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Published Articles of Tania A Prince, EFT Master

Introduction This booklet contains a series of articles published in the EFT Insights Newsletter from May 2006- September 2007 The original introductions by Gary Craig are also included.

Contents EFT and the Power of Reframing 4-8

More on EFT and Reframing

9-13

Using EFT for Blushing and Fear of Public Speakingideas you can use almost anywhere 14-18

Time and Reframing: An Easy Technique that Generates Fast Results

19-22

EFT and Reframing using Counter-Examples

23-25

An Example of Using Reframes with Addictive Behaviour

26-29

Metaphors, Humour and EFT

30-33

Using EFT for Bereavement

34-37

Using Humor with EFT

38-43

Finding and Dealing with Core Events

44-46

About Tania

47

Contact Information

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EFT and the Power of Reframing Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 22nd of May 2006

Hi Everyone, EFT Master Tania Prince from the UK gives us her ideas on the advanced subject of reframing. Reframing refers to helping a client see things differently and is extraordinarily helpful in difficult cases. I've incorporated this concept for years and consistently find that reframes "land" with the client much better when done while tapping. Tania sets the stage for us in her opening remarks and then gives 3 insightful examples. Hugs, Gary

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. Hamlet, Shakespeare

There have never been truer words said, we create our own meaning from the experiences we have in life. Nothing is good or bad until we decide it is good or bad. Since we create our own meaning we also have the ability to recreate that meaning to one which serves to improve the quality of our life. Reframing is an incredibly effective tool that therapists can use for helping the client to change the way they think about their issues. It is the art of linguistically helping a client shift the meaning they give their experiences, to a meaning which is more conducive to health and well-being and living the life they want to live. Reframing can be done without EFT. In fact it is commonly done in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) just in the context of conversation. However, combining reframing with EFT in my opinion makes the reframes embed even better.

The Benefits of Using Reframing There are huge benefits into incorporating reframing into an EFT Practice. These include increased flexibility which, of course, increases the success rate you have with your clients. Another great benefit of using reframes is that it can make the session seem very relaxed and informal, because it takes away the rigidity of the more mechanical EFT approaches, such as chase the pain etc. To the client it may well just seem they are in a friendly conversation with their therapist, whilst casually tapping, in reality powerful therapy is taking place, because the clients perceptions/ cognitions are being subtly influenced in the direction of their goal. The Art of Reframing There is a definite art to delivering effective reframes. The therapist needs to be in rapport with their client and also calibrated to the subtle communication that the client is constantly giving them. Reframing should never be confused with leading the client. Leading is pushing the client to take on a new belief system, whereas reframing is far more subtle in its delivery and is respectful of the client. Reframes are not forced on the client, the client can choose to accept or not. And if delivered correctly this will not harm rapport. In my experience the best reframes are those that just occur in the moment, spontaneously without the therapist consciously deciding what to say beforehand. Since the therapist has had different life experiences and thus different belief systems etc than the client, it is quite natural that when the client tells their story, the therapist has a different perspective on it than the client. This makes reframing easy for the therapist. Steps to using Reframes Develop Rapport with the client Calibrate to the clients body language and tonality (many EFTers have this skill naturally and just term it as intuition) Ask for content on the issue: content is essential in order to reframe

Basic Reframing Years ago I worked with a client who had schizophrenia. When the client told me their story, they spoke of an event in which they had laughed whilst attending a funeral. The client interpreted this behaviour as meaning he was a bad person. As he told his story, I asked myself, What else could this behaviour mean? The thoughts that came to mind were, innocent like a child, naive, lacking in understanding of the conventions of our society. When I reframed by putting this to him, it created a change within the client, one which helped him see his behaviour in a new light, one which supported him as a person in a much more positive way.

Although there are many different ways to reframe, the following are some of the reframes that I have used in my practice. Some of the examples are fairly wordy whilst others may just be one word. Example 1: Reframing at an Identity Level This is a reframe I used with a client who had experienced panic attacks for over nineteen years, in fact since the age of about 6 years old. The client expressed the idea that she was weak early within the therapy process. This is a common idea for someone to have if they have had endless experiences in life where they have felt extremely nervous. It becomes their identity. When asked to describe WHO they are they instantly scan through all their life experiences and evaluate who they are from the meaning they gave to those experiences. In this case the client had decided she was a person who was weak because she panicked all the time. After we had done some work on the panic attacks, tapping out specific events, starting with the earliest she could remember, we targeted the belief, I am weak. To set up the reframe, I told the client a metaphor, a story from my past that highlighted what I wanted her to do. The initial story was told whilst tapping on the karate point and in a very conversational manner. At this point I already established excellent rapport with the client. Whilst tapping on the karate point I said, It doesnt really matter what happens in life, it is the meaning you give to that event. For example, when I was in show business I was driving home from a gig, one Sunday afternoon along the M6 motorway in broad daylight, with my two colleagues in the car, when two cars came up and tried to force me to pull up. They had walkie-talkies and were working together. So a potentially negative situation, but you know what, I dont see it that way (Pause, calibrating that the client is following along) because I out-drove them and out-thought them and left them behind. And because of that event I know that in a potentially stressful situation, I am ice cool and am a quick thinker. So in a way I came away with something really positive, because if I hadnt have had that happen I might not know that about myself. And I dont know, but if you were to think about that experience and if there were some positive learnings to be had about you, what would you guess them to be. The client listened to what I had said and processed it for a moment before replying, I am a strong person, because I could have left after five minutes because I felt so awful, but I stayed 90 minutes. There are several points about this type of reframe that make it highly effective: Point 1: I didnt offer the idea she was strong, although it certainly was what I was thinking, I enabled the client to come to that conclusion herself. After she concluded she was strong, I merely agreed with her, therefore confirming the conclusion she had come to and therefore reinforcing it. Since the idea came from the client she isnt going to reject it.

Point 2: The reframe that I did here was merely suggest the possibility that there was something positive about her identity that she could learn from the experience, an experience which previously she had only been able to think about in negative terms. By using the word if, I am bypassing resistance to the idea that I am putting forward. Point 3: Neuro-logical levels are a model of therapy developed by Robert Dilts a wellknown NLP Trainer who has written many NLP Books. Within this model he cites the different levels at which you can target a therapeutic intervention. The higher up the model you go the more profound the effect. Identity is at the top of the model, therefore shifting a persons concept of who they are to one that supports them, will create a powerful shift through many other areas of their life. Interesting, that not long after this reframe took place, the client went climbing on a practice wall at a leisure facility, even though the panic had not fully subsided at this point as therapy is still continuing at this point. Example 2: I should have been able to deal with this Another reframe that I use from time to time is one that deals with the idea often cited by clients who have experienced years of panic attacks; I should have been able to deal with this. The way I do this is simply setting it up by asking a few questions whilst tapping on the karate point. The first question I put to the client was, Youve seen a doctor about the panic attacks and did they sort it out for you? I then wait and allow the client to process what I have put to them. No. At this point the client is often curious about where you are leading them with the questions. Curiosity is a great state for enhancing learning. Then I continue: Alright. And youve seen a psychologist/ counsellor about it as well, and did they sort it out? Again I wait and allow them to process what I have said. No. Umm.(putting my self into a mental state of thinking) and yet you think YOU SHOULD sort it out? Often at this point the client begins to smile, as they begin to see their issue from a new perspective. I often take it one step further: So you expect you to sort it out when even those who have studied therapy all of their lives cant. I usually do this with a sense of amusement, because as the client realises the truth in what I have said, they also can see the amusing side of it. In fact at this point it is not uncommon for the client to say,

