Merry Christmas Charlie Brown

Prelude
Lights come up on Charles Schultz home; Charles is sitting alone at a drawing board, drawing his weekly cartoon strip. Enter Mrs. Joyce Schultz carrying a tray of iced tea. Joyce: Sparky, oh Sparky, oh there you are. I was beginning to wonder if youd ever come out of your den. Are you going to work on this project all day? (Schultz head is down and he continues to work, Joyce says louder) SPARKY! Charles: (Surprised) What? (realizing that he had been lost in thought) You scared me, is there anything wrong? Joyce: Nothing Charles, I was looking for you, why dont we get outside and enjoy the sun? It is a beautiful day to waste inside. Charles: Definitely, I am almost done this weeks strip, it shouldnt be too much longer. I keep forgetting that you can actually enjoy the sun in the middle of February here in California. You know how cold Minnesota is at this time of the year. You know when we were kids wed play ice hockey from dawn to dark, and wed only come home when Charles (reminiscently) and Joyce (mockingly) in unison: our mothers dragged us off the ice! Joyce (laughing) Charles, you do have a habit of living in the past. Charles: Well it did seem like a simpler time before the wars, the depression, the. Joyce: Well Charles, we do need to live in the present and forge out a new path of hope despite what the circumstances say. Charles: Joyce, you are always right, in fact, I been thinking about a new storyline for the strip: Charlie Brown, our beloved loser, is tempted by Lucy to kick a football. You see Lucy is going to tell him something about the little engine that could or something, and Charlie Brown would always believe her, but just before he punts it through the goal post, Lucy pulls it away and we see him flying through the air landing on his back. Lucy will say something biting like, Charlie Brown, youre hopeless. Well what do you think? Joyce: I think you need to get some sun. Now lets go please? Charles: Okay, this can wait. (puts on hat and jacket and starts to walk off the stage when the phone rings) Joyce: I wonder who that could be? Charles: Ill get it. Hello, Charles Schultz speaking.

Claire: Hi Chuck, its Claire, Im in New York and I need to talk to you about A Charlie Brown Christmas. Charles: Oh hi Claire (covers the receiver with hand and say to Joyce in a loud whisper) It is my agent; shes in New York right now. (Joyce throws hands in air and flops down in a chair) So whats the news today Claire? Claire: Listen Charles, CBS and Warner Bros want the Christmas special but there are some concerns. First, they dont want to pay you big for this, and they are concerned about some of the content. They also want you to do something about the music, it isnt child friendly enough. They want glam, lights, and turkey; you know, something that embraces the new idea of Christmas. What do you think? Charles: Wait a minute! They arent happy with the content? What do they want me to do? Joyce: What is wrong? Claire: They want it to fit into a 30 minute slot that will fit in-between the Munsters and Gilligans Island. Its to be a Christmas special for the family and it will air national this December. Joyce: Whats going on? Charles: Well that sounds great Claire, but what do you mean, concerns? Claire: Well, why dont I get the studio to call you and you can discuss it with them? Charles: Okay, that would be great. Claire: Talk soon, and draw a picture of Snoopy for my niece, she absolutely loves him. Oh, put Woodstock in it as well. Charles: Sure Claire, talk soon. (hangs up the phone) Joyce: Charles, what was that about? Charles: The Christmas program is ready to go, but the studio has some concerns. Joyce: What kind of concerns? Charles: I dont know, but Im worried. Joyce: Of all the Charles Schultz in the world, you are the most Charles Schultziest. Hey, whats your idea anyway? You have done a good job keeping it a secret. Charles: (overture begins softly and grows, the voice fades into the background as the lights come up on the main stage) Well lets see, it starts a few days before Christmas and all the children are attending their last day of school for the term when

Scene One
Lights dim and rise slowly on again on the stage as the Overture to Youre a Good Man Charlie Brown plays. Linus, Sally, Violet, Frieda, Charlotte, Paddy, Shermy, Franklin, Lucy, Schroeder, Peppermint Paddy, Marcie, Pig Pen are facing the back of the stage. Snoopy enters, Woodstock follow, Charlie Brown comes in after them. Charlie Brown Snoopy, Oh Snoopy, Oh there you are. (Crosses stage as he reaches Snoopy, Linus begins) Linus - I really don't think you have anything to worry about, Charlie Brown. Shermy: After all, science has shown that a person's character isn't really established until he's at least five years old. Sally: (overlapping) The only thing wrong with my big brother, Charlie Brown, is his lack of confidence; Violet: (to Sally) his inferiority and lack of confidence Freda: his clumsiness, his inferiority, his lack of confidence Sally: his stupidity, his clumsiness, his inferiority and his lack of confidence. Franklin: Did you know that Charlie Brown has never pitched a winning baseball game? Paddy: Never been able to keep a kite in the air? Charlotte: Never won a game of checkers? Schroeder: And never successfully punted a football? Sometimes I marvel at his consistency. Lucy: (overlapping) Now Charlie Brown has what you call a Failure Face, Linus. Notice how it has failure written all over it. Study it carefully. You rarely see such a good example. Peppermint Paddy: Chuck is the kind of guy you always want to cheer for Marcie; yet he is his own worst enemy, a Blockhead Ive heard people say. Marcie: My thoughts exactly Sir, he sure is a neurotic fellow. Peppermint Paddy: Good thing Chuck has that funny looking kid to stand by him, hey Marcie? (Snoopy looks up and whines loudly) Charlie Brown: Some days I wake up early to watch the sunrise, and I think how beautiful it is, and how my life lies before me, and I get a very positive feeling about things. Like this morning for instance; the sky's so clear and the sun's so bright. How can anything go wrong on a day like this? (looks at watch) I'm late! Snoopy: Woof! 3

