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Failure Exemption

Instructions: When the company has experienced a setback that may negatively affect your work situation, complete this
form and post it outside your office or cubicle before your supervisor starts looking for you.
Complete a separate form for each failure. Note: For more than three failures, consider omitting forms and simply quitting.

Your name: __________________________________________ Position/role: _______________________________________

I [was] / [may possibly be] blamed for the following failure:

Date/time of failure: Possible unjust pretext(s) for blaming me:


__________________________________  future/hypothetical  seemingly incriminating memo, e-mail, or conversation
 grossly/wilfully misinterpreted  I never sent/said it
Type(s) of failure [check all that apply]:
 attitude  hygiene  attendance  taste in music
 performance  schedule  budget  personnel
 race/creed/color  disability  unfortunate haircut
 demeanor  personal hygiene  faith in humanity
 just looked at _____________________ the wrong way
Scope of failure:  Other: ________________________________________
 project  event  incident  behavior  organization
 relationship  doctrine  philosophy/belief system I am blameless for this/these reason(s):
 fiscal year  entire company forevermore  other  I am in management
 I am not in management
Description of failure:  I was just following orders
____________________________________________________  my co-workers, not that I want to go into detail
____________________________________________________
 excessive workload  excessive playload  exhaustion
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________  amnesia  disability  disease or injury  children
____________________________________________________  I knew nothing/nobody told me anything
____________________________________________________  despite my repeated requests
____________________________________________________  Other: ____________________________________________

[Optional] Blame should instead fall on this/these more deserving target(s):

Target name Position/role Reason Importance of role in failure

[Optional] I suggest this/these punishment(s) for the deserving target(s):


 taunting  breakroom dishwashing  push-ups (#: _____)  reprimand  demotion  dismissal  a day in the stocks
 all-hands company meeting where target(s) is/are forced to debase themselves like audience members at a stage hypnosis show
 something involving this implement(s): _______________________________________  I don’t know, use your imagination

Copyright ©2009 Ninjalistics. Written by Allen Varney. Find new ways to evade responsibility with the many forms available free at www.ninjalistics.com