I hadnt thought about it in that way before. This is very firm proof that the client is now thinking in a new way about the problem As a follow through I say, No one gives you a manual with HOW to deal with panic attacks when you are born. As I am saying all of this I am following the clients reaction to what I am saying to make sure that the reframe has effectively helped them shift the idea, I SHOULD have.. Looking at Robert Dilts neuro-logical levels of therapy again it is easy to see how this reframe works. It shifts the problem to one that is about them, identity level issue to one about their lack of knowledge in other words, they didnt know, HOW. Thus the reframe shifts the problem from being a character flaw to just simply lacking a piece of information. Example 3: One word Reframe Not all reframes have to be as elaborate or wordy as the ones above, sometimes the inclusion of a simple word is all that is needed. The following is an example of one of the simplest reframes I have ever used. It was used in a case where I was working with a client who had a dental phobia. I had taken her back to two events at this point in the session, both of which occurred when she had been in a dentists chair and had experienced extreme pain and discomfort yet had to remain in the chair for a long time whilst the dental work was done. In the first and earliest event, she described herself as thinking, Im going to die. I was using extreme exaggeration in the reminder phrases. So when I started working on the second event, amongst other things, Im going to die..again. Well in most peoples lives they only die once, so by saying again, I am subtly pointing out that they survived the first time. Learning more about the Art of Reframing As with any skills, practice makes perfect. The more experience you get using reframes the better you become. However I would highly recommend reading Robert Dilts book called, Sleight of Mouth. This book covers multiple ways of reframing and is an excellent resource for those who would like to truly master this art. Tania A Prince

More on EFT and Reframing by Tania Prince Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 25th August 2006

Hi Everyone, An interesting feature of EFT is the belief change that often occurs during the session. This can be enhanced by the proper use of reframing (i.e. pointing to new perspectives). Tania Prince gives an important boost in this direction by expanding on her previous reframing article. Hugs, Gary

In a previous article on reframing I highlighted different ways to reframe and help clients gain new perspectives on their issues. This article is a follow up that further expands on the use of reframes with EFT. Reframing is a fantastic tool to have at your disposal as it can help make sessions very relaxed and informal. Reframes also can bring about powerful changes that can be extremely fast even with difficult issues. In this article I have highlighted two reframes that I used with clients. Both of these reframes worked instantly, collapsing emotions the moment they were used. Although reframing may look complex, it is in fact extremely easy to learn. I have included some tips to help make reframing easy at the end of this article. Recap on Reframing When we work with clients and help them clear their issues, the way they think about their problems changes to one which is more conducive to their health and well-being. Commonly clients will often make comments after clearing an issue such as: it seems insignificant now, or I see it differently. This indicates a change in their thinking (reframe). Reframing is the art of conversationally helping clients shift the way they think about their issues. It is a technique commonly used in therapy. When reframing and EFT are used together they can be an extremely powerful and effective combination. There are many different ways to reframe. Below are just two of these. Example 1: Uncovering the Unconscious The example below highlights a case in which the reframe had an instant result. Interestingly enough, the trainee/client used the same reframe on a client of hers

shortly after this session and had the very same result, i.e. the emotional intensity of the issue dropped to zero the instant the reframe left her mouth. Case: Anger about Sixteen Years of a Bad Marriage a) Background to the Intervention

Whilst running a recent EFT Level 3 training course, two of the trainees were working on an anger issue, which instead of going down in emotional intensity as they tapped, was steadily raising to the point where a volcano was about to explode. Background to the case is that the client/ trainee who had the issue with anger had been in an abusive marriage for 16 years. Although she was no longer in that relationship, she still had a lot of unresolved anger about what had occurred during that time. In fact, she had so much anger and other emotions around the marriage that she had put off working on it, simply because it was the One that you do not want to deal with (Clients words). Finally she decided that the time was right to deal with this issue. In a practice session with another trainee/ student she started to work on it. I joined the practice group in time to hear that, as they started to tap, the anger was increasing. They had already directly tapped on the anger itself and also on the not wanting to let go of the anger, neither of which had resulted in a decrease in the intensity. b) Identifying the Reasons behind Holding on to the Anger

When I joined in the group, I asked the client to tap on the karate point whilst I questioned her about the problem. The first question I asked was: What would happen if you let go of this problem? This question identifies whatever benefit the client is getting for hanging on to it. The client said: It would mean that the sixteen years I stayed in that marriage was a waste. I simply replied, Alright, accepting her statement at face value, thus maintaining rapport. Then, continuing to tap on the karate point, I had the client say: Even though I feel REALLY ANGRY, (using tonal emphasis to reflect the true state of her anger) I completely and totally love and approve of myself. We repeated the statement three times and then started tapping on the points starting at the crown of the head and going down through the eyebrow etc. As we tapped through, I changed the reminder phrase slightly to reflect the reason she wasnt letting it go. If I let go of this anger it will mean the sixteen years was a waste. This statement paces the client, especially since the tone of voice I used when I said these words matched hers.

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Then I reframed the statement by saying, So holding on to this anger means it was all worthwhile. The anger dissolved instantly. As usually happens after a reframe like this, she moved on to the next aspect of the problem which was feeling stupid for staying in the marriage for 16 years. Clients Perspective I think when you analyse how this worked; it is useful to understand what went on for the client at the moment the reframe was used. The following information was kindly provided by the trainee/ client. She said, It stopped me in my tracks, put it all into place, it just became ridiculous to hold onto it. All the anger from the sixteen years was gone. Further she went on to say, It had been part of me for so long, that it is a surprise that there is nothing there. After this intervention, all the anger from all the events during the sixteen years of marriage was gone. In the weeks following she said, I tried to get it back..out of curiosity. It was not possible. Breakdown of the Reframe Basically the client said that letting go of the anger would mean that the sixteen years she stayed in the marriage would be a waste. By that very same logic, you could say that holding on to the anger made staying in the marriage for sixteen years worthwhile. In this reframe I merely fed that back to her whilst tapping. Seeing it from this angle resulted in her letting it go immediately. Example 2: Using Counter-Examples to Reframe in a Case of Alcohol Addiction This reframe took place about half-way through a session, after we had evaluated what the clients goals were for therapy, and where he was currently as regards to them. Near the beginning of the session the client had said me that he had real physical problems associated with his drinking, that he had vomited blood and had had problems with his liver, and yet even knowing this he could not stop. I started the EFT by evaluating how bad he felt at the thought of never being able to drink alcohol again in his life. He said it was a ten at that moment on a scale where ten is the worst he had ever felt about this. We tapped through on the statement,

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Even though I feel deprived that I will never be able to drink alcohol again in my life. After one round this dropped to a nine, which is a negligible shift. We tapped through again and again it barely dropped. Third time, I asked him to tap on the karate point and set the statement up, Even though I feel deprived that I will never be able to drink alcohol again in my life. Whilst doing this we continued to tap on the karate point as I asked for clarification as to deprived meaning, Feels like a sense of loss? I just used a tonal shift in my voice to pose the question. The client indicated that the word loss was right. As I clarified that, I had his exact meaning. I then extrapolated and asked, Is that loss of pleasure? Again he indicated that I was right. At this point we started to tap to begin the round. So even though I feel deprived, a sense of loss that I will never have the pleasure of drinking alcohol again in my life.. We repeated this three times and then started to tap through the sequence, repeating: Deprived, loss that I will never be able to have the pleasure of drinking alcohol again in my life. As we reached the under eye position I said, Did you say you have vomited blood because of drinking? The reaction was instant. He let out a laugh and stopped tapping. The feelings around this specific issue had gone completely.

