The Year I Wore a Veiling or Head Covering During the summer of 1996 my husband and I were going through

what I call a grow th spurt. Our marriage was not healthy, we were as I often complained "room mate s". We never fought, actually got along well, but we were not intimate. We didn' t communicate well, and we weren't close as a married couple should be. We began to seek of the Lord for the problem and solution. We both knew we needed to be grown spiritually in a major way. We also knew that one of the main problems was the power struggle between us. I knew I wanted to be submissive but being so st rong natured, hadn't a clue how to do it. He wanted to be more dominate in our m arriage and wasn't sure how, without stepping on me. Common struggle with couple s who have our personality types. :o) We began exploring many avenues. I had a good friend that wore a veil, and stupi dly enough I had never really ask her why she did. We had been close for about 4 years! I just knew it was a spiritual conviction, and left it at that. She came to visit me for my birthday in July, and while she was here, I asked her about it. She was thrilled, because God had been urging her to share it with me. (awww , the Holy Spirit!!) She told me about the passage in 1 Cor 11. Gave me her test imony about it, and offered some study books on it. Most but not all of the book s I ended up reading about a woman wearing a veiling was from the Mennonite Chur ch. Now I am not a Mennonite, and there are several of their doctrines that were way out for me. But there was good material on modesty, submissiveness, etc. th ere. I felt led of God to wear a veil, not because I felt it to be necessary Bib lically, but because I knew God was wanting to teach me about submissiveness. I of course told my husband about my feelings. His words were something along the line, "If you are getting it from God, then do it." :o) I was immediately afraid of all the possible ramifications. When you wear a head covering full time, there are so many details that can't possibly occur to you till they happen. My friend lent me a white scarf, and showed me how to wear it with a headband until I could get something made. Then I had to learn how to put my hair up, and get the stupid thing to stay put! :o) The next thing was to tell my parents. We are very close to my folks and they ar e in full time ministry. Thus Hubby & I tend to see them as spiritual mentors. I knew that trying to explain why I wanted to wear a head covering was gonna be a wkward for me. They listened patiently and agreed to read a couple of books. Lat er they told me that they didn't see anything harmful with it, and if God used i t to work on me, then super. Even then, I got the feeling they were playing the typical parent game of watching while their silly kid learned a lesson. LOL! Thus began what was probably the most spiritually exciting, scary, and moving th ing I have ever gone through. I still get weepy when I think about it. I read an d studied like crazy. I'm sure I spent more time in God's Word during that year then in any other. The first thing that had to change was my clothing. You simpl y can not wear a veil with shorts & tank tops! So hubby and I worked together an d cleared out my closet of immodest clothing, and began slowly building up a mor e modest wardrobe. One of the things we both became very convinced of with our s tudies is that as Christians we are instructed by the Bible to be modest & fruga l. Now this meant clothes, but also jewelry, and shoes. I tell you I went from j ewelry to match every outfit, and high fashion type of clothing to denim jumpers , loafers, and small pearl studs !! Even my oldest son and husband changed how they dressed. We both continued to read , study and seek God's plan for us. Ever y time I got up in the morning, my routine reminded me of what the Bible meant t o be submissive. I combed, braided, and pinned up my hair. Then covered it up fo

