10 Tips on How to Be a Successful Husband Note: Additions in brackets are notes from a sister.

1) Dress Up Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to loo k nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember tha t Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells. (Dress up for your wife when you are at home also. Some brothers only dress up w hen they go out and that is not a good practice. A husband should dress up for h is wife when they are at home. it makes a wife feel special.) 2) Sweet Names Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) had nickname s for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings. (Remember, you are your wife s only boyfriend, and her only best friend. She does not go out seeking boyfriends and she shares a halal relationship with you. Love her unconditionally for the sake of Allah. And express your love to her. A woma n likes to be told that she is loved. Call her from your work to make sure she i s doing fine. I have seen my dad calling my mother several times a day, just to make sure she has been eating well. And my husband calls me at least twice from work to make sure I am doing well. These things are very important in a relation ship.) 3) Reward Her Actions Don t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it bugs us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day which brings no attention from th e husband until she does something to bug him. Don t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that. (Whenever there is a fight or argument, just remember all the things she does fo r you. she cooks for you, she takes care of your home, she takes care of your ch ildren and the most important thing is that she guards her modesty. So do not up set her if she is upset with you. Hold her and tell her that you love her. Only your love can repel her anger. Communicate with her and discuss with her if ther e are any misunderstandings.) 4) Remain Silent If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is on e of the ways Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) used when he would see something i nappropriate from his wives (?????? ?????). It s a technique that few Muslim men h ave mastered. (Do not criticize her all the time. Trust her and trust her decisions. If she is doing something that you don t like, or that goes against the teachings of Islam, then do advice her gently.) 5) Smile! Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqa h and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her const antly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting. (Do let your wife know that you are very happy and blessed to have her. A wife a lways wonder how her husband feels about her. She may have some insecurity about

you, so make her feel secure. Always give her a hug whenever you come back from work. appreciate her and thank her for taking care of everything whole day. If you are not too tired, go out for star gazing for an hour or so.) 6) Acknowledge Her Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other t asks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that ther e needed to be more salt in the soup. Don t let that be; thank her! (Write thank you notes for her and place those notes in her books, her purse, he r socks, and anything else that belongs to her. You can use your own creativity to thank her. You can thank her by writing something on a mirror with her lipsti ck, so that she can read it when she wakes up in the morning. You can also thank her by arranging a candlelight dinner AT HOME, you be the cook and let her rest . So far I have learned that a nice romantic dinner at home is much better than going out for dinner. This way a couple saves themselves from many fitnahs. You can thank her by writing her letters and emails. Remember, in Islam, everyday is special. So celebrate wife s day with her, and do it very often without having a particular date. She will always wonder when the wife s day is going to be. You can also give her a certificate of appreciation, or a Best Wife Award on wif e s day. Do everything by yourself that day and let her rest, this way you will al so know how difficult it could be to do household chores. Thank her by building a webpage for her, write a note there and a poem and then ask her to visit your webpage. Thank her by recording a voice message on a cd for your wife. She will love it! Thank her by giving her a gift, and a gift does not have to be expensive. Be cre ative! You do not have to give her Roses, you can give her a leaf too! (My husba nd gave me a leaf once, instead of roses, and I was very happy and surprised, an d I appreciated his creativity). So remember, thoughtful and creative gifts make s a wife feel secure and happy. Thank her by ordering a halal pizza for her, ask the restaurant to cut it in a heart shape and have it delivered with a personal ized note. Thank her by thanking her in a family gathering. A woman likes it whe n her husband gives her attention. If you visit her parents or your parents, hold her hands and tell your parents h ow happy you are after marriage. Give your wife an Islamic book as a gift after praying Tahajjud. Use your imagination and think about unique gifts. Remember, s he does not need a diamond, she needs your sincerity and your heart, so always g ive her the gifts that are thoughtful. Whenever you do something to make her hap py, observe her facial expressions and ask yourself about how you feel when you become her happiness.) 7) Ten Blessings From Allah Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. T hen go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleas ure. You don t have to play a guessing game ask her and work on repeating those thin gs in your life. (Also ask her to write down the things you did that she did not like, or the thi ngs you did that made her unhappy. Try to not do those things in future. If she falls ill, let her lay down, and read different surahs from Qur an while placing y our hand on her forehead. When I got sick, my husband recited Qur an for me, it re ally helped a lot mashaAllah. Remember, a wife needs her husband the most when s he is not feeling well. Take good care of her because a healthy wife makes a hea lthy family. Do not expect too much from her when she is sick.) 8)Validate her Feelings

Don t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (?????? ????) was crying because, as she said, he h ad put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her t he camel. (If there is a time of sadness, give her your shoulder to cry on. Hold her and t ell her that everything will be fine. Alhamdulillah, my husband and my dad are a mongst those Muslim husbands who would even have tears in their eyes if their wi ves are sad. Remember, a woman does not like to cry alone in a corner. She needs someone to hold her when she is sad, so never let her feel lonely. Remind her t he verses from Qur an that talks about Patience and Piety.) 9) Have Fun! Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) would race his wife Aisha (?????? ????) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that? (A sense of humor plays a very important role in a marital relationship. Most wo men wish to have a husband who has a good sense of humor. Tell her decent and mo dest jokes that make her happy. A wife appreciates it very much if her husband m akes her smile. You can play various games at home. Play with crayons, or have a pillow fight. Or hide different notes in your bedroom and ask her to find it. T hink of different games you can both play. Let her win sometimes! Adopt interesting hobbies, such as reading, cooking together and gardening (grow a surprise rose plant in your garden, when you have the first rose blooming, ta ke her to the garden and show it to her. Newspaper and Sports Issue! Men like to watch sports, or read newspaper. Most Pakistani wives consider newspaper as the ir co-wives. So be very careful. If you are watching sports, turn the TV off if your wife comes around. Give her attention. Do not spend too much time reading n ewspaper, and do not read newspaper on the breakfast table, rather have an Islam ic discussion. If you want to get her to like newspaper, then try to find someth ing that interests her. Such as, try to find a news about Hijab. Or try to find a news about Muslim women for her.) 10) Be The Best Always remember the words of Allah s Messenger (??? ???? ???? ????): The best of yo u are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family. Try to be the best! In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah ( ?????? ??????) to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta ala knows best! (And once again: your wife is your best friend, and your girlfriend. Share every thing with her. Remember she is your garment and you are her garment, so hide he r faults and mistakes. Learn to forgive her. Also communicate a lot with her fam ily. It really makes a difference if husband communicates with his in laws. It h elps both husband s and wife s family to share a beautiful relationship. Respect her parents and show your love to her family. This will inspire her to love and res pect your family. If her family is not muslim, do dawah to them in a beautiful w ay.) Spend lots of time praying to Allah swt. Do fast often even if it is not Ramadan . Fasting brings patience and taqwah. Lead her in the prayer. There is nothing b etter than praying together. Remember Allah, so that Allah remembers you. May Allah bless us and guide us all. Ameen!