Quick and Dirty Speech Making Part 1

Have you ever been face to face with a blank piece of paper? Stressing out because the clock is ticking closer and closer to your presentation deadline wondering when all your creative juices are going to kick in? Youre not alone. Creating an engaging and interesting speech is a challenge, even for experienced professional speakers. As a coach, I created a quick and dirty technique, to help my clients create interesting and engaging speeches. It works really well for things like self-introductions, best man speeches, and eulogies and even for corporate motivational talks, but it doesnt work for every topic. Still, its a good technique to master because the basic elements in this model are also part of more complex techniques. Todays episode is the first of a two-part program called, The Public Speakers Quick and Dirty Speechmaking. This approach has six steps and uses personal stories and examples as the foundation. Its very simple. And the best part is that the stories make the speech very easy to deliver and fun to listen to. You might want to try this technique as I explain it. Like most things, it gets easier with practice. Step One - Brainstorm Descriptive Adjectives So, the first step is to take out six pieces of paperthats right, exactly six. Go ahead, hit pause, Ill wait. Oh, dont forget to grab a pen. OK, ready? On the first piece of paper, write down the main topic. If its a best man speechwrite the name of the groom, if its a project at work, write down the project name.

Remember, youre brainstorming. Please dont edit any ideas, not yet.
Next, youll need a timer. You can use your cell phone or a watch. Set it for exactly two minutes. Until the timer beeps, write down as many descriptive adjectives for your topic that you can think of. For example, my topic is John, so I might write, energetic, magnetic, passionate, determined, strong-willed, motivated, compassionate, silly, frailyou get the idea, youre just listing descriptive adjectives. Remember, youre brainstorming. Please dont edit any ideas, not yet. If you think it, write it. Dont say, Nah, I can think of something better. The idea is to write down as many adjectives as you can in the two minutes. Think of it as a contest. The more you write the better. When your time is up, circle the best three words from your list. What do I mean by the best? Well, the ones that are the most interesting. The ones that might be a little unusual or unexpected. The ones that communicate the most. The ones that appeal to you. Youll know. Step Two - Defining Your Descriptive Adjectives Next, take each of the three descriptive adjectives that you just picked and write each of them, separately, on a piece of paper. So continuing my example, I might write motivated on one paper, compassionate on another and strong-willed on the third piece. Next, either underneath or next to each of the adjectives, youll need to complete the following sentence: To me the word (blank) means... So sticking with my example, I would write, To me the word motivated means The idea is to create your own definition for the word. Its really important that you use your own words to define the term, but feel free to use a dictionary if youd like some help. One big secret to great speeches is to remember to create the speech for the ear not for the eye. Choose words that are short, simple, and have as few syllables as possible. Make your sentences short. You can include a longer sentence here and there for variety, but most sentences should be short. Use contractions; because thats the way we speak. Use 10-cent words over 50-cent words. For example, on is better than upon and find out is better than ascertain. Be brief. The main idea of this second step is to create unique, personal definitions that are listener friendly.

So, getting back to my example. I might write, To me the word motivated means taking action, going the extra mile, especially when you really dont want to. Of course, youll need to create definitions for each of the three adjectives. Step Three Telling Your Stories For step three, youll need your timer again. Youll also need a way to record yourself. Just use one of those small digital recorders or use the web. Utterz.com is a good resource. For each of your adjectives give yourself three or four minutes. This time youllbrainstorm stories and examples that illustrate why or how these words apply to your topic. When you do this step, it is very important to just blurt out whatever comes to your mind. Youre not writing the story, youre talking, youre recording. The idea is to tell your story, even part of a story, as long as it makes sense to you, thats all that matters right now. Dont worry about the wording details, youre just trying to capture as many stories as you can. Some people really struggle with this step. Because they think a story is some long complicated thing. And Ive found, that for them, its sometimes helps to view this step as a sentence completion game. For example, (remember that you are saying this aloud), I know that John was motivated because... or I know this was true because The idea is to complete the sentence by telling a story or giving an example. In my example, I would say, I know John was motivated because he went to graduate school even though he was terminally ill. I know he was motivated because instead of feeling sorry for himself, he got involved in community education, oh, and also he got involved in fund raising. Notice, I am not giving a ton of details, just enough to remind myself of the story I could tell. Again, the desired outcome of this step is to come up with options. If you can only think of one example or one story, thats OK. But try to come up with alternatives so that you can choose the best story that youve got. Again, dont get hung up with the wording; youre going to refine the stories in the next step. Dont forget, youll need to brainstorm stories and examples for each of the adjectives you picked. If for some reason, you just cant come up with a story, just choose another adjective from your original list. Once you have stories for each of your words, then pick the best story for each. OK, lets review the process. Step one: choose your topic and brainstorm a list of descriptive adjectives. Step two: choose the best three words and create personal definitions for each of them. Step three: record your stories that are examples for each of these adjectives. Next week, well continue and complete the process. Youll learn how to refine your stories. Then youll learn how to create the beginning and the ending. And of course, the final step will cover how to deliver the talk. So, listen for The Public Speakers Quick and Dirty Speech Making Part 2.

