Anda di halaman 1dari 68

Home Start Here About Archives Search Contact Simply Tina Connect with Your Creative WriterHow to Keep

a Relationship 20 Ways to Overcome Shyness Photo by Jordan Fraker. See more of his work here. Can you remember the last time you stepped into a room full of strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling rush over you? Or that heart thumping moment when you wanted to ask someone on a date, but were too shy to do so? Or wanting to approach someone for business, but was too hesitant to actually do it? That anxiety in the pit of your stomach in social situations? Does it always feel like something is holding you back?

Regardless of whether you are introverted or extraverted, we can all relate to that feeling of shyness at some point in our lives. Socially, we tend to have the misconception that only introverts experience shyness, but that is not true. Shyness has more to do with being uncomfortable with ones self, especially around other people. This article is the result of collaboration between Amanda Linehan, an introvert, and Tina Su, an extravert. Together, we wanted to shed some light on the topic of shyness in a collective perspective from both extremes. We will also share the ways that we used to turn shyness into personal empowerment. The Three Components of Shyness According to Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci of the Shyness Research Institute, shyness has three components: Excessive Self-Consciousness you are overly aware of yourself, particularly in social situations. Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation you tend to see yourself negatively. Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation you tend to pay too much attention to all the things you are doing wrong when you are around other people. Can you relate? When you are experiencing shyness, can you fit your state of mind into one or more of the above categories? We sure can. Why Do We Experience Shyness? We all experience shyness differently and on varying degrees. However, root cause can be boiled down to one of the following reasons: 1. Weak Self Image This is especially true to our experiences in high school. We would believe in the fallacy that our unique qualities were not interesting, cool or worthy of anyones admiration.We would try to fit in with everyone else, resulting in us not feeling like ourselves. Amanda: Looking back Im not even sure I knew what my unique abilities were, I just knew that everybody else seemed to be a cooler, more interesting person than I was, so I tried to imitate thempoorly.:)

Tina: I thought of myself as cool, because I was loud, and worked very hard at keeping that image. It was of course, a false image that I worked hard to keep. It was exhausting and I was exceedingly self conscious. Even though people didnt view me as shy, but I felt shy most of the time with a lot of built up anxiety. Turns out, the cool kids themselves have weak self images and wanted to fit in with everyone else. 2. Pre-occupation with Self When were around other people, we become extremely sensitive to what were doing, as if weve been put on center stage. This creates anxiety and makes us question our every move. Our focus centers around ourselves and particularly on what I was doing wrong. This can cause a downward spiral. Amanda: Coupled with a weak self image,I didnt thinkIwas doing anything right! And this would start a cycle that I couldnt get out of. What I understand now is that is that most people are not looking at me with the detail thatI was looking at myself. Tina: I too was very sensitive to my every move around other people. My senses were heightened to the way I talked, walked, laughed, etc. My focus was on how to not screw up in front of other people, and this made me very nervous. What I understand now is that everyone is so caught up with their own insecurities that they hardly notice yours. 3. Labeling When we label ourselves as a shy person, we psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. We may say to ourselves, I am a shy person, than it must be true that I am shy. This is how I am, and this is the way things are. When we label something, that thing has the perception of being fixed and therefore we must live up to the expectations of the labeling. Amanda: I was known by others as a shy person, or a quiet person, and this perception held me captive at times. People expected me to be a certain way and so I was. And knowing that other people regarded me as shy, in addition to my not wanting to be shy, resulted in great anxiety when I was with people. I really wanted to show myself to others when I was around them, but it was easy to simply go along with what others expected from me. Tina: Deep down, I felt the anxieties from shyness often, yet, when Im around people, I had to live up to the expectations that I wasnt shy. My experiences with shyness would manifest in unusual ways, like when Im ordering food, when I call someone on the phone, or speak to strangers. I would never let that side of myself show, but I do experience it. In those moments, I can hear myself say, I am shy. How to Overcome Shyness Weve both experienced different variations of shyness, and through practice and increased awareness we have both overcome this. The following are tips that have helped us overcome this uncomfortable feeling. Photo by Lauren 1. Understand Your Shyness Seek to understand your unique brand of shyness and how that manifests in your life. Understand what situation triggers this feeling? And what are you concerned with at that point? 2. Turning Self Consciousness into Self Awareness

Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most people are too busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching yourself as if you are other people, bring your awareness inwards. Armed with your understanding of what makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your thoughts. Self awareness is the first step towards any change or life improvement. 3. Find Your Strengths We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing ourselves. Its important to know and fully accept the things we do well, even if they differ from the norm. If everyone was the same, the world would be a pretty boring place. Find something you are good at and focus on doing it. An identifiable strength will boost your natural self esteem and your ego, helping you better identify with yourself. It is a short term fix, but will give you the confidence you need to break your self-imposed barrier of fear. See how your unique strength gives you an advantage. For example, Amanda is a naturally quiet person who prefers to spend time alone. She learned that she listens better than others and notices things that others miss in conversations. She also discovered that her alone time has given her a better understanding of herself. 4. Learn to Like Yourself Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression that is you. Write a love letter to yourself, do things you enjoy, give gratitude for your body and its effortless functions, spend quality time getting to know yourself, go on a self-date. 5. Not Conforming Trying to fit in like everyone else is exhausting and not very much fun. Understand that it is okay to be different. In fact, underlying popular kids public displays of coolness, they too are experiencing insecurities, self-consciousness, and awkwardness. Accept that you may not be perceived as the most popular social butterfly, and you may not want to be either. At the end of the day, being popular will not make you happy. Accepting your unique qualities can set you free. 6. Focus on Other People Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other people and what they have to say. Become interested in learning about others, and probe them to talk about themselves. You can try pondering the question while interacting: What is it about this person that I like? 7. Releasing Anxiety through Breath

Anxiety and fear can feel overwhelming if you are practicing to become more assertive in order to overcome this fear. One simple technique to calm this anxiety into manageable bites is taking deep breaths with your eyes closed, while concentrating on just your breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly while clearing out all thoughts. Another technique is from yoga: counting as you inhale and then as you exhale. Slowly leveling out your inhale and exhale duration. Example, 4 count for in and 4 for out. Once your breaths are leveled, add an extra count during your exhale. This means slowing down your exhale by just a tad as compared to your inhale. Continue for a few minutes

until you are comfortable, than add another count to your exhale. You can easily do this in the bathroom, or in a spare room of when you need it. 8. Releasing Anxiety through Movement One way of viewing anxiety is that it is blocked energy that needs to be released. We can release this energy through physical movement. Exercises like jogging or walking will help to re-channel some of the blocked energies, but also helps by pulling you out of the situation and shifts your state of mind. This refreshed state of mind will help by adding perspectives to things. Another effective technique is a simple muscle meditation/exercise. Sit down or lie down. Bring awareness to every part of your body, starting from your toes and moving up your body to the top of your head. At every part of your body, tighten the muscles at the center of awareness for 3-5 seconds, and then relax. Repeat this until you get to the top of your head. Remember to breathe. 9. Visualization Visualizing yourself in the situation as a confident and happy person helps to shape your perception of yourself when you are actually in the situation. Close your eyes, sit back somewhere relaxing, listen to some relaxing music, imagine yourself in a scene or situation and see yourself the way you would like to be. In this scene, how do you feel? What do you hear? Do you smell anything? Are you moving? What do you see? Get all your senses involved to make it real. 10. Affirmation Words can carry incredible energy. What we repeatedly tell ourselves, gets heard by our unconscious mind, and it acts accordingly. If we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are incapable, and too shy to do anything, we will become increasingly aware of evidence to back up this fact, and our actions will always match what we tell ourselves. Similarly, if we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are capable, confident, and wonderful human beings, our unconscious mind will likely surface the awareness that gives evidence to this new fact. While, we cant lie to ourselves, positive visualization and affirmation are helpful in placing us along the road of positive thought patterns. 11. Do Not Leave an Uncomfortable Situation When we leave shy situations, what we are really doing is reinforcing our shyness. Instead, face the situation square in the face. Turn the fearful situation into a place of introspection and personal growth. Become the observer and dig into yourself, answer the questions: why do I feel this way? What caused me to feel this way? Can there be an alternative explanation to what is happening? 12. Accept Rejection Accept the possibility that we can be rejected and learning to not take it personally. Remember, you are not alone and we all experience rejections. It is part of life and part of the learning process. The key lies in how you handle rejections when they come. It helps to be mentally prepared before they happen: Never take it personally. It was not your fault. It just wasnt meant to be. The scenario was not the best fit for you. Find the lesson what did you learn? There is a lesson ingrained in every situation. And through these life lessons lies the potential for you to become a better person, a stronger person. Nothing is lost if you can find the lesson. See these as the blessings in disguise.

Move on. Recognize that when you fall into self-pity, you are not moving forward. Nothing will be changed from your self-pity. When you start to recognize this, it becomes clear that only energy is wasted while we feed to our problem-seeking ego. Pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and move on to the next thing. Try again, try again, try again. It will pay off! 13. Relinquish Perfectionism When we compare ourselves, we tend to compare ourselves with the most popular person in the room or we compare ourselves with celebrities we see on TV. We set excessive expectations by comparing ourselves unreasonably to people unlike ourselves and wonder why cant I be that? We carry with us a vision of anothers perfection and expect ourselves to fit that exact mold. And when we dont fit, we beat ourselves up for it, wondering why we are such failures. You see, the problem lies in our emphasis on fitting into a vision we have created in our minds, which is not us. Let go of this perfect image, create visions of yourself out of the Being from who you are, naturally; and let that expression flow, naturally. Photo via g2slp 14. Stop Labeling Yourself Stop labeling yourself as a shy person. You are you, you are unique, and you are beautiful. Cant we just leave it at that? 15. Practice Social Skills Like any other skill, social skills can be cultivated through practice and experience. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it becomes next time. If you have a hard time knowing what to say, you can practice what to say ahead of time. 16. Practice Being in Uncomfortable Situations Sometimes, it is not the social skills we lack, but rather the lack of self confidence that we may succeed, and a heightened fear that we will fail. Placing yourself in these uncomfortable situations will help to desensitize your fear towards the situation. The more you force yourself to face it, and to experience it completely, you will realize that it is not that bad after all. It may be hard for your ego to accept at first, but quickly you will find that you can just laugh and enjoy it. 17. The Three Questions During social settings where you may experience nervousness, periodically ask yourself the following three questions. Doing so will distract yourself from more self-destructive thoughts. Make it your mantra: Am I breathing? Am I relaxed? Am I moving with grace? 18. What is Comfortable for You? Going to bars and clubs isnt for everyone, and thats okay. Understand what feels comfortable for you, and find people, communities and activities which bring out the best in you. You can be just as equally social in settings that you connect with on a personal level, than the popular social settings. You dont have to be doing what everyone else is doing. Besides, everyone else isnt necessarily happy, despite your perception as such. 19. Focus on the Moment

Becoming mindful of what youre doing, regardless of what youre doing, will take focus away from the self. When you are having a conversation, forget about how you look, focus on the words, fall into the words, become absorbed in the words. The tones. The expression. Appreciate it and give gratitude for it. 20. Seek and Record Your Successes As you overcome this condition weve been labeling as shyness, you will have many wins and realizations about yourself. You will gain insights into the truth behind social scenarios. You will start to view yourself differently and come to recognize that you can become comfortable and confident. When these wins and realizations happen, make sure to keep a notebook and write them down. Keeping a journal of your successes will not only boost self confidence, but also shift your focus towards something that can benefit you. What are some of your moments of shyness? What did you do to overcome them? If you havent overcome them, why do you think that is the case & what can you do about it next time? See you in the comments! :) If you enjoyed this article, please join TSN on facebook (add Tina here) or follow us on Twitter. And wed love it if you can share this article on twitter, facebook or thumb it on StumbleUpon. Thank you for your support. :) External Resources Related to how to not be shy Book: Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk Book: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks Book: The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook Psychology Today: Shedding Shyness Psychology Today: Shyness: The New Solution Audio: Secrets of Extreme Self-Esteem Other Articles Related to how to overcome shyness: 8 Keys to Instant Charisma The Secret to Self Loving 6 Steps to Deflate Self-Defeating Fears The Art of Smiling How to Really Listen to Someone

Popular search terms for this article: how to overcome shyness, overcoming shyness, how to not be shy, shyness, overcome shyness, how not to be shy, how to get over shyness, how to not be shy around guys, how to get rid of shyness, How to avoid Shyness Leave a comment? Like this article? Sign up for updates Think Simple Now delivers weekly self-reflective, inspiring stories from real people. Join our empowering community: Entering your Email below and click Subscribe.

This entry was filed under happiness. Email this page. Browse in Timeline: Connect with Your Creative Writer How to Keep a Relationship Advertising 310 Responses (258 Comments, 52 Trackbacks ): Comments Marc and Angel Hack Life Jul 01 08, 6:06 pm PDT 1 Tina, This reminds me of my wifes favorite quote: The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid - Claudia Lady Bird Johnson Another wonderful article! Dugg! ;-) Marc C. Peter | The Change Blog Jul 01 08, 6:12 pm PDT 2 Excellent article as always Tina. All these tips are great, but I particularly find #16 Practice Being in Uncomfortable Situations to be effective in combating shyness. Although uncomfortable, such situations give me a rush and make me feel alive. Whenever I feel myself becoming shy, I try to recall this feeling and then just do it, whether it is approaching a stranger or standing in front of a room full of people to give a talk. ************************* REPLY I approach strangers a lot. Now, its the strangers who are more nervous and shy than I am. haha standing in front of a room full of people to give a talk. I need to do that. Thanks for the reminder Pete! Toast masters.. here I come. :) Tina Shilpan | Jul 01 08, 6:18 pm PDT 3 Tina, Ive been shy during my early childhood till late teenage years. In college, I met with a friend who never knew fear and he was full of life. He was my roommate. After six months together with him, I stumbled upon a shiny truth I needed to come out of my own shell. Thats all.