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Breakdown of the Reframe At the beginning of the session the client is clearly associating the idea that: Alcohol equals pleasure. This reframe works by presenting the information, alcohol does not equal pleasure to the client. It also works because the reframe is presented as a question. Thus the client has to go inside and access times that alcohol does not equal pleasure to answer. As with all reframes, timing is essential for this to work. Intuition was used for knowing when to say the reframe. Tips on Learning How to Reframe 1. Tap out Blocks to reframing 2. Read articles and books on reframing 3. Watch the EFT Borrowing Benefits Series Reframing requires the therapist to get themselves out of the way. What this basically means is that you need to just trust your intuition and go with whatever pops into your mind without pre-planning. In order to do this, it is very useful to use EFT to tap out any blocks you may have about reframing, such as, it is too hard; Ill never be able to do that. Simply set each block you have into the EFT statement and tap it through until it is no longer relevant to you. Tapping out blocks around learning is another good area to concentrate on; many people try to force knowledge into their minds by constantly repeating the material etc. However people have amazing abilities to take on board a vast amount of information extremely well. The mind learns best when very relaxed. Therefore you might just be pleasantly surprised that when you have tapped out your blocks, reframes just pop into your mind at the relevant moment, as they did with the client I worked with in the first case in this article. In the words of the therapist/ client herself, she said, It struck a chord as soon as she said it (her client). When you are in the moment, it flows. Tania A Prince P.S. A good book on reframing is Sleight of Mouth by Robert Dilts

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Using EFT for Blushing and Fear of Public Speakingideas you can use almost anywhere Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 27th October 2006

Hi Everyone, This quality article by EFT Master Tania Prince from the UK traces through the details of a difficult stage fright case and reveals methods for getting behind the scenes and finding core issues. A creative reader will readily see how parallel investigations would likely apply to a wide variety of cases. Hugs, Gary

Introduction Finding the root issues can often be the key to success when using EFT. Clients however, are not always aware of what event or events created their problems. Even if they are aware, it may seem so vague to them that they can actually think they are making it up. The following is a case I worked on recently where one of my trainees suddenly developed an absolute fear of demonstrating EFT in front of her peers. That fear was so great in the mere moments in which she became aware of it, she re-evaluated her whole career plans because of it, and decided that she would need to change direction in her life to avoid ever being in this kind of situation again. The following took place over two sessions. The first lasted about twenty minutes, the second about five minutes. In the first session, EFT was used to retrieve the memory of an event from the past and then to clear it. In the second session, EFT was used to deal with her issues about being judged. I have written this account after consulting with the trainee and gaining her perspective on the work done and the internal thoughts and emotions she was experiencing through the session. I feel it gives useful insight into this type of issue and the effect it can have upon a persons life. Background to the Case At a recent supervision session, one of the attendees suddenly became struck with fear as I mentioned that the next exercise involved working in front of the group with one of their colleagues. Previous trainees had found this exercise to be incredibly useful as a learning tool.

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As soon as I said this, the trainee began to shake, although she did not inform anyone in the group of how she felt. She was totally taken aback by her own reaction since she thought of herself as a very confident person, and had previously no problem talking in front of groups of people. The more I spoke about the exercise that we were about to do, the more extreme her symptoms became. She began to feel, light headed, and had the thought, no way am I going to do this. In fact she almost decided to make excuses and leave in the tea break. She felt like she needed to get out of there. These are typical reactions that occur when the body/ mind perceives itself to be under threat, whether that threat is real or not. She felt unsettled through the break, couldnt concentrate, talked very little, and didnt want to drink or eat. She felt sick and shaky. She had reached the point where she dreaded heading back to the course room. However she did go back. As I continued to set up the exercise, she turned to the girl next to her and said that she didnt feel she could do the demo. The girl beside her took on board what she was saying and then drew to her attention the fact that her neck and chest were blotchy. Instantly the problem ramped up a couple of degrees and now she became faint and felt even sicker. At this point she told me that she couldnt do the demo. In fact she said she had an internal voice which was point blank saying, NO! I questioned her about what was going on for her, after clarifying that only if she was totally OK with demo would she be expected to do so. I then asked if she was OK being the client. She felt fine volunteering to play that role. Using EFT, her fellow trainees were able to shift most of her symptoms, in fact all but one, which was the heat in her face that came up as they began to work with her. At this point it was really interesting because she said, I now feel really comfortable and calm knowing that I am just not giving this demo. The insistent voice in her head had not shifted one bit , it was still as adamant she wasnt going to demo in front of the group and that she was never going to put herself through this type of thing ever again. In fact she was now considering cancelling her client session due to take place the following morning. Throughout the previous work done by the trainees, she had said that she didnt know where this was coming from although she had a sense of multiple events. These however seemed vague, and she also added that she wasnt sure if she was making this up. Curious as to where this would take us, I decided to work with her and use EFT to explore this angle. Using EFT to get to a Root Event Whilst tapping on the karate point, we put all the pieces of information that she had supplied into the EFT statement as follows:

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Even though, I have this NO and it might be connected to early multiple events in my life and it seems vague, and I dont know what those events are, I completely and totally love and approve of myself. We tapped through the EFT sequence, using words from the initial statement, such as; I have this definite NOit might be connected to multiple vague events...I dont know what those events are? I then asked if anything came up for her or popped into her mind, whilst we continued to tap on the karate point. She said it seemed a little less vague, but she didnt know if she was making it up. I said it didnt really matter if we did make it up as we could tap this out and that it would be totally OK. And then I said, If you were to guess an age, what would it be? She said, Seven And if you were to guess where you were, where was that? In School And if you guess what was happening? I was reading in front of the class And if you were to guess what happened then, what happened? I didnt know a word And then what happened? I paused and then my friend had to tell me what it was This was obviously the point where a big emotion hit her as a child, as she had blushed and felt embarrassed and had a sense people had laughed at her. At this point having elicited the information we began to tap through the event, just putting together all the bits of information that we had elicited. So even though, I was only seven years old.. As we tapped through, I exaggerated certain points and just went with whatever popped into my head. Oh the shame of it, I was seven years old and I didnt know A WORD. 16

After tapping through she now seemed to be seeing the event differently and thinking about it differently than she had done at the beginning. However it is really important to check thoroughly, I asked her to, try and bring the memory back, make it vivid, get inside her body etc, what happens? She said that although most of the memory now seemed distant, certain points she could still see as bright images. This is a clear indication that the whole of the event was not cleared completely. We then concentrated on what was happening in the clear/ bright images that she still saw. Tapping these bits through resulted in the whole image being distant, fuzzy and seeming unimportant to her now, like a non-event. I then asked her to check with the voice in her head that had been saying, No! She said that it had changed to not now, but maybe in the future We terminated the first session at this point. She had originally said that she had a vague idea that the problem was associated with multiple events from her past. Therefore I felt as a therapist that maybe using Garys metaphor of the table top, which is the overall problem in this case the fear of doing a demo in front of the group and the legs beneath the table being the specific events in that persons life which had led to the creation of the problem., we had taken out one of the legs and effectively destabilised the table to some degree. Two Days Later Over the Phone Initial Evaluation of the NO in her mind was now, 20/30% of the original intensity When I started, my original intent was to find another leg under the table (using Garys table metaphor) and take it out; however, I just went with the flow and ended up tackling it entirely differently as seen below. Even though I have this No in my head which is somehow related to judgement, I totally and completely love and approve of myself. As I went through the set up I changed the wording of the affirmation to maybe I can make the realisation that to judge is their choice(pause)and my choice is to accept it (pause).OR NOT This made an instant impact. She then said, of course we are judged all the time. It was as if a sudden realisation had occurred to her. In the trainees own words she later said, This statement seemed to collapse things completely and really ring true with me.

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Breakdown of the First Session When I was working on this issue I was very much in the moment going with whatever popped into my mind. However there are certain points that perhaps explain what occurred during these sessions. Saying to the client that it was OK to make up what occurred, as we could equally work with the invented memory, resulted in her being open and stopped her challenging what was popping into her mind. Asking her to GUESS, the age, location and event itself also helped access the memory When we process the information in our minds about our experiences in life, we have pictures, feelings and hear sounds. We may also have a smell or taste associated with events. It is really useful to check that the memory is fully cleared when you work on it by checking through these systems thoroughly.

