11/04/97 8:27 PM Right on the heels of the Freedom Essay came a chat with Bill, to whom I refered last

night as The Invader, - because of his refusal to comply with my demand that heleave my home after the physical assaults against me by Bill. Over the last few days, Ive notice a few situations in which I saw signs of Bill being sarcastic and nasty and it seemed to me he was leading up to another of the usually unpredictable flare ups in which I am usually subjected to verbal abusem false accustations, scathing criticism and in general a rather unpleasant and draining experience in which I am attacked without provocation. There have been only too many chronciles I have written that have documented my view of the very obvious conflict that exists between me and Bill. I see it in fairly simple terms. I want to live alone and have told Bill this and he refuses to leave. Furthermore, I wish to be free of the physical and verbal assaults. Bill claims that I am responsible foir arousing his anger and causing him toi assault me physically and verbally usually aroused by some conversation about the events of 1976 theu 1986 when all my property was stolen and my children were separated from me. My inner attraction to the solitary life and to the tranquility that comes from sole habitation of my home, as well as the series of eight of more physical assaults on my bodily person by Bill in addition to the numerous verbal assaults going back to the first months of our meeting, make it quite irrevocable that one or both of us has to move from this house. The way I was looking at it last night was that I felt that I experienced a new realization in which it became clearer that the superconscious transcendental intelligence that comes in the form of prajna - naturally - like the feeling of hunger and the feeling of tiredness straight out of the unconscious. The new realization was that a divine and sacred sign was guiding me to continue to act to facilitate the ease with which I can experience absolute and total freedom. Solitary tranquil habitation is the most basic of keys to this state. So it was that the realization came to me that having now acted for freedom and putting an end to the surrender of my freedom to the routine of the corporate demands and moving to this beautiful,

tranquil place and having experienced the enormous value of this act I feel complelled to continue to act in accord with the inner feeling that attracts me and to do as I want and at this time that means acting to find a place where I can live in sole habitation and that means living in residence where I am alone and do not hear or see Bill and do not have to limit my activities because I might be disturbing him when I make noise in the kitchen or other parts of the house. It was so clear last night that this is the single most importantr task facing me at this time that I decided that I should set a time and if I am not living alone here in this home at that time I will give notice and move to another place. At the time I thought of telling Bill about my decision and asking him to find another place to live and letting him know that if he is still here by (the date to be chosen) I will give notice and move. Since I didnt decide on what that date will be and since I have already asked Bill to find another place to liove because of the assaults and abuses against me by Bill I decided that at this time it is not necessary to tell him anything since I dont really know and under the circumstances I feel no obligation to inform Bill of my plans even though Ive already told him that since he refuses to comply with my wishes and is illegally present in my home I will move to another to be free of these abuses,, invasions of privacy, disturbances of my peace and constant scrutiny. I find that when I write about like this and see the whole of the situation and the whole of the experiences of the last ten years since Ive known Bill, it becomes crystal clear that I am being blatantly victimized, abused and in fact subjected to criminal conduct and severely deprived of my just rights as a hu man being.. AT this moment I find myself suspecting that Bills requesr for a chat today may have been motivated by a strategy that involved his desire to scrutinize my state of mind in the hope of his gaining an advantage over me in his strategy of harassment and abuse. My current status is that I am essentally being coerced by threats of violence and threats of all sorts of damaging conduct by Bill to refrain from enforcing my legal right to choose who is in my home by calling the local enforcement officers to assist me. That would be the most common method for responding to the abuse of my rights that Bill is continuing to foist upon me.