Song: Youre a Good Man Charlie Brown

You're a good man, Charlie Brown, You're the kind of reminder we need, You have humility, nobility and a sense of honor that is very rare indeed. You're a good man, Charlie Brown, and we know you will go very far Yes it's hard to believe. Almost frightening to conceive, what a good man you are. You are kind. You are kind to all the animals (Charlie Brown pets Woodstock and Snoopy) And every little bird With a heart of gold You believe what you're told... Every single solitary word

You bravely face adversity You're cheerful through the day You're thoughtful Brave and courteous And you also have some faults But for the moment let's just say That you're a good man, Charlie Brown (Marching four steps forward) You're a prince And a prince could be king With a heart such as yours You could open any doors You could go out and do anything You could be king, Charlie Brown You could be king! (Charlie Brown) Everybody says to me: You're a good man, Charlie Brown Every voice in harmony You're a good man, Charlie Brown All I need is one more try Gotta get that kite to fly And I'm not the kind of guy 4

Who gives up easily Wonder why they stop to say You're a good man, Charlie Brown Never liked me, anyway You're a good man, Charlie Brown Trying not to rock the boat Not to make a scene A good man? Yes But I confess I don't know what they mean I wanna rise like I should And do everything right But I lie awake at night... With questions in my ear I want to join the dance But the answer isn't clear. Than I hear: [OTHERS] Charlie Brown... Charlie Brown... You're a good man, Charlie Brown You're a good man, Charlie Brown [SNOOPY] Woof! [OTHERS] You're a good man, Charlie Brown You're the kind of reminder we need You have humility, nobility, and a sense of honor That is very rare indeed [CHARLIE BROWN] There they go again Don't know what they mean I'm not good, I'm not bad I'm somewhere in between [OTHERS] You're a good man, Charlie Brown 5

[CHARLIE BROWN] I don't understand You're a prince and a prince could be king With a heart such as yours you could open any doors You could go out And do anything You could be King, Charlie Brown You could be King! [CHARLIE BROWN] "Nothing lasts forever" [OTHERS] You could be king [CHARLIE] "All good things must end" I've memorized That phrase by heart. So tell me, I need to know it... [OTHERS] Believe it And you were born for this part You're a good man, Charlie Brown! [CHARLIE] When do the Good things start? [LUCY/SCHROEDER] You're a good man, Charlie Brown [LINUS/SALLY] Bravely facing Adversity - You can open up

[LUCY/SCHROEDER] You're a good man, Charlie Brown [ALL] You're a good man, Charlie Brown!

Lights fade and rise again on St. James Elementary School(9 Chairs are needed on stage) Class sits down and Peppermint Paddy and Marcie enter and sit at their desk when Miss Othmar calls upon Peppermint Paddy to stand up. Peppermint Paddy: Yes, Maam, you would like to hear my geography report on the oceans of the world. OK, but I must admit, I dont understand this first question on what is the largest ocean in the world. Could you be more Pacific? (Pause for response, teacher places hands on hips) Alright maam, there are no oceans in Kansas. There are no oceans in Nebraska. There are no oceans in Nevada. There are no oceans in (Teacher interrupts and Peppermint Paddy looks dumbfounded) What maam, everyone knows that already. Oh, do me a favor, will you, ma'am? Call attendance again, and see if I'm really here! (sits down, turns to Marcie) Marcie: Oh Sir, I think you have upset the teacher, I hope you be ready for the test? Peppermint Patty: You can say that again, boy, class can ruin your grade average." No problem, Marcie, what type of test is it anyway? Marcie: Multiple choice, Sir. Peppermint Patty : Multiple choice? Good! I choose not to take it! Pig Pen: (Teacher voice is heard as she stands over him, patting him on the shoulder and watching dust fly (Baby Powder) ) Dirty, you think I am dirty, well I have affixed to me the dust and dirt of countless ages...who am I to disturb history? Charlie Brown: Oh Shermy, we've got ANOTHER holiday to worry about. It seems Thanksgiving Day was just yesterday. Shermy: I haven't even finished eating all of my Halloween candy! Franklin: What are you going to do this Christmas Linus? Linus: My mom, dad, Lucy and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner Lucy: Why don't you come along, Schroder? We can hold hands under the table.

Schroder: (Turns to audience, and face turns sour) Blah! (Hides head in arms and falls on desk.) (Enter Sally in a rage)

Sally: A 'C'? A 'C'? I got a 'C' on my coat hanger sculpture? How could anyone get a 'C' in coat hanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me? Are you willing to share my 'C'? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coat hanger itself out of which my creation was made...now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coat hangers that are used by the dry cleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my 'C'? (The teachers voice is heard) Thank you, Miss Othmar. (to audience) The squeaky wheel gets the grease! (exits as the lunch bell rings and kids head off for lunch, Charlie Brown grabs lunch bag) Pig Pen: LUNCHTIME!!! Frieda: What's the good of having naturally curly hair if nobody's jealous?! People always expect more of you when you have naturally curly hair! Violet: You know, it's a strange thing about Charlie Brown...you almost never see him laugh Charlotte: (to Charlie Brown) Can you take a little friendly criticism, Charlie Brown? Charlie Brown: Why, of course. I'm not above that sort of thing at all; a little friendly criticism can always be helpful to a person. What is it you wanted to say? Charlotte: You're hopeless. Paddy: (to Charlie Brown) You will always be miserable! You were born miserable and you will stay miserable! Don't think you're ever going to change because you're not! Charlie Brown: Rats. Next year I resolve to be a changed person! Paddy: That's a laugh, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown: I mean it! I'm going to be strong and firm. Frieda: Forget it. You'll always be wishy-washy. Charlotte: Yeah, Charlie Brown, youre as wishy-washy as anyone I know!