Ive been very outgoing, positive since then. Thanks for sharing this. Shilpan Daniel Edlen Jul 01 08, 7:28 pm PDT 4 Great suggestions for introspection, Tina. Ive also found recently because Im spending so much time promoting my artwork that having something to talk about, something that Im passionate about, can make any selfconscious hang-ups melt away. It becomes about the topic, and making the connection, instead of about me. I was and am quite shy when talking about myself without context, but that disappears when I get to rambling about what I do, (like right now!) Peace. Daniel Richard | WE Jul 01 08, 7:32 pm PDT 5 Looking back when I was in secondary school, I wasnt the type who would talk to others without much problem. Id say that I was a super introvert back then. Haha. The cool thing is that years later, Ive learnt to like myself more (#4), and that there are things I have in my mind that others would benefit lots from and vice versa. I too agree with most of the points there in your article Tina, like not to label ourselves. I had stop saying that Im a shy person ever since 2 years ago, and that actually helped after a period of time. John Rocheleau Jul 01 08, 7:34 pm PDT 6 When we see that we are shy, and then begin to overcome it using methods such as these, we discover that there is much more to us than we previously gave ourselves credit for. From that point onward, the world is a bigger, brighter place. :-) John Sara Jul 01 08, 8:20 pm PDT 7 Im so happy that you made the distinction between shyness and introversion up front. Its a huge misconception that the two are interchangeable. As annoying as that assumption is to introverts, it doesnt help extrovert-leaning folks, either. Im sure a few shy extrovert-inclined people feel like a light bulb is going off above their heads after reading this. NivasKapil Jul 01 08, 8:41 pm PDT 8 Tina, I strongly Believe in Incantations than just Affirmations.. Incantations involves active usuage of Emotional triad and that makes them so much powerful. BTW,

awesome one Keep going.. Jonathan Mead Jul 01 08, 8:59 pm PDT 9 The best thing for me is to just feel the discomfort and do it anyway. I used to be nervous of talking to strangers or making eye contact with people I would cross on the street. Now I make a point to make eye contact with everyone and initiate greeting them. Its become such a habit now I dont even think about it. =) Sara Jul 01 08, 9:15 pm PDT 10 This is EXACTLY what I needed to read right now. Thanks so much! GREAT advice. Ive come over my social anxieties many times but I always fall back into it somehow. I just need reminders and affirmation of all of the things I can do. I know I can overcome it and be myself, I just need to remember that I can. Jarrod - Warrior Development Jul 01 08, 9:40 pm PDT 11 Good advice. I will write about this battle on monday. Entering university I was very shy and I would avoid answering any questions (like the majority of the rest of the class). 4 years later I was teaching later year classes as a tutor, a very big change. One key practice was battling fear not just everyday, but in every moment. Giyen Jul 01 08, 9:41 pm PDT 12 Tina, Thanks for such great posts. Its inspiring! Though no one would probably describe me this way I am exceedingly shy. I just put on my game face and just do it. I find that getting older (and wiser) helps with shyness as well. I dont have issues with looking silly anymore. :-) Cheers! Erik Jul 01 08, 10:51 pm PDT 13 You guys are really insightful. This is a really honest article and just reading it makes me feel better. Even though Im not shy upfront, I still have all those nervous habits (such as pre-occupation with self). Thanks for writing such a great article! R Jul 01 08, 11:35 pm PDT 14 Grate article. Very useful for all types of people. Shun Jian |

Jul 02 08, 1:02 am PDT 15 11. Do Not Leave an Uncomfortable Situation - I guess most shy people would really do just the opposite. Faced in an unfamiliar situation, the best strategy they can come up with is to leave. Indeed, we need to learn to face our fears, to conquer it and realize that the worst that can ever happen in any situation is that You get a NO. I wrote a related post on Why it does not pay to be shy not too long ago Learn from the lessons start living the life you deserve =) Scott McIntyre Jul 02 08, 2:01 am PDT 16 Thank you Amanda and Tina for such a helpful post. Its interesting to learn of the tools and techniques you both use to overcome shyness. As you suggest, even the most intraverted person can come out of their shell when they find themselves in a supportive environment. Yet, given the same situation, the extravert might very well withdraw. What factors lead to a supportive environment? You mention several that are internal and external to us. I guess confidence in our own skills and abilities, at that particular point in time, is a major factor. Equally crucial, is the combination of this with a good level of trust in the people around us. Ive read that actors are often very shy and that playing a part allows them to overcome this. Id be interested in your thoughts on what, if any, lessons we can learn from actors and whether adopting a persona can help us to overcome our shyness. still shy! Jul 02 08, 3:09 am PDT 17 These are great tips, but Iet me try to explain something about shyness. I have always been incredibly shy. I have been trying to improve for years, pushing myself out in the world, forcing myself to talk to new people every day in classes, at work, on the street, whatever. Sometimes I do fine, and sometimes Im filled with such an incapacitating fear that I shake, stutter, and my face contorts in fear. During bad periods, people cant help but notice how shy I am and they either pity me (which I hate) or they laugh at me. You see, I agree with the idea that most people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice you, but shy people can sometimes act in ways that seem really strange to a normal person which draws negative attention to themselves. The thing I hate most about my shyness is its inconsistency. Some days I can give a speech, or walk into a party and speak to everyone there and enjoy it. Other days I wont answer the door or be able to speak to anyone, even people I know well. My only point here is that despite their best efforts to improve, shyness is REALLY debilitating for some people and they may never completely overcome it. I will always keep on trying, but oftentimes it feels that I make no progress at all. Gerald Jul 02 08, 4:00 am PDT 18

Good article. I like that you threw in some research too, instead of just banging out something off the top of your head. One resource that helped me a lot was Its not so much about shyness as improving your social skills, but I found it covers a lot of the same problems that shy people have trouble with. Maria: Never the Same River Twice Jul 02 08, 4:36 am PDT 19 Im terrible at mingling unless I define an objective for myself. For example, if Im at a professional event, I might make it my goal to talk with people about their work and look for connections with what Im doing. This gets my mind off my shyness and gives me something to work toward. Mohammed Ali Jul 02 08, 4:52 am PDT 20 Hi Tina, Great post! This is what I do to overcome shyness: * During a meeting, rather than focussing on what people are thinking about me, I focus all attention on what is being discussed. Sounds simple, but works very well. * Irrespective of ones outer appearences & personality, be aware that we are neither better nor lesser than anyone. Beyond our self-image, we are all the children of God. JImmy DoWhipp Jul 02 08, 5:02 am PDT 21 Just DO IT. thats the best way I know of, just DO IT! JT http://www.FireME.To/udi Joseph Bernard Jul 02 08, 5:42 am PDT 22 Excellent article with lots of helpful ideas. One thing you missed was the innate nature of some people. Introverts are not as comfortable in new crowds and it is not because there is something wrong with them. I am one and I tend to be more introspective and quiet. I am more an observer and contemplative. I can do new places and people if I set my mind to it but otherwise I watch and observe because people are so fascinating. Thanks for sharing all this good information, Joseph Laurie Jul 02 08, 5:52 am PDT 23 This is a great article lots of good, solid advice. I particularly like #15: If you have a hard time knowing what to say, you can practice what to say ahead of time. The link

what to say ahead of time is additional good advice. We tend to think were on the spot when were with others, but we can do some preparation beforehand. When Im about to go into a new social situation, I think about who may be there and come up with some questions to ask others. This way, I get other people talking and as they do, I find more things to ask them about and can often insert a few comments or stories about myself to balance off the conversation (so its not an interrogation!). Dexter Barsinister Jul 02 08, 5:56 am PDT 24 Id just like to point out that this article is 100% bullshit. The causes of shyness are weak self-image, preoccupation with self, and labeling, this article says. In the real world, where shyness is investigated by scientists, shyness is a temperamental trait that is largely genetically inherited. In fact, decades of research by Kaplan et al have shown that adult shyness can be predicted 70% of the time from the way an infant behaves in its first few months of life. So swallow this psycho-babble bilge if you have an appetite for it, but dont mistake it for truth. aw Jul 02 08, 6:36 am PDT 25 Focus on Other People Good idea ^_^ Andrea Hess | Empowered Soul Jul 02 08, 6:44 am PDT 26 Great article, Tina! I think gaining the freedom to be my authentic Self is what helped me overcome the shyness of my early teenage years. I had been labeled a music geek in my junior high. I switched schools when I was fifteen and somehow knew that this fresh start was a huge opportunity to be myself! It was scary and intimidating to be in a new environment (it was a boarding school, so this was a 24-7 deal!), but I started out on exactly the right foot and ended up getting along very well with pretty much everyone. I think giving ourselves permission to simply be who we are allows us to be comfortable in our own skin, no matter what. Blessings, Andrea United Voices Jul 02 08, 8:00 am PDT 27 One thing that Ive learnt is that first of all its oneself who has to decide that ones got to change. After that, the whole world is yours. If you want to change, you should start from yourself. Maybe sometime, the first step is to attack ones shyness. Jonathan Jul 02 08, 8:50 am PDT 28

Hey you guys should check out EFT techniques. I have overcome alot of emotional problems, including shyness, using these techniques. They are quite amazing!!!! You can learn more wolfius Jul 02 08, 8:55 am PDT 29 Hi! great article :) I wanted to ask for permission to translate it to spanish and publish it on my blog as a page outside the timeline with the link to this page and credits of course :) Dani Jul 02 08, 8:56 am PDT 30 Ha! I love this. The answer to shyness is to get to know yourself. Take yourself on a a self-date. The reason this is so awesome is because Im pretty much guaranteed to get laid at the end of that date. Best date ever! Daniel Edlen Jul 02 08, 9:20 am PDT 31 @Dexter Tinas posts are about techniques to help people in their daily lives. To condemn the entire post because you believe entirely in the scientific nature argument over the psychological nuture position isnt very helpful. Whatever the cause of shyness or any issue that Tina discusses, her techniques for handling them are culled from some very distinguished sources and shes applied them in her own life. Is the entire self-help industry bunk? Does it matter if it helps? Peace. Hunter Nuttall Jul 02 08, 9:30 am PDT 32 Im so glad you made a distinction between introversion and shyness. I think its much more helpful to realize that these things are different (even if somewhat correlated). Im planning a pro-introvert post, and Ill be linking to your great tips for those introverts (or extraverts) who happen to also be shy! Anthony Jul 02 08, 10:26 am PDT 33 Simple-high school (effects which I still have yet a chance to wear off since graduation) Things were disastrous with girls I liked-well that and it was almost like I had multiple personality disorder. All in one sitting I was shy, and then I wasnt. This showed the most in acting class-Id get on stage and perform my heart out, and the next second-be dead quiet when some girl sat near me. ..just the way I am. Its still like that-extremely unshy one moment, a complete 180 the nextits frustrating-I wanna stick to the unshy person the entire time! When Im off to college I wanna be confident enough to freely express my art (something Im still EXTREMELY shy on people judging) and of course-datingto this day Ive still never had the pleasure of a girlfriendever.

My chosen career field is 2-d animation, how the hell am I gonna make it when I freak out about showing other people my cartoons?! (Im afraid they wont accept my new ideas!) Jesse Hines Jul 02 08, 11:15 am PDT 34 Guys, Nice, helpful, and comprehensive article. I especially liked this statement: Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other people and what they have to say. Thats keyforget about yourself and how others perceive you and just focus on enjoying getting to know others, asking them questions about themselves, listening to the answers, and responding appropriately. This statement is also really good: Placing yourself in these uncomfortable situations will help to desensitize your fear towards the situation. If were too hung up on ourselves and not interested enough in other people, then well be paying too much attention to ourselves and how others respond to us as opposed to simply getting know others. Good article. Thanks. steven Jul 02 08, 11:54 am PDT 35 Thanks a lot! Ill put this on practice, I really need to. I hope to forget about this shyness soon. Thank you. Naomi Niles Jul 02 08, 12:22 pm PDT 36 Ive dealt with a lot of issues around being shy most of my life too. One thing thats really helped me, surprisingly, is cleaning up my diet and cutting carbs in particular. I figured out that they make me feel nervous, unsettled, and foggy. Exercise is a really good one too. Its important to get rid of that extra energy. Pseudo Photographer Jul 02 08, 12:29 pm PDT 37 The easiest way to talk to people if youre shy is just to ask questions. Everyone loves talking about themselves =) Jeff@MySuper-Charged Life Jul 02 08, 1:20 pm PDT 38 I think we are all shy in certain situations. Therefore, the information you provide here is valuable to us all. For me, I find the best way to overcome my inhibitions in certain situations is to do so quickly without thinking about it too long. It is like ripping off a band-aid in one quick motion. Once its done, then there is nothing to fear. This is an incredibly detailed and useful article!

Murtaza Jul 02 08, 1:31 pm PDT 39 The tips for overcoming shyness were really really great.thanks :) Jennifer Jul 02 08, 2:06 pm PDT 40 Love this article! I think you did a great job of identifying some simple things people can do to help cope with this problem. I mostly find that I face shyness problems when Im in a social situation thats outside my comfort zone. The next time Im faced with one of these situations Im definitely going to be coming back to this article. elizabeth Jul 02 08, 4:28 pm PDT 41 I used to be very shy. I once read a book about how to overcome it. One of the tips was to talk to strangers. If youre waiting in line, on a bus, etc. This gets you used to just small talk. I really worked hard at doing this. It was not easy. After a while it really becomes simple. I also compliment a person if I want to meet them. Things like Wow, what a great tie. I love your perfume. Ive learned over the years that even if I dont really mean it, people soften when they hear it. I also ask people questions about themselves. People really do love to talk about themselves. It also takes the pressure off of you to keep the conversation going. People laugh when I refer to myself as shy. What they dont realize is that they are really doing the talking, not me. Paul Anthony Jul 02 08, 6:05 pm PDT 42 Tina for me will be good writer, share point-of-view how to improve your life. Very interesting write up, that you will realize and say to yourself its me , the real me. because overcome this shyness. Thanks TinaSee you Darrell Jul 02 08, 6:25 pm PDT 43 Very interesting article, we find in life that times of shyness can also be someones time to think through the issues at hand. I think being shy sometimes develops a persons self control, that self control in a person may be the developing exercise needed to perform the task at hand. Many lifes are tapped by shyness, is it shyness that creates the image of a person, or is shyness a part of a developing mine waiting to offer a idea that has been created by some type of resilient form? As Jesse stated, some people are just hung up on there self, when this happens one may seem shy, To make a judgment call If someone is being shy is hard to determine. Peoples mines work in strange ways, as this response will surely make clear. Theirs no way I can get into the argument over the psychological nature of this topic, however the approach that Ive taken here is from dealing with business associated over the last 35 years. I dont know the ages of the readers here, but I would guess to say that several are younger and will develop new outlooks on the Topic Of Shyness.

My personal thought on shyness is that its something one should grow out of once they call there self an adult, If you run around shy (if thats what you want to call it) you must have other issues that are much more that being shy. No Im not excluded from this trap of shyness, this does affect people and Im sure its much more to it than I can conclude. I went through this until I was about 20 or so, I was working with a Naval Officer and he came up to me one day and stated this. Darrell you have the potential to develop your business and do amazing things in your life. BUT! when you have the option of speaking when you should you fail. So I explained that my nerves went crazy and I got very shy sort of speak. Soultion from Mr. Navy, you worry about other people and what they think. Dont worry about what other people think and be yourself. It took getting use too but it worked, in 6 months I had exceeded the ranks of many that had the chance for over 10 years. Since, Ive built upon the fact that shyness is a weakness that no one can use to there advantage. I deal with Harvard Grads and other high powered educated clients that would break most people down. You would be surprised of the reactions that occur when my clients expect to be meeting with what Ill call one of there kind and there able to relax and be there self because the person that there meeting with is not one hung on himself and can be a realist and be his self. The Power of self confidence is a dominated factor is dealing with any type of shyness. Andrea Is on the right track, common sense is used to deal with everything, We should all think this way. I think giving ourselves permission to simply be who we are allows us to be comfortable in our own skin, no matter what. It only makes sense. An Advisor bramster Jul 03 08, 2:12 am PDT 44 Tina, I am pleased you are back from your sabbatical your content over the last few weeks has been fantastic! You are a real inspiration. Bramster digg worthy :) Alison Wiley Jul 03 08, 7:21 am PDT 45 I really like the emphasis here on knowing who we are and what we are about, and then being brave enough to show that to the world. Weve all got something valuable to offer. Here is the shape that my own overcoming of shyness has taken: Will is GALVANIZD Jul 04 08, 7:30 am PDT 46

