Wild haggis (Haggis Scottii)

There are many different legends and myths concerning the Native Scottish Haggis including that the Haggis itself is a myth and is really a manufactured product of a skins filled with meat and barley. We think that these insinuations do a discredit to a great Scottish Industry and so we would like to give you the real facts...
Physiology and Habitat
The Wild Haggis is a small, shy, rough-haired quadrupe d creature, native to the Scotland. It should not be confused

with haggis, a traditional Scottish dish made from the innards of sheep (including heart, lungs, and liver). Accept no substitutes for the real thing.A notable feature is that the legs on one side of
the animal's body are both significantly longer than those on the other, this being a local long-term evolutionary adaptation to living on the steep sides of Scottish mountains. Myths

about them only having three legs (one uphill leg and two downhill) are completely false they like most legged creatures have four legs, but their downhill legs are longer.
Haggis thus adapted can only travel with any ease or speed in one direction - clock-wise (Haggis Scottii dexterous), or anti-clockwise (Haggis Scotti sinistrous), depending on whether the legs are longer on the left or the right side of the animal. The former variety can run clockwise

around a mountain (as seen from above) while the latter can run anticlockwise. The two varieties coexist peacefully but are unable to interbreed in the wild because, in order for the male of one variety to mate with a female of the other, he must turn to face in the same direction as his intended mate, causing him to lose his balance before he can mount her. As a result, differences in leg length between the Haggis populations have become further accentuated with the passage of time. If the shorter legs do not
remain on the up-slope side of the hapless beastie it is in severe danger of falling over sideways and rolling to the bottom of the hillside.

The Haggis is generally thought to have a life span of about 18 years (although this is yet to be verified as they generally go underground from the age of 15 so there are only fossilised remains to examine) and are considered mature at around the age of 8 years. The young haggis is typified in form by being quite small and squat whilst in advancing years they tend to be fuller and longer in the body. The mating season of the Haggis is at its height in February. The gestation period for the female Haggis is 10 weeks. The female cares for and raises the offspring - usually 3 to 4 in number - for the following 15 weeks before rolling them down the hill and leaving them to fend for themselves.

Haggis sub-species
Regional, and indeed very specifically local sub-species of haggis exist, identifiable to the true haggis expert because the actual difference in the length of the legs is dependent on the steepness of the slopes within their habitat. Haggis are thus adapted to the angle of slope in a geographically very small area, resulting in the haggis being 'clannish', fiercely territorial and pure-bred. It is virtually impossible for courtship and mating to occur between Haggis Scotti dexterous and Haggis Scotti sinistrous individuals in the wild, since in order for the male of one variety to mate with a female of the other, he must turn to face in the same direction as his intended mate, causing him to lose his balance before he can mount her.

The Hebridean Haggis is thought to be the original native species from which all other haggis are descended. This breed of haggis was much smaller and more hardy than the mainland varieties and formed part of the staple diet of the ancient Scots. It is believed that the present wild haggis population is descended from the feral haggis, which in turn were the descendants of the domesticated Hebridean haggis, abandoned when the native Scots crofters and their families were forced to leave the land at the time of the Highland Clearances (Scottish Gaelic: Fuadach nan Gidheal, the expulsion of the Gael), the forced displacements of the population of the Scottish Highlands during the 18th and 19th centuries. Like the crofters themselves, the haggis faced extinction through competition with the large numbers of sheep which were introduced as part of a process of agricultural change, considered to be necessary 'improvements' by the land owners. Owing to their inability to move on other terrain, plus their need for a constant supply of local heather and peaty burns - haggis have an acute sensitivity to water pH balance - none of the live pet haggis which the crofters attempted to take with them survived for more than a few days away from their native mountain sides. A large number of wild haggis still roam the moors and machair of the Western Isles and, despite the Isles of Lewis and Harris having a strict Sabbatarian tradition, the Hebridean Haggis Hunt is one of the few events that takes place on a Sunday across all of the islands - including Lewis and Harris. The Lewis Haggis is different from the Haggis on the mainland: unlike its mainland relative all its legs are of the same length. Capturing of wild haggis on Lewis is a traditional community event. At dusk, the young men of the villages go out on to the moors to form a wide semi-circle while the elders cover peat creels with heather and turf, just leaving the opening visible. The young men, acting as 'beaters', drive the haggis towards the

traps. On perceiving the elders, the haggis panic, seek shelter and mistaking the creels for burrows the haggis are caught, quickly dispatched and passed to the women-folk for skinning. The haggis are then soaked in brine for a couple of days to become tender and ready to cook. (According to an authoritative source, a resident of Lewis, traditionally the haggis skin would be used as a sporran, but with the decline in kilt wearing over the years the skins are now often discarded.)

Rare Breed Haggis There are no wild haggis outside Scotland and the haggis in its native land is a rather shy and retiring rare-breed. The Golden Haggis is much more common in the Western Isles (especially on the machair) than on the mainland and commands a premium price. All wild haggis is therefore considered to be a great delicacy, to be prepared and presented with care and ceremony and eaten on special occasions. How to hunt Wild Haggis Catching Haggis is a highly skilled occupation and professional haggis catchers are now very hard to come by. It is a skill which tends to be passed down from one generation to the next but as more and more young people leave the Scottish upland areas in search of fame and fortune, there is a real fear that haggis hunters are a dying breed. The Professional Institute of Scottish Haggis Encarceration Detectives (PISHED) has a very strict code of conduct limiting the amount of information that can be disseminated on this national skill. What they can say is that it involves long hours and copious amounts of 15 year old single malt whisky. One hunter, who did not wish to be named for fear of persecution from other PISHED members did provide us with the following information:First, be sure to identify whether the creature you are stalking is a clockwise or anti-clockwise variety. Dig a large hole in which to hide and then, as it approaches, leap up and yell, "BOOOO!!" in its face as loudly as your lungs permit (it will be noted that facing in the wrong direction at this point would be rather ineffectual, hence the importance of pre-determining the rotational preference of the intended prey). Correct application will cause the animal to take fright, recoil and turn to attempt to run in the opposite direction, the consequences of which will be immediately apparent. While it is still stunned from rolling downhill, simply pick it up (assuming that you have managed to keep pace with its rate of descent and reach it before it has recovered), whack it over the head with your shillelagh and pop it into your haversack.