Part 2:
Hey gang, this week picks up from last week's episode, where we talked about How to Write a Speech, Part I. We were talking about how difficult and time consuming it can be to develop aninteresting and engaging speech. Thats why I created a quick and dirty six-step speech creation technique to make it easier for you. Last week we covered the first three steps: choosing the topic, brainstorming and defining adjectives, and recording stories for each of the adjectives. Today, well continue with step four, fleshing out your stories. Step Four Fleshing Out Your Stories In step three, we recorded stories that are examples of the chosen adjectives. The fourth step is a little bit harder, because youll need to develop your stories a bit. Good stories usually include a setting, dialog, and descriptive detail. (They include other things as well, but for the beginner these are the important things to include.) So see if you can incorporate a setting, dialog, and descriptive detail. If you remember one of my stories was about John going to grad school, heres the story fleshed out.

I know that John was motivated because even though he was very seriously ill, he chose to pursue a rigorous graduate school education at the University of Pennsylvania. I remember, one day, he was in the hospital, and again I was trying to convince him to just drop out of school. [Notice, the hospital was the setting, and here comes the dialog.] With all his strength he whispered to me, I would rather work towards a goal and learn as much as I can, even if I dont ever get the chance to use it. As you can see by my example, the stories or examples dont need to be that long. Just a few sentencesthree or four is enough to make your point. Once youve verbally refined your stories, remember to jot some notes or key words for each story underneath the definitions you wrote in step two. It is important not to write out every word of your story. You just want key words as a reminder of the story you are going to tell. Step Five Pulling It All Together Now its time to pull it all together. Take out the last two pieces of paper. On the top of one write the word beginning and on the other one write the word ending.

Speeches are about sharing ideas and concepts that are intangible and difficult for the audience to grasp. The main idea of this approach is to make the invisible visible through the stories, the definitions, and the examples.
On your beginning page youll need to write out the following four pieces of information. 1. Youll need to say who you are and your relationship to the person or project, 2. Youre going to say how you met or know the person or got involved with the project (if it is obvious you can skip this step) 3. Youre going to tell them the purpose of the gathering. 4. Youll say that you are going to share three words, just three simple words and then list your three words. So following my exampleI would say Im Lisa, Johns wife. As John requested, were here to celebrate life and to share our memories of him. Id like to share with you three simple words, three words that for me, describe John--motivated, compassionate, and strong-willed. The reason I had you choose three adjectives (and not two or four) is because ofthe rule of three. The rule of three suggests that things in threes are inherently funnier, more satisfying, or even more effective than other numbers of things. We often hear this rule in slogans, for example you might remember "A Mars a day helps you to work, rest, and play" or remember the advice you were given as a kid, Stop, look, and listen before you cross the street, or in fires to Stop, drop, and roll. Many things are structured in threes, like movie trilogies (The Godfather Trilogy) or speeches, with a beginning, middle, and end. Of course theres also the three musketeers, three little pigs, and many more examples. Of course, now that you know the rule, youll notice it all the time. One other thing to keep in mind--when you organize your three adjectives, put your strongest choice last, and the weakest choice in the middle. And when you deliver your talk, be sure to talk about them in the same order you just arranged them. Now you just need to complete the ending. On the piece of paper where you wrote ending, just write this: Today, I wanted to share with you a few words about T (T being your topic) and I hope that through these three simple words, X, Y, and Z (your adjectives) you now know more than when I started. Finally, depending on the occasion and the topic you might want to add a very brief toast, a blessing, or a prayer. Step Six Deliver the Talk