I have chosen not to involve law enforcement in both my own and Bills interests. I do not want to see him arrested and I do not want to experience the retribution I expect if I were to seek their assistance. Furthermore I do not believe it would effectively keep him away from my home and there is the possibility of serious bodiuly harm to Bill, the officers and/or myself. 11/04/97 9:36 PM As a result of the experiences I had after meeting Mary, and the deplorable conduct of her gang of Dave, Micky, Jody and Katherine Blagden, Steve Campbell etc. I have found that I seldom accept the appearances of any approach that is made to me by another person and find myself loking for hidden motives when there is suspicious and strange or mysterious conduct. There has never been another person who has engaged in conduct that is near as suspicious, uncertain, ambiguous, strange and mysterious as Bill. Only Marys conduct when taken as a whole is in the same category. So it is second nature to me now to find myself becoming aware of hidden motives for strange conduct that involves the intrusion of another person upon my senses. In Bills case the intrusion is more invasive than any other that I have experienced. It is as close to a total penetration of my life as I have ever experienced. The mysteries and uncerties, the ambiguities and paradoxes are more profound than with any other person I have met with the exception of Mary. I must say that it does make me feel much better when I write like this. I think it helps because it breaks te fixation of a personal interaction of the type that happenned today. On the surface, the appearance as created by Bill was that he wanted to chat about something really important. I suspect that it was a fishing expedition to determine what my view of the situation is to improve his planning of how to continue hois strategy. Since the first intrusion and first impression of Bill upon my senses in 1985, I have had a strong awareness of a very high probability that Bill intruded into my life for the purpose of carrying out a mission that

supports the Save the Earth movement of the counter cultural revolutionary movement. Recent evenst have served to increasingly confirm this awareness that Bill has a concealled motive for invading my life. My attitude from the start has been that even if he is surreptitiously attemting to observe and influence me while pretending to be a friend, my stance is to overlook those motives and to show human kindness and friendship with no ulterior motive in the firm conviction that we are brought together by far more powerful sacred universal intent than any politically oriented revolutionary movement can my righeven be. That all changed when he threw the first punch and split my right upper lip on the evening of September 30th, 1996. I had compassionately tolerated all the abuses he had heaped on me up to that time but I was quite unwilling to tolerate physical assault even if that is what the Christians and the Buddhists teach us. My view is that Bill is connected with a cadre of the Save the Earth politcal revolutionary movement which is motivated by the vast scope of the goal to the extent that they are willing to do whatever it takes to save the Earth even if that means usurping the divine role of making decisions on the life and death of people who they find in their path. Today despite the surface appearance of Bils chat, I find myself left with the statement about his desire to Destroy me. Then there were later cryptic remarks. I see it a further attempt to intimidate me. On the surface Bill created the impression of a person with no place to go. A person with no financial resources. Bill tried to create the impression that the purpose of the chat was to communicate to me his wish to have peace and not to be involved in arguments. I saw a definite indication of a covert strategy aimed at trying to head off the inevitable expulsion from my private inner world of home and family into which Bill has intruded himself without my invitation of my consent. During the last so called argument which was a deliberate and premediated provokation by Bill, after my repeated insistance that

what I want is to live alone, Bill repeatedly informed me that you cant beat me. He refuses to elaborate as he usually does when asked to explain cryptic and ambigous remarks yet the timing of the statement leaves little doubt in my mind that the statement was made to impress upon me that I will be severely punished if I insist on acting to protect my privacy, peace and freedom by excluding Bill in any way from living under the same roof and in constant contact with me. The chat on the surface left me asking what was it all about. Only the concealled motive of a fishing expedition and the continuing strategy of intimidation to enforce Bills continuing invasion of my life can explain the strange Chat. I know beyond a doubt of any kind that Bill is motivated by something other than friendship to invade my life. I know that by the direct experience of his harassment, theft, verbal abuse, physical abuse, disturbance of my peace, invasion of my privacy and deprivation of my freedom of choice. He might even think of himself as a friend and has spent endless hours building his case of his friendly and caring feelings towards me. Yet the reality is that he has continued and continues to today to show a complete and utter disregard for my wishes and my welfare and my freedeom of choice. For me, friendship and caring, love and compassion are squarely rooted in the embrace of and the nurture and unconditional adoration of the freedom of choice of the person whom we might care for or love. There is absolutely no doubt at all in my mind that Bills friendship is a fake friendship and that he has used friendship as a cover for other purposes. What those other purposes are I can only comprehend in terms of probablities without the total certain I have about the counterfeit friendship that Bill has tried to convince me is his motivation for living in my home. I just remembered now that hidden in Bills presentation of his approach to the chat was the suggestion that if he could understand better the reasons why I suspect his involvement in the intrusions into my life that resulted in the siphoning off of all

