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Don't Think Twice,You Can Make It How to get past breakups and failed relationsh ips.

Q: I am always asking myself what's wrong with me because most of my relationshi ps have failed or lead to breakups. Could there be a problem with me? A: It's easy to blame ourselves when relationships fail. Sometimes we push other s away, and sometimes they push us away. Other times there is no one at fault be cause the feelings simply die and the relationship naturally ends. It's also easy to lose perspective when we're in pain all losses, big or small, produce feelings of anger, sadness and even denial to some degree. What you are feeling is normal. Let's start thinking of breakups in another way as learning experiences.

You should feel proud that you were open and vulnerable enough to give another p erson your love and devotion. Such vulnerability is a sign of great faith and br avery. Vulnerable people are not weak, they're strong. Love is a risky proposition, but nothing in the world can compare to the payoffs . However, no amount of energy can transform relationships that are wrong for us into ones that are right for us. Remember, every one of your relationships helps you learn more about yourself an d what you want and need in a partner. In this sense, relationships that don't l ast are not failures. They are opportunities for learning. You will find strength, perspective, and renewed hope and optimism if you view y our past relationships this way. Remember that you're attractive inside and out. That is not an opinion; it's a f act. You know this, because you've had several romantic relationships. What you might not have had yet is a romantic relationship with a truly compatible person and that makes all the difference in the world. Short-term compatibility is not the same as long-term compatibility. It takes a strong and persistent individual to find a truly compatible person, because it t akes time and knowledge to recognize long-term compatibility when you encounter it. Finding love is first finding out what you want and need for yourself, and what you have inside to give to another. That is a process, rather than merely an out come. You can find that compatible person! Use the TRUE Compatibility Test to help you cull the prospects and find someone with whom you will have lasting love. Our te st will not tell you whether you are going to fall madly in love with another pe rson on a physical level, just whether it is a good idea if you do. Q: I don't have problems meeting ladies online, and they seem to enjoy writing b ack and forth. I'm not at a loss for words and can usually get a date. My proble m: I have worked in law enforcement most of my life and was injured in the line of duty. I live an independent life, but I look like someone with a disability, like poli o, MS or CP. From my experience this can be a very big turn-off for a lot of lad ies looking for Mr. Right. How can I deal with this, even after telling them the truth? This can lead to hurt feelings all the way around! Can you help?

A: First and foremost, thank you for your lifelong service in the public safety and security sector. We're deeply and aggressively committed to making online da ting safer, so we especially appreciate the sacrifices you've made and are sensi tive to the issues you face on a daily basis. It's crucial for you to understand that women are much more forgiving about look s than men when it comes to romantic love. Women place greater emphasis on other characteristics like an attractive personality, sense of humor and the ability of a man to provide emotional and financial security. Look at the loving relationship the actor Christopher Reeve continued to have wi th his wife after his paralyzing injury. It sounds to me like you have these pos itive characteristics, which often outweigh the influence of physical attributes . If you agree, then emphasize these traits more in your online profile and in you r conversations. What's amazing in your case is that you have all of these thing s to offer a prospect despite your physical limitations. This fact will make you particularly attractive to the right woman. Only by being upfront and honest ab out yourself will you find that right woman one who defines Mr. Right in terms t hat transcend physical ability. Good luck, and please keep us posted on what happens!

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