Speeches are about sharing ideas and concepts. These are intangible and many times difficult for the audience to grasp. The main idea of this quick and dirty approach is to make the invisible visible through the stories, the definitions, and the examples. When its time to deliver the speech, organize your five main papers in the correct order. Tell them your beginning, and move the middle by stating the first adjective, describing your definition, and moving onto your story. Continue with your speech using the second and third adjectives. Its very important that you dont read your notes directly. Talk to your audience;talk as if you are having a conversation with one single person. Tell the stories as if you are sitting at the dinner table. Let your natural feelings show. Your audience will remember your three key messages through the adjectives, definitions, and most importantly, the related stories that you share. The next time you are asked to give a speech, you can relax. Last week you learned the first three steps, this week you learned, Step Four: refining your stories, Step Five: pulling it all together, and Step Six: delivering your speech. Now you know the Public Speakers quick and dirty six-step technique for making a sincere, interesting, and engaging presentation. I encourage you to give it try.

"The eyes are the windows of the soul. Ive always really liked that saying. For me it says that we get meaning from looking into someone's eyes; sometimes even more than what the words express. When I hold someones gaze, and I mean really look into their eyes, it make me feel like I am physically closer like I am making a connection. Eye contact. That's what were going to talk about today making a connection with your eyes. Well talk about why it's important and the common mistakes people make. That's all coming up... The Eyes Are the Most Powerful Weapon As a member of the human race we instinctively know the importance of eye contact. Its how you know if someone is paying attention or how you know if someone finds you attractive. In North America and most of Europe eye contact is critical for establishing trust. In fact, when a person averts his eyes hes perceived as untrustworthy, superficial, and non-receptive. But, it in todays global workplace it is also important to recognize that in some cultures steady eye contact is considered impolite or aggressive. When making presentations eye contact is very important. In fact, your goal should be to maintain eye contact 90% of the time.

When making presentations eye contact is very important. In fact, your goal should be to maintain eye contact 90% of the time.
I like to think of the audience as one person; one person with a lot of heads, but still one person. It helps me to keep my delivery conversational and reminds me to maintain eye contact like I would in a regular one-on-one conversation. When delivering a talk, I look directly into the eyes of a person and communicate a thought, then when I would normally look away, I just move to another set of eyes. So when I mentally shift from one idea to another, I also physically shift my eyes to a new personI might stay with one person for as long as 20 or 30 seconds. Of course, you don't want to mechanically zig zag through the room, you'll want to naturally move from person to person, and in a very large room from section to section. Keep in mind that the sweet spot in a large auditorium is about 2/3 of the way back towards the center. When you look there, a good portion of the audience will think you are looking directly at them, but dont forget to include the people in the very front, all the way back, and both sides. Most People Don't Maintain Enough Eye Contact So if youve had any public speaking training, its likely you already know the importance of eye contact, yet, Ive found that most people dont maintainenough eye contact during presentations; again your goal should be have direct eye contact 90-95% of the time. This means, not looking at your projected slides, and instead looking at all faces including people who are frowning, andnot looking up or down to plan your words. Talk to Your Audience, Not the Slides (Pitch the Laser Pointer) By far, the most common mistake is turning to look at the projected slides. This happens because most people use their slides as their notes. They jam a bunch text on a slide and then when they are presenting, they turn their body

