDtalk 8.30 The Strand 8.50 Witness 9.0 Newshour 10.0 News 10.06 Outlook 10.30 World Business Report 11.0 World Brieng 11.30 Business Daily 11.50 Witness 12.0 World Brieng 12.30 Discovery 12.50 Sports News 1.0 World Brieng 1.30 World Business Report 1.50 From Our Own Correspondent 2.0 News 2.06 HARDtalk 2.30 Outlook 3.0 Newsday 3.30 The Strand 3.50 Witness 4.0 Newsday 4.30 Discovery 4.50 From Our Own Correspondent 5.0 Newsday
Radio 3s Free Thinking Festival. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. Led by Canon Chris Chivers. 9.45 (FM) Book Of The Week: On Wheels. By Michael Holroyd. 10.0 Womans Hour. With Jane Garvey. 11.0 The Gaza Surf Club. Life through the eyes of a group of Palestinian surfers. 11.30 Ayres On The Air. Comic poems and sketches about winter. Last in the series. 12.0 News 12.04 You And Yours. With Julian Worricker. 12.57 Weather 1.0 The World At One. Presented by Edward Stourton. 1.45 Foreign Bodies. Jakob Arjournis PI Kemal Kayankaya. 2.0 The Archers. James revels in all the attention. (R)
up to the plate. 7.15 Front Row. Mark Lawson reports on letters from the Mary Whitehouse archive. 7.45 (LW) The Righteous Sisters. By Jane Purcell. 7.45 (FM) The Righteous Sisters. By Jane Purcell. 8.0 Document. The nearrevelation of one of Britains biggest Cold War secrets. 8.30 Analysis. Labours interest in Catholic social teaching. 9.0 Material World. With Quentin Cooper. (R) 9.30 Start The Week. A debate on political division from Radio 3s Free Thinking Festival. 9.59 Weather 10.0 The World Tonight. With Ritula Shah. 10.45 Book At Bedtime: The Cleaner Of Chartres. By Salley Vickers.
11.0 Mastertapes. Billy Bragg responds to questions from the audience. 11.30 Today In Parliament. Presented by Susan Hulme. 12.0 News And Weather 12.30 Book Of The Week: On Wheels. By Michael Holroyd. (R) 12.48 Shipping Forecast
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.0 The Saint 7.0 Safety Catch 7.30 The Museum Of Curiosity 8.0 Beyond Our Ken 8.30 Steptoe And Son 9.0 Count Arthur Strongs Radio Show! 9.30 Life, Death And Sex With Mike And Sue 10.0 Lost Empires 11.0 Married Love 11.15 Loose Ends 12.0 Beyond Our Ken 12.30 Steptoe And Son 1.0 The Saint
World Service
Digital and 198 kHz after R4

8.30 Business Daily 8.50 Sports News 9.0 News 9.06 HARDtalk 9.30 The Strand 9.50 Witness 10.0 World Update 11.0 World Have Your Say 11.30 The Why Factor 11.50 From Our Own Correspondent 12.0 News 12.06 Outlook 12.30 The Strand 12.50 Witness 1.0 News 1.06 HARDtalk 1.30 Business Daily 1.50 Sports News 2.0 Newshour 3.0
Puzzles
On the web For tips and all manner of crossword debates go to guardian.co.uk/crosswords
Quick crossword no 13,258