Breakdown of the Second Session Everyone has their own opinions. We are constantly judged either good, bad or indifferent. However, we do not need to accept that judgement. We can choose to accept the bits that add value to our lives and dismiss the bits that dont. Follow Up to the Case: One Week Later Speaking to Paula one week after we completed working on this issue, I asked if she had noticed anything different about her life. She said that she had noticed two things: 1. Firstly, that she had woken up one morning bursting with new ideas for her business. 2. Secondly, that when she attended a business meeting with an advisor from the Chamber of Commerce, instead of acting as if she was eating humble pie, she was proactive and felt totally at ease and equal in every way to the advisor. As a result, the meeting seemed less formal than her first meeting. She also noticed that as she walked out of the meeting the two chairs in the room used for visitors were of a different height one small and the other same height as that used by the advisor. The first time she had attended, she had automatically headed for the smaller chair thus leaving the advisor looking down upon her. This time however she automatically headed for the chair that put her at an equal level with the advisor. Final Comments I would like to thank Paula for working with me on this article and being gracious enough to share her story and experiences Tania A Prince

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Time and Reframing: An Easy Technique that Generates Fast Results Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 8th October 2007

Hi Everyone, EFT Master and expert reframer Tania Prince gives us this advanced article. In her intro she says, "Mastering the art of reframing is one more tool in your therapeutic arsenal that can help you become even more effective in gaining results using EFT. Reframing is also fun for both the therapist and client. With that in mind, this article contains information on a stunningly easy, fun reframe. It is one I commonly use." Hugs, Gary

Introduction Mastering the art of reframing is one more tool in your therapeutic arsenal that can help you become even more effective in gaining results using EFT. Reframing is also fun for both the therapist and client. With that in mind, this article contains information on a stunningly easy, fun reframe. It is one I commonly use. What is Reframing? Reframing is the art and skill of helping people change their perspective and view on their issues. Reframing is a powerful therapeutic tool that can create profound and fast change. EFT and reframing are commonly combined. There are many different types of reframes that can be used. The particular method highlighted in this article is a very simple and powerful method that I have used many times highly successfully. It is also easy to use and master. Example: Dealing with an Alcohol Addiction The following case was taken from the work I did with Carmen (not her real name), a client who had an alcohol addiction. At the point in the therapy where we talked about the below we had already made massive progress with the clients drinking issue. She had stopped and was now only having an occasional rare binge. Questioning her about the binges, Carmen said they only occurred when her boyfriend went out. Whenever he left the house she had a sense fear that something dreadful would happen to him and that he wouldnt come back. She went on to explain that this feeling had been something she had experienced throughout her life. (This statement implies that the causative event for this feeling was early in her life). Finding the Core Event

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I asked Carmen to access the feelings that she had when her boyfriend left the house. When she had accessed her feelings, I asked her where they were in her body and asked her to put her attention on those feelings. We started to tap on the karate point and I asked her to keep her attention on the feelings and go all the way back to the very first time she had ever felt those feelings. (This technique can be read in more detail in a previous article I wrote called, Finding and dealing with core issues) When asked what event had popped into her mind, Carmen told me about a time when she was about three years old. She was crying on the stairs in her house. Mum and Dad had gone out and she woke up and started to go down the stairs of her home. She had stopped half-way and was sobbing. Shift between then and now Karate Point: Even though I was three years old and no one was there, I am all alone, I completely and totally love and approve of myself Karate Point; Even though there was no one there and I was frightened, I completely and totally love and approve of myself Karate Point: So even though they left me and no one was there, I completely and totally love and approve of myself. Eye Brow: I was all alone Side of the eye: No one was there Under the eye: Theyd gone, mummy and daddy were never coming back Under the nose: I switched tonality at this point and directly addressed the adult client and asked; How long was it before they did come back? She laughed and said, I think it was a few minutes, not long Chin: Switching straight back to the tonality and tense I had used before I had asked the question, I continued, I was all alone Collarbone: They are never coming back The words that I am using here when saying, I was all alone, reflect Carmens 3 year olds point of view. At this point we stopped as Carmen was now finding it highly amusing. She obviously had shifted her original emotions. How does this Reframe work?

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Reframes work by first identifying what your client isnt seeing YET.

In time reframes this tends to indicate that the event is over. When you consider the above case that means: Mum and Dad came back. Carmen was locked into the perspective of the 3 year old who was alone and frightened and didnt know whether her parents would come back. It is like a moment frozen in time. The second step is deciding how to communicate that information in an effective way without forcing it.

There are many ways to communicate that the issue is over and in the past. You could tackle it directly with the statement as you tap: It is over. However in my opinion, asking the client the question: How long was it before they came back? is a much more subtle method of presenting this. Also, because of the subtly of it, it is much more likely to be accepted without resistance. Other examples of similar Reframes Another example of using this type of reframe is with the fear of public speaking; people feel very anxious waiting their turn to speak. When a client comes in and mentions this I ask them if they can get that nervous, waiting feeling now. A lot of clients say yes to this question. When they are able to get the feeling while in my office I use the method I described earlier and trace that feeling back to where it began - their first experience of it. When they then report when, what was happening and how old they were at the time, I then set the EFT up whilst tapping on the karate point. I simply restate their problem back to them using there words in the setup. Such as; So even though I have this nervous feeling in my (state where it is), I was waiting and I didnt know what was going to happen, I was frightened, I completely and totally approve of myself Basically I am pacing their issue. Pacing helps you gain and deepen rapport. Rapport is crucial to getting results in therapy. After doing the setup three times we start the EFT sequence with; Eyebrow: I was waiting Side of the eye: I didnt know what would happen Under the eye: And Im still waiting, (then I switch and address the client directly); Whilst still tapping under the eye: How long ago was that? Often clients will give an answer like; 30 years ago 21

Then I go straight back into the EFT again; Under the nose; Im still waiting, thirty years later Chin: Do you think it is OK to let it go now? Or maybe you might like to keep it for a few more years? Clients often laugh at this and as they do the issue often crumbles instantly. Sometimes however I play with this and tap on, No, no, Im not letting it go, Im keeping it for another thirty years. Technical Points of Reframing Reframes work best when delivered at the right time. It is a point of intuitive knowing that occurs. This awareness comes with practice and clearing blocks to intuition doing YOUR own work. With Carmen, who was having alcoholic binges when her boyfriend left her the reframes during EFT worked instantly and created a profound shift for the client. Even though we were dealing with something that had been highly distressful for Carmen when it occurred, the session itself was very light, both of us enjoying the experience. In fact we laughed through most of the session. Reframes done properly can be immensely effective AND can be FUN! Tania A Prince EFT Master

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EFT and Reframing using Counter-Examples Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 10th September 2007

Hi Everyone, EFT Master Tania Prince from the UK gives us another article on the art of reframing. This is a sophisticated technique used by seasoned EFT'ers to help clients see issues differently. It is an essential skill if you want to use EFT to its maximum potential. Hugs, Gary

Following on from my previous articles on EFT and reframing, this particular article concentrates on a very simple yet stunningly effective reframe. This type of reframe often creates an instant result. I have found it particularly effective with addictions. As with all reframes there is an art and skill to using it. Smoking and the Counter-Example Reframe One of the things I generally address when I deal with a smoking issue is what caused the person to smoke in the first place. What was their original motivation? For many people the first time they smoke is not a comfortable experience, something powerful has to be happening at an emotional level for the person to persevere. People often assume because they are older and that the original circumstances of when they started smoking are no longer relevant to them that these programmes are no longer running, however that may not be the case. When I work with an issue such as smoking the objective of the session is to eliminate ALL emotions around cigarettes so that the person no longer loves or hates cigarettes. The objective is to help the client become indifferent to them. The case I used in this article took place a couple of years ago. It involves a woman who had smoked since her early teens. Finding the Initial Motivation Event The question I asked to find out what had originally motivated the client to start smoking was: What would you guess the initial event was that led to you wanting to smoke, you might not have smoked at the time however it set the scene for that? The client immediately said that it was an event very early in her life when she had watched her aunty smoke. The aunty had used a cigarette holder and in the clients words looked really, glamorous. She remembered thinking that she wanted to be like that.