to read the information thats on the slide. And the problem is worse when they use a laser pointerthats when even more turning and talking to the screen occurs. Most people dont even realize how often they are NOT looking at the audience. They think they are maintaining eye contact, but they are not. It definitely helps to watch a video of yourself presenting to see the extent of the problem. So How Do You Make it Better? The key to good eye contact is preparation. You'll need to prepare ahead of time so that youll never have to look at your projected slides. If you need notes to guide you through, then use a single sheet of paper with big printso that you can quickly glance at it and then return your gaze back to the audience before you speak. Or position your laptop so that it is in easy view in front of you. I always request a separate small table so that can I always see my laptop, even when I am walking around the stage. Regarding the laser pointer -- try not to use it. If you know that you plan to point something out on your slides, then you should modify your graphics so that the highlights are already included. Insert brightly colored arrows, boxes, or circles; whatever you need to highlight the key information. Ill admit it takes slightly more time to prepare but the payback is that your audience will know what to look at without having to wait for your laser light show. More importantly, you can keep your eyes on your audience. Give yourself time to adjust to this technique, it takes practice, but really works well. Oh, and keep the laser pointer handy, just in case you need to do some unplanned pointing during the Q&A period. Yes, Even the Curmudgeons Need Your Eye Contact The second most common mistake is not giving everyone in your audience eye contact. Particularly at the beginning of a speech, many speakers are nervousso they tend to look for the expressive, reassuring faces in the crowd. Ones that are smiling and nodding, and encouraging. And thats OK at the very beginning, especially if it relaxes you, but as you move through the speech you need to remember to include all the people in the audience. Including grumpy faces, frowning faces, and people with no expression at all. I remember one time that I gave a presentation. There was one guy in the audience who appeared to be annoyed with me; never smiling, never encouraging, in fact, frowning at times. I knew he was a VIP, so at the end, I went up to the organizer and mentioned his reaction. She rolled her eyes and said, Oh, him, hes our resident curmudgeon. He never likes any of our speakers. But, he already came up to me and told me how great he thought you were. He wants us to invite you back! I was astounded and more importantly it reinforced a very important lesson. Always include everyone with your eye contact, even people who appear to be responding negatively. Most importantly dont let that hurt your confidence. There is one caveat with this one. In todays global workplace, it is also important to be respectful with your eye contact. If you notice someone looking uncomfortable or uneasy when you look at them, its best to just to move on to another face. Up, Up and Away Another common mistake that frequently occurs is also one that most people are unaware of. When we engage in normal conversation typically we maintain eye contact, except when we are planning our next words. Depending on your cultural background, you may look up and away, you may look down, or you may look to the side. Some psychologists think we do this because concentrating on a persons face requires complex processing and by looking away we free up some processing space. In casual conversation, this habit doesnt negatively impact the communication. However, when making a presentation or participating in an interview, this behavior makes the speaker look unprepared and therefore somewhat disrespectful. Unfortunately, for non-native speakers, this happens even more frequently. So how do you solve this problem? Well, of course, practice helps reduce them amount of spontaneous word planning. It also helps to try to train yourself to look between people instead of up or down if you need to take a moment to plan your next words. So there you have it, the top three common eye contact mistakes: looking at the projected slides, not including everyone, and looking away when word planning. Actually there are several other mistakes, but well have to cover them in another episode.

Effective & Authentic Communication

Today well be talking about effective and authentic communication. Why Do Effective Communication Skills Matter? Communication counts. And if you're listening to this podcast, it's likely I'm already preaching to the choir. However, I can't tell you how many people say to me, well, I just don't do that much speaking. Or, in my profession communication is just not that important. In my mind, this is what I hear... What? How can you possibly think that? I don't care what profession you're in. The ability to inform, motivate, and persuade others in an engaging and compelling manner is ALWAYS important. Effective Communication Skills Get You What You Want How we communicate--confidently (or not), positively (or not), persuasively (or not) determines how effective we are at meeting our goals. People who communicate better get promoted faster. People who communicate better get hired. In short, people who communicate better get the things they want. I would argue that effective communication skills are the most important skills for professional (and personal) success. And perhaps more importantly, when people communicate ineffectively, when they make a communication error, they lose credibility, they lose money, and they lose respect. Communication Gaffes Cant Be Reversed While it's still fresh in our collective memory, let me remind you of the weird trifecta of public communication gaffes that happened over the past week.

