At Home, Women Wear the Pants

By KAMAL MENGHRAJANI Behind every powerful man is a more powerful woman. New research gives this old adage a boost. A study published by a group of researchers from Iowa State University found that women were more likely to flex their figurative muscle during arguments and men were more likely to give in. "The surprising finding was that women were exhibiting more power, and men were responding in positive ways," said David Vogel, associate professor of psychology at ISU and lead author of the research study. "It wasn't a power struggle for these couples." Vogel and his colleagues looked at 72 couples from Iowa who volunteered for the study. The spouses were about 33 years old and had been married, on average, for seven years. Unlike previous studies, this one measured power at home on three fronts: professional life and finances, attempts to gain control in the relationship and ultimately getting one's way. As it turns out, even with a nearly even balance of socioeconomic power between both partners, wives made more attempts to gain control during arguments. Moreover, they were often better at getting their husbands to give in than vice versa. "The person with more power was the one who did the more demanding, was more likely to talk about the problem and push for a change to happen," Vogel said. "The other person was responding to this in a positive way." Restructuring Social Theories The ISU study shatters an idea that has become popular in the last decade, known as the social structure theory. This hypothesis asserts that the power in a marriage is shifted in favor of the husband. Because of this imbalance, the theory suggests that wives are more demanding they seek change more often because they need their husbands to cooperate. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to withdraw they have more power, and therefore, can get what they need without the help of their wives. In the new study, however, researchers found that almost half of the couples were equal in status and in those that weren't, the difference between husband and wife was too small to be meaningful. "In the past, the presumption was that men are more demanding," said Barbara Risman, head of the sociology department at the University of Illinois at Chicago. "And women would acquiesce because they had less power." "The complication here is men and women's resources," Risman added. "It isn't always the men who had more in socioeconomic status than the women, and that's important." Even with a mostly equal balance of socioeconomic position between both partners, wives still came out on top. Thus, the theory that wives seek change because they have less power to go it alone does not fit with the findings of the study. But others suggest that the theory may still hold water, depending on the culture under scrutiny and conversations between the couple. Amy Holtzworth-Munroe, professor of psychological and brain sciences at Indiana University in Bloomington, pointed to a study comparing white American couples, Pakistani couples in Pakistan and Pakistani couples who had immigrated to the United States conducted by researchers at Queens University in Canada. "Wives showed more lower-level behavior, like somebody without power might do whining and complaining," Holtzworth-Munroe said of the study's findings. "That data did support the social structure hypothesis, and the jury may still be out," she said. Marriage counselor Susan Heitler points out that power in relationships is complicated, and that there are many factors at play. "A man is likely to be happy if his wife is happy," said Heitler. "So, if saying yes to what his wife wants makes her happy, the husband is finding win-win solutions." She suggested that husbands may think to themselves, "She's happy with the solution, and I'm happy that she's happy." HEALTH Oct 17, 2007, 1:19 PM

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Annette Hacker, director, (515) 294-3720 Office: (515) 294-4777 Professors David Vogel and Megan Murphy led an ISU research team that studied problem-solving behaviors among 72 married couples. Photo by Bob Elbert

06-29-07

Quick look
A team of Iowa State researchers conducted a study of 72 married couples and found that wives, on average, exhibit greater situational power than their husbands during problem-solving discussions, regardless of who raised the topic. They authored a paper titled "Sex Differences in the Use of Demand and Withdraw Behavior in Marriage: Examining the Social Structure Hypothesis," which appeared in last month's issue of the Journal of Counseling Psychology. Quote "The study at least suggests that the marriage is a place where women can exert some power. Whether or not it's because of changing societal roles, we don't know. But they are, at least, taking responsibility and power in these relationships. So at least for relatively satisfied couples, women are able to take some responsibility and are able to exert some power -- but it's hard for us to say why that's so."
David Vogel

Contacts: David Vogel, Psychology, (515) 294-1582, dvogel@iastate.edu Megan Murphy, Human Development and Family Studies, (515) 2942745, mjmurphy@iastate.edu Mike Ferlazzo, News Service, (515) 294-8986, ferlazzo@iastate.edu