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As the client recited this story it was obvious from her body language that she was still accessing the feelings that she had had as the child, her whole face lit up at the recollection. This provided useful information as regard to testing the work we were about to do. The clients face should no longer light up. Example Karate Point: So even though aunty looked really glamorous and I decided Smoking makes you glamorous, I completely and totally love and accept myself. Karate Point: So even though Smoking made aunty look really glamorous and I wanted to be like that, I completely and totally accept myself. Karate Point: So even though I wanted to be look glamorous like aunty smoking, I completely and totally love and approve of myself. Eyebrow: Smoking made aunty look glamorous and I wanted to be like aunty. Side of the Eye: Smoking makes you look glamorous, because aunty looked glamorous. Under the Eye: Yes, smoking makes you look glamorous. Under the nose: Do you watch the show, Coronation Street? Yes, she replied. Have you seen Bet Lynch in the show? Yes, again she replied. Chin: Bet Lynch smokes (This is a statement of fact, she even used cigarette holders. I could see the client acknowledging the point), Yes, Im really glamorous just like Bet Lynch. Collar bone: Oh yeah, I love being really glamorous just like Bet Under the arm: Im really glamorous just like Bet This caused a complete shift in the clients body language and upon testing, when asked to think about her aunty smoking, the clients face no longer lit up. She was no longer associating smoking with being glamorous. Factors Important to this Reframe The counter example used MUST be immediately recognisable to the client. When you use counter-examples who are not immediately recognisable you lose the impact. With this particular case I checked out with the client whilst still tapping whether she was familiar with the character. To the client this would have come across as just a casual conversation. Extreme counter examples can have the most effect. If I had just used a character that was neither here nor there regarding being glamorous, it would in all probability not have worked. The fact the counter example was in effect the 24

anti-glamour was much more powerful. The character of Bet Lynch is brash, loud mouthed and wears thick make-up and has a very loud sense of style when it comes to the clothes she wears. For most people this is the type of image they would avoid at all costs. Rapport is crucial to the effective delivery of reframes, without sufficient rapport the client may feel that you are making fun of them, this is counter productive as it lessens the chance of the reframe landing. Instead the client would be focussed on their negative emotions. Calibrating to the clients body language and being able to notice shifts and changes in it are also important facts. Many people intuitively do this. This is what helps you know when to deliver the reframe. I know personally when to deliver it because I sense it intuitively. This comes with practice and taking out any blocks you have to allowing yourself to be open to your own intuitions.

Bet Lynch was a counter-example that I used to find very useful with many smokers. Here I have high-lighted how to use her with Smoking makes me glamorous, I have also used her for, Smoking makes me a rebel. Unfortunately as with all good soap characters, they move on and Bet is no longer in the show, thus her value as an instantly recognisable counter-example has dropped dramatically. Since I watch very little conventional TV, I am a bit lacking on counter-examples, however I watched Borat (the film) the other day (at my kids insistence), Im sure he will come in very useful at some point, dont know just where as yet as reframes tend to spring forth in the moment (For anyone who has watched it, I think that film is going to haunt me for a long time). I never plan my reframes however they just spring to mind in the moment. You might be pleasantly surprised at what reframes might just spring into your mind at just the right time. I hope you have a lot of fun when that happens. All the best, Tania Please note: using the fictional character of Bet Lynch is meant as no reflection on the wonderful actress who plays Bet. Thanks to my husband and to Chrissie for proof reading.

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An Example of Using Reframes with Addictive Behaviour Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 13TH August 2007

Hi Everyone, Reframes help clients "see things differently" and often spell the difference between average and superb EFT sessions. EFT Master Tania Prince from the UK shares her skills and insights in this area. Hugs, Gary

Reframing is the art of conversationally helping people see their issues in a different way. How you see or think about the issues in your life has a direct effect on your health and well-being. It is a powerful and fast therapeutic tool in its own right. When combined with EFT, these two techniques work together beautifully creating fast results. It can also be a lot of fun to use reframes. The Reframe highlighted in this article is a very simple one. It is easy to learn and use. It is one that I have used extensively in my clinics for years and from which I have had excellent results. This Reframe deals with bringing the consequences of the clients actions into the light. I have used a case of alcohol binge drinking to show how it works, however it can also be easily applied to other similar issues. Motivational Strategy for Addictive Behaviour Often when people think about doing things such as drinking, smoking etc they only see the pleasure in the act and not what happens as a consequence later on. Thus a smoker thinks of smoking and sees themselves in some location, relaxing. Associated with this image is a pleasurable feeling. This is part of their motivational strategy for having the addictive behaviour (Motivation strategies are the thought processes we go through in order to create the feelings that drive our behaviour). The consequences reframe can be extremely effective with this type of case. Example: Addiction Case At the beginning of the session the client had mentioned the effect alcohol binge drinking was having on her life and the fact that she wasnt able to tolerate it as well as she previously could. She had spoken about being drunk. She had not mentioned having a hangover, however.

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This Reframe forms part of a much larger body of work. Prior to its use, we had worked in depth on some major traumas that had occurred in the clients life. This part of the work took place after clearing those traumas. Consequences Reframe I started this part of the session by accessing how the client motivated themselves to drink, the question I asked was: I want you to think whatever you want to think and try and make yourself want a drink. The client took a moment: OK. She said. What did you think? I thought of being in the garden. She went on to elaborate on this point. When I have done the housework and been shopping and been working all day, drinking is my reward We set up the EFT as follows: Karate Point: So even though, I want a drink when I think of being in the garden, its my reward, I completely and totally accept how I feel Karate Point: So even though, a drink is my reward for working and cleaning all day, I completely and totally love and approve of myself Karate Point: So even though, I want a drink when I think of being in the garden, its my reward, I completely and totally accept me Eyebrow: I want a drink, when I think of being in the garden, its my reward Side of the eye: I want a drink, when I think of being in the garden; its my reward for working Under the eye: Having a drink is my reward Under the nose: Yes, a drink and hangover is my reward Chin: Is that true about the hangover? Yes, the client replied Yep, having a drink and a hangover is my reward Collar Bone: Yes, having a drink and a hangover is my reward for working all day 27

As is often the case when using reframes, the clients body language changed dramatically when the reframe was introduced. We stopped the tapping at this point. Testing Results Testing is important when doing therapy. To test in this case I asked the client: When you think about drinking as a reward, what happens? Her face screwed up and she said; My mind just passes that time in the garden and I see myself with a hangover. This is typical for this reframe. Her original motivational strategy involved a singular image of her in the garden drinking, enjoying the experience, now she was seeing a movie that included the consequences of her drinking behaviour, the hangover. There was no longer a pleasurable feeling associated with the thought of drinking in the garden. When asked to think about being in the garden, the client replied that she now saw herself: doing the gardening and reading. Drink was no longer a part of how she saw herself when in the garden. Crucial Points of this Reframe The reframe is set up at the beginning by simply stating what the clients issue is, as follows: So even though, a drink is my reward for working and cleaning all day,.. This is pacing the client, accepting their world as they see it. When you do this you build rapport. Achieving and maintaining rapport is an important part of therapy and an important factor in helping achieve results. At the beginning of the EFT Setup, I continued to pace the client. When you pace a person they are much more likely to accept the reframe. When the consequence reframe is introduced, it is done so in a very simple way. There is no lecturing, no trying to push the issue, just adding the word hangover into the reminder phrase. By asking: Is that true about the hangover?, minimises the possibility that what I am saying may conflict with the clients view of their world and helps maintain rapport. It also causes the client to think about having a hangover. People who drink or smoke often attend therapy and talk about the effect the addictive substance has on their life. However, they still drink or smoke. The reason for this, at least in part, is that their motivation strategy for creating the behaviour focuses only on the pleasure and good feelings and not on the consequences of that behaviour. This reframe addresses that omission. Basically, it turns the still frame picture of pleasure into a movie that includes the after-effects.

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Reframes are always best when they are not thought out beforehand but rather occur in the moment. Reframes can be a lot of fun. I hope you enjoy using reframes as much as I have. All the best, Tania Thank you to Chrissie and my husband for proofing this for me.

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Metaphors, Humour and EFT Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 24th September 2007 Hi Everyone, The artful use of Metaphors and Humor often turns mediocre sessions into magnificent ones. EFT Master Tania Prince helps us develop these skills by revealing several pointers from her own experience. Hugs, Gary

.If we couldnt laugh, we would all go insane.. Jimmy Buffett

Many years ago in a place far, far, far away. All right lets start again. Many years ago whilst I was still working in the field of show business, I was touring Finland with my sister and colleague. We had just arrived at our hotel having not long got off the train. It was at this moment my sister suddenly discovered that the seam in her trousers had split leaving a gaping hole in the most inappropriate place. She turned to face the both of us; we were oblivious to her predicament and she said: Why didnt you tell me? I have travelled half way across Finland with my a*se hanging out! Our jaws just hit the floor with the shock of her words, and then we promptly nearly fell over laughing. I am still laughing to this day even though that was perhaps twenty years ago. (And incidentally so is my sister, face of an angel, mouth from the gutter). Humour can be a powerful tool to help us overcome potentially stressful situations. Humour, reframing (the art of helping clients see their issues in a different way, one more conducive to their health) and EFT are powerful therapeutic tools in their own right. When combined they can be even more stunningly effective and fast at getting results. There are many ways to reframe. The method I used in this article is one of the more unusual types in that it basically uses analogy/ metaphor combined with EFT to create change in the clients thinking.