HEY TINA! ROCK SOLID article on overcoming shyness! I remember reading a similar post on pickthebrain and I didnt comment on it for one reason or another. Since I *LOVE* anything to do with success in social situations and I didnt comment on that post, I was compelled to reply this one :) I think out of your post of 20 ways to attack shyness, the 5 MOST POWERFUL of the list are: - Learning to Like Yourself - Focus on Other People - Visualization - Practice your social skills (tied to dont leave uncomfortable situations, practice being in uncomfortable situations and what is comfortable) -Seek and record your successes These five (or 20%) would probably round account for 80% for overcoming a persons shyness if theyre continually cultivated. Ill go so far as guaranteeing that it will not only help people in overcoming shyness but also help becoming charismatic and awesome in connecting with people in general :) Kudos to you for helping the thousands of people who read your lovely blog to break out of their shells and connecting with other people! Cheers! - Will Desiree Jul 05 08, 11:03 am PDT 47 This article is totally not correct. Shyness is something people are literally born with. It even runs in families. Shy people dont have any worse self esteem than outgoing people. Sheesh! Talk about labels!!! kate Jul 05 08, 5:10 pm PDT 48 hi great author your article is very helpful and pleased, it make me feel couraged ,because things can change only it you keep self-improvement, i love to be intresting in others and learning others and put into practise every moment. Andre Young Jul 05 08, 6:02 pm PDT 49 great article, it helped me to clear some things ive been wondering. keep up the good work =D Julian Jul 06 08, 7:43 am PDT 50 Hello! Im new to your site but after thoroughly enjoying reading this article, I know Ill be coming back again and again. Although I consider myself friendly and open now, I used to be really really shy throughout my childhood up into high school. It wasnt until

college that I swallowed my pride and threw myself out there and tried to make as much friends as possible. Of course, Ive been rejected many times, but I was fortunate to meet some incredible people along the way. There was also this girl in college who I had the biggest crush on. Every time I saw her I would have like a nervous break down and sweat. One day I met her through a friend, and she ended up being very open and friendly. After a few weeks I decided to ask for her number and she gladly gave it to me. Although she ultimately only viewed me as a friend, we became so close that she told me I was her best guy friend. Thats when I realized that although things may not turn out the way we envisioned it to be, just fact that I was her best guy friend made me forget about trying to be her boyfriend or anything like that, and that the most important thing was whatever made her happy, was what made me happy too. We hang out all the time now and I couldnt be any luckier! Hari Karam Singh Jul 07 08, 9:23 am PDT 51 Great article. I also enjoy putting myself into uncomfortable situations sometimes Thoughsomeone once told me something that totally blew my mind. I had confided in her that I just never felt comfortable around certain groups of people that were pervading my life at the time and I always just blamed myself, my insecuritiesetc.. She told me, No, the reason why you were uncomfortable is simple. You were just waiting for people to come along who were worthy of your company. My advice: Dont always assume you are to blame. Some people arent ready for someone of your calibre ;) Hari Karam Regally Graceful Dan Jul 07 08, 11:00 pm PDT 52 It is important to distinguish between shyness and introversion. While shyness can be overcome, introversion is a character trait that is often confused with shyness, and sometimes demeaned. An introvert may prefer solitary pursuits and their social skills may become rusty. Under pressure from 3/4 ths of the population who are extroverts, the introvert may wrongly seek to become extroverted; an impossible task. The Kearsey temperment sorter or the Myers Briggs test are good indicators of personality traits. Web sites devoted to them will explain quite a bit about introversion, and other traits. Its important to know the difference between fear based aversion shyness, and ( for introverts ) a preference for less social pursuits. My $.02 Spencer Jul 10 08, 6:06 am PDT 53 Many here have made comments suggesting that shyness is genetic and therefore cannot be overcome. Looking back on my life, I would certainly say I was always introverted theres evidence of that in my earliest memories I must say there is

also evidence of shyness, though not nearly as pronounced, and almost always circumstantial. My point here is that introversion, may be an inherent trait that cannot (or maybe should not) be overcome, but shyness is something different entirely. Theres a fluidity to mine that tells me if I could just crack the code, I can be just as comfortable as I am in situation A as I have always been in situation B. I certainly hope thats the case. Ive always believed in our ability to change even on a cellular level so to suggest that people born with shyness (and I argue that may not be possible) can not change using the very helpful suggestion written here, is misguided at best. Thanks for a wonderful article. Best of luck to all. Ces Jul 10 08, 6:25 pm PDT 54 The I can do it principle helps a lot in overcoming shyness. Bryn Jul 10 08, 7:09 pm PDT 55 When I was a little kid I used to be mainly JUST shy and kind of out of touch with reality and the two fed off each other. When I was thrust into an uncomfortable situation in 5th grade (being sent to a new and MUCH bigger school) it forced me to come out of my shell and meet new people and trust me, it was earth-shaking for my little 5th grade self. Thankfully I have improved leaps and bounds since back then, but I still have moments of self doubt and shyness. Now as a senior in high school I am one of those people who is both shy and outgoing at the same time. I can be really extroverted for example when I am in school. From 8.003.00 I am pretty much non stop an extrovert always talking to people, making jokes, laughing, etc. Its a lot easier for me to be like that in school because there is a ROUTINE and I have mastered the routineits a lot easier to break the rules if you will when there ARE rules. But thrust me into summertime and I feel like wild coyote after he has run off a cliff he is kind of just suspended there in mid air for a while before he starts to fall. You know, that kind of high feeling you have, the feeling of confidence and selfassurance that comes from succesfully navigating throughout different social situations. In this case, I mean the school year. Im good for a couple of weeks, hanging out with friends, feeling good, etc. But after a while that feeling starts to decline I dont SEE these people every day so its harder to plan outings, hanging out, going to see movies and stuff. In addition to that I dont have siblings so besides when I hang out with friends or whatever I am basically kind of stuck in a different world a world where the interests of my family are the main ones influencing my life. Not that I am a total loner or anything, I do have friends and we do hang out in the summer. Its just that having once been a chronically shy person I realize what it USED to be like for meWhen I turn around I can see the darkness way back there in the tunnel I just came out ofMy confidence in my own abilities starts to slipI become more introverted because I kinda just want to stay home all day and watch tv or surf the internet because its too much effort to try and coordinate things with other peoplenot to mention that a deep core part of me is still afraid. But Im trying to remind myself of a lot of the things you mentioned every day that I am awesome, that I am talented, that people DO want to hear what I

have to say, but I have to believe in myself before they will believe in me!! I dont know how well I explained any of my feelings might be scratching your head wondering wtf is she talking about, Wile E. Coyote? But yeah either way its a load off my chestGood luck to all you fellow sufferers of the shyness disease! I feel ya and i empathize. Not that I am in any real position to pontificate, but my advice to you is that essentially as a shy person you have to work a little harder at thinking optimistically. Also, this is important, but if you dont want to be shy then just DONT! I know it sounds crazy but its trueif you want people to think you are comfortable in social situations then you have to MAKE them feel that waythe vibe you give off in social situations is extremely influential..for example if youve ever gone to starbucks and walked up to the barista and just ordered your tall chai latte and wondered why they werent as sunny with you as they were with the previous customer, its probably because you werent being sunny with them! Crazy? No its not! Because 9 times out of 10 if you walk up to the counter with a smile on your face and make pleasantries with the person (Im excellent, how are you?) they will consequently be cheerier too. If you are beating yourself up because after simple interactions like that you feel like you are misliked or you messed up and then subsequently avoid future interactions as a result its probably because you went into it thinking you would fail. It all sounds so motivational speaker-y to say but I know all that from personal experienceand I have been on both sides of that example. Most importantly, like I said before, you must believe in yourself before people will believe in you!!! Its so important to know that!! Ok, getting off the soapbox now. Much loveb dan Jul 11 08, 7:00 am PDT 56 Really just a great article and comment section. I think that just knowing Im not the only shy person out there will help in social situations. Anxiety is my personal enemy, but with some of your tips, hopefully Ill be able to start wearing that label down. Thanks a lot =] Jo Jul 11 08, 7:02 pm PDT 57 Hello, I am new to your site and have to say how much I have enjoyed this srticle. I believe I landed here just at the right moment. I am 50+ and have always been what I thought was shy and hated going to social gatherings. Have only recently discovered I was suffering from low self esteem. Have been working on it and am really encouraged by the progress made. Thanks again. fiona Jul 12 08, 6:28 pm PDT 58 We become shy when we think inferior of others. Always remember that we are all equal, what makes other to stand out is they choose what they wanted to become:) Srinivas Rao Jul 16 08, 2:47 pm PDT 59

They made me do a psych profile at work and one of my strengths was woo and the very last line reads: In your world there are no strangers, only friends you havent met yetlots of them. So, I always keep that in mind. Personal Trainer Jul 18 08, 11:02 am PDT 60 This is a great list. Shyness can actually be a big problem. Being shy on the outside usually leads to internal dpression. alex Jul 19 08, 12:26 am PDT 61 wow.this article has just came at the right time for me, I thought I was just really different from everyone, but now I know that most of the people is shy at certain situations, for me the most uncomfortable situation is for example when I notice the other persons shyness while talking to him, and of course I get nervous too, I just dont know if I am causing him that shyness, and sometimes the goodbye part is even more uncomfortable, but I guess that after reading this Ill just say the hell with that. Another tip I would like to share is to be spontaneous because sometimes thinking to much about the things you want to say are just not said with same gesture and excitement , it would rather seem like if you were acting it. I can notice that for example when calling the girl I like , the conversation with her would be totally different if just grab the phone and call her, than thinking too much about calling her or not. Believe me its a good one. ********************* REPLY I too sometimes feel shy if talking to another person who is experiencing it. Similarly, if that person is very nervous or stressed, it can rub off on me too. I think on some level, we are all connected, and in these situations, it is not us who are shy or nervous or stressed. But rather, we are picking up on their experiences and feeling from their perspective. Tina Cocky and funny Jul 21 08, 5:10 am PDT 62 Hey, I think that putting yourself outside of your comfort zone is a great way to desensitize yourself and therefore be less shy. Talking to random strangers helps a lot as well the more practice you get, the easier it is. Ultimately, I think the socializing skill is just something you have to work at. Eleni Jul 23 08, 6:15 am PDT 63 Great article. Youre quite insightful. Susan Nickerson DC Jul 23 08, 9:13 am PDT 64

Great article personal power is very important to self esteem and overcoming shyness Christie Jul 23 08, 9:08 pm PDT 65 This is a great post. It always amazes me how different people are. One person could be totally outgoing while another is totally not comfortable in a social environment. I was once one of those shy kids. With practice, I was able to break my shell. Toastmasters helped also. Brooke Jul 24 08, 4:13 am PDT 66 Very good article. I am a shy person. Very quiet. Just a very hours ago I went in a classroom at College with a room full of strangers. I was a bit nervous at first but as soon as the class started chatting away, I just sat and listened, spoke sometimes. I actually had a red face thoughout the whole session, but I did not care, I just laughed it off when I came home. See the thing is, we are shy in some situations but the more we put ourselves in situtations and put ourselves out there, we can get more comfortable. I did not know anyone at college first off, but then someone started talking to me and we get along. The key is, to put yourself out there, go to social outings, join clubs. Whatever social outing interests you and just go for it. Be positive about life. Remember, mistakes are always made, but we learn from them. In fact, we actually make mistakes every now and then and we will never stop learning, as long as we are breathing. That is actually advice to myself. I got to find a job soon. And hopefully everyone can learn from my words too! Top Five Tips to overcoming shyness. 1) Love yourself for who you are I am Hearing Impaired and I am not shy about it, Today, I told the class that I was hearing impaired, I didnt care, neither did the class. Say to yourself, this is who I am, this is who I look like and I love myself for who I am. 2) Whatever your interested in, whether it would be a kind of sport etc. Get involved. The more you surround yourself with people, the more of a social being you will be. 3) Before you leave, talk to yourself and say, Hi how are you, I look good today, I feel good today, I am healthy, I am breathing and say I am going to conquer the world. I hope this help the people who are shy. God Bless! O. Foufoutos Jul 24 08, 2:09 pm PDT 67 Interesting article! Here are some tips Id like to share though: 1. Be spontaneous! Dont write down what youre going to say, go with the flow. When talking to someone you dont feel safe try to think he/she is your friend (even if its not true) 2. Job Interviews. Even if you have a good job, its good practice. 3. Exercise. Even 10 or 20 push-ups everyday is enough to grow your self esteem and muscles.

4. Chemistry. A lot of it has to do with chemistry. Try avoiding junk food, stop smoking, avoid drugs as much as you can. 5. Go to public toilets. If you are pee-shy you should do something about it. Start going to toilets, whether its at work or a restaurant, just go. If you do so and you cant actually go just flush the toilet, no big deal.. try next time. 6. Introduce yourself. When youre about to meet some person, dont let the others introduce you, do it yourself. 7. Supermarkets. Go there. Great place to ask a lot of meaningless questions. Be creative. 8. Shopping. Even if you dont want to buy any clothes, just try them. 9. Stop thinking your shyness is a condition. Start thinking it is just something temporary rather than permanent. Even if it was permanent, so what? Be happy about yourself. 10. Be honest with yourself and with others. Dont try to be someone. Show your style. I find people having an awkward style more interesting. 11. Talk to people that are more shy than you are. Talk about yourself (not too much) Ask questions that cannot have a yes or no as an answer. Avoid talking about the weather. 12. Dont try to be funny. Let the time and place be right for it. 13. Laugh! as hard as you can but let it come out naturally. Smile at people and show them you are positive. When makes a joke about you, laugh! and make another one about you! Dont be offended. Stay cool 14. Talk about your fears with your best buddies, its very important to let them know 15. Let your anger out. When someone is being rude, or gets to your nerves, just let them know. 16. Sleep. If you dont sleep enough you should. A good night sleep is essential. 17. Help people. Wherever and whenever you can, do so. 18. Simplify your thoughts. There is nothing complex when going to the local grocery store, or the bank, or when you use public transportation. Just do what you have to do without thinking too much about how to do it. Finally just dont follow any textbook. There is no standard way of overcoming your fears. Say something silly, be creative. Call your friends for no reason, just say hi. Go to the park, drive. Stop being a perfectionist, dont overstyle your hair. Talk with the taxi driver. Stop thinking too much, talk to people you know youll probably never going to meet again. Go to a cafe alone, order some coffee and read your newspaper. You can stand in the middle of anywhere for no reason at all and watch people passing by. You are strong and you know it, you can deal with any kind of situation. Even if you where alone in this world you would survive. You dont have to be alone though. Its a great thing others exist. Be simple. Brush your teeth every day and talk. ghalia Jul 28 08, 11:25 am PDT 68 Tina Your blog & tips is very useful I enjoy it too much

Thank u very and Tom Stine | Spiritual Life Coach Jul 30 08, 7:18 pm PDT 69 Excellent collaboration. I now know that Amanda has a blog, too! I will check it out. When I was younger, I was shy. Especially in any situation that I stood even the smallest chance of looking stupid. Especially around girls. :-) It was fear, nothing but fear. I was, paradoxically, an introverted extrovert. I could get crazy afraid, but still feel that I had to be in front of people. Being young is rough. I kind of lost most of this shyness in my 20s and 30s. Spiritual growth was the key. Vacation Rentals By Owner Jul 31 08, 2:36 pm PDT 70 Great post. I know I experience shyness at times in large groups. will at metavitaedotcom Aug 01 08, 10:37 pm PDT 71 Theres a lot to think of here. I have just a couple to add. 1) Check out, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, by Daniel Amen. -Some of the things that make people Shy can be Hereditary, ex: Hyperactive Basal Ganglia. 2) Never Internalize another persons frame. They Alone are responsible for their own mental health. You internalizing/personalizing any negative comments/energy is like blaming yourself for their car having a flat tire and a blown engine and volunteering to drive it instead of your own car thats in fine shape & you maintain. (that being said, at the opposite extreme: dont be a person who ignores all feedback and cant be talked to. -Yes, I know its a balancing act & you have to find your way) 3) Make Healthy Rules for yourself. Ex: if you find yourself being too negative or something, etc. -Make Rules for yourself going forward like, Until further notice, I am no longer allowed to criticize myself, in public or in private. Things that you know youre doing wrong and that should be acted against unilaterally. bryn Aug 02 08, 2:31 pm PDT 72 I commented before but I just wanted to add something else I have seen the tip try to pretened like the people you are talking to are your friends (even if theyre not) before and generally this is pretty good advice. Thinking this way has allowed me to open up a little, exchange pleasantries with total strangers, or just have a nice moment chatting with someone. The only problem is although YOU might be operating in the youre my friend mindset, they arent necessarily so when they say something offensive or that violates that idea your defenses are downplus for a shy person the flight response is more often evoked than the fight one so its more difficult to put someone in their place. I find that, anyways. For example, I went to the video store the other day and rented some movies and the lady goes oh really, this is what youre doing on your saturday night? Jeez. Get out of the house. I had been trying to be really nice but I was so shocked that I just had that flight response and I tried to brush it off. Then once I got in the car that

fight reaction kicked in and I wished I had put her in her place. I wish I had told that lady what a rude thing that was to say. I was really hurt by that statement. Derek Aug 05 08, 8:37 pm PDT 73 I have an acne issue that has made me introverted. Check out my website at to find out what I did to overcome! Kim Dye Aug 11 08, 4:40 pm PDT 74 I dont get the dianetics,org volcano graphic in the middle of the piece. It wasnt labeled as an advertisement. Is it an ad or is this site affiliated with Scientology? ************************** REPLY Those are from google ads. We dont have control over what gets shown as ads. Ive requested from google to not show ads from, but as youve seen, are still periodically appearing. This site is in no way affiliated with any religion organizations. Thanks for understanding Kim. sujeet Aug 12 08, 10:14 pm PDT 75 thanks amanda and tina for a great article J.D. Meier Aug 22 08, 6:10 pm PDT 76 I think you hit a key point its about where you put your focus. Rori Raye Sep 13 08, 11:01 am PDT 77 This is such a great article Tina, all your work is so clear, so step-by-step. My favorite on this list is #11, about tolerating your discomfort when you find yourself in situations that trigger your emotions. For me, and for my clients, I believe that triggering yourself on purpose by dating, going new places, taking up new hobbies, trying new ideas, imagining going as far out into success and happiness as you can imagine is the way to go. You can get to know yourself so much better, deeper and faster, learn where you can work through your fears lightening fast and where you need to take time. It gives you the opportunity to be brave and also very, very gentle with yourself. I so look forward to reading everything you write. Wakas Mir Oct 02 08, 6:18 am PDT 78 Aww very nicely put together Tina.. really makes a good article .. thx for sharing :) aaron Oct 31 08, 1:54 pm PDT