Charlie Brown: Why can't I change just a little bit? I'll be wishy one day and washy the next! Linus: (Come onto the stage sucking thumb, looks at it and gets a look of horror) Its losing its flavor! (runs off stage) Charlie Brown: (enters with a sack lunch and sits down beside Shermy and Franklin) I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes, mornings aren't so pleasant either. Waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then there's the night, too. Lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all those hours in between when I do all those stupid things. (enter Little Red Head Girl) Franklin: What do you have for lunch Charlie Brown? Peanut butter? Some psychiatrists say that people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely...I guess they're right. And when you're really lonely, the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. Charlie Brown: There's that cute little red-headed girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she would do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her? There's no reason why I couldn't just go over and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up! I'm sitting down. I'm a coward. Shermy: You are a coward, why should she look at you? (Looks over and sees her glancing at Charlie Brown) Hey Charlie Brown, I think shes looking at you! No, I know see is looking at you!! (Charlie Brown puts his lunch-bag over his head.) Charlie Brown: Lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. Franklin: Your optimism should be framed, Charles. Charlie Brown: If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I'm the biggest fool alive. Franklin: True, but, if she isn't looking at you, then maybe you could take it off quick and she'd never notice it. Shermy: On the other hand...you can't tell if she's looking, until you take it off! Charlie Brown: Then again, if I never take it off I'll never have to know if she was looking at me or not. On the other hand...it's very hard to breathe in here. (he removes his sack) Whew! She's not looking at me! I wonder why she never looks at me? Oh well, another lunch hour over with...only 2,863 to go. (Bell rings) Back to class. (Enter Peppermint Paddy and Marcie as students gather in the background) Peppermint Patty: Guess what, Marcie. Disaster time, our teacher wants us to read a book during Christmas vacation. Got any suggestions? Marcie: On what book to read?

Peppermint Patty: No! On how to get out of it! I'm not going to have to read a book, Marcy. See? A Tale of Two Cities was just on TV. I watched the movie, so now I won't have to read the book. The only thing I didn't understand the parts about the shampoo, the soap, and the coffee. Marcie: Those were the commercials, Sir. Sometimes I think you tore all the ligaments in your head Peppermint Patty: (Charlie Brown walks past Peppermint Paddy and Marcie and the girls stop him) Chuck, I want to apologize for saying that you're a blockhead and wishy-washy and everything. It's not easy for a girl to talk like this to a boy, you know. Charlie Brown: That is OK Peppermint Paddy, sometimes I am a blockhead. Peppermint Paddy: Yeah Chuck, youre not a poor loser, youre a good loser. Youre so good at losing you should be given a metal. Charlie Brown: For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life. But there was a flag on the play! (walks toward Lucy and Violet) Marcie: I think you said that wrong sir. Peppermint Patty: Kid, I want to ask you something: how come you're always calling me 'sir' when I keep asking you not to? Don't you realize how annoying that can be? Marcie: No, ma'am. Peppermint Paddy: Argggggh. (Enter Lucy, Violet, Sally, Fredia and other girls) Lucy I tell you girls, I dont believe that Miss Othmar is correct. When she was explaining photosynthesis this morning, she said that it had nothing to do with cameras? Violet And how about the time she told us she was in a car pool, huh, she never comes to school wet! Sally Sometimes I think adults make things up, like the time she told us about the centimeter. If any centimeters come crawling into this room, I'll step on 'em! Frieda I think we should be the teachers, wed really set the world straight. Song: Little Known Facts LUCY -Do you see that tree? It is a Fir tree. It's called a Fir tree because it gives us fur, Fur coats, It also gives us wool in the wintertime. LINUS - I never knew that before, Lucy. That's very interesting. VIOLET: This is an elm tree. It's very little. But it will grow up into a giant tree, An oak. You can tell how old it is by counting it's leaves. 10

Franklin: Gosh, Girls, that's fascinating. CHARLIE BROWN: Now wait a minute. I don't mean to interfere, butLUCY: And way up there, Those fluffy little white things, Those are clouds, They make the wind blow. And way down there, Those tiny little black things, Those are bugs, They make the grass grow. Shermy: Is that so? LUCY: That's right. They run around all day long, tugging and tugging at each tiny seedling until it grows into a great tall blade of grass. Linus: Boy, that's interesting. CHARLIE BROWN: Oh, good grief. Violet: And this thing here. It's called a hydrant. They grow all over, And no one seems to know Just how A little thing like that Gives so much water.

Lucy and Violet: D'you see that bird? It's called an Eagle, But since it's little it has another name, a sparrow, And on Christmas and Thanksgiving We eat them. CHARLIE BROWN Lucy and Violet, how can you say that?! I'm sorry, but I can't stand idly by and listen toFrieda And way up there, the little stars and planets, Make the rain, That falls in showers. And when it's cold and winter is upon us, The snow comes up, just like the flowers. CHARLIE BROWN Now, Fredia, I know that's wrong. Snow doesn't come up, it comes down. 11

LUCY After it comes up, the wind blows it around so it looks like it's coming down but actually it comes up out of the ground- like grass. It comes up, Charlie Brown, snow comes up! CHARLIE BROWN: Oh, good grief! LINUS Lucy, why is Charlie Brown banging his head against that tree? LUCY To loosen the bark to make the tree grow faster.

