Tears of torture

Between the sounds of human's breathings in life, the haunted thoughts inside their minds, in the storm of situations that are falling, and the faith of blind, he has lived something that has got him to the heart beep that you can see through his chest, just by looking at him, and trying to let the sparkle of his deep brown eyes give you a meaning or even a glance of what's swimming in his mind from thoughts, problems and life's responsibilities... Each person in life has done and been through certain circumstances, but at the end each one of those people we are talking about sleeps calmly, put their heavy thoughts on their soft pillows, and think of what they are going to do in their lives. The sun is up, the wind is blowing, it's the next day, it's all about you, what you planed, what you have in mind, what you drew last night for today, nothing can stop destiny from falling, yet,

nobody can be happy instead of you or stop you from what you want, if you have what it takes to be whom you want to be, and that is how the rhythm of life is walking through the path of dreamers in life. A human who looks like any other human in life, a talking soul, a breathing mind, a hurting path, and a responsible father that has studied, lived, and learnt from being alive normally as any other person living on earth. But nobody could handle what he had been through, they couldn't get as wise as he has gotten, they also may haven't continued with faith the way he is even till now. He is a Quraini man, a father of a young soldier, and four roses in this Middle East. Having four girls in his life after his childhood is a sensitive feeling of joy, hurt and complex at the same time, wanting to give them all what he has and owns, trying to be the best he can for them, and show them that no matter how hard life gets, together we can beat any enemy. His son is what he got out of himself, and wants to put him between the laps of happiness and joy, to stay away from hurt, pain, and hate for life as he suffered himself and had to heal his own pain, he wanted to be the one to sew these hurts and heal his kid's from harmed thoughts. This soul I'm talking about is whom I'll live and die for, the one I wish to get deep inside to what it's created from, and understand, my one and only man, my life idol, my happiness and the point I look up to whenever I'm bothered or need faith in life. He is my breath, the man I can't and don't know no matter how close I get to knowing him, a strong breathing bloody soul, and the story that you can't get your eyes off, I

could know what he is feeling from a blink of his eyes, but I still can't get it, is it wonder? Is it faith? Is it a sign I should fallow? I still cannot find out, I need my time to wipe away the shadow that has taken over my thoughts, and I know only he can be there for me to help me. I wish I could just pull my heart out of my chest, hear the arteries being cut to show him how tortured I can be for him, and that being in pain for him is no longer pain , because sacrifice is what I am willing to do all my life to get his heart and mind just for me and feel it till the last breath I can have, he raised me, he held me, cared for me , gave me inspiration in life , showed me my way, and he lived for me , now I know he won't get sad if I told him the truth of what I have inside from senses for him in my life and for his life. We get older as responsibilities remain in their places, and spoilt feelings remain silent. The sound of innocents is all over the spot light centre, the look of the veins in his muscles are what you want to touch from inside, to know what it would feel like if you were the blood that walks all over his body and knows who this human is. Wishing to live with him and go through his experiences all the way beside him, to see him happy, sad, bothered, confused, winning, being himself, working, and playing his role in life as people live. All you want is to be with him, stand beside him, know, and see that he is your hero no matter what is going on, even if he is not winning in life, he will always be a winner in your sight.

He is my dad, my soul, the reason I came to this life, and the only one I will leave life for, the one I look up to, my one and only man, my spirit, my wishes, my strength and weakness point, the lord of my life and the touch of it, the reason I even exist, now and in the feeling of sadness , the spirit of strength, the inspiration of god and the wishes of a daughter, I will go through what he has lived here in my place, where I sit in his heart , smile for giving faith to his life and waiting for my last breath. Life has put him under the life de facto, it has ordered him to sit back and be tortured by the spirits of obeying and willing people that are not treating him the way he should be appreciated for what he is doing and living. That may be the state of lots of living souls out there, but when should the truth speak up for the prayers of peace, justice and human feeling? When there is no longer path to be lost in and you have one way to lead and go with. He is strange, he is strong ,what's in his heart is on his mind , and out as hidden words, he doesn't hide but everything is a revived secret in a world where you know nothing but your true feelings, he's an open silent book , full of categories of secrets and lovely interesting actions .My heart is tap dancing the crazy way, my thoughts are running to far, as time passes by and leads to a near distance that can be reached in some day away from heavy clouds and problems that bite and hurt while you are trying to get out of one life space to go to a wider one, my dad is laughing , but his smile is hid somewhere deep where nobody can see except the only one that has