When people communicate ineffectively they lose credibility, they lose money, and they lose respect.
If somehow you missed the news, during the MTV Video Music Awards, award winner Taylor Swifts acceptance speech was ruined by Kanye West, who took the microphone away from her to express his thoughts on who should have won. South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson shouted "You lie!" in the middle of a speech by President Barack Obama. And tennis pro Serena Williams lost game, set, and match (and $10,000 in fines), because she yelled and cursed at a line judge. The thing is, you cant take back your words. Communication cant be reversed. Especially in todays world of cell phones, digital cameras, and YouTube, you never know when your mistake will be posted for the entire world to see, over and over again. (Remember poor Lauren Upton, the 2007 beauty pageant contestant that struggled with her response to a question. Her video has now been viewed over 36 million times). Your Communication Style Matters Of course, these examples are extreme. But there was also a more subtle example of the importance of communication skills last week too. I watched a few episodes of HGTVs Design Star this season and last week was the final episode of this interior design competition. The judges had to decide between two final contestants; one would win their own television show. Neither competitor was a CLEAR winner in terms of design skills--each had their own unique strengths (although Im sure some will argue that point). In my opinion, ultimately it came down to hosting skills. Each contestant was very different when it came to their on camera communication style. Contestant, Dan Vickery struggled with eye contact and giggling, which I think was mostly due to nerves. In contrast, contestant Anthony Ballatore was extremely comfortable in front of camera. In fact, his style was described as unorthodox-someone who is who he is and doesnt care.

Heres what I think, Anthony won the contest because his on camera communication style was viewed as more authentic, engaging, and fun. Especially today in our digitally focused society, we want to engage with authentic people. How to Communicate Authentically I think most people know its a bad idea to communicate like an insincere telemarketer reading a script. But it may not be as clear what it means to be authentic, particularly in todays world where personal and professional often blend together. And although my definition of how to communicate authentically is still evolving, I think its important to give it a try. From a very broad perspective, I think being authentic means being comfortable in your own skin and willing to risk being yourself--being real--in front others. I learned very early in my career that it isn't impossible to please everyone, so I might as well just be myself. (In fact, after my very class that I ever taught I wasreading the evaluation forms. The very first one said, Lisa was too serious and didnt smile enough and the very next evaluation read, Lisa included too much humor in the classroom. She needed to be more serious.) So how can you be yourself? How can you communicate authentically?
o o o o o o o o o o

Be sincere Be naturally conversational and casual Use short sentences Be honest and direct Use common vocabulary that you are comfortable with Using appropriate humor Be fun Be specific and descriptive Use I/me statements

Tell personal stories that provide glimpses into your life outside of work Communication counts. Whether you are communicating privately, speaking publicly, networking online or inperson, interviewing, resolving conflict, mentoring someonereally communicating in anywayyour ability to communicate effectively and authentically will have an impact on your success. No matter what your profession, your ability to be a credible, engaging, and authentic will advance your career. It is important to share who you are in your own words and in your own way so that you can get the things you want. I think some that Oscar Wilde said sums up my feeling about what it takes to be an effective communicator today, Be yourself because everyone else is taken.

How to Introduce Yourself

Today Ill cover mastering the art of self-introduction. How to Introduce Yourself Next week, my twin girls will be entering kindergarten. Last week they each received a hand-written letter from the principal of the school. She introduced herself to the girls by listing her favorite things to eat and by sharing her summertime activities. My husband and I also received a letter of introduction. However, in our letter, the principal described her experience and background along with her goals for the upcoming year.
Want to practice your introduction and get feedback? Click here.

I have to say I was impressed. Its clear this principal understands that people quickly form strong opinions based on first impressions, and that a well-crafted, strong, self-introduction is a critical part of making a good first impression.

Whether you are in a classroom or a conference room-- or even online--the ability to effectively introduce yourself is a critically important communication skill. First impressions are made quickly and they are very difficult change. In this episode Ill cover quick and dirty tips for effectively introducing yourself.
Do you need to know how to introduce yourself in a meeting? Do you need to know how to introduce yourself in the classroom or in front of a group?

