1

Divorce and Remarriage

1. Introduction. Divorce is the dissolution of a marriage. In the West, the statistics often quoted is one out of every 2 marriages end up in a divorce. Instead of marriage, couples are living-in. This lifestyle is further reinforced and influenced by the rich, the famous, sport superstars and film stars. While divorces seem to be an increasing problem in the western societies, the divorce rate in Malaysia amongst the non-Christians is increasing. As a result of secular divorces, which are legal under the law, Christian couples faced with marital problems are looking to divorce as a possible way out to resolve marital problems and conflicts.

2. The Dilemma Many churches in Malaysia today are at a cross road as to whether divorce is biblical and remarrying adulterous. The landscape of the Christian homes will be changing. The western influences and the secular pressure are creeping into the Christian homes. The husbands, the wives and the children will suffer life-long emotional hurts and deep psychological scars as a result of divorces. In view of the above, it is a dilemma to decide whether it is morally right: To disallow divorce and remarriage, To allow divorce and remarriage citing irreconcilable differences, or To allow divorce and remarriages only under certain circumstances?

2 3. Views on Divorce and Remarriage 3.1 The 4 Christian Views Due to the differences in exegesis and interpretation there are 4 positions on divorce and remarriage. These are: 1. No divorce and no remarriage 2. Divorce for marital unfaithfulness and desertion, no remarriage 3. Divorce and remarriage for marital unfaithfulness and desertion 4. Divorce and remarriage for a variety of circumstances. 3.2 Exception clause The major reason for the 4 positions in section 3.1 above is the exegesis and interpretation of the so called exception clause (underlined below) and the original Greek words used in 2 verses in the Gospel of Matthew. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery (Mt 5:32). I tell that anyone that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery (Mt 19:9). 3.3 Porneia and Moicheia The original Greek word used in the exception clause for marital unfaithfulness is the word porneia, whereas in the case of adultery the Greek word is moicheia. Some authors tried to compare the 2 terms and how they are used in both the NT and OT shown in Table 1 below:

Table 1: Comparing Adultery and Fornication Adultery OT NT Differences naap moicheia Usually refers to men Relationship with a married person not spouse Not a professional prostitute Death penalty appropriate Similarities Both are forbidden by God Both are used figuratively to represent spiritual and moral unfaithfulness in Gods people Both merit and will receive divine punishment.
(Source: House, H. Wayne, ed. Divorce and Remarriage: Four Christian Views Illinois: Inter Varsity Press, 1990, p.230)

Fornication zanah porneia Usually refers to women Relationship outside marriage Often a professional prostitute Death penalty not appropriate

4. Delimitation For the current study, it will be over demanding to expect the student to be able to study this topic greater width and depth which will require an understanding of the lexicon and sentence syntax of the Greek language and the working knowledge of the following disciplines: 1. Philology 2. Etymology. Therefore for the purpose of this study, the student will use the standard hermeneutical and exegetical approach to interpret the NIV texts used.

4 5. Biblical Response: 5.1 The Institution of Marriage 1. Marriage is ordained by God Marriage was ordained by God from the beginning. God created man, male and female in His image (Gen 1:27-28). And a man will leave his father and mother and to be united to his wife (Gen 2:24). 2. God ordained sexual union In Gen 2:24, the husband and wife are to be unite and become one flesh. Paul in 1Cor 6:15-17 clarify that one flesh implied sexual union in marriage. God commanded fruitfulness (Gen 1:19). 3. Marriage is a covenant before God. God is the witness to the marriage (Mal 2:14) and God join them together (Mt 19:6). 4. Marriage is a life long commitment to one another. The married woman is bound to her husband for as long as he lives (Rom 7:2) until he dies. No one should separate a marriage (Mt 19:6). 5. Marriage is not eternal. Marriage is temporal and at the resurrection, people will neither be married nor given in marriage (Mt 22:30). 6. Marriage is to be monogamous. Marriage fidelity is expected (1Tim 3:2). Each man is to have one wife and each wife one husband (1Cor 7:2). 7. Marriage faithfulness. Marriages are to be faithful and pure as in the typological marriage of Christ and the Church (Eph 5:32).

5 5.2 The Biblical view of Divorce 1. Gods original will Divorce violates Gods original design for marriage (Mt 19:8). What God has joined together, let man not separates (Mt 19:6). By law a woman is bound to a man until he dies (Rom 7:2). 2. Breaks the vows made before God Divorce is breaking the marriage vows taken before God (Mal 2:14; Pro 2:17) 3. God hate divorce Divorce is not Gods will and ideal. Mosses in the OT permitted divorce due to the hardness of mans heart. It is clear in Malachi that God hate divorce (Mal 2:16). 4. Jesus condemned divorce Jesus condemned divorce in Mk 10:1-9 and Lk16:18. Both passages do not contain the exception clause. 5 Paul taught against divorce A woman must not separate from her husband and a husband must not divorce his wife (1Cor 7:10-11) and a wife is bound to the husband for as long as he lives (1 Cor 7: 39). 6. Divorcee cannot hold church positions Elders, overseers (bishops) and deacons must be men of one wife (1Tim 3:2). This implied divorce is a serious matter in church discipline. 7. Divorce violates the typology of Christ and the Church In Ephesians, Paul liken the husband as the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church; and the husband to love the wife, as Christ love the church and give himself for her (Eph 5:32).

5.3 The Biblical view of Remarriage 1. Remarriage is adultery if spouse is alive In Lk16:18 and Mk10:11-12, it is clear that remarriage is an act of adultery and adultery is punishable by death in the OT. In both these passages, the authors did not record Jesus quoting the exception clause. 2. No divorce and therefore no remarriage In Mt19:6 Jesus said: Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate. If man cannot break a marriage, as in divorce, then there will be no remarriage. 3. Paul taught against remarriage In 1Cor 7:10-11, Paul wrote that if a wife is divorced from her husband, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. 4. Remarriage is only allowed if husband dies A married woman is bound to her husband by law as long as he lives. Therefore any remarriages when the husband is alive, she is guilty of adultery. She is only free to remarry without sin only after her husband is dead (1Cor 7:39; Rom 7:2,3). 5. Celibacy Paul taught in 1Cor 7, widows, divorcees and spouses of desertion might be better to live as single and to give themselves for Gods work instead of seeking remarriage.

7 5.4 The Exception Clause Interpretation The interpretation of the exception clause will follow the exegesis rule will as follow: 1. Interpret Scripture in the light of the context of the passage 2. Interpret Scripture with Scripture 3. Interpret Scripture with the overall teaching of the Bible. In the light of the context and culture then, the book of Matthew was written for the Jews. Many scholars interpreted the exception clause and the word porneia as to mean fornication or sexual immorality before marriage. The same word was used in Mt 15:19 alongside moicheia or adultery. In Mt 1:18-20, Joseph resolved to divorce Mary because she was pregnant with a child, presumably out of fornication. It was customary in the Jewish culture then to be betrothed. Since they have not consummated their marriage, it is acceptable to break (divorce) the betrothal. Or in todays language to call off the engagement and marriage. Comparing Mt 19:9 and Mt 5:32 to parallel accounts in Mk 10:11,12 and Lk 16:18, the exception clause was probably inserted by Matthew to absolve Joseph for his decision to divorce (or call off the engagement with) Mary in Mt 1:18-20. Again interpreting Mt 5:32 and Mt 19:9 in the light of 1Cor 7:10-13 and Rom 7:2,3 it is very unlikely that the exception clause in Matthew was inserted to distort the teaching of Jesus but rather to emphasis a point to the Jewish reader who understood the significant of the word porneia then. Therefore it can be concluded that the overall teaching in the Bible is: no divorce and no remarriage. The only possible occurrence of a remarriage without sin is upon the death of a spouse.