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Example of Metaphor, Reframing and EFT The client attended therapy due to the panic attacks she was experiencing. During questioning it became evident that her emotions around the death of her father were part of what was causing this problem. The clients father had spent the last months of his life in hospital. During this time he had been highly medicated. Periodically he would come around and notice his wife and daughter (the client), and upon seeing them he would say, Are you two still here with disdain in his voice. The client had a lot of emotion over this. As a way to avoid this happening the mother would watch out for him waking and would then say, Drop down, they would both then duck down so that he wouldnt see them. Within moments he would drift back into his drugs induced sleep. After the client recited the above story to me I decided to err on the side of caution and use the movie technique. Directly addressing this event could have been emotionally painful for the client. Asked what she wanted to call this specific event she said, The drop down movie problem. As we started to tap on the karate point I said, You know that reminds me of something that happened in my life, the clients curiosity stirred as she listened intently to what I was saying. When I was sixteen years old a guy of about 90 took a fancy to me and he would call around to our house with flowers for me. Whenever my mother spotted him coming down the pathway to the house she would shout, drop down! We would all drop to the floor and crawl behind the furniture laughing our heads off. At that point I instantly went into the movie technique without stopping for breath. Karate Point: So even though I have the drop down movie problem, I completely and totally love and approve of myself. In the split second it took for the client to process what I had said she burst into hysterical laughter whilst we continued to tap. Karate Point: So even though I have the drop down movie problem, I completely and totally love and approve of myself. Karate Point: So even though I have the drop down movie problem, I completely and totally love and approve of myself. Eyebrow: Drop down movie problem Side of the eye: Drop down movie problem Under the eye: Drop down movie problem We gave up the tapping at this point. When her laughter subsided I asked her.

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And when you think about the drop down movie problem, what happens? She laughed. It just seems funny now. Over a year later when asked the same question she replied that the event seemed, like a comedy, she still found it highly amusing although it was evident she was watching it as if she was a spectator to the event rather than one who was present at the time. This way of thinking about an event is commonly connected to having resolved it. Dissociated in the visual memory rather than looking at it through your own eyes as if still there. Breakdown of Analogy/ Metaphors Reframe? This type of reframe is dependent on identifying and using the commonalities between the clients story and the one you tell. In this particular case, the clients story involves three characters, two women, (mother and daughter) and a man. The story I used contains the same type of characters. The clients story has the element of the mother shouting, Drop down and the mother/ daughter characters ducking down to the floor. Again my story has the same element. In both stories this drop down behaviour is caused by the man coming around and the female characters not wanting to be seen by him. Here is where the commonality stops. Whereas the clients story has a sad association, my story is associated with humour. The metaphor effectively let the client see her own issue in a new way, one which previously she had been unable to see. This effectively broke the association between sadness and the event and at the same time connected humour to it. Why do metaphors work so powerfully? Metaphors are gentle, subtle techniques since they do not directly address the issue. They do not try to force the person to take on board the new perspective. They bypass the parts of the mind that normally resist taking on board new information. Stories engage both the conscious (linear, sequential part of the mind) and the unconscious (emotional and symbolic part of the mind). EFT makes the mind even more receptive to accepting the metaphor.

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How to Develop the Ability to Use Metaphor Formulating metaphors requires the ability to think laterally. Technically the question to ask yourself in order to be able to create instant metaphors is, what is another example of, in this case, dropping down. However the easiest way to develop this skill is by tapping out your blocks. One method to identifying those blocks is to listen to the internal dialogue whilst reading the part of this article on the reframe. What did your mind say? Was it, I cant do that etc. These are the thoughts you need to tap out. Being good at delivering reframes and metaphors is dependent upon trusting yourself and just going with the ideas that pop into your mind without critiquing them. Anything that gets in the way of doing that is a block so tap it out. Once you have done that you might just be pleasantly surprised at just how easy it can be. Tania A Prince EFT Master All stories and cases used in this article were done so with the permission of the people involved.

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Using EFT for Bereavement Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 20th July 2007 Hi Everyone, Unfortunately, grief (bereavement) shows up in just about everyone's life. A thank you to EFT Master Tania Prince (from the UK) for sharing her ways of handling it. Hugs, Gary

Introduction The loss of a loved one can result in extreme emotional distress. In some cases this distress can go on for years. EFT is a fantastic tool that can help people deal with these difficult emotions and reach a place where they can be at peace within themselves. The following article deals with the basic strategy that I use with bereavement cases. To help to highlight the process, I have used a case I worked on where the client developed panic attacks shortly after her father died. Throughout this article I mention the use of reframes. In order to keep this particular article simple to read I did not include detailed information on the reframes. I will however be featuring them in a future article expanding on my earlier articles on EFT and reframing. Dealing with Bereavement In my practice I have dealt with bereavement issues many times. I use a simple three step strategy 1. Deal with potential blocks and explain the process 2. Deal with the trauma and emotions around the bereavement 3. Tap on the positive 1. Deal with Potential Blocks and Explain the Process Rapport is crucial to successful therapy. Understanding the clients belief systems and working within them helps maintain rapport. Therefore the first thing I always do when dealing with a bereavement issue is check the clients belief structure. When I know what their beliefs are, I work with them, even if they are different from mine.

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Peoples beliefs around dying can differ immensely. Although many clients have some form of spiritual beliefs I have also worked with clients whose beliefs are: death is it, we no longer exist in any form. Knowing this at the onset of the session means that I am less likely to inadvertently say things that conflict with their belief system and thus possibly damage the rapport. It also provides me with useful information if I use reframes with EFT. (Reframes are commonly used in therapy. They are a linguistic method of helping people shift their perception around issues. Combined with EFT they are very powerful.) A common block I have come across is that people can be uncomfortable at the thought of letting go of their emotions around the loss. Some fear that losing their negative emotions means that they will no longer think about the person etc as if they will completely lose the person. However my experience of using EFT with this issue is that all they lose are the negative feelings. What naturally occurs as a consequence of this is that they naturally and automatically begin to remember the good times and the good memories of that person and experience good feelings as well. Sharing this information with clients prior to tapping allows the sessions to go much more smoothly. In order to do this I ask the client to tap on the karate point. Then whilst they are tapping we just talk in a conversational manner and discuss what happens during this process. After I have talked this through with the client I always ask permission to proceed by saying, Is that OK with you? The reason why I started to incorporate the above step into my bereavement sessions is that I noticed clients from time to time would begin to look uncomfortable when they began to tap on the trauma around the bereavement. They were shocked and frightened that it was working. I no longer have this reaction. 2. Dealing With The Trauma Of The Bereavement When I work with bereavement issues I always take the negative emotions down to zero intensity. Using EFT it is possible to do this even with the most horrific memories. I clear all the negative emotions and traumas related to the death. The volume of work required can differ dramatically from client to client. One of the traumas in the case I am using in this article was the hospital visits. Commonly the father would wake up, highly medicated and would say: Youre not still here, are you? This was highly traumatic for both the client and her mother. So, each time he began to rouse the mother would say: Drop down. Both mother and daughter would duck to avoid being seen. We used the EFT Movie technique combined with reframing to deal with this event. It cleared within seconds of beginning to tap. Clearing the one specific event resulted in all the other related events where they had ducked down, clearing as well.

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I also cleared the moment of realisation that the person had died. In this case the client called it the yellow movie problem. Other traumas included feeling that her father did not love her because she had found out that he had attempted suicide several times during his life. Again I used reframing and EFT to clear this. 3. Tapping on the Positive Although I do not use this stage with all clients, for many I have found this part of the therapy to be very beneficial. The client in this case had strong spiritual beliefs. Her beliefs were that we went on in some form after death. So I asked her whilst we were tapping on the karate point: In that case, where would your father be now? She looked over at the chair in the office and said: Hed be in that chair listening to us. In her minds eye she saw him wearing his green jacket with his hand cupped to his ear. (She still remembers fondly and vividly how she visualised her father on this day even months later) And is he happy? She said he was highly amused and interested by what we were doing. Although I didnt use the following question in this case I have in others where it has seemed appropriate; And would you meet up again with him at some point? Oh yes, is generally the answer I receive. Many clients seem to gain a lot of benefit from this discussion. Testing After we completed these steps, I asked the client: When you think of your father what happens? By phrasing the question in this way I am giving the client permission to say whatever occurs and not directing them to give me a positive answer. Automatically (without any effort) the clients face lit up as a positive memory popped into her mind. The client should not have to try to think positively, if they do have to use effort there is still more work to do.