ALL GIRLS: Clouds can make the wind blow Bugs can make the grass grow So, there you go These are little known facts That now you know! Bell Rings and all the kids shout SCHOOLS OUT ---Pan winter scene: move frozen pond where children are skating, and singing: Song: Christmas Time Is Here Christmas time is here Happiness and cheer Fun for all that children call Their favorite time of the year Snowflakes in the air Carols everywhere Olden times and ancient rhymes Of love and dreams to share Sleigh bells in the air Beauty everywhere Yuletide by the fireside And joyful memories there Christmas time is here We'll be drawing near Oh, that we could always see Such spirit through the year

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(Instrumental Interlude) Charlie Brown, Franklin, and Linus are sitting and stop to talk over a brick wall:

Charlie Brown: I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but Im not happy. I dont feel the way Im supposed to feel. I just dont understand Christmas, I guess. I might be getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but Im still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed. Franklin: Charlie Brown, youre the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Linus: Maybe Lucys right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you are the Charlie Browniest. They turn and talk and walk toward skating pond. The kids are playing and singing: Sleigh bells in the air Beauty everywhere Yuletide by the fireside And joyful memories there Christmas time is here We'll be drawing near Oh, that we could always see Such spirit through the year

Cut Snoopy skating solo. He grabs Lucys hand and skates off. More kids join hands to make a long tail. Snoopy cracks the whip and kids go flying in all directions. (Music begins for My Blanket and Me) Linus: Sucking your thumb without a blanket- is like eating a cone without ice cream! Song: My Blanket and Me

Lucy: Look at my little baby brother, Linus, with is little baby blanket. Sally: There's your baby brother with his silly little blanket. Lucy: Well, you know how babies are with their blankets. Linus: Whaddya mean?

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It's a cozy sanctuary But it's far from necessary Cause I'm just as self-reliant as before As a simple demonstration Of my independent station I will go and leave my blanket on the floor Yes I'll walk away and leave it Though I know you won't believe it I'll just walk away and leave it on the floor (tries to walk away but finds it more and more difficult with every step) Yes, I'll walkawayand leave itonthe... Aarrrggghh! Don't ever let me do that again. Lucy: You're a hopeless case, Linus...

Linus: I thought I could do it...I actually thought I could do it. It's foolish, I know it I'll try to outgrow it But meanwhile It's my blanket... ALL: And me (5x) Lucy (to Linus): You think youre so smart with that blanket. What are you going to do with it when you grow up? Linus: Maybe Ill make it into a sport coat. (Holds the blanket up high) Snoopy comes up to Linus and grabs Linus blanket in his mouth and drags Linus off from one end of the stage to the other. Linus and Snoopy engage in a tog-o-war and Linus loses his grip and falls into the snow. A snow avalanche sails over him. He help him to his feet covered in snow. He notice Snoopy with his blanket and chase him, everyone follows. (light down)

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SCENE 2
Mail Box moved to front, Snoopys Dog house, Psychiatric Stand and sign removed from School door. Cut to Charlie Brown at home, standing at the window watching the snow fall. He puts his coat on and goes outside to check the mailbox he opens and looks in: Charlie Brown: Hello in there! (Stands angrily next to the empty mailbox) Rats! Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. (Begins walking) I almost wish there werent a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it? (meets up with Pig Pen and Violet.) Charlie Brown: Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Violet. Violet: I didnt send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown: Dont you know sarcasm when you hear it? (Charlie Brown walks away and comes to a large snowman. Pig Pen appears from behind the snowman, patting snow into place) Charlie Brown: Pig Pen, youre the only person I know who can raise a cloud of dust in a snowstorm. Charlie Brown walks along and stops at Snoopys doghouse. A tall pile of bones rises from the dog dish. Snoopy reads a newspaper and occasionally takes a born from the stack and munches it. Charlie Brown continues walking and meets Schroeder, Patty, Lucy, Sally, and Linus standing in the light snowfall. Paddy: Try to get snowflakes on your tongue. Its fun. Lucy: Mmm. Needs sugar. Its too early. I never eat December snowflakes. I always wait until January. Linus: They sure look ripe to me. (All exit except Schroeder and Lucy asCharlie Brown walks over to Lucys psychiatric booth. Cut to Schroeder and Lucy Schroeder (to Lucy): I think you have a customer. (Lucy dashes over to the booth) Lucy: May I help you? Song: The Doctor Is In Charlie Brown: Oh, Lucy. I'm so depressed. I don't know what to do. Lucy: I think what you need most of all, Charlie Brown, is to come right out and admit all of the things that are wrong with you. Charlie Brown: All right, I'll try I'm not very handsome or clever, or lucid, I've always been stupid at spelling and numbers. I've never been much playing football or baseball Or stickball, or checkers, or marbles, or ping-pong

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I'm usually awful at parties and dances, I stand like a stick or I cough, or I laugh, Or I don't bring a present, or I spill the ice cream Or I get so depressed that I stand and I scream... Oh, how could there possibly be One small person as thoroughly, totally, utterly Blah as me. [LUCY] Well, that's ok for a starter. [CHARLIE BROWN] A starter? [LUCY] Certainly. You don't think that mentioning these few superficial failings is going to do you any good, do you? Why, Charlie Brown, You really have to delve. You're stupid, self-centered and moody [CHARLIE BROWN] I'm moody [LUCY] You're terribly dull to be with (Snoopy enters) [CHARLIE BROWN] Yes I am. And nobody likes me, Not Frieda, or Shermy, or Linus, or Schroeder[LUCY] Or Lucy. [CHARLIE BROWN] Or Lucy. [LUCY] Or Snoopy. (Shakes head) [CHARLIE BROWN] Or SnWait a minute. Snoopy likes me.