Use the Other Persons Name First, if possible, all introductions should start with the name of the other person. Of course, in a letter or on online, thats easy to do: Dear Ariana or Hi Daniela. In person, its tempting to start with your own name, but if you know the name of the other person, use his name first. In a group setting, you can just say: Hi, everyone! Once youve said your greeting, then you should say your name. In fact, in a professional setting, its important to say your name twice. Its also a good habit to slow down and say your name clearly. For example, Hi Jane, Im Lisa, Lisa Marshall. Depending on the setting you may also want to include your title, your company, or appropriate context. Hi Mary, Im Lisa, Lisa Marshall. Im one of the speakers today. Its great to meet you, Mary. Notice, youll want to say the name of the other person twice as well. That will help you to remember her name and it shows your interest in her. Communicate Proper Body Language As you are saying these initial words, remember that the majority of your impact will come from your tone of voice and body language. Of course, with all introductions youll want to communicate enthusiasm by smiling, using direct eye contact, and speaking with an upbeat, positive tone of voice. In a business setting, youll likely also include a handshake. Youll want a firm, full-handed, web-to-web, handshake. Be sure to listen to my previous episode on effective handshaking and be sure to test your handshake on several folks before important introductions such as job interviews. Along with a confident handshake, youll also need to walk and stand with confidence. That means walking slightly faster than normal, with your shoulders back. I always like to imagine someone pouring cold water down my back because this mental image helps me to move faster and keep the right posture. Your goal is confidence but not over-confidence (thats just intimidating and off-putting). And remember, fresh breath is important. Always carry mints with you. Build Rapport Through Common Ground Next, an important part of any introduction is to consider your audience. Who exactly are you introducing yourself to? What will they find interesting and compelling? What can you share that might help to quickly build common ground and help you make a connection? In the letter the principal sent to my children she mentions that she likes to eat pizza and ice cream and go to the beach in the summer. Of course, she chose these particular things on purpose--what kid doesnt like pizza, ice cream, and the going to the beach! Similarly, in the parent introduction letter, she shares her goals for the new students during the year--which of course, are shared by any parent. In a classroom setting, students and teachers should share their interests, their educational goals, and their activities--again in an effort to establish common ground. In a conference room, its really no different. Business professionals share their professional interests, their business goals, and their business activities. Again the goal is to establish common ground and make a connection. It can be anything that you are both interested in. It doesn't have to be school or business related. It doesn't even have to be of great importance. Just be sure to start with "safe" obvious links and avoid controversial topics. Hi, Mary, Im Lisa, Lisa Marshall. Its great to meet you Mary. Im a communication specialist and Im also one of the speakers today. Id love to hear who you thought was the best speaker so far? Be Brief and Conversational

Self-introductions should be short and conversational. Share something about yourself, then ask a question that invites the other person to join the conversation.