79 People really dont care about how you behave. So what if they think youre weird? Nothing wrong with being weird. Only wrong thing to do is saying things to purposely hurt others. Trust yourself and be comfortable and happy with who you are. Nicholas Powiull Nov 02 08, 6:13 am PDT 80 I uncovered a patterned secret in life, that causes life to set in motion a design (automatically through a series of events) for the conscious mind to pull itself out of the filters/comfort zones it has set in place (like shyness), but the process is v-e-r-y s-l-o-w. For example, it may take years or even decades, for a shy person to reach a series of experiences where she/he feels the desire (often due to the pressures of many experiences) to finally brake free of shyness. This desire that drives the person to reach such a point, is a desire of extreme dedication to achieving success beyond the limit. In other words, they are emotionally charged/lit to achieving the desire no matter what. It is always a build up of experiences that allows the person to hit a boiling point of moving past the limit that the conscious mind created. As if the boiling point caused them to bubble up past the container (limit) of the kettle and escape through the form known as steam (the freedom to choose a desire they thought limited them, as in this example the desire to overcome the limits of shyness). Here are a couple of detailed examples in how the process works using shyness as focalpoint: * The shy person feels the need to tell a girl/boy how they feel before they move away and miss a opportunity of a lifetime. Alternately, if they have not reached the boiling point yet, the shyness stopped them from having that opportunity and it haunts them until the life produces the next series of events unfolding something new. * The shy person has to be bold for a job interview to leave the control of their parents. On the other hand, perhaps the shyness got the best of them and they could not go through with the interview, now the parents control goes on more, etc If the shyness gets the best of them through each event/experience, life will always unfold a new event and hopefully that new event/experience will be the boiling point. If it is not, then the process continues. The details to the series of events do not matter (they are infinite), what does matter is noticing that a series of positive/negative (mostly from the perspective of negative) experiences unfolded, all in the name of breaking the conscious mind free of its limiting perspectives, expectations, and beliefs. Life is the Teacher of Passionate Desires What causes life to start producing these series of events? Life sets forth a series of events/experiences like this example of shyness, every-time you observe something and feel as if you have no control over it. Life does this automatically, so that you will realize that you have complete control (always did and always will), but you did not have the desire to control it. As a result, you are lead to experience many things that help you control (the uncontrollable)

through an emotional charged dedicated desire. No human being is ever truly limited. Life is the teacher of this concept. And it is people like you Tina, teaching concepts like these, that help people move out of their comfort zones more quickly with helpful conscious articles. Thank you :) Thao Ly Dec 11 08, 11:43 am PDT 81 Great Post. Hopefully this will help me overcome my shyness. Divain Dec 22 08, 10:51 am PDT 82 Hey, great article. it is really appreciated. i have been a shy person from childhood. presently, im 19 and i think this will harm my future. basically, i interact with people very well. meeting new people is not a problem to me. the problem i have is that of dancing. at home, i do dance, but in a social setting, i feel too shy and cant do it. this is where i really need help. can i be able to overcome this shyness? Helpppp. Social Masters Dec 23 08, 8:14 am PDT 83 Excellent tips here. Shyness is a horrible thing to experience. I used to be very shy when i was younger but used techniques similar to the ones you have mentioned here to overcome it. Now i feel much better in myself. Its good to see people trying to help others. kare anderson Dec 26 08, 11:35 am PDT 84 More tips from this one phobically-shy stutterer turned journalist and public speaker (and, of course, fan of think simple now!!) AJ Kumar Jan 19 09, 12:48 am PDT 85 Yea, I was shy before,but ended up making that change and now I just dont shut up ;) I just motivated myself by realizing in order for me to make it big time and successful, I will need to go away from being shy and be super outgoing. which is what I did. It took time, but it was worth it! AMEER SHAH Jan 20 09, 6:40 am PDT 86 salam, its a great artical realy. i got mch much informaton from this, i m very thankful to its writer,thanks AMEER SHAH Jan 20 09, 6:43 am PDT 87

i was in search of this kind of article because i have also the problem of shyness, i will try my best to use the tips given here to overcome my problem,thanks Ryder Jan 31 09, 10:36 pm PDT 88 Im a shy person but what helps me alot is just sayin F*** it! Who are all these people that I have to be afraid of thinking that they have some kind of pressure on me. I say just get angry at your self for thinking you are not what you should be. Get a sudden motivation. Throw all the pressure behind your head and open the door to your new life and get goin. Try new things. And the more you know, the more you have to say. Stay true to you who you are and never forget. Keep your feet on solid ground and dont let it go to your head boy! MIke Feb 08 09, 9:00 pm PDT 89 Its funny that in my old job as a sales clerk, if I felt that I could actually help someone, I had no problem going up to them. In fact, I became such a keen observer that I could read their body language when they needed help. In my personal life, its completely different. If someone approaches me, I can be very friendly, but I just cant seem to be the one to start a conversation. The inner conversation of who am I to just start a conversation with a stranger? is always there. I ll read the article again and see if I can get some use out of it. Mike Strauss Mar 14 09, 9:39 pm PDT 90 I bought a great guide yesterday, it is called The Friendship Blueprint, and it helped me a lot in the process of making friends and becoming more popular. I really enjoyed the reading too. pink sugar Apr 05 09, 1:55 am PDT 91 i have used this !!! it hasd helped a lot..Ive actually become less shy ..:) and now i wonder why i was shy at all here really is nothing to be afraid ofand the way Ive acted all these years..i think were just stupid..hiding from people and things btu to me nothing is wrong with being shy unless its like social anxiety shy , which i had then its time for a change but this was great and helpful pink sugar Apr 05 09, 1:57 am PDT 92 i remeber i was so shy itd be hard for me to even turn my body and my haed it was that bad..but Ive changed alot and i guess that comes with maturity too..but now i smile hold on conversations..and i finally feel normal and like IM in control of my life not my shyness Faith Apr 28 09, 5:53 pm PDT 93

I am very shy! How can I not be? jason May 19 09, 10:27 pm PDT 94 ok im 18 and shy at school i hardly talk but at home i talk a fair bit and im not sure why maybe its because of something that happened in my childhood i still do not know how to overcome this. maybe my shyness will leave me when i complete year 12 but i hope its soon because i know there is no reason to be shy i am not afraid of what others think of me but i just dont talk enough thiru Jun 03 09, 4:11 am PDT 95 Good :) Melvin Jun 09 09, 9:43 pm PDT 96 From a previous comment; love it! and that there are things I have in my mind that others would benefit lots from and vice versa aimeee _ (F) Jun 13 09, 12:17 pm PDT 97 Thanks this is so useful as Im very shy and its a huuggee problem =] aimeee _ (F) Jun 13 09, 12:19 pm PDT 98 Ryder awesome aimeee _ (F) Jun 13 09, 12:20 pm PDT 99 Divain dance like no1 is watching ! Denise Jul 07 09, 7:24 pm PDT 100 Im 21 years old and I have been shy since I can remember. At work I dont talk to anyone. I just get nervous and my mind goes blank when someone tries to have a conversation with me and if I do speak after that I regret it or I tell myself I cant believe I just say that I think is social phobia. I feel like anything they tell me negative about me I get really sensitive and I just want to start crying or runaway from the situation. Im going to try this techniques and hopefully they work. I sick of people tell me you dont talk say something. Conrad Dixon Jul 12 09, 5:58 pm PDT 101 Ive been shy throughout practically my whole life until several years ago when I started approaching women in order to start conversations and obtain a girlfriend.

You could say I jolted myself out of my shyness and Id recommend it to anyone. Peace, Conrad taty Aug 02 09, 9:44 am PDT 102 Hi, I have come over this article exactly when I needed it. My experience in the office where we have daily VC meetings is still a burden to me as I am a shy communicator. I always think about how would a certain statement would make me look in front of people or if I might say a stupid thing. This basically comes from low self esteem and lack of trust in what I do and my abilities, and also in comparison with others. My main thought right now is that facing a problem is the best way to do it, as leaving it there it will only be a heavy weight onward. Getting a better grasp of what I like to do and also building myself continously is always a tough process. The way we understand the world and ourselves can make a difference. I write this like a confession. zara Aug 08 09, 12:58 am PDT 103 thanks for suggestions but now tell how to be ready withed and how to tell others what i feel gratfully Michelle Aug 21 09, 8:37 am PDT 104 I know its hard to come out. Maybe if its almost impossible for me,ill try to do little steps at a time. Realize that when youre alone, you are together with others like you. I think shy people like us are the strongest of all people. If they laugh, laugh with them and smile. If they hurt you, there just insecure about themselves. Everyone has fear and insecurity and it makes me feel better to know that. Sammi Aug 29 09, 5:40 pm PDT 105 I work in a really high powered job for my age I work as a waitress in silver service restaurant. Im 17 years old and still attend school, I am currently sitting three highers, I am constantly studying so I can get three As. I I train for Athletics almost everyday. I have been told to leave home on several occasions, so basically by the time I am 18 I will definatley need somewhere to live. All these factors in my life lead me down a path that leads nowhere and I am digging myself a bigger whole I cannot climb up. I cry at work, with the stress, my boss is so critical of everything that I do. I am at breaking point, no one seems to realate to what Im going through at my age, I hope I can put into practice some of the things from the artical and hopefully things will get better .. Cullen Carry Sep 01 09, 8:50 pm PDT 106

Thank You. I have just entered grade 10, and I know only a few people, who arent giving me the time of day. I realize I may need to let myself out of my shell, meet someone who I get along with, and build up my own self confidence. I have a bad case of the shy guy syndrome and really have a hard time putting myself out there. I will make my best effort to become more confident, and thank you again for the article. Jasmine Sep 02 09, 6:09 pm PDT 107 Tina, Thanks for writting this.. i always thought i was the only one that felt this way with strangers. Guess not :)? Youve helped me a lot, so thank you. twimc Sep 02 09, 10:27 pm PDT 108 Just more of the same old psychologist mumbo jumbo. No practical suggestions. Try walking, alone, into a big fundraiser of any kindcharity, political, whatever. You know no one. Everyone is chatting in little cliques. No one is standing alone whom you might approach. One embarrassing turn of the room, and Im out of there. Does anyone ever really get field experience in this department? Tom Sep 03 09, 7:50 am PDT 109 Very good tips, but still for a shy person difficult to apply them. Meghashyam Chirravoori Sep 05 09, 2:00 am PDT 110 I really, really connected with the line : Practice Being in Uncomfortable Situations If one says I want to be ripped apart. I want to make a fool of myself. I want to be called a moron! Lets see what happens and faces as many social situations as possible with overwhelming force say 10 a week, making a special effort to get oneself involved in the situations one fears, great things can happen. Thank you, Tina. Diggy - Sep 08 09, 1:06 am PDT 111 Wow, Totally awesome post, absolutely my style:) A big two thumbs up from me!! Cheers Diggy! Jake Sep 27 09, 6:35 pm PDT 112 Great Article Thanks. Albert

Sep 28 09, 1:48 am PDT 113 Im a very quiet person since a very young age, now im 33yrs and still very quiet. In preschool the one teacher told my mom that i will always have one friend and be on my own, this i only found out recently when asking my mom question so that i could find out more about my past so that i could pin point why im so quiet and shy. When people ask me to say something I dont know what to say or ask, even at this age that im now. Around my friends i dont talk much as well, when people ask them why im so quiet they answer and say thats the way he is. What to do? shaimaa Sep 29 09, 6:10 am PDT 114 i like the topic too much am too shy or as u said i wont say it :),,when i ask any one about that he says just be confident..i tried to control my fear and my thinking about my shyness and my words when i talk to anyone but i cant..when i read the article noww i feel so happy and think to accomplish it..and now i comment to say thanks and really i wish to face that coz it seems to me as a wall besides dealing with people. thanks Bob Oct 01 09, 4:08 am PDT 115 Im 55 and shyness is still a struggle. It is comforting to know that others suffer with it too. I do agree with the boiling point analogy used be Nicholas Powiull, when the cost of being shy is so great you will reach that boiling point. Lets not give up the fight to overcome our shyness, the cost is too great and every day is a new day to try again and face our fears. But even writing this I think christ, Ive been struggling with this for 50 years, so what, if it takes another 50 or 500 or 5000 or never, I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP! Michael Oct 07 09, 7:57 am PDT 116 I am 38 and I am still shy. Its funny, I can get up and give a song on the Karaoke after a couple of pints, but when it comes to communicating in groups, I might as well go home because my mind goes blank and there is nothing to say. This in turn brings back all my insecurities, whick makes me feel more useless and shy. Anyway, I am married with 2 kids and although i would not class myself as extremely shy, there is a problem when meeting new people and to be honest, i dont think it will ever go, but i do get around it and so will you. best of luck Eliza Oct 13 09, 6:46 pm PDT 117 I have struggled with shyness all my life, however, recently I realized that I have been saying no to new experiences because I am afraid of change and the unknown. Lately I have been trying to be like Jim Carey in the movie Yes Man and saying yes to opportunities to try new things. I have to say it has worked very well so far and that I

have been talking to more people and living a fuller life. I decided that at least once a week I need to go and do something new. Jess Oct 19 09, 1:14 am PDT 118 Im really really shy that sometimes i want to cry. I avoid situations that include acting. The worst thing is that i have drama!! im new at a school and im just a kid. I dont know how to overcome this fear of being rejected. i see other shy people and they just stand out because theyre shy when theyre trying to hide. Their body language says it all. I really would like some more help on this. This article is very good but not really helps. I would liek something that includes how to practice not being shy Cheers Jess :) Jess Oct 19 09, 1:19 am PDT 119 Also, my class is very judgemental. I am super funny and i consider myself pretty popular in the other class. With my current class i just hate everyone and i tend to stay away because sometimes i feel like punching them in the face. I just get so ANGRY! They all love drama and theyre all girly girls. They talk about fashion and stuff. Theres also a smart girl in my class. She thinks shes so smart and i really want to talk to her because i want to see if i can make friends with her and if i have the wrong oppinion about her but im TOO SHY! Oleg Mokhov Oct 19 09, 12:44 pm PDT 120 Hey Tina and Amanda, The ultimate way to destroy shyness is to see others not as strangers, but as friends you havent yet talked to. Not trying to sound too hippie here, but if you see all beings on this planet as one object, rather than a bunch of separate ones, everyone stops being so distant. Were all similar: same appearance, same problems, same desires. Were all brothers and sisters. How would you talk to a friend? With a smile and genuine conversation, right? Just do the same with someone you havent talked to yet. Nothing complicated, just a simple Hiya! How are you? Remember: they have no reason at all to dislike you. Theyre just like you, a human being who seeks happiness in life. How would you like people to talk to you? Just do the same to others you havent met yet. Great exploration of why we are shy, why its unnecessary, and how to attack it, Oleg David Oct 21 09, 9:56 pm PDT 121 hey you guys,

thanks for the great advice, i have always been shy and critical of my self, but i realized one day (following your advice) that people really didnt care about your mistakes or shortcomings, what they really are primarily concerned with is their mistakes, and what YOU think about THEM! i then realized if i took the time and effort that it took to be concerned with my faults and self-conscious, and placed that into constructive and progressive energy i could accomplish much more, thus feeling better about myself. i guess what i am really trying to say is, i noticed one thing and everything else just clicked into place, and i owe my epiphany to your advice and guidelines, so again Thanks so VERY VERY much shaimaa Oct 22 09, 1:20 am PDT 122 i commented before just to tell you thanks alot and really i like your article too much..i started the last days to evaluate everything,but i cant..i cried alot think that i wont be a one who can be with people normally..i hate to be alone, i feel i have to be like that to avoid being with people ending with sadness that i cant even make eye contact . no one know me as really who iam.they began to think who she is?, they all see she is calm ,dont like to speak and she prefers to be alone. i feel sometimes that when am so happy i can speak to every one i dont know how..but for sorry i spend alot of time sad. i have to do soon a presentation but all i think how can i escape although ill lose alot of grades .. really i cant stand any more. David Oct 26 09, 2:16 am PDT 123 Totally awesome post, absolutely right :) Rachel Nov 07 09, 10:45 pm PDT 124 This article is the story of my life. I am the poster child for shyness. Thank you for making this. Hopefully, maybe someday, I can overcome my shyness. Bade liberty Dec 01 09, 1:38 pm PDT 125 I just blew away a great opportunity, based on the fact that i was so shy. With my bright business idea i missed the chance of being financed just because i was unable to express myself before a panel. I need help please, i dont wont to remain this way. Jacob Mello Jan 15 10, 12:49 am PDT 126 This has been very enlightening.I can really relate to #13,Tired of always trying to be perfect in every situation,it doesnt work.Going to try to relax and be myself.Been wanting to talk to someone and maybe go out with them but have been more afraid of myself thinking Im not good enough but I realize that is not up to me to decide.All I can do is be me.This always seemed crazy in my mind but i guess Ive been bluffing myself all along gonna go for it and if nothing happens Im ok with that.At least I know I