r the day. Now to make this a bit more interesting, and poignant for me, realize here that Ihave naturally red, and curly hair. All my life it has been my one b eauty, my true crowning glory. From my earliest memory, my hair was what got me compliments, and attention. I have perfect strangers come up to me and ask or co mment about my hair. So I had to cover it up, and think about who was my head an d why. Then I got dressed. I am a rather spunky person and I dressed that way to o. Bright colors, fashion, wasted money, showing my body, all was gone. I covere d my body in modesty, like a "lady", preserving my privacy for my husbands eyes only. No undue attention was brought to me but by my smile, and spirit. People w ould see Jesus in me, now that they weren't distracted my bright outfit. :o) The re was good stewardship (as instructed by the Bible) and very little was now was ted on baubles. That too made me think about my vanities, and where my focus was . Then was how I acted, spoke, and presented myself in public. Here is this lady, dressed modestly, wearing a veil. Full well knowing people are wondering about w hy she is thus. Automatically presuming she is "religious", or "Christian". Am I going to be frowning or growling? Am I going to be speaking harshly to my child ren? Am I going to be rude to the checker, no matter how tired I am? I think not ! Can you guess what happened next? For the first time in my life, I was "asked" to give testimony for Jesus, to strangers, in public. People would ask why I wa s wearing a veil. Thus I would be telling about the Bible, loving Jesus and my h usband, following His command, etc. As we stand in line at layaway or something. How often have you done that? Boldly? Oh what lessons I learned about witnessin g, submission to Jesus, and to my husband !! Husband was learning many lessons t oo. How he spoke to me, treated me, defended me, & prayed for me, changed. What God intended for him as husband, father, provider. Now during this same time God brought a few trials our way. We were very active in our church at that time. We both worked in the children's ministry, etc. Our church began breaking up over some things our pastor was involved in. I was list ening to the pastor give his yak, and also others who were in the mess. My husba nd, stood back, watched, listened and took his own sweet bippy time forming any opinions. The end result? He was right, made the correct decisions, and I was le ft with a new awe for the differences in us. I had tended to hate the difference s and usually fought them. God showed me that the reason why husband was differe nt from me, was so that we could work together. The reason husband handled some things the way he did, so naturally, was because God designed him to be my spiri tual leader. So something that started out to be a real burr under my saddle was now a blessing! Another thing that began to happen was I experienced ( husband too a bit) real p ersecution for the first time. Not from the people on the street but from other Christians. Everyone would ask why I was wearing a veil, when one of us would ex plain, they jumped down our throat. Now for the most part, we realized that it w as a defensive reaction. We made them feel convicted about their own lack of obe dience, modesty, submissiveness, whatever. Others were just that way with some o ne different no matter what. :o) It really made me think about what I was doing, why, how we came across to others, whether we were learning, honoring Jesus, et c. Robert and I began to pray "together" for the first time in our married life. We began to see in each other things we had never seen before. He saw that I wa s honestly wanting to be submissive. That God designed our marriage to have a ch ain of authority. That he was responsible for more important things then going t o work every day. I saw Robert as man with true gifts I never really noticed bef ore. That some of those things I stayed irked about in him, were there for good reason. I began to appreciate that God made us male & female, that I could be wh o I was without giving up anything. *sigh* There are way too many lessons to try and describe here. Finally I began to get to the point of feeling that God was done with the veil.

I felt led to give it up, it wasn't needed any more. I had learned what submissi on to my husband meant for us. I was to yield to my husband's authority, to acce pt God's plan. I found peace in using my strengths to be a helpmate. I learned t o appreciate my husband in ways I never would have otherwise. I became more awar e of the inner me, and less worried about the outer person. So much had changed for us!! I prayed, and struggled, afraid that I was taking it into my own hands. Husband struggled with it too, but felt God would speak to me. Then I felt led to order one more of those books on wearing a veil. One morning when I was kneel ing at the bed weeping over giving up the veil, it was delivered. It wasn't what I thought. It a written from the perspective of NOT NEEDING to wear a veil. I e nded up laying across the bed weeping and praying, praising God for speaking to me. When husband got home I shared what God had done that day. I needed one last thing to close the lessons forever in my heart. My husband grinned at me, and s aid, "Go ask your Daddy what to do about it." So I did. Again I wepted as I explained the struggle I had been going through. D addy very patiently listened.Then he said some very beautiful things to me. "Daughter, I was waiting for God to get your heart to this point. I knew it migh t take a while, because you have a lot of me in you. I also knew you would liste n in the end. My suggestion to you is, ask your husband, what he wants you to do , then do it. I love you." Then he hung up. It was getting close to my birthday. Since that time husband and I have grown leaps and bounds. We went on learning a lot about each other, trust, how to implement our roles, etc. It wasn't until w e went to our new pastor for counseling that we finally got the last bit of comm unication skills to finally figure the rest out. Right now we both have great pe ace with our roles, each other, how our marriage is, and how it is growing. We b oth have a lot more confidence, contentment, and eagerness to live together. Fra nkly we are more in love, and better off then we have ever been. It really began with wearing that veil. I hope you can learn something from this story, and I appreciate your interest. God's many blessings to you!! FlakyLMD (o: