Celibacy

No! Chastity Yes!

By Jane Gilgun

Its about time that officials of the Roman Catholic Church cleaned up their thoughts about sex. I dont know how much more evidence they need to conclude that celibacy is a bad idea as a requirement for the priesthood. At ordination, young men at the age of 26 promise never to have sexual relationships with another human being. This in effect is a promise to forsake a God-given desire for a precious kind of intimacy that is part of being human, part of being alive, for that matter. These young people have no idea what they are promising when the give assent to life-long celibacy. Why not ask these young men to promise to be chaste? This promise would be life- long. They could promise to be celibate for a designated number of years, say one to five. At the end of that time, they can either renew their promise of celibacy for no more than five years at a time. The possibility of renewal is life-long. If they decide they no longer want to be celibate, chances are they have met someone with whom they are intimate and with whom they want to become sexually intimate. Or, they may want to be free to look for someone with whom to be intimate both personally and sexually. At the point where they have found someone with whom they want sexual intimacy, they would talk to an advisory committee about their plans. The advisory committee would not have the authority to say yes or no to the priests desire for sexual intimacy. The official position of the Roman Catholic Church would be to respect the freedom of choice of priests, while ensuring that the priests have considered the upsides and downsides of forsaking celibacy and becoming sexually intimate. The tricky part is whether a desire for personal and sexual intimacy must translate into marriage. I will not comment on that. In the context of time-limited promises of celibacy with opportunities for renewals, it may be important to figure out what chastity means in the absence of a promise of

celibacy. Church officials and others concerned with what chastity means could talk to people in a systematic way. They would, in effect, do well-planned research that could have several components. This research could be called The Chastity Project. These are some possibilities for this project. 1. Reflections upon what they think chastity is; 2. Discussions with others working on the chastity project about working ideas of what they think chastity is; 3. A review of what has been written about the meanings of chastity; 4. An anonymous internet survey asking people what they think chastity is and how they are or are not chaste in their own lives. 5. Focus groups covering similar topics; 6. Individual interviews on similar topics. 7. Interviews with people from many walks of life, variability in religious affiliation, age, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, sexual identity, ethnicity, income, etc. Some Working Ideas Chastity means that people who are sexually active or who are free to be sexually active act in ways that promote the best interests of others, the self, and any other persons who might be affected by sexual behaviors. In brief, chastity involves good executive skills. Good executive skills mean that the heart and the brain are engaged in considering consequences of actions. People who have good executive skills dont act on the heat and passion of the moment and then later wonder, What was I thinking? Good executive skills means you have thought before you acted. If two people are acting together, they have talked about the many possible benefits and pitfalls of actions they would like to take, including consequences for themselves and for others. In sexual matters, persons with good executive skills consider whether both persons are free to engage in sexual behaviors and are not uncommitted to another person or to a promise of celibacy. It also means that the two persons are equal. One person does not supervise the other or is not some kind of gatekeeper for something the other person might want, such as admission to a group or club. These and many other issues are important in order to ensure good outcomes when two people engage in sexual intimacy. In the context of the Roman Catholic Church, ideas about chastity would be based on the greatest commandments, which Jesus discusses in the gospels. One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, Of all the commandments, which is the most important? The most important one, answered Jesus, is this: Hear, O Israel: The Lord

our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Well said, teacher, the man replied. You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices. When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, You are not far from the kingdom of God. And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions. (Mark 12: 28-34) Chastity requires good executive skills and applications of the greatest commandments. These commandments are part of ancient wisdom, going back thousands of years when the Hebrew scriptures were written. Discussion Celibacy has caused many problems in the Roman Catholic Church. The evidence abounds. Chastity, on the other hand, is an idea whose time has come. Time-limited, renewable celibacy may be just the ticket for the current dilemmas in the Roman Catholic church. Time-limited, renewable celibacy may work for nuns and brothers, not just for priests. Chastity is democratic. Its for everyone. The priesthood is for everyone, too, but thats for another article. References Gilgun, Jane F. (in press). Religion in public life: Essays. Gilgun, Jane F. (2013). God loves girls and women. Gilgun, Jane F. (2013). The Roman Catholic Church dislikes women and girls. Gilgun, Jane F. (2013). There is a God. Gilgun, Jane F. (2013). Weve always known: Why dont we do it? Gilgun, Jane F. (2011). Lust, agape, philia, and erotic love. Gilgun, Jane F. (2011). Original sin is not original. About the Author Jane Gilgun is a professor and writer who wants all religions to be powerful in society by virtue of their teaching about compassion and showing compassion in everyday life. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the central teaching is love of God, self, and other, with no exceptions. I considered being a nun but I could not live a life of celibacy. I also probably cannot live in community, but that is another story.