6. Exceptions to the rule

In the modern day, the bridging principles taught in the time of Jesus and Paul there and then are to be contemporized to the current day situation for application here and now. There are possible circumstances where separation and later divorce are unavoidable. In such situations it might be better for both the husband and wife; and possibly the children, to be separated. The possible exceptions to the no divorce, no remarriage rules are: 1. Adulterous spouse. 2. Desertion by unbelieving spouse (1Cor 7:15) 3. Incense, compulsive gambling, wife and children abuse and battery, alcoholic and drug abuse. In 1Cor 7:11a, Paul explicitly accepted that divorce does happen because of sin. It would be unfairly cruel and legalistic to ask the spouse or children to live with a husband or wife described in point 3 above. It would be also cruel to ask a wife or husband to continue to live with the adulterous and unrepentant husband or wife (point 1). For cases of desertion, Paul taught in 1Cor 7:15, that if a non believing spouse leaves, the believing spouse shall accept the separation but must remain unmarried. Separation may be the necessary positive affirmative actions for these circumstances. However, every effort must be taken to seek reconciliation. The key to reconciliation is agape love and forgiveness for one another. If reconciliation is not possible and a divorce is unavoidable, then the divorce has to carry out amicably and peaceably. However the divorced believer shall not enter into remarriage as this would be adulterous (Mk 10:11,12; Lk17:18; 1Cor 7:10) unless the divorced spouse is no longer alive (1Cor 7:39; Rom 7:2,3).

7. Conclusion
Divorce and remarriage are strictly prohibited in the Bible. In cases of adultery, desertion and dangerous and abusive behavior, separation to save the innocent party and children from undue suffering might be the positive solution to the dilemma. The separation also allows the guilty party time to repent, recover and re-commit his/her walk with God. Remarriage is allowed without sin only when the spouse passes away. For some, celibacy or singleness for the Lords work may be the better way.

References: 1. H. Wayne, ed. Divorce and Remarriage: Four Christian Views Illinois: Intervarsity Press, 1990. (267 pages) 2. Geisler, Norman L. Christian Ethics: Options and Issue. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1989, pp. 277-292. (16 pages) 3. Clark, David K. & Robert V. Rakestraw, eds. Readings in Christian Ethics, Vol 2: Issues and Applications. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1996, pp. 225-258. (34 pages) 4. Davis, John J. Evangelical Ethics: Issues Facing the Church Today. 3rd ed. Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed, 2004, pp. 99-112. (14 pages) 5. McQuilkin, Robertson. An Introduction to Biblical Ethics. 2nd ed. Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House, 1995, pp. 204-215. (12 pages) 6. Atkinson, David J. & David H. Field, eds. New Dictionary of Christian Ethics and Pastoral Theology. Illinois: Inter-Varsity Press, 1995, pp. 315-317. (3 pages double columns). 7. Coblentz, John. What the Bible says about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriages. Homepage. <http://www.anabaptists.org/books/mdr>. Accessed 2006 May.(47 pages) 8. Pratte, David E. 1999. Understanding Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage. Homepage. <http://www.biblestudylessons.com>. Accessed 2006 May. (10 pages)

10 9. Project Wittenberg. Divorce and Remarriage: An Exegetical Study. 1987 Nov. Homepage. <http://www.iclnet.org/pub/sources>. Accessed 2006 May. (35 pages) 10. Piper, John. 2006 July 21. Divorce and Remarriage: A Position Paper. <http://www.desiringgod.org>. Accessed 2006 May. (17 pages) 11. Burns, C. Divorce and Remarriage. Homepage. <http://users.aol.com/libcf/divorce htm> Accessed 2006 May.(10 pages) 12. A Statement on Divorce and Remarriage in the Life of Bethlehem. Home page. <http://www.desiringgod.org>. Accessed 2006 May. (13 pages) 13. Louhran, David B. 1999 Dec. Divine Law: Divorce and Remarriage. Home page. <http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk> Accessed 2006 May. (9 pages) 14. Carr, Steven. 2006. Understanding Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage. Homepage. <http://www.covenantkeepers.org>. Accessed 2006 May. (10 pages)