ISU study finds wives have greater power in marriage problem-solving behavior
AMES, Iowa -- Men may still have more power in the workplace, but apparently women really are "the boss" at home. That's according to a new study by a team of Iowa State University researchers. The study of 72 married couples from Iowa found that wives, on average, exhibit greater situational power -- in the form of domineering and dominant behaviors -- than their husbands during problem-solving discussions, regardless of who raised the topic. All of the couples in the sample were relatively happy in their marriages, with none in counseling at the time of the study. Associate Professor of Psychology David Vogel and Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Studies Megan Murphy led the research. The ISU research team also included Associate Professor of Human Development and Family Studies Ronald Werner-Wilson, Professor of Psychology Carolyn Cutrona -- who is director of the Institute for Social and Behavioral Research at Iowa State -- and Joann Seeman, a graduate student in psychology. They authored a paper titled "Sex Differences in the Use of Demand and Withdraw Behavior in Marriage: Examining the Social Structure Hypothesis," which appeared in last month's issue of the Journal of Counseling Psychology -- a professional journal published by the American Psychological Association. Wives have the marriage power "The study at least suggests that the marriage is a place where women can exert some power," said Vogel. "Whether or not it's because of changing societal roles, we don't know. But they are, at least, taking responsibility and power in these relationships. So at least for relatively satisfied couples, women are able to take some responsibility and are able to exert some power -- but it's hard for us to say why that's so."

"Women are responsible for overseeing the relationship -- making sure the relationship runs, that everything gets done, and that everybody's happy," said Murphy, "And so, maybe some of that came out in our findings in terms of women domineering and dominating -- that they were taking more responsibility for the relationship, regardless of whose topic was being discussed." The researchers solicited participation from married couples in and around the Iowa State campus. On average, spouses were around 33 years of age and had been married for seven years. Most participants were European Americans (66%), followed by Asian (22%), Hispanic (5%), and African-American (4%) -- with the final three percent representing other nationalities. Each spouse was asked to independently complete a questionnaire on relationship satisfaction and an assessment of overall decisionmaking ability in the relationship. Each spouse also was asked to identify a problem in their relationship -- an issue in which he or she desired the most change and which could not be resolved without the spouse's cooperation. Spouses were then asked to answer some questions about their chosen topics, including the type of problemsolving behaviors that generally take place when this topic arises, and the importance of the topic. Couples were then brought together and asked to discuss each of the problem topics for 10 minutes apiece -- discussions that were videotaped. The researchers did not participate in the discussion. "We actually just asked them to start talking about the issue, and then we left the room," said Vogel. "And so they were all by themselves in the room talking. We were as non-obtrusive as possible. We just came back at the end of the period of time, and asked them to talk about the other topic." At the end of the discussions, couples were separated again. Each spouse was then debriefed and discussed his or her feelings and reactions to the study. The researchers reviewed and coded the videotapes of couples' interactions using a widely-accepted interaction rating system. The system consists of five dimensions to calculate demand and withdraw behaviors -- avoidance, discussion, blame, pressure for change, and withdraws. Not all talk and no action The researchers concluded in their paper that wives behaviorally exhibited more domineering attempts and were more dominant -- i.e., more likely to have their partner give in -- than husbands during discussions of either spouse's topic. That refuted their initial premise that sex differences in marital power would favor husbands. Vogel said that wives weren't simply talking more than their husbands in discussions, but actually were drawing favorable responses from their husbands to what they said. "That's what I think was particularly interesting," he said. "It wasn't just that the women were bringing up issues that weren't being responded to, but that the men were actually going along with what they said. They (women) were communicating more powerful messages and men were responding to those messages by agreeing or giving in." "There's been research that suggests that's a marker of a healthy marriage -- that men accept influence from their wives," said Murphy. The study was funded, in part, by the National Institute of Mental Health, along with ISU. Vogel and Murphy hope to expand upon this research through a future study. -30-

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