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[LUCY] He only pretends to like you because you feed him. That doesn't count. [CHARLIE BROWN] (Nods head) Or Snoopy. Oh why- was I born just to be One small person as thoroughly, totally, utterly[LUCY] Wait! You're not very much of a person... [CHARLIE BROWN] That's certain [LUCY] And yet there's a reason for hope. [CHARLIE BROWN] There's hope? [LUCY] For although you are no good at music, Like Schroeder, or happy like Snoopy, Or lovely like me, You have the distinction to be No one else but the singular, remarkable, unique Charlie Brown. [CHARLIE BROWN] I'm me! [LUCY] Yes- it's amazingly true, For whatever it's worth, Charlie Brown, You're you. [CHARLIE BROWN] Gosh, Lucy you know something. I'm beginning to feel better already. You're a true friend, Lucy, a true friend. [LUCY] That'll be five cents, please. Charlie Brown digs a nickel out of his pocket and drops it in the can with a clink.

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Lucy: Boy what a sound. How I love hearing that old money plate, that beautiful sound of cold, hard cash. That beautiful, beautiful sound. Nickels, nickels, nickels. That beautiful sound of plunking nickels. All right, now, what seems to be your trouble? Charlie Brown: I feel depressed. I know I should be happy, but Im not. Lucy: Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you are not too far-gone. I think wed better pinpoint your fears. If we can find out what youre afraid of, we can label it. Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hypengyophobia. Charlie Brown: I dont think thats quite it. Lucy: How about cats? If youre afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia Charlie Brown: Well, sort of, but Im not sure. Lucy: Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is the fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia? Charlie Brown: Whats pantophobia? Lucy: The fear of everything. Charlie Brown: (shouts) Thats it! (Lucy is blown off her chair onto the ground) Charlie Brown: Actually, Lucy, my trouble is Christmas. I just dont understand it. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down. Lucy: You need involvement. You need to get involved in some real Christmas project. How would you like to be the director of our Christmas play? Charlie Brown: Me? You want me to be the director of the Christmas play? Lucy: Sure, Charlie Brown. We need a director. You need involvement. Weve got a shepherd, musicians, animals, everyone we need. Weve even got a Christmas Queen. Charlie Brown: I dont know anything about directing a Christmas play. Lucy: Dont worry. Ill be there to help you. Ill meet you at the auditorium. Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. (Charlie Brown watches Snoopy walk past) It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or cloths or something like that. Charlie Brown: What is it you want? Lucy: Real Estate. They both watch Snoopy walk past carrying a box of Christmas lights and decorations. Charlie Brown follows him. Snoopy begins building a crazy display that covers his doghouse. 18

Charlie Brown: Whats going on here? (Snoopy hands him a piece of paper) Whats this? (Reading) Find the true meaning of Christmas. Win money, money, money. Spectacular, super colossal, neighborhood Christmas lights and display contest. (Looks up from the paper). Lights and display contest! Oh, no. My own dogs gone commercial. I cant stand it! Charlie Brown throws paper in the air and walks away. Meets Sally who is holding a clipboard and pen. Sally: Ive been looking for you, big brother. Will you please help me write a letter to Santa Claus? Charlie Brown: Well, I dont have much time. Im supposed to get down to the school auditorium and direct the Christmas play. Sally: You write it and Ill tell you what I want it to say. Charlie Brown: Okay, shoot. Sally: Dear Santa Claus, howve you been? How is your wife? Did you have a nice summer? I wish it was. I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want. Charlie Brown: Oh, brother. Sally: Please note the size and color of each item and send as many as possible. If it seems to complicated, make it easy on yourself Just send money. How about tens and twenties? Charlie Brown: Tens and twenties? Oh, even my baby sister! Sally: All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share. Charlie Brown: Good Grief Fade out.

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SCENE THREE
Joyce: Oh Sparky, that is a wonderful story, it is just like Charlie Brown to be a blockhead. Sometimes he reminds me of some other lovable blockhead I know. (nudges Charles Schultz affectionately) Charles: Well here is the rest, Charlie Brown and Lucy are going to head over to the school auditorium for the first rehearsal when.(phone rings) Oh, that will be the studio, I will get it. Hello Jon Steel: (Obnoxious and loud) Schultz, is that you, Schultz? Can you hear me? (Looks at receiver) Lousy contraptions, Schultz, its Jon Steel from CBS, listen; I need to talk to you about the Christmas special. Charles: Sure, Ive talked to my agent Claire already, what seems to be the problem? Jon Steel: Listen, we love it, we absolutely love it, that Snoopy and Woodstock, Ha (loud), they get me all the time. But that is beside the point; we want you to make some changes before we give it the final studio approval for air. Charles: What kind of changes? Jon Steel: Well not many, just the ending, it isnt what we were looking for. Charles: What do you mean? Jon Steel: Well you see, in the day we live, people are looking for connection. People are looking for meaning; people are looking for purpose, so the studio wants you to change the ending from what you have to Charlie Brown actually getting presents and cards from all the Peanuts Gang. What do you think a little love note from the Little Red Haired Girl will make everyone shed tears and our ratings will be through the roof! Charles: Well let me think about it for a day and I will get back to you. Jon Steel: Think and sink, that is my motto; today is the day for action. Listen, because I like you, Ill give you a few hours, but dont sit on it too long, it has to be done and in the can by next month. I feelthis could be a great thing for the studio, huge ratings, huge. (Hangs up) Joyce: So what do they want you to change? Charles: (quietly) Everything. Joyce: What do you mean? Charles: They want me to change the ending, to something that keeps with the modern spirit. They want to turn it into a happy Christmas story, not a message that so many people need to hear. I cantno, I WONT change it. Joyce: Charles, Charles, slow down. Finish the story for me and I will be the judge of it!