inspired him with what feelings he can have, his life is all over bright and his emotions are dark, that is how he is deep, and we can't get to the right explanation to describe what his feelings are screaming inside, which is not easy, yet cool to be wondering about something you are willing to find out and discover after being in an age that can make you feel that you are part of this world ,when you can speak out and get to know whoever you desire to know. "Dad" is a meaningful word that people wish to hear from their children when they come to life, learn the meaning of life and who live in it step by step, they get to know what the job of the father is in life, and be part of appreciating whatever comes after that sensitive word from love, care and happiness. Being a father was never easy and it will not be, as if it is all about raising and being responsible of what behavior, they have left in their children's lives, thoughts and souls. He leaves what reflects on them and what they reflect in life. Dad is what life is all about, he could tell me a word that may trap in my mind, thoughts and heart for what he means to me. I may not sleep all night , remembering the tune of his voice swim in the pond of my feelings, because he is my willing in life, the one I want to make happy if it takes me till the last breath in my last day. I will sacrifice with every drizzle that is left in my last breaths for my words to him and only him, he is my love suicide, I am the biggest fan of his life, the one that adores and admires the way he lives and captures himself in the spirits of darkness. I'll be captivated, I'll hang with the arteries of his heart instead

of the gallows of heartaches that hang from above. Inside him I find my way to everything I need, the truth is way ahead me to be leaded by the sponsor of his presence , nothing can stop me from loving this person or talking about him , yet I still didn't get to the right description to show you how deep this person may get, my emotions are on the way to his life and nothing can stop them, the blood in my body is getting warmer as my goals are never fading , I'm in this life and my spirit is lightning up towards his life, I know I can get to him and be better inside him. He could not feel the real meaning of having a father because his own father has passed away when he was still suffering and going through life's hardships. It is hard to be in a position where you see something that belongs to everyone living but still you cannot touch the taste of it or be part of their world as any other human, but life asks us to handle and be patient so we can get some of what we want in life. I can assure you that he feels what it means to be a father and he has been through it all but still is moving on, he has gave us what he hasn't got or had a chance to continue. He has been through work and hard days; he faced many problems from all the sides as: economic problems, social, ethnic, religious, and many other insults that are tamed to be spoken out. Not because he is shamed, because it is enough to say what you have learnt better than speaking out the event in public and realistic life, that is what his life is all about. While he was working in the royal side, where he had cooked as fashion and designed as wallpaper that was

never seen before, he has seen colors of treatment and majors of judgments that made his life a bigger battle to fight of what he wants, continue to be the best he can, and make a man out of himself. They called him by names and let him feel left out but that is what you have to face in life in order to be one of the great wise people breathing on earth. Sometimes it's hard to be OK all the time , and show the people around you that being a good person is easy, so sometimes he decides to be away in place, and we all know that he will never be away in minds or our hearts, he showed us the meaning of gloaming and touching feelings, he gave us the beginning of the road, the key to life and told us to go for what we want and never flow back or regret what we do ,because in each step you are learning, everything you learn is part of life and every part of life is whom you are while you are having something special in it. Time has moved on, memories have shattered, breaths capture inside light spirits, candles are almost out, and the wish of a 50-year-old man has become true. He has been to the level of life and knowing how to make life a softer pillow to rest on, and be part of, dreaming under the touch of the sky, leaving the black shadows behind, he has succeeded and made it through life; he is my loving dad...