Across
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Sudoku no 2,336
1 Government espionage department (6,7) 8 Uterus (4) 8 9 Chosen as if by divine intervention (8) 10 Bit (10) 12 Hunted animal (6) 10 14 Specialised language (6) 15 Diacritical mark above 12 a vowel in some languages (10) 19 Citizen (non-military) (8) 20 Fe (4) 21 Authors manager (8,5)
1 2 3 4 5 7 6
9 8
7 2 9
11 13 14
3
Want more? Access over 4,000 archive puzzles at guardian.co.uk/crossword. Buy all four Guardian quick crosswords books for only 20 inc UK p&p (save 7.96). Visit guardianbooks.co.uk or call 0330 333 6846.
15 18
16
17
Down
19
20
7 2 7 9 6 6 3
9 8 5 1 7 6 4 3 2 1 4 3 9 5 2 7 8 6 2 6 7 8 4 3 1 9 5 4 3 8 2 6 5 9 7 1
9 5 8 1
Solution to no 2,335
5 1 2 7 3 9 6 4 8 7 9 6 4 1 8 5 2 3 3 7 4 5 8 1 2 6 9 8 5 9 6 2 4 3 1 7 6 2 1 3 9 7 8 5 4
2 Mammoth (8) 3 Prove to be incorrect (5) 21 4 Terribly sad thing (7) 5 Bacterium found in the gut (1,4) 17 Brief relationship (5) 6 Sour liquid (7) 18 Pacic island country 7 Masticate (4) (4) 11 Miserable about an unrequited Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0039 or text GUARDIANQ followed by a space, the day and relationship (8) date the crossword appeared another space and 13 Lie back (7) the CLUE reference to 85010 (e.g GUARDIANQ Wednesday24 Down20). Calls cost 77p a minute 14 Trip (7) from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks 16 Indian dish of chopped may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. standard network cucumber and yoghurt Texts cost 50p a clue plus by ATS. Call 0844 836 charges. Service supplied (5) 9769 for customer service (charged at local rate,
2p a min from a BT landline).
Solution no 13,257
PAT P I TE L E E R I DE O E DUBB A E CON I T T YOU L R VEN RONS A I NT E A L E T V I S ED COO E D E T I R A I RMA I L I Q R E ED SP L I NT B R N W F E R OME G A A U V T CENT I PEDE E E S M R T R I LOQUY
Medium. Fill the grid so that each row, column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9. Printable version at guardian.co.uk/sudoku
Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0036. Calls cost 77p a minute from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 9769 for customer service (charged at local rate, 2p a min from a BT landline). Free tough puzzles at www.puzzler. com/guardian
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Monday 05.11.

Cycling is a sport that levels people

Ahmadinejad an Netanyahu as im d agin by Alison Jackso ed n to promote the Ch annel 4 documentary

What would happen if Israel bombed Iran?

The greatest gangsters moll of them all

Pass notes No 3,275 Javier Bardem

Gypsy Hill in Tangier in 1965

05.11.12 The Guardian 3

Brian Cox: a the contributor to aged successful Unc Monkey tours

PHOTOGRAPH KATHERINE ROSE FOR THE GUARDIAN

05.11.12 The Guardian 5

6 The Guardian 05.11.12

I had not guessed how big the whole thing would be

05.11.12 The Guardian 7

8 The Guardian 05.11.12

On the web To win a signed copy of Bradley Wiggins: My Time, go to guardian.co.uk/bradleycompetition

PHOTOGRAPHS AFP/GETTY IMAGES; CORBIS

05.11.12 The Guardian 9

Adopt a relaxed approach to sleep, not a neurotic, panicstricken one

10 The Guardian 05.11.12

PHOTOGRAPH TONY STONE

Dr Dillners dilemma Should I take sh oil supplements?

05.11.12 The Guardian 11

Hideously Diverse Brita Culls at the Equ in ality Commission

Counselling could help Two years is nothing

It takes time become single again

Set a date to move on

Try to focus on good things

05.11.12 The Guardian 13

Theatre & family shows

16 The Guardian 05.11.12

PHOTOGRAPHS VAGA, NEW YORK; DAVE J HOGAN/GETTY

05.11.12 The Guardian 17

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05.11.12 The Guardian 19

LYCEUM 0844 871 3000 book online www.thelionking.co.uk Disney Presents

PALACE THEATRE 0844 412 4656

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN

THE LION KING

WE WILL ROCK YOU

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BLOOD BROTHERS FINAL WEEK-ENDS SAT

DADDY LONG LEGS

SHREK THE MUSICAL

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THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

MATILDA THE MUSICAL

LOSERVILLE the Musical

AND ANOTHER THING

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05.11.12 The Guardian 21

MasterChef: the Professionals, BBC2

Nigel Slater: Life is Sweets 9pm, BBC4

Richard Hammonds Miracles of Nature 9pm, BBC1

Churchills Desert War: the Road to El Alamein 9pm, BBC2

Nigel Slater: Life is Sweets, BBC4

92.4-94.6 MHz; 198kHz

22 The Guardian 05.11.12

Under Capricorn, TCM

Roy Orbison, Sky Arts 1

Digital and 198 kHz after R4

05.11.12 The Guardian 23

Quick crossword no 13,258