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SCENE FOUR
Open to new scene at the auditorium. Kids are all over the stage dancing to jazz music. Cut to Lucy. Lucy: All right, quiet, everybody! Our director will be here any minute and well start rehearsal. Pepperment Paddy: Director? What director? Lucy: Charlie Brown. Violet: Oh, no! Were doomed! Paddy: This will be the worst Christmas play ever. Lucy: Well, if you have that kind of attitude, you will mess up the most important part: the appearance of the Christmas Queen! Alright Schroder, take it away! Schroeder: Remember, this is a mood piece. We must paint a picture with music and words.and concentrate! Remember... Adagio con brio. (plunk keys) ALL BOYS 12 Days of Christmas (Glee Club)

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree. On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christ-On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five golden rings - four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me

9 ladies dancing 8 maids a milking 7 swans a swimming 6 geese a laying

8 maids a milking 7 swans a swimming 6 geese a laying 5

You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout-- in a pear tree On the ninth-- NO! On the eighth-- NO! On the seventh day of Christmas - Deck the halls with boughs of holly and a partridge in a pear tree

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Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me Rudolph the red nosed reindeer! No, No No

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me-Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh On the 12th day, the mighty 12th day my true love gave to me 12 drummers drumming 11 pipes a piping, 10 lords a lea--ping Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh 9 ladies dancing 8 maids a milking, and 6 geese laying eggs for me Ee-e-e-um-um-a-weh

And a partridge in a pear tree

Lucy: Here he comes! Attention, everyone! Heres our director. General applause from the group except for one boo, which appears to be from Snoopy. Charlie Brown looks at him: Charlie Brown: Mans best friend. (Charlie Brown walks over to the directors chair and addresses the kids) Charlie Brown: Well, its real good seeing you here. As you know, we are going to put on the Christmas play. Due to the shortage of time, well get right down to work. One of the first things to ensure a good performance, pay strict attention to the director. Ill keep my direction simple. If I point to the right, it means focus attention stage right. If I make a slashing motion across my throat, it means cut the scene short. If I make a revolving motion with my hand, it means pick up the tempo. If I spread my hands apart, it means slow down. Its the spirit of the actors that counts. The interest that they show in their director. Am I right? I said, am I right? Cut to kids dancing wildly toLinus and Lucy music. Charlie Brown picks up a megaphone. 22

Charlie Brown: Stop the music! All right, now. Were going to do this play and were going to do it right. Lucy, get those costumes and scripts and pass em out. Now, the script girl will be handing out your parts Lucy walks over Frieda and hands her a script and a costume. Lucy: Youre the innkeepers wife. Frieda: (Bouncing her curls in her hand) Did the innkeepers wives have naturally curly hair? Lucy walks over to Pig Pen and hands him a script and a costume. Lucy: Pig Pen, youre the innkeeper. Pig Pen: In spite of my outward appearance, I shall try to run a neat inn. Lucy walks over to Schermy and hands him a script and a costume. Lucy: Shermy, youre a shepherd Shermy: Every Christmas its the same. I always end up playing a shepherd. Lucy walks over to Snoopy and hands him a script. Lucy: Snoopy, youll have to be all the animals in our play. Can you be a sheep? Snoopy: Baaaaaa! Lucy: How about a cow? Snoopy: Moooo! Lucy: How about a penguin? (Snoopy walks around with his arms stiffly at his side, making clicking sounds with his feet) Lucy: Yes, hes even a good penguin. (Snoopy mugs around, acting our different animals, and sits on top of Lucys lap) Lucy: No, no, no! (Snoopy falls on to the floor) Lucy: Listen all of you. (Snoopy stands behind Lucy and imitates her as she speaks to the group.) Lucy: Youve got to take direction. Youve got to have discipline! Youve got to have respect for your director! Lucy turns around and catches Snoopy making fun of her. Lucy: I ought to slug you! (Snoopy kisses her)

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Lucy: Ugh! Ive been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine! Snoopy: Aagh! Cut to Charlie Brown with the megaphone. Charlie Brown: All right, all right, script girl. Continue with the scripts. Lucy walks over to Linus. Lucy: Linus, youve got to get rid of that stupid blanket. She hands him a script and costume Lucy: And here, memorize these lines. Linus: I cant memorize these lines. This is ridiculous. Lucy: Memorize it and be ready to recite when your cue comes. Linus: I cant memorize something like this so quickly. Why should I be put through such agony? Give me one good reason why I should memorize this. Lucy: Ill give you five good reasons (She makes a fist, one finger at a time) One, two, three, four, five. Linus: Those are good reasons. Christmas is not only getting too commercial, its getting too dangerous. Lucy: And get rid of that stupid blanket! Whats a Christmas shepherd going to look like holding a stupid blanket like that? Linus: Well, this is one Christmas shepherd whos going to keep his trusty blanket with him. Linus quickly drapes his blanket over his head. Linus : See? You wouldnt hit an innocent shepherd, would you? Cut to Charlie Brown, trying to hold back his temper. Lucy approaches him. Lucy: Okay, Mr. Director. The cast is set. Take over. Charlie Brown: All right. Lets have it quiet. Places everybody, Schroeder set the mood for the first scene. Schroeder begins playing Linus and Lucy which sets the kids off dancing again. Charlie Brown: Cut! Cut! No, no, no! Walks over to Frieda and Pig Pen. 24

Charlie Brown: Look. Lets rehearse the scene at the inn. Frieda Frieda: This cant go on. Theres too much dust. Its taking the curl out of my naturally curly hair. Charlie Brown: Dont think of it as dust. Think of it as maybe the soil of some great, past civilization. Maybe the soil of ancient Babylon. It staggers the imagination. You may be carrying soil that was trod upon by Solomon. Or even Nebuchadnezzar! Pig Pen: Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesnt it? Frieda: Youre an absolute mess. Just look at yourself. Pig Pen: On the contrary, I didnt think I looked that good. Cut to Charlie Brown and Linus. Charlie Brown: Sally, come here. Linus: What do you want her for? Charlie Brown: Shes going to be your wife. Linus: Good grief. Cut to Sally, clapping her hands gleefully, surrounded by hearts. She walks over to Linus and leans her head on his shoulder. Sally: Isnt he the cutest thing? He has the nicest sense of humor. Lucy: Supper break, Supper break.. Charlie Brown: Supper time? What? (Snoopy enters with his dish, kicking it and playing with it.)
Suppertime? Suppertime? Snoopy runs onto the stage dressing in a bowtie and top hat BEHOLD A BRIMMING BOWL OF MEAT AND MEAL. WHICH IS BROUGHT FORTH TO EASE OUR HUNGER BEHOLD THE FLOWING FLAGON MOIST AND SWEET WHICH HAS BEEN SENT TO SLAKE OUR THIRST. CHARLIE BROWN: Okay there is no need to a big production! Just get down here and eat!

DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

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IT'S SUPPERTIME. YEAH IT'S SUPPERTIME. OH, IT'S SUP-SUP- SUPPERTIME, VERY BEST TIME OF DAY. IT'S SUPPERTIME YEAH, IT'S SUP-PER-TIME AND WHEN SUPPER TIME COMES, CAN SUPPER BE FAR AWAY? BRING ON THE SOUP DISH, BRING ON THE CUP. BRING ON THE BACON AND FILL ME UP! CAUSE IT'S SUPPER SUPPER, SUPPER, SUPPERTIME! (He whistles and then does a little bit of scat BA DA DA DOO DA BA DA DA BA DA DA) SUPPERTIME. DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOOT BR-R-RING ON THE DOG FOOD, BRING ON THE BONE BRING ON THE BARREL AND ROLL ME HOME. CAUSE ITS SUPPER SUPPER, SUPPER, SUPPER SUPPER SUPER PEPPER-UPPER SUPPER SUPER-DUPER SUPPERTIME WINTERTIME'S NICE WHEN ITS ICE AND SNOW. SUMMERTIME'S NICE WITH A PLACE TO GO. BEDTIME, OVER TIME, HALF TIME TOO BUT THEY JUST CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO. . . MY SUPPERTIME. OH YEAH. . . . Hello home listeners, how are ya? BR-R-ING ON THE HAMBURG BRING ON THE BUN PAPPY'S LITTLE PUPPY LOVES EV'RYONE! CAUSE IT'S SUPPER SUPPER SUPPER SUPPER SUPPER SUPER PEPPER UPPER SUPPER SUPER DUPER SUPPERTIME SNOOPY: C'mon, bring on the meat... It's time to eat... Bring on the food... Bring on the hamburg...

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Bring on the hot dog... Bring on the doctor... CHORUS: SUPPERTIME (x 14) (Suddenly, the off stage voices stop, and Snoopy is alone singing) GIMME FOOD, GIMME WATER, GIMME SOMETHIN' TO CHEW! GIMME FOOD, GIMME WATER, GIMME SOMETHIN' TO DO! CHARLIE BROWN: NOW CUT THAT OUT!!!! Now, why can't you eat your meal quietly and calmly like any other normal dog? SNOOPY: So what's wrong with making mealtime a joyous occasion? SUPPER SUPPER SUPPER SUPPERRRRRRRRR-TIME!!!!!

CHARLIE BROWN: All right, now. Theres no time for foolishness. Weve got to get on with our play. LUCY: Thats right. What about my part? What about the Christmas Queen? Hmm? Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste? You do think Im beautiful, dont you, Charlie Brown? You didnt answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didnt you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right up. I know when Ive been insulted. I know when Ive been insulted! Lucy turns around a pouts Charlie Brown: That does it. Now, look. If were ever to get this play off the ground, youve got to have some cooperation. Lucy: Whats the matter, Charlie Brown? Dont you think its great? Charlie Brown: Its all wrong. Lucy: Look, Charlie lets face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. Its run by a big eastern syndicate, you know. Charlie Brown: Well, this is one play that is not going to be commercial. Lucy: Look, Charlie Brown. What do you want? Charlie Brown: The proper mood. We need a Christmas tree. Lucy: Hey, perhaps a tree: a great, big, shiny, aluminum Christmas tree. Thats it, Charlie Brown! You get the tree. Ill handle this crowd. The group gathers around them. 27

Charlie Brown: Okay. Ill take Linus, Peppermint Paddy and Marcie with me. The rest of you, practice your lines. Lucy: Get the biggest aluminum tree you can find, Charlie Brown. Maybe paint it pink. Patty: Yeah. Do something right for a change, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown, Linus, Peppermint Paddy, and Marcie walk away SONG Little Drummer Boy Cut to Charlie Brown, Linus, Peppermint Paddy, and Marcie walking Charlie Brown: I dont know. I just dont know. Well, I guess wed better concentrate on finding a nice Christmas tree. Linus: I suggest we try those searchlights, Charlie Brown. They enter a Christmas tree lot and Linus knocks on an aluminum tree, making a metallic clinking sound. Marcie: This really brings Christmas close to a person. Charlie Brown: Fantastic! Pan shot of various color trees. Zoom to tiny pine tree on a wooden stand. Peppermint Paddy: Gee, do they still make real Christmas trees? Marcie: This little green one here seems to need a home. Linus: I dont know, Charlie Brown. Remember what Lucy said? This doesnt seem to fit the modern spirit. Charlie Brown: I dont care. Well decorate it and it will be just right for our play. Besides, I think it needs me.