tried.Cant sit around and do nothing any more.Thanks for your positive input,I feel better already. jagadish Jan 15 10, 7:06 am PDT 127 Very interesting ! Useful ! Thank you Sir. why some perspire and tremble ? why such panic ? D.K. Jan 24 10, 9:50 pm PDT 128 Wow, this is a really interesting article. Reading it, I see many qualities I already have as well as some new things that can really help me. I would consider myself to be an extravert because I have always loved meeting new people and being adventurous. I would say that my life is far from boring. However I am and have been very shy for as long as I can remember. Im kind of quiet guy, but I say whats on my mind. I tend to keep to myself, so a lot of my associates(aquaintances that dont really know me personally) seem to think I am introverted. However anyone who knows me on a personal level would say that I am the complete opposite. Im an only child, so I spent a lot of time alone growing up in a single parent household. I think that many of my peers who grew up with siblings may not feel as comfortable being alone as I have learned to be. A lot of people feel as though they must fit in with a particular group, I can exude confidence no matter whether Im with a group or standing alone. Thats one of my greatest stregnths. I can honestly say though that I know what its like to feel as though I am on spotlight at all times, and like I must try to be this perfect person. I used to feel so uncomfortable during my first two years of high school that I would sweat excessively under my arms. I used to wear jackets all the time to try and hide it. This really didnt help with my popularity, because I tended to be even more introverted and didnt feel comfortable without my closest friends around. I even used to have a hard time talking to women. It was like the prettier she was, the more uncomfortable I became. I even used to get embarrased when a pretty girl noticed me checkin her out, and Id try to hurry up and look the other way. Most of the girls I kicked it wit during those years usually had to make the first move on me cause I was too scared to ask them out! How funny is that? Now Ive learned how to imagine myself in situations where people see the best in me, which has helped me to gain tons of confidence. Ive learned to face my fears so Im no longer afraid of rejection. Im not perfect so sometimes I get nervous and have to try harder to focus on those things that make me feel confident, but I walk and talk in such a confident way that it would be really hard to tell that I am shy at first glance! I know my comments kinda long, but hopefully it can help somebody! Love and Peace! jay Jan 26 10, 11:51 pm PDT 129 wow thanks for writing this. i am 18 and im very shy and i dont know what made me be this way but i havent dated much because of my shyness and the last few girls i went out with didnt like me cause i m to shy and they cant wait till i become comfortable around them.

Dmitry Jan 29 10, 8:31 am PDT 130 Hi from Russia! Great article. Better than everything I have read on this problem. Wish to express my situation. I live in Moscow, and most of the people here are extremely tense. Almost nobody speaks with anybody except cases when both persons are friends, relatives, student-tutor, etc. Unfortunately, I did not pay any attitude to this, so some months ago I discovered that I got into the same situation. I am not more shy than other Russians. But, anyway, I do not want to be so calm any more. Last summer I visited Australia, and it was just a shock for me when I discovered how friendly Australians are to each other. In that moment I understood that shyness must be exiled forever. For a few months I could not get myself just out of home and begin to speak with people around. But it will continue no longer. I think that point 16 in your article, Tina, is the most significant one. In my situation, I already have got full understanding that I am not better or worse than others, that nobody looks at my so deep as I do at myself, that talking to people is very interesting and there is nothing to be afraid of. But It cannot work without practice. And the harder the practice, the sooner results will approach. Many people here who have fought shyness made it in extreme way. For example, one man who was so shy that even could not ask anybody what time is it. He came to the center of the city and became ask every people: Where can I buy small green crocodiles?. After two or three weeks of such an experience he overcame shyness and became almost so sociable and relaxed as experienced actors. Of course, before that experience he attended all needed psychological changes in his mind. Yesterday I was walking. I tried to ask somebody unusual question about crocodiles. I came to a man, made a smile and something stopped me. I just could not open my mouth to say the words! What was it? I understood that there would be nothing terrible if I ask the question. I understood that I have right for that. I understood that, perhaps, this question can even help a man to have some fun. So what is the problem? Why cannot I do that? The answer is only that unconsciously I did not forget my fears despite for a few months I avoided them consciously. So, I think, the only difficulty I have to pass through is the first step. I need only once to ask an crazy question. The second step will be much, much easier because I will remember latest good experience. And then, after a few weeks, I will be absolutely, absolutely free! Because I have this problem, I respect very, very much everybody who overcame shyness, and respect twice the ones who write articles and help other people to fight this enemy! Thank you so much! People like you always inspired me, and it is very sad that I cannot talk to you in touch and have to write here Sorry for mistakes of my English. naheem dhalla Feb 03 10, 8:01 am PDT 131

im really really really shy, i cnt even talk to girls in my class. HELLLLLLLP!!! and there is this girl whom i like and wanna sit with her but cnt bcus of my shyness and i cnt even ask her can i sit with you plzzzzz HELLLLLLLLLP Anonymous Feb 07 10, 8:13 pm PDT 132 IDK what to do I really like this guy and he is a huge flirt. and he walked up to me really close and just stared at me literally we were a foot away and he looked at me for about a full minute and all I said was can i help you? and Yes. and he smiled at me. I froze up and was wobbly. I feel floaty and dazed when im not with him. What do i do the next time he talks to me? Mikaele Baker Feb 14 10, 12:50 am PDT 133 I like being shy, it means Im not arrogant, theres no problem being shy, its a normal thing, if youre shy, you dont have to push yourself into a situation you dont want to be in, its perfectly normal to be a shy person, its not a problem at all, in fact, Id rather be shy. And yes, Im a very shy person, you know how difficult it was to press Speak? and if you met me in person I am usually the last to speak up. Mikaele Baker Feb 14 10, 1:00 am PDT 134 Okay, there is one problem, there was this girl, shes kind ofshy herself, but she was such a nice person, and so smart. Sos also really pretty, not many people noticed though. I really liked her and I still do, but when she moved, hardly anyone noticed that she left. Now weve written each other on the internet and become pretty good friends, but I dont think she feels the same way about me, and even if she did, its too late, maybe if id have talked to her in person, when she was still here, it would have turned out differently, but I guess Ill never really know, will I? Mikaele Baker Feb 14 10, 1:01 am PDT 135 Its one in the morning and Im telling strangers about my problems, how pathetic Ups and Downs Mar 10 10, 1:37 pm PDT 136 What I dont get about shyness is that somedays Im free and can talk with everybody :) and somedays Im totally out of context :/. I think my social skills are fine, its just the nervous feeling of not knowing what to say, that makes me out of context. I by the way think a lot. shannon Apr 08 10, 12:44 pm PDT 137 This has kind of helped. But I dont feel it will help me completley. Im 15, and Ive got a close group of friends who Im not really shy around atall, but, theyre all girls, and I go to an all girls school. So, when Im out with them at the weekends, say town or the park

or something, and were with loads of other people who Im not usually with, especially the boys, I just sort of sit back and dont really have any conversations with anyone :/ I hate it because I really want to be friends with these people, because theyre all so nice, and all my close friends seem fine with it, and have boyfriends etc. but I just cant even bring myself to just talk to a boy. Like, if Im in a circle of people all talking, everyone just joins in with the conversation and I just stand there smiling. Why am I so scared literally just to talk? I just want to get some more mates and feel more comfortable so I can have a good time !! fml Apr 08 10, 12:55 pm PDT 138 Ok I have a massssive problem. Ever since I met this boy in the summer (Tom) ! Yes for god sake, the SUMMER!! how long ago was that?! Well yeah bassically, Ive liked him. I saw him quite a bit in the summer, because we was often at the park and that. But I was alwaaaaaays in a BIG group of friends, so I never really had the chance with just him. Like, Obviously I talked to him, just never really alone, but, i knew I liked him. Because I talked to him on msn a LOT aswell, which was really nice, because behind a screen im not shy atallll!! but after talking lots online, i went to meet up with him once, but it was SO awkward, because hed be talking to be, and i just like smile at what he says, or just say like yeeah something stupid like i couldnt keep a conversation going! ive not seen him sinse. But i still talk to him online quite a bit, and i still like him. But, i know he wont like me because im just an idiot, i messed it all up! so i try to move on, theres this other guy ive met at a party, at the party we was all great talking talking kissing kissing etc. but, i was absolutley wasted. but i got his number so we still texxt and that, but like he wants me to meet up with him. I want to meet up with him! But I am literallly to scared! Sinse the whole palava with Tom, I dont know if I can ever face to be alone with a boy again! MY LIFE IS SO MESSED UP. dahm, i wish i had more confidence. Lacey Apr 15 10, 7:02 pm PDT 139 Dear Tina and Amanda, I have a hard time being social with my friends and peers around me because Ive always been very shy and reading this helps me know and believe that I can step outside of my comfort zone and be myself. I hope I can achieve this through all of your information you shared because I really want to become more social and active, without always putting myself down and regreting everything I do. Thanks! *Lacey* Daphney Apr 17 10, 1:14 pm PDT 140 Well after i saw every ones comments and how some over comed there shyness i feel better knowing i wasnt the only one it really made me realize nobodys perfect so thanx every one . . .i feel much better lol jml Apr 19 10, 4:41 am PDT 141

hi, read your article was nice .. i will try it and see if it works.. i am too shy and the reasons are the same as mentioned here. ill try it and hope it works someone Jun 14 10, 2:38 pm PDT 142 WOW great advise and wow this is soo me thanks soo much i never new i was shy because i wasnt happy with who i am. But over the summer i will work on all these things thank you oo much!! Navas Habantem Jul 01 10, 7:22 pm PDT 143 Whenever i go into a party or somewhere where there are alot of people i stopped thinkin about what they think of me cause people are all thinking about themselves :) Jennifer Jul 15 10, 8:46 am PDT 144 great article! much needed. it seems the older I get the more introverted Ive become and Ive decided that its time to change that. Karla Jul 20 10, 12:25 am PDT 145 I really enjoyed this article. Ive been dealing with shyness since I can remember and it has not been easy dealing with it. I use to work at a school and since Im bilingual I sometimes had to translate for parents. Well since I was so afraid of talking in public. I would usually call in late for work or call in sick. I felt like a failure. If this was something the other staff was able to do. Why wasnt I able to comply. Im really determined to follow the advice and finally be able to overcome my shyness. Thank you Tina. Clara Jul 23 10, 6:27 am PDT 146 Thanks for this article! I love the information you provided here. I am a shy sort, but, have been doing better since writing for others and connecting online-havent graduated to the seminar stage, but, theres always hope . Thanks, Clara Me Aug 14 10, 1:56 pm PDT 147 This is a wonderful article! Thank you. :D One thing I do, as Im a teenager, and it helps a lot is to say, Whats up? or Hows it going? when you want to talk to a stranger similar in age. You dont have to know a single thing about this person to start a conversation with them, and you appear very relaxed. :) Amy Aug 27 10, 10:05 am PDT 148

Thank you so much for making this article !!! I am an extremely shy person, and i find it hard to make new friends. But i think that this is going to help me overcome my fear. Once again.. thanks. oluwaseye Aug 29 10, 3:26 pm PDT 149 I could not speak or even chat wif a girl i like but now i can even do more..Thanks a lot. Syull Aug 29 10, 9:27 pm PDT 150 I used to be extremely shy, you see other people around you acting in different ways and you wonder how can they express themselves like that? why cant i?.you can. I started by acting like those other people for a few days and i was able to build their confidence into my own personality. youre just as good as these people who show their true colour so dont be afraid to be yourself Tim at ShyFAQ Oct 07 10, 8:18 am PDT 151 Very good and thorough post! I think one part of overcoming shyness that wasnt really covered much though is gaining the skill to become a better conversationalist. With shyness, it isnt simply being nervous around people. Trouble coming up with things to talk about is one key reason shy folks are nervous around other people. It isnt enough just to be a good listener. Fortunately there are techniques that you can improve your ability to make conversation. One way is to keep abreast of current events. It also helps to think up topics of conversation before entering the social situation, such as a party. Shoo Oct 19 10, 12:22 pm PDT 152 Thanks for the tips! I am trying to be more outgoing and I think its getting a bit better Cookie Oct 22 10, 5:33 pm PDT 153 very nice article :) im still struggling with shyness but im working on it even tho its only been about 3 days. I still dont know what to talk about with other people and they always have to ask me questions.. sometimes there are so many awkward silences, that the person just leaves to go talk to someone else can u help me with that? Gordon Oct 30 10, 6:20 pm PDT 154 I just wanted to add that some of the steps mirror something I learned in the military about dealing with fear or stress. Step 1 Goal Setting (knowing what you want to do) Step 2 Visualization ( seeing yourself doing it)

Step 3 Self Talk ( telling yourself you can do it) Step 4 Arousal Control/Breathing ( calmly breathing in and out/ meditation) Gordon Oct 30 10, 6:22 pm PDT 155 Cookie sometimes its not always you, maybe the person your with doesnt interest you or is doing a lousy job making conversation. I have the same problem, and I kinda try to realize that its hard for everyone to reach out not just me. JT Nov 06 10, 9:56 am PDT 156 If youre shy, you will NOT get girls. REPEAT- If you are shy, you will NOT get girls. Despite whatever television shows and movies youve seen, the shy protagonist doesnt miraculously get the babe in real life. This is a bullshit fantasy and accepting that one daythat one motherfucking day youll get the girl of your dreams, despite living a mediocre life is a lie. Look, I believed the television shows and movies too. Additionally, I also read the dating advice columns in Maxim, Mens Health, Esquire etc about how to get girls- thinking that being shy was fine, just as long as I was being myself and being confident; then shed have like me, right? Oh yea, I also memorized the most clever pickup lines thinking that would help too. Thing is, NONE of these resources addressed how to exactly be myself and be confident, or what it even meant, or how it actually worked. And somehow, at the age of 24 I was still a virgin, and still never kissed a girl. Sure, I couldve continued to believe everything was alright. Perhaps I couldve gotten lucky, landed on a DTF drunk fattie, got laid once or twice a year, if ever. If this sounds acceptable to you, then please go to the upper right hand corner of this screen and click X. This article is not for you. The truthBeing shy is unattractive. The next paragraph reveals how and what I did to remedy my shyness: Transforming from a loveshy loser to a man that confidently approaches the women hes attracted to 10 Tips to Overcome Shyness & Become Attractive around Women Do NOT give a damn what anyone thinks about youWhen you give a damn, youre reacting to others, seeking approval. You teeter on eggshells, feeling uncomfortable, intimidated, insecure and confused about what to say/do. Be your own person, live your own life. Do what you want, and others do what they can about it. As an exercise, chant this yourself right now- I do NOT give a damnwhat anyone thinks about me. Do this as much as youd like, til you feel a physiological sensation and your voice sparkles a 100% belief that you honestly do not give a damn what ANYONE thinks about you You do not need anyone else to make you feel good about yourselfIf youre looking for someone elses validation (especially a girls)- youre being a bitch. And you will never be attractive; no girl will ever have sex with a guy she feels sorry for.