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The client reported that after we did this in the therapy session she never again felt the sad feelings that she had experienced after her fathers death. In fact she was able to remember her father fondly with a smile on her face. After EFT Therapy This interview took place several months after completion of the therapy. When asked about her father, the client said: I can look at my fathers photo and feel good. She went on to say, when I think of him, I remember him coming up the stairs, looking happy. I can go to the grave and not feel sad at all. In fact I clean down the headstone and take flowers and say, here you go Dad, and I even clean the next headstone because Dad was always making comments when he was alive about the next door neighbours not looking after the place. When asked whether she felt her father loved her, she automatically said, of course he does. Written by Tania A Prince, EFT Master I would like to thank the client who helped me write this article. She wanted to share her story and is very passionate about EFT. She has since gone on to become an EFT Therapist.

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Using Humor with EFT Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 5th June 2006 Hi Everyone, Humor has many uses in the healing process but its delivery can sometimes be delicate. Fortunately, EFT Master Tania Prince gives us many tips and insights for including this useful tool. Her delightful British flair (and spelling) are evident throughout her article. Hugs, Gary

Most forms of therapy can be extremely stressful for the client. In fact it is not uncommon for clients to spend at least some time during the session in tears or distress. EFT, in contrast to most therapies, has the potential to achieve results without the client having to experience distress. In EFT there are many ways to make therapy less stressful, such as, The Tearless Trauma Technique, Sneaking up on the Problem and Chasing the Pain. Another tool EFT therapists can use is humour. Humour is something that can work extremely well combined with EFT. The Benefits Of Using Humour In Therapy Humour can not only can lighten an emotionally intense experience for the client, but it can also help to create fast and painless change. Humour can also make the therapy process less stressful for the therapist and help to avoid burn out. When a person laughs their whole body is flooded with natural body chemicals which are conducive to health and well-being. Basically laughter is healing. Ways In Which Humour Can Be Utilised During A Session There are several different ways in which humour can be used during an EFT session, these are: 1. As a means to test the work you have done. 2. As a means to reframe, give a different meaning or perspective to the clients previously unhelpful experience.

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3. As a way to lighten the emotional intensity of the therapy situation and as a tool in and of itself to help collapse the negative un-resourceful state. The body cannot hold two opposing states simultaneously. For example, a person cannot experience the feeling of finding something extremely funny and the feeling of something being hurtful in the body at the same time. If the two opposing feelings were to be fired off simultaneously the feelings would collapse into each other and you are left with a different feeling. This phenomena is used in NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) and is called collapsing anchors. In EFT humour can be used in this capacity to help collapse the clients unresourceful state. (A state refers to mind/ body/ mood/ emotions occurring at any one moment in time). Feedback Models and Humour I think it is important when using a form of therapy that might conflict with the clients expectations that you establish very early on during the session that you are focussed on achieving results. Thus when I use humour, I also set up feedback mechanisms that show the results are occurring. I use the 0-10 intensity scale before and after each round of tapping. So even though the client may have been laughing through the tapping sequence, we test and firmly establish that it has indeed eliminated the original negative feeling or belief. I may even ask the client to try to get the negative feeling back. After they have tried and failed, I may even say, You havent tried hard enough, try again. Of course, I say this in such a way that it maintains rapport between myself and the client. Case Utilising Humour Below is a case in which I used humour to help a client who to deal with a weight issue. At the time of attending my clinic she was compulsively over eating every evening and was several stone (1 stone = 14 pounds) over her normal healthy weight. Although this session highlights the use of humour, this is only one of a multitude of techniques utilised during the session. From almost the minute the client came in to the clinic we connected; the rapport was instant. It was also very obvious to me that the client had a very well developed sense of humour. Reframing from Deprivation to Increasing Choice One of the common things that occurs in an issue such as weight management is that the client often feels deprived; as if they cant have something. A lot of people find that the moment they are told or feel they cant have something is when they seem to

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want it even more. Shifting this can be a powerful intervention that can help the client achieve their goal. Firstly I explained to the client that it would be good for her to no longer feel deprived at the thought of not being able to have these foods anymore and that we were not taking away her choice about whether she could have them. The objective of what we were doing was to give her a choice because at present she was almost non stop compulsively eating in the evenings. We were looking to increase her choice so that she could now decide whether she wanted to eat the food or not. Also that it wasnt that she couldnt have the food, it was that she would be choosing that she didnt want the food. Humour in the form of Slips of the Tongue After getting a 0-10 intensity level on the feeling of being deprived at not being able to eat these kinds of foods any more, we set up the EFT statement as follows. Even though I feel deprived of the pleasure of eating my favourite foods, I completely .. After establishing the set up statement, I clarified with the client that the word was in fact deprived and not depraved. The client stated to smile and confirmed it was deprived. Slips of the tongue are common comic phenomena, one which can be used for great effect especially if rapport is excellent. For example, accidentally, slipping in the word depraved and innocently asking is that right. In my experience this works best when you as a therapist have an internal feeling of finding it funny yourself (congruently). When you are in rapport with your client you can lead your client to where you are, and thus help them see the humour in what you are saying. After doing this the first time, fate took over and intermittently the word depraved slipped out. Each time it did the client doubled over in hysterical laughter, in fact both of us nearly rolled off our seats. Of course after the first time of linking the word depraved to laughter, each subsequent time I used the word I was merely retriggering off the past association I created by doing it the first time, a phenomena in NLP called anchoring. Asked at the end of the round whether she could still access the feeling of being deprived, she said she couldnt. Tapping out the Cravings Prior to the session I had asked the client to bring with her some of the foods that she was compulsively eating. She brought a meat pie and a chocolate bar. Tapping out the cravings was a very simple procedure with this client. I simply directed her attention to each piece of food that she had brought, tossed it under her nose and asked her how much she wanted to eat it right now. Within two rounds of EFT, the 0-10 intensity fell to zero on both foods.

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Demonstrations such as this are very powerful convincers that EFT is effective. Helping the client notice the change in perception of taste/smell, which is very easy to demonstrate, immediately creates a sense of expectation for the session to be successful. Dealing with the Underlying Drivers: Guilt and Bereavement Further into the session we decided to work on the underlying drivers fuelling the addictive eating pattern. The biggest was the death of her father, over which she had guilt feelings because she had been out of the country at the time. In my experience irrational feelings of guilt quite often occur in these circumstances. It is as if the person feels they should have been there, and yet only in hindsight would they have known the person was going to die. After using sneaking up on the problem methods and thus taking the edge off the issue, I decided to use the Movie Technique as the client was near to tears even at the thought. I asked her to give a title to the moment when the first large emotion had occurred. I asked her if it was a movie of someone elses life, what would the title be? As can often happen, she said,- Oh, Im not good at doing stuff like that, She seemed to be having difficulty coming up with a title. Although her answer indicated a limiting belief about her own abilities to create movie titles, I chose not to work on that simply because I did not feel it was relevant to the issue we were dealing with, but merely a side issue. To bypass it I said, If the movie was a colour, what would it be? Well, blue, was her immediate answer. Knowing what came next, as I had chosen to use the movie technique set up, I immediately said, Interesting choice of colour, in a tone of voice indicating that I had found something interesting, although I did not reveal what that was to the client. Without saying anything more about what I found interesting, I started the EFT statement, So even though I have the blue movie problem Effectively by saying what I did prior to doing the set up, I helped the client develop an internal state of curiosity. Whilst in this mental state her mind was seeking out what it was that I found curious. As soon as she heard me say, Blue movie problem, her mind made the connection instantly. She burst into spontaneous laughter. Although it is possible that she may have made the connection without my words drawing her attention to it, my words made it easier for her to connect more quickly.