Notice that self-introductions should be short andconversational. After sharing very briefly about yourself, you then ask a question that helpslead your partner into a conversation. (The exception of course, is in an interview setting, where its best to let your interviewer lead the conversation). Its possible to be conversational even in writing--again by asking questions. In the letter from the principal to my girls, she encouraged them to write her back by asking them what they liked to eat and do during the summer. How to Introduce Yourself to a Roomful of People However, at times, a self-introduction may be one-sided --such as when a roomful of people are asked to introduce themselves. In this case, you may be asked to provide specific information, but at other times you may be free to respond in any manner you choose. The first case is easy--just remember to include a greeting, your name, and all the requested information (regardless of the responses of previous participants). Focus On Three Things Only When the introduction details are your choice, I recommend picking three things that you think others in the group might be able relate to. Again, the idea is to build rapport. By choosing just three things, your introduction will be more memorable. In addition, you can expand and contract the length of your response by providing examples or details for each of your chosen three things. For example, for a very short introduction I might say something like, Hi, everyone. Im Lisa, Lisa Marshall. Im a professional speaker and author who enjoys dancing and photography. For a longer answer I might say something like Hi everyone. Im Lisa, Lisa B. Marshall. Im a professional speaker and author. I specialize in communication skills and Im excited because my new audiobook on interviewing skills will be released shortly. I enjoy dancing, although Im not that good at it. I really love Latin music and salsa dancing is my favorite. I also enjoy photography. In fact, I am thinking of buying myself a digital SLR for my upcoming birthday. So in summary, first remember using names are important. Showing enthusiasm and confidence are also essential. Then remember to build rapport through common ground. Be conversational and brief, focusing on only three things. I love to hear from listeners and as your back-to-school homework, I invite you to send me your selfintroduction. Really!
As a native English speaker, I'd like to offer a few suggestions to everyone who left a comment here, as many of you have similar questions, and have made similar errors. These suggestions are for people who will be speaking, or writing, English in an English speaking country, such as the U.S., Great Britian, and Canada. In writing, read what you have written. Then read it again. Is it PERFECT? Every letter, comma and space should be CORRECT. And is spelled a-n-d, not "n", not "nd". DO NOT USE NETSPEAK, spell every word. Do not use r for are, m for am, n for and. Don't use ANY letters in the place of words. OK? Buy a dictionary. Read it every day. I did as a child and I learned about many interesting things. I learned how to spell, and how to pronounce words (hint hint). If you have ANY doubt about something you are writing, look it up. This is very important, especially in job-related situations. English is VERY hard to learn and harder to master, so give yourself the advantage of knowing how to spell. The word I (referring to yourself) is ALWAYS capitalized. You should never EVER use a lower case i for the word I. OK? When you call someone by their name, use the name they mention when they introduce themselves. If they say, "Hi, my name is Mr. Jones, Bob Jones", call him Mr. Jones. If they say, "Hello, I'm Mary, Mary Smith", call her Mary. So then you would say, for example: Hi Lisa, my name is Andy, Andy Smith, I'm glad to meet you Lisa. I'm an electrician and I work in new construction of offices. I like to build RC models and I love photography. Maybe you can tell me why it is so hard to speak in front of a group of people. I get very nervous. If you want people to refer to you, as Paul and Liz have wondered, as Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jones or Ms. Lane (the generic female title-not indicating marital status) then introduce yourself that way. If you are a teacher, or customer or someone in a superior position, don't tell them your first name. Hello, I'm Mr. Smith, I'll be teaching English 101. If you are not sure, use their title and last name until they allow you to use their first name. If you are equals, you should call each other by first names though. Use capital letters to start EVERY sentence. Put a space after every period. Capitalize the word I. Don't use netspeak: lol, hve, rly; spell everything. Fail. You can't get it right every time. Do it anyway. Smile. Be proud. Focus on what you are saying. Good luck everyone, YOU CAN DO IT!!

Everyday Storytelling
Back in October, British listener Phil Grainger wrote:
I struggle with speakers who dont tell a story; they just use facts <boring>. Can you share your thoughts on effective storytelling?

Then just today, 17 year-old New York City listener, Kaci, sent me an email that read:
Do you have any advice on effectively telling a story?

If youre a regular listener, you know that last week I started talking about what makes a compelling story, and today I have much more to add. Last week, I discussed the importance of getting attention from the start and including a memorable close. As examples, I talked about the movieSlumdog Millionaire and I also incorporated a very quick personal story. I used two different stories on purpose so that this week we could talk about additional fundamental features of effective stories. So, if you didnt listen or read last weeks show you might want to do that now. Why Is Storytelling Important But, before we talk about the basic building blocks of a story, let me take a step back and briefly talk about why storytelling is so powerful. Humans have an instinctive predilection for stories. Think about it. Togo the caveman hunts the big wooly mammoth and he returns to tell his story by painting pictures on the cave walls. Today, Jon, comes back from a big night out at the bars and shares his story by posting gossip and photos on his Facebook wall. We all tell stories. We tell stories of romantic love. We tell stories about our conflicts. We tell stories that explain how we got that distinctive scar on our knee.