As a man, acknowledge that there is nothing someone can give you that you cant get for yourself. You, and ONLY You, can control how you feel about yourselfBe cognizant how you FEEL in relation to the world around you, not self-conscious. Dont take yourself or the world too seriously; find humor in everyday life, draw inspiration, cultivate a love for being. Check out Eckhart Tolles The Power of Now for an understanding of ego and the role it plays in constructing the beliefs about ourselves in relation to the world. Give yourself permission to be the man you want to becomeList the traits of the ideal man. Understand those traits and shift your behavior towards becoming THAT person. The blueprint is now there to follow. Think to yourself: How would my ideal self react to a situation? Give yourself permission to be THAT person! Youre either confident or youre a bitchYou cannot be almost confident or 99% confident. Confidence, as I understand it, is purely the absence of fear. Nothing is holding you back; no mental obstacles between you and what you want. Notice how a five year old can be just as confident as a CEO; just because they dont have a care in the world and no mental obstacle holding them back. Stop masturbatingCheck out my earlier post on understanding how masturbation destroys a force that is insanely attractive to women. Talk LOUDERVisualize yourself as a fucking boom-box exploding the awesomeness. Speak LOUDER by pushing the air from your stomach outwards, not the air from your throat. Remember too, everything you say is important; it is important because its coming from you. Be the MusicSad people listen to sad music. Have you ever heard a rap song where the rapper felt bad about himself? NO. In rap music, to illustrate an example, the MCs are having a fun time just being themselves, being the party, and living the life they want to live. Besides being awesome, rap music reinforces the mindsets of men that do not give a fuck what others think and arent shy to express themselves. Now, check out R. Kellys song, Ima Flirt to dial and inspire the pimp inside you Join ToastmastersI cannot vouch enough how helpful this was for my own development. By joining Toastmasters, you are forced to speak to a public audience and you will receive honest, encouraging feedback towards sounding/appearing more confident. Take actionJoin a GYM, develop good posture; the mind will follow the body. Get involved. Be proactive. Be a man and take charge. WHAT DO YOU WANT? The richer your life is, the better you should feel about yourself. You + Taking Action= your best self. Additional tip to remember, Girls love sexThis is not an instant tip. To realize this as the TRUTH, you must go out and approach women. Thats it. Referencing and internalizing the ten tips above will allow you to feature your most attractive and confident self when you do approach women. For a

woman, a highly confident man (regardless of looks, money, status) is the equivalent of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model for men. Simply, Confidence=Attractive rahijvmunder Nov 09 10, 6:01 am PDT 157 and what about online dating? I tried as a joke, 2 years ago (because of my shyness, though) but now I think its a great opportunity to overcome it. currently, Im using a gps app on my android, flirtmaps, really funny and easy to use! any other here?? lumusty Nov 19 10, 6:14 am PDT 158 Nice day relations came to my house ,iam calm that time my mother said she is shy type she will not talk with others iam hot at that time. when i thought about it ,i realised iam feeling uncomfortable when iam moving in group and from this artical i learnt how to overcome this . Manu Nov 27 10, 9:51 am PDT 159 Hi, Its an interesting article that taught me a lot. I will try to learn what all tricks been discussed over here. Thanks for this valuable article. Richard Dec 05 10, 1:42 am PDT 160 Sorry, but this page of info. has not fixed my problem that I admit to having. So far Ive already done most all of those things and none of them work. I even tried to selfconfidence and all that but it still doesnt work. I think my first crush was in 6th grade with this girl named Kristin where she asked me if I liked her and I said no when I really did. blew my chance forever. still regret that. well good luck finding me a cure. Purple40 Dec 09 10, 2:44 am PDT 161 I loved the how to deal with difficult people and the article on Self-Esteem. I can relate to all of it. Especially when ive been hurt by another person and what my response has been and the outcome. Wow!! I have truly some ME work to do. On my self-esteem and to learn how deal with the mean\difficult people in a better way. Dec 12 10, 1:45 pm PDT 162 Great simple exercises that will simply affect your life in a positive holistic way. In my opinion, should be practiced not just by people who are feeling shyness. Jennifer Daniel Dec 12 10, 6:36 pm PDT

163 J.T I am socially awkward around people I dont know, and my self concious is very high. Mainly around girls though. J.T, thank you for writing that article, I am only in middle school, but I am going to try to follow it. Dere Dec 24 10, 1:27 am PDT 164 Thanks Tina, So kind of you to post this invaluable tip. I am sure i am going to try it for result. Isnt shame to see people live a mediocre life when we actually live once in this world? yeah, that is why we should overcome this disease and start living life to its fullest. God bless you Rick Dec 26 10, 4:35 am PDT 165 Great article! I wish I wouldve discovered it years ago. I overcame shyness on my own, but it took me years and years of trial and error and observing other people to arrive at basically same conclusions and to eventually fight off my demons. This article pretty much sums it all up and gives it to a reader on a silver platter. If you find courage to apply these principles and stick to them youre guaranteed to succeed! I would definatelly recommend this work to other people. Shy or not. karan Jan 05 11, 5:15 pm PDT 166 nice article!!!, it really helped me out to overcome my shyness. Now I have understood that believing in you is all you want and forget about what other will think of you, do what you want. Eitan Jan 07 11, 6:07 am PDT 167 Hey guys, I can really relate to Amanda. But my problem is not with all people. It is with girls in general. I am in high school, and I am one of the most popular boys, and the girls like me. But even with the girls that I absolutley know like me, and every one knows that they like me, I still cant talk to them. I just cant. When I try to speak, no words come out, and when they do, they are so quiet that you can barely hear it. Can you help me?? Thank you so much! Andy Jan 07 11, 9:52 pm PDT 168 Thank you very much! very nice article, it really sure help me overcome my shyness, no matter what other thinks. thx abigail kyei Jan 09 11, 5:45 pm PDT 169

in my alll my walks of life i have always tryed not to be shybut i cant and the shyness happens when in front of people, it makes me swet in front of people, shake when talking to them and feel wierd inside me. can yll please help me overcome it, or give me a solution. lewis Jan 22 11, 10:35 am PDT 170 Im really attractive but Im also incredibly socially awkward. Many guys that approach me, soon get turned off by my sheer stupidity. I make a fool of myself in almost every social situation and dont know how to make my brain keep up with decently intelligent conversation. I have very little interests to talk about (only so much can be said about being outdoorsy) bottom line is Im just a really slow thinker LMNOP Feb 18 11, 8:46 pm PDT 171 Ya know, this is actually really going to help me. I recently started looking at self-esteem type things after discover stumbleupon. Most people are probably here because of it. Also, I received a few comments from people I know and trust. My Uncle said I look like a lumber jack. This, to some may be offensive, but as a midwesterner, and knowing that he was a farmer, I understood what he was saying. He was saying I look like I could fuck someone up. My Aunt (this was on the same visit) said to my mom, she wouldnt tell me, that I look really buff. We are not blood related, we are related through adoption, and when you get compliments from older people it is extremely beneficial. Be sure to give compliments to everyone, but especially look at some of the younger, maybe less confident people. They could use the esteem boost probably. Especially pre-teens through teenage years. P.S. Ive been getting buffer because Ive finally committed myself to lifting weights 3-4 times a week and other forms of exercise 2-3 times a week. I also joined a club sport at my college. It does wonders for meeting people and your health! LMNOP Feb 18 11, 8:49 pm PDT 172 I still cope with others situations, but with the things Ive learned in the last 6 months about myself are actually helping me. Ive wasted so much time and I can now make up for it. LMNOP Feb 18 11, 8:49 pm PDT 173 Im only posting this one to get notifications harbiden Feb 23 11, 12:28 pm PDT 174 After a while it really becomes simple. I also compliment a person if I want to meet them. Things like Wow, what a great tie. I love your perfume. Ive learned over the years that even if I dont really mean it, people soften when they hear it. I also ask people

questions about themselves. People really do love to talk about themselves. It also takes the pressure off of you to keep the conversation going. People laugh when I refer to myself as shy. tiffany Mar 02 11, 5:25 pm PDT 175 im in middle school and my shyness is kinda akward because im only shy at school also i live neighborhood and all the kids go to my school but i dont feel shy around them and in other places i scream and shout but i dont care and im one of those people who talk to probably 4 to 5 people a day at school. but i dont want to be shy in school anymore. help me please Rhoda Mar 09 11, 3:05 am PDT 176 Am always shy when it comes to talking to a crowd, either large or small. I pray one day, i shall be free from shyness. Hex Mar 11 11, 8:08 pm PDT 177 You are a genius. This is a great article and wonderfully written. Thanks. elena Mar 14 11, 3:35 am PDT 178 I am extremely shy!! Sometimes I even find it hard to talk to my best friend :/ situations can get very awkward and I just never know what to say :/ HELP!! Anthony Mar 29 11, 4:12 am PDT 179 I can be very shy at times but sometimes I kinda just take a leap, put myself out there and say people are just people :) Ryan Apr 04 11, 10:55 am PDT 180 #6 I think is great. I like to think about the job of sales a lot in terms of social interaction because it helps you get over any holdups you might have. Shyness is one of them. If you think about sales, your whole interaction with the potential customer is focused on your potential customer. Its not about what you had for dinner, what you are doing tomorrow, what things you like to do its about somebody else. So when meeting someone new, find something about THEM to talk about. Find out what their interests are and dive right in. THeSilentArTistE Apr 06 11, 5:23 am PDT 181

hii:) thx for the tips! i feel like i can really relate to what Amanda said she went through. i am in my first year of high school, which is soon comming to an end. it is different than what i expected it to be. i am really shy but once i get to know someone really well, that is if i like them, i am open with them. but i tend to meet people who i wish i hadnt met. the first friend i made in highschool, besides my middle school friends, turned out to be a complete psycho, which i didnt figure out until after i spent most of my time with this person and not my other friends. we used to be really good friends until she started to say stuff to put me down, then go onto saying just kidding! and i always tend to be nice even to the people who arent nice to me, when inside i feel like telling them exactly how i feel.but the language isnt really apropriate.:panyway, all these things that she would say to me i would start to believe, even when others said it wasnt true, and it made me really self conscious. i alienated myself from my other friends, trying to prove myself to this one person, and now, idk how to back out of this friendship! people probably assume that im just as crazy as her, but im not! i dont even feel unique anymore. she started copying me with EVERYTHING, like my hair, my cloths, my art, .even my expressions. knowing her, she probably even took credit for them too! well, i guess i should stop before i end up writing a novel! thx:) SonicShyGuy Apr 17 11, 11:21 am PDT 182 Great post. I think one of the major causes of shyness and social anxiety is being too much in your head. Thats why I really like point #19. Staying in the moment takes so much practice, but its worth it. I find that my interactions are smoother (more interesting, even) when Im focused on just enjoying the present conversation and not speculating about whether the person likes me. Ajay Rathor Apr 19 11, 3:51 am PDT 183 Excellent Article. Grace Apr 20 11, 10:17 pm PDT 184 another important thing- STAND TALL(: Shane Apr 21 11, 9:30 am PDT 185 Thanks for that. I find that aside from the problems with shyness, I also have to deal with how I knock myself for how I behave when I feel that way. SonicShyGuy said above about being too much in your head, and I agree thats a big part of it, but thats also one of the good things about shy people is that we tend to be more analytical. When were younger the message seems to be a lot that its bad to be shy and it will work against us, but we should remember that it isnt bad, its just who we are. Jen May 10 11, 6:02 am PDT

186 Ive tried so many things to help me be myself around others. This has given me hope again. Thank you. preetika May 12 11, 3:56 am PDT 187 hi your article was really inspiringi am a school girl and am preparing for entrance examinationsi am very hard working but not as intelligent as my competitors in my coaching centre areand that is wat is making me feel more embarrassed in front of them . when our teacher asks us questions i feel afraid and have made a mind set up that i cannot do iti get into awkward situations because of this .and this is effecting my hard work towards my ambitions because of irrelevent thoughts in my mind.i am afraid that maybe this habit of mine may ruin my life girl May 13 11, 6:21 pm PDT 188 this is a great article, im in 8th grade and very shy. I go to dances and stuff but I NEVER danced. I NEVER had a boyfriend, and people always say, why! Your so beautiful and a great person! pshh, I just push that comment aside and say bluntly thank you. Ive been labelling my self sooo bad that everytime Im in a intense situation I start to tear up and soon cry. I hate being shy because it ruins my solical life. I feel everyones eyes looking at me and I tense up. Now, in highschool thanks to this article Ill make a difference and overcome my shyness. Ill try to be in a casual relationship, and Ill try to work through and not run away from uncomfortable situations, like if a guy told me he liked me or something like that, Thanks to this article, starting right now, Im going to try to overcome my shyness. :) Ravi May 28 11, 9:16 am PDT 189 wow really beautiful article just the thing i have been looking for . :) your article has really brought some insight in my life and i thank you for it . :) Marisa Sanders Jun 10 11, 9:52 pm PDT 190 Im in need of alot of help Im very very very very shy Its a little shamefull at times. Im from austin Texas and we are know as the music capital of the world we have events,concerts and festivals everyday literally every day we have over 2 million visitors a year thats massive. Its really ironic. Even though we have tons of people here i have never felt so alone,isolated,empty. I think its more than shyness it might be social phobia. Im not ugly at all. I am plus size. but im not like a whale im just really curvy. Im 18yo and dont have any friends or fun what should i do? Im really afraid of regection. I dont even have a boyfriend. I dont want to be that girl who never did anything. I refuse to be that old lady next door who has 1300 cats. PLEASE SOMEONE ANYONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sankar Chandra Guha Jun 14 11, 12:22 am PDT 191 Love all the people in the world , your shyness will disappear. Nick Magee Jun 22 11, 6:02 am PDT 192 Hi Tina and Amanda, All I can say is omg.. I have lived with shyness all my life and have put it down to being bullied at school and for not having many friends to socialise with in my baby and childhood years. I would like to give you the most heart felt thank you for all that you have written above. It has inspired me to give things more of a go and get out there and get rid of my shyness as we all call it. Thanks once again. Regards, Nick. Surya Jun 23 11, 10:26 am PDT 193 hey..!!! I was got struck with this shyness and was trying a way out..!! Fortunately i came across ur post n it was something which has put myself on a positive track,am sure that i will be soon out of-wat so called-shyness. Heartfull thanks for ur inspiring words. Regards, Surya. Luke G. Jun 30 11, 6:26 am PDT 194 As someone who has been dealing with shyness for some time, I really appreciated these tips. Ill definitely be putting them to good use! Thanks for this well-written and inspiring article! Susan Jul 02 11, 5:34 am PDT 195 Ive been shy my whole life, Ive tried some of the tips youve mentioned here before, it did help my overall self-esteem, but am I totally over my shyness, not quite, but still solid advice! Social Skills Jul 06 11, 12:40 pm PDT 196 From reading this, I believe that shyness is learned behavior. When you were a kid, we had this free-spirit about us but as time passed, we learned how to be shy. Upbringing and our lack of social skills development contributed to our shyness. But it can be overcome. Excellent advice you provided. #11 learning to accept and admit the uncomfortable situation is the best way to face our shyness. Selena