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Since she was already tuned into the issue around feeling guilty about her fathers death, she now had basically two opposing states occurring. As earlier stated, the body cannot have two opposing states at the same time. They cancel each other out and all that usually remains is whichever of the two states has the greater emotion. Immediately the client fell into hysterical laughter and she even said her dad would see the humour of that. Within a round of EFT the emotion around the specific event relating to the death of her father, including the guilt feeling was gone. In fact, it went within the first few points of tapping, except we were both too busy laughing to check until the round finished. Since the title, blue, had come from the client, I had merely utilised it to help facilitate change. No Go Areas There is a fine line between humour which can be appropriate and effective and that which breaks the mood and creates adverse reactions in the client, such as feeling you are making fun of them or you have gone too far and are touching on a subject which isnt funny. As we moved further into this session we approached a moment when the situation could very easily have triggered a negative reaction. Talking further about her father, the client mentioned that he had had a favourite piece of music. The moment she mentioned this, it triggered a feeling of missing him. Going into more detail the client mentioned a specific event in which he played this music and it was obvious she had some quite intense/sad feelings around this moment. I asked her where she felt that feeling and she said it was in her chest. Automatically I set the EFT up as Even though, I have Dad feeling my chest, I completely and totally love and approve of myself. The instant the words were out of my mouth my mind made the connection. Danger zone, a slip of the tongue and we would be in very dodgy territory. An inner voice said to me, dont go there. Still, the seeds had already been laid, the client took one look at me in the middle of the round, smirked and said, Dont go there and laughed her head off as both of us struggled to remain precise with what we were saying. Both of us burst into laughter, as we tapped through the rest of the round, making sure we got the reminder phrase precise, Dad feeling IN my chest. The feeling of missing him was gone. In fact positive memories were popping into her mind at the thought of her Dad.

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Follow Up Session: Feedback The follow-up session was arranged for the following week. The client reported that the compulsive eating had stopped. She was able to buy sweets and pasties for others and was happy not having any herself. She also was eating normal food in moderation as opposed to food made for dieters. Tania Prince

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Finding and Dealing with Core Events Publication Date: EFT Insights Newsletter: 17th November 2006

Hi Everyone, Complicated cases often require sophisticated EFT approaches and this usually includes getting to Core Events. Finding these can be a challenge, of course, and that is why this article by EFT Master Tania Prince should prove useful to serious students. Hugs, Gary

The following article highlights one of the techniques I find of great benefit in my therapy practice. This technique traces back the feelings the person is experiencing to the underlying core issue. It is incredibly simple to use and also very fast. I have used a recent case to highlight the use of this technique; the case deals with my trainees inability to tap (do EFT) on themselves. Benefits of Using this Approach Sometimes clients give a massive amount of information regarding their problem, it can often be difficult to know where to start; this approach provides a simple strategy that is extremely effective. It takes you right to the relevant information. You use the current feeling the client is experiencing, to trace the problem back to where it began. It acts as a strong convincer for sceptical clients, that the current problem is connected to the event you are working on from their past.

Case: Dealing with an Inability to Tap This session took place in a live demonstration of EFT at a recent training session, whereby one of the trainees said that she was unable to tap on herself. I asked the trainee, How do you know that you have that problem? This is an incredibly useful question to ask as it goes straight to the evidence that the person is using to identify that they have this problem. She answered: Well, when I sit down to tap, I just find that I get up and do something else, and it happens all the time. So, what happens when you sit down to tap? What emotions do you feel? She replied, I feel exposed

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I then asked: Where do you feel that in your body? In my stomach I then asked: How would you describe that feeling in your stomach? She replied, It is a constricted feeling. After asking permission to tap on the client I took her hand and tapped on the karate point, whilst I said the following: Put your attention on the constricted feeling in your stomach and keep your attention on that feeling and as you do that go all the way back to the very first time you have ever felt that feeling in your stomach, all the way back. I dont know what might just pop into your mind, but just go with the first thought (Clients often dismiss relevant information because they dont think the event is traumatic enough, however at the time of the event they may have experience very high intensity feelings, it is important to go with whatever pops into their mind) What are you aware of? The trainee described an event at the age of fourteen in which she was in a French class at school. Other children in the class were talking; she wasnt doing anything, but at this point the teacher picked her out and asked her a question. After she answered the teacher corrected her in front of the other students. As the trainee recited her story, I kept tapping on the karate points and occasionally the finger points. The reframe was very simple; I said as I continued to tap for the client, so the teacher had lost control of the class. Almost instantly the trainee said, I didnt see it that way before. Speaking with the trainee afterwards, she said, that when I stated, so the teacher lost control of the class, it seemed an exaggerated way to describe the situation, part of her wanted to contest what I said, however another part recognised that there was an element of truth in what I said. Mentally it felt like an, elastic band being pulled and then relaxed as the thought processes changed. She went on further to describe this as the moment that her thinking shifted to realise that it, wasnt only me stood up there exposed, he was exposed and was using me as a tool to get the class back on track. This for the client made the event, more into a picture than a feeling; she said she felt dissociated from it. Reframing is a linguistic tool for helping clients shift how they think about the events in their lives. By simply presenting a different view of this event, by saying so the teacher had lost control of the class, it caused the client to shift her perspective and look at the event again in a different way. Our issues are created by the meaning we give the events that happen in our lives; by looking at this event again, she gave it a

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new meaning. Although I used reframing and EFT, it would have been equally possible to just tap through this event and clear it. Feedback after the Session The following is part of an email I received from the trainee a few days after the training. ..Since returning I have now been able to create leaflets and cards, ready to post on notice boards etc, and trust in due course potential clients will contact me. There seems to be an enormous shift in my thinking and confidence. A new me.. In a conversation that followed the email, she reported that she was now able to tap. She also said, previously what stopped her advertising was that if she did, people will know me (in other words, I will be exposed as in eyes will be upon me). When we spoke about other events where she had felt exposed, she said, I know it happened and that was how it was then. Listening to her words, it was clear that she was using past tense to describe the events and her emotions regarding them. This is a good indication that she is thinking differently about them. Tania Prince, EFT Master PS: Thank you to the trainee for the insights and help in putting this article together.

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About Tania A Prince EFT Master Tania is highly passionate about EFT. The most common terms used to describe Tanias work is; inspiring and humorous. With over thirteen years of client contact, Tania is a highly experienced therapist. She works from two busy therapy practices within Cheshire in England, as well as working with clients throughout the UK and abroad via the phone. She has extensive experience of working on all types of issues, including serious illnesses. She is a specialist in the treatment of confidence issues, shyness, and social phobias, fear of public speaking, blushing and panic attacks. Tania has helped many clients improve their relationships with their partners/ parents/ children/ managers and create greater balance and happiness in their life as a consequence. She has also helped many clients turn their careers around and reconnect with what truly motivates them. Tanias work has been featured on prime time TV shows both in the UK and Europe. She has also given interviews on many radio shows about her work in EFT. Although Tania predominantly uses EFT in her practice, she is also an internationally recognised NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer, a TAT Trainer and a Hypnotherapy Therapist and Trainer. She has a great interest in linguistics and how language can help create powerful change especially when combined with EFT. As well as working as a therapist, Tania has been running training courses for over six years. She trained in the art of delivering training courses in America by one of the top organisations in the world. She has a background in show business which ranges from acting to rock singing. Tania uses these experiences to make learning a fun experience and to help people transform their lives in a fun and healthy way. The following are reviews from some of Tanias training courses: .I never laughed so much during a training course . ..Tania uses humour all the way through. (her).. Showbiz timing obviously coming through!....... Tania has presented at major international conferences, which include: The Second European TAT Conference 2006: The First International EFT Masterclass in London, 2006: The EFT Master Training Conference in Boston, USA, 2007 and the 2nd International EFT Masterclass in the UK, 2007.

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Contact Tania Tania can be contacted at Tania@eft-courses.co.uk Her website is www.eft-courses.co.uk She runs eft Level 1-3 courses, EFT Retreats, Confident Public Speaking Courses and abundance courses on EFT Marketing.

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