Responsible Anger and Culpable Behaviours

RESPONSIBLE ANGER AND CULPABLE BEHAVIOURS IN ADULTS
November 25, 2012
RESPONSIBLE ANGER AND CULPABLE BEHAVIO URS IN ADULTS
UMM SULAIM
RESPONSIBLE ANGER AND CULPABLE BEHAVIOURS IN ADULTS

2
Umm Sulaims Thoughts | http://www.iamummsulaim.wordpress.com
November 25, 2012
Abstract
This paper examines the nature and control of anger. It further examines the consequence of irrational anger in social relations, from an Islamic perspective. The sudden eruption of violent behaviour is an example of uncontrolled anger.
November 25, 2012
Introduction: Anger is a normal human emotion. No one is expected to act as if this emotion is lacking. Rather, we are bound by the rules of decency and social conduct to channel that emotion towards healthy outlets and behaviours.
The Valiant: Strength lies in self-restraint: the ability and willingness to manage anger. This is explained in the words of the Messenger of Allah: The strong man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.1
Responsible Conduct: Not only did the Messenger of Allah exhort us to exercise self-discipline, he also outlined simple steps to fulfil this obligation. One of the easiest to implement is the utterance of Istaazha (seeking refuge with Allah from the accursed Shaytan).2
Walking away from the scene of provocation and aggravation is well recommended
1
Muslim, Book 32, Number 6313 Ibid, Book 32, Number 6316
November 25, 2012
from the action of Ali who after a row with Fatimah his wife left to lie down in the Masjid (Mosque).3 Equally important, we must direct our anger only to the source of the anger and not to innocents. Aishah, the wife of the Prophet and the mother of the Believers said in the long Hadith concerning the false accusation and slander against her, that after she was exonerated by Allah: I was extremely angry. My parents said to me, Get up and go to him (the Prophet). I said, By Allah, I will not do that and will not thank him nor thank either of you, but I will thank Allah Who has revealed my innocence. You have heard this story but you neither denied it nor condemned it (to defend me).4
Expression of Anger: And who is more astray than the one who follows his hawaa (desire) without guidance from Allah?5 A consequence of free-will is the presence of an option to conduct ourselves well, especially once we have been reminded of our responsibilities to good conduct. Abu Masud recounted his reactions during a spell of rage, during which he thrashed his slave and was admonished by the Messenger of Allah: Bear in mind, Abu Mas'ud; verily Allah has more dominance over you than you have over your slave. I (then) said: I would never beat my servant in future. This is a clear indication that wrongful display of anger can be controlled and is
3
5
4
Bukhari Number 1.432 Bukhari, Page 1239 Number 6.281 Qur'an Surah 28, Ayah 50
November 25, 2012
within the personal choice6 of individuals.
Repressed Anger: We are products of our environments, as well as our individual preferences. Repeated experiences of verbal, emotional and physical violence, particularly in childhood will most likely make such behaviours appear acceptable and normal, unless we seek help, spiritual and psychological and explore alternative methods of social interactions. However, seeking help has a prerequisite: acknowledging the years of suppressed anger and hurt. Reluctance to admit we have been hurt leads to disruptive and unstable behaviours.7 Anger should not be destructive8, as we have been cautioned against being overwhelmed by our sentiments. The Messenger of Allah placed following of desires as one of three destructive emotions.9
Crossing the Line: Anger vs. Rage by Jim Platt, page 1 Ibid, page 1 Aslam said, Umar Ibn Al-Khattab said, Do not let your love be a total infatuation. Do not let your
anger be destruction. I asked, How is that? He replied, When you love, you are infatuated like a child. When you hate, you desire destruction for your companion. Adab Al-Mufrad Imam Bukhari, page 174 Number 1322 6 Responsible Anger Management: The Long Bumpy Road by Marian Marion (1993), Page 1
9
Enjoining Right and Forbidding Wrong by Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyya, translated by Salim AbdAllah
Ibn Morgan, page 15
November 25, 2012 Conclusion:
Whoever fails to release his anger through harmless pathways is culpable for his actions. Every adult, therefore responsible for own conduct.
November 25, 2012
References Allah, The Qur'an Abu `Abdullah Ibn Ismail, M. Sahih Al-Bukhari. Converted to PDF format by Bill McLean http://www.mclean.faithweb.com. Retrieved August 2011. Abu `Abdullah Ibn Ismail, M. Adab Al-Mufrad Abul Husain Bin alHajjaj, M. Sahih Muslim. Converted to PDF format by Bill McLean http://www.mclean.faithweb.com. Retrieved August 2011. Ibn Taymiyya. Enjoining Right and Forbidding Wrong, translated by Salim
AbdAllah Ibn Morgan. Retrieved August 21, 2011. Platt, J. Crossing the line: Anger versus rage. Retrieved December 21, 2011. Marion, M.(1993). Responsible anger management: The long bumpy road. Retrieved December 21, 2011.

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RESPONSIBLE ANGER AND CULPABLE BEHAVIOURS IN ADULTS

November 25, 2012