Jul 10 11, 8:31 am PDT 197 hi! thanx for this fabulous article; i learnt a lot of stuff of how to overcome my shyness but id really appreciate if u could help me in another shyness topic which is the red face :-) !! i always turn to red when i speak with people even with my family and my friends and especially with strangers and i really dont know how to avoid this redness! Help me to get over it and speak normally with the others cuz it really affects on people around me. Thanx Dude Jul 15 11, 9:46 am PDT 198 Great stuff, very helpful, thanks a lot Arpitha Aug 02 11, 11:09 am PDT 199 hi , im afraid that i would pronounce differently and i am scared that everyone else laugh at me.Im a kind of shy person and i have twice failed to speak up effectively on stage and hence dint try it for the third time and on of my teacher said me i had taken lot of time to deliver a word so he suggested me to improve my communication skills i know i can speak good english than that of my friends(though my mother tongue is not english) but still they can deliver speech effectively why not me??? so im soo worried if i have to get job i have to speak to unknowns which is very difficult for mesome times with fear i talk some rubbish things so what is the solution plz send me the solution will be waiting.. H Aug 14 11, 1:33 am PDT 200 I have a different cultural background to most others in my class, and feel nervous that they may be laughing at me inside. A bit different to others, but I am good at most of the subjects I have ever done, but still can not get over my shyness Because I am good at my subjects, I am scared when trying to think about what I want to be when I grow up I try to think about only choosing one subject, but am afraid that I will drop out a subject that could have made me successful(im sorta going off the whole shyness thing) and i also have a runny nose all year round, because of a dust allergy, and feel strange always having to blow my nose with a handkerchief during class WinsonZ Aug 24 11, 1:06 am PDT 201 Thanks alot for this article:) It relates alot to me. I have to admit that i struggle alot when it comes to opening up to girls. Since primary and secondary school, i am totally shy towards girls, having minimal contact with them. Or sometimes when they are near me,i would just look at the floor

until they walk away. This is a really sucky feeling and i desire to just move out of it. I believe that opening up oneself have to be consistent effort because at times, i may find it so easy to open up and can really be happy the whole day whereas at some time, i would go emo and even the simplest thing of just saying HI seems like a huge terror to me. Hope that after applying the tips in my life,it would really help me and break me free of this self:) Elyssa Donato Aug 26 11, 10:30 pm PDT 202 Amanda and Tina, Thank you so much for publishing this article! I can relate to almost every situation you two discussed. Im glad that you wrote from two different viewpoints, knowing that the people I envy for being likeable are struggling just as much as I am is surprising to me. I mean Ive heard the everyone is experiencing the same thing speech a thousand times but seeing the words typed out and having a name to categorize my shyness helped out immensely. Seriously, thank you. Edwin Aug 27 11, 6:06 am PDT 203 thnx for the useful info,i have been try to overcome it so many years,let hope it gona work this time Riahnn Aug 31 11, 12:34 am PDT 204 i am so sick of people telling me your quiet, talk more. most of the time i just dont know what to say but i will think of these things next time i find myself being shy. dave Sep 18 11, 5:33 pm PDT 205 I am too shy to write a comment, but thanks to this site i am able to Tin Oct 12 11, 5:46 pm PDT 206 I am a Fresh man high school and i always been shy but when am with only 1 person talking alone my shyness disappear but when there lots of them it feel like i disapear i still dont know what to do i get contious i been shy since elementary and it takes long time for me to open up.. Jessica Oct 13 11, 3:46 am PDT 207 Thankyou so much, this is by far the most helpful article i have read on overcoming shyness. I am in year 9 at highschool and I have always been quite a shy, sensitive person. I cant help but care what other people think of me. Especially when around kids that arent in my social circle, I just kind of freeze, too afraid to say anything because it will be stupid

and theyll think Im weird. I hate awkward situations and try to avoid them as much as possible! I look at other people and admire how interesting and easily outgoing theyre and wish i could be like them. My best friend is really outgoing and pretty, like the prettiest in our year, which sometimes makes me jealous and self conscious because everyone likes her more than me. Whenever were talking to new people, i find it hard to get any words in because she is so confident and always talking. I think over time ive just accepted that im the shy one and just find it easy to stay that way. Which is why when in situations without my bestfriend, it is really awkward because im not used to making good conversation. I think that maybe it is awkward because thats what i expect in i already know it is going to be awkward before the situation even takes place. The things you said about how we should stop labelling ourselves and stop analysing every wrong move we do in social situations made so much sense and im going to try it all tomorrow at school! and im going to be more positive about myself. im moving schools next year so im going to really need this! Thanks so much! :) s.niraj Nov 06 11, 2:19 am PDT 208 Thankyou ! for this website creater because he made me very happy s.niraj Nov 06 11, 2:23 am PDT 209 It made me very very happy and it has been solved my problems once again thankyou ways you can help your hair grow faster Nov 07 11, 1:31 pm PDT 210 Definitely consider that that you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the net the simplest factor to take note of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while other folks consider worries that they plainly do not recognize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as smartly as defined out the entire thing without having side-effects , other people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thank you mehran Nov 13 11, 7:30 am PDT 211 hi every body hoping u best wishes i like this articale its like giving a new motavation to someone thanks to google and of course to selena at first i read selena coments its hapens to me oftenly i turn red talking with strangers and now i m not changing my colour talking with strangers good luck kassaye Dec 08 11, 11:04 pm PDT 212

Tnx for ur positive thought TIna:) i hope the articles will be very helpful for me to improve my shyness Vidhya Dec 23 11, 11:00 pm PDT 213 Some kids speaks well with their parents and family members, but they feel shy and hardly to speak with third persons or guests, in that situation parents are forcing children to speak with them! Is that good way? how or what to do with different kinds of children?. Rachel Dec 30 11, 11:52 pm PDT 214 A very well written article- it accurately depicts the problems that this portion of society faces and gives helpful advice, and I will definitely try to apply these tips to my own life. Having been plagued by the effects of shyness, I have allowed it to affect my life and it has worn me down and suppressed my true personality as well. I have always wanted to try and overcome it, but have never been fully committed to doing so. In my opinion, shyness is not a particularly bad quality since it allows us to gain knowledge though silence and become better listeners. However, that combined with a lack of self confidence takes away from multiple opportunities to grow socially and meet other people. Building my confidence will allow me to become the well-rounded person I have always wanted to be. Thank you again for the wonderful advice. -Rachel (sorry about the error in my first post) Sam folley Jan 04 12, 6:34 am PDT 215 Hey guys, what to do if you get red with out knowing? Thats my big enemy!! sneha Jan 05 12, 12:37 am PDT 216 Nice Artical!! .And Really a realistic talk by O. Foufoutos are excellently working out Sammi Jan 05 12, 5:19 pm PDT 217 The only reason Im shy is because of past rejection. Ive gotten over my more recent rejections, because of my increased self-confidence over the years, but I havent gotten over the past ones. Is there any ways I can get over my past rejections? ANON Jan 08 12, 11:29 am PDT 218 You were just waiting for people to come along who were worthy of your company. My advice: Dont always assume you are to blame. Some people arent ready for someone of your calibre ;) guest315 Jan 21 12, 5:38 pm PDT

219 Very nice article!!! I am quite different from a lot of people. I was never shy in my childhood or in my high school, but after high school shyness took over me and even now I am suffering from it. I was really very confident, positive and very clear about what I had to say. Shyness makes me say things, that I never think I can say. I depicts a wrong personality of a person. I have lost valuable things and opportunities because of my shyness. I pray no one else would suffer from shyness in future and people who are shy will overcome it. Thanks for the article. Ben Holman Jan 30 12, 11:18 am PDT 220 I can talk to a lot of people easily without feeling uncomfortable but when I talk to attractive girls or popular people I can feel awkward and my mind drifts away from the conversation and I start feeling self-concious. I cant think of how to carry on the conversation and I start to go red when I reply to the person. Its very annoying and makes me feel less confident. When I was younger I used to be a loud and confident person and was the most popular in the class. I am from the UK so I moved up to secondary school and it was a lot different. I dont know how it happened by I am now the quiet person in the school and I think I might be overcoming it slowly, but I am still quiet and want to overcome it as soon as possible. I am 14 years old by the way. Bob Feb 10 12, 12:11 am PDT 221 Wow! This is the best thing Ive ever read on overcoming shyness. Youve looked at this issue from so many different angles, and digged so deep that you really crystallized the core things out. For me, my favorite here is the 3-question-mantra, Ive written that down on a piece of paper and carry it in my wallet now as a reminder. Johnny Feb 24 12, 7:00 pm PDT 222 This remind me about a song that mention: Shyness can stop you From doing all the things in life Chris Feb 29 12, 8:19 am PDT 223 I love the three questions. Simple advice like this can really help when you get into the habit of using them frequently. Daniel Lux Mar 04 12, 10:59 pm PDT 224 This is AMAZING! like actually amazing Ive read several help books on anxiety, and this post beats all the books Ive read so far! Thank you for such a very helpful post that can relate to anyone who is battling anxiety :) We are stronger than we think.

Isabella Mar 16 12, 7:11 pm PDT 225 I am in 7th grade. I never used to be this shy, I actually got this way when I came into 7th grade. I became upset with myself. I live in an apartment, not a big house like everybody else. I only have a few friends. I also find it easier to keep my mouth shut instead of saying something stupid that I will regret. Now, if Im loud people are really surprised. They believe I am extremely shy. If I try to come out of my shell awkwardness overtakes me and people can sense it. I am constantly called shy, quiet, and emotionless. Ive tried everything but nothing works. I dont want to be popular, but I cant stay like this either. Guys are afraid to ask me out, too. Everybody says, The way you walk and keep your head high intimidates people. So basically guys think Im going to reject them. I thought I was shy! I am so confused. Also, in class I dont know many people, many of them already have their own cliques and if I even tried talking to them they would shut me out. So, I just stay quiet. Now the teacher always says Im the best student and everybody laughs at me! Yesterday, one girl called me a slut. Ive never done anything to deserve that, I dont even know her. So am I shy? I think I am, I ALWAYS think about Am i walking right? or Am i sucking it in so I dont get called fat? or Is my hair messed up? or Is my mae up perfect? or Are these clothes okay? and most commonly: Am I smiling? I cant do that, my teeth are ugly. Ive been made fun of this before. All these thoughts swirling through my head, I get so flustered and go into selfpity with no idea how I can get out, or if I can. Please help. Abby Apr 03 12, 10:58 am PDT 226 I liked reading this article. I like the three questions, and am going to try them, because often times when I begin speaking in front of people, I become so nervous and terrified that I could hardly tell you what Im doing or saying. However, I agree with still shy. I too am in uncomfortable situations on a regular basis at work, and I very often have to speak in front of 15 or more people, which I really dislike doing. The nervousness and anxiety has not lessened over time. In fact, from the age of about 8 I have been making concerted efforts to be more outgoing and avoid others labeling me as shy, but I have not been very successful. Its unfortunate, because I feel that my shyness and overall social awkwardness is affecting my career. I dont need to be a social butterfly, but Im sure that I wont have the same opportunities in my career that my more extroverted and outgoing coworkers will. Jeff Apr 06 12, 9:52 am PDT 227 Good things come to those who take action and start creating good things. American folk legend Will Rogers nailed it when he said, Go out on a limb. Thats where all the fruit is.

Although it might be scary to climb out from the safety of the trunk, youll rarely pluck the sweet fruit by waiting there. Awkward Turtle Apr 11 12, 2:48 pm PDT 228 HI Tina, I just like to say that I loved your article! You pointed out major key factors on the subject that I wouldnt have thought of. But it is so true. Shy people are complete worry warts. We are so involved in our thoughts that we never recognize anything else. Coming from personal experience I still have trouble with this today. When you mentioned #3 Labeling it got to me because what Amanda had said reflected exactly how I have felt for the longest time. Me and Amanda are so much alike, its unreal. But your article is really helpful and I would definitely take your advice! So thank you for everything! ns Apr 21 12, 7:26 pm PDT 229 i feel shy a lot- thats why i have become addicted to anti-anxiety meds. i feel i need to take them in social situations and feel this is pathetic but i so desperately need them. my psych cut me off of them due to a misunderstanding w/the pharmacy and now i have a limited supply of them. i think my parents were both shy and i have inherited it. my uncle was quite brilliant, a lawyer that was shy and drank to overcome it. he committed suicide in his 50s due to his drinking. i should try to stay away from chemical dependency seeing as how it runs in my family. but im still shy and feel so much better on a controlled substance. shoot Over Shyness Jul 04 12, 7:23 am PDT 230 Besides, most people are too busy looking at themselves. Probably the most important line in this entire article. I clearly remember feeling like everyone was watching what I did the whole time but the truth is people are generally too self involved to notice others and the ones that do rarely care. Over Shyness Jul 04 12, 7:24 am PDT 231 In fact I remember reading some actual statistics on shyness recently and it was something like 50% of the US consider themselves shy to some extent which means at least half the people out there are too busy worrying about what you think of THEM to worry about what youre doing. Omar Jul 19 12, 12:59 pm PDT 232 Wow!! I just feel liberated! Im not alone. I guess Im so hooked in my own shell. As I read this article, waves of realization hit me, as I have accidentally acted upon many solutions that are mentioned here.

By the way, I can relate to both accounts of Amanda and Tina, maybe leaning more on Amanda. So I guess Im an introvert, forced to express myself in some demanding situations. Thank You for such an illuminating article. By the way this is the first time Ive written a comment on anywhere other than Facebook. sam Jul 20 12, 3:56 am PDT 233 those tips up in there a good and id like to try them. Rohit Jul 20 12, 11:09 am PDT 234 great article !! feeling confident after reading it ..:). hope i overcome this show stopper asap. Observer Jul 27 12, 11:30 am PDT 235 Ways to overcome shyness for a brief period can be helpful. But, I dont think there is a need to change this basic nature of shyness. Being happy with whoever you are and not wasting too much time and energy changing yourself would be a good idea. Take a look: Angie Aug 09 12, 10:29 pm PDT 236 I am just about to begin my last year of high school, and I am currently tied for Valedictorian with my best friend; either way, if it ends in a tie or I win or lose, I will be making a speech at graduation. I have always been a very shy person. My voice gets shaky, I cannot look anyone in the eye, and I tend not to swallow when I speak so after a couple sentences Im gulping in a sense because Ive run out of air. I have always been extremely nervous about the speech I will have to make (especially considering my older sister was valedictorian as well and made a great speech). I KNOW that I need to not focus on living up to my sister and I need to believe in myself, and I hope that I can reach that point before the end of the year. Ive already improved slightly at talking to people and at being self sufficient (I used to make my mom pump my gas or order my meal at a restaraunt) as well as making presentationsin front of the class. One of my hopes, also, is to actually tie with my best friend, because then I will be overcoming my fear with a very close friend/support by my side. I anyone has any advice, please feel free to help me out. It would be much appreciated :D brijesh Aug 17 12, 6:48 am PDT 237 your each word is like a perfect answer or sollution for my big big biiiiggg problem

thank you so much owenbaby Aug 30 12, 6:55 pm PDT 238 im so shy the shiest girl in my class but i dont let ppl boss me around i stand up for myself but when im around strangers i feel afrain like there gonna laugh at me or something when im shy i act stupid or mentally ill i hate this alotand that story idnt help. Dan Sep 01 12, 10:08 am PDT 239 I am shy. I have always been shy and Ive always tried to cover it up. Self improvement techniques rob you from exploring your true potentials and instead make you waste time on improving the un-improvable. I no longer wish to improve. Instead Id like to accept my weaknesses. The definition of confidence to me is accepting your weaknesses with pride. Danube Sep 02 12, 8:16 am PDT 240 Thank you so much for the article!!! Shyness is such a big problem for me, tooIt makes my life so hardbut thanks to people like you, Amanda and Tina, I got a hope that theres always next timeI must struggle and I will! llewin Sep 20 12, 4:53 pm PDT 241 hi,tina, i am a very shy person, you can say a introvert,this is due to my childhood upbringing, my parents never encouraged me to do things or participate in any activities but they only wanted me to study,well i studied very good but over the years i became introvert and nervous around people,i look good and i all the time think of my self, that something may be wrong with me and people will laugh at me, negative thinking has disturb my conciousness. but reading your article really made me think,let see if it helps me , before i have tried many things but it dint work but i hope this will work. thank you very much for the article. A shy-guy *coughs wessy* Dec 05 12, 7:23 pm PDT 242 I feel exactly how the person who posted the commented #17 feels. In fact, I believe I am even more inconsistent than this person. I have been trying hard to overcome this, some days I feel extroverted, full of life, talking to everybody with no problems, then some days I just cant pick-up the phone. As the comment #17 says, sometimes it is really hard to focus on the conversation or worry less about ourselves thinking the person is as much self-conscious as we are, however, I sweat too much, my face goes red so fast and my voice gets an extreme weird tone with a insane stutter! My hands get shaky and sweaty. Filling out a form in public is a torture, it gets all wet as if it has been exposed to rain all day long.