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SCENE FIVE
Cut to Schroeder at the piano with Lucy, Paddy, Frieda, Violet, and Charlotte leaning on the far end of the piano. Schroeder: This is the music I have selected for the Christmas play. Plays Beethovens Fur Elise Charlotte: What kind of Christmas music is that? Schroeder: Beethoven Christmas music. Violet: What has Beethoven got to do with Christmas? Everyone talks about how great Beethoven was. Beethoven wasnt so great. Schroeder: (Angry) What do you mean Beethoven wasnt so great? Freida: Did he have naturally curly hair? No, he worn a wig, a man wig Paddy: He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? Hmm? How can you say someone is great whos never had his picture on bubble gum cards? Schroeder Good grief! Begins to play jazz. Enter Snoopy, who dances around on top of the piano. He keeps dancing after Schroeder stopped playing. Once he realizes the music has stopped and that Schroeder is glaring at them, he blushes and slinks off. Schroeder begins playing Fur Elise Lucy: Say, by the way, can you play Jingle Bells? (Schroeder plays Jingle Bells in classical style) Lucy: No, no. I mean Jingle Bells. You know, deck the halls and all that stuff . (He plays with an organ sound.) Lucy: No, no. You dont get it at all. I mean Jingle Bells. You know, Santa Claus and ho, ho, ho and mistletoe and presents to pretty girls (He taps out the melody with one finger.) Lucy: (Shouts) Thats it! Schroeder is blown of his seat cut to auditorium. Charlie brown sets the tree on top of Schroeders piano. Charlie Brown: Were back! The kids gather around, astounded at the sad little tree. Violet: Boy, are you stupid, Charlie Brown. Paddy: What kind of tree is that? 29

Charlotte: You were supposed to get a good tree. Can you even tell a good tree from a poor tree? Violet: I told you hed goof it up. Hes not the kind you can depend on to do anything right. Paddy: Youre hopeless, Charlie Brown. Freida: Completely hopeless. Charlie Brown: Rats! Lucy: Youve been dumb before, Charlie Brown. But this time, you really did it. Kids and Snoopy laugh. Lucy: What a tree! Kids walk away, except for snoopy, who continues to laugh, then exits. Linus approaches Charlie Brown Charlie Brown: I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldnt have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. (Unhinged) Isnt there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about? Linus: Sure, Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about. Linus walks to center stage, dragging his blanket. Linus: Lights, please? Auditorium lights dim and spot shines on Linus. Song: Hark the Herald Angels Sing (humming at first) Linus: (during Hark the Herald Angels Sing) And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of the Lord shown around them. And they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, goodwill toward men. Linus picks up blanket and exits stage left. He then approaches Charlie Brown. Linus: Thats what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown picks up the little the little tree and walks out, past the group of quiet kids. Enters the dark outdoors and gazes up at the stars while remembering Linus words. Linus (Echo of previous speech) ... for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you.

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Charlie Brown: Linus is right. I wont let all this commercialism ruin my Christmas. Ill take this little tree home and decorate it and Ill show them it really will work in our play. Fade out as Charlie walks into the distance. Light up on Snoopys doghouse Cut to Snoopys crazily decorated doghouse. Charlie brown looks at the 1st Prize ribbon. Charlie Brown: First prize? Oh, well, this commercial dog is not going to ruin my Christmas! Charlie Brown happily sets the tree down. Picks an ornament from the doghouse and hangs it on the little tree. Tree slumps way over from the weight of the bulb. Charlie Brown: I've killed it! (Complete disgust and resignation) Oh, everything I touch gets ruined! (Charlie Brown exits, leaving the sad little tree. Kids enter and gather around the tree.) Franklin: I never thought it was such a bad little tree. (Linus pulls up the droopy branch, straightens it and wraps his blanket around the base of the tree) Pig Pen: It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love. (Pan to kids, tree and decorated dog house. The kids take ornaments from dog house and decorate the tree, transforming it into a lush, beautiful Christmas tree.) Charlotte: Charlie Brown is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree. Kids hum Song: O Little Town of Bethlehem Enter Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown: Whats going on here? Children: (shout in unison) Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown! Charlie Brown smiles and joins the festivities. Kids sing: Song: Hark the Heralds Angels Sing Hark, the herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn King! Peace on Earth and mercy mild, God and sinner reconciled. Joyful, all ye nations, rise! Join the triumph of the skies! With angelic host proclaim: Christ is born in Bethlehem, Hark, the herald angels sing, Glory to the newborn King. 31

EPILOUGE
As choir sings, the lights come on Schultzs home as Charles finishes his conversation on the phone. Charles: Yes Mr. Steel, I appreciate the concerns of the Studio, but I am not compromising on my story. It is a message that I believe in and if you dont want to air it, fine! But I will not budge, in fact. What did you say, you like a man with convictions, firm, bold. Well that is nice Mr. Steel but, dont change a thing? Youll take care of it? OK, thanks Jon, I look forward to hearing from Claire before production in the spring. Charles: Sorry Joyce, I didnt get a chance to ask you what you thought of the ending. Joyce: Oh Charles (she looks like she could burst into tears) Charles: Joyce, are you OK? Joyce: It is beautiful, the best story ever. Charles: (blushing) Thank you Joyce, you liked the ending? Joyce: It is the message that so many people need to hear. Charles: Well Joyce, I figure, if we dont tell the Christmas story the way it is supposed to be told, than who will? (Lights come up on whole assembly.) Song: Happiness Happiness istinsel and candles Candy cane treats, decorating the tree Happiness ishugs from your family The Christmas carols, slightly off key Happiness is angels who told of the Saviors birth And happiness is sharing peace on earth Happiness isthe hillside shepherds Who saw the glory, the star in the sky Happiness iswise men who travelled To find the Baby, gifts from all three Happiness is angels who told of the Saviors birth And happiness is sharing peace on earth Happiness is grandmas and grandpas Aunties and uncles too And happinessis knowing that God sent His Son to live In me and you EVERYONE Youre a good man Charlie Brown THE END - Music Bows begins and lights come up for cast bows.

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