If youre trying to inform, persuade, motivate, or entertain, you need to incorporate stories. That means every time you speak, you should think about how to enhance your message with stories.
Stories Connect Communities Stories connect people. Storiespromote social cohesion, convey complex meaning, and communicate common values and rules. Its how we learn from other peoples experiences. More importantly, stories provide a rich context for learning, which means were better able to remember a storys ideas and act on them or share them with others. In fact, recent research suggests (Green, 2004; Escalas, 2007) that people accept ideas more readily when presented in a story than when presented as facts for analysis. I included references in the show notes if you are interested in learning more about that. So basically what Im saying is this: if youre trying to inform, persuade, motivate, or entertain, you need to incorporate stories. Yes, that means, every time you speak, you should think about how to enhance your message with stories. What Is A Story? In my experience, many people struggle with creating and telling stories. Im not exactly sure why. Maybe its because they think storytelling is something bigger than it really is. Stories are just a sequence of actions or events. Ira Glass, who is a master storyteller and the host of NPRs This American Life, says a story is a person saying, This happened, and that led to this next thing, and this next thing and so on; one thing following another. And some things in the sequence can be: then that made me think of this, and that made me say this. The Plot Putting actions into a sequence is a story. Its that simple. And stories make listening to anything more interesting. Last week I could have said, I sawSlumdog Millionaire. Instead, I explained a sequence of actions: my husband making a suggestion, me needing to do work, but ultimately deciding to go to the movie anyway.

So did you notice how I worked in that minor internal conflict? Many times stories are created by an internal or external struggle between opposing forces. In Slumdog Millionaire, the main character is torn between his sense of loyalty to his brother and his love for a girl. The Setting Usually a story begins by establishing the setting. Slumdog Millionaire starts with images of present day slums in Mumbai, India. This tells us where and when the actions take place. The purpose is to engage us or transport us directly into the story. Research (Green, 2004) suggests that the closer our prior experiences and knowledge are to the story, the more well be engaged. So what does this mean for everyday storytellers, like us? You know, people who tell stories at the dinner table, at parties, during interviews, or maybe evenduring work presentations. It just means we need to establish a setting-one that the listeners can easily relate to. For example, you might say "At school last week" or "As I was driving home from work" or "Two years ago when I was living in New York city" In last weeks show I established the context by saying, This past Saturday afternoon when I was supposed to be finalizing my presentation The Characters OK, so once the setting has been established you need characters to make the story happen. Its the characters that interact in the setting, perform the actions, and make decisions. You can develop characters by using dialogue and actions. By incorporating dialogue into the story, the listener learns about the character, not only by what they say, but how they say it. The characters actions, even more than the words, define the character, the true character. For purposes of everyday storytelling, always include dialogue and incorporate actions. For example in my personal story last week, I included the dialogue between my husband and myself. I also included my decision to procrastinate. Again, I could have just said, I saw Slumdog Millionaire last weekend; instead, the dialogue and the action of my decision make the story more interesting. Oh and dont worry if you only have one character, you can still have dialogue by sharing inner thoughts. For example, last week I thought to myself, Wow, what a great attention getter. The Details Finally, its the juicy details that engage listeners and bring your stories to life. Of course, the details need to be relevant. You also need to balance the amount of detail with the time you have. Everyday stories tend to be short, so choose specific, descriptive verbs and adjectives. For example, saying She bounded across the room giggly with delight instead of, She went across the room, gives your listeners much more insight into the character. And be sure to only include details that directly impact your overall story. Otherwise youll leave your audience wondering why you bothered telling them that detail. To hear how details significantly enhance a story, listen to examples from master storytellers. So, todays quick and dirty tip is to strongly encourage you to enhance your messages with stories. Always start by briefly establishing a setting. Then introduce the characters through dialogue. Finally, describe the specific details of the action and decisions of the characters using descriptive verbs and adjectives. Phil, when it comes to presentations, I think there are two reasons why people communicate using a boring list of facts, instead of using compelling stories: either they dont understand just how powerful and important stories are, or theyve never been taught the fundamental building blocks of a story. So its up to each of you to share this episode with all the boring storytellers that you know! P.S. Be sure to check out all the bonus resources this week including a link to a Scientific American article on storytelling, videos of John Truby talking about the anatomy of a good story, videos of Ira Glass talking about storytelling in broadcasting, an example of a traditional and a modern day master storyteller, and finally a link to my favorite podcast, The Moth, which always has great stories that I learn from all the time.