You see, things like this are not subtle, and Im aware that people notice it, lots of people used to comment about how shaky my hands were and they felt pitiful about it (which made me feel even worse about myself). It is such a hassle, if my shyness never showed up those traits, I am almost sure I could have broken the barrier years and years ago. Im afraid to go out because I dont want others to see me sweating like a pig, shaking as if I was a drug addict who havent had any recently and etc etc. Im afraid people will make fun of me on my back ohh remember that guy, he is so weird, he acts so weird. Since my shyness is demonstrated by my silly body who thinks its a great idea to corporeally show them about how uneasy I am feeling in that situation, I find it extremely hard to overcome shyness. Im trying to overcome it, though. Reading this was a great assurance that Im not alone and I know if I try hard I will overcome it. It doesnt matter if it takes months or years, as long as one day in my life I can fully take a deep breath and sleep in peace knowing my life is at least normal. It truly was a good read. If only I could stop sweating, shaking or have a weird shy voice I would feel normal at least once. I know Im good-looking and that people are always interested in talking to me, but it doesnt help if I make them turn around right away because they dont want to spend some time with a shy person who cant speak properly. To my relatives, friends and people very close to me I am normal (at least that), I never had any problem of shyness if the group of people I am in is bigger than the number of strangers. I had a girlfriend before but I was ok in that time. I was not feeling socially shy or anything, I was 17 years old in that time. Things didnt work out so we had to break out. After that, everything was still normal until I had a certain incident which I believe caused me to become shy: I got extremely skinny, like seriously, SUPER SKINNY! And I would be self-conscious about it. Heck, you could count the number of ribs I had if I took my shirts off, so for at least 1 or 2 years I was trying to recover the shape of my body and I have come through many discomforting situations which exposed my skinniness, and how people would comment about it straight in my face. 2 years after that now (as in today), I recovered my shape, Im not skinny anymore, I say Im pretty normal looking (your average Brazilian guy ;)), so even though I know Im not the spotlight of any place anymore, I cant help but feel shy and discomfort. Its some sort of paranoia, it come sand goes at a random rate (as I said above, Im inconsistent). Anyway, Ill try to follow these tips and try to become a better person. It has been hindering my social and love life lately, but I promised to myself I will change, Im aiming high in life, Im well educated as well, I would be such a waste of a human life if I cant sort things out and work my way out of this situation. ;( Sorry for the very long wall-of-text, I just had to take it off my chest. P.S: MNMHBBK, SFEIPIWCBILYAYKIWALY. (this code is to a special person). I wonder if it will be translated accordingly. A shy-guy *coughs wessy* Dec 07 12, 9:02 am PDT 243 o3o ohhh shy guy wessy, i know how you feel. care to share your facebook? ;) A shy-guy *coughs wessy* Dec 07 12, 5:19 pm PDT

244 That is what I always get when people find out. :/ A shy-guy *coughs wessy* Dec 07 12, 5:22 pm PDT 245 Haha, my brother is stupid! Checking my bookmarks. Moni Dec 11 12, 2:19 pm PDT 246 Hi Amanda and Tina, Thanks for the awesome article, had me in tears cos just what I needed to hear/read today. Thanks for the effort that went into putting it together such a blessing! I particularly got a lot out of the 12. Accepting Rejection. I am currently dealing with a situation where I had gotten to the second point, had realised not to take it personally, and was looking for the silver lining it it, but was still wallowing in self pity. So, thanks to you both, Im now going to dust myself off and find another way!!! Yay Thanks also to O. Foufoutos, your posting on Jul24 .08 is great. Awesome ideas and tips which Im going to try out. My own recommendation to others, as an introvert, is Toastmasters, as others have said here. Ive been going to Toastmasters for two years now, and my life has changed significantly. Quite aside from a new bunch of friends at my club, is the ability to actually enjoy social situations now. Ill never be the centre of attention, and always on the quiet side, but I can join in now, and enjoy life more. Also, since joining Toastmasters, I have become a trainer/facilitator in my career field, so I stand in front of groups, delivering classes for two days of the week. Who would have thought? Im still a bit shy at times, but I know I also have a lot to offer with my knowledge and insights, and I always get excellent feedback from my participants. Most importantly, Ive learnt to have fun doing this work. Joining Toastmasters was something I put off for YEARS, but one of the best things Ive ever done. So, thanks again for the excellent article, Im now off to dust of my self pity, and go out there and succeed in the things Im passionate about! God bless! Nader Dec 26 12, 11:41 am PDT 247 Tina, I loved this article! Im 14 and Im terribly shy and its extremely painful because I often feel rejected or I feel like a waste of space or even invisible to some people. When Im alone with one or just a few friends, Im not shy at all and actually talk a lot! But when theres many boys I feel too shy to say anything. Especially that I dont know much about their topics so in too scared of being humiliated if I say anything awkward. Although I participate a lot in class. Many people know me as that shy kid but I want to show them that Im not just a shy kid, I want to show my presence, my worth to people because I dont even know what are my strengths now. Please help me! dave

Dec 30 12, 1:35 pm PDT 248 Been a toastmaster forever, but I would still, NEVER, ever approach a woman.If she finds me attractive, she will come to me. Why would ANY guy bargain himself away like that. Seems like fewer and fewer men are approaching women these days, and that might be the reason. Elizabeth Jan 01 13, 2:10 pm PDT 249 Hi Im actually 13 and I was searching for a way to overcome shyness since thats what my new years resolution is but when finishing reading this I realized that the main way to change this flaw is to accept it and try to change it. Just to challenge yourself in awkward situations and try to talk to people you usually dont. Thanks for this article! Hopefully by the end of the year my shyness will be gone. alex Jan 01 13, 7:25 pm PDT 250 Thanks for the article. It has changed my life because it describes exactly how I feel when am in social settings. Toastmasters does not work for me because even though I am shy, I love presenting any topic to the people in room. I need a hangout group for shy people where I can feel more comfortable. Too bad many cities dont have that. My family and relatives think shyness can be cured within a few minutes. But its far from the truth for most people. I think family support for shyness is very useful too. I am dissapointed to say I have never met any shy person. Its very difficult to meet any shy person online since they never reply back to your messages. It is difficult to meet any shy person outside because they all show extrovert behaviour. I recommend this article to any shy person. Its not half baked but 20 useful lifetime tips for introverts who find it difficult to not be shy. Thankyou once again. You are angels for me. Annie Jan 06 13, 7:54 pm PDT 251 Thank you. You have no idea what youve done for me. Thank you so much. :) Elise Feb 15 13, 2:34 pm PDT 252 Angie, When I graduated in 2011, I was in the exact same situation as you! My best friend and I had GPAs that were extremely close, and we were in the running for valedictorian/salutatorian. (I ended up valedictorian, though I think she deserved it more than me. :) ) Ive always been shy, too. I was basically known for being quiet, and I was actually told that some people wondered how I was going to be able to give the speech, because theyd never heard me talk! And, in my class of about 500, relatively few people even knew I existed.

Giving a speech is a little different than having a conversation, though. A conversation tends to be difficult for me because Im unsure of what to say, worried that I will say something wrong or stupid, or that the person Im talking to wont like me. For a speech, you have time to figure out exactly what you want to say, foresee/fix any problems, and, in the case of a valedictory/salutatory speech, youre never going to see most these people again! So if for some reason they dont like you or your speech, it doesnt even matter! The most important advice in this situation is this: PRACTICE. Once you know what you want to say, practice your speech. Start by just reading it aloud to yourself. Then read in front of a mirror. Then in front of your family, in front of your close friends, and then in front of people you might consider acquaintances people you feel fairly comfortable around, but still just uncomfortable enough for you to practice working through nerves. :) Another piece of advice is to have fun! Really enjoy what youre doing! It might seem difficult or even impossible at first, but if you enjoy it, itll take your mind off some of the nervousness. I snuck in quotes from my favorite TV show and my favorite movie in my speech, and was tickled by the fact that I knew only a select few would know that I was referencing anything at all. :) When graduation day finally came, I was still a little nervous about giving the speech. There isnt a whole lot that can be done about that, except to breath calmly and think positive thoughts. We were allowed to have a speech in front of us, and that can be a huge comfort. At that point I basically had my speech memorized, but I still used my script to guide and support me. I gave my speech, only made one very minor speaking error, and sat down. It was over! Theres comfort in its brevity. Best wishes, and let me know how everything turns out for you and your friend! :) P.S. This site has some other really helpful tips for public speaking: M Feb 24 13, 1:14 am PDT 253 That was brilliant! I say this article marks a before and after in my life and I mean it! Excellent! I am so grateful of having read this! Thank you so much! This is just what I needed to solve most of my problems!!! I cant believe it! You are awesome!!!!!!! THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brittney Mar 11 13, 8:53 am PDT 254 Hello, I usually feel shyness when in public. I never feel shyness when im speaking to someone because i know that the person im speaking with is the exact person as me i mean like we are the same no one is perfect. In public I feel everyone is judgeing me.Please help me! thank you! VW Mar 12 13, 9:54 pm PDT 255 Wow! Totally needed to read this article right now. I have struggled with being shy my whole life. I think some of it is due to the fact that my mother was such an overbearing

figure in my childhood because she would yell mean and hurtful things to me all the time. She would get mad at me for things that I couldnt help either like having to go to the bathroom and would start yelling at me in front of anyone who was around no matter where we were at. I would be so humiliated I just wanted to disappear and I think this is when I started keeping more to myself so that I never had to feel that awful feeling again. She would call me dumb and stupid too and it was very hurtful to my self-esteem. I can relate to what Amanda said how everyone just expects you to be shy and not say anything and at the time its just easier to keep it that way. But anytime that I do put myself out there to be more outgoing, outspoken, and conversational I feel like my wings are cut off the next time a person says that I am quiet. I feel so bad that I start crying and hit things out of great disappointment and frustration. That is such an awful word to me and I think it is so offensive when someone calls me that. It makes me feel like I dont matter and that Im not important in this world. I have never admitted to anyone that I am a shy person and I just hopes it pays off to where I see myself in a positive way in the end. Its really comforting to hear that Im not the only one that struggles with this. I even felt weird googling this topic but Im glad I did. Thanks for the article!!!! It describes word for word what I never wanted to admit I felt. VW Mar 12 13, 10:01 pm PDT 256 I pray for all of the shy introverts who want to come out of their shells to do so one day and be happy with themselves!!! Melika Mar 13 13, 6:04 am PDT 257 thanks it was good Khan Apr 08 13, 9:51 pm PDT 258 Dear Tina! I have read so many articles on social anxiety and tried so hard to find a way to adjust to these minor problems. You have done such an awesome job of describing the issues and overcoming them! I am so very thankful :) P.S Ive never commented on any article, this is my first!! Your Thoughts? Add A Comment We'd love to hear them! Please share: Name (required) Mail (will not be published) (required) Website XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Notify me of follow up comments via e-mail Trackbacks (52) gfrast / Daily hand picked web links - mixed with a shot of reality. - Jul 01 08 Welcome to pendek banget.. Blog Archive 20 Ways to Attack Shyness - Jul 02 08 Go to read my opinion Blog Archive 20 Ways to Attack Shyness - Jul 02 08 How to get rid of shyness | The How To Do Things Blog - Jul 02 08 - Jul 02 08 20 Ways to Attack Shyness - Jul 02 08 20 Ways to Attack Shyness | Our Renaissance - Jul 02 08 MWTK - How to approach girls/Be able to talk to girls - Page 2 - Perth Street Bikes - Jul 02 08 Miniposts: Dejando atrs la timidez - ALT1040 - Jul 02 08 20 formas de dejar atras la timidez Stop It Now - Detenlo, deten lo que quieras detener. Ahora! - Jul 02 08 The Introverts Strike Back | Hunter Nuttall . com - Jul 02 08 Fat Mobil Content xmen hentai comics 20 Ways to Attack Shyness - Jul 03 08 Holistic Answers Blog Archive 20 Ways to Attack Shyness - Jul 04 08 Links for Super-Charged Living - July 5, 2008 | My Super-Charged Life - Jul 05 08 links for 2008-07-06 | hochan.NET - Jul 06 08 Overcoming Shyness using Warrior Techniques | Self Development at Warrior Development - Jul 06 08 Weekly Roundup 2 Interesting Articles Around the Blogosphere | Blogging Tips & Custom Banner Designs at - Jul 07 08 Bright Side Lover - Jul 10 08 20 Ways To Attack Shyness | My Life As A Primerica Agent - Jul 10 08 20 Ways to Attack Shyness - Offtopicz - Jul 22 08 20 Ways to Attack Shyness - Jan 09 09 20 maneiras para atacar a timidez Muitolegals Blog - Mar 16 09 Overcoming Shyness Use this Practical Approach | Personal Development by Personal Development and Growth Blogger | Mystic Madness - May 10 09 Happiness + Psychology Links That You Cant Miss how to be human - Jun 14 09 4 Tips For Helping Shy Children The Parents Zone - Jun 17 09 Succes Dublu Recomandari - Aug 02 09 How to Break Through Shyness and Meet New People | Cheap Date Ideas! - Aug 31 09 List of Very Valuable Information - Sep 09 09 3 Ways To Use Marketing To Improve Your Life - Jan 26 10 Calm Growth . com 36 Resources For Building Your Self-Confidence - Mar 25 10 nice article about shyness - - May 25 10 14 Social Skills Resources for an Amazing Social Life - Jun 20 10 130 Powerful Success Factors for a Gigantic Growth | Calm Growth - Jul 10 10 ShimaPatel - Aug 03 10 Bridget - Aug 13 10 Edward Craig - Aug 13 10 Vincenzo Acquaroli - Aug 13 10 Finding Melissa - Aug 13 10 Vincenzo Acquaroli - Aug 13 10

Sarina Singh - Aug 13 10 srini - Aug 13 10 20 Ways to Overcome Shyness - Aug 22 10 Liesl - Oct 23 10 Liev - Nov 17 10 Blog Round Up Reinvented - Jan 09 11 Overcoming Shyness A Spiritual Approach | Believe In Change - Jan 11 11 How to Stop Being Shy? - Jan 16 11 20 Ways to Overcome Shyness Jodeline's Blog - Mar 12 11 Learning to Face My Secret Fear Kendra's Blog - Apr 06 11 Don't Judge Yourself for Being Who You Are | Practical Thoughts on Living Life - Apr 21 11 Shyness is Not the End: 21 Resources for Overcoming your Shyness | Jun 16 11 16.06 To do everyday - Jun 17 11 Subscribe via: Email | RSS Advertising Google+ Twitter Facebook Personal New? Start Here About this Site * About Tina Su * Book Recommendations Archives Write for us? POPULAR POSTS 31 Life Lessons in 31 Years How to Get Over a Break Up The Meaning Of Life Dealing with Difficult People How to Find True Love Dream to Reality: How I Quit My Day Job Life on Purpose: 15 Questions to Discover Your Personal Mission 20 Ways to Attack Shyness 6 Steps to Eliminate Limited Beliefs 40 Simple Gift Ideas to Spark a Smile Living Enlightenment LATEST POSTS Stepping into Visibility My Story of Overcoming Fear How to Overcome Perfectionism

How to Find Your Purpose The Gifts of Being Vulnerable Couples Counseling 6 Truths Understanding Money & Abundance Finding the Perfect Job Path to Simplicity How to Stop Gossiping How to Find Your Unique Strength New Year Resolutions: Look Within Love Yourself: The 90/10 Principle The Art of Boasting The Dark Side of Self-Help CATEGORIES career clarity communication creativity depression environment family forgive Gratitude green happiness health mindset money motivation productivity relationships video wisdom MARKETPLACE Buying Tablet PCs with free shipping Advertising First Ladies: Influence & Image Join C-SPAN Mondays at 9 pm ET for the original documentary series First Ladies: Influence and Image for an in-depth look at all the first ladies, examining their private lives and the public roles they played in the White House. Watch a highlight from our most recent episode about Sarah Polk.

Read more... Read Machiavelli for Moms One woman's unorthodox solution to the messy, chaotic, and confusing world of modern motherhood--an experiment in "power parenting" and a manifesto for moms who date to take Machiavelli's famously manipulative advice. Buy yours now! Amazon, B&N, BAM, IndieBound, Kindle, Nook, iBooks Read more... Advertise on Think Simple Now EDITOR'S PICKS The Cab Ride Ill Never Forget When Couples Fight How I Stopped Feeling Depressed A Story of Parenting & Happiness The Perfect New Years Resolution The Art of Embracing Change The Secret to Self Loving How to Design Your Ideal Life The Power of Our Words How to Be Outstanding Train Your Eyes to See Color, Again Overcome Fear in the Economic Crisis How to Quiet Your Mind How to Achieve Anything 15 Tips for Writing Effective Email Living Enlightenment A Personal Report How to Keep a Relationship MARKETPLACE Wholesale Health & Beauty Ambassador Yousef Al Otaiba weight watchers online promotion code Meizitang Australia Light Therapy for SAD Meizitang Botanical Slimming Discount Medifast Coupons Fitness Equipment JOIN US:

MUST READ BOOKS The Power of Now Eckhart Tolle You Can Heal Your Life Louise Hay The Magic of Thinking Big David Schwartz Feel the Fear... and Do It Anyway Susan Jeffers Creative Visualization Shakti Gawain Think and Grow Rich! Napoleon Hill (See More Recommended Books ...)

JOIN US: Home About this Site About Tina Archives Search 2007-2013 Simple Life Media, LLC | Privacy Disclaimer | Subscribe in a reader