my assets and the separation from my children, he might be able to control his anger and thus give me some hope of noit being subjected to further physical assaults and any future repetition of Bill wanting to destroy me. I found that I did not have anything to say about that at ll but I think that although the veiled threat was a key part of the chat, there was also a hidden motive to attempt to delve into reasons why I am aware of connection between Bill and the gang that invaded my life and stole my aseets and separated me from my children and thus caused those children to suffer as well in the deluded belief that we had to suffer in their strategy to save the Earth. I found myself focusing on freedom and the supreme importance of acting in accord with our unconscious guidance, our connecting link to the spirit, prajna, transcendental wisdon, the sixth sense. Bills introduction suggested that he was attempting to enter into a dialogue intended to be a planning session to map put a future. Having so recently experienced this most sacred realization - samadhi satori, I found myself asking Bill to tell me what he felt guided to by his inner wisdom, his sixth sense, what he felt attracted to. Bills repeated response to that question was that he wanted peace and no more arguments. I made it very clear to Bill that what I feel drawn to is to have a distraction free home in which I live alone and have freedom to choose when to have compnay and wehn not. Bills response to this was to make statements that appear to me to be intended to try to make me feel guilty for wanting to live alone. He certainly responded in a way which opposes my initiative for total freedom of choice by putting forth his own personal interest and the impact of my initiative to liv e alone, on his living situation. He suggested that if I go ahead and attempt to live alonbe he will go to jail, or to another situation in which his freeom and interestes are severely compromized. I suggested that there other options and that I see the path to my freedom as one that must of neccessity involve Bills freedom to choose also. I further told Bill that jail is not an option because it does not nurture his freedom of choice. It juts recurred to me that ther is a possibility Bill is compelled to engage in this deplorable conduct with respect to me by abusing and attacking me, by

criminal violations of my rights as a human being, compelled by the threat of dire consequences if he refuses to comply. Does somebody have something on Bill that they can use to force him to follow their orders and is that why he has long claimed that he is not free. Is Bill being coerced to invade my life and subject me to the most intense scrutiny and to perhaps even report his observations as part of some arrangement in which he has been promized immunity from the natural consequences of illegal acts he has been accused and perhaps even convisted of? The person I see is a person who shows very little interest in living a full life and seems devoted only to observing and influencing me. The type of influence indicates that he is motivated by something other or something in addition to coercion by the promize of immunity. The vigor with which he presses his influence indicates an ideological affiliation that he believes in passionately. It could be however that the passion is a result of avoidance of severe penalties. Bill does do some chores and some cooking but apart from that its pretty much to stay around the house at all times and to spend the time whatching TV. I am fairly convinced that while whatching TV he is in fact involved in his activity of observation. That seems to explain how he can cope with such an otherwise dull, boring and empty existence. I am personally convinved that the lure of freedom is far stronger than any other intention. Freedom of choice to follow the internal wisdom of the vast ocean of unconscious psyche attractes us more than anything else ever can. Its interesting to me that when I spoke frankly and honestly to Bill today about where I am guided by my inner sense of perception, t a life of solitary habitation, there was no encouragement whatever. Bills responses seemed to be intended to disuade me from following my inner connection with the spirit - to persuade me to sacrifice my freedom of choice to the task of providing him a home and comforts so he doesn;t have to go to live with family or friends.

If the awareness I have of Bills involvement with radical political revolutionaries who wish to keep me under the most intimate surveillance, is one that is real in the sensory world, then they knew when they sent him in that it couldnt lst for ever and that the day would come when I would have had enough and would their scrutiny and their knowledge of my actions would be cut off. I just remembered, Bill has over a long period of time insisted that the only alternative for him to living with me is going to jail. That is consistent with the possible coercion and immunity deal. I know of no reason why he wopuld go to jail and when questioned bill has been evasive. He has spoken of child support but has admitted that it would be no more than an over night event. This suggests that one way to mutual nurture of freedom of choice is to JUST do FREEDOM. tO JUST BE FREE. I believe that the greatest lilihood is that Bill is at a stage in his evolution where he is motivated mostly by self interest and is doing what he feels he must to survive but what I see is a person who is wuiote dysfunctional. I see a person who has sold himself out to something for some reason. 11/05/97 12:01 AM Could it be that Bill is as I once thought, the master sorcerer who has coordinated the actions all along - including Mary. My convistion on this subject is that physically violent assaults against my person by Bill over the last thirteen months tend tend to weaken that sort of vision and to strengthen anther sort of vision that brigs to light distortions of perception of Bills. From the first physical assault it has been as if everything has been transformed to a new vision that erases the master sorcerer vision and replaces it with the deluded warrior vision. This vision fits much better with the whole of the facts. The whole experience. One of the most fundamental realizations that has been lovingly provided to me is that there are no Universal laws of psyche. There are limited laws or rules such as laws of nature discovered by scientists. The awakening connected to this realization is that with the characteristgic uncertainty and probability that is an

intrinsic experience of psyche itself, there can be no absolutes. Like one cannot rule out the use of violence by Bill but it certainly is not consistent with what I value as friendship and in fact those violent acts of physical assault by Bill against my person, quite regardless of his justifications (based on his claims that I verbally insulted him and accused him - accusations by Bill against me that I see as quite false and distorted) opened my mind and revealled in an instant that this person who has appeared in my life as a friend and whom I have welcomed as a friend because of his presence in my experience, regardless of my reservations and suspicions about his motives, has finally revealled himself as being not what he made himself appear to be. I can say with doubt whatever that were I able to make over the decision I made that brought Bill into my home back in 1994, with a full knowledge of what was to come, the financial dependency, the disturbances of my peacefulness, deprivations of freedom of choice and invasion of proivacy as well as the constant scrutiny, the verbal abuse, the psychological manipulation and most of all the eight or more physical assaults, I would not invite him into my home. As I have on other occassions I cannot help but reflect on the events that brought that about. Iy began with the strange claims of a problem with Hunters vision. A trip to Tucson and surgery. Staying at Dave Coates place and knives, satanist and neo-nazis. Then the pressure from Mary for money and finally her strange ultimatum about Hunter coming up for the summer and also before I forget, her real strange behavior at the hospital which is very similar - storming out in anger and informing me that since she had staid up with him the night before it was now my turn. No questions, she abandonned Hunter and thats what hurt more than her forcefulness - her invasion and abusiveness, her assault which is the same thing that came between us years ago; her urge to control, her tendency to ambush and manipulate, to set traps and seek to dominate and control. How cold and ruthless she was. It seemed quite strange that she could be so cruel to a child in such a state of anxiety after such serious surgery. That was one of the reasons I came to see the whole thing as a hoax of tyhe highest order. Back then I hesitated to even consider how such a hoax could be set up and why. Now I know why. The whole thing was

setup to permit the observer to gain entrance into my home and my life. I suspected it even then yet went along with it confident that Id be provided the strength to deal with whatever transpired and what transpired was a deplorable series of personal attacks and harassments from multiple quarters. Mary. Gene McFadden. Gail. IRS. Jean. Nancy and Roy. Jim Graham. Tony Dunn. Then last and most deplorable of all has been Bill. What connects them all is their intentional action targeted quite consciously on confining me and depriving me of freedom of choice. In each and every case, the pattern was the same. Using their knowledge of my location, address, phone number, place of work, they used whatever instruments available to make impressions upon my senses and in this way created distractions of different kinds that takes ones awareness away from one pointed concentration upon the inner wisdom of prajna - the unconscious. As always according to the satori of my scientific training, we are dealing in most cases with probabilities except when it comes to my own direct experiences. There is absolute and total certainty about my direct experiences. What I perceive is what I perceive. Where we tend to loose track is when we allow ourselves to consider that there is a realm of reality that is concealled from the senses and from perception. When we posit an objective reality which is independent of perception we are on the way to losing our connection with divine power. That should not stop us from envisioning the intent of the people who some into our lives in order to protect ourselves but whats more important for us is to clean u the connecting link to the vast ocean of psychic intelligence that can provide all we need to experience tranquility and